The Ties that Bind
by Chelles
Summary: Remus was sure that his chance for love had died with his wife years ago. Now, in the midst of reforming both his friendship with Sirius and the Order, a second chance at love presents itself. Will he have the strength to seize it? Sequel to Potter Legacy
1. So Many Years Gone

A/N: Welcome to my latest story! Before you get started, I highly advise reading "Before Harry: The Marauders' Tale" and "The Potter Legacy: The Story of Lily and James." This story is the sequel to those two, and builds on the characters and situations in them.

For those who knew to expect this story, I'm sure you're excited to see that I'm posting long before I thought I could! Once I got started on the outline and this chapter, I became obsessed – and I couldn't wait to post!

This chapter and the next one are set before the bulk of the story (hence the dates to keep everything straight). The story is going to center on the Order years, but I wanted this chapter to sort of set everything up. I think that getting to know Harry all over again was important for my characters, which is why I've started this story where I did. I hope you agree that this is a necessary chapter.

With that said, I wish you happy reading! Thanks for your support, and for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter or _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_. The first scene of this chapter is based on the scene found on pages 82 – 86 of the American hardback edition.

So Many Years Gone

_1 September 1993_

Feeling a thousand eyes upon him, Remus Lupin walked quickly through King's Cross Station, pushing his trolley in front of him. He wondered if the other travelers were staring because of his shabby clothes or because of the ratty state of his luggage. He supposed that it didn't much matter. All he had to do was to get to the other side of the barrier. Once he was on the platform, no one would be staring – mainly because no one would be there so early.

A quick glance at the clock assured him that he still had plenty of time. It was only half past nine in the morning. While the station was full of commuters, he knew that his platform would be deserted. There was still over an hour before the train would leave. The students and their families wouldn't start arriving until after ten.

As he approached the barrier, a deep sense of dread filled him. What was he doing? How could he go back, even after all these years? He must have been a fool to accept the job offer at his old school.

But he did need the job and the money it would provide. Those two factors had influenced him greatly when he had accepted the position. He had given his word that he would be there, and he could never go back on his word. For someone like him, his personal honor was of the utmost importance. Taking a deep breath, he leaned on the barrier. Seconds later, he fell through onto Platform 9 and ¾.

The Hogwarts Express stood before him, looking as highly polished as he remembered. Even in his state of nervous tension, he couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. This train held so many memories for him. Despite all the unknowns in his future, he knew that he truly was glad that he had accepted Dumbledore's offer and taken the teaching job. He suddenly couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts. Even with all of the horrific post-graduation memories of his friends, he was sure that Hogwarts itself would remain untainted. It was a place of only happy memories, a place where he could smile as he thought back on his greatest friends as he remembered them best – children who wanted nothing more than to have fun as they grew up.

He climbed aboard the deserted train and dragged his luggage to the very last compartment. This was _their_ compartment. Even after so many years, he couldn't consider sitting anywhere else.

After stowing his luggage, he took two items from his briefcase. He opened the paper he had brought from home, the _Daily Prophet_, and skimmed the front page. The Ministry was still looking for Sirius Black. Remus sighed as he refolded the paper. They weren't going to find Sirius, he was sure of that. If Black wanted to make himself invisible, there was no way anyone would be able to track him down, no matter how hard they tried.

Not for the first time, Remus wondered if he should go to the Ministry with what he knew – that Black was an unregistered Animagus. Once again, he dismissed the idea. Olivia Alexander knew as much as he did about Sirius's ability to transform at will, and she was an Auror. Surely, if she thought the information was pertinent, she would have given it to the Ministry.

Thinking of Olivia, he pulled out the second item he had taken from his briefcase. He took the parchment from its envelope so that he could read the letter that had arrived that morning. In the rush to leave his house, he had not yet had a chance to open it.

"_Dear Remus,_

"_Congratulations on the new job! I can't believe you'll be back at Hogwarts. I must admit, I'm really jealous. Dana and I haven't been able to talk about anything else since we got your owl yesterday. Dana told Laura, and she hasn't stopped asking if you'll get to teach Harry Potter. We said that you would, but I don't think she's going to rest until she hears it from you. Write her when you get a chance. Maybe then she'll leave her mother alone!"_

Remus smiled, thinking of the excitement his news must have caused. He knew that Olivia and their friend Dana McKinley had as much love for Hogwarts as he did. And Laura, Dana's daughter, would be particularly interested in a teaching position, as she would be starting her second year at Beauxbatons the same day Remus started his new job.

The thought of Dana's Laura brought a smile to Remus's face. His goddaughter was, in his highly biased opinion, an extraordinarily little girl. The news that she wanted to hear about Harry Potter came as no surprise; he knew that she was quite enamored with the young hero. While such a crush was not all that unusual in any small witch, the infatuation was greater in Laura than most. Knowing that her mother had been close friends with Harry's parents made her feel as though she and Harry were friends. Remus thought of it with a pang, knowing that Dana and Lily Potter had had many conversations about what good friends their children would be. Now that Laura lived in France and Harry in England, such a friendship seemed impossible.

"_I don't have much time to write now, but we do need to catch up properly. It's been forever since we all got together! I know that you won't be able to get away much anymore, but I need to be in the UK next week for a meeting at the Ministry. Dana already said that she has to work, but if you're free next Saturday, I'd love to meet up in Hogsmeade. What do you say? Can you make it?_

"_Congratulations again, Remus, and make sure that you cause some trouble at Hogwarts! Let me know if you'll be able to make it on Saturday. _

"_Love, Olivia"_

Smiling even wider, Remus folded up the parchment and replaced it in its envelope. He would write to Olivia as soon as he got to Hogwarts to set up their meeting for Saturday. She was right; it had been over two months since they had gotten together, which was highly unusual. Since her move to France following James and Lily's deaths, he had gone to visit her and Dana, or they had visited him, at least once a month.

He put the newspaper and the letter away, and settled himself down in the corner, noticing for the first time how exhausted he was. The adrenaline he had felt that morning as he had rushed to the station finally faded away, leaving him with the after-affects of a night without sleep. While the night of the full moon was never a fun experience, his nerves about starting his new job had made this month's transformation particularly difficult to bear.

Taking advantage of the cool quiet of the empty train, he leaned his head against the window. It was only a moment before sleep claimed him.

* * *

Remus was awoken from his dreamless sleep by confused, scared voices. He dragged himself almost reluctantly back into wakefulness, only to see that the train was now dark. He frowned in confusion of his own. They were stopped, but they were nowhere near Hogsmeade Station. Apparently he was now sharing his compartment; the loud, jumbled voices of teenagers permeated the small room, making it almost impossible for him to concentrate.

"Quiet!" he said without thinking.

His companions fell silent at once. He muttered a spell, bringing blue flames to life in his hands. He held them out in front of him to illuminate the compartment, which he saw that he was now sharing with two girls and three boys – _his students_. Wanting to smile at the thought, he quickly realized that he had to take charge, to be their teacher. He had to discover what had happened, and to try to rectify the situation.

"Stay where you are," he cautioned, stepping around them to get to the door.

But the door opened before he could take more than a step toward it. The fire in his hands died out as the dementor entered their compartment.

Remus looked around wildly as the dementor drew in its raspy breath. Three of the children looked frightened, and the other two were both beginning to shake. He knew that it would only be a moment before they both passed out. He wondered what horrific experiences someone so young could have lived through.

Then the cold saturated his own being . . .

"_Is this what I need to sign?" he asked dully. _

"_Yes," Dr. Hayward said. He cleared his throat. "Remus, I –"_

"_Don't," Remus interrupted. "I know. I wish things could have been different, too, but there's nothing we can do to change it. The least I can do is to let her go in peace." He looked down at his wife again. "She would have hated this. I can't keep her this way knowing that."_

_The doctor nodded, and handed him the clipboard. "We need your signature in three places. They're all marked with an x."_

_Remus nodded, and signed the forms without reading them. He gave the clipboard back to the doctor, who nodded again. _

"_I'll just get a nurse, and we'll take care of everything."_

Remus shook his head, trying to banish the evil thoughts. Dementors always made him relive his wife's death; he knew enough not to let the memory pull him under.

"None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go," he said to the dementor, trying to sound stronger than he felt as another memory took hold of him.

"_James and Lily have died," Dumbledore said softly. "We have moved their bodies to St. Mungo's mortuary until funeral arrangements can be made . . . in light of all that has happened, I think it would be best if the two of you were the ones to make those arrangements."_

"_The two of us," Olivia repeated as though in a daze. "What about Sirius? Shouldn't he help us with that? They were his best friends, too."_

"_Sirius is in no position to assist with anything related to the Potter family," Dumbledore said a bit harshly. _

"_What are you trying to say?" Olivia asked. _

_Remus's eyes widened. "He was their Secret Keeper . . . no one could find them unless he told them how to . . ."_

_Dumbledore looked at Remus and nodded. "He led Voldemort to the Potters."_

_Any color that remained in Remus's face drained out of it; even his lips lost their color. He dropped his head into his hands. _

"_No, no, no, no, no," he moaned. "How could he do this? He was their best friend . . . their best friend . . ."_

Remus shook his head again, and pulled his wand out of his pocket. They were not going to do this to him. They were not going to make him relive the past this way. He thought of his wedding day, focusing on the utter joy he had felt as he watched his Laura walk down the aisle toward him on her father's arm.

"_Expecto patronum_," he said, watching as the silvery mist shot out of his wand.

His Patronus, a silvery unicorn, hit the dementor square in the chest, driving it away. The lights in the compartment came on again, and he looked around at his young charges.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "Is everyone all right?"

Two of the boys and one of the girls were already on their feet, jumping to the aid of the third boy, who was lying on the floor. Remus couldn't see his face around his friends, but was certain that he had passed out. He looked around for the other girl, who was curled up in a ball in a corner, shaking uncontrollably. He thought that she could use her friends' help as much as the one on the floor. He reached up for his suitcase, and pulled out a large chocolate bar, knowing that it would bring some warmth back to the children.

The boy on the floor had managed to come around; he was starting to ask his friends what had happened. Remus stepped forward to give him a piece of chocolate, but stopped short as he recognized the young man's face.

"James," he whispered so low that none of them could hear it. "No – it can't be . . ."

As understanding hit, him he felt as though he had been slapped across the face. It wasn't James Potter sitting in front of him, it was his _son_ – it was _Harry_ . . .

In order to delay in the moment in which he would have to think about it, he began breaking the chocolate in his hands. Harry looked up at him with Lily's green eyes, and Remus's breath caught in his throat. If someone had asked him twelve years ago to describe the thirteen-year-old Harry, he would have laughingly said that he would look like James with Lily's eyes – given his appearance as a baby, it would have made sense. But now that he was actually seeing this older Harry, he could barely believe his eyes. How could he look so much like his father? How could his eyes be exact replicas of those of his mother?

He passed the chocolate to all the children without realizing what he was doing. After commanding them to eat, he gave some flimsy excuse to leave the compartment.

Once outside, he leaned up against the wall, taking deep breaths. He remembered his conversation with Dumbledore only two days before, when the headmaster had officially offered him the job. His one word of caution had been that Harry would be one of Remus's students. Remus's eyes had lit up; he could hardly wait to be a part of his friends' son's life again.

"You must be careful, Remus," Dumbledore had cautioned. "Remember, Harry does not know you. I know that you were close to him when he was a baby, but he has not seen you, or even heard your name, in twelve years. He will not remember you, or know how special you were to his parents and to him. Do not expect him to respond to you instantly. And do not show favoritism toward him."

"How can I not?" Remus had protested. "He's James and Lily's son, Dumbledore!"

"I know that. And I know better than anyone how easy it is to love him, to want to hold him close and defend him from the world. But, Remus, in his eyes, you are just another teacher – the third in your subject area that he has studied with. He may have already learned not to get attached to his defense professors, fearing that he will not see them again after one year with them."

"I understand what you're trying to say, Dumbledore. I won't push him, and I won't tell him about my friendship with James and Lily," Remus had promised.

Now, standing only feet away from Harry on the train, Remus wondered if he would be able to keep his word.

* * *

_7 September 1993_

Remus finished marking the last of his fifth year essays, writing a bold A on the last one. He rubbed his eyes as he pushed his chair back from his desk. His students were terribly behind. He had, of course, expected this when he had learned that Gilderoy Lockhart had been their last teacher, but had hoped that they would be a bit more advanced than they were. He was working them far harder than he wanted to in an effort to be sure that they would be ready for their exams – particularly his O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. students.

He glanced at the clock and jumped out of his seat. He had to meet Olivia in Hogsmeade in less than thirty minutes. How could he have let the time get away from him?

After hurrying to get ready, he rushed down the corridors to leave the school. As he walked, he greeted the students he saw in the halls, quizzing himself mentally to see if he could match names with the faces that walked past him. He remembered more than half of their names, which he considered a pretty good record, given that they had only been in school for a week.

"Professor Lupin, do you have a moment?"

Remus stopped dead in his tracks as he always had when hearing that voice. He turned to see Professor McGonagall coming toward him. He nodded in response to her query. Even though he did not have the time to meet with her, he knew that he could never refuse a request from his former teacher.

She opened the door to her office and ushered him in ahead of her, as she had done during his schooldays. The old feeling of nervousness overtook him; he was reminded of the first time she had given him detention, for wandering the halls with his friends after curfew. She closed the door behind them, and smiled at him.

"I won't keep you long," she promised. "I just wanted to ask how your first week of school has gone."

"Oh," Remus said, his nerves disappearing. "It's gone quite well."

"You're not having any problems with the students?"

"Well, the Slytherins can be a bit of a challenge," he admitted with a smile. "But I'm afraid that my Gryffindor allegiances might be causing me some trouble there."

She nodded. "I know that Severus has the same problems. He has a tendency to favor the Slytherins, despite the number of times that I have told him that he must treat them all equally." She gave him the severe look he remembered so well from his days as a student. "I hope you're not guilty of the same thing."

"No, I do my best not to show favoritism," Remus replied, thinking of his promise to Dumbledore before the beginning of the year. He grinned. "They all get the same amount of homework, and they all receive and lose the same amount of House points."

"Good," she said. "Are you having any other troubles, then?"

"Well, I'm spending far more time catching them up with where they should be than I had intended."

"Ah," she said with a nod, "I was afraid that you would find them behind. Knowledgeable though he may have been about his books, Gilderoy did not provide them with the education that they deserved. Do you think you'll be able to bring them up to O.W.L and N.E.W.T. standards by the end of the year?"

"I'll do my best," Remus promised.

She nodded. "That's all we can ask of you. Do you have any other problems? Have you found anything too difficult?"

"No, not at all. I'm enjoying teaching."

She smiled. "I always have, too. If there's anything else you'd like to discuss, Remus, remember that my door is always open to you."

He smiled. "Thank you, Professor."

"Remus, please," she smiled. "It's Minerva."

Remus smiled, thinking that there was no way in the world that he would ever be able to call this woman by her first name. He closed the door behind him as he left her office, and took off at a quick pace for Hogsmeade.

Olivia was already seated in the Three Broomsticks when Remus entered the pub. She smiled when she saw him, and waved him over. Smiling in greeting, he crossed the room to join her.

"Hello, Liv," he smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm late. McGonagall caught me on my way out – I have to tell you, I felt far more like one of her students than anything else."

Olivia laughed. "Forgiven. I'm almost impressed that you got away from her without detention."

Remus smiled. "So, tell me, how have you been?"

"Terribly busy, I'm sorry to say," she replied. She grinned at him. "But I don't have any news nearly as exciting as yours! Remus! You're a teacher!"

"I'm a teacher," he grinned. "Can you believe it?"

"Of course I can," she said loyally. "I'm sure you're a brilliant teacher. There's no one out there who knows more about defense than you do. Who better to teach the young witches and wizards of the UK?"

"You're going a bit far," he laughed. "But I am having fun."

"Are you, really? I never thought of our teachers as fun-loving individuals." She laughed. "McGonagall certainly didn't have fun on a daily basis."

"I think she does," Remus replied. "If she didn't like it, I don't think she would have spent this long doing it." He smiled. "She really does care about the students."

"Yeah, in a scary way," Olivia giggled.

"She can be scary," Remus laughed. "But she cares."

"She does," Olivia finally agreed. "But as for the others . . . are you really sure they're having fun in their work?"

"Did you ever pay attention in Charms?" Remus asked incredulously. "Flitwick adores teaching! You can tell just by watching him. He loves his students and his subject area, and he loves sharing all he knows. Haven't you ever seen the way his face just lights up when his students grasp a new concept?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Olivia mused. "I remember how he used to look at Lily, like nothing could ever give him greater joy than watching her charm a teacup to dance." She grinned. "Then again, she was his favorite. Always the star student."

"Yeah, she was," Remus agreed.

"Do you have a favorite student?"

"After one week?"

Olivia laughed. "Oh, I see how it is. You want to wait to see who will be the brightest before you pick a favorite."

"Pretty much," Remus grinned. "No use picking a favorite only to find out that he can't even banish a boggart."

"You're teaching them about boggarts?"

"The third years," Remus nodded. "That's when we learned it, right?"

"I guess," Olivia said uncertainly. "To be honest, Remus, I just don't remember. It's been too long."

"Yeah, it's been forever."

"Now, now, let's not go _that_ far," she laughed. "We're not ancient yet, Remus."

"Compared to them, we are."

"They're also eleven years old. When they were born, we were already adults."

Remus smiled. "They aren't _all_ eleven. The third years are thirteen. We were only about twenty or twenty-one when they were born."

Olivia nodded with a smile. "I suppose we were just barely adults then." Her eyes grew wide with realization. "Remus . . ."

"Yes?"

"The third years . . . born when we were twenty . . . Remus, is _Harry_ one of your students?"

"Yes," he said quietly.

"Oh, my – oh, Remus – I didn't think about it . . . I know Laura was talking Dana's ear off about you teaching Harry, but I never really thought that you would –"

Remus laughed. "What, did you think he'd be taking defense from someone else?"

"No, I just didn't think . . . I don't know _what_ I thought." She leaned forward eagerly. "What's he like, Remus? Tell me about him."

"I don't know him very well yet," Remus said slowly.

"Tell me all that you can." She looked up at him with tears beginning to pool in her eyes. "This is _Harry_, Remus. It's James and Lily's little boy. Please, you have to tell me something. I can't get this close to him without knowing about him."

Remus nodded, knowing how she felt. "He's James, Liv. The first time I saw him, I thought he was James. I mean, I knew he couldn't be, but . . . I can't believe how much he looks like him."

"Really?"

"Really. Here, do something for me. Close your eyes."

She looked at him as though he had gone insane, but did as he requested.

"Good," he said. "Now, think of James as a third year. Do you remember what he looked like then?"

"Yes," she said, keeping her eyes closed.

"Good. Now, picture Lily's eyes instead of James's. Can you do that?"

"Yes," she said again.

"That's Harry."

Her eyes flew open. "He's James with Lily's eyes?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "I guess I could have told myself that. I mean, he always was James with Lily's eyes. James's mum was saying that from the day that Harry was born."

Remus nodded with a smile. "It's one thing to know it in your head, but it's another to actually see it. It almost knocked me flat the first time I saw him."

"I can imagine," she agreed. "Is his personality like James's?"

"Sort of," Remus said. "He plays Quidditch – Seeker for Gryffindor's team. From what McGonagall told me, he started playing when he was a first year."

"Wow," Olivia breathed. "Can you imagine what James would have said when he read that letter from his little first year son?"

Remus grinned. "He would have gone insane."

"He must be good, if he started first year."

"So I've been told," Remus agreed. "The season hasn't started yet, so I don't have any firsthand accounts to give you."

"So, he looks like James with Lily's eyes, and he plays Quidditch," she summarized. "What else? Tell me more."

"Well, he's a fairly good student from what I've seen," Remus said. "He doesn't slack off as much as James, but he doesn't devote all his time to studying like Lily. He's pretty much in between them in that respect. He has a couple of friends that I see him with all the time – both Gryffindor third years. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger."

Olivia nodded. "I've met the Weasley family. Nice people. They have seven children, I think. Well – maybe '_children_' isn't the right word for the oldest ones, but you get my point."

Remus nodded. "The oldest one at Hogwarts, Percy, is Head Boy." He smiled. "Bit pompous, if you ask me. He's nothing like James was as Head Boy."

"Stop digressing and tell me about Harry."

Remus shrugged helplessly. "I honestly don't have much to tell you, Liv. I've only had his class twice. I just don't know much about him yet."

"But you've talked to him outside of class, I'm sure."

"I've greeted him in the corridors, but that's about it."

Olivia's eyes widened in surprise. "But surely you're going to talk to him. You have to tell him who you are, Remus!"

"No," he said quietly.

"No?" she repeated in shock. "What do you mean? You have to tell him!"

"No, I don't, and I'm not going to. I promised Dumbledore that I wouldn't get too close."

"Why would Dumbledore make you promise something like that?"

"He said something about Harry not remembering me."

"So? You can get to know him now."

"Yes, but right now, when I look at him, I see James and Lily. I don't see _Harry_. I have to get to know him as Harry, not as my best friends' son. And to do that, I have to make sure that he just sees me as a teacher, not as a replacement for the family he's lost. I want him to be himself around me, so we can get to know each other in the proper perspective our relationship has now."

"'The proper perspective' . . . Remus Lupin, you're being ridiculous, and you know it."

He shook his head. "I don't think so, Liv. Dumbledore's right. I can't go rushing in to tell Harry about his past, thinking that he'll love me as the 'Uncle Remus' he knew as a baby. It would change the way we'd relate to one another. And the other students would accuse me of playing favorites, which wouldn't do him any good, either." He smiled slightly. "And, besides, you know how this job works. It's jinxed. I'll only have it for a year, and then I'll be gone."

"You don't really believe that. I know you want to keep this job. You wouldn't have taken it if you truly thought it was jinxed."

"But what if it is true? What if I do tell him, and then, less than a year later, I disappear from his life again? No, Liv, I'm not going to put him through that. From what I can see, he's come to terms with his parents being gone and with not knowing much about his past. He's happy as he is. I want to let him continue that way, and just remain the teacher who cares about him."

"You're never going to be happy with that," Olivia said, shaking her head. "There's no way you're going to be able to spend a year this close to Harry without telling him who you are. You want the relationship you're supposed to have with him, Remus, I know you do."

"Of course I do," he said fiercely. "Do you think I'm happy about doing this? Do you think I'm keeping my distance because of anything that _I_ want? Of course not! I'm doing this for Harry, Liv, not for me. He comes first. He always has, and he always will."

Olivia exhaled slowly. "I know what you're trying to do and why you're trying to do it," she said softly. "I just hope you can."

Remus looked off into space for a moment. "So do I, Olivia," he said in a low voice. "So do I."


	2. The Truth Makes Free

A/N: I'm sorry to confuse so many people with the first couple of chapters! They were originally a prologue, but they ended up so long that I split it into two chapters. Let me give you a better summary of my story:

The time period (after this chapter) will be from the end of Harry's fourth year through his sixth year. I'm planning to cover the actions that Sirius and Remus take with the formation of the Order of the Phoenix. The central romance will be Remus/Tonks once I get going – but, for all my Sirius/Olivia fans, they're going to be big, too.

Thanks for your patience as I get this off the ground – your support means the world to me!

**Patsfan1254:** Yes, I plan to keep this as true to the books as possible!

**candi tonks:** This is most definitely going to be Remus/Tonks. Just have a little patience with me while we get there . . . we've only just begun!

**Evangelion999:** We're going to see snippets of time until Sirius shows up at Remus's house on Dumbledore's orders to regroup the "old crowd." Then we'll stay on pace with what happened through books 5 and 6.

**Mirrorbay2000:** I seriously considered doing the third book from Remus's POV – in fact, I started an outline for it. But, I got worried about how much I'd have to rely on direct quotes from the text, and decided to just write a couple of key scenes into this story instead.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Truth Makes Free

_20 June 1994 _

Pain. Regret.

The two things he had not felt in months following a full moon filled his being as he struggled to open his eyes. The small movement was almost too much, but he forced his eyes open, squinting against the bright light that flooded through the windows of . . . where was he?

He opened his eyes fully, looking around in confusion. He turned his head to the right, and the form of Albus Dumbledore came into focus.

"Good afternoon, Remus," the older man smiled. "Welcome back."

"Professor," Remus muttered. "Where am . . .?" The question died on his lips, and he sat straight up in bed. "Where are they? Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Sirius? Are they all right? And Peter? Has he confessed? Has Sirius been freed? Can I talk to him? We have so much to discuss . . ."

"One question at a time, Professor Lupin," Dumbledore said calmly. "The children are fine. Poppy kept them overnight, but all three were released from the hospital wing this morning."

Remus nodded, relief showing on his face. "I didn't think I had attacked them, but sometimes . . . I can't remember everything that happens." He paused. "And Sirius and Peter?"

Dumbledore sighed. "It is a rather long story, Remus, but if you are willing to have patience, I will tell you everything."

Remus nodded. "Please do."

The full story took over fifteen minutes to relate. Dumbledore told Remus of Peter's escape, of Sirius and Harry being cornered by the dementors, about Harry's Patronus saving them both, and about Harry and Hermione's experience with the Time-Turner that led them to free both Sirius and Buckbeak.

"And so," Dumbledore concluded, "both Sirius and Buckbeak have escaped from the authorities that were seeking their deaths or incarcerations – and Harry and Hermione managed to save quite a few lives." He smiled slightly. "I'm sure you will join me in saying that they are two incredibly talented young people."

Remus did not reply. He buried his face in his hands, unwilling to look up at the headmaster. Dumbledore watched him in silence for a moment before speaking again.

"I certainly hope you are not blaming yourself for what happened last night."

"How can I not?" Remus asked, raising his eyes to meet Dumbledore's penetrating gaze. "If I had just –"

Dumbledore stopped him by raising a hand. "Remus, do you realize how many lives were saved by your actions last night? And, yes, I do mean _all_ your actions. You know how special and trusting your bond with Harry has become this year; it was _your_ input that convinced him of Sirius's innocence. It was your skill as a teacher that led him to produce the Patronus that saved all their lives. And, Remus," he continued softly, "although I am certain that you will not want to hear it, it was your transformation that saved Peter's life. Had Cornelius been convinced of his guilt, he may have taken his cue from Barty Crouch and handed him to the dementors without a trial. His reputation as Minister is on the line right now, and he is trying to create an image of himself as a man of action."

"I suppose you're right," Remus muttered.

Dumbledore smiled. "And I have yet to even mention the weight that has been lifted from Sirius's shoulders."

"Weight?" Remus asked, frowning slightly as he met the headmaster's eyes.

"Others now know that he is innocent," Dumbledore said simply. "You gave him your forgiveness, Remus, and I know that that is a gift he will never regard lightly – particularly because I am not sure he will ever be able to forgive himself for all that happened that night in Godric's Hollow."

Remus felt his eyes fill with tears. Giving Sirius his forgiveness and receiving the same had indeed brought a new peace to his soul. He wanted desperately to talk to his friend, but knew that it would be impossible.

"Do you know where Harry is?" he asked instead. "I want to find him – I want to ask him about his Patronus."

"Ah," Dumbledore said. "There is one other thing I must tell you before you rejoin the rest of the school."

"Yes?"

"Remus, there is no easy way for me to say this . . . I hope you will allow me to be terribly blunt."

"Please, just tell me," Remus replied.

"This morning at breakfast, Professor Snape mentioned the nature of your condition to the Slytherins."

The color drained from Remus's face, leaving his cuts and bruises standing out in vibrant reds, blues, and purples. "What?" he whispered. "They all know? They know what I am?"

"Yes, I am afraid so," Dumbledore said quietly. "You must understand, Remus, that as far as I am concerned, nothing has changed. You are still the same man you were yesterday, and that man is a brilliant teacher."

But Remus shook his head. "No, Professor. I can't stay now – not if the students know. Their parents will never trust a werewolf to be a responsible teacher, and you certainly do not need the battle of convincing them to feel differently. I am resigning. If you need that in writing, I will give you a letter."

"Remus, don't make up your mind so quickly," Dumbledore said softly. "You've just had several horrible shocks at once – I can't possibly accept a resignation made under such stress."

"My mental state is fine, sir," Remus said with a slight smile. "I do thank you for the opportunity to teach your students – and for the opportunity to get to know Harry again. I will never forget your kindness this year, or your faith in me. But I can't possibly stay – not now."

"If you are sure . . ." Dumbledore said hesitantly.

"I am," Remus sighed. He looked away for a moment, then back at his former employer. "I have loved every minute of teaching. I finally understand what has made you, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Flitwick stay with it for so long."

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, Remus. You are the sort of teacher that we need to keep."

Remus shrugged. "I can't honestly say that I expected it to last. Being what I am . . . I'm used to leaving jobs." He smiled slightly. "Besides, isn't the job jinxed?"

Dumbledore looked pensive. "You know, Remus, I'm beginning to believe it myself."

* * *

_21 June 1994 _

By the next morning, Remus had unpacked and reestablished himself at home. He knew that he should be looking for another job, but he had far more pressing matters to attend to first. Taking a fistful of Floo powder, he stepped over to his fireplace. He took a deep breath, then threw the powder into the grate.

"Olivia Alexander!" he yelled as the green swirling flames engulfed him.

"Goodness, Remus!" Olivia exclaimed as he climbed out of her fireplace. "I hadn't expected to see you so soon! Already bored with your summer break?"

"We need to talk," he said at once.

Her face paled as she took in the seriousness in his eyes. "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Nothing's wrong," he said quickly. He smiled. "In fact, everything's right."

"You'll be going back to Hogwarts next year, then?" she asked with a beaming smile. "Have you broken the curse?"

"Ah, no, Liv," he said with a slight smile. "The curse is still firmly in place.

"What happened? You loved that job!"

"I know. Unfortunately, some staff members didn't love _me_."

"What on earth are you trying to say?"

He smiled a twisted smile. "Snivellus mentioned to his students that I'm a werewolf."

Olivia gasped. "Snape? He did that to you?"

"Yes."

"But why?"

Remus shrugged. "Some people have trouble letting go of old grudges, I suppose." He paused. "No, that's not true. I know exactly why he did it. He had to get back at me for my part in letting Sirius get the better of him yet again."

"Sirius? Remus, what on earth are you trying to tell me?"

"It's a long story, Liv, so you're going to have to have some patience with me. Do you have time now, or should we do this later?"

"No, now is good," she said, sitting down. "Have a seat and tell me what happened."

Remus sat down, and looked across at her. "Liv, do you remember the Marauders' Map?"

"That map that you guys made back in sixth year?" she asked in surprise. "Yeah, I remember it. Didn't Flich confiscate it?"

"Yeah, right before we took our N.E.W.T.s," Remus replied. "Well, apparently, he lost track of it."

"You took it back?" she laughed.

"No, I didn't," Remus replied. "Well, I didn't take it from him, at least. I confiscated it from another student."

"Remus Lupin, I'm shocked! After all the emotional turmoil you guys went through when you lost it, I'm appalled that you would take it from another student!" She laughed. "Then again, I'm glad it finally fell back into the right hands."

"Oh, no," Remus replied. "I took it _from_ the right hands."

"What do you mean?" she frowned.

"I took it from Harry, Liv."

"Harry had it?" she asked with wide eyes. "Where did he get it?"

"I don't know," Remus admitted. "I told him that I didn't want to know – and I probably don't."

"Why did you take it from him?" she asked. "You guys always said that it would go to your kids one day. I would think that you'd be happy to see that the next generation marauder got his hands on it."

"Under normal circumstances, yes," Remus said. "But, Liv, the way things looked, I couldn't let him keep it. What if he had lost it, and someone else had picked it up? Someone who knew how to use it?"

"You were afraid that Sirius would find it," she said stiffly. "I heard that he broke into the school. You thought that he might be using the map to do it."

Remus nodded. "Well, I knew that he didn't need the map just to break in. He knew the secret passages in and out of that school better than anyone. But I was afraid of what would happen if he had it once he was in. You remember how it works right? It shows everyone in the castle and on the grounds."

"It would have shown him exactly where Harry was," she said softly.

"Exactly. So, I took it to keep it safe."

"And to watch it yourself," she added with a smile.

"Well, yes," he admitted. "I remember saying when we wrote it that I could watch it all day. And I still can. You can spend forever just looking for one person, or marking that person's steps."

"You have a good attention span."

He smiled. "Well, the other day, Hagrid's hippogriff was scheduled to be executed. I know that Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione are very close with Hagrid, so I had a feeling that they might try to go visit him right before it happened – not exactly safe for Harry, as you know. Of course, I was right. They went out of the castle, to Hagrid's, and then left again."

"Sounds like a few other former students I can think of," Olivia grinned.

"I suppose so," Remus agreed with a grin. Then he sobered. "But, Liv, here's the thing. When they left Hagrid's hut, they weren't alone."

The color drained from her face again. "Was Sirius tailing them?"

"No," Remus said slowly, "but someone else was with them."

"Who?"

"Peter."

"Peter?" she repeated in confusion. "Peter who?"

"Peter Pettigrew."

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. "No, Remus, you know that can't be true. Peter's dead. Sirius killed him with all those Muggles years ago. There's no way he was with them."

"But he was, Liv!" Remus exclaimed. "I saw him!"

"The map must have been lying –"

"It can't!" Remus cried. "It doesn't have the capacity to lie! I wrote that map, Liv! I know exactly how we charmed it! We made sure that it would never reflect anything but absolute truth!"

"But how is that possible? How could he have been with them?"

"Because he's been with them ever since we thought he died," Remus said softly. "Sirius didn't kill Peter, Liv. He transformed into a rat and ran away. He's been living with the Weasley family for nearly thirteen years, pretending to be the family pet."

"But why would he do that?" she asked, frowning deeply. "Remus, this is the most inane story. How can you believe that it's true?"

"Because I talked to him, Liv," Remus said slowly. "I talked to Peter."

Olivia pressed her hands over her eyes. "You talked to him," she repeated slowly. She lowered her hands, and looked at him in shock. "So you're telling me that Peter Pettigrew – the Peter Pettigrew we have believed to be dead, the Peter Pettigrew that we have spent nearly thirteen years mourning, the man we believed to have died a hero's death – is _alive_?"

"Yes."

"Okay," she said, obviously willing herself to remain calm. "Okay. So Peter's alive. Can I see him?"

"No."

"Why not?" she asked, her temper beginning to rise.

"Because he's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean? Why would he leave so soon after finally seeing you again? Didn't he want to see Dana and I, too?"

"No, Liv, he didn't want to see any of us. He's on the run again."

"Remus, you are making absolutely no sense."

"Then stop asking me questions and let me talk!" Remus finally exclaimed.

"Fine!" Olivia replied. "Just tell me everything!"

Remus drew a deep breath. "Like I said, the kids had Peter with them when they left Hagrid's. I was absolutely shocked, obviously, and started watching their progress even more closely. They hadn't made it very far when they literally ran into someone else –"

"Sirius," she said weakly. "Oh, God, Remus, he didn't hurt Harry, did he?"

"No, Harry's fine," he assured her. "But Sirius grabbed Peter and Harry's friend Ron and pulled them down the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. The last thing I saw was Harry and Hermione following them."

"The last thing you saw?"

"Well, the map doesn't show the tunnel's other end. It just shows the end on the grounds. But I know where it goes, and I was sure no good could come of any of this – so I followed them."

"You went down the tunnel after them?"

"Yes. I followed them to the Shrieking Shack. By the time I got there, Harry already had his wand pointing straight at Sirius's chest – I'm sure he had heard the story of Sirius betraying his parents, and wanted to avenge their deaths."

"He killed Sirius?" Olivia whispered.

"No, I disarmed him before he could do anything. Then we had to straighten out a few issues – such as why Sirius had broken out of prison in the first place, and why Peter would choose to live as a rat for all these years, leaving us and his mother to think that he was dead."

"He adored his mother," Olivia said softly. "Why would he do that to her? Why would he put her through that?" Suddenly, her eyes grew wide. "Remus . . ."

Remus nodded. "They switched Secret Keepers," he said. "They never told anyone. It was part of their plan – they were going to let the world think that Sirius was the Secret Keeper to divert the attention away from Peter." He lowered his head. "You know that they knew there was a spy in the Order back then – they thought that it was me."

"You?" Olivia exclaimed. "How could . . .?" She trailed off, her eyes growing even wider. "I remember . . . when I told Sirius that James's mum had been killed because Voldemort thought that she was their Secret Keeper, he started – well, at the time I thought he was just rambling. I thought he was grief-stricken, so it didn't bother me that he wasn't making sense. But I remember that he was stunned that the Death Eaters would think that Mrs. Potter was the Secret Keeper. He said something about how they had made sure that _you_ knew that he was going to be their Secret Keeper . . ." She trailed off. "Oh, Remus. They thought that you would take the information back to Voldemort. Sirius wanted them to think it was him."

"Yes, that was the plan."

Tears filled her eyes. "Sirius was ready to let the Death Eaters attack him to find James and Lily. That way Peter would stay safe, and so would the Potters."

"Yes."

"He was ready to die for them." A tear slid down her cheek. "For thirteen years, I have been blaming Sirius for their deaths. And all that time, he's been innocent. He never did anything to them except volunteer his life for theirs."

Remus looked down and swallowed hard. "Yes," he said. "Peter was their Secret Keeper, and Peter told Voldemort how to find them. Sirius found out and went out after Peter with the intention of killing him. But Peter, for once in his life, beat Sirius. He blew up the street and all those people, cut off his finger, and transformed. He was gone before Sirius could do anything to stop him."

"Oh, God," Olivia moaned, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks in rapid streams. "How could we have been so wrong for so long?"

"What else could we have thought?" Remus asked. "All the evidence said that Sirius killed them all. How were we to know that Peter was their Secret Keeper? Even Dumbledore didn't know. And, let's be honest, Liv – we never in a million years would have believed that Peter could have beaten Sirius in a duel situation."

"Peter . . ." she muttered. She looked up with fire in her eyes. "Where is that little rat? I want to tear him to pieces!"

"You can't," Remus said simply. "He's escaped again."

"What? Remus, how could you have let him get away?"

"It was the night of the full moon," he said with a bitter, sad smile. "I transformed. There was nothing I could do. Sirius transformed to keep me away from the children, and Peter transformed and escaped." He sighed. "And so he is still out there somewhere, perhaps even more dangerous that he ever was before."

"How so?"

"Now we all know that he's guilty. He knows that he can never come back to us – not after Sirius and I tried to kill him yesterday."

"Why didn't you? How could you have let him live after all that you learned?"

"Harry stopped us."

"Harry? I thought you said he wanted to avenge his parents' deaths!"

Remus smiled. "He is more like his parents than you would believe. He stood there in between Peter and Sirius and I and told us the he couldn't let us kill him. He said that he didn't think that James would want us to become murderers over Peter."

Olivia looked into space for a moment, her tears still falling. Then she looked back at Remus with a sad smile. "He's right, you know. James and Lily would never have wanted you to become murderers over this. They wouldn't have wanted Peter killed."

"I know." He smiled. "I wish you could meet Harry, Liv. You'd just love him."

"I already do," she smiled. She looked away again, then brought her eyes back to Remus. "Where is Sirius now?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he sighed.

He recounted the story of Harry and Hermione saving Sirius with Buckbeak. When he finished talking, Olivia jumped out of her chair and began to pace around the room.

"Liv?" Remus asked.

"How is any of this fair?" she exploded. "We finally find out that Sirius is innocent, but none of us have the chance to talk to him? None of us can see him? None of us can tell him that we're sorry for thinking that he could ever have hurt Lily and James?"

Remus jumped up, and grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "He knows," he said quietly, intensely. "He knows that we're sorry. And he's sorry for not trusting us."

A single tear slid down her cheek. "I want to see him, Remus," she whispered.

"I know," he said, pulling her close. "I know."

And then she began to sob, holding tightly to Remus. He held her just as tightly, trying to help her find some comfort in all of this horrible, yet wonderful, news.

When Olivia was finally able to stop crying, she looked up at Remus with tragic eyes.

"Are you all right?" he asked softly.

"Oh, I'm fantastic," she said wryly. "You've just told me that the man that I was going to marry is innocent of all the crimes I've accused him of for the past thirteen years, but that I'll never be able to see him again. I've never been better."

"It might not be as horrible as that," Remus said. "Once we find Peter and prove Sirius's innocence, he'll be able to come out of hiding and you'll be able to see him again."

She nodded. "You've seen him, Remus. How did he look?"

Remus hesitated. He couldn't tell her the truth. It would break her heart to think of Sirius as anything other than the handsome twenty-two year old that she remembered.

"Remus?"

"Older," he said at last, feeling that he was giving a truthful answer that wouldn't give too much away. "He's aged, Liv, just like we have. Maybe a bit more than us, since he had to endure horrors we'll never know, but he looks older. I still recognized him, though – as soon as I saw him, I knew who he was."

She nodded, and was silent for a moment. "We need to tell Dana all this," she said at last.

"Do you want to do that now?"

"Yes, before the _Prophet_ starts printing something about it," she said. She smiled sadly. "It's time she had some news from us instead of from that horrid paper."

"All right, then," Remus nodded. "Let's go."

They both Disapparated, reappearing in Dana's living room. The first thing that Remus heard was a high-pitched squeal.

"Uncle Remus!"

He grinned, and opened his arms to receive his goddaughter. Dana's daughter Laura, named for Remus's wife, threw herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck. He held her tightly, lifting her off the ground in a bear hug.

"I've missed you!" she exclaimed. "I didn't think you'd be here today! Did you know that I just got home from school yesterday?"

"I did know that," he replied. "Did you have a good year?"

"Oh, yes," she said, pulling back. "I learned so much! Can I show you? Please? At least my new defense spells? I learned to disarm, to do a shield charm, a couple of defensive jinxes –"

"Laura, calm down," Dana laughed, cutting her daughter off. "Let Uncle Remus catch his breath. And you know very well that you're not allowed to do magic away from school."

"But I want to show him my defensive spells," Laura protested. "Please, Mum, let me show him!"

"It's all right, love," Remus said, trying to avert the battle that he knew would be forthcoming. Laura was very stubborn and determined, and he knew she would never stop until she got her way. "I know that you can do them better than anyone else in your class. How about you show me your books, and we'll talk about all the new defensive spells you learned?"

"All right," she said, always easily placated by her godfather. "I'll go find them."

"So," Dana said as her daughter ran off to dig through her school supplies, "what actually brings you two over today? I know you weren't planning to visit us until next week, Remus."

Remus looked at Olivia, who nodded. "We have a lot to talk about, Dana."

"What do you mean?"

"Can we sit down?"

"All right," Dana replied, leading them into the living room. "What's this all about?"

Remus smiled slightly as they all sat down together. "I guess you could say that I have some news that sorts out our past."

"I wasn't aware that our past was so convoluted," Dana smiled.

"You have no idea," Olivia said. "Dana – we got it all wrong."

"Got what all wrong?"

"What happened to Lily and James."

Dana frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Let Remus tell you."

"Remus?" she asked, turning to face him.

He drew a deep breath. "Dana – Peter's alive."

"What?" she gasped. "How can that be? Who told you that? Remus, he's dead, you know he's dead, we went to his memorial –"

"We were wrong," Remus said simply. "We got it all wrong, and we've believed a lie for thirteen years. Sirius was never James and Lily's Secret Keeper, Dana, Peter was. They switched without telling any of us. Only Sirius knew."

"Who told you this?" Dana asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Let me start at the beginning." Remus again told the whole story of taking the Marauders' Map, of following the children with his eyes, of seeing both Peter and Sirius on the map, of catching them in the Shrieking Shack, of the confessions, of the transformations, of the daring escape.

Dana, whose face had grown steadily paler as she had listened to Remus speak, was silent for several moment after he had finished his tale. Olivia looked at her with concern.

"Are you all right, Dana?"

She turned slowly to face Olivia. "Are you?" she asked. "My God, Liv, look at all we put you through for no reason. All that time, all those years, we all believed that Sirius was guilty, that he had fooled us all, that he had completely deceived you – and all that time, he was innocent."

Tears pooled in Olivia's eyes again. "I know," she said. "I know, but it's going to be okay. Remus is right; when Peter's been caught and Sirius's name has been cleared, maybe I can see him again. Maybe he'll forgive me. Maybe we can get to know one another again . . . and maybe we can make up for lost time."

"I hope so, Liv," Dana said, her own tears beginning to spill over. "I really, really hope so." She looked at Remus. "How did Harry take all of this?"

"He's upset, of course," Remus replied. "Imagine finding your godfather only to lose him again! But at least now he knows the truth – and I have a feeling that just that means the world to him."

"And to Sirius," Dana murmured. "He adored Harry. To be forced to spend all that time away from him . . ."

"I think we all know what that feels like," Olivia said. "Harry meant the world to all of us."

"Harry?" asked a new voice. "Harry who?"

They all looked up as Laura came into the room, clutching a stack of books.

"You found your books?" Remus asked, hoping to distract her from her favorite topic. "It certainly took you awhile."

Laura smiled, easily diverted by Remus's question. "They were at the bottom of my trunk. I haven't had time to unpack yet."

"She means she hasn't had the motivation to unpack yet," Dana smiled. "I hope you didn't just throw your clothes all over your room."

Laura rolled her eyes. "Grandma came in when I was looking for my books, and she made me unpack everything right. That's why it took me so long."

"That's all right," Remus smiled. "I'm still here. I wouldn't leave without talking to you."

She grinned. "Can I show you my books now?"

"Absolutely," Remus grinned. He looked at his friends. "Are you both all right?"

"Getting there," Olivia replied.

Dana nodded her agreement. "Laura, take Uncle Remus to the kitchen to show him your books so you can spread out at the table." She looked from her daughter to her oldest friend. "Aunt Olivia and I need to talk."

Laura grabbed Remus by the hand to pull him from his seat, and took him to the kitchen. The sound of their conversation floated back to the living room as Dana looked at Olivia.

"Are you all right?" she asked again.

Olivia smiled. "Do you know how many times I've had to answer that since this happened? Do you want me to say no? Would that make you happy?"

"No," Dana replied. "I just want to make sure that you're going to make it through this."

"Of course I will," Olivia said. "I'm an Auror, Dana. We're strong."

"And they don't feel emotions," Dana said sharply. "Is that what you're doing right now, Liv? Refusing to let yourself feel anything?"

"Of course I'm feeling this!" she exclaimed. "How could I not? Dana, I would give anything – _anything_ – to be able to find Sirius right now! I would give anything to be able to hold him, to touch his face, to tell him that I'm sorry! I would give anything to be able to fill the horrible hole that the dementors have left in his soul."

She paused, and the fire again jumped into her eyes. "And I would give anything to have ten minutes alone with Peter Pettigrew. Believe me, Dana, he wouldn't walk away from that meeting. I would make sure that he paid for everything that he's done to us, for everything that he's put us through. I would make sure that he endured as much pain as I've endured since that night in 1981."


	3. Call to Arms

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long! My parents' computer died, so they've been using my laptop for their internet access, which as meant considerably less time for me to write! I hope this chapter is worth the wait.

Also, just to let you know, I went back to school on Monday, and I have students again on Thursday. So far things aren't too busy for me, but I am teaching two classes I've never had before, so I may have to put a lot of time into planning. We'll see how it goes, but hopefully it won't interfere with updating too much!

This is the point when we enter into the main part of the story. Things will really start to heat up from this chapter on.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Call to Arms

_25 June 1995_

Remus smiled to himself as he put down the last page of his goddaughter's most recent letter. He had received it only that morning; she had written to tell him of her Defense Against the Dark Arts exam and the trip home that had ended her third year at Beauxbatons. Her last line reminded him that he had promised to visit that summer. He smiled wider as he picked up a piece of parchment to respond. He knew she would be thrilled to know that he had already made plans to visit the next month – she would probably be as excited as he was.

He had only advanced so far as to write the date and "Dear Laura" at the top of the page when he heard a loud, staccato knocking at the door. He frowned slightly as he looked at the clock, wondering who would be calling so late at night. He rarely had visitors; visitors who knocked rather that Flooing or Apparating straight into the house were even less common.

The knocking grew louder and more insistent. Still frowning, Remus stood and went to the door, pulling his wand from his robes as he walked. He opened the door cautiously, gripping his wand at his side. The gaunt, underfed face before him broke into a smile as the door swung open.

"Well, it's about time! I was beginning to think you weren't home, and then where would I be?"

Completely shocked, Remus grabbed the door to keep himself on his feet. "Sirius?" he exclaimed.

"Yes, it's me. Would you mind letting me in? I'm afraid that the dementors will find me if I stand out here in the open much longer."

"Of course," Remus said, opening the door all the way and standing aside so that his friend could enter the house. "I'm sorry – I didn't think – Sirius, what are you doing here?"

Sirius laughed, the old barking laugh that Remus remembered from their childhood together. "Carry on like that and you're going to make me feel horribly unwelcome. Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am, but this is completely unexpected," Remus replied, hoping to jar some sense into his friend. "You're hiding from the Ministry, Sirius. Why on earth would you come here?"

"I'm here on Dumbledore's orders, mate."

"Dumbledore's orders?" Remus frowned. "Why would he send you here?"

"Well, you do live in the middle of nowhere. It makes a good place to hide out," Sirius said as he sat down on the couch.

"I doubt that Dumbledore thought this was the perfect hideout," Remus laughed. "Do you have any idea how many times the Ministry has come to search my house? They're well aware that we're old friends. In fact, this is probably one of the _worst_ places for you to be if you want to stay hidden."

Sirius smiled. "All right, so I'm only supposed to be here for a little while. But, Remus, we have important work to do while I'm here."

"Oh?" Remus asked, sitting down in his favorite chair. "Sirius, what on earth is going on? You show up at my door out of nowhere and give me these cryptic answers . . ."

"I'll tell you the whole story," Sirius promised. "But could I have a drink first? It's been a long journey from Hogwarts."

"You were at Hogwarts?" Remus asked as he stood to go to the kitchen.

"I was being quite serious when I said I was here on Dumbledore's orders," Sirius replied. "I left Hogwarts last night, and I've been traveling all day to get here."

"And I suppose you're going to tell me why you came here?" Remus called from the kitchen.

"All in good time," Sirius replied good-naturedly.

Remus reappeared with a tray of tea and sandwiches, which he placed on the coffee table.

"Food, too?" Sirius grinned. "Thanks, Moony."

"Well, at the risk of sounding like my mother, you look thin," Remus replied. "To be perfectly honest, you look awful. When was the last time that you had decent meal?"

Sirius looked at him blankly for a moment, then shrugged. "You probably don't want to know."

He promptly began to inhale the food. Remus watched him for a moment in a mixture of surprise and disgust, then pointed his wand at the plate to make it refill itself.

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said again with a wide grin. "I knew you'd take good care of me."

"Don't mention it," Remus said. "Are you ready to talk now?"

"Getting impatient in our old age, aren't we?"

Remus sighed, knowing that Sirius wouldn't talk until he was good and ready. "Fine, I'll wait like a good boy. How are you?"

"Well, I've been better, that's for sure. Life on the run isn't quite what I expected it to be." He looked pensive for a moment. "Then again, I've been far worse. Compared to the twelve years leading up to this, it's been great."

Remus didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Sirius, I –"

"Stop," Sirius said quickly, knowing what his friend was going to say. "It's not your fault, Remus."

Remus stood up and began pacing the room. "I can't stop thinking that it is," he said, turning to face Sirius.

"You certainly didn't do anything to put me in Azkaban," Sirius replied. An ugly expression came over his face. "That would be Peter's doing."

"But I didn't do anything to get you _out_ of Azkaban, either," Remus protested. "If I just would have thought about it a bit more, maybe I would have realized that there was no way you would ever do that to James and Lily. If I had seen that, I would have known that you didn't kill all those people. If I had taken that to the Ministry . . ."

"Nothing would have changed," Sirius said with a sad smile. He sighed. "We're old friends, Remus. Of course you'd do anything or say anything to try to prove my innocence. They would never take your word over Dumbledore's – and believe me, I've already forgiven both of you for any role you think you had in my incarceration."

Remus nodded shakily. "Thank you.

"Don't mention it. And I don't want to ever hear or anyone else try to take the blame for what happened again."

"Agreed," Remus replied, knowing that the discussion was closed. He cast around for a topic to alter the course of the conversation. "Where have you been this year?"

"Everywhere, it seems. I spent some time in the Canary Islands – I wanted to see if it was really the paradise James and Lily always talked it up to be."

"And?"

"I can see why they loved it so much," he smiled. "It's gorgeous, Remus. You should go sometime."

"Oh, I'll just put that right into my schedule for next week."

"Such sarcasm," Sirius grinned. "Could it be that someone doesn't like the quiet life of a former professor? If that's the case, I think I have the solution for you."

Remus realized his opening. "Sirius, you know that I am thrilled to see you. But, please, tell me why you're risking your freedom to be here."

Sirius sobered at once, and pushed the plate of sandwiches away. "Things are getting scary, Moony."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know that Harry was in the Triwizard Tournament, right?"

Remus smiled. "How could I have missed it? It was all over the papers." He shook his head. "I still can't quite understand how he got in, though. I mean, all the news leading up to the announcement of the champions was about how strict security was going to be, and about the very firm rule that all the contestants had to be over seventeen."

"Yes, that was a problem that had Dumbledore pretty confused, too," Sirius replied. "And, believe me, Harry's been a wreck since all this started."

"You've spoken to him?" Remus asked eagerly. "How is he? He's done fantastically well in the tournament. I've been following it in the _Daily Prophet_. I must say, I've been very impressed with him. I didn't think someone so young could do so well."

"No one did," Sirius acknowledged. "I've been corresponding with him all year – and I spoke to him in person a few times – trying to help him stay alive. He really came through like a star. James would have been really proud of him."

"Yes, he would have," Remus agreed quietly, thinking of his fallen friend.

"I saw him yesterday, after the third task," Sirius added.

"How did he do?" Remus asked. "I looked in the paper today, but it didn't say anything about who had won."

"Well, Harry won, in a manner of speaking," Sirius said.

"What does that mean?"

"He and the other Hogwarts champion, Cedric Diggory, made it to the end of the maze at the same time. They agreed to share the victory, and both grabbed the cup together. But it wasn't just a cup – it was a portkey."

"A portkey?" Remus repeated with a frown. "Where did it take them? Back outside the maze?"

"Way outside the maze," Sirius corrected. "It had been planted there by a Death Eater. It took them to Voldemort."

Remus dropped his teacup, oblivious to the fact that it shattered, spilling hot tea all over the floor. "What?" he whispered. "How is that possible?"

"Which part?" Sirius asked.

"All of it."

"Well, the Death Eater was impersonating Moody. He had kidnapped him, controlled him with the Imperius, and used his hair to create Polyjuice all year."

"Oh, God," Remus murmured. "And that fooled Dumbledore?"

"Yes," Sirius replied. "He didn't know until last night, when the imposter took Harry away from him when he got back to the school."

"Who was it?"

"Barty Crouch."

"Barty Crouch?" Remus yelled. "That man had more Death Eaters captured –"

"Wrong Barty Crouch," Sirius interrupted with a grim smile. "It was his son."

"What?" Remus frowned. "His son died years ago."

"So we thought," Sirius replied. "It was all an elaborate ruse – but it's another story for another time. For now, suffice it to say that he was indeed the Death Eater he was thrown into Azkaban for being."

"Right," Remus agreed. "Tell me about what happened to Harry."

"Well, like I said, Crouch had planted the portkey in the maze. When Harry touched it, it took him and Cedric to the graveyard in Voldemort's father's hometown."

"And you said that Voldemort was there?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean that he has a body again?"

"According to Harry, he didn't have much of a body at first. But he used a very complex spell to restore himself to his body. He used some sort of essence from his father's grave, Harry's blood . . ."

"And what else?" Remus asked, his face twisting as though he felt ill.

"And Peter's right hand."

"Peter? As in Pettigrew?"

"Yes. Apparently, he cut off his right hand for his master. Dropped it into the cauldron Voldemort was using to bring himself back to life."

"At least he can't hold a wand anymore," Remus said harshly.

"Don't be so sure," Sirius said. Concern flickered in his eyes. "Harry said that Voldemort gave him a new hand – a silver hand." He paused. "You'd better stay away from him, Moony. God only knows what he'd do to you with that hand."

"I'll keep my distance," Remus promised. "Is Harry all right? How much of his blood did he take?"

"Just a bit," Sirius said. "He said that Voldemort used Harry's blood to destroy the protection that Lily gave him by dying for him. For the first time since – since the night she died, he was able to touch Harry's skin without horrible pain."

Remus shook his head, but didn't say anything. He wasn't sure he would be able to speak past the lump in his throat.

"Once it was all over, once the potion was complete, Voldemort emerged with his new body – and, Remus, he forced Harry to duel with him."

"What?" Remus exclaimed.

Sirius nodded, his eyes shining with pride. "He made it, Remus. He dueled with Voldemort and made it out alive."

"How did he do it?" Remus asked in awe. "There are so many adult wizards, so many powerful wizards who were defeated by him . . ."

"He was saved by James and Lily again," Sirius said, his eyes suddenly very bright. "He said that his wand connected with Voldemort's, forcing one of them to regurgitate its spells in reverse order –"

"The reverse spell affect?" Remus frowned. "Why did that happen?"

"Their wands are brothers," Sirius explained. "So Dumbledore says. Both of them have phoenix feather cores – and both the feathers came from Fawkes."

"Oh, my," Remus whispered. "So Harry saw the shadows of Voldemort's victims? Of his parents?"

Sirius nodded. "They attacked Voldemort and gave Harry time to run for it." A tear slid down his cheek. "Can you even imagine -?" His voice broke.

"He made it," Remus said fiercely, leaning forward. "He made it, Sirius. He's strong – and he's their son."

Sirius nodded. "Of course he made it," he said. "He's a little bit of both of them – which makes him one of the most powerfully magical people this world will ever see."

Remus nodded. "I am amazed that Voldemort let him get away, though. I would think . . ." He shook his head. "I'm not used to thinking of him working without assistance."

"Well, he wasn't," Sirius said.

"I'm not counting Peter."

"Neither am I," Sirius agreed. "But this is the most important part, Remus. Once Voldemort had his body restored, he summoned his Death Eaters back."

Remus's eyes widened as the full scope of what was happening hit him. "So it's starting again?" he asked. "Everything that we lived through before, everything that we fought so hard to stop – it's all going to happen again?"

"It looks that way," Sirius said grimly. "But it's going to be different this time."

"How so?"

"We know what to expect," Sirius said. "Like you said, Remus, we've fought this evil before. We have at least a general idea of what's likely to happen. And this time we know that it's coming. He's not going to take us by surprise."

Remus nodded. "Has the Ministry been alerted?"

Sirius laughed mirthlessly. "Alerted? Fudge was there when Harry came back! He's heard the whole story, but refuses to believe a word of it."

"What?" Remus yelled. "How could he refuse to believe it?"

"Well, there are two reasons," Sirius said. "First, he's been reading all the stories in the Prophet about Harry – so now he believes he's unbalanced. Second, he's not about to let anything jeopardize his job – and Voldemort coming back on his watch would certainly do that."

Remus dropped his head into his hands. "So he's not going to do anything over some stupid stories and the fear of losing his job?"

"That's about it, yeah."

Remus looked up again. "What can we do? How can we help put a stop to this?"

"That's why Dumbledore sent me here. We're supposed to round up all the old Order members who would still be interested in being a part of the movement. Dumbledore mentioned Mundungus and Mrs. Figg, but I'm sure he won't be disappointed if we come up with anyone else to join up again."

Remus nodded. "Good. We're going to need all the Order members we can find. We'll start on it tomorrow."

"Can't we start tonight?"

"Do you really think that Arabella Figg would appreciate us showing up at her place after ten?"

"All right," Sirius agreed reluctantly. "But we're starting first thing in the morning."

"Of course," Remus agreed, fire jumping into his eyes. "We're not going to let him have a chance to act before we're ready."

* * *

Remus awoke early the next morning. He tried to be quiet as he showered and dressed, not wanting to wake Sirius. He thought of his friend sleeping in his guest room and shook his head. He still couldn't believe that he was really there, in his house. He couldn't believe that after all these years, things were back to the way they had been – to the way they should always have been. Sirius's forgiveness meant so much to Remus – as much, he was sure, as Dumbledore had told him that _his_ forgiveness meant to Sirius. The fact that they now had the chance to rebuild their friendship meant even more.

The guest room door was still closed when Remus left his room. He paused to listen, but couldn't hear any sounds from inside. He had apologized to Sirius for the rather Spartan state of the room the night before, but Sirius had laughed off his concerns. He had assured him that after the places he had slept in the past year, this sparse guest room was quite luxurious. Although they had a lot to do, Remus was content to let Sirius sleep, knowing that it was probably the first time in ages that he was able to sleep without concern about when he awoke.

Remus had finished cooking breakfast when Sirius stumbled downstairs, looking highly reminiscent of the young adult Remus had shared a flat with in London so many years ago. Remus grinned as he looked at his friend's tousled hair, bleary eyes, and bare feet.

"What are you smiling about?" Sirius asked. "It's not even ten o'clock and I'm out of bed!"

At this comment, Remus laughed outright. "Oh, it's true," he laughed. "No matter how much things change, they _do_ stay the same."

"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked.

"It means that I've lived this moment before," Remus grinned. "I had almost forgotten how much you hated to get up in the morning. What brings you out of bed before noon?"

"This," Sirius replied, gesturing to the table. "How could I possibly sleep when I could smell bacon and coffee in the air?" He frowned slightly. "Though, if memory serves, you were never much of a coffee drinker."

"Laura was," Remus said softly. "I always have a cup in the morning now for her – in her memory, I suppose."

Sirius sat down and looked up at Remus. "You know, Remus, when – when everything went crazy and I was sent to Azkaban . . . I know you were still dealing with her death. How are you now?"

Remus smiled sadly. "I'll always miss her," he said simply. "She was my first love – my _only_ love, truth be told. It doesn't hurt like it did then and it doesn't take the joy out of life like it did then, but losing her will always be a part of who I am."

"I wish I could have been there to help you more."

"I had Olivia and Dana – and Dana's Laura. That little girl means the world to me." He smiled. "Well, she's not really a 'little' girl anymore – she's fourteen now."

"Fourteen," Sirius repeated. "You know, I only saw her that one time when Dana brought her to meet all of us. In my mind, she's still a little baby."

"We'll have to fix that," Remus replied. "Now that you're back with me, I'll make sure that she comes over for a visit."

"Is Dana still in France?"

"Yes." He paused. "Olivia's there with her."

Sirius's eyes widened, and his face colored ever so slightly. "Liv moved to France?"

"Yes. She left right after – well, right after you did. Moody let her transfer to the British Auror office in France. She's been living down the street from Dana ever since then."

"What made her do that?"

Remus smiled sadly again. "The same thing that made Dana do it. She lost the love of her life."

Sirius swallowed hard and looked down for a moment. When he looked up again, his eyes were bright. "You know, Remus, in some ways, my life stopped when I went to Azkaban. Like I said, to me, Laura's still a baby – for that matter, so was Harry until I saw him last year. And Liv . . . do you think there's any chance she'd want to see me again?"

"Oh, yes," Remus smiled. "I take it there's a chance you'd want to see _her_ again?"

"You have no idea," Sirius replied.

Remus nodded. "I'll see what can be arranged."

"Thank you, Moony," Sirius said in a hoarse whisper. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," Remus replied. He took a deep breath. "But before we reunite you and Olivia, we need to reunite the Order of the Phoenix."

* * *

"Who's first on the list?" Sirius asked as they prepared to leave to alert their fellow Order members.

"Mrs. Figg," Remus replied. "We're going to Apparate to her street."

"Okay."

"Listen, Sirius, I know she lives right by Harry, but we can't go over there. He can't know what's going on."

Sirius's face twisted slightly. "We should check on him."

"That's what Arabella is supposed to be doing. You know that. She's been keeping an eye on him since the day Dumbledore took him to Petunia. We can't interfere in her mission. You know that she takes Dumbledore's orders as seriously as the rest of us, and if we try to check on him, she's going to think we're interfering – and we don't want her to be upset with us if we're asking her to rejoin the Order."

Sirius sighed. "I know you're right. I know you are. It's just hard to be so close to him yet not talk to him or even just look in on him."

"I know," Remus said softly. "I spent months with him in that school, unable to tell him who I am or how special he is to me. I know this is difficult. But there's no way around it. It's all a game, Sirius; you know that. We just have to play it right."

"Yeah. I know."

"Good. Now, let's Apparate over there – and make sure you transform as soon as your feet hit the pavement."

"Yes, sir," he said good-naturedly.

They both Disapparated. When he opened his eyes again, Remus looked to his right in time to see Sirius transform into his Animagus form. With a grin, Remus patted the side of his leg.

"Come on, let's go," he said, acting for all the world as though Sirius were merely a beloved pet.

Sirius glared at him, but fell into step beside him.

They walked down the street to Mrs. Figg's house. Remus was glad that he had the address with him; even though he had been to her home before, he was not sure he would have been able to distinguish it from the other identical houses in the neighborhood.

"This is it," he said at last. "Come on, let's go see if she's home."

Sirius obediently followed Remus up the walk to the house. Remus knocked on the door and stepped back. After only a moment, he could hear footsteps approaching.

"Who's there?"

He smiled. "It's Remus Lupin, Arabella."

The door was thrown open, and Mrs. Figg looked up at him in amazement. "Remus Lupin!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! Look at you! I can't believe it's really you!"

"It's really me," he grinned.

She flung her arms around him to hug him tightly. "Come in, come in," she said when she had released him. "It's been far too long."

"It has," he agreed. He glanced down at Sirius. "Is it all right if my friend joins us?"

"Well – all right," she said hesitantly.

"He won't bother the cats," Remus assured her.

She nodded, and held the door to let them both in. She led them to the sitting room, where Remus sat down on the couch. Sirius curled up at his feet.

"Can I get you a drink?" Arabella asked.

"No, I'm fine."

"And your dog?"

"Actually, there's something you need to know about him," Remus said. "But you'd better sit down before I tell you."

She took a seat, and looked at him curiously.

"First, have you heard anything about Sirius Black?"

"Not recently," she said. "Last I heard, the Ministry still hadn't found him."

"And I hope they never do," Remus said.

"Look, Remus, I know he's an old friend of yours, but you can't honestly mean that. You know as well as I do what he did!"

"Well, that's sort of what I'm trying to tell you," Remus said slowly. "We've all been wrong about that for a long time."

"About what?"

"Arabella, Sirius didn't kill all those people. Peter Pettigrew did."

"Don't be ridiculous," she said dismissively. "Pettigrew's dead. How could he have killed anyone?"

"He's still alive," Remus said quietly. "Arabella, there are three things I came here for today. One of them is to tell you that Sirius Black is innocent of all the crimes he was accused of."

"Remus, are you sure?" she asked. "How do you know that Pettigrew's alive?"

"I've seen him," Remus said. "I talked to him. It all happened a year ago."

She shook her head. "I can't believe it," she said. "All those years, hiding. . . . What did he mean by doing that?"

"He couldn't let it be known that he had been a Death Eater," Remus said bitterly. "Better to remain dead and let the truth stay that way as well."

She looked at him for a long minute, then nodded. "You've always been honest with me, Remus. If you say it's true, I believe you."

"Well, you don't have to just take my word on all this." He looked down at the dog. "Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at him for a moment, then transformed. Mrs. Figg gasped.

"All that Remus said is true," he said quickly. "I would never hurt you or anyone else, Arabella."

She looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "When they told me what had happened, I was shocked. I never would have picked you for a murderer, Sirius."

"Well, I'm not," he said almost defiantly.

"I'm glad," she said softly. She looked back at Remus. "So, you said you have other things to tell me?"

"Yes," Remus said. "The next two are the reason that Dumbledore sent us here."

"You've seen Dumbledore?"

"I have," Sirius said. "Have you been reading about the Triwizard Tournament?"

"Of course," she smiled. "I've been keeping up with all that Harry does. He won! Did you know? I just saw it today. I couldn't believe how small the article was – everything else about the tournament has gotten far more coverage."

"That's because the Ministry doesn't want anything else about what happened getting out," Sirius said. "It's a long story, but we'll give you the summary. Harry was transported away from Hogwarts when he touched the Triwizard Cup. It had been planted by a Death Eater to take him to a graveyard where he was forced to participate in Voldemort's rebirth."

She screamed, and grabbed her chest. "He's back? You-Know-Who is back?"

"Yes," Sirius said quietly. "Harry witnessed the whole thing."

"But there's more," Remus added. "He's also called his Death Eaters back into service."

"So Dumbledore is calling _us_ back into service," Sirius said. "He wants us to reform the Order of the Phoenix."

"Where do I need to go?" Mrs. Figg asked at once.

"You'd like to come back, then?" Sirius asked.

"Of course," she said. "I worked against him once before; of course I'm going to do it again. I've never stopped believing in Dumbledore. If he wants us back, I'll be there."

"Wonderful," Remus smiled, thankful that she had accepted all their stories without question. "We don't have any details yet, but we'll get them to you as soon as we can."

"I'll be waiting to hear from you."

* * *

"Well, that went well," Sirius said as they left.

"Exceedingly," Remus replied. "You need to transform before someone sees you."

"Yes, sir," Sirius grinned. He transformed, and they walked down the street to the point they had Apparated from.

"Now, this time we're off to Mundungus's house," Remus said. "Transform as soon as we get to his street again."

Sirius transformed back into his human form, and immediately Disapparated. Remus followed suit. They both reappeared in the rather shady neighborhood that Mundungus called home.

"Dung always did choose the nicest neighborhoods, didn't he?" Sirius said as he looked around.

"Transform!" Remus hissed. "A lot of wizards live around here! Anyone could see you!"

Without another word, Sirius transformed into the black dog. He again fell into step with Remus, who led him to Mundungus's house.

After a conversation similar to the one they had had with Arabella Figg, Mundungus was convinced of their story. He, too, agreed to join the Order without question.

"If Dumbledore wants us back, it must be serious," he said solemnly. "Thank you for letting me know. I'll be there whenever he needs me."

"That's what we're counting on," Sirius said. "Thanks, Dung. We knew you'd come back."

"Anything for Dumbledore," Mundungus replied.

"We'll be in touch," Remus said as they rose to leave.

Mundungus walked with them to the door. "I'll be here," he said as they left.

* * *

"Okay, so we know that Figg and Fletcher are in," Sirius said that night as he and Remus ate dinner together. "Anyone else you'd like to talk to about joining?"

Remus looked pensive for a moment. "I think maybe the Weasleys. They're like family to Harry; I'm sure they'd do anything for him."

"Right on both counts," Sirius said. "Molly and the oldest son – Bill, right? – came to Hogwarts to support Harry for the last task of the Triwizard. They believed Dumbledore and Harry in a heartbeat – even if Fudge didn't. They both said they'd do all they can to help."

"Good," Remus said. "They're a large and powerfully magical family – we need as many people like them as we can get."

"Maybe Moody will have some suggestions," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I'm sure he has a few Aurors who would be willing to join – people like Liv and I."

"He should probably talk to Liv," Remus commented. "She could get something going in France."

Sirius shook his head. "I still can't believe she's in France."

"She is for now," Remus said, watching him carefully. "But I'm sure she can be convinced to come over here for a visit . . ."

"Don't tempt me with more," Sirius said, holding up his hands. He sighed. "I don't know if I can stand it."

"I'll talk to her," Remus promised. "I'll arrange something as soon as I can."


	4. An Afternoon in France

A/N: This was not supposed to be a chapter. It was supposed to be one scene, two at most. But the longer I worked on it, the longer it became – and now it's its own chapter. I hope you like it!

**Prongs1:** Um…well…you know I like to stay true to the books…

**SgtPepper592:** I'm so glad you asked about Remus's Patronus! I was afraid that everyone missed it – or maybe they're just on my wavelength. I chose a unicorn because they are described as a pure animal, and I think that Remus is one of the most pure- and good-hearted people in the HP series. Dumbledore describes Harry as "pure of heart" for his ability to remain opposed to the dark arts despite all his access to them and all that he has suffered. I think Remus has gone through a somewhat similar process because of his werewolf status, especially given what we learned in HBP about werewolves believing that wizards owe them something and/or should be destroyed. I think there is something about the unicorn that reflects Remus's inner self. Thanks for asking!

**Patsfan1224:** Yes and yes! I just hope I'll be able to do the inner workings of the Order justice.

**Princess Myra:** Dana and Laura will be as major as their location and Laura's school schedule allow. They're pretty big in this chapter! I hope you like it!

**RaysOfHope:** Have patience! They'll get together again eventually! (Evil grin!)

Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone!

I don't own Harry Potter.

An Afternoon in France

Sirius was bored.

He had been staying with Remus for nearly two weeks. Although he loved being reunited with his old friend, it was tedious to stay in the house all the time. Remus wouldn't let him so much as go outside to care for Buckbeak; he was terrified that Ministry wizards or dementors would find him if he set foot outside the house. Sirius knew that Remus was right in his concern, but that fact didn't stop him from feeling annoyed with the restrictions. It was difficult to watch Remus leave to go somewhere as simple as Diagon Alley while Sirius was forced to remain inside the house.

He had taken to reading the _Daily Prophet_ to amuse himself, but that activity quickly lost its appeal as the paper printed more and more stories that attempted to destroy Harry's character. The paper tended to make him so angry that Remus would now only allow him to see the page dedicated to the crossword puzzle.

Sirius was working on the Sunday edition of the puzzle when Remus came down the stairs. He looked up to see his host wearing his traveling cloak.

"Where are you off to?"

Remus gave him a smile. "To France."

Sirius's eyes rounded into huge saucers. "Really?"

"Yes. I promised Laura I'd come to visit today. Granted, I was supposed to be there for at least a week, but I'm sure the ladies will all understand that I need to come home today once I tell them what's going on here."

"Remus – take me with you."

Remus sighed; he had expected this. "Sirius, you know I can't."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "Just thought I'd try."

"Any messages you'd like to send along?"

Sirius gave him a grin. "None that I'd like for you to deliver."

Remus laughed and shook his head. "I'd rather stay blissfully uninformed, thank you."

Sirius laughed. "That's probably for the best."

"I won't be long," Remus said as he took the Floo powder from the mantle.

"I'll be here," Sirius said a bit glumly.

"See you in a bit," Remus replied with what he hoped was a sympathetic smile.

He flung the Floo powder into the grate and called Dana's address. Then he was swallowed by green flames and faded from view. Sirius turned back to his crossword, knowing that he wouldn't be able to concentrate on it or anything else until Remus came home.

* * *

"Uncle Remus!"

Remus laughed as Laura threw herself into his arms the moment he stepped out of the grate. "Laura, I'm covered his ashes," he protested.

"I don't care!" she replied, clinging to him. "We haven't seen you in forever! Where have you been?"

"I've been doing some work for Professor Dumbledore," he said, hugging her tightly.

"Really? Did he give you your job back, then?"

"No, it's a different job," Remus said slowly.

"Remus!" Dana exclaimed as she came into the kitchen. "I thought I heard Laura talking to someone. She's been waiting for you to get here all morning."

"Hi, Dana," Remus grinned, folding her, too, into an embrace. "Did Olivia make it over?"

"I'm right here," Olivia said as she followed Dana into the kitchen. She hugged Remus tightly. "What's new with you?"

"Quite a bit," Remus said as he pulled away.

"Let's sit down," Dana said. "Laura, can you make us some tea, please?"

"I want to talk to Uncle Remus, too," she protested.

"We'll have a nice, long chat later," Remus promised.

"We do have all week," Laura said brightly.

"Well, sweetheart, I'm not going to be able to stay all week," Remus said slowly. "I actually have to leave tonight."

"What?" she cried, her face falling. "But you always come for a week over the summer!"

"I know, sweetheart, and I wish more than anything that I could stay for a week, but things just aren't working out for that to happen right now." He paused. "But, if your mum and Aunt Olivia agree to it, I thought that maybe all three of you could come to visit me a little later this summer."

"Really?" Laura exclaimed. "Oh, Mum, can we? Please? We hardly ever get to go to England, and I'd love to go visit Uncle Remus! Please?"

"We'll see," Dana said noncommittally. "First you make some tea and let me chat with Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia."

"All right," Laura agreed, considerably more cheerfully now that the offer of a visit to England was on the table.

Dana watched as her daughter reached up to grab a teakettle, then ushered her friends ahead of her out of the kitchen. She turned back to Laura just before following them out the door.

"Remember, Laura, no magic," she cautioned.

"I know," Laura said, making a face.

Dana smiled as she left the kitchen, letting the door fall closed behind her.

"So," Olivia said as Dana joined them in the living room, "Remus, tell us what is so vitally important that you can't stay for any longer than a day this summer."

"The Order of the Phoenix," he replied simply.

Both Olivia and Dana stared at him.

"What?" Olivia finally managed to whisper.

"Dumbledore's calling the Order back into service."

"My God," Dana muttered. She stared off into space for a moment. "I thought we had put all that behind us years ago," she said, still looking away from her friends.

"Remus, what's happened?" Olivia asked, willing herself to remain calm.

Remus drew a deep breath. "You both saw that Harry won the Triwizard, right?"

"It took me some time to find it," Dana admitted. "I couldn't believe how short the story was! They had put an insane amount of coverage on the tournament and him right up to that point."

Remus nodded. "That's because the Ministry doesn't want the _real_ news behind it getting out. Girls, when Harry touched the Triwizard Cup, he was transported to a cemetery in Little Hangleton and forced to participate in Voldemort's rebirth."

"What?" Olivia gasped.

"He's back?" Dana whispered in horror.

"He's back," Remus confirmed.

"How can he be back?" Olivia asked, her face horrified. "I haven't heard anything about it at work – the Aurors should have been among the first to find out about this."

"Oh, God," Dana whispered. "Oh, God, no. Not again. I can't do this again."

"It's not going to be like last time, Dana," Remus said quickly.

"How can you say that?" Dana asked.

"Nothing's the same now," Remus said. "We know about it this time. We've had advance warning of what's coming. As soon as he made it back to Hogwarts, Harry told Dumbledore what had happened – and Dumbledore immediately went into action."

"Didn't he tell the Ministry?" Dana asked. "Olivia's right; she should have been informed. You said that they didn't want the real news getting out . . . What exactly did you mean by that?"

"Oh, Dumbledore told Fudge," Remus said. "But, unfortunately, Fudge doesn't want to believe him or Harry – and so he does not."

"So he's just going about business as usual, letting this madman rise to power all over again?" Olivia shrieked.

"Pretty much," Remus sighed.

"Politicians!" Olivia yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. "Can't they see that some things are more important than immediate popularity?"

"No," Dana said, "they can't. And if you don't stop screaming –"

"Is everything all right?" Laura asked, stepping into the room carrying a tea tray.

"- You're going to scare Laura," Dana finished. She shook her head. "We're fine, sweetheart. Uncle Remus just gave us some surprising news, that's all."

"What kind of news?" she asked, sitting down.

Remus looked at Dana. "You might as well tell her," he said. "I'm sure Dumbledore has told his students by now."

"Oh, all right," Dana sighed, a bit annoyed. "Laura, you remember when I told you about the war that we fought in before you were born?"

Laura nodded seriously. "When Dad died?"

"Yes," Dana sighed. "Well, the man that we were fighting is back."

Laura frowned. "But I thought you said that he died. You said that Harry killed him."

"No, honey, I said that Harry _beat_ him. And that's true. When Voldemort tried to kill Harry, he couldn't. Harry beat him in that battle, and made him – well, not _vanish_, exactly, but go away for years. He lost his body, at any rate. But he found a spell to regenerate his body, and now . . ." She trailed off, and looked at Remus.

"Now he's working on regrouping his followers," Remus said. "But we're bringing our side back together, too, Laura. That's what I've been doing for Professor Dumbledore. I've been helping to reform the Order of the Phoenix."

"You were in that before, weren't you, Mum?"

"Yes," Dana said, "for a little while. Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia were in it, too."

"How did you find all this out, Remus?" Olivia asked before Laura had time to respond.

"Sirius came and found me on Dumbledore's orders," he said.

Olivia's eyes rounded. "You've seen Sirius?"

"He's been staying with me for two weeks."

She jumped up from her chair and began pacing around the room, twisting her hands together. "Can I – no, never mind."

"He wants to see you," Remus said quietly. He looked around at Dana and Laura. "_All_ of you. He was just telling me that he still thinks of Laura as a baby."

"Is that why you want us to come to England?" Dana asked. "To see Sirius?"

"Well, and to see me," he grinned.

"Who's Sirius?" Laura asked.

Remus glanced at Dana. "Keeping her in the dark?"

"Yes," Laura said before Dana could open her mouth. "She never tells me anything! What's going on? Who is this person?"

"Sirius was one of our friends at school," Remus said slowly. "We were all in the Order together. But then, when James and Lily," he paused. "Do you know who James and Lily were?"

"Harry's parents?" Laura asked, frowning as though trying to remember this bit of information.

"Yes, that's right," Remus replied. "Well, when they died, we all thought that Sirius had been their Secret Keeper. We thought that only he knew where to find them, and that the only way that anyone else could find them was for him to tell that person where they were." He paused again. "It's called the Fidelius Charm – the magic they used to do that. It's supposed to hide you."

"We talked about it in Charms," Laura nodded.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Very impressive."

"Laura's in the advanced level of Charms," Dana said with a trace of pride in her voice. "They do things a bit differently than Hogwarts."

Remus nodded. "Okay, so you understand the charm. So, you have to understand that we all thought that Sirius was the Potters' Secret Keeper. When they died, we thought that he had betrayed them. Then we believed that he had killed thirteen other people trying to run from the Ministry and from Voldemort – who we believed to be his master." He sighed. "We were very wrong about all of this for a very long time. We just found out the truth a year ago – that Sirius never did anything that we thought that he had done, and that he had spent twelve years in Azkaban for no reason . . ."

"He was my fiancé," Olivia said in a strangled voice. "We were going to be married, but then –"

"We were all very wrong," Dana said, repeating Remus's words. "We should have known better, but in a situation like that, you just don't know who or what to believe."

"How could you not believe your friend?" Laura asked.

"Because we were in a terrible, horrifying war," Dana said. "Every day, people were showing their true allegiances – and they weren't always the allegiances you believed they had. Someone you thought was an upstanding Auror was suddenly a Death Eater. People you had known your whole live were arrested for torturing Muggles." She shuddered. "You just didn't know who you could trust, and you had to believe the evidence for what it was."

"And in this case, Sirius, James and Lily had all told us that Sirius would be their Secret Keeper," Remus added. "They changed to Peter at the last moment without telling anyone – they wanted to keep it quiet to protect him and James and Lily. Unfortunately, everything sort of backfired and blew up in their faces."

"Quite literally," said Olivia, who was beginning to shake.

Remus looked at her for a moment. "Listen, Liv, if you don't want to see him, you don't have to. I just thought I'd make the suggestion –"

"Of course I want to," she said quickly. "I just – I can't do it right now. Can I have some time to get ready?"

"Of course," Remus replied. "You can have all the time in the world. It's probably better if you don't come until we have a definite headquarters established, anyway."

Olivia nodded, but remained silent.

"Remus, I feel like a lot of pieces are missing in this," Dana said, trying to take the spotlight away from Olivia.

Remus nodded. "Let me tell you the whole story."

The ladies provided him a rapt audience for the next twenty minutes. Both Dana and Olivia looked nauseous as he described the potion that Voldemort used to regenerate his body, but neither interrupted him. They both knew better than to suggest that this story was anything other than the truth. They both knew all that Voldemort was capable of. Laura looked shocked, but Remus knew that she deserved to know the truth of what was happening. With all that the Ministry and the _Prophet_ were doing to discredit Harry's story, getting the truth out was more vital than anything else.

"And so Dumbledore wants to be proactive about this," Remus concluded. "That's why he's calling the Order together quietly. He doesn't want to draw attention to us any more than Voldemort wants to draw attention to himself."

"Are you asking us to rejoin, Remus?" Olivia asked.

"I haven't talked to Dumbledore yet, so I don't know anything for sure," Remus replied. "I'm not sure if he wants to confine things to England right now, or if he's ready to branch out into the rest of Europe."

"Well, when you do, tell him that I'm ready to join again," she said firmly.

"Liv, are you sure?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yes," she said fiercely. "I've fought this evil before and I'm more than ready to do it again. Voldemort robbed us all of far more than he should ever have been allowed to. I want to do all in my power to make sure that this time, things are different."

"I'll tell him," Remus said, smiling at her.

"I'll join, too," Laura said suddenly.

"Laura," Remus began.

"No," Dana said harshly. "No, you most certainly will not."

"Mum, stop being like that!" Laura exclaimed. "I'm not a little girl! I want to help, I want to be a part of this –"

"You don't have a clue what you're saying!" Dana yelled. "Laura, people died every single day fighting against Voldemort last time! You have no idea how dangerous it is, or how much is at stake!"

"You did it!" Laura yelled back, jumping out of her seat. "You joined the Order and you fought him!"

"I was already done with school when I joined," Dana said. "I was far more than fourteen years old."

"Far more," Laura repeated sarcastically. "Mum, you were eighteen. I don't see how four years make such a difference."

"It makes all the difference in the world!" Dana jumped up, and grabbed Laura by her shoulders. "Laura, by the time I joined the Order, one of my best friends and my father had both died. They had both been killed by Death Eaters! Do you have any idea how horrible it is to see the people that you love murdered by these people? Do you think I want to see you go through that? No! I want you to stay as far away from this as you possibly can!"

"Dad died after you had left the Order," Laura said stubbornly. "I don't see how being a member hurt you."

Dana looked as though she would have dearly loved to slap her daughter across the face, but settled for giving her shoulders a little shake. "For once in your life, Laura, consider that I have far more experience than you in dealing with things like this. You have never seen a war. Never! You have no idea what we are standing at the brink of. None! But you will see. I know that Remus said that things will be different this time, but if the Ministry is refusing to admit what is happening, I can't see how it's going to be much better. It's terrifying, Laura, and I don't want you any closer to this thing than you have to be."

"Mum," Laura began.

"No!" Dana yelled. She looked intently into her daughter's face. "I've already lost your father, Laura. I moved here before you were born so that I wouldn't lose you. We've had a good life here. We've been happy. But, most importantly, we've been _safe_. War is not romantic and it's not pretty –" She paused as her voice caught in her throat, and pulled Laura into a tight embrace. "I am not going to lose you, Laura Kathleen. Never."

Laura clung to her mother for a moment, and then released her and shook her head. "I just don't want anyone else to have to grow up listening to stories about what a good man her father was." Tears filled her eyes. "The Death Eaters took away any chance that I ever had of meeting my father. Because of them, I've never even seen his face or heard his voice – not even when I was a baby."

"Don't you see?" Dana exclaimed. "That's exactly why I don't want you out there trying to fight! Children don't have a place in war, Laura."

"I'm going to grow up, Mum. I'm going to be old enough to fight someday."

"You will _always_ be my child, Laura," Dana said fiercely. "_Always_. And if I have anything to say about it, you will not ever have to fight in this war."

"Are you going to fight, then?" she asked defiantly. "You won't let me help, but will you?"

"We're not asking her to, Laura. We're not asking her any more than we're asking you." Remus said gently. He smiled sadly. "Your mother is right. You're too young. Hopefully, this will all be behind us by the time you're old enough to seriously consider joining the Order."

"Let us fight for now, Laura," Olivia added. "This is our war. You'll have plenty of battles of your own ahead of you."

"Fine," Laura said at last. "I won't try to join the Order. But I still want to help."

"The biggest way that you can help us is by believing all that I've told you today," Remus said.

"Of course I believe you," she said in confusion. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Quite a few people don't," Remus replied. "There are many people out there who share Fudge's opinion that Harry and Dumbledore are just trying to cause problems. According to Sirius, who was there when Dumbledore told Fudge what had happened in the cemetery, Fudge thinks that Dumbledore is trying to do something to destabilize the wizarding world."

"But why would he think that?" Laura frowned.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Remus shrugged. "But the important thing is that he chooses not to believe what is happening. Many others agree. They don't want to see anything happen to take us back to the place we were before Harry defeated Voldemort fourteen years ago. And so, my little Laura, I want you to believe me – and to stand behind that belief."

"I will," she promised.

"I'm not asking you to start handing out informational packets about Voldemort's rebirth," Remus cautioned. "You keep yourself out of trouble first and foremost. I'm just asking you to be careful and to take care of yourself. And also to keep in touch with me so that I know you're all right."

"I will," she promised again.

Remus smiled, and touched her cheek. "Good girl. I knew I could count on you. If you went to Hogwarts, you'd be a Gryffindor just like the rest of us."

Olivia rose from her seat, and walked out of the room. Remus and Dana looked at one another as they heard the back door open and close.

"I'll go," Dana said, starting to rise from her own seat.

"No, let me," Remus said, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "I've spent the past two weeks with him. I can answer her questions."

Dana put her hand over his. "Just be careful with her."

"I always am."

She nodded, and released his hand. Remus smiled at her, then followed Olivia's path into the kitchen.

He paused at the door, and looked out the window at her. She was standing facing the setting sun, her face bathed in its light. From this angle, Remus couldn't make out her expression, but thought that he could see tears glistening on her cheeks. He drew a deep breath, then went outside.

"You didn't have to follow me," she said without turning as he approached. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"But you don't need to," Remus replied. "I want to help you."

"Doesn't that ever get to you?" Olivia asked.

"What?"

"Always being the one to help everyone? Don't you ever need to help yourself, Remus?"

"I know that I have you to help me," he replied evenly.

She turned to look at him, revealing her tear-stained cheeks. "But when was the last time that you took time for yourself? When was the last time that you weren't worrying about someone else? Don't you ever put yourself first?"

"Do you think that if you attack me long enough I won't ask you why you left?"

"You know very well why I left," she said, turning away again.

"You want to know as much about him as you can, don't you?"

A tear slid down her cheek. "Yes," she whispered.

"He's okay, Liv," Remus said softly. "He's scarred by what he's been though, of course. He's not exactly the same Sirius he always was, but in many ways, he still is."

"It's been a long time, Remus," Olivia whispered. "We've all changed. I've changed. You've changed. I wouldn't expect him to still be the same person."

"He still cares about you," Remus continued.

She turned to look at him again. "Does he really?"

"He really does," Remus smiled. "He wanted to come with me to see you today."

She turned away again. "I'm glad you didn't let him."

"Really?"

"I told you before, Remus. I'm not ready. Not yet."

He nodded. "Like I said, Liv, I know he'll wait for you."

Once again, she turned a tear-streaked face to look into his. "I've waited for him," she said quietly.

Unsure of how to respond, Remus remained silent.

"All these years, I've been waiting for him," she continued, almost to herself. "I never realized it, and I never stopped to think about it, but I have been. I've dated other men; you know that. But I never let anyone get as close as he was." She closed her eyes, then opened them again and continued in a whisper. "I never let any one of them love me. I never let myself love any one of them."

Remus knew that there were no appropriate words. He stepped closer, and pulled her into an embrace. She clung to him, trying desperately not to cry.

"I want to see him again, Remus," she whispered.

"I know you do," he said against her hair.

"Will you tell him that for me?" She pulled away to look into his eyes. "Will you tell him that I want to see him, but that I'm just not ready?"

"Yes."

"But be careful about it – don't hurt him."

"I won't."

"And you'll tell me what he says?"

"Of course."

She hugged him again. "You are the most wonderful friend I could ever ask for."

Remus hugged her silently, thinking of what she had said about his tendency to give rather than to receive support. She obviously appreciated the friendship that he offered. Why, then, would she attack the only way he knew to be a friend?

He decided that she had spoken in fear, and that she had not meant to hurt him. He pushed it all aside, and took her hand.

"Are you ready to go back inside?"

"Yes," she smiled.

They walked back into the house together, and were immediately greeted by Dana.

"Remus, this just came for you," she said, holding up a letter.

Remus took the envelope, instantly recognizing the writing. "It's from Dumbledore."

"Open it!" Olivia urged.

He scanned the short missive, then looked up at his friends. "He says he'll be over tomorrow morning to discuss our plans."

"You'd better go home," Dana said at once. "I'm sure that you and Sirius want to get everything together for your meeting."

Remus nodded. "My offer still stands. I would love to have all three of you come to visit later this summer."

"We will," Dana promised. "Liv and I will work out our schedules, and we'll pick some time to visit."

"Good." Remus kissed both of their cheeks. "Where's Laura?"

"Right here," Laura said as she came into the kitchen.

"I need to leave, honey," he said, reaching out to hug her.

"I'll miss you," she said, hugging him tightly.

"I'll miss you even more," he said. He kissed her cheek. "You stay out of trouble."

She grinned with a twinkle in her eye. "I always do, Uncle Remus."

He smiled, and hugged her again. "I'll see you all soon, right?"

"Right," Dana replied, pulling Laura close to her side. "Tell Sirius hello for me."

"I will."

"And you'll remember . . .?" Olivia asked.

"I will," Remus said again, looking deeply into her eyes. "I'll see you all soon."

And, spinning on the spot, he was gone.


	5. The Old Crowd

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**Drigpawz:** The jumping through time has stopped, I promise! As for the ring . . . keep reading! (evil grin)

**OliviaAlexander:** I wish you could have seen my reaction when I first read your screen name! I was so excited, and so incredibly touched! You are the best! Now, about your question – I'm planning to go through Harry's sixth year with this story.

**LinwëTook:** Keep reading! Sorry, but I can't give it all away!

**Sweetness0984: **Yeah, I miss James and Lily, too! They were so much fun to write, and I am totally in love with both of their characters. Well, you already know that I cried when they died. Anyway, about Harry and Laura . . . as this story only goes through book 6, it might be tough for them to get married and have 6 kids, but I'll see what I can do! Haha.

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Old Crowd

Sirius jumped out of his seat as Remus Apparated into the living room. His forgotten newspaper lay on the floor next to him; he had abandoned it hours ago.

"Finally!" he exclaimed. "Tell me everything! How are they? Did Liv say anything about when she could come to visit?"

"Have you gotten any owls?" Remus asked rather than answering his friend's questions.

"Any owls?" Sirius repeated with a frown. "No. Should I have?"

"I got a letter from Dumbledore," Remus said, pulling the parchment out of his cloak. "It found me in France. I guess he only sent one because he figured we'd be together."

Sirius nodded. "That makes sense. What did he say?"

"He's coming to visit tomorrow morning," Remus replied. "He wants to discuss the Order with us."

"Good," Sirius said. "It's time to get this into action. I can't believe we've waited this long before starting."

"I think he was waiting to see if Fudge would change his mind," Remus said thoughtfully. "Don't you think it would be better for us to act with the cooperation of the Ministry?"

"I think waiting for the Ministry is a waste of time," Sirius replied evenly. "They've never been good in a crisis situation. If Lily hadn't sacrificed herself for Harry, enabling him to defeat Voldemort, I'm willing to bet that the first war would still be raging now. They didn't know how to stop him all those years ago, and they still don't today."

"That's probably true," Remus sighed. "But we'll be able to start on everything tomorrow morning. This time, things will be different."

"I hope so," Sirius said earnestly. "I hope it doesn't come down to a battle between Harry and Voldemort again. He's just a kid, Remus. He doesn't deserve this."

"None of Voldemort's victims deserved to fight him or to die," Remus said quietly. "You know that I would never willingly put Harry into battle with Voldemort, but the fact remains that he has escaped him several times already. I'm confident that he can win again if he must."

"I'm sure that he can," Sirius replied. "He's James and Lily's son. With genetics like his, I know he has the power, the strength, and the nerve to battle Voldemort. I just hope he doesn't have to."

"So do I." Remus shivered involuntarily. "Like you said, he's just a child."

"Not that he wants to be told that, I'm sure," Sirius grinned.

Remus smiled. "No, I suppose not. I'm sure that he considers himself quite grown up by now. He _is_ nearly fifteen."

Sirius laughed, then fell silent. After a moment's stillness, he looked at Remus hopefully. "Will you tell me about your trip to France now?"

Remus smiled, and sat down across from Sirius. "The ladies all say hello."

Sirius grinned. "How are they?"

"Laura's highly disappointed that I had to come home. But, like I said, once I explained what I was coming home to, she understood."

"You told her everything?"

"Pretty much. I didn't tell her enough to scare her, but Dana still wasn't happy with me. She wants to keep her innocent of everything that's going on in the outside world."

"You can't blame her for that. She's lost a lot to Voldemort."

Remus nodded. "She was terrified when I told them that he's back."

"Dana or Laura?"

"Dana." He smiled, pride shining in his eyes. "Laura was ready to go to battle with the Order."

"What?" Sirius said quickly. "She wants to join?"

"Of course we told her that she's too young," Remus clarified. "But she was very insistent. She said she wants to save other children from growing up without their fathers the way she grew up without hers."

"I can't even imagine," Sirius sighed. "I know that my father didn't win any Parent of the Year awards, but at least I knew him. And Aidan was a great man – I know he would have been a brilliant father to Laura. It's horrible that she was robbed of that relationship."

A far-away look came over Remus's face. "You know, when I first lost my Laura, one of my greatest sorrows was that I never got to have children. I had always wanted to be a father. One of the things that Laura and I were most looking forward to about being married was starting a family. When she died, so did that dream.

"But Dana was the one who made me see that my child, had Laura and I had one before she died, would have been scarred by the loss of his or her mother. She told me how terrified she was that her baby would suffer terribly because she would never know her father."

"From what you've said, Laura seems as though she's doing very well."

"Oh, she is," Remus agreed quickly. "She's a great student, she has quite a few friends, and she's a sweetheart. But the real reason that she was fighting Dana about joining the Order stems from the fact that she doesn't have Aidan. She sees Voldemort as the one who is responsible for her father's death –"

"Which he is," Sirius interrupted.

"- And she wants to make sure that he can't do the same thing to anyone else." He shook his head with a smile. "You'd love her, Sirius. She's a Gryffindor at heart." He smiled sadly. "When she was trying to convince us to let her join the Order today, she reminded me of all of us when we got back to school after Christmas in seventh year. Do you remember?"

"Kathleen had just been killed," Sirius said, all traces of his smile fading. "We were horrified. Heartbroken. Enraged."

"We wanted to do something – _anything_ – to stop the Death Eaters," Remus said. "That was when Dumbledore first told us about the Order."

"And we all said we'd join." An ugly, angry expression twisted Sirius's features. "Do you think Peter was considering his next move even then? Do you think he was already planning to join the Death Eaters? Do you think he knew that he'd end up killing James and Lily?"

"I don't think Peter ever thought that far ahead," Remus said sadly.

"The rest of us were ready to give our lives for one another."

"Yes," Remus agreed quietly, "we were. And, from what I can see, we still are."

"Of course," Sirius replied without hesitation.

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment. "Actually . . . I remember thinking that Peter was the most hesitant of all of us about joining."

Sirius looked surprised. "You remember that?"

"Yes. I thought it was odd, because he had lost so much more than the rest of us at that point. He was the one who kept asking if joining was a really good idea. He was the one who thought that there might be a better way."

"My God, you're right," Sirius whispered. "I do remember that. I remember thinking that he was just unhinged by Kathleen's death, but do you think . . .?"

"It's too late now," Remus said sadly. "We can sit here all night and talk about the signs we missed, but it's certainly not going to make us feel any better. We were still in school when all this started, Sirius. It's not our fault that we didn't see what Peter was thinking."

"But we were his best friends," Sirius said angrily. "If anyone should have seen it, it should have been us."

"His mother didn't see it, either," Remus said quietly. "We can't take the blame for what happened. It was too long ago. There's not a thing we can do now."

Sirius looked away for a moment, trying to find a way to change the subject. He had to get his thoughts away from Pettigrew or he was sure he'd start smashing Remus's few possessions in a blind rage. "You said that Dana was terrified and that Laura was ready to fight. What about Liv?"

"She was ready to go to battle, too," Remus replied. "She said to tell Dumbledore that she wants to join the Order again – and she said to tell you that she wants to see you."

"You waited long enough to tell me that little piece of information!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. "When is she coming?"

"She's not – not yet, anyway."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, sitting down flatly.

Remus hesitated, unsure of how to tell his friend what Olivia had said.

"Just tell me, Moony," Sirius sighed. "Is she married? Is that the problem?"

"Oh, no, not at all!" Remus said quickly. "She actually said –" He stopped, knowing that he couldn't reveal all that Olivia had said to him about the depth of her feelings for Sirius. "Well, she has dated other men since you've been in Azkaban, but I don't think she was ever really serious with any of them. I know she was never engaged. She never lived with any of them."

Sirius nodded his approval. "But?" he prompted.

Remus sighed. "She said she isn't ready to see you, Sirius."

"Not ready?" he yelled. "I haven't seen her in fourteen years! How much more time does she need to be _ready_?"

"For nearly thirteen of those years, she believed, as I did, that you had betrayed James and Lily. She believed that you had killed Peter and twelve innocent Muggles. She believed that you were Voldemort's most trusted Death Eater."

"And she's had two years to realize that everything you've said is rubbish," Sirius shot back. "You've forgiven me, Remus. Why can't she?"

"She's forgiven _you_," Remus said quietly. "But I'm not sure that she's forgiven herself."

"For what?"

"For thinking that you were capable of such betrayal, such murder, such a horrifying alliance. She had promised to marry you, Sirius. She was planning to spend the rest of her life with you. Then, after one conversation with Dumbledore, she lost all her faith and trust in you. Years later, after one conversation with me, she realized that she should never have stopped believing in you. She's thinking of all the time she could have had, but that was lost. She's thinking that she should have done something to change what happened."

"She told you all that?"

"No, but it's fairly obvious." He smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that I certainly understand a lot of what she's feeling."

"We've been over this," Sirius said, obviously annoyed. "You know that I don't blame you or her, and that there's nothing either of you could have done to change what happened. The past is the past. It can't be altered."

"I know," Remus sighed. "She's just mixed up right now, Sirius. She needs some time to sort herself out. But she will come to see you. She promised that much. Dana and Laura are planning to come, too."

"Did she give you any idea at all of when she might come?"

"I told her to wait until we had a permanent headquarters established. That way maybe she can stay there and we'll know that she'll be safe."

"Good idea," Sirius said. "I wonder what we can use as our headquarters?"

Remus shrugged. "Something far away from Hogwarts. We don't want the kids getting mixed up in this."

"Yeah, definitely," Sirius said slowly. Then his eyes lit up. "Remus! I know the perfect place!"

"Where?"

"My parents' house!"

"What?"

"We can use my parents' house!" he said again in excitement. "They both died while I was in Azkaban, and the house always passes to the oldest male heir – that would be me! It's mine now, and I can do whatever I want with it."

"You're sure this is what you want to do?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't have any other use for it. God knows I don't want to actually _live_ in it again."

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I can imagine that."

"It's the perfect place," Sirius said enthusiastically. "I can't wait to tell Dumbledore."

"Just don't make up your mind too quickly," Remus cautioned. "At least think about it overnight. You won't be able to tell Dumbledore about it until tomorrow, in any case."

"All right," Sirius agreed good-naturedly. "I promise, no snap decisions."

"Good," Remus said. "We'll worry about everything tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Sirius repeated. "You know, I know it seems like it's been a long time since Dumbledore sent me here to regroup the Order, but it really hasn't been all that long at all, has it?"

"No, not really," Remus said slowly. "Sirius . . . are you sure we've done enough?"

"What more could we have done?"

"I don't know. It just seems like all we've done was to track down Arabella and Mundungus – and that wasn't very hard to do."

"We got them both to agree to join again," Sirius said. "That's what Dumbledore wanted. He probably thought it would be difficult to convince them that Voldemort is back."

"I hope so," Remus said nervously. "I just hope he's not disappointed."

"He won't be," Sirius said confidently. "You wait. Everything will be fine."

* * *

Remus awoke very early the next morning, already nervous about the upcoming meeting with Dumbledore. He knew that he and Sirius had done their best to contact old Order members; he just hoped the Dumbledore would think that they had done enough. He pulled himself out of bed, knowing that he had to face what was coming.

When he walked out of the bathroom after showering, he could hear movement from Sirius's room. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Despite Sirius's bold words the night before, it was now apparent that Remus wasn't the only one who was apprehensive about their plans for the morning.

Sirius came into the kitchen as Remus was putting the finishing touches on breakfast. One look into his face told Remus that Sirius was just as anxious as he was. They barely spoke as they took their seats and picked at their food. Though neither acknowledged it aloud, they both knew that they were far too nervous to eat.

After making an attempt at eating, they cleaned up the kitchen. Remus had just used his wand to put the last of the dishes away when a knock sounded on the door.

"That must be him," he said nervously.

"I suppose so," Sirius replied. "I'll just go wait in the living room."

Remus nodded wordlessly, and went to the front door to admit his guest.

"Remus," Dumbledore said with a cheerful smile when Remus opened the door. "I hope you've been well?"

"Yes, sir," Remus replied. He couldn't help but smile back at the headmaster as he opened the door wider. "Please, come in."

"Thank you. I trust that Sirius is still with you?"

"Yes, he's right in the living room," Remus said as he led the way through his small house.

"Excellent," Dumbledore said as they entered the living room. "Sirius, hello."

"Hello," Sirius said, springing to his feet.

"How have you enjoyed spending your time in one place?"

"It's taken some getting used to, to be honest," Sirius said. "But it's been great to stay with Remus."

"I thought that the arrangement would work out," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"It's been good to get all the news on a regular basis, too," Sirius added. "I had a harder time keeping up with the _Prophet's_ version of events while I was on the run."

"The _Prophet_ is often wrong in what it prints," Dumbledore commented.

"But it's good to know what the public thinks."

"I couldn't agree more," Dumbledore said, reaching into his cloak and pulling out a long, thin box, which he offered to the younger man. "This is for you, Sirius. I've brought you something that I think you'll find most useful."

Sirius took the box with a slight frown. "What is it?"

"Open it," Dumbledore said with a smile.

Sirius took the top off the box and gasped. "You've brought me a wand?"

"That's right. Why don't you make sure it will be appropriate for you?"

Sirius lifted the thin strip of wood from the box, shivering as it grew warm under his fingers. An expression of ecstasy came over his face as he waved it, transfiguring one of the pillows on the sofa into a kitten.

Dumbledore beamed. "Excellent! I told Ollivander to copy your old wand specifications as closely as he could. I see that he's had great success."

"Indeed," Sirius agreed, turning the kitten back into a pillow. "Professor, I don't know how to thank you. At least let me pay you for this."

"Don't be ridiculous," Dumbledore said with a wave of his hand. "Consider it a gift to welcome you back into the wizarding world and the Order."

The atmosphere of the room changed with his final words. Looking around, Dumbledore caught the nervous expressions on his companions' faces.

"Please, be seated," Remus said quickly. "Would you like some tea before we begin?"

"That would be lovely," Dumbledore said.

Remus waved his own wand to conjure tea things, letting the tray carrying them settle onto the coffee table. He poured three cups of tea, which he passed around to Dumbledore and Sirius before taking his own.

"How has your work gone thus far?" Dumbledore asked as he raised his glass to his lips.

"Both Arabella Figg and Mundungus Fletcher were very eager to join again," Remus said.

"They're both awaiting your orders," Sirius added.

"They will receive them soon," Dumbledore stated. "Now that the students are home, we need to put Harry under surveillance. He's in more danger than even he realizes."

"But I thought he had protection while he was with his aunt and uncle?" Remus frowned.

"He does," Dumbledore agreed. "Their house has more magical protection on it than any building except Hogwarts. But if he leaves the house, he is far more exposed."

"Does he know that?" Sirius asked.

"No," Dumbledore replied. "His aunt does, though. I sent a letter to Petunia before the students left Hogwarts to explain things to her."

"She knows about Voldemort, then?" Sirius asked, his eyes wide.

"No," Dumbledore said. "I merely told her that Harry is in danger and reminded her of the protection he has while in her care."

Remus nodded. "So you want Arabella and Mundungus to keep an eye on him?"

"Yes. Arabella has been watching over him for me for years; I know that she will be equal to the task. However, as you know, she cannot use magic to defend him should the need arise. For this reason, I want Mundungus to be on the scene as well." He smiled. "Despite the oddities of his character, I know him to be a very capable wizard; I am certain that he could defend Harry and alert the rest of us should something happen."

"Do you expect something to happen?" Sirius asked tensely.

"We must be prepared for anything," Dumbledore said vaguely. Seeing the worried expression on Sirius's face, he smiled reassuringly. "I do not expect anything in particular. But the fact remains that Harry defeated Voldemort in a duel in front of all of his Death Eaters. I cannot expect that Voldemort will not attempt to retaliate. He has wanted to destroy Harry since the day he was born, and I am certain that he will stop at nothing until he achieves it. He showed how far he will go only two weeks ago; he took Harry from Hogwarts while I stood watch."

"So you think he will try to take him from his uncle's house?" Remus asked.

"I know that he would be foolish to attempt to do so. He knows this as well. However, if he is angry enough, he may not think of the potential consequences of his actions."

Sirius shook his head. "We need to get him out of that house."

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed, "but where will we take him? He would not be any safer here than he is there."

"Oh!" Sirius said, sitting up straighter. "Have you decided on a place to use as headquarters for the Order, sir?"

"Not yet," Dumbledore replied. "I am considering several options, but they all have downfalls that tend to outweigh their advantages."

"In that case, I'd like to offer you my parents' house to use as headquarters."

"Your parents' house?" Dumbledore repeated.

"Yes, sir. Number twelve, Grimmauld Place."

"It is not in use right now?"

"My parents have both died and, according to family tradition, it should have passed into my possession."

"And you are willing to give it over to us?"

"I have no love for the place," Sirius said with a shrug. "It represents all that my family stood for, and is a reminder of a childhood I'd rather forget. I'm sure that it will be of far more use to you than it ever will be to me."

"I'll look into it," Dumbledore promised. "I assume that you'd like to come with me?"

"Yes," Sirius replied. "I know most of the charms that were used to conceal it, and I should be able to get past them." He winced. "I'll also need to convince Kreacher to let you in."

"Kreacher?" Dumbledore repeated.

"The house-elf," Sirius clarified. He scowled. "He's an evil little thing, but if I tell him to keep his silence about the Order, he'll have no choice."

"Very true," Dumbledore nodded. "When would you like to go check over the house?"

"Anytime you'd like."

"Well, then," Dumbledore said, standing to his feet, "there is no time like the present. Remus, would you like to join us as well?"

"Of course," Remus said, standing up.

"Then let us be off," Dumbledore said with a smile. "To number twelve, Grimmauld Place!"

* * *

It took several moments for Sirius to break through all the protective charms on his parents' house. With each new barrier that he encountered, he became more disgusted.

"They really didn't trust anyone," he said as he was finally able to turn the knob to enter the house. He continued to talk as he stepped over the threshold. "There are even more Muggle-repelling charms. They weren't ever about to let anyone who wasn't a pure-blood enter their house."

"_You think you can come back here, do you? Out! Out of my house, you blood traitor!_"

Remus gasped. "What is that?"

"Mother?" Sirius exclaimed in shock, looking around wildly. "How – why – what?"

"_You are not welcome! Be gone! Take your half-breed friend and leave at once!_"

"Damn her!" he yelled as his eyes fell on the portrait that was screaming at him. He used his new wand to stun the painting, which instantly froze in place. "Well, that will have to be the first thing we get rid of."

"I had forgotten how loudly she could scream," Dumbledore said with a hint of a smile.

"You knew her?" Sirius asked.

"Only as a student," Dumbledore replied. "She was just as vocal then, let me assure you."

Sirius smiled grimly. "Well, I'll make sure she can't scream much longer." He pulled the curtains closed over her portrait. "Come on, let me show you the rest of the house."

Just as they were about to start walking down the hall, a small, filthy body sprang out of the doorway to the left. Remus started, but Sirius's expression darkened.

"Kreacher," he said without emotion. "Do you remember me?"

"Master Sirius?" the house-elf asked, his eyes wide. "You have dared to return?"

"I have," Sirius replied evenly. He looked around at the thick cobwebs and several inches of dust that seemed to coat every surface. "You have dared to let the house fall into disrepair like this?"

"I have taken care of the house according to my mistress's commands," Kreacher said stiffly.

"Your mistress has been dead for years," Sirius said dismissively. "I'm home now, and you will obey my commands."

Kreacher gave him a look of deep loathing. "He breaks his mother's heart, then comes home demanding to be obeyed. Such . . . _bravery_."

Sirius rolled his eyes at the taunt his parents had thrown at him at every opportunity after he had been Sorted into Gryffindor. "You need to get some of your own material, Kreacher," he said. He turned to his two companions. "Kreacher, these are my friends. You are to treat them with respect."

"Yes, Master," Kreacher said a bit sarcastically, sinking into a low bow.

"Oh, get up," Sirius said with annoyance. "And stay out of our way while we go over the house."

They wandered through the massive house slowly, discussing its potential as the central hub of the Order's activity. Dumbledore was pleased to see the number of rooms; he said that it would be conducive to meetings of various groups, as well as provide ample space for members who wanted to stay close to the center of activity. Remus agreed with Dumbledore, but couldn't help noticing that Sirius's expression grew darker with each new room they entered.

"Are you all right?" he asked in a low tone as Dumbledore explored the kitchen.

"No," Sirius said bluntly. "Being back here . . . seeing my mum and Kreacher . . . I didn't ever want to have to think about that part of my life again."

"We can take down the painting of your mother . . ."

"It's not just that," he sighed. "Remus, I had somehow managed to forget just how obsessed my parents were with the dark arts. Have you seen all the dark artifacts they have?"

"We can take care of those, too. We'll do a thorough purge of the house."

"I'd rather not look at them long enough to get rid of them."

"Sirius, listen," Remus said in a low voice. "You were the one who suggested this house for our headquarters. You were incredibly excited about giving it over to Dumbledore. Now that we're here, I have to agree that it would be prefect. Everything that Dumbledore has said about the size and number of rooms is true. Besides that, with all the protective spells it already has on it, we may not have to do all that much work to conceal it. And who would even think to look for it? No one will suspect that you would go back to your parents' home to hide from the Ministry, and everyone knows that it's your house now – well, everyone who matters, anyway."

"Is there a point in there somewhere?"

"The point is that you were right. This house is perfect for our headquarters. And that means that you're going to be spending a lot of time here in the future. So you either need to get used to that idea or find a better place for us to use."

Sirius sighed. "With such options, how could I choose?"

Dumbledore came back to join them, beaming. "Sirius, you are right," he said. "This will do for our headquarters quite nicely. We will need to give it a very thorough cleaning, of course, but that can be handled as time allows. We have more important work to attend to first."

"Such as?" Remus asked.

"We need to call our old members into service," Dumbledore said. "And we need to make sure that this building is Unplottable and protected by the Fidelius Charm, in addition to strengthening all the protective charms that are already in place."

"Sounds like a lot of work," Sirius said with a ghost of a grin.

"But it is for the best of causes."

* * *

The next day, Dumbledore called the members of the original Order of the Phoenix to a meeting at Hogwarts. Remus and Sirius Apparated to a point outside of Hogsmeade, where Sirius transformed into his Animagus form to walk up to the castle with Remus.

By the time they arrived at Dumbledore's office, only McGonagall and Snape had arrived. They were talking quietly as Remus led the way into the room.

"Remus!" Professor McGonagall stood to greet him. "How have you been? I've been thinking about you all year – I had been hoping that you would be back to teach Defense again."

Remus smiled. "Haven't you heard, Professor? The job is cursed."

She waved her hand dismissively. "If that were true, you'd have had some horrible or fatal experience like your predecessors."

Remus's eyes slid past her to look at Snape, who was looking at him as though he could only dream that Remus had died like Professor Quirrell or lost his mind like Gilderoy Lockhart. Not wanting to delay the moment to the point of awkwardness, he arranged his face into a smile.

"Hello, Severus."

"Lupin," Snape said with a sneer.

Dumbledore came in. He beamed when he saw Remus standing next to Sirius, who was still in Animagus form.

"Remus, welcome!" he said. "And, Sirius, if you could transform . . ."

Sirius immediately transformed, becoming a man before their eyes. McGonagall nodded as though she had been expecting this, but Snape's eyes narrowed into a loathing glare.

"We're still awaiting the others," Dumbledore said. "We have quite a bit to discuss tonight; I hope they will be prompt."

"Will Aberforth be joining us?" McGonagall asked.

"On a Friday night?" Dumbledore smiled. "Perish the thought! He is eager to do all that he can for the Order, however, and has assured me that he will arrange his work schedule so that he can attend our future meetings."

The door to Dumbledore's office opened, and Mundungus came in, leading Mrs. Figg. They both smiled as they greeted the members who were already assembled.

"How has Harry been?" Sirius asked Mrs. Figg before she even had a chance to sit down.

"Still shell-shocked, from what I can see," she sighed. "The poor thing. He always looks so miserable. I had him over for tea two days ago, but I think that might have scared him more than anything else." She smiled sadly. "I'm afraid I couldn't be very nice to him when he was little. If Vernon and Petunia had thought that I was nice to him, they never would have let me babysit. Goodness knows they've done their best to make sure he doesn't ever have fun. Unfortunately, that means that he doesn't exactly look at me as someone he can trust. Drop him a line, Sirius. I think it might bring up his morale."

"I will," Sirius promised. "I wish I could see him."

"All in good time," Dumbledore said as his office door opened again, this time admitting Dedalus Diggle and Sturgis Podmore.

Both Diggle and Podmore checked on the spot at the sight of Sirius sitting among the Order members. They exchanged a look, then Dedalus stepped forward.

"So, it's true, then? What Dumbledore said? You were framed?"

"That's one way to put it," Sirius said wryly.

Diggle extended his hand. "I'm sorry for believing that you could have done such a thing."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said uncomfortably, shaking both men's hands. "It's over now, and we have far more important things to worry about."

Emmeline Vance and Elphias Doge entered next, both sharing similar moments with Sirius. He was feeling thoroughly uncomfortable with the entire situation, but it helped him to see the sense in what Remus had said about Olivia not being able to forgive herself. If these people who he had counted more as colleagues than as friends harbored such guilt over his stay in Azkaban, how must his once-fiancée feel?

The door opened for the last time, and Mad-Eye Moody stepped into the room. Sirius started at his first sight of his former supervisor. The Moody he remembered had the same scarred face, but had not sported a magical eye.

"He lost it in the battle to capture the Death Eaters who tortured the Longbottoms," Remus whispered, knowing what Sirius must be thinking.

Sirius nodded and swallowed. He couldn't speak. He didn't know what to say to Moody after so much time.

Moody, who had been greeting Emmeline, caught sight of Sirius staring at him with his magical eye. He turned to face him, slowly stepping closer. He fixed Sirius with both of his eyes, staring into the haunted depths of the younger man's face.

"I never wanted to believe it was you," he said quietly. "I'm glad to see that it wasn't. You were one of the best Aurors we had. It's a damn shame your career was cut short."

Sirius smiled, really smiled, for the first time since he had stepped into Dumbledore's office. "Thank you," he said softly. He wasn't sure it was the right thing to say, but they were the only words that came to him.

Moody nodded. "I'll expect to see your usual level of performance in the Order."

"I'm ready to do all that I can," Sirius said simply.

Moody nodded again. "It's good to have you back, Mr. Black."

"If I could have everyone's attention," Dumbledore said, standing near his desk, "it would appear that we have all arrived."

Silence fell over the room as the Order members took seats. Dumbledore smiled at them.

"You all know the reason you have been called here," he said. "Despite the Ministry's repeated denials, Lord Voldemort has indeed returned. We are reforming the Order of the Phoenix in an effort to stop him before he is able to cause the sort of destruction that he has been known for in the past.

"There are several things that must be discussed tonight," he continued. "The first is the establishment of our permanent headquarters. Sirius Black has generously offered us the use of his parents' house. Due to the . . . reclusive nature of his parents, the house is already equipped with many charms to keep intruders away. We will, of course, need to add more protection before we move into the house."

"We'll need to make it Unplottable," Moody interjected. "And have you considered the Fidelius Charm?"

"I think those are both excellent ideas," Dumbledore nodded. "I am willing to be Secret Keeper not only for the house but also for the Order, if you are all in agreement."

A general murmur of assent went throughout the room.

"I'll perform the charm, Dumbledore," Emmeline offered. "I've done it before."

He nodded. "Thank you, Emmeline."

"Making the building Unplottable could take some time," McGonagall said slowly.

"I want to have it done as soon as possible," Dumbledore replied. "Once we have the house completely concealed, I want to bring Harry Potter to stay in it with us."

"By himself?" Sirius frowned.

"I had hoped that you would stay with him," Dumbledore said softly.

Sirius nodded at once. "Of course."

"That does, however, bring us to our next point," Dumbledore continued. "Harry, as you all know, is in grave danger. We need to make sure that he is under round the clock surveillance. I want to know everything that happens, every time that he leaves the house."

"He's been out and about more than usual this summer," Arabella offered. "He never leaves the neighborhood, but he's been out walking quite a bit."

"We need to make sure that he is followed," Dumbledore said. "We'll devise a schedule to make sure that someone is always watching.

"We also need a schedule to guard the Hall of Prophecies in the Department of Mysteries."

Quite a few eyes widened as renewed murmuring broke out. Dumbledore held up his hands for silence.

"There is a record of a prophecy there that is of great interest to Voldemort," he said. "It contains part of the mysterious connection he has with Harry."

"Will we be searching for a way to take it, sir?" Snape asked. "We could bring it here to protect it."

"No, we cannot do that," Dumbledore said. "Only those whose names are found in the prophecy may touch it. If you or I tried to take it from its shelf today, we would be lost in insanity."

"I didn't realize the prophecies were so highly guarded, sir," Snape said.

"Oh, yes," Dumbledore nodded. "Most prophecies are better left unheard."

"How exactly will we protect it, then?" Podmore asked.

"We will take shifts standing guard outside the entrance to the Hall of Prophecies. There are several invisibility cloaks among us; they will be essential to our work."

"We're going to need more manpower," Mundungus said. "That's a lot of guard shifts; there's far more than just that to be done."

"The Weasley family has already consented to join us," Dumbledore said. "That will bring us five additional members immediately."

"Olivia Alexander said she'd be happy to start a movement in France," Remus said.

Dumbledore nodded. "Good. We'll need to have active members in as many places as possible. Will she be able to come here for meetings?"

"I'm not sure," Remus said. "I don't know how easy that will be for her to arrange."

"I'll arrange it if necessary," Moody said. "I can call her to England for Auror work. I can't bring her here too often, though, or it will look suspicious."

Dumbledore nodded as he looked over at Moody. "Alastor, I had asked you to consider your Aurors . . .?"

Moody nodded. "I've already spoken to Shacklebolt and Tonks. They're my first choices. Both said they would join."

"Tonks?" Sirius asked before he could stop himself. He knew his cousin Andromeda had not been an Auror before he had been sent to Azkaban and that her husband's family was Muggles, thereby eliminating their chances of being Aurors. Could she or Ted have gone through the training program in his absence? "Ted Tonks? I don't remember him being an Auror."

"No, not Ted," Moody said, giving him a smile. "His daughter."

"Dora?" Sirius exclaimed. The last time he had seen Andromeda's Nymphadora she had been quite young.

"Nymphadora, yes," Moody affirmed. "But I wouldn't try calling her that if I were you."

Sirius grinned, remembering the number of times Andromeda had defended her choice for her daughter's name. "Oh, I won't."

"They will all be invited to our next meeting," Dumbledore said with a satisfied nod. "Now, about those schedules . . ."

* * *

Remus was exhausted by the time the meeting broke up. He barely noticed the distance to the edge of Hogsmeade, where Sirius transformed back into his human form so that they could Apparate to his house. When they arrived, Sirius looked at him with a grin.

"What are you so chipper about?" Remus asked.

"I'll get to see Dora again," he said. "The last time I saw her was at Regulus's funeral. Do you realize how long that's been?"

"Harry's whole life," Remus replied.

"Just about," Sirius agreed. "She hadn't even started at Hogwarts by then! She was close though – I think she was about nine or ten."

"She must be a brilliant Auror, then, if Moody's willing to consider her for the Order when she's so young."

"I'm sure she is." His grin stretched even wider. "I'll get to see Liv soon, too."

"If she can come."

"If she can come," Sirius agreed. "Has she changed much?"

Remus shrugged. "We've all changed, haven't we?"

"I suppose."

"You'll see when you see her."

"Remus, can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Do you take pleasure in torturing me?"

Remus grinned. "Yes," he said again.

"Prat."

He sighed. "Look, Sirius, I know that you miss Liv. I wish that I could conjure her out of thin air for you, but the fact remains that I can't. You'll just have to be patient, all right?"

"Since when have you known me to be patient?"

"You spent twelve years imprisoned for a crime you didn't commit. One would think that such an experience would teach patience."

"One would be wrong," Sirius said. "It's taught me that what James said years ago was, and still is, true. We have to live like there's no tomorrow, because we never know if there will be. I want to see her now because I have no idea how much time I have left to see her. You know very well that my life is in quite a bit of danger."

"She knows that, too," Remus said quietly. "I'm sure she won't keep you waiting forever."

"I hope not," Sirius replied, "because I doubt that I have forever to wait."


	6. The New Order

A/N: This chapter took me awhile to write because I was so nervous about bringing Tonks into the fold. But I like the end result, and I hope you will, too! Enjoy!

**MissRoli:** I never realized the "Principal Skinner" connection – but I laughed out loud after I read your review, because you're absolutely right! I love Principal Skinner.

**Evangelion999: **Totally HBP canon. I'm going to stay as true to the story as possible.

**Potterlegacyfan:** Yeah, they'll see each other – just not yet! Keep reading!

**OliviaAlexander:** Oh, I so hate him! Don't worry, he will be portrayed as the evil rat bastard that he is!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love you all!

I don't own Harry Potter

The New Order

The day after the meeting, Remus received another owl from Dumbledore. This message stated that he would be stopping by for a visit that evening.

"What more does the man want with us?" Sirius exclaimed when Remus told him of the letter's contents. "Does he take pleasure in torturing us?"

"Maybe he has a mission for us," Remus mused.

"It's a possibility," Sirius said dubiously. "Or maybe he wants me to help with the protective charms on my parents' house."

"Your house," Remus corrected softly.

Sirius grimaced. "I hate the idea. I never had any love for that house when I lived there. Now I just . . . like I told you the other day, it's just a reminder of a childhood I'd rather forget."

"You do realize that you're going to have to go back there, right?" Remus asked. "We're going to have meetings all the time. You know what it was like before. We're going to be spending a lot of time at headquarters."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius replied. "I'm trying to come to terms with it."

"Sirius . . ."

"Remus, just stop," Sirius sighed. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

Remus nodded silently, knowing that if Sirius truly did not want to discuss the issue, there was no point in trying to force him to do so. He put the letter from Dumbledore on the coffee table, and went into the kitchen to make dinner.

* * *

Dumbledore arrived promptly at eight thirty, the time designated in his message. Once again, Remus was the one to admit him to the house; once again, Sirius was sitting in the living room as he entered. Dumbledore gave them both cheery smiles as they exchanged pleasantries. He could tell that the two men were eager to discover the purpose for his visit; he quickly brought the conversation to its point.

"I suppose you are both curious as to why I have come to call again so soon?"

"We did just see you yesterday," Sirius replied. He frowned slightly. "Has something happened to Harry?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Only age."

"Only age?" Sirius repeated.

"He has gone from a darling little boy to a moody teenager," Dumbledore smiled. "I cannot say that it was unexpected."

"We'll have to be careful with him," Remus said slowly, thinking back to his experiences with the "moody teenagers" he had taught.

"I know," Dumbledore said. "Though I am sure he will hate me for it, I am hoping to leave him with his aunt for a bit longer."

"Why?" Sirius asked. "He hates being there; if he's truly going through some moody phase, wouldn't it be better to take him away from a place he hates?"

"We don't have another safe place to take him."

"What about the Burrow?" Sirius suggested. "I know he spent time there last summer."

"He has spent time there in years past, as well," Dumbledore said. "But at this point, the Burrow simply is not safe enough. It would not only risk Harry's life to take him there, but it would also jeopardize the entire Weasley family."

"So where would you have him go?" Remus asked.

"I want to bring him to Number 12 Grimmauld Place."

"But I thought there was still work to be done on the protective charms?" Remus asked.

"There is. That is why he must stay with his family for the time being." Dumbledore looked at them over his half-moon spectacles. "There is also the issue of the lack of adult supervision at our headquarters."

"Who _will_ be living there when he arrives?" Sirius frowned.

"I would like for it to be the two of you."

Sirius could not have looked more shocked if Dumbledore had told him that Peter Pettigrew was waiting outside, ready to apologize for all his sins. Remus looked at Sirius for a moment, then back at Dumbledore.

"You want us to move into Sirius's house?"

"Yes. You would be able to provide stability for Harry as soon as we are able to take him away from his family." He paused. "I also want to have someone living there to be a contact person for the Order. We need a 'command central,' if you will, with people who are willing and able to man it. It makes the most sense to have Sirius there. The protection on the house will enable him to remain hidden from the Ministry far better than any other charms we could use."

"And Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Remus," Dumbledore sighed. "I am sorry to say that with all that I have heard of new restrictions on werewolves that are being discussed in the Ministry, living rent-free may become a rather large benefit of being a member of the Order."

"What are they going to do now?" Remus asked dully.

"They are discussing legislation that would require werewolves to state their status on all job and academic applications," Dumbledore said. "As you know, in the past, it has been up to the employer or educator to seek this information."

"But no one will hire a werewolf!" Remus exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. "If I'm forced to state what I am before I can even have an interview, there is no way in the world I'll ever work again!"

"Some people would be okay with it," Sirius said supportively. "Look at Dumbledore. He let you into Hogwarts."

"Yes, but Dumbledore is one person," Remus said. He looked at his former headmaster. "You know how much your trust has meant to me, sir. I will be grateful to you forever for what you did for me when I was a child and throughout my adult life. But you have to admit that most people do not see my situation as you do."

"No, you are correct in saying so," Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid that I must tell you that the legislation does not stop there."

"What else can there be?" Remus asked desperately.

"All employers who do choose to hire werewolves will be required to review the werewolf's job performance weekly, and to send these reviews into the Ministry. They are also required to pay a processing fee with each review they submit. Additionally, they are required to pay a rather large sum monthly to cover the cost of the Aurors that will be stationed at their places of business during all hours that the werewolves work."

"What?" Remus whispered, all color draining from his face. "No one will do all that. It would be easier – and cheaper – to hire three other people."

"I'm afraid that is their aim in creating this legislation," Dumbledore said sadly. "I'm sorry to have to be the one to bring you this news, Remus."

"Who?" Remus asked, his eyes flashing. "Who did this? Whose brilliant idea was this? Was it Fudge?"

"No, it was the brainchild of Dolores Umbridge. Do you know her?"

"I may have heard the name," Remus said, frowning. "I'm sure I've never met her."

"Sounds like that's for the best," Sirius said. "Should we lock her up with you on the night of the full moon?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Violence isn't always the answer, you know."

"Well, it seems like it's the answer this time."

Dumbledore smiled again and shook his head. "Will the two of you consent to live at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, then?"

"What choice do I have?" Remus sighed.

"I suppose," Sirius said reluctantly.

"I know I am asking a lot of you, Sirius" Dumbledore said softly. "Believe me, I would not suggest this if I did not think it was the only way to keep you safe. Right now, the best way to keep you out of the Ministry's hands is to make you invisible. Staying in the house can do that for you."

Sirius nodded. "I suppose I'm like Remus. I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Remember that in staying at our headquarters, you will provide a vital link between Order members."

"When will we move in?"

"As soon as possible. I'd like your help in making the house Unplottable. If you can be there tomorrow, that would be perfect."

Remus looked at Sirius. "Well?"

"You're the one with a house to deal with," Sirius shrugged. "It's up to you."

Remus let his eyes travel around the living room. "I should sell it," he said slowly. "If I'm not going to be living here, it doesn't make sense to keep making payments."

"Do you want to stay here until it's sold?" Sirius asked.

"No, we can leave sooner," Remus replied. "It's not as if I'll be paying for two places. It will sell just as easily if we're here than if we're not."

"You will come tomorrow, then?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," Remus agreed.

Sirius nodded. "And how soon after that will Harry join us?"

"He will stay with his aunt until I think he will be safer with us," Dumbledore said in a tone that told them quite plainly that the subject was closed. "Do either of you have any other questions?"

"No," Remus said.

Sirius shook his head.

"Well, then," Dumbledore said, rising to his feet, "I will say good night. I will see you at the house tomorrow morning."

Once the door had closed behind Dumbledore, Sirius looked at Remus in disbelief.

"What?" Remus asked, knowing full well what was coming.

"He's sending me back there!" Sirius exploded. "My parents kept me locked up in that house for fifteen years, and now he's doing the same thing! And he won't even let us have Harry! He's making him stay with that aunt and uncle that he hates instead of letting him come to us!"

"Sirius, you've been in that house," Remus said. "It's no place for Harry to stay. We need to clean it up before he gets there."

"He wouldn't mind!" Sirius yelled. He clasped his hands together to keep himself from throwing Remus's things. "Sometimes I just don't understand what Dumbledore is thinking!"

"He's thinking about keeping you alive and out of prison," Remus said quietly. "He's thinking about keeping Harry away from Voldemort. Dumbledore knows what he's doing, Sirius. He generally makes the right decisions."

"I know," Sirius said bitterly. "Just let me be angry for awhile, okay?"

Remus smiled. "Sure."

Sirius began to rant again, but Remus barely heard a word of it. He was lost in his memories, thinking of the number of times that Sirius had exploded in fits of temper like this during their time at Hogwarts together. During those days, James had been the best one at talking Sirius out of horrible tempers and sullen depressions. Now that James was gone, who would be there to help Sirius?

He needed to talk to Olivia. Soon.

* * *

Remus and Sirius were both awake early the next morning. They spent several hours packing up everything in Remus's house, using their wands to shrink the boxes down to sizes that could be easily slipped into their pockets. When at last they had finished, Remus surveyed his empty house silently.

"Are you all right, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"No," Remus whispered. "Sirius, this was my home. It's been home to me ever since my Laura died – it's been my refuge from the world. And now I have to leave it all because of some stupid legislation written by some brainless woman that I've never even met. My entire life is being turned upside down because of something that I can't control."

"Better that than because of something that was entirely your decision, your idea, and your fault," Sirius said quietly.

Remus looked at him with wide eyes, realizing what he meant. "Sirius, I didn't mean– "

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said, pulling on his traveling cloak. "Come on, let's get to headquarters before Dumbledore starts to think that we're not coming."

Having learned their lesson during their previous visit to Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Sirius and Remus entered the house silently. They crept through the entrance hall, trying not to disturb the portrait of Mrs. Black.

"Old hag," Sirius whispered as he walked past.

Remus bit his lips to keep from laughing.

Once they had made it into the house, they were greeted by Dumbledore himself. He beamed when he saw them.

"Good morning!" he said cheerfully. "I'm glad to see that you decided to get an early start."

"We didn't want you to think we were going back on our word," Sirius replied.

"Of course," Dumbledore said. "It's a good thing you're hear so early; we're going to have a full membership meeting this afternoon. I'm sure you'll want to be settled in before that."

"Are any of the new members coming?" Remus asked.

"Moody is bringing the two Aurors he spoke of," Dumbledore replied. "I've asked the Weasleys to come next week. I want to work with the old Order members and the trained Aurors before we start bringing anyone else in." He paused. "I've also asked the Weasley family to move in until the start of the school year."

"Why?" Sirius asked blankly.

"Because Ron Weasley is Harry's best friend, and because Molly Weasley is the closest thing to a mother he can remember knowing," Dumbledore said simply. "The Weasleys have provided Harry with a great deal of stability in the past. They have been a family to him in a way that his own relatives never have. I know that having the two of you here will be very important to him, but I think that having them here as well will make his transition from his quiet Muggle life to a war torn wizarding world much easier."

Remus nodded, but Sirius looked mutinous. Dumbledore chose to ignore Sirius's reaction, and continued speaking.

"Please, take the rest of the day to choose your bedrooms and establish yourselves in the house. The meeting will begin at four this afternoon."

"We'll be there," Remus said. "Come on, Sirius. Let's go check out the bedroom selection before anyone else tries to claim the best room."

"They're all pretty much the same," Sirius shrugged.

"Ah, just a moment," Dumbledore said as they started to leave the room. "Please leave the room with the portrait of Phineas for Harry."

"What room would that be?" Remus frowned.

"I know which one he means," Sirius said. "He has another portrait in your office, doesn't he?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "I'd like him to help us keep an eye on Harry."

"If you can convince him to do it," Sirius said with a hint of a smile. "Let's go upstairs, Moony."

"Who's Phineas?" Remus asked as they walked up the stairs to the second floor.

"My great-grandfather," Sirius replied. "There's a portrait of him in one of the bedrooms. He was headmaster of Hogwarts in his day – the least popular person to ever hold the position."

"Quite a distinction," Remus grinned.

"Ah, well, at least he's known for something," Sirius replied. He paused to open a door. "This was my room."

"When you were little?"

"Yeah," Sirius shuddered, and closed the door. "I don't think I want to stay there. Someone else can have it."

"Which room do you want?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think I want Regulus's room."

Remus raised his eyebrows.

"I think it will help me to remember him as a little kid – before he got all mixed up with the Death Eaters, when I still thought we were both going to get out of this family."

Remus nodded slowly. "Which room was his?" he asked quietly.

"That one," Sirius said, pointing at a closed door.

"Take it," Remus said in the same soft voice. "Which room will be Harry's?"

"That one down there," he said, pointing out a second closed door.

Remus nodded. "I'll take this one, then," he said, randomly choosing the room across the hall from Sirius's childhood sleeping quarters.

Sirius nodded. "All right, then. Shall we start unpacking?"

"We'd better. We have a meeting to get to."

* * *

Shortly before four, Sirius walked into Remus's room. Remus had already finished unpacking, and was writing a letter.

"Who are you writing to?" Sirius asked, sitting down on the bed.

"Laura," Remus replied.

Sirius blinked, then smiled. "Remember how I said she was still a baby in my mind? When you said her name, I thought you meant _Laura_ . . . your Laura."

Remus smiled sadly. "You have to meet her, Sirius. You'd just love her."

"I want to," Sirius said, grinning. "She must be something to have won such devotion from you."

Remus smiled and shook his head. "She's like Harry. She had me wrapped around her little finger from the first time I held her."

"Harry . . ." Sirius sighed. "I can't believe Dumbledore thinks we need the Weasleys here to help us with him. Doesn't he think we're capable of caring for him?" A look of defiance came into his eyes. "James and Lily certainly thought I could handle their son."

"I don't think it's that, Sirius," Remus said gently. "Dumbledore meant what he said. The Weasleys have always been a stabilizing force in Harry's life. They, and Hermione Granger, are his family in a way no one has been since James and Lily died. I know how much they all mean to him. Remember, I spent an entire year with him at school. He depends on Ron and Hermione as much as you, James, Peter and I depended on each other, if not more." He looked straight into Sirius's eyes. "I think having them here is just what we need. It's just what _Harry_ needs."

"I guess you're right," Sirius said reluctantly.

Remus smiled. "Besides, it'll be good to have someone else to help us clean out the house."

"That's true," Sirius said, smiling slightly. He glanced at his watch. "Come on. We'd better get downstairs before we're late for this meeting."

As they started down the stairs, a loud crash reached their ears. They exchanged confused looks just as Mrs. Black started screaming.

"Oh, no, not again!" Sirius yelled. He ran down the rest of the stairs with Remus at his heels.

"_Filth! Disgracing the home of my fathers, the home of my –_"

"_STUPEFY_!" Sirius bellowed, bringing an abrupt end to the shrieks.

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea!" a young woman with curtains of long, dark hair exclaimed, setting the umbrella stand she had knocked over upright again.

"Hush," Sirius said sharply. "We don't want to wake her up again. The old hag is as bad in portrait form as she was in person."

The woman straightened up, and looked at him fully. "Sirius?" she asked.

"Yes?" he asked, looking at her curiously. There was something about her that was so familiar, but he couldn't place her.

"It's me! Tonks!"

His face changed to a look of incredulous disbelief. "Dora?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"Look at you!" he exclaimed, crossing the hall in two strides to pull her close. He grabbed her in a bear hug that took her feet off the floor, and swung her around.

She laughed, and kissed his cheek. "Put me down!" she cried.

He set her back on the floor, but held her shoulders as he pulled back to look at her. "I can't believe it's really you!"

"It's really me," she grinned. "Does this help?" A look of concentration came over her face, which changed before his eyes to closely resemble the way he remembered Andromeda at their uncle's funeral.

"Is that what you really look like, then?"

"Yes," she said. She wrinkled her nose. "Didn't you like the dark hair better?"

He laughed. "Andromeda always hated her hair, too. 'Mouse brown' she called it."

"Yeah, well, she likes it well enough on me," Tonks replied, rolling her eyes. She closed her eyes, changing her hair again to make it a short, spiky pink. "What do you think she'd think of this?"

Sirius laughed again. "Oh, I've missed you! I wish I could have been there to see you grow up."

"You're here now," she said, hugging him again. "That's what matters."

Looking over her head, Sirius caught sight of Remus standing uncertainly at the bottom of the steps. He grinned and pulled back from his cousin.

"Dora, this is one of my oldest friends, Remus Lupin. He's an original Order member, back for round two."

Tonks looked around to find Remus. He smiled at her, and she felt her heart skip a beat. Yes, he was older than she was, but there was something about him . . . she didn't want to take her eyes away from him. He was one of the most attractive men she had met in ages, and there was something about that smile. . . . She finally remembered her manners, and stepped forward to greet him.

She smiled, and held out her hand to shake Remus's. "Please, call me Tonks," she said. She winked. "I'll let Sirius get away with 'Dora' because he's always called me that, but no one else can!"

"Not even your dad?" Sirius teased.

"Yeah, he always calls me that, too," she smiled.

Remus smiled as he shook her hand. "Well, it's very nice to finally meet you, Tonks. Sirius talks about you all the time."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Really." He smiled again. "Don't worry, it's all be very complimentary."

"Well, I should hope so," she grinned. "I'm just sorry I can't say that I've heard much about you. Mum always spoke very highly of Sirius's friends; I know she liked you, and I'm sure I will, too. We'll have to spend plenty of time getting to know one another."

Sirius looked between them in disbelief. Unless he was much mistaken, his cousin was flirting with his best friend! He looked at her again, noting the sparkle that had jumped into her eyes when she had started talking to Remus. He smiled to himself, wondering where this would go.

"We'd better get to the meeting, guys," he said.

"Yeah, Moody will go insane if we're late," Tonks said, still smiling up at Remus.

"Same old Moody," Sirius said cheerfully. "We're in the kitchen, right?"

"Right," Remus said. "Lead away."

Several others were already gathered in the kitchen by the time they got there, including Moody himself. He was talking to a man Sirius had never seen before, but whose eyes lit up when he saw Sirius enter the room. He said something to Moody, and crossed to greet Sirius with his hand already outstretched.

"Sirius Black," he said with a grin.

"Yes?" Sirius asked, frowning slightly. This time, he was positive that this dark-skinned man was not one of his relatives.

"I'm Kingsley Shacklebolt," he said. "I'm the Auror in charge of the search for you."

"Are you here to arrest me, then?" Sirius asked, only half joking.

"Now why would I do that?" he asked, grinning again. "All my recent intelligence suggests that you're hiding out in Germany. It's so difficult to find escaped convicts once they find their way to Continental Europe."

Sirius grinned, realizing that he had found a new friend. "Well, just to give you a heads up, I plan to head to Russia next. I've always wanted to see it."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kingsley said, giving him a wink. He looked past him, and his grin widened. "Tonks! I thought I heard something breaking a while ago! Was that you coming in?"

"Oh, sod off," she said, slapping his arm affectionately. "Have you met Remus Lupin?"

"Not yet," Kingsley said, extending his hand again. "Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"It's nice to meet you," Remus said, shaking his hand.

While they started talking, Sirius grabbed Tonks's arm, pulling her away from the others.

"What's up?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing," he said, grinning at her. "What exactly just happened here?"

"I just introduced Remus to Kingsley," she said, frowning slightly.

"I meant before that," Sirius said. "I was talking about when I introduced you to Remus."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, flushing slightly. _Am I that obvious?_

"Okay," Sirius said skeptically.

"Oh, Sirius, leave it," she said impatiently. "Nothing _happened_."

"Right," he replied in the same skeptical tone.

"If everyone could please take their seats?"

Seeing Dumbledore trying to call the meeting to order, Sirius ushered Tonks to a nearby seat, taking the seat next to hers. Remus joined them, sitting down on Sirius's other side. Sirius glanced at Tonks to see if she was upset about the seating arrangement, but she was staring determinedly at Dumbledore.

The meeting was rather short, all things considered. Its main objective was to introduce Tonks and Kingsley, but Dumbledore also brought everyone up to date on the status of the protective charms being placed on the building. He assured them that the Fidelius would be performed within the week; making the building Unplottable would take considerably longer.

After the meeting, the members stayed to chat, reacquainting themselves with one another and getting to know Tonks and Kingsley. Sirius found himself to be quite popular; plenty of his colleagues wanted to talk to him about his recent activities. Even as he was engaged in other conversations, he found himself searching for Remus. He grinned to realize that Tonks was rarely far from his side.

For his part, Remus was quite impressed by the grown-up Tonks. He only remembered snapshots of her from her childhood. Even though Sirius had talked about her almost nonstop since finding out that she was joining the Order, he still hadn't been sure what to expect. Now, as she stood talking to him, listening as though he was the most interesting person she had ever conversed with, he was certain that Moody had made the right decision in asking her to join the Order. She had a maturity about her that belied her young age, and a fiery, passionate eagerness to help in the battle against Voldemort that reminded him of himself and his friends when they had first joined the Order. _And we were even younger than she is now_, he reminded himself. How could the first war have been so long ago?

It was late when the socializing finally came to an end. Sirius and Remus bade their guests farewell, knowing that they would be seeing them very frequently in the future. Tonks was the last to leave. She hugged Sirius tightly at the door.

"I'm so glad I've found you again," she said. "I can't wait to tell Mum."

"She doesn't know yet?"

"Not yet. Dumbledore doesn't want me to tell her until we're sure that there's no way anyone can find you, even if word does get out that you're back in the area."

"I hope that's soon," Sirius said. "I can't wait to see her again."

"She'll be excited to see you, too," Tonks assured him. "I guess I'll see you at the next meeting, then."

"Come sooner, if you want," Sirius invited. "It's just Remus and I in the house for now; goodness knows we'd like the company. Wouldn't we, Remus?"

"Of course," Remus said, smiling at her. "Come anytime you'd like. It would be nice to have visitors who are here for some reason other than Order business."

"Maybe I will," she said, giving Remus a wide smile. "It was great talking to you tonight, Remus. I'll see you soon."

"Good night," he smiled.

She squeezed Sirius's hand one last time, then took her leave. She walked out into the darkness surrounding the house, then Disapparated. Sirius closed the door behind her, then turned to Remus with a grin.

"Well," he said.

"Deep thought," Remus grinned.

"It's a shallow well," Sirius shot back.

"What are you on about, Sirius?" Remus asked as he walked down the hall to extinguish the lights in the kitchen before going up to bed.

"You and Tonks."

"Me and Tonks?" Remus repeated, stopping and turning to face him again. "What are you talking about?"

"She likes you," Sirius grinned.

Remus rolled his eyes. "She likes me? What, are we in fourth year again?"

"I know, I know," Sirius laughed. "But, seriously, mate, I think she has a little crush on you."

Remus's face rapidly began to turn red. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous. I'm just telling you what I saw."

"And what would that be?"

"That she never left your side all night."

"We had never met before. We have to get to know one another if we're going to be working together for the Order."

"I didn't see Kingsley spending so much time with you."

"He talked to you quite a bit."

"But Dora didn't."

"She already knows you," Remus said dismissively.

Sirius shook his head. "She knew me when she was a little girl and I was a teenager. We don't really know each other anymore."

"Look, Sirius, there is no way that she could be interested in me."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm considerably older than her, I'm unemployed without hope of ever being employed again, and I'm a werewolf. Need any other reasons?"

"You have me convinced not to fall for you," Sirius laughed, holding up his hands. "But I'm afraid you might have to work a bit harder to convince _her_."

Remus shook his head. "There is no way that she would ever . . ."

Sirius laughed again. "We'll see, Moony. We'll see."


	7. The Best Laid Plan

A/N: We're almost there with Sirius and Olivia. Please have patience with me!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Best-Laid Plan

"Hey, Remus!"

"Good morning," Remus smiled as Tonks bounced into the kitchen where he was cleaning up from breakfast. "You're here early this morning," he commented.

"I promised Sirius I'd help clean out the attic," she said. "It's not fit for a hippogriff at this point."

Remus smiled, knowing this to be true. Even so, he had been surprised by how easily the hippogriff in question had adjusted to living indoors. "Buckbeak hasn't complained to me."

"You obviously don't take care of him," she replied. "I wouldn't let _Snape_ live up there, let alone a defenseless animal."

Remus laughed out loud. "First of all, Buckbeak is _far_ from defenseless." He grinned. "And I see that you share Sirius's opinion of Snape."

"I wish I could say I hate him on Sirius's behalf, but he's earned the sentiment all on his own." She paused. "Well, hate is a strong word. I severely dislike him."

Remus laughed again, wondering what exactly Snape had done to her. He supposed that if she wanted him to know, she would have told him. "You are too much. We need more of your sense of humor around here."

Tonks felt her face getting warm. "Well, I'll see what I can do about that," she grinned. "What are you up to today?"

"I'm going on a trip."

"Really? For the Order?"

"No," Remus said. He glanced at the door to make sure that it was closed. "Can you promise not to tell Sirius?"

"Of course," she said, sitting down at the table. "I'm very good at keeping secrets."

Remus sat down across from her. "I'm going to France."

She looked at him blankly. "Should that mean something to me?"

"Sirius's . . . well, his former fiancée lives there. I'm going to talk to her about coming for a visit this weekend."

Tonks's eyes widened. "Olivia?"

"You know her?"

"Sort of . . . I met her when I was a little girl, and her name comes up quite often at work. I doubt I'd recognize her, though, despite the number of times that I've heard Moody talk about her." She looked at him intently. "This weekend is really soon. Are you sure she'll be able to make it?"

"This is her weekend off," Remus replied, leaning his elbows on the table as he began to talk with his hands. "And the Weasleys don't move in until next week, so the house should be pretty empty." He frowned. "We don't have a meeting this weekend, do we?"

"No, there's nothing until next week." Tonks was amazed she managed to get that statement out with the waves of disappointment that were washing over her. As Remus moved his hands around in speech, she noticed the glint of gold on his ring finger for the first time. He was _married_?

Her heart fell through her stomach as she tried to process this information. Why had he never mentioned his wife? She was sure that Sirius had said that it was just the two of them – Sirius and Remus – living in the house. Where was his wife? Why wasn't she living with him? Could they be separated? No, he didn't seem like the type to be separated or divorced. Was she away on a mission for the Order? Her heart sinking even farther, she realized that that must be the truth. _Of course_ Remus would be married to another Order member. She sighed softly. Why were the good ones always married?

"Are you all right?" Remus asked.

"Of course," she said, giving him a falsely bright smile, realizing that her scattered thoughts had sent her into contemplative silence. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Remus said slowly. "You just got awfully quiet."

"I'm fine," she reaffirmed. "I was just thinking of how excited Sirius is going to be."

"He will be, won't he?" Remus grinned. "I just hope that Olivia agrees."

"I'm sure she will."

"She should," Remus replied. A slight smile curved his lips as he thought back to the past. "Sirius and Olivia had the most tumultuous relationship. If they could survive all their ups and downs way back when, I think they might actually be able to come out of this stronger, too."

"Are you suggesting that they might get back together?"

"It's a possibility."

"Really?" she asked with excitement.

"Really." He glanced at his watch, then stood up. "I should get going. I want to have plenty of time to talk to her."

"Yeah, I need to get upstairs before Sirius thinks I'm bailing on him," Tonks said, rising to her own feet.

As he walked past her, Remus put his hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for listening, and for promising to keep my secret. It's been killing me not to be able to tell _someone_."

"Anytime," she said, trying her best not to blush. _He doesn't mean anything by it_, she told herself firmly. _He's_ married, _for Pete's sake_!

Remus smiled at her, then Disapparated.

Tonks sank back down into her chair as he disappeared. She put her hand over the spot that he had touched on her shoulder, and bit her lip.

"He's married," she whispered to herself. "Don't even think it. You are _not_ a home-wrecker."

"Talking to yourself?"

She jumped a mile, her hand immediately grasping her wand.

"I come in peace!" Sirius laughed, holding up his hands as he entered the kitchen. "You don't need to be so jumpy, you know."

"Sorry," she said, putting her wand away. "Auror reflexes, I suppose."

"You should know better than to jump when your name is called," Sirius teased. "Or does Moody no longer hex anyone who jumps when he bellows their name down a hall?"

Tonks laughed. "He does. But you didn't say my name."

"I didn't expect to see you here. I was looking for Remus."

"He's not here."

"Yes, I can see that. Do you know where he went?"

"He just said he was going out," she said, expertly concealing the fact that she knew more information.

"Oh. All right, then." He paused. "Shall we get started on the attic?"

"Now's as good a time as any, I suppose."

"Buckbeak will love you forever."

"I just hope I still have all my fingers when he's done with me."

Sirius laughed. "Come on. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll be done."

* * *

Remus Apparated to a point down the street from Olivia's home and walked the distance to the house. His reason for not Apparating straight into the house was two-fold: Olivia wasn't expecting him, and he wanted to give himself a chance to collect his thoughts. He needed to be sure he knew what he was going to say. For Sirius's sake, he had to use the right words. 

Too soon, he arrived at her front door. He knocked, and only waited a moment before the door slowly opened.

"Goodness, Remus," she said, smiling as she opened the door all the way. "You know you can just Apparate straight into the house."

"I know," he smiled. "But I knew you weren't expecting me, and I wasn't sure if you'd be home." He stepped into the house and kissed her cheek. "How are you?"

"Fine," she smiled, closing the door behind him. "You?"

"I'm fine," he said.

"How are things going with the Order?" she asked, leading the way into the kitchen.

"Pretty well," Remus replied. "We just had a meeting with the new Aurors that Moody is bringing in – Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks."

"Sirius's cousin?" Olivia asked, her interest piqued.

"Yes."

"She's really young, isn't she?"

"Yes," Remus said again.

"She must be a phenomenal Auror if Moody's bringing her into the Order already. She hasn't been working with us that long."

"I can think of a few people who were even younger when they joined the Order."

Olivia's eyes widened, and she smiled. "But we were so much more mature, weren't we?"

Remus smiled with her. "Tonks seems very dedicated," he said. "She's really grown up since last we knew her."

"The last time I saw her, she wasn't even in Hogwarts," Olivia mused. "I can't even imagine what she must look like now."

"Well, I saw her look four different ways the first time I met her," Remus grinned.

"Oh, that's right," Olivia smiled. "I forgot that she's a metamorphmagus."

"She has some very impressive skills," Remus said with another grin. "Sirius was so excited to see her again," he added, watching carefully for Olivia's reaction.

"I'll just bet he was," she said, smiling softly. "He loved that little girl before . . ."

"He still does," Remus assured her. "You know, Liv, in a lot of ways, Sirius hasn't changed all that much."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean . . ." Remus paused, searching for the right way to make his point. "In many ways, he's still the same Sirius he was before James and Lily died. Azkaban couldn't take the life out of him like it does to most. His character is still the same, he still reacts the same way in most situations . . . he still sees his friends and family the same way he always did."

Olivia looked at him for a moment before responding. "You're trying to make a point, Remus, but I just can't get it. Be a good friend and just say what you came to say."

Remus drew a deep breath. "You promised me before that you would think about coming to visit Sirius. I'm trying to ask you if you're ready to do that."

Her eyebrows shot up as her eyes opened wide. "Now?"

"Not right now," Remus clarified. "I was thinking of this weekend. I know that you're off, and Sirius and I will pretty much be the only people at Grimmauld Place." He grinned. "I promise to clear out while you're there. You two will need some time alone without me hanging around."

"This weekend . . ." she whispered. "Oh, Remus, I just don't know if I'm ready."

"Liv, listen to me," he said, leaning forward. "Sirius needs you. I've been with him almost constantly since he came to my house in June, and I've watched him. Like I said a minute ago, in some ways, he's still the same person he always was – fits of temper and all." He paused. "You and James were always so much better than me at dealing with him, at getting through to him . . ."

"Does he need someone to deal with him?"

"Not exactly," Remus sighed. "The thing is, Dumbledore's pretty much told him that he's going to be locked up in his parents' house indefinitely. You know how he hated that place when we were younger. He doesn't like it any more now. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to him. I'm afraid of how he's going to deal with everything. And I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to help him." He paused. "But I know that _you_ can."

"Remus . . ." She looked away for a moment. "Am I ready to do this?"

"You are," Remus said firmly. "You've said yourself that you want to see him. Why put it off any longer? This is the perfect time to come. You're off for the weekend, and the house is pretty much empty. The Weasleys are moving in on Monday, so this will be your last chance to have time alone in the house with him."

She drew a deep breath. "And he really wants to see me?"

Remus grinned. "You have no idea how much."

She smiled sadly. "Yes, I do. I have a very good idea of how much. It's as much as I want to see him."

"You'll come, then?"

She closed her eyes as she hesitated. "Yes," she whispered, opening her eyes again.

"Thank you," Remus said softly.

"I can't believe that you're thanking me," she smiled. "You're the one who's making it possible for me to see the man I was planning to marry again."

Remus looked at her for a long minute. Then he reached across the table to take her hand with one of his; his other hand reached into the pocket of his robes. "You may want this before you come to visit," he said softly, sliding something cool into her palm.

Olivia looked at him curiously, then let her eyes drop to her hand. She gasped as she recognized the diamond engagement ring that Sirius had given her years ago. "How did you find it?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"I summoned it before we left James and Lily's house that day," he said softly.

They were both silent for a moment, remembering that night. They had found out about James and Lily's deaths the day before, and had gone to see the wreckage that had been their houses. Consumed by a grief that literally brought her to her knees, Olivia had flung her engagement ring into the dark house, effectively throwing away her relationship with Sirius. The tears flooded her eyes as she drew a shaky breath.

"When I threw it into the wreckage, I knew that I never wanted to see it again," she said, a tear sliding down her cheek. "I never wanted to see _him_ again. What made you save it for me?"

"I thought that you might change your mind," he whispered.

"And you've kept it ever since that night?"

"Yes. It's yours, Liv. I didn't think you actually wanted to lose it forever."

The tears began in earnest, slipping unheeded down her cheeks. "Thank you, Remus," she said softly. "Thank you so much."

Remus smiled. "You're welcome."

* * *

"Is there a point to Kreacher's existence?" Sirius asked as he banished a pile of trash across the attic. "Isn't it supposed to be his job to keep this place clean?" 

"Apparently, he didn't deal with the attic," Tonks gasped, wrestling several dangerous-looking instruments into a box. "How is it that your parents were never convicted on some illegal dark object charge?"

"Good connections, I suppose," Sirius said, his frustration evident on his face. "Ugh, I can't take this anymore. Let's take a break."

"I'm all for that," Tonks replied, slamming the lid down on the box in front of her.

"Let's go downstairs and find a snack," Sirius said. "I'm sure there's something we can eat in this house."

They made their way down to the kitchen, which they rummaged through long enough to find pumpkin juice and a box of cookies. They sat down at the table with their snack, and promptly began to complain about Kreacher's lack of effort in maintaining the house.

"Sirius, can I ask you something?" Tonks asked when there was a lull in the conversation after they had exhausted the topic of Kreacher's incompetence.

"Sure," Sirius said easily.

She paused, not sure that she wanted this official confirmation. "Is Remus married?"

Sirius hesitated. "No," he said at last.

"You don't sound very sure of yourself," she said, her eyes narrowing slightly. "And why is it that he wears a wedding ring if he's not married?"

Sirius sighed. "He _was_ married, Dora. His wife died."

Her eyes rounded in surprise. "When?" she whispered.

"Long time ago," Sirius replied. "Harry was still a baby."

"Oh," was all she could think of to say. A million other questions jumped into her mind, but Sirius pushed back his chair and stood to his feet.

"Come on, Tonks," he said. "We're not getting any closer to being done by sitting down here."

She followed him back up to the attic but her mind was miles away, trying to comprehend the idea that Remus was a widower. Sirius's response to her query had left her with more questions than answers. How had his wife died? Had she been older? How long had they been married? Did they have children? If so, where were those children now?

If his wife had died when Harry, who was rapidly approaching his fifteenth birthday, was a baby, then why was he still wearing a wedding ring? Was he still that in love with her? He seemed well adjusted enough, but the wedding band suggested that he was not over her death. What must this woman have been like to win such love and devotion?

Even though her heart ached for Remus and his behavior confused her, she couldn't help the slight feeling of giddiness that came over her. She felt a bit guilty to be so happy to learn that his wife was dead, but there was nothing she could do to change either her feelings or the status of this unknown woman's life. While she never would have wished Remus's wife dead, her long-ago demise meant that he was most definitely available again. Maybe she stood a chance after all.

* * *

"We have a lot of details to work out," Remus said. "We can decide some things now, but 

we may need to stay in contact all week."

"Okay," Olivia agreed.

"When do you want to start the visit?"

"Well, I can come over after work on Friday," Olivia offered. "I get off at three."

"Okay," Remus agreed. "I can be gone by then. Like I said, I'll stay away for the weekend."

"I want to see you, too," she protested.

He grinned. "No, you don't. You're coming to see Sirius. You can see me any time you want."

"Tell you what," Olivia said, her eyes lighting up. "I have an idea. We've been promising Laura a trip to England all summer and haven't come yet. I'll ask Dana to bring her over on Sunday afternoon. You come back, too, and the five of us will spend the afternoon together. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea," Remus said with a smile. "Should we tell Sirius what's going on?"

"No, let's keep it a surprise," Olivia grinned. "That'll be more fun, don't you think?"

Remus smiled. "He's going to be so excited."

Olivia smiled back at him. "I already am."

* * *

Tonks was still at Grimmauld Place when Remus came home. She and Sirius were in the living room, engaged in a game of Exploding Snap. Remus watched them from the doorway for a moment before entering the room, smiling at the cousins. It would appear that they had certainly gotten to know one another again quite quickly. 

"Hi," he called over the noise of the game.

"Moony!" Sirius said cheerfully. "Tonks tells me you were off on some mysterious mission. Where have you been?"

"I had an appointment with a Healer," he said, using the story he had come up with on his way out of Olivia's house. He knew that a checkup was one thing that Sirius would not pursue. He knew how private Remus was about his health, and he knew that Tonks had not yet been informed about his condition.

"Oh," Sirius said, understanding at once why he would not want to tell Tonks about that. It could lead to awkward questions about his health, which would lead to even more awkward questions about his werewolf status. "Are you still alive, then?"

"So far," Remus said with a smile. "How did the attic project go?"

"God, what a mess," Sirius moaned. "We're not done yet. We stopped after Tonks was attacked by several dark objects."

"Are you all right?" Remus asked with concern.

"I suppose," she said, still obviously disgruntled by the experience. "Now I fully understand why Mum never wanted to have anything to do with her family. No wonder we always spent Christmas with my dad's parents."

"Do you want me to look at you?" Remus asked, still concerned.

Tonks's eyes widened. "Huh?" she said, mentally slapping herself for her inarticulate response.

Remus smiled, realizing how odd his offer must sound. "I've spent a great deal of time studying defense against the dark arts. One of the areas I studied was dark objects. I might be able to help you."

"Oh," she said, still a bit flustered. "All right, then. My hands are still tingling."

"Let's go into the kitchen," Remus said. "We have all our remedies and potion ingredients there."

"All right," Tonks agreed again, standing up to follow him.

Remus paused in the doorway to let Tonks pass ahead of him. Just before he left the room, Sirius caught Remus's eye. He grinned and winked. Remus shook his head, and followed Tonks to the kitchen.

"Right," he said as he entered the room. "Let's take a look at those hands."

Tonks obediently held her hands out to him. He took them in his to examine them, and her breath caught in her throat. His fingers were soft as they gently played across her palms, searching for telltale signs of spell damage. She wanted desperately to curl her fingers around his, but knew that such a reaction could not be explained away as an after-effect of a dark object attack. She stood as still as possible, trying to not act on her impulses.

"What attacked you?" he asked, reaching for his wand.

"A bracelet."

"Be glad it wasn't the whole necklace," Remus grinned. He muttered a spell under his breath as he waved his wand over her hands. "Better?" he asked.

"Much," she smiled, flexing her hands experimentally. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, feeling oddly deprived now that he no longer held her hands in his. He mentally shook himself. What was he doing, thinking of her that way? _Sirius must be getting to me_.

"So, you dragged me all the way in here just to do that?" she asked.

"Well, you might have needed some other remedy," Remus said defensively. He glanced at the door. "But I also wanted to tell you about what happened with Olivia."

"I'm guessing it wasn't good," she said. "You didn't tell Sirius where you'd been."

Remus grinned broadly. "That's because Olivia wants it to be a surprise."

"She's coming?" Tonks gasped.

"Yes," Remus said, still grinning. "It wasn't nearly as hard to convince her as I thought it would be. She said she'd come after work on Friday and stay for the weekend. She's going to talk to Dana about coming on Sunday evening with Laura to see him, too."

"That's awesome!" Tonks said, completely clueless as to who Dana and Laura were.

Remus grinned. "I think so, too."

"So what are you going to do while she's with Sirius? You're not going to stay in the house, are you?"

"No, of course not," he said. "I'm not entirely sure what I'll do." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe I could go to France to stay with Dana and Laura."

"Who are they?" Tonks asked, unable to contain her curiosity at this second reference to the unknown women.

"Dana's another of our group from Hogwarts, and Laura is her daughter – and my goddaughter."

"I didn't know you have a goddaughter!" she grinned.

"Yes," he smiled. "She's fourteen."

She bit her lip. "And you want to stay with them?"

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

"I just don't think you need to go all the way to France for the weekend. If you don't want to be in the house, you could just stay with me."

Remus raised his eyebrows at her, shocked that anyone could be so forward.

"I didn't mean it like that!" she exclaimed, a flush rapidly spreading across her face. "I'm not talking about a slumber party, I just meant that we could spend the weekend together so you can be out of the house! I know the area pretty well, and I could show you around . . . if you like."

"Oh," Remus said, a bit relieved. "Well, that's a great idea."

"You'd like to come?"

"Sure," he agreed. "What do you have in mind for us to do?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I'll come up with an itinerary and give it to you later in the week," she said at last.

Remus grinned. "All right."

Tonks wanted to offer him a place to sleep, as well, but was afraid of how he would take it. Unable to think of anything to say, she looked down at her hands. "We should probably get back to Sirius before he thinks that you cursed my hands off."

"Now why would he think a thing like that?" Remus teased, ushering her out the door ahead of him. "Do you really think that I'm so violent?"

"No, _I_ don't," she smiled. "But I can't speak for Sirius."

Remus smiled in reply, knowing that no one ever could.


	8. The Sweetest Reunion

A/N: I'm sorry that this is later than usual, but I think you'll understand why when you start reading. First, I was very nervous about writing this highly anticipated chapter . . . and then once I started writing, I couldn't stop. Consider it to be super-sized! Enjoy! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You're the best!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Sweetest Reunion

When Tonks climbed out of bed the next morning, her head was still spinning. She could hardly believe all that had happened the day before. She felt as if she had spent twenty-four hours on an emotional roller coaster. First there had been the assumption – which, she reminded herself, was quite justified – that Remus was married. Then she had received the rather shocking news that he was a widower. This was followed by the tense – at least on her side – moment of near-handholding in the kitchen, along with her invitation for Remus to _stay with her _for the weekend.

Even now, thinking back on that moment brought a flush to her cheeks. What would her mother say if she knew that she had basically asked Remus out? Andromeda would probably be appalled. She had raised her daughter to be a lady, not to be some forward, brazen woman. Then again, given her current opinions of her daughter's marital status, she might just condone her actions.

Tonks sighed as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. _She_ didn't think she was old enough to classify as a spinster, but her mother seemed to have other ideas. Andromeda had taken to asking her about all of her activities, if she had met "anyone interesting" and if her single girlfriends had "any prospective boyfriends." It was truly becoming grating; Tonks was beginning to find some perverse joy in telling her mother that she was still blissfully single.

"Nymphadora? Are you home?"

"Speak of the devil," Tonks muttered under her breath. She raised her voice to answer her mother. "I'm here, Mum! I'll be out in a minute!"

Wondering for the thousandth time why she had ever bothered to move out of her parents' house, Tonks wrapped her bathrobe around herself and made her way to the kitchen. Her mother was standing in the middle of the room brushing soot off her robes; she had clearly just Flooed over. Since Tonks had moved out six months ago, her mother had come to visit nearly every day. Because they had always had a good relationship, and because she usually came bearing food, Tonks had very little objection to these visits.

"Good morning," Andromeda said, giving her daughter a smile. "I brought you some breakfast."

"Bagels!" Tonks cried as she opened the bag on the counter. "Thanks, Mum! You didn't need to do that!"

"I thought we could have breakfast together,'" Andromeda smiled. "It's been a long time since we did that."

"True," Tonks replied, moving to get plates and mugs from the cupboard. "Do you want coffee or tea?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

Tonks grinned. Her mother was already at the stove putting on the coffee.

"How have you been, darling?" Andromeda asked.

"Since yesterday?" Tonks laughed.

"Yes," she replied. "Really, Nymphadora, you have to admit that we haven't seen much of you recently. Daddy was just saying yesterday that he hasn't talked to you in a week." She frowned slightly. "Is work keeping you that busy?"

"No," Tonks admitted, realizing that this was the moment to tell her mother everything. She had avoided it for a long time, but now, with the knowledge that Olivia would soon see Sirius, she knew that she couldn't keep quiet any longer.

Andromeda's eyes widened. "Really?" she asked, her smile sparkling more than usual. "What exactly _has_ been keeping you so busy then?"

"Don't get too excited, Mum," Tonks grinned. "I'm not on the way to marriage, if that's what you're thinking."

"Well, what have you been doing, then?"

"You'd better sit down."

Frowning slightly, Andromeda carried the coffee to the table and sat down. She looked up at her daughter expectantly.

"You know that Voldemort's back, right?" Tonks asked, sitting down across from her mother.

"Yes," Andromeda replied, wondering where this could be going.

"And you know that I'm an Auror, right?"

Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Oh, so _that's_ what all my money has gone to pay for. Auror training. And here I was, thinking you'd just spent it all on new dress robes."

"Funny, Mum," Tonks said, making a face. "Listen, Moody approached me about a month ago about helping even more in the fight against Voldemort, about joining –"

"The Order of the Phoenix," Andromeda interrupted in a whisper.

"How did you know?"

"I've heard rumors . . . I remember last time, I know Moody was one of the people in charge . . . I know what it was like . . ." Andromeda closed her eyes and the color drained out of her face. "Oh, Nymphadora, tell me you didn't."

Tonks looked surprised. "Of course I joined, Mum! Why wouldn't I?"

"Because Order members are among the first to die!" Andromeda exclaimed. "Did Moody bother to tell you that? Or did he just tell you about all the glory of being a member of a doomed organization?"

"Mum!" Tonks exclaimed. "Of course he told me about the risks! But don't you see? I take those same risks every single day as an Auror. And not everyone in the Order died last time – just like not everyone will this time. Right now the vast majority of the people in the Order are members who lived through the last war."

"Oh, sweetie, I just don't know about this," Andromeda said, twisting her napkin into knots. "I never dreamed you'd have to fight this thing."

"Well, I do have to fight it," Tonks said stubbornly. "Why didn't you ever join, Mum? You always told me about how much you opposed your family's stand on the dark arts."

"It's one thing to fight your family, but it's another thing entirely to fight the world," Andromeda sighed. "Nymphadora, you have to understand that I never supported the dark arts. Both your father and I opposed You-Know-Who. But we didn't join the Order because we had just gotten married . . . then we had you . . . we didn't want to risk our lives when they were just beginning." She smiled ruefully. "I suppose I'm a Slytherin through and through. Always looking out for myself. Order membership was for brave Gryffindors like Sirius." She sighed again. "Not that he turned out to be such a shining example of Order membership . . ."

Tonks felt her fingers shake slightly with nerves. "Maybe he is," she said softly.

"What are you talking about?" Andromeda asked wearily. "You know what happened. He betrayed the parents of his godson. He killed one of his best friends and twelve Muggles with one curse." An incredible sadness filled her eyes. "He was more like our family than I ever knew."

"No, Mum, he's not," Tonks said gently.

"Nymphadora, I know how much you loved and respected Sirius when you were a little girl, but you know better now. You can't go on believing in some imaginary hero that just doesn't exist."

"Mum, I'm going to tell you something, but I need you to promise me something first."

"What?"

"Promise me that you'll let me talk, that you'll try your best to believe me, and that you won't yell at me."

Andromeda frowned, but looked curious. "All right."

Tonks drew a deep breath. "Sirius is innocent."

"Nymphadora . . ."

"Keep listening," Tonks said. "You know that he broke out of Azkaban, right?"

"Yes . . ."

"Well, he did that to save Harry Potter."

"To _save_ him?" Andromeda asked incredulously.

"Yes," Tonks said firmly. "He wanted to save him from Peter Pettigrew."

"But Peter Pettigrew is dead! Sirius killed him!"

"No, Mum, that's just what everyone thought." Tonks took another gulp of air, and recounted the actual events that surrounded Peter's "murder."

"How do you know all of this?" Andromeda asked when she had finished speaking. She shook her head. "You know better than to believe everything you hear, love."

"I'm not doing that, Mum! I have this from the best of sources!"

"Who are they?"

"Well, for starters, Remus Lupin," she began.

"Sirius's friend," Andromeda whispered. "You never saw Sirius away from him and James and Peter at Hogwarts." She shook her head again. "Sweetie, he could just be trying to protect Sirius – or even to protect your memory of him."

"I've heard the same story from Moody and Dumbledore," Tonks continued, watching her mother's expression as it changed slightly to reflect the fact that she was beginning to believe all that she had heard. She took a deep breath before revealing her final bit of information. "And I've gotten it from Sirius himself."

"You've seen him?" Andromeda gasped.

"Yes. He's staying at the headquarters of the Order."

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers. "So he really is innocent, then? Dumbledore and Moody are protecting him?"

"Yes, Mum," Tonks said seriously. "We were all wrong about him."

Andromeda was silent for a long time, looking off into space. Tonks leaned forward and gently touched her hand.

"Mum?"

Andromeda turned to face her, looking at her as if just remembering that she was there. "Where is he?" she demanded. "I want to see him! Can you take me there?"

"No," Tonks sighed. "I'm not the Order's Secret Keeper, so I can't do anything. But I can try to arrange it so you can visit him."

"Could you?" She looked away for a moment, then turned back to her daughter. "I haven't seen him in so very long . . . I need to talk to him . . . I need to tell him that I'm sorry."

"He knows," Tonks said softly.

Andromeda shook her head. "After all that the two of us went through together, I should never have doubted him. I can't believe how foolish I was." She sighed. "You'll tell me when I can see him?"

"Yes. I'll talk to him, and to Moody and Dumbledore, as soon as I can."

* * *

Andromeda remained with Tonks for the rest of the morning, asking for moment-by-moment accounts of all the time she had spent with Sirius since his miraculous return. Tonks shared all that she could remember, feeling rather as though she was giving an account of a mission at work. It was nearly noon by the time that Andromeda reluctantly took her leave.

"You'll come for dinner soon, right?" she asked. "Daddy wants to see you."

"I'll come soon," Tonks promised, hugging her mother. "And I'll let you know when you can see Sirius."

"Yes," Andromeda sighed. "I'll see you soon, darling."

"Bye, Mum."

Andromeda Disapparated with a pop, leaving Tonks alone in her kitchen. She looked down, realizing that she had yet to shower and dress. Shaking her head, she went to the bathroom get ready for the day.

She had just pulled on her clothes when she heard a knock at her door. She sighed as she quickly brushed her hair, trying to make herself presentable. _Some people have the worst timing_, was her only thought as she ran through her flat.

"Who is it?" she called cautiously before opening the door.

"Remus Lupin," came the reply.

Tonks gasped, thankful that a barrier of solid oak stood between her and her visitor, preventing him from seeing the flush that was rising in her cheeks.

"Shake it off, Tonks," she whispered to herself. "You're going to spend the entire weekend with him – you have to be able to handle seeing him."

"Tonks?" Remus called.

She took a deep breath, willing her cheeks to return to their normal color, and waved her wand to remove the locking charms on her door.

"Sorry," she said, as she pulled the door open. "Too many locking charms."

He grinned. "Better safe than sorry, I suppose."

"I've been working with Moody too long," she joked. "Come on in. How did you know where to find me?"

"Sirius," he said simply, glancing around her foyer. "You have a really nice place."

"Here, let me show you around," she smiled.

After the short tour that revealed the kitchen, living/dining room and bedroom wing, Tonks took Remus back into the living room.

"Have a seat," she said. "Do you want some coffee or tea?"

"No, I'm fine," he smiled. "I just wanted to see you so that we can work out the details of this weekend."

"I haven't had time to come up with our itinerary yet," she replied.

"That's fine," Remus said, smiling again. "We don't need to worry about our activities yet – but we do need to decide what to tell Sirius so that he doesn't suspect anything."

"Suspect anything?" Tonks repeated with raised eyebrows. Maybe she had misread the situation – maybe Remus had his _own_ itinerary for their weekend together.

"Yes," Remus said. "I plan to be gone before Olivia gets to the house, and I want Sirius to know that I'll be gone for the weekend. I also think that we should tell him that you'll be away this weekend so that he doesn't try to invite you to stay over so he won't have to be home alone."

"Good idea," Tonks said, bringing her thoughts around to his line of thinking. "That's easy enough, I suppose. Moody and Dumbledore have already started sending people on missions – let's just tell him that they've given us an assignment for the weekend."

"That's good," Remus said at once. "Where are they sending us? What do we have to do?"

"Well, I think we should have to go try to make inroads with magical creatures," Tonks said, falling into the spirit of the game. "Maybe vampires?"

"Sounds lovely," Remus said, shivering slightly. She had come dangerously close to revealing his secret. "Okay, so we need to make overtures of friendship to vampires. But we don't know where to find them, so let's say that we're starting research into where the largest colony lives and the best way to get through to them."

"Oo, that's really good!" Tonks said enthusiastically. "So we have to leave on Friday morning, then?"

"Yes, let's go before noon," Remus agreed. "Maybe ten?"

"Whoa, now," Tonks laughed. "No need to get a girl up so early on her day off!"

"Ten is early?" Remus asked, looking at her in confusion. "What time do you normally get up on your days off?"

"Around ten," she said vaguely, thinking that she really meant eleven. She couldn't quite handle shocking him any more than she already had. "But if we're planning to leave at ten, I'd have to be up that much earlier."

Remus laughed. "Okay, we'll leave at eleven, then. Better?"

"Yes," Tonks smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem." Remus pulled a piece of parchment from his robes. "So, we'll leave at eleven," he said, beginning to make notes, "to start on our vampire adventure. Do you want to just come over to the house that morning? We can leave together. That will make it look more natural, right?"

"Good idea," Tonks agreed.

Remus nodded, then continued. "Olivia will get to the house around four, she's decided, so that leaves Sirius five hours on his own."

"Does he need a babysitter?" Tonks laughed.

"I certainly hope not," Remus smiled. "Olivia's already talked to Dana, who is incredibly excited about coming for a visit. She and Laura are planning to get here around five on Sunday, so I want to be home around then."

"That's fine," Tonks said. "I'll make a schedule for our weekend." She paused, wondering if she dared to ask the question that was on the tip of her tongue. After a moment's internal debate, she decided to go for it. "Are you planning to sleep at Grimmauld Place while Olivia's there?"

"Yes," Remus said at once. "I assume we'll be out pretty late each night?"

"Most likely."

He nodded. "I'll Apparate directly into my bedroom, then Apparate back here in the morning in time for an early breakfast."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Tonks asked.

"As long as you can handle being up for an early breakfast, I can handle the Apparation process," Remus smiled.

"Oh, shut it," Tonks grinned, hitting him with a pillow. "There's nothing wrong with a girl liking her sleep."

Remus chuckled. "Try going to bed earlier."

"And waste precious nighttime hours?" Tonks laughed. "Never!"

Remus laughed and shook his head. She was so young – so full of life and energy. He hoped he'd be able to keep up with her over the weekend.

"Have you had lunch yet?" he asked suddenly.

"Nope," she said with a shake of her head.

"Would you like to go get something to eat with me, then?"

"Now?"

"Of course now," Remus smiled. "Do you have better plans?"

"I have to be at work at three," she said, glancing at her watch.

"I promise to have you home in time to go," Remus said.

"All right, then," she said, giving him a beaming smile. "Just let me find my shoes."

* * *

They had a lovely lunch together. As they sat and talked, Remus realized how easy it would be to spend the weekend with her. Tonks was easy to talk to, and fun to laugh with. She was like a breath of fresh air to him. She had a light, bubbly personality that made him feel more like the Remus that he had been in the past, before his wife had died, before his friends had been brutally murdered. It was as though she made him forget all the tragedy in his life. Well, maybe not _forget_ – there were some things that could never be forgotten – but made him feel as though those events were merely a part of his life, rather than his whole life.

With each moment that she spent with him, Tonks knew that her infatuation with Remus was growing stronger. He had a wonderful sense of humor lurking beneath his serious exterior; she found herself laughing at things that he said as often as she made him laugh with her own comments. His intelligence and quick wit challenged her unlike any of the men she had dated or been friends with in the past. And there was a steadiness and strength about him that she had never known in anyone, not even her own parents. Their afternoon together made her even more eager to spend the weekend with him.

It was nearly three by the time that they realized that they needed to leave. Tonks smiled as she stood to her feet.

"Thank you, Remus, for a lovely afternoon," she said. "I'm just sorry that I have to cut it short with work."

"Don't worry about it," he said, putting down the money to cover their bill. "I understand that you have obligations. Besides, I'm sure that we'll see plenty of each other this weekend."

"Yes," she said with a smile. "We will."

"I'm going to tell Sirius that we had a lunch meeting with Moody," Remus said. "He wouldn't be at headquarters now, would he?"

"No," Tonks said slowly. "He's working a nine to five today – which means he'll be at the Ministry from seven to seven."

Remus grinned. "Perfect. I'll tell Sirius that Moody called us here for lunch and gave us our instructions for this weekend."

"Excellent," Tonks replied. She glanced at her watch. "I really need to get to work. Thank you again, Remus."

"Don't mention it," he smiled. "I'll talk to you soon."

"See you," she said, smiling once more before she Disapparated.

Remus only waited a moment, before he, too, Disapparated.

"Would it kill you to do your job for once?"

Remus was startled to hear the roared query as soon as he appeared in the living room of his new home. While Sirius was not visible, Remus knew that he had to be close by. There was no mistaking who had bellowed the rhetorical question.

The door to the living room flew open, and Sirius charged in, his face betraying his rage. Remus looked at him mildly.

"Rough afternoon?" he asked.

"You have no idea," Sirius seethed. "Sometimes I think my aunt had the right idea – I'd rather like to see that elf's head mounted on the wall."

Remus grinned. "Well, at least you and Kreacher have a common goal."

Sirius shook his head. "Where have you been?" he asked, running his hand through his hair as though by smoothing it down, he could smooth his nerves.

Remus hesitated.

Sirius's eyes widened. "Have you been with Tonks all this time?"

"Yes," Remus admitted.

"I knew it!" Sirius exclaimed with a grin. "I knew she had a crush on you! How was your first date?"

Remus laughed. "You've jumped to the wrong conclusion. Moody called both of us out for a lunch meeting."

"Moody? What about?

"He wants us to go on a mission this weekend," Remus said. "He just told us about it today – gave us all the details."

"When do you have to leave?" Sirius asked, unable to hide his disappointment.

"Friday morning."

"And you'll be gone all weekend?"

"I'll be back Sunday evening."

Sirius sighed. "Well, we have to do all we can, I suppose."

"Yes," Remus said quietly. "Anything to help."

* * *

Tonks arrived, as promised, shortly before eleven on Friday morning. She was dressed in her Muggle finest, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Remus, who was in the living room reading the _Daily Prophet_ when she made her appearance, looked a bit apprehensive.

"Should I wear Muggle clothes?"

"That's what Moody said," she replied cheerfully.

"Right," Remus said, wondering what exactly she had planned for them. "I'd better go change, then."

"Hurry," Tonks grinned. "We don't want to be late."

Remus nodded, and left the room. He hurried up the stairs, nearly running into Sirius, who was coming down after feeding Buckbeak.

"When do you leave?" Sirius asked dully. He was not remotely excited at the prospect of spending the weekend alone – all part of Remus's plan.

"As soon as I change," Remus replied. He rolled his eyes. "Apparently, Moody told Tonks that we need to dress like Muggles."

"Well, I have to admit that I'm jealous," Sirius sighed. "I wish I could be out there doing something. All I do here is babysit Buckbeak."

"Untrue," Remus said, starting to climb the stairs again. "You also man our headquarters – and do your best to make it livable."

Sirius grinned. "To that end, I'll do my best to get rid of Kreacher."

Remus laughed as he disappeared down the hallway. Sirius sighed, and continued his trek down the stairs to join Tonks in the living room.

When Remus entered the sitting room fifteen minutes later wearing jeans and a polo shirt, Sirius and Tonks were engaged in a rather animated discussion. As Remus crossed the threshold in the room, Tonks erupted into peals of laughter. For some reason, the sight of her laughing made him smile. He didn't stop to analyze that fact; he merely stepped all the way into the room.

"Are you ready, Tonks?"

"I see that you are," she replied, turning to look at him. She had stopped laughing, but was still grinning. "You look very nice, Professor."

"Too teacher?" he asked, looking down at his clothes.

"No, you're fine," she said, getting to her feet. "Well, Sirius, we'll just be off, then. Have a nice weekend."

"Funny," Sirius replied. "You guys be careful, okay? I don't want anything to happen to either of you."

"We'll be fine," Remus assured him. He looked down at Tonks, who had stepped up beside him. "After you."

She nodded, and closed her eyes to Disapparate. Remus gave Sirius one last smile, then followed her.

As previously arranged, they both Apparated into Tonks's flat. When Remus opened his eyes again, she was rummaging through her desk for something.

"I feel a bit guilty," he admitted.

"Me, too," she said. "He did look rather dejected, didn't he?"

"Well, he thinks he's going to have to be alone all weekend," Remus said. "Wouldn't you feel a bit dejected?"

"He won't in a few hours," Tonks grinned. She straightened up, tucking something into her pocket. "Are you ready for our first day on the town?"

"What exactly are we doing?"

"We're going to an amusement park!"

"To a what?"

"An amusement park," Tonks replied. "I already got us tickets and everything."

"Have you been to one before, then?"

"Yes," she said. "This one is my favorite of all time." She looked at him curiously. "You've been to an amusement park, haven't you?"

"No," Remus admitted. "My grandmother always wanted to take me when I was little, but . . ." He smiled sheepishly. "If I'm honest, I just wasn't interested. I figured that if it didn't involve magic, it didn't need to involve _me_."

"You are so narrow-minded," she said. She grabbed his hand, and dragged him to the door. "Come on, Lupin. It's time for you to have a little fun in your life."

"You don't think I have fun?"

She looked at him critically for a moment. "Maybe you do. But it's not enough. And I am going to make sure that you have lots of fun this weekend – even if it kills us both!"

* * *

"Well, I _could_ clean something," Sirius said to himself, surveying the house. "But why do that when I have Kreacher to do it for me?"

"Master is wanting something?" Kreacher asked, slinking out of the shadows.

"Just to be alone," Sirius said harshly. "Go clean the kitchen, Kreacher. It needs to look nice for when the Weasleys get here on Monday."

"Clean the kitchen for the blood traitors," Kreacher muttered under his breath. "As if Kreacher doesn't have enough work . . ."

"You don't have enough work if you have time to mumble like that," Sirius said harshly. "Get to work."

He turned away before he could see his order disobeyed, and climbed the steps to the attic. He was fully prepared to spend the weekend with the only living creature in the house at the moment who didn't irritate him with his mere presence.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Tonks asked with a grin as they prepared to step into the amusement park.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Remus replied.

"Okay," Tonks said, still grinning. "Let's go!"

As they stepped through the gates, a child's dream world appeared before them. Remus felt his eyes open wide and a grin spread across his face as he looked around. He turned his head from side to side, trying to take it all in. The rides, the shops, the restaurants, the games, the vendors selling treats . . .

"It's all too much," he breathed.

"We'll go slowly," Tonks laughed. "Come on, Remus. We need to get you on a ride!"

"What are we going to ride?"

"We'll start small," Tonks replied. "But I'll have you on the biggest roller coaster here before the day is over!"

Remus was about to ask what exactly a roller coaster was, but his question died on his lips as he saw a child walk past eating cotton candy. He looked at the treat for a moment, then turned to Tonks with wide eyes.

"We'll get some later," she laughed. "Let's hit the rides!"

* * *

Sirius wondered how he had ever lived on his own. Apparently, he had forgotten how to do so during the last few months spent living with Remus. His ability to keep himself company had diminished to zero. After spending only fifteen minutes with Buckbeak, he had grown bored with him. He had spent most of the day wandering aimlessly around the house, finally settling in the living room with the paper.

He threw aside the _Prophet_, reminding himself yet again that the reporters did not know what they were talking about. Reading what they said about Harry was enough to make him physically ill. He hoped that Harry did not receive the paper at home – he didn't know how he would handle it.

His thoughts still with Harry, he crossed to his desk. Maybe he would write to his godson. He hadn't heard from him in over a week. He wanted to make sure that he was still safe.

He had no more than pulled out his parchment and quill when the fireplace sprang to life. Sirius jumped in his chair, spinning around to see who was coming into the house. Nothing could have prepared him for the shock that met his eyes.

She climbed out of the grate as gracefully as possible, raising her head as she brushed her blond hair back out of her eyes. She straightened up to her full height and surveyed the room slowly, her eyes finally falling on Sirius.

Remus was right. He looked the same, but different. He was still the man he had always been, but not. Everything was the same, but everything had changed.

Olivia wanted desperately to say hello, but her voice died in her throat. She wanted to go to him, but her limbs were incapable of movement. She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry, she wanted to run, to jump, to yell, but all she could do was stare at him in silence as her eyes filled with tears.

Sirius stared at her in complete and utter disbelief. How could she be here? Where had she come from? How could just looking at her still make his heart skip a beat? Even as she stared at him with teary eyes, he felt himself doing exactly the same thing, unable to move any closer to her.

"Liv," he finally managed to rasp past the lump in his throat.

The whispered nickname was all it took. As though moving of one accord, they both lunged toward one another, falling into each other's arms as they had so many times in the past. Just being like this, holding her as he always had . . . Sirius's tears began in earnest, falling down onto her hair as he kissed the top of her head again and again.

"I can't believe it," he said over and over. "I can't believe it's really you."

She began to sob against him, clinging to him to stay on her feet. "Oh, Sirius, oh, Sirius," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry . . . I wish . . ."

"Stop," he said, tipping her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "Don't do that now. Please. Just let us have this moment."

"Sirius," she whispered.

After looking into her eyes for what felt like an eternity, he lowered his lips to hers.

Their first kiss since the night that Lily and James had died nearly took their breath away. What began as a sweet, innocent kiss between two former lovers quickly changed into the passionate kiss that they had perfected once upon a time. As they sank down onto the couch, kissing and touching one another as though they would never have another chance, Sirius silently thanked Moody for taking Remus away for the weekend.

* * *

"Okay," Tonks said as they stepped off the carousel. "I think we've tried out pretty much all the tame rides. Shall we try a roller coaster?"

"What's that?" Remus asked, still grinning from ear to ear. He was sure he hadn't stopped smiling since they had first walked into the park.

"You know," she said with a teasing smile, "I think I'll let you find out on your own. You like surprises, right?"

"That depends on the surprise," Remus replied, falling into step next to her as she led the way to the next ride.

"Well, I think this will be a good surprise."

"Can we get some cotton candy?" he asked, seeing the tenth child in a row walking by with the sugary treat.

"No food until after the roller coaster," Tonks said firmly. "Believe me, that's for the best. Or do you have an iron stomach?"

"Not much makes me sick," Remus said.

"All the same," Tonks said as they stepped up to one of the park's smaller coasters, "I think we'd better wait."

Remus looked at it in awe. "Where do we get on?"

"The line's this way," she said.

They chatted about nothing and everything as they waited in line. Remus frowned slightly when he realized how long it had taken them to reach the platform where they would board the ride.

"Problems?" Tonks asked lightly.

"This seems to be a bit slower than the other lines," Remus replied.

She grinned. "That's because this ride is so much more fun than the other rides."

"Really?"

"Really."

Remus smiled as they moved to the front of the line. The train stopped in front of them, and the previous riders got out. Remus climbed into the car after Tonks, and they strapped themselves in. He turned to her with a smile.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?" she asked with a puzzled smile.

"For bringing me here – for forcing me to have fun."

"Anytime," she grinned. The ride began to move. "Hang on!"

Remus laughed, his anticipation building as they rounded the first curve. Out of nowhere, the car pitched downward, falling into the first steep hill. Taken completely by surprise, Remus yelled out. Laughing at his reaction, Tonks screamed with him.

"Are you still thanking me?" she yelled as they shot around another curve.

"Absolutely!" Remus yelled, clinging to the handles as they raced down another hill. "This is brilliant!"

* * *

Sirius laid down against the back of the couch, holding Olivia tightly against him. She pillowed her head against his bare chest.

"Do you know how long I have dreamed of holding you like this?" Sirius whispered, leaning down to kiss her exposed shoulder.

"Yes," she whispered hoarsely. "I've wished for it just as often." She turned so that she could look into his eyes. "I know you stopped me from saying it before, but I just want to tell you how sorry I am. I should have believed in you. I should have known that you would never do anything to hurt James and Lily. I should have . . . I don't know. I just feel so responsible for everything."

Sirius sighed, and looked away from her. "It happened so long ago, Liv . . ."

"I know," she said quietly. "We lost so many years."

He turned to look at her again. "It's not your fault," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "I can't blame you any more than I can blame Remus or Dumbledore. I was an Auror, too, Liv. I know how it is. You're trained to look at the evidence, and to believe that evidence. All the evidence said that I was their Secret Keeper. I told you so myself. Even at the end, when I realized that we had been wrong, that Peter had been the spy all along, I didn't tell you the truth." He sighed, and looked away. "It was my own fault. I made too many mistakes, and they all caught up with me. I've paid for them again and again. But for what I did to James and Lily . . . for the torment I put Harry through . . . I deserved every moment in Azkaban."

"You didn't know, Sirius," Olivia said softly. "How could you have known that Peter would do such a thing? None of us ever suspected him. He just . . . He didn't seem the type, did he?"

Sirius laughed mirthlessly. "I never dreamed that Voldemort would be reduced to using the weak and talentless to help his cause."

"Maybe he just wasn't as weak as we had always thought."

"No, I suppose not."

Olivia settled back down against him. "Can we please talk about something other than Peter now?"

"Of course," Sirius said, wrapping his arms around her more tightly. "What would you like to talk about?"

"You and me," she smiled. "Us."

"I like that idea," Sirius said, leaning down to kiss her. "What have you done since my unfortunate incarceration?"

"I've lived in France."

"Remus told me that. He said you work for the Auror division there?"

"Yes. Moody really helped me out. He made sure that I got the transfer when I wanted it."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes," she said. She sighed. "But right now, I wish I was here. I hate the idea that you're in London and I'm in France."

"But you can come and visit, just like you are right now. And maybe someday Dumbledore will let me out in the open again, and I'll be able to visit you."

"I hope so," she said, reaching up to kiss his jaw. "I miss you, Sirius. I've missed you so much ever since that day when you left . . . When Remus told me that you were back in our lives, that you were innocent . . . I can't even tell you how much it has killed me to stay away from you."

"Why did you stay away for so long?"

"You were on the run at first," she reminded him. "Then Remus said I had to wait until it was safe." She paused, then continued in a whisper. "Then I was afraid."

"Afraid?"

"Yes. I was afraid of seeing you again."

"But why?" Sirius asked, truly bewildered.

"Sirius," she sighed. "Do you realize how many years it's been?"

"Fourteen," Sirius replied.

"Exactly! Fourteen years!" Tears filled her eyes. "For the longest time, I hated you. I never wanted to see you again."

Sirius looked away. "I suppose I can understand that," he said stiffly.

"And then Remus came and told me that you were innocent," she said, reaching up to touch his chin, forcing him to look into her eyes. "It was as if the previous twelve years had never happened. It was as if nothing had changed.

"But it had. Everything had changed. We had gotten so much older . . . I was afraid that we had become different people. I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to connect like we had before."

"I think we've already proven that we still can," Sirius said, tightening his arms around her.

"I think so, too," she said quietly, giving him a seductive smile.

He looked at her for a moment, then kissed her. "What do you say we talk more later?"

"That's a brilliant idea."

* * *

"So? What did you think?" Tonks asked as she and Remus left the park.

"I had so much fun," he grinned. "Thank you again for making me come here. I just wish we could stay longer."

She smiled. "Well, I think the park officials would have some problems with that, since they need to close. But we can come back sometime, if you'd like."

"I would," Remus smiled. He glanced around. "Where do we go to Disapparate?"

"Over here," she said, indicating an empty place in the corner of the parking lot. "Do you want to come back to my place for a bit?"

Remus looked at his watch. "Yeah, it's still a bit early to go home. Do you mind?"

"Not a bit," she said cheerfully. They had reached their Apparition point. "See you there!"

She Disapparated; Remus followed right behind her. When he opened his eyes in her flat, she was waving her wand to turn on the lights.

"That's better," she said. "Now we can see what we're doing."

"How long have you lived here?" Remus asked curiously.

"Six months," she replied, sitting down on the couch. "I know it looks like longer with all the clutter, but I'm a bit of a packrat."

Remus grinned, taking a seat in the chair facing her. "Didn't your mother teach you to be organized?"

"She tried," Tonks sighed. "Desperately, in fact. I guess I'm too much like my dad."

"He's Muggle-born, right?"

"Right."

Remus nodded. "So is my dad."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah. It was his mother who always tried to get me to go to amusement parks and other Muggle events with her." He paused. "I'm starting to feel guilty for not letting her take me. She was just trying to show me that the Muggle world has things that can be as fun as anything I did at school."

"Didn't your dad try to get you to go with her?"

"No. He wanted me to make my own decisions, I guess."

"My dad made me do all sorts of Muggle things when I was little," Tonks replied. "I think he and my mum wanted to make sure that I was as far from her family's stance on the dark arts and pure-blood mania as possible."

"That makes sense."

"Your parents weren't worried about that?"

"They knew that I could never be that way."

"Oh," she said with a laugh, "so sorry to insult you by assuming that you might think that Voldemort and the Death Eaters have the right idea."

"Why would I?" Remus asked. "I mean, my dad isn't a pure-blood. My grandmother was a Muggle. What about that would suggest that I'd end up believing Voldemort?"

"Enough people like you do," Tonks sighed. "Look at Snape. He was a Death Eater, and he's not a pure-blood."

"I guess that's true." He wanted to tell her that he had more reason than most for avoiding Voldemort, but decided to remain silent. He had just spent a wonderful day with her, but he was not yet ready to share his secret. He had no idea how she would react. It was just too soon.

"What time do you want to get started tomorrow?" Tonks asked, realizing that Remus was uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

"Maybe nine?" he suggested.

"So early," she sighed.

Remus laughed. "How about if I bring breakfast? Will that make it better?"

"It's a start," Tonks said with an exaggerated sigh.

Remus laughed again. "I should probably get home so that you can get your rest. I know how evil I am for making you get up so early."

"I'll forgive you in time," she said, still in mocked agony over the thought of such an early morning. "It may take some therapy . . . and if it does, I'll be sure to send you the bills."

"Just don't expect them to be paid," he laughed. He stood up, touching her shoulder lightly. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night," she said as he Disapparated.

Once he was gone, she sat in her living room for a long time, going over every moment of their day together in her mind. She had had a wonderful time, and could hardly wait to do it all again the next day.

* * *

Sirius opened his eyes the next morning to see Olivia lying next to him in bed. He smiled, and reached out to touch her bare back. She jumped slightly, turning her head to look at him. As her eyes fell on his face, a smile stretched across her lips.

"Good morning," she said softly.

"Good morning," Sirius replied. "Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I have in fourteen years," she said. She rolled over so that she was lying in his arms. "Can we just stay like this all day?"

"Sounds perfect to me," Sirius said, pressing his lips against her temple. "I'm so glad that Moody sent Remus away for the weekend."

Olivia giggled. "I'm afraid I should confess something."

"What?" Sirius asked, completely confused.

"Remus left because I was coming. Moody had nothing to do with it."

"But what do you mean? He and Tonks . . ." Understanding dawned. "Tonks is in on this, too, isn't she?"

"Yes. They were afraid that you'd ask her to stay with you once Remus told you he was leaving."

"I probably would have, too," Sirius grinned. "So the three of you worked together on this?"

"Yes."

He laughed. "Well, it's a brilliant surprise. I'll have to thank Remus and Tonks – repeatedly."

"They'll be back tomorrow evening." She paused. "Dana and Laura are coming tomorrow, too."

"Really?" Sirius asked, grinning broadly. "That's brilliant! I can't wait to see them again!"

"Remus said that's what you'd say."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Where did Remus and Tonks go, if they're not off hunting vampires for Moody?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," Olivia replied. "Remus just said that he would make himself scarce. He didn't say how exactly he would do that."

"If Tonks is involved, I'm sure he's having fun."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I think she has a bit of a crush on our Remus."

Olivia laughed. "Very Hogwarts of you, Sirius."

"I know, I know. Remus said the same thing when I told him. But, really, I think she has a little crush on him!"

"Who wouldn't?" Olivia asked. "He's a sweetheart, and he's quite handsome – he doesn't realize it, which makes him even more attractive."

"You sound quite familiar with the feeling," Sirius said a bit stiffly.

Olivia laughed. "Please don't start thinking that I'm in love with Remus! He's a good friend – probably the best friend I've ever had – but I've never thought of him in any way except for that."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. "Olivia . . ."

"Yes?"

He drew a deep breath. "I was gone for a long time, you know."

"I know."

"Was there anyone else? Did you fall in love? Are you in love?"

She rolled onto her stomach so that she could look up at him. "I dated other men, yes," she said honestly.

"Oh," Sirius said, unsure of how to respond.

"But listen to me," she continued. "None of them could ever take your place in my life or in my heart. I never – Sirius, I never loved any of them. I was never _in_ love with them. I never felt about them the way I felt about you."

"Felt?" he said softly.

She reached up to touch his cheek. "It's been fourteen years, Sirius. Can you honestly say that you still love me the same way you loved me then?"

"I could," Sirius said. He paused. "I rarely let myself think about you when I was Azkaban, Liv. Every time I thought of you, it would make me happy, and the dementors would attack me, sucking all the happiness out of my mind. When they were done with me, all I could remember were the bad times – when we weren't speaking during seventh year, when we broke up after Remus and Laura got married. I stopped letting myself think about you because I couldn't bear to think of you that way.

"But when I escaped . . . I thought of two people constantly. You and Harry. I had to get to Harry, to protect him . . . and I had to get to you to pick up where we left off."

"You're saying you want to give us another try?" Olivia asked.

"If you're willing to do it, so am I."

She looked deeply into his eyes for a moment, feeling tears forming in hers. "I've never stopped loving you," she said hoarsely. "Not really."

"Are you saying . . .?"

"We can't pick up exactly where we left off," she said. "But I think we can start over. Maybe we'll be able to build something stronger. I'm willing to give it a try."

"How exactly are we going to define our relationship?"

She looked at him for a moment, then got up out of bed. She crossed to the chair she had thrown her clothes on, and rummaged through her pockets. She finally found what she was looking for, and returned to Sirius, who was now sitting up in bed.

"Do you remember this?" she asked, extending her palm so that he could see the ring resting on it.

"It's your engagement ring," he said at once. His eyes rounded. "Are you saying . . .?"

"I want to wear it again," she said. "But I want to wear it on my right hand instead of my left."

"What will that mean?"

"It will mean that we're trying again," she said. "If we decide that we want to be engaged again, that we still want to get married, I'll move it to my left hand."

Sirius reached down to take the ring from her. He took her right hand in his, and slid the ring over her third finger, kissing it when it was firmly in place.

* * *

"What's on the agenda for today?" Remus asked as he and Tonks cleaned up the remnants of their breakfast.

"Well, we _were_ going to go to the park and then to see a rugby match," Tonks said, looking out the window as though wishing she could curse the entire world. "Unfortunately, this rain is sort of ruining my plans for a day outdoors."

"Alternative plans?" Remus asked.

"What do you say to just renting a movie and staying in? Maybe the rain will clear up later so that we can go out."

"Renting a movie?"

Tonks laughed. "You're killing me, Lupin! Killing me!"

"I already told you that I didn't do this sort of thing as a child!"

She laughed again, and grabbed his hand. "Come on. We're going to the video store!"

Remus followed her out of her flat and down the stairs to the street. It wasn't until they reached the street that she realized she was still holding his hand. She glanced at him, wondering if he had noticed. He didn't seem perturbed, but she wasn't sure exactly what that meant. She didn't really want to release her hold on his hand, but she also didn't want him to think that she was under the impression that they were dating. She decided to compromise by pulling on his hand as though to hurry him along.

"Is there a chance the store will go out of business before we get there?" Remus asked, lengthening his strides to keep up with her quick steps.

"You never know," she laughed. "Come on! I want to get out of this rain!"

They hurried down the street hand-in-hand. Tonks finally released his hand when they reached the video store. Remus held the door open for her; she passed ahead of him into the room packed full of movies.

"What genre should we go for?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," he replied, wondering why she would ask him. She knew very well that he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.

"All right," she said. "We'll get a few different movies. That way, if you don't like something I pick we'll have back up."

"Good plan," Remus agreed.

They spent nearly an hour in the video store. Once Remus discovered that the backs of the boxes contained synopses of the movies, he began to voice opinions on what they should watch. Tonks laughed as he was drawn again and again to the older movies.

"Do you want to watch anything that was made after 1955?" she teased.

"If it's still around, it must be good," he defended. He glanced at the boxes in her hands. "Have you picked anything made before 1990?"

"These are the new classics," she replied with a laugh. "We'd better get out of here. There's no way we'll ever be able to watch all of these!"

They paid for their movies – or, rather, Tonks, who had Muggle money with her, paid for their movies – and stepped back out into the rain.

"Ugh," Tonks said. "It's raining harder!"

"Are you afraid you'll melt?" Remus teased.

"I might," she said. "Come on, I'll race you home!"

Before Remus had a chance to protest, she ran off. He shook his head, then took off at a run after her.

* * *

"Tell me about France."

Olivia turned to Sirius with a smile. They had finally pulled themselves out of bed, and were sitting in the kitchen, eating a late lunch. "What do you want to know?" she asked.

"Anything you want to tell."

"Well, I have a beautiful villa," she said. "We live in southern France, near the coast."

"'We?'" Sirius repeated.

"I live down the street from Dana," Olivia clarified. She smiled, and touched his hand. "I already told you, there hasn't been anyone else – at least, no one worth mentioning."

"All right," Sirius said. "So, you and Dana live in beautiful villas. What else?"

"Well, Dana is a Healer, of course. We try to work it out so our schedules are similar. It's really nice to have her there to do things with. This time of year, we spend a lot of time with Laura."

"Tell me about her," Sirius said. "Remus said she reminds him of us."

"She's a lot like we were at that age," Olivia agreed with a smile. "I've had a lot of fun watching her grow up." Her smile faded. "The hardest part was thinking that I should have been able to be a part of Harry's life the same way. They're almost the same age, you know."

"I remember," Sirius said, thinking of the one time that Harry and Laura had met as babies. "Who does she look like? Dana or Aidan?"

"My first instinct is to say Dana, but she as a lot of Aidan in her, too," Olivia replied. "She's a very pretty girl – and she knows it, too. She dated a bit last year – had two different boyfriends, from what I've heard."

"My, my," Sirius laughed. "What year was that for her?"

"Her third," Olivia laughed. "Of course, Dana doesn't know anything about these boyfriends, so don't say anything when you see her."

"I'll try to remember that," Sirius laughed. "How did you find out?"

"A girl has to tell _someone_," Olivia grinned. "To my knowledge, she didn't tell Remus, either. That's like letting your dad know."

"She sees him as a father figure?"

"Very much. He's been wonderful with her. It makes me think . . ."

"What?" Sirius prompted.

Olivia sighed. "It just makes me sad for him. He would have been a brilliant father. It's a shame he never got the chance."

"He's still young," Sirius said. "We all are."

"I suppose," she said. "I'm glad he has her, though."

"So am I," Sirius said softly. "She means the world to him."

"And he means the world to her."

* * *

They had started out sitting at opposite sides of the couch with a bowl of popcorn in between them. Now, nearly three movies later, Remus was lying on the floor while Tonks was sprawled across the couch, watching the closing credits of their third movie.

"What did you think?" asked Tonks, who had chosen the film.

"I liked it," Remus said. "The children were good actors."

"Yeah, I think so," she agreed. She rolled off the couch to eject the tape. "What would you like to watch next?"

"What are our options?"

"We have a horror movie, a comedy or a chick flick."

"Chick flick?" Remus repeated with a frown.

"Yeah," Tonks said. "They're sappy stories that make you cry. They're made for women, so they're called chick flicks."

Remus laughed. "I'll go for either the horror movie or the comedy, then."

"Men!" Tonks laughed. "So close-minded."

"I'm very open-minded," Remus said, getting up to stand next to her so that he could read the descriptions of the movies.

Tonks held her breath as he stood so close she could touch him by barely moving. She looked up to watch him as he read. She looked at his face, noticing the scars that crossed it for the first time.

"How did you do that?" Tonks asked, looking up at him.

"Do what?" he asked absently, taking one of the boxes from her hands.

"How did you get that scar?"

Remus stiffened. "I have a lot of scars, Tonks," he said, stepping away from her.

"Yes, I can see that," she said. "I never really noticed them before. How did you get them?"

He did some rapid thinking. He could make up some story – after years of friendship with Sirius and James, he was very good at cover stories. He could brush off her question, pretending that he didn't know what had happened. Or he could tell her the truth.

They were going to be working together very closely. She was bound to find out sometime. He just never imagined that it would be so soon. He crossed to turn off the television.

"Sit down, please," he said.

"Remus, what's going on?" she asked, lowering herself onto the couch.

"Tonks, there is no easy way to say this," he said, sitting down next to her. "But I want you to understand right now that if you don't want anything to do with me after I tell you, I'll understand. I won't think any less of you if you tell me to just go home."

"Remus, what on earth are you talking about?"

He drew a deep breath. "I gave myself the scars," he said.

"Are you a cutter?" she whispered. "I knew a girl in Auror training –"

"No, I'm not a cutter," he interrupted. "Tonks, I'm a werewolf."

She looked at him for a long moment, wanting to laugh. The very idea was ludicrous! Remus was a calm, stable man with a sweet disposition and wicked sense of humor. There was no way . . .

Yet, as she looked into his eyes and saw the pain and fear reflected there, she knew he wasn't lying. He had just divulged one of his deepest secrets to her, and was waiting in horrified suspense to see her reaction.

"How long?" she asked quietly.

"Since I was six," he said softly.

"Who else knows?"

"My parents, Sirius, Olivia, Dana, Dumbledore, Moody," he said. "My sister-in-law . . . Peter . . ."

"Peter knows?" she said, choosing to overlook the reference, however slight, to his wife.

"Yes."

"Do you . . . Remus, do you think that Voldemort knows?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Probably." He looked deeply into her eyes. "My bigger concern, Tonks, is how you feel about it."

She reached down to put her hand over his on the couch. "Remus, you are what you are. You can't control that. But you can control the person you become. Of what you can control in your life, I think you've done a smashing job." She smiled slightly. "You're a wonderful person, and I don't think any less of you for something that you can't help. That would be like you hating me because I'm a metamorphmagus."

He smiled slightly. "You amaze me."

She flushed. "It's not such a difficult thing to be accepting."

"It is for most people," he said softly. "Thank you, Tonks."

She smiled. "Don't mention it."

* * *

"Sirius?"

"Hm?" Sirius asked, pulling her closer in the darkness of his bedroom.

She rolled over so that her chin was against his chest as they laid in bed together. "Will you tell me about Azkaban?"

He was quiet for a long moment, running his fingers through her hair. "What do you want to know?" he asked at last.

"Anything you'd like to tell me."

He sighed. "Have you been there before? To question a prisoner?"

"No," she admitted. "Being in France, I don't deal with any of the prisoners once they've been sent back to the UK."

Sirius nodded. "I didn't think so. I had never seen you there."

"I think that Moody wanted to keep me away," she added. "I don't think he wanted me to have to see you like that."

"That's a good thing," Sirius said. "It's – it's like a living hell, Liv. There are other prisoners – you know that because you can hear them screaming – but you're really there on your own. You're trapped inside your head, listening to the voices that your mind produces. You replay every experience you've ever had in your life over and over. You learn to avoid the good memories, because the dementors will feed on them, leaving you with the horrible memories. For the first two months, all I could think about was finding James and Lily's bodies, and Hagrid taking Harry away from me. Then I started to remember seeing Mrs. Potter's body, Mr. Potter dying to save me, Laura's funeral, Peter blowing all those people up . . . That was the memory that saved me, really."

"The memory of Peter killing all those people?"

"Yes. Because it couldn't hurt me."

"I don't understand," she frowned.

"It wasn't a happy memory, so the dementors didn't bother me when I had it," he said. "But it wasn't completely sad, because every time I thought of it, I remembered that I was innocent. I remembered that Peter was the one at fault. It gave me a desire for revenge – like I said, not exactly a happy thing. But it was like a slow-burning fire that kept me alive. It helped me keep my mind. And that helped me transform."

"You transformed?"

"Yes. The dementors never bothered with me when I was a dog. Animal emotions are less complex, so they don't waste their time on them." He kissed her hair. "Please, Liv, don't make me think about it anymore."

"I won't," she said. She kissed him. "We'll just concentrate on right now, and on each other."

"I believe you've found my favorite topic," he said, kissing her again.

* * *

"Do you want to come back with me?" Remus asked as he prepared to leave Tonks's flat on Sunday afternoon.

"No, you go," she said.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. You guys are all old friends – you don't need Sirius's little cousin hanging around."

"You _are_ your own person, you know," Remus grinned. "I don't think of you as Sirius's little cousin – not anymore."

She smiled. "That's sweet, but I'm still going to say no. You have fun."

"All right," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow at the meeting. Thank you for a lovely weekend."

"Don't mention it," she smiled. "We'll have to do it again sometime."

"Or at least parts of it," Remus laughed. "The whole thing again at once might be too much for this old man."

Tonks laughed, and shook her head. "My dad is old, Remus. You're not."

"Well, that's very sweet." He winked at her. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," she replied.

Remus Apparated into the kitchen of their headquarters. He looked around the empty room, wondering where exactly he could find his friends. Assuming that the living room would be a safe bet, he started in that direction.

"Remus!"

He laughed as Olivia threw her arms around him as he entered the living room. "Hi, Liv. Had a good weekend?"

"You have no idea," she said, kissing his cheek. "Thank you so much."

"Remus," Sirius said, clapping him on the back as Olivia released him. "Thank you, mate."

Remus grinned. "Still angry about staying home alone?"

"Ha ha," Sirius replied. He looked around behind Remus. "Where's Tonks?"

"She stayed home. She said we needed some time without her."

"How was your weekend with her?" Sirius asked with a knowing grin.

"Very nice," Remus replied.

He did not have a chance to elaborate; the fireplace jumped to life. As they watched, a young woman appeared in the swirling flames.

"Laura!" Remus exclaimed as she climbed out of the grate.

"Uncle Remus!" She launched herself across the room, jumping into his arms. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you, too, doll," Remus grinned, holding her close. "Where's your mum?"

"Right here," Dana said as she stepped out of the grate. Her eyes swung from Remus, who was still holding her daughter, to Sirius. She let out a shriek, and rushed forward to hug him.

"Hi, Dana," Sirius exclaimed, lifting her off the ground in a bear hug.

"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius!" she cried. "I can't believe it! How are you? How have you been? Were you surprised?"

Sirius laughed. "Fine, fine, and yes."

She laughed with him, and kissed his cheek. "Come here and meet my daughter."

Remus released Laura, who stepped forward. Sirius looked at her with bright eyes, remembering the baby he had held so many years ago. Like Harry, she had grown up without him. Like Harry, she had gone from a baby to a young adult. And like Harry, she was looking at him as though he were the missing piece to the puzzle of her past.

"Sirius, this is my Laura. Laura, this is Sirius Black, one of my friends."

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Black," she said, holding out her hand.

"Well, Miss McKinley, you are being far too formal with me," he said, taking her hand. He pulled her closer, into a warm embrace. "You may feel free to call me Sirius."

She giggled as he released her. "And you may call me Laura."

"That's better," he grinned. "Now we're friends."

He looked at her closely, trying to see for himself who she resembled. His first impression, as Olivia had suggested, was that she looked like Dana. But when she smiled, when she laughed, she looked more like Aidan. _A perfect melding of her two parents_, he thought. While Harry was his father in miniature, this little girl stood out as a combination of the two people who had given her life.

"Let's sit down," Remus said. "I think we have quite a bit of catching up to do."


	9. Organization

A/N: I'm sorry this took awhile – I've been really busy lately. I'm not making any promises on when I'll have the next chapter done. It'll definitely be within two weeks, but that's all I can say for right now.

This chapter is sort of "bridge" between the last chapter and the next one. It covers some important stuff, but it doesn't catapult the plot forward. I hope you like it anyway!

**SgtPepper592:** Yes, I do plan to have Laura's family make an appearance. Remus does keep in contact with them, but he's not visiting one of them every other day. They have a good relationship, though, which is going to give him even more guilt issues … keep reading!

**LinwëTook:** There's no special reason, other than Sirius's search for his friends. He's lost a lot of his life, and he's trying to find it again anywhere that he can. Also, in life in general, everyone wants to know "who the baby looks like," and, as Sirius has admitted, he has trouble remembering that Laura isn't a baby anymore.

**patsfan1254:** Yes, they'll see each other again. Remember, Harry and the others never _meet_ Olivia – that doesn't necessarily mean she's not there at the same time as they are. It's a big house!

**highlandhottie:** Laura and Harry won't get to meet in this story. Sorry, but I'm going to keep it canon.

**LogicalRaven:** Gulp. Remus is fourteen years older than Tonks, according to my first story, which is when she was born. I will admit to "soap opera aging" Tonks in my mind to make it closer to a ten or eleven year age difference, because fourteen is a bit much for me to handle! But, if you want to stick to straight facts (from my stories, at least), he's about 36 and she's about 22.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Organization

Olivia, Dana and Laura stayed with Sirius and Remus for hours. The adults reminisced about their childhood at Hogwarts and their adulthood in England while Laura listened raptly. She loved to hear stories about the time before her mother had moved to France, before her father had died. Many of their stories were about Lily and James; she loved those even more. The devotion that they still showed to their fallen friends so many years after their deaths amazed her.

"You were supposed to marry James and Lily's Harry, you know," Sirius grinned, nodding at Laura.

"What?" she asked, completely taken by surprise.

"Oh, yes," Olivia laughed. "Your mother and Lily spent hours discussing how the two of you would go to Hogwarts together and be the best of friends."

"Then, when you got older, you would start dating," Sirius continued with a grin. "Once you graduated, you were going to get married. I believe that they actually had a preliminary guest list for your wedding."

"Oh, Sirius, we did not," Dana laughed. A sadness crept into her eyes. "You know we never made it that far."

"But you really wanted me to marry Harry Potter?" Laura asked incredulously.

"Of course," Dana said with a smile. "He was my best friends' son. Naturally, we wanted the two of you to get married. It was mostly Lily and I who made the plans – James and your dad just laughed at us."

"I can remember James introducing Laura to Harry as his future wife," Remus put in. "They were so small . . . Sirius, do you remember that? It was when the girls went off shopping or something and left us in charge of Harry and Laura."

"Yeah," Sirius grinned. "That was the only other time that I met you, Laura. I can remember holding you . . . you were so little. And you were a beautiful baby. I knew you'd be the perfect match for Harry."

"But I've never even _met_ Harry!" Laura exclaimed.

"It was all just a joke, really, sweetie," Dana smiled. "We didn't _really_ expect you to marry him. Of course, if it happened that way . . ." She trailed off and smiled again. "But we live in France and Harry lives here. I knew, and Lily knew, that when I moved to France it became an impossible dream. But we didn't care, because we were never truly serious about it to begin with." She paused. "Every parent imagines their child marrying their best friend's child. It seems like the perfect way to unite the families. But no one ever really expects it to happen."

Laura smiled, her thoughts spinning around in her head. What if things had happened differently? What if she had grown up in England? What if she had gone to Hogwarts? Would she and Harry be the friends that their mothers had always hoped they would be? Would they have become "something more" than friends?

"There are a lot of unknowns in life, Laura," Remus said as though he had read her thoughts. "People like to guess at what might happen. But that doesn't mean they expect it to happen, or even that it _should_ happen. I think that the life that we actually live is generally better than the life we could have imagined for ourselves. The uncertainty, the not knowing, makes it so much more interesting."

She looked at him with a smile. "I'm sure you're right."

"I know I am," he replied with a smile of his own. "Before you were born, I never could have imagined how incredibly special you'd become to me."

Her smile widened, and she blew him a kiss. He smiled, and blew a kiss back to her.

Dana glanced up as the grandfather clock chimed twelve. "My goodness, I didn't realize how late it was! Laura, we need to get home."

"Do we have to go?"

"Yes. You know that it's an hour later at home than it is here. Come on, we'll Floo back right now."

"All right," she sighed, standing up. She turned to Sirius. "It was nice to meet you."

"Still so formal," he grinned. He hugged her tightly. "I'm glad I finally got the chance to see you all grown up." He released her and touched her cheek. "You're even prettier than I imagined."

She smiled, flushing slightly. "Thank you."

"You'll come to visit me again, won't you?"

"If Mum lets me."

"What do you say, Mum?" Sirius asked, looking over at Dana.

She smiled. "You know we'll be back."

While Remus claimed Laura for a hug, Dana threw her arms around Sirius. "I'm so glad that I got to see you again," she whispered. "I'm so glad that now I know the truth. I never understood how you could have changed so much, so fast."

"I just wish things could have been different," Sirius sighed. He glanced over at Laura, who was saying good bye to Remus and Olivia. "It's so hard to think that she and Harry grew up without me."

"They've still got some growing up left," Dana smiled. "And I expect you to be right here for it."

"I will be," he grinned. "Come again soon?"

"Definitely."

Their goodbyes complete, Dana and Laura took their leave. Olivia, who was still sitting on the couch, slowly stood to her feet.

Remus crossed the room, and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you soon," he whispered. He squeezed her hand, then quickly left the room.

Olivia smiled after him, thinking that Remus never ceased to amaze her with his thoughtfulness. Then she turned to look at Sirius, and felt the tears filling her eyes.

"Hey," he said softly, crossing to hold her close. "Don't start that."

"I'm sorry," she said, trying unsuccessfully not to cry. "It's just too hard to say goodbye."

"Then don't," he said. He pulled back so that he could look into her eyes, and brushed the tears off her cheeks. "We don't have to say goodbye, love. It's so final . . . and we both know that we'll see each other again."

"When?" she whispered.

"Soon," he said. He leaned down to kiss her. "I want to see you as soon as I can."

"I'll come the next time I have time off," she promised.

"And I'll go to France to see you as soon as Dumbledore releases me from house arrest," Sirius grinned. "I'll think about you every day."

"And I'll be thinking about you," Olivia replied. She leaned up to kiss him again. "I'll miss you so much."

"I'll miss you even more," Sirius said, kissing her yet again. "I love you, Olivia."

She smiled tearfully. "I love you, too."

Then, after one last kiss, she Disapparated.

Sirius stood still in the living room for a moment, trying to recollect his thoughts. Then he left the room and climbed the stairs to Remus's room.

"Can I come in?" he called, pushing the slightly open door fully open.

"Of course," Remus replied. He looked up from the wardrobe, where he was unpacking the bag he had taken to Tonks's flat to make it seem like he really would be gone for the weekend.

"So," Sirius grinned, "you stayed with Tonks for the weekend."

"Only during the day," Remus said. "Get your mind out the gutter."

"Right," Sirius laughed. "And just where were you at night? Because I was here –"

"And I Apparated straight into my room, which had a silencing charm on it," Remus cut in. "Ha. Got you there."

"You think you're so clever," Sirius grinned.

"Well, I had help," Remus said.

Sirius looked at him for a moment. "Remus – thank you. What you did for me . . . you saved my life with this weekend."

Remus smiled. "It meant a lot to her, too."

"I know," Sirius said. "You know, I always knew that I missed her. I wanted nothing more than to see her again. But it wasn't until she was here that I realized how _much_ I missed her. She means the world to me, Remus. Having her here . . ."

"I know," Remus said gently.

"Thank you," Sirius said again.

"You're welcome," Remus replied.

Sirius sat down on the bed, watching Remus put the last of his things away. "So, what did you and Tonks do?"

"We had a Muggle weekend," Remus grinned. "She took me to an amusement park, we rented movies . . ." He trailed off and grinned. "I had never done that sort of thing before. Like I told her, my grandmother tried to get me into it, but I'd never go for it. Now I feel a bit bad about that. I wish I had been more open to all the Muggle activities she wanted me to try."

"Don't beat yourself up over it," Sirius counseled. "Children are incredibly close-minded. That's how it works."

Remus grinned. "I suppose you're right."

"And now that you've spent a weekend with her, are you willing to accept that Tonks has a crush on you?"

"Sirius, you really need to get off that," Remus said. He sighed. "Even if she did before, I'm sure she doesn't now."

"Were you mean to her?" Sirius asked with a teasing grin.

"I told her."

"Told her what?"

"About me. About my . . ." He smiled. "Well, as James would say, about my furry little problem."

"You told her that you're a werewolf?" Sirius asked in shocked disbelief.

"Yes," Remus said quietly.

"Wow," Sirius said, obviously at a loss for words.

"She asked how I got my scars," Remus said. "She saw the ones on my face."

"And you told her? Just like that?"

"We're going to be working together," Remus said. "I figured she deserved the truth. Enough other people in the Order know. It's only fair." He sighed. "And past experience has taught me that waiting to share this information only makes it harder when it comes out – and it always comes out. All secrets do in the end."

"How did she take it?"

"Quite well, actually. I was impressed. She said it's something that I can't control, and if she hated me for it, it would be the same thing as me hating her because she's a metamorphmagus."

"How very un-Black of her," Sirius said with a smile. "She definitely didn't learn that from Aunt Bellatrix."

"I got the impression that she didn't spend much time with your family as a child."

"Are you kidding?" Sirius laughed. "Andromeda kept her as far away from the family as possible. I can't blame her – I wouldn't let my kids know the family, either."

Remus raised his eyebrow. "What kids might those be, exactly?"

"Hey, I still have time," Sirius grinned. "You never know what the future holds."

Remus grinned. "I guess you really _did_ have a good weekend! Are you and Olivia back together, then?"

"Yeah," Sirius grinned. "We're not engaged again, but I think we can find our way back there."

"I told Tonks you two could work it out," Remus smiled.

"Talking to Tonks about Liv and me, are you? Is that the jumping off point for your own relationship?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "She helped me plan this reunion, you know. _Obviously_ we had to talk about you."

"And you really don't think she has a crush on you?"

Remus smiled sadly. "How could she? Sirius, do you realize how _young_ she is? I know we had fun together this weekend, but there is no way that she can see me as a possible romantic partner. No way."

"But do you see her as . . . what did you say? A 'possible romantic partner?'"

Remus smiled his sad smile again, and when he spoke, the words were a bit forced. "Of course not. I'm too old for her, and now she knows that I'm a werewolf . . . She's a sweet girl, and she deserves far better than me."

Sirius shook his head. "Why do you always have to be so down on yourself? Don't you realize that _you_ deserve someone like _her_?"

"I had my 'someone,'" Remus said quietly.

Sirius sighed. "I think we're all entitled to more than one 'someone.'"

"Just because you dated half of Hogwarts . . ."

Sirius laughed. "That's not what I meant."

Remus nodded. "I know what you meant. Just don't hold your breath waiting for a wedding invitation."

Sirius grinned. "We'll see, my friend. We'll see."

* * *

"Ginny, I think this is yours, right?"

"Yeah, Mum," Ginny Weasley said, taking the box that her mother was holding.

"Take it straight up to your room, and _put your things away_," Molly Weasley said. "I don't want to see your books, clothes and every other possession all over that room!"

"All right," Ginny called over her shoulder as she left the living room, her box cradled in her arms.

"Which room is ours?" Fred Weasley asked, using his wand to levitate his Hogwarts trunk ahead of him.

"Fred, put that _down_!" Molly exclaimed. "There are far too many people in here for you to move that trunk around like that! You're going to take someone's head off!"

"But it's heavy!" Fred complained, letting it fall with a clang.

"Then get one of your brothers to help you with it," Molly snapped in reply. "George, you know which room the two of you are in, right?"

"Yeah," George replied. "Come on, Fred, I'll show you." He grabbed one end the trunk, picking it back up off the ground. Fred picked up the other end, and they made their way out of the room.

"Where are Ron and Hermione?" Molly asked distractedly, pushing her hair back from her eyes.

"In the kitchen," Bill said as he appeared in the living room. "Ron was hungry, and Hermione wanted to make sure that he wasn't commanding Kreacher to cook him some elaborate snack."

"Hungry?" Molly repeated. "Don't they realize how much we have to do? We don't have time for snacks!"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. Things had been in a state of confused motion since the Weasley family and Hermione Granger had arrived at headquarters that morning.

"Whose idea was it for them to live here?" Sirius muttered.

Remus grinned. "We all agreed that it was for the best," he whispered. "Remember, this is for Harry."

"This is for Harry, this is for Harry," Sirius whispered to himself. He looked down at his feet, and picked up a box that was sitting there. "Whose is this?" he asked.

"Ron's," Molly replied. "Maybe he should get himself out of the kitchen so that he can take it up to his room!"

"What's wrong, Mum?" Ron asked as he walked into the room carrying half a sandwich.

"Ronald Weasley, do you honestly think this is the time to _eat_?" she yelled.

"I was hungry!" Ron replied defensively.

"You'd better be unpacked the next time I see you with food in your hands!" she yelled, swatting at his head.

"Ouch! Mum!"

"Come on, Ron, I'll help you," Sirius said, adjusting the box in his arms. "Hermione, do you have anything else down here?"

"I think it's all upstairs already," she said. "I'd better go help Ginny arrange our room."

She scurried out the room, with Sirius and Ron following behind her. Molly watched them go with a scowl.

"Make sure you leave space for Harry's things, Ron!" she called.

"I will!" came the reply.

She sighed, and brushed her hair back again before bending down to inspect another box.

"It's all going to be fine, Molly," Remus said soothingly. "You don't have to be completely settled in by the time the meeting starts."

"I'd like to be," she said honestly. "Goodness, Remus, I never realized how much effort it would take to get everyone here. This is worse than getting the children off to Hogwarts."

Remus smiled. "Just take it one box at a time. I'm sure you'll feel at home in no time."

"I don't know about that," she said, looking around with a shudder. "This house is in horrible condition, Remus. When was the last time it was actually _cleaned_?"

"Sirius and I have been working at it," Remus replied. "Tonks has been over to help a few times, too." He smiled apologetically. "It's in far better condition now than it was when Sirius and I moved in."

She shuddered again. "I don't even want to know what it looked like then. But don't you worry. We'll have it all the way it should be in no time."

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Sirius," Ron said as Sirius waved his wand to send books to the bookcase.

"Not a problem," Sirius replied, using another charm to put away Ron's clothes. "If I was better at these spells, I'd have your books alphabetized by author. Unfortunately, I'm just not that good."

Ron grinned. "Well, they look better as they are than any way I would have arranged them. At least they're all standing up."

Sirius smiled. "How's your summer been?"

"Good, I guess," Ron said. "It's been tough avoiding Fred and George's inventions, but other than that, it's been pretty quiet. Hermione came over last week, so that's made it more interesting."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, give it a rest," Ron said, his ears turning pink.

"Give what a rest?" Sirius asked innocently. "Did I say something?"

"Hermione and I are _friends_, okay?" Ron said defensively.

"I know, Ron," Sirius replied, still wearing his expression of complete innocence. "And you're both great friends to Harry. I know you mean the world to him."

"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure about that at this point," Ron said, looking relieved that the conversation had moved away from Hermione. "His letters are getting angry."

"Yeah, I've gotten some of that myself," Sirius sighed. "I know he wants to know everything, but there's no way we can send him the information that he wants in a letter."

"There's not exactly much to tell at this point, is there?" Ron asked.

Sirius hesitated. "No, I suppose not," he said at last.

A knock sounded on the open door, and both Ron and Sirius turned to see Hermione standing in the doorway. She looked at them for a moment before speaking.

"Professor Dumbledore's here," she said a bit uncertainly. "I just thought you'd want to know."

"Thanks, Hermione," Sirius said, giving her a grin. He turned to look at Ron, whose ears turned pink again when he caught Sirius's eye. "I'd better go say hello. I'll see you two later."

He winked at Hermione as he left the room, and she smiled back. He turned back after taking a few steps in time to see Hermione enter the room. He chuckled to himself as he made his way down the stairs.

"What are you laughing at?" Remus asked quietly, meeting Sirius in the foyer.

"Ron and Hermione," he replied. "They sort of remind me of you and Laura right before you started dating. You know – embarrassed by the suggestion that they like one another, but a little _too_ quick to point out that they're just friends."

Remus grinned. "Ah. They've been like that at least since third year."

Sirius chuckled again. "So, Hermione said that Dumbledore's here?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "I think the meeting's going to start soon."

"Kitchen?"

"Yes."

"Well, we'd better get down there."

They had just turned to go down the stairs to the kitchen when the door opened. Sirius and Remus both looked up in time to see Tonks walk in.

"Hi, guys," she whispered.

She then promptly tripped over her own feet, which sent her careening into the umbrella stand. Remus, who was standing closer to her, lunged forward to catch her before she fell. Sirius made a wild dive in an attempt to stop the troll's leg from falling; he missed, and managed to fall over himself. Between both Sirius and the umbrella stand hitting the floor, the crash was deafening. After a split-second of silence, Mrs. Black's portrait began to scream.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius yelled. He picked himself up off the floor, and ran forward to stun the portrait. "We weren't interested when you were alive, Mother! _Stupefy_!"

Tonks, who was still clinging to Remus, giggled. "Thanks for saving me, Remus."

"You're welcome," Remus smiled.

They stood there looking into one another's eyes for a moment. Then Sirius laughed, bringing an end to their moment.

"You could have saved _me_, Remus," he laughed.

"My policy is to only save one member of the Black family a day," Remus replied with a laugh. "Sorry, mate, but you're out of luck."

"You just need to be more clumsy," Tonks said to Sirius. "Then you would have fallen sooner, and Remus would have saved you and not me."

Sirius looked at the two of them, who still were holding on to one another. "I'm not so sure about that."

Realizing what Sirius was getting at, Remus dropped his hands from their position on Tonks's waist. She let go of his arms, her face turning slightly pink.

The foyer then filled with noise as the Weasley family came in from various points in the house, all questioning what the crash and screaming had been. Remus looked at Sirius.

"You didn't tell them?"

"I didn't think about it," Sirius said. "Okay, everyone, listen up!"

The questions and conversations died as everyone turned to face Sirius. He smiled at them.

"I guess I need to introduce you to a couple of my family members. We'll start with the good one." He looked back at Tonks with a grin. "This is my cousin, Nymphadora Tonks. Her mother is my favorite cousin, Andromeda – and she's a close second on the favorite scale." He paused, then grinned again. "Oh, yeah, and if you call her anything other than Tonks, I think she'll hex you into next week."

"Good ending, Sirius," she grinned. "Hi, everyone."

"These are the Weasleys," Sirius clarified.

"I know Bill from school," she nodded. "Charlie's not here?"

"He's in Romania, working with dragons," Bill said, coming forward to hug his old friend. "How have you been, Tonks?"

"Fine," she smiled. "So, this is your family?"

"Yup," Bill said cheerfully. "These are my parents –"

"Molly and Arthur, dear," Molly said as she and Arthur came forward to greet Tonks.

"These are my brothers, Fred, George and Ron – they'll all be back at Hogwarts soon – and this is my sister, Ginny. She'll be going back to Hogwarts as well. And this is Ron's friend, Hermione Granger."

"She's my friend, too," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"Right," Bill agreed with a grin. "This is Hermione Granger, friend of Ron and Ginny."

"What, Hermione's too good to be our friend?" Fred asked indignantly.

"Yeah, we like Hermione," George said, looking highly offended. "Has she been telling you that she's not our friend?"

"_Fine_," Bill said testily. "Hermione is a friend of every Hogwarts-attending member of the family, and is well-liked by all the rest of us. Does that make everyone happy?"

Tonks giggled. "It's really nice to meet all of you. I suppose we'll be seeing a lot of each other with Order business and all."

"Are you in the Order?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," Tonks replied. "I'm also an Auror."

"Wicked!" Ron said.

"You'd like to be an Auror?" she asked, surveying him mildly.

"I think it would be a cool job," he replied.

She nodded, and smiled. "If there's anything I can do to help you, I will."

"Thanks!" Ron said cheerfully.

He did not speak louder than anyone else, but the charm that Sirius had used had to silence his mother's portrait apparently worn off. Shrieks filled the room as the velvet curtains in front of the painting flew back.

"_Blood traitors_! _Befouling the home of my fathers_ –"

"Oh, hell," Sirius sighed. "_STUPEFY_!"

The portrait froze, and Remus and Tonks pulled the curtains closed around it again. Sirius testily shoved his wand into his robes.

"If Tonks was the good of the family introductions, that woman was both the bad and the ugly," he said. "That, ladies and gentlemen, was my mother."

"Your – your mother?" Molly asked in shock.

"Yeah," Sirius said, running his hand through his hair. "Lovely woman, isn't she? I guess I should warn you all right now – she will shriek like that every time she wakes up. So, please keep the curtains closed over her portrait, and be as quiet as you can when you walk through the foyer."

"Noted," Arthur said. "Now, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione, you'd all better go finish arranging your rooms. The rest of us have a meeting to get to."

"Can't we go, too?" Fred asked. "George and I have talked about it, and we want to join the Order –"

"_Absolutely not_," Molly said, giving them a look that made them take a step back from her. "Get upstairs. _All_ of you."

With much grumbling about the injustices of life and age discrimination, the four Weasleys and Hermione made their way up the stairs to their bedrooms. Molly waited long enough to be sure that they were actually going up before following her husband, Bill and Tonks to the kitchen. Sirius watched the teenagers go with a sympathetic smile.

"I'd be fighting just as hard to get into that meeting if I were them," he said.

"I wouldn't expect them to give up so easily," Remus said in a low voice. "I've taught those Weasley twins, and you can just bet that they're not going to take this lying down."

"Ron said something about their inventions . . ."

"They weren't into inventing when I taught them – at least not openly. But they're definitely practical jokers – and you know as well as I do that means that they're very . . . industrious. If they want something, they're going to find a way to get their hands on it."

"Well, I'm not saying anything to their mother," Sirius replied.

"Neither am I." Remus grinned. "I think we're safer that way."

"Come on, let's get down to that meeting."

* * *

The full Order, such as it was, was in attendance for the meeting. The members of the original Order, from Moody, who was sipping something from his hipflask, to Snape, who was sitting alone in corner, were all present. The new members, Tonks, Kingsley and the three Weasleys, were all invited to take seats around the table.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Dumbledore said as he rose to his feet, "welcome to our first official meeting of the full membership of the Order of the Phoenix. I am sure that you will all get to know one another very well in the coming weeks and months, but for the moment, I believe your names will do. Please, introduces yourselves to the group."

Each member stated his or her name. When Bill said his own name, he added that his brother, Charlie, would be doing foreign fieldwork in Romania. Remus wondered why Percy was not present or mentioned. He had only just begun to consider why the third Weasley brother would not be an Order member when Dumbledore spoke.

"We also have Olivia Alexander working for us in France," he added. "I believe that is everyone. Now, then, let us begin."

The room fell silent as Dumbledore paused. He looked at them not with his usual smile, but rather with a very grave expression.

"We are among the few, ladies and gentlemen, who are willing to admit the truth of what happened in June. We are among the few who acknowledge that Lord Voldemort has returned, and what his return will mean for our world. We are also among the few who realize exactly how much danger Harry Potter is facing."

"Why is it always Harry?" Molly asked as Dumbledore paused. "It seems that You-Know-Who has been after him since he was a baby . . . Why can't he just give up on Harry?"

"Because of a prophecy that was made shortly before Harry was born," Dumbledore said. He paused. "I apologize to those of you who have heard this information before, but I will make it a bit more exciting for you by elaborating more this time. I suppose it goes without saying that this information does not leave the room."

A murmur of general assent filled the room. Dumbledore nodded.

"This prophecy states that Harry must destroy Voldemort or that Voldemort must destroy Harry," he said. "Voldemort knows of it, and has heard part of it . . ." He trailed off; his eyes flicked ever so quickly to Snape's face. Snape met the older man's eyes, showing no shame or remorse for his part in allowing the Dark Lord to know of this prophecy.

"But there's more to it than You-Know-Who knows?" Bill asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore said slowly. "One of the most vital things we will do in the coming days and months is to make certain that he does not hear the rest of that prophecy. "

"You want us to keep him away from the record of the prophecy?" Arthur asked.

"Precisely. That will be the first of our missions as the Order of the Phoenix."

"But no one could touch it but Harry or You-Know-Who," Kingsley stated. "All the records in the Hall of Prophecy are protected by a very powerful curse. Only the ones they refer to can touch them without losing their minds."

"Very few people know that," Dumbledore said, looking rather impressed. "How did you come by this knowledge, Kingsley?"

"I dated an Unspeakable for about a year," he said. "I didn't learn much about the Department of Mysteries, but I did learn that."

"Well, we are currently working under the assumption that Voldemort is unaware of that fact. I assume that he will use any means possible to try to break into the Hall of Prophecy short of going himself to retrieve the record."

"Do you think he would try to kidnap Harry and force him to get it?" Sirius asked, his voice tight.

"That is certainly a possibility," Dumbledore replied. "And that takes us to the second of our missions: to guard Harry."

"Shouldn't we bring him here, then?" Sirius asked. "That way we can all be here to keep an eye on him."

"We will bring him here eventually," Dumbledore affirmed. "But, for now I think he is just as safe with his aunt and uncle as he would be here. Living with them . . . let us say, it affords him a certain protection that he would not find elsewhere. While he is with them, Voldemort cannot hope to touch him."

"But you said that you want us to guard Harry?" Molly asked.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Arabella, you will, of course, be a vital link in this process."

"I've been keeping a sharper eye on him than I have in the past," she promised. "I've asked him for tea again, but he's turned me down." She shook her head. "If I had just been kinder to him before . . ."

"You have done your job admirably," Dumbledore said. "Ever since Harry was taken to live with his aunt, you have done has I have asked. And we will all help you. All members will be assigned guard duty over both the prophecy and Harry. We will need to work out a schedule –"

"I can take care of that," McGonagall said quickly. "I'll just need to know everyone's schedule preferences."

Remus almost sighed with relief. After working with her on scheduling issues during all his time as a prefect at Hogwarts, he knew that she would never schedule him for guard duty around the full moon.

"That settles that, then," Dumbledore said. "However, those are not the only things we need to worry about. We will also need to work with recruitment."

"Are we trying to find new members?" Dedalus Diggle asked in surprise.

"No," Dumbledore replied. "We are going to attempt to convince others of Voldemort's return. But this will be a tricky process. We need to do it in an inconspicuous manner, and in a manner that will ensure that word of the Order's rebirth does not escape." He surveyed all of them with his penetrating stare. "I would like to keep our organization a secret for as long as possible. Voldemort is working in secrecy; I would like for us to do the same."

Everyone nodded their agreement, and Dumbledore nodded with them.

"I do have a bit of cheerful news for you this evening," he said. "I have just received word that Madam Maxime has returned to her school in France."

"But where is Hagrid?" McGonagall asked before anyone else had a chance to speak.

Dumbledore's smile faded. "We haven't had any word from Hagrid," he admitted. "Madam Maxime assures me that he was in good health and spirits when they parted, and I have no reason to believe that anything has happened to change that. I am sure that we will hear from him soon."

"Were they successful?" Remus asked. "Did they make contact with the giants?"

"They did make contact," Dumbledore said. "They did not, however, manage to achieve their goal."

"So the giants remain loyal to Voldemort," Remus said quietly.

"As of now, yes," Dumbledore replied. "But I am not going to give up hope, just as I am sure that Hagrid would not give up hope."

"You do think that he's safe, don't you?" Tonks asked anxiously.

Remus glanced at her, surprised that she was so concerned for Hagrid. She looked away from Dumbledore's face to meet Remus's eyes. He gave her an encouraging smile, and she smiled back.

"I have no reason to believe that he is not safe," Dumbledore said.

"And there's no way to reach him?" Tonks asked.

"If there was, I would have used it long ago," Dumbledore said. "May I consider this matter closed?"

A general murmur of assent rippled through the room.

"Very well. Severus, do you have a report for us?"

"You have touched on the most important issue that the Dark Lord is concerned with," Snape replied from his corner. "He is desperate to obtain that prophecy, and I do not think that he will rest until it is in his hands." He paused. "Don't you think, Headmaster, that it would be safer to move the prophecy . . .?"

"No," Dumbledore said at once. "I will not use Harry to retrieve it, and that is the only way it could come into our possession. And even if I was willing to use him in such a manner, there is the matter of security. I will not put my school in such danger by keeping an object that Voldemort wants inside it – not again."

"You will have Potter there," Snape said a bit impatiently. "One could argue that he is the object that the Dark Lord most desires."

"Voldemort has no hope of getting near Harry while he is at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said evenly. "You know that as well as I do – and as well as Voldemort himself does."

"Yes, of course," Snape replied.

"Is there any other information we should know?"

"Not at this time, sir."

Dumbledore nodded. "Very well. This meeting is adjourned. I will contact you regarding the next meeting."

"And I will contact you with your guard schedules," McGonagall added.

Sirius pushed back from the table quickly. "How much do you want to bet we're going to find five teenagers outside the door?"

Remus laughed. "We'd better check it out before Molly has a chance."

"Where are you two going?" Tonks asked, hurrying to catch up with them.

"To warn the kids," Sirius said cheerfully.

"Warn them? About what?"

"The fact that eavesdropping is a good way for to make Molly angry."

Tonks grinned. "Yeah, I'm sure they got quite a bit of information."

They opened the kitchen door, and moved out into the hallway. To the untrained eye, it looked empty. Sirius and Remus, however, were experts in this sort of thing; they both immediately looked into shadowy corners and spaces behind doors.

"Ha," Sirius laughed, pulling Fred up by his arm. "Gotcha."

"Let go!" Fred said, wrenching his arm from Sirius's grasp. He sighed. "The jig's up, guys. They found us."

One by one, the other four stepped out of their shadowy hiding places. They joined Fred to form a line facing Sirius, Remus and Tonks.

"You're going to tell Mum, aren't you?" Ron asked sullenly.

"Of course we're not," Sirius said, looking scandalized. "We came out so quickly to make sure that we found you before she did."

"But you can't keep doing this," Remus said. "If we wanted you to have this information, we would invite you to the meetings."

"How much did you hear?" Tonks asked.

"Not much," George admitted. "You guys could talk a bit louder, you know."

"Yeah, we'll get right on that," Tonks said sarcastically. "Remus is right, guys. You shouldn't know this stuff. It's safer for you not to know."

"I know it's killing you to be in the dark," Sirius said. "But think of how much harder it would be to write to Harry if you _did_ know everything. You'd have to send him these letters swearing you don't know what's going on when you really do."

"And," Remus added. "You're bound to get caught. We just found you, didn't we?"

"They're right, guys," Hermione said at last. "Come on, let's get upstairs before your mum comes out here and sees us."

Grumbling once again about injustice, the five of them made their way upstairs. Sirius shook his head.

"Thank God I'm not in their place," he said. "I'd probably have had my ear up against the door to listen. I know that James's parents were in the Order and told us nothing, but at least we didn't have to live in headquarters."

"They'll make it," Tonks said. "They'll just have to get better at spying, that's all."

"Don't give them any ideas," Remus said. "They're good enough as it is."

"Give them a break," Tonks grinned. "They're good kids, Remus."

"I know it."

"They're good friends to Harry," Sirius said. "For that, I'll always think they're the best kids in the world."

A few other members came out of the kitchen; Kingsley immediately engaged Sirius in conversation. Remus looked at Tonks.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Of course," she said brightly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know . . . I was worried about you for a minute in there. You seemed really upset when Dumbledore was talking about Hagrid."

"Oh," she said, "that. Well, I'm worried about him, Remus. It doesn't seem right that we would go this long without hearing anything. And now that we know that Madame Maxime is back . . . I'm afraid something has happened to him."

Remus didn't hand her empty promises of Hagrid's safe return. He knew, and she knew, that no one could promise that Hagrid would be home soon, or that he would be home at all. He merely touched her arm and said, "Do you know him well?"

She grinned. "I served a lot of detentions with him when I was at Hogwarts. He always requested me when I was assigned to detention, and so McGonagall always let me go with him. After a few years, I did get to know him quite well. He's one of my favorite Hogwarts staff members."

Remus smiled. "He really is a good person. He loves his job – loves the kids."

"Yeah, he does," Tonks replied. She smiled sadly. "I just hope he has the chance to keep on loving his job and the kids this year."

Remus sighed. "So do I."

Across the room, Molly stepped over to talk to Sirius, who had just ended his conversation with Kingsley.

"Hi, Molly," he smiled.

"Are Remus and Tonks . . .?" she asked uncertainly.

Sirius looked over to see his best friend and his cousin deep in conversation. He grinned. "I keep telling Remus that she has a crush on him, but he refuses to admit it."

"Oh, well, I'd say she does," Molly said, a sparkle jumping into her eyes. "And I'd go so far as to say the feeling is mutual."

"Yeah, I thought that, too," Sirius said, still grinning. "And I'm glad that you've seen it, too. Now I can tell Remus that it's not just me thinking that something's going on."

"Oh, no," Molly said, holding up her hands. "Don't you involve me in this. I stay out of other people's romantic relationships."

Sirius laughed. "All right, I'll keep you out of it. But I won't forget what you said. There's definitely something going on there – definitely."


	10. Screaming for Help

A/N: I feel like I'm always saying this, but I do want to apologize for the time between updates. I've been busy with work and "real life," which has taken time away from writing. I'm sorry, and I hope to have the next chapter out sooner.

**JP LE 4E: **Harry will be rescued by the end of the chapter.

**Ashley: **Sure, link away! I'd love the link for the site, too! Thanks!

**Fawkes309: **Yes, they'll see each other again. I can't make it _all_ horribly sad!

**turtledove797:** Thanks for the opinion. I'm obviously a Ron/Hermione supporter. I think they'd be cute together, and I think that's the way things are headed in the books. I included that scene just because I thought it would be cute. I'm not focusing on the kids or their relationships, so don't worry about it taking over the plot of the story. I mostly wanted to show the relationship that was building between Sirius and the kids. I'm sorry if it upset you to read it.

**CFlat: **Yes, Dana, Laura and Olivia will be back. The adults will be around more than Laura, since she'll be back at school soon, but we'll see them all again.

**sweetness0984: **I miss Laura, too! I just reread some of my last story (I'm planning to revise both of them eventually) and got a little teary over her. But I love Tonks, too, and I hope you will be on board by the time she and Remus get together!

**LogicalRaven:** I'm going to stay canon for _this_ story, but I do want Harry and Laura to meet someday …

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Screaming for Help

"You're quite obvious, you know."

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked as he and Sirius made their way around the house, locking up and turning off lights. The socializing following the meeting had finally ended, and they were going to be able to get some sleep at long last.

"You and Tonks," Sirius clarified.

Remus sighed as they started up the stairs to their bedrooms. "Will you ever give up on this?"

"No," Sirius grinned. "You do realize that she fancies you, don't you?"

"Sirius." Remus turned to face him on the stairs, his expression unreadable. "Whether or not she fancies me is a moot point. Nothing can ever happen between us. Ergo, any feelings that she might have for me, or even any feelings that I may have for her, are irrelevant."

"Are we back to your denial of your feelings again?" Sirius asked as though bored.

"As there are no feelings to deny, I am _not_ denying my feelings," Remus said. "I'm just saying that Tonks and I are not going to happen. So, if you're so set on seeing her with someone, ask her out yourself."

"Well, that was just harsh," Sirius said with a grin. "First, you suggest that I routinely practice incest – and given the members of my family, that's probably the worst insult you could throw at me. Then, you say something like 'ask her _out_' when you know perfectly well that I can't leave the house!"

"Is Moaning Myrtle here?"

Both Sirius and Remus jumped. They had reached the second floor hall sometime during Sirius's tirade; neither of them had thought to make sure that they were still alone. Now they both turned to see Ron coming out of his bedroom. He grinned at them.

"When you said that thing about not being able to leave the house – you just sounded a bit like Moaning Myrtle. She's always going on about being dead," Ron said. "This one time, she was having a fit because someone had thrown a book at her. I said that it couldn't hurt her since she's dead, and she got all upset with me. Said I was insensitive or something," he finished with a shrug.

"How much of what I said did you hear?" Sirius asked curiously, ignoring the story Ron had related.

"Just that last bit about not being able to leave the house," Ron replied. "I could hear you talking before that, but I couldn't hear what you were saying."

Looking quite relieved, Remus smiled at him. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"I'm going up to see Fred and George," Ron said brightly. "They said they have . . ." He trailed off. "I probably shouldn't tell you," he added hastily.

Sirius nodded. "The less we know, the better off we'll be."

"Just like you lot when it comes to knowing things that Harry will want to know," Remus added, giving Ron a rather severe look.

"I'll keep that in mind," Ron said, starting up the stairs. "Good night, Sirius. Good night, Professor."

"Good night, Ron," they said together.

Once they were sure that he was out of earshot, Remus turned to Sirius with a hint of anger in his eyes.

"Would you mind not bringing up your fantasy about my nonexistent relationship with Tonks when there is a good chance we could be overheard?"

"He didn't hear anything," Sirius said dismissively. "You worry too much, Moony. You always have."

"No, you've just never worried enough," Remus sighed. "I'm going to bed, Sirius. Good night."

"Good night," Sirius replied. He shook his head as he watched Remus disappear into his bedroom. "He _does_ worry too much," he informed a portrait on the wall.

"Yes, but he's right, too," his great-grandmother replied. "You never have worried enough about anything, Sirius. You always act without worrying about the consequences. Think of when you ran away from home. You left this house without any idea of where you would stay or what you would do. You would do well to try to be more like your friend, and worry a bit more about the consequences of your actions."

Sirius scowled at her. "When I want your advice, I'll ask for it." He stalked off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, we must become even more vigilant in our guard over Harry," Dumbledore said.

Sirius scowled at Dumbledore's words at the next Order meeting. "Why can't we just bring him _here_?" he asked. "You know that Voldemort can't touch him here."

"We have more than just Voldemort to worry about," Dumbledore sighed. "You have all read the accounts of Harry's lack of sanity and mental balance in the _Daily Prophet_?"

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. It made both of them ill to read the slanderous accounts of Harry in the paper, knowing that his mother had worked for the periodical. They couldn't even imagine the rage that Lily Potter would fly into if she knew how her former employer was treating her son.

"Yes, of course," Dedalus said. "But everyone knows that's just a pack of lies. Why should it concern us?"

"The Prophet answers to the Ministry," Dumbledore explained. "We all know that none of what they are saying is true, but we are, sadly enough, not in the majority. The Ministry is asking that the paper print these lies in an attempt to destroy Harry's credibility and reputation. Together, they are doing all they can to destroy him in any way they can."

"But what does all this have to do with guard duty?" Bill asked.

"I hope that I am wrong," Dumbledore said, "but I fear that they will stoop to any level to have Harry removed as a threat."

"You don't think they'd send a hit wizard . . .?" Molly asked.

"I don't think they'd go so far as to do that," Dumbledore said. "But I do think they may try to force him into using magic. Harry has already been issued a warning for using magic away from school, and has been excused from using it another time. If he were to use any magic, even in self-defense, I believe that the Ministry would try to use that to its advantage."

"But how much can the Ministry do to a student for using magic in self-defense?" Tonks asked with a frown.

"It's not how much they _can_ do, it's how much they'd _try_ to do that concerns me," Dumbledore sighed. "Are we agreed, then, that we must increase our guard duty? I never want to hear that Mrs. Figg was left on her own to protect Harry. Should something happen that requires magical intervention, you are all aware that she will need your assistance." He paused, and gave them all the penetrating look they knew so well. "Under no circumstances is Harry to be left in a situation that requires that he perform magic."

They all nodded their agreement. Remus glanced at Sirius to see his reaction to all that Dumbledore had said. As he turned his head, his eyes fell on something flesh-colored that was creeping across the table. He gasped in surprise, and seized it.

"What is it?" Sirius asked as Remus grabbed the string-like object.

"I have no idea," Remus said, bringing it closer to his face for inspection. "I've never seen anything like it before."

They heard a sudden yell from behind the closed door. Several people jumped in their chairs.

"What on earth?" Emmeline asked.

Molly's face darkened. "What have they done?"

She took the flesh-colored string from Remus and followed its path across the floor. She reached the door, and swung it open, revealing Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione.

"_What_," she bellowed, waving the string in front of her face, "is this?"

Fred yelled again, and jerked the other end of the string away from his ear. "Would you mind not yelling straight into it?" He glanced past her. "And thank you, too, Professor Lupin, for nearly bursting my eardrum."

Remus tried his best not to smile, but to retain his "teacher face" that he had always worn when disciplining Fred and George for some bit of mischief in his class. He had always found the twins rather amusing, even though he had handed out punishments for their misdeeds. Sirius, realizing the conflict that was going on in Remus's head, bit his lips to keep from laughing.

"Tell me what this is!" Molly yelled again, this time waving the string in Fred's face.

"Extendable Ears," George admitted. "Fred and I invented them."

"For what purpose? Spying on our meetings?"

"Well . . ." Fred began.

"They're useful for that," George admitted. "But that's not why we invented them. They're for our joke –"

"Not another word!" Molly bellowed, cutting George's statement short. "_Upstairs_! _All_ of you! I want you to give me every single one of these things! And, believe me, Fred and George, I will search your room to make sure I have them all!"

"Extendable Ears?" Sirius asked, looking at Remus with a grin. "Is that what it sounds like?"

"So it would appear," Remus replied.

"Ingenious," Sirius grinned.

Remus grinned back. "I knew they'd never take this lying down."

* * *

"Why the glum faces?" Sirius asked as he entered the kitchen for breakfast. Both Ron and Hermione were sitting at the table, and both of them looked completely miserable. "You can't possibly be this upset over Molly confiscating the Extendable Ears. I'm sure Fred and George have a whole stash of them that she doesn't know about."

Ron smiled half-heartedly, but Hermione fielded the question.

"We've just had letters from Harry," she said. "He sounds awful, Sirius, just awful. Isn't there anything we can do to help him?"

"He wants to know what's going on," Ron added. "Can't we at least tell him where we are?"

"No," Sirius said. "We can't tell him anything. Dumbledore wants us to make sure that he doesn't know anything that's going on. We're all safer that way – Harry, the two of you, and the Order. You know that."

"It just doesn't seem fair," Hermione said softly.

"I know," Sirius replied. "It's not fair. Of all people, Harry has a right to know what's going on. But he can't. Dumbledore's right. It's too dangerous to write anything in a letter. Anything could happen to it before it gets to Harry. Anyone could read it."

"Well, can we get him out of that house, then?" Ron asked. "He hates it there, you know he does. Why do we have to leave him there with those Muggles?"

"Dumbledore says that he's safer there," Sirius replied. He sighed. "Believe me, I would love nothing more than to have Harry here with us, but we have to trust Dumbledore on this one. You know that he would never do anything to put Harry in danger."

"No, I suppose not," Ron agreed a bit reluctantly.

"I just wish we could do something to help him," Hermione sighed.

"Write him back," Sirius suggested. "I know that getting letters will help."

"I'm not so sure about that," Hermione replied. "He wants _answers_, Sirius, not a cryptic message about how I'm with you and Ron and everyone else in an undisclosed location." She sighed. "I just want to tell him where we are and what we're doing, and to promise him that he'll be able to join us soon. But I can't do any of that, and it's getting harder and harder to write to him without mentioning anything."

"Hermione," Sirius said warningly.

"Don't worry," she said. "I won't tell him anything. It's just . . . this is my best friend, Sirius. I feel horrible treating him like this."

Ron shook his head. "What do _you_ write to him, Sirius?"

"The same thing the two of you do, I suppose," he said. "I just tell him that I'm doing all I can to help, and that he needs to keep himself out of trouble."

Ron smiled faintly. "Harry's not very good at keeping himself out of trouble."

Sirius grinned. "No, I suppose he's not. That much is in his blood." He smiled again. "I'm sure that he hates hearing that he needs to stay out of trouble from me of all people. But it's what he has to do, and I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that it's exactly what he does. Will you two help me with that?"

"Sure," Ron said. "We'll do anything to help Harry, right, Hermione?"

"Right," she agreed. She picked up a piece of parchment bearing Harry's handwriting and stood up from the table. "I guess I'd better get started on my reply. Coming, Ron?"

"Yeah," Ron replied, picking up his own letter. "I'll tell him about Fred and George's new products," he added, brightening somewhat. "He should be excited to hear about that."

Hermione shook her head, but followed Ron out of the room. Sirius grinned as he watched them go. He was sure that Hermione approved of Fred and George's joke shop plans almost as much as their mother did.

"What are you so cheerful about?"

Sirius looked up to see Remus walking through the kitchen door. "You just missed Ron and Hermione," he said. "They were telling me about letters they've received from Harry. They're having a tough time writing to him."

"Yes, I'm sure they are," Remus sighed as he sat down with Sirius. "I can't even imagine keeping so much from my best friend."

"You kept quite a bit from us for awhile in first and second year, wolf," Sirius replied with a hint of a smile.

"That was different," Remus said. "I didn't have you guys bothering me about it every other day. Hermione and Ron get letters from Harry several times a week, and I'm sure he's begging them for information every time."

"They're really worried about him," Sirius said. "And, to be honest, so am I. We can't just keep him in the dark like this, Remus. His letters are getting angrier and angrier."

"He has Lily's temper," Remus nodded.

"James would never have stood for being kept in the dark like this," Sirius added. "He would have been demanding answers the same way Harry is."

Remus sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "We can't tell him anything, Sirius."

"I know," Sirius replied.

"I mean it," Remus said, looking directly into his eyes. "I know who we're talking about. It's James and Lily's son. I know that you want to tell him everything, to give him anything he wants. It's easy to want to indulge him and spoil him, especially given the life he's led since Lily and James died. But, Sirius, we can't. We have to be strong." He paused, deliberating over his next comment. In the end, he decided to say it. "We have to be the adults this time. He's depending on us."

"I know," Sirius said again. "Remus, Harry is the most amazing kid. I love him to death, but being one of the adults in his life, being his godfather – these are huge responsibilities. I've known that ever since he was born. I'm not going to do anything that could screw him up. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that he grows up to be the man that James and Lily always dreamed he'd be."

Remus swallowed hard. "So I am."

* * *

"So, then, if no one else has anything to add, I think we can adjo-"

"Dumbledore!"

The kitchen doors flew open, and Mundungus Fletcher ran into the meeting. Several people jumped in their seats; even Dumbledore looked surprised to see him.

"You have been guarding Harry, haven't you?" Dumbledore asked at once.

"Dementors!" Mundungus gasped. "They showed up on Privet Drive! I don't know what they were doing there, but they went after Harry and his cousin –"

"Did you use a Patronus?" Remus asked at once.

"How's Harry?" Sirius asked, his voice tight with concern.

"I – I wasn't exactly there . . ." Mundungus said slowly.

Dumbledore looked at him severely. "I do not want to know where you were or why you were there instead of watching Harry – not right now," Dumbledore said. "I do not believe that we have the time to concern ourselves with your activities. What happened to Harry?"

"He drove them away," Mundungus said with a trace of pride in his voice. "He got rid of both of the dementors by himself."

Remus felt a bit irritated with Mundungus's pride over the whole incident. He had left Harry alone to defend himself and a cousin that he hated against two dementors and he had the gall to act as though he, Mundungus, had taught the boy how to conjure a Patronus?

"You taught him to do that, didn't you?" Sirius asked in a low voice.

Remus nodded, unable to keep the sparkle of pride out of his own eyes. Across from him, Tonks looked rather impressed.

"When did you teach him that?"

"When I taught him at Hogwarts. It was his third year."

Tonks nodded. "Very impressive, Professor."

Remus grinned. "Thanks."

"Dumbledore!"

All eyes flew to the fireplace, where Arthur's head had appeared among the dancing flames. Dumbledore crossed the room in two strides, and knelt down in front of the grate.

"Have you heard about the dementors?" Arthur asked tensely.

"We have," Dumbledore replied.

Arthur nodded. "They've sent Harry a message saying that he's been expelled from Hogwarts," he said. "They're saying that he's broken underage magic and secrecy statutes –"

"Cornelius, what are you trying to do?" Dumbledore muttered, his eyes looking into the fire without actually seeing it. He looked directly at Arthur again, a fire now blazing in his eyes. "I'm on my way. I should be able to straighten this out. They can't expel my students. Get a message to Harry telling him to keep a firm grip on his wand." He straightened up, and looked back around at them. "Sirius, write to Harry. Tell him that under no circumstances should he leave his uncle's house."

Sirius nodded, and jumped up to find parchment and a quill.

"I should have straightened out in a few hours," Dumbledore continued. "Remus and Nymphadora, go to Privet Drive to monitor the situation. If Harry leaves the house, he is in grave danger. Do all that you can to make sure that even if he tries, he cannot set a foot off the porch."

"Yes, sir," they said as one. Without another word, they both Disapparated.

Dumbledore at last looked at Mundungus again. "You are to remain in this house until I return." He glanced at Molly. "Molly, if you would be so kind as to ensure that Mundungus does not try to leave . . ."

"Of course."

Then, Dumbledore, too, Disapparated.

* * *

"So, this is where Harry lives," Tonks said as she and Remus crouched behind the hedges behind Harry's house. "It's a nice neighborhood."

"It's a shame his relatives aren't nice people," Remus replied.

"Have you met them?"

"Not exactly," Remus said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Remus sighed. "When Harry's aunt and uncle were married, dementors and Death Eaters attacked the reception. Lily and James were there, obviously, and called us all in for back up. I was never formally introduced to them, but I did see them."

Tonks shook her head. "Why were they attacked?"

"Lily's parents were Squibs," Remus said. "She was, of course, a witch, but her sister is a Muggle. Dumbledore believed that they were attacked because the wedding united magical and Muggle families."

"You don't sound very sure about that."

"Well, if Dumbledore says it, what choice do we have but to believe it?"

"Dumbledore would say that questioning helps us find the truth, or something to that effect."

Remus grinned. "All right, it always bothered me because my own wedding was the same sort of event. My parents are both magical and I'm magical, but my wife and her sister were the only witches in their Muggle family. I don't see why we weren't attacked for the same reason."

Tonks swallowed. Remus had never told her about his wedding before, or even about his wife. The closest he had come was mentioning his sister-in-law once. "Sirius said that your wife . . ." she said slowly.

Remus nodded, a guarded, closed expression coming over his face. "She died," he said shortly. "But I really don't think this is the time to discuss that, do you?"

"No, I suppose not," she said quickly, realizing that he clearly did not want to discuss the topic. "So you said that you don't really know Harry's aunt and uncle?"

"No," Remus said, clearly relieved that she had moved on, "but I heard enough about both of them from Lily to know that they aren't exactly the nicest or most tolerant of people. And I know that they aren't all that fond of Harry."

"But they've kept him for all these years," Tonks said. "That has to count for something, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Remus said slowly. "I suppose so."

A terrible, screaming voice came from the house, telling Petunia to remember the last . . . something. Tonks and Remus looked at one another with raised eyebrows.

"Was that . . .?" Tonks asked.

Remus nodded. "It sounded like Dumbledore. Do you think he sent Petunia a Howler?"

"That's what I've gotten from this situation."

"Wow," Remus said. "Maybe she didn't just take Harry out of the goodness of her heart."

* * *

It was late when Emmeline and Bill came to relieve Remus and Tonks of their guard duty. They Apparated to a point only feet away from Remus and Tonks, and quickly crossed to join them.

"You're both free to go," Bill grinned. "We'll take it from here."

"How has everything been?" Emmeline asked.

"Fairly quiet," Tonks replied. "We saw a few owls going in and out, but other than that, no movement."

"The house has been dark for about an hour," Remus added. "You should have an easy night of it."

"I hope we do," Bill replied. "Good night, guys."

"Good night," Remus replied.

"Thanks," Tonks said. She stretched as she stood up. "Are you going back to headquarters?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "You?"

"I think I'm going to go home and get some sleep," she said. "I have to be at work really early. Tell Sirius good night for me."

"I will," Remus replied. "Good night, Tonks."

"'Night," she said just before Disapparating.

Remus smiled at Bill and Emmeline one last time, then Disapparated. When he arrived in the house, he heard voices coming from the living room. Crossing the foyer soundlessly, he walked down the hall to see who was still awake.

Sirius was sitting in the living room chatting with Dumbledore. Remus checked on the threshold, then smiled and crossed to join them.

"Ah! Remus!" Dumbledore smiled. "Just the man I've been waiting to see."

"Yes?" Remus asked curiously.

"How did you patrol go?"

"Fine," Remus said. "The only things going in and out of the house were owls."

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, I'm sure Harry received quite a bit of correspondence this evening."

"As did his aunt," Remus said, watching Dumbledore for his reaction.

The older man smiled again. "Yes, sometimes we all need to be reminded of the past."

"Right," Remus said, no closer to understanding what had happened than he had been before bringing up the Howler.

"Remus, I wanted to talk to you about bringing Harry here," Dumbledore said. "Sirius and I have talked it over, and we have agreed that Harry needs to be removed from his uncle's house as soon as possible. We need to send a group to retrieve him and bring him here. The more people we can have in this group, the better. I want Harry to have as much protection as we can provide."

"We're going to have him fly here," Sirius added. "Apparating and the Floo Network are out of the question."

"As are Portkeys," Dumbledore added. "But he does have his own broomstick, so flying will be the perfect alternative."

"That sounds like a good plan," Remus said.

"Remus, I'd like you and Alastor to take charge of the mission," Dumbledore said.

Remus blinked. "Me?"

"Yes, you," Dumbledore smiled. "Harry knows you quite well, and he trusts you. Both of those are excellent reasons for you to be among the first people that he sees when a group of unknown wizards appears in his uncle's house."

"Have you talked to Moody yet?" Remus asked.

"No," Dumbledore replied. "I know that he will agree. He's an excellent Auror, and I know that Harry's security will be unparalleled if he is there. But I wanted to be sure that you agreed before I approached him."

Remus nodded. "Of course I'll go. When will we leave?"

"We'll hold a meeting tomorrow to find other volunteers," Dumbledore said. "I'm sure we'll be able to find one or two who will be willing to join you."

* * *

"I think the entire Order has volunteered to go get Harry," Remus said to Sirius as he read over the list that had been signed by all those who were willing to join his mission.

"And just look who's name is listed first," Sirius said in a teasing voice. "Tonks."

"Well, I'm glad she volunteered," Remus said. "She said that she'll handle getting Harry's family out of the house so we can take him without any problems."

"I'm sure that it's not Harry that she's concerned about," Sirius said with a smirk. "You know she only signed up because you're going."

"She's an Auror, Sirius," Remus replied. "This is business for her."

"This is business for Moody, not her," Sirius replied. He grinned. "He's taking it quite seriously, isn't he?"

"It's a good thing, I suppose," Remus said. "I know Harry will get here safely. But he's so obsessive . . . I hope he doesn't scare Harry."

"That's why you're going," Sirius replied, "to make sure that Harry feels safe and that he isn't afraid of his rescuers." He sighed. "I wish that I could go with you. I would give anything to be in your place right now."

"I know," Remus said softly.

Sirius sighed, and pulled himself away from his depressed thoughts. "What's your game plan?"

"Everyone who signed up to go on the mission is meeting here tomorrow morning to organize everything," Remus replied. "Then we'll go get Harry the next day."

"So we'll have him here soon, then."

"Yes. Very soon."

Sirius smiled. "I've missed that kid."

Remus smiled slightly. "So have I."

* * *

The next morning, Remus made his way to the kitchen far earlier than usual. He was too nervous to sleep, knowing that very soon he would be running the meeting to organize Harry's "rescue" from his family.

He was surprised to see Molly already in the kitchen when he stepped through the door. Dressed in her bathrobe and slippers, she smiled at him from her place at the stove.

"Good morning, Remus."

"Good morning," he replied. "You're up early."

"I wanted to have breakfast ready for your meeting," she said.

"I didn't tell them it would be a breakfast meeting," he said slowly.

"Food is always appreciated," she replied. "And, besides, I want to be able to do something to help." She paused. "These people are going to get _Harry_, Remus. The poor thing has been so alone for so long . . . I want to do anything I can to help bring him here. All of you who are going after him deserve all the support I can give."

Remus touched her shoulder. "Thank you, Molly," he said, his voice tight.

Of all that she had said, the only thing he could focus on was her statement about Harry being alone. He was sure that she was just talking about the past few weeks since Hogwarts had ended classes for the summer, but, in his mind, Harry had been alone far longer than that. He had been alone since that horrible Halloween when his parents had died. As far as Remus was concerned, he had been alone far too long. It was time to remind him that he had family beyond the Dursleys, that there were many, many people who cared about him not because he was famous but because he was _Harry_.

Molly was just putting the finishing touches on breakfast when the "committee" members began to arrive. Tonks, Moody and Kingsley came in together, all dressed in their Auror robes. Remus assumed that they had come straight from work. The others who had signed up came in soon after them, all expressing their appreciation for the breakfast that Molly had provided. Once they all had plates of food and had taken seats at the table, Remus stood up.

"I'd like to thank you all for volunteering to get Harry, and for coming today," he said. "Our purpose today is to plan out the logistics of tomorrow's mission." He glanced at Moody. "I'm sure that Moody has a clear idea of what he wants to happen, so I think it would be best if he were to speak first."

"Thank you, Remus," Moody growled, standing. "Right, I think it would be best if we divided into two groups. The first will be the ones to go to Harry's house. We'll call them the Advance Guard. Should something happen to those of us in that group, the Rear Guard will take over for them."

"You sound a bit dire, Moody," Bill said easily.

"That attitude is precisely what the Death Eaters expect of us," Moody said angrily. "You'd better readjust your perspective, Bill, or drop out of the mission."

Tonks shook her head as she looked in Bill's direction. "He should know better than to say things like that to Moody," she whispered.

"You say things like that to Moody all the time," Kingsley replied in a whisper.

Tonks gave him a cheeky grin. "I can get away with it. I was his favorite student."

Kingsley choked on his pumpkin juice as he tried unsuccessfully not to laugh. Remus looked at the two of them and grinned.

Moody continued on to explain his rescue plan for nearly an hour. At the end of the hour, he assigned all those present to either the Advance Guard or the Rear Guard. Remus, obviously, was placed in the Advance Guard, as were Tonks and Kingsley. Bill was assigned to the Rear Guard.

"He should have known to keep his mouth shut," Tonks muttered.

Remus and Kingsley laughed again.

"Remus, you've met Harry, haven't you?" Elphias asked.

"Yes," Remus replied. "That's why Dumbledore was so set on me going to get him."

Elphias nodded. "Tell us what he looks like."

Remus smiled. "He looks like James."

"Children always take after their parents," Emmeline said dismissively. "_What_ does he look like, Remus, not _who_?"

"No, I'm being quite serious," Remus replied. "He looks almost exactly like James did at his age. He always has. Even as a baby, he was James in miniature." He paused and smiled again. "You'll all see for yourselves tomorrow."

"Right," Moody said. "We'll meet here at five tomorrow, then? And, Tonks, you'll take care of that phone call?"

"I'm on it," she grinned. "I can't wait."

"Good," Moody said. "Then, Remus, if you don't have anything to add . . .?"

"No, I think we've covered it all."

Moody nodded. "We'll see you all here at five tomorrow."

* * *

Sirius paced around the library for what felt like the thousandth time. He had already talked to Ron and Hermione enough to know that they were as anxious as he was about Harry's arrival. The two teenagers had gone upstairs fifteen minutes earlier after being beckoned by Fred. Sirius had a feeling that more Extendable Ears, or perhaps an even more advanced invention, were about to be shared.

He passed the fireplace again, pausing to look into its flaming depths. _If only it were safe to Floo him here . . . he'd be here already_. He sighed, and looked away. The simple truth was that it _wasn't_ safe, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

The library door opened, and Remus stepped in. He looked at Sirius with a broad grin.

"He's here."

Sirius's face broke into a grin that matched Remus's. "How is he?"

"Fine, all things considered. Demanding answers, of course. I'm sure that Ron and Hermione will fill him in."

"He's with them?"

"Molly took him upstairs. I'd assume they've found him by now."

"Can I see him?"

"Give him a few minutes with them. I think they need some time together."

Sirius nodded. "I can't wait to talk to him again." He grinned a bit apologetically. "I can't believe how much I've missed him."

"He's a good kid," Remus replied with a smile. "I've missed him, too."

"How much information do you think he's going to get out of Ron and Hermione and the others?"

"All that they know," Remus grinned. "You know they won't hold back now that he's here."

"They don't know much, though."

"They know more than they should."

"Still, he's going to want to know more."

"Sirius, we can't tell him much," Remus said slowly.

"I know that."

"He's still a child."

"He's fifteen."

"Which makes him a child," Remus said firmly. "Sirius, he's –"

"He's what?" Sirius asked when Remus stopped abruptly.

Remus continued to hesitate for a moment, then spoke slowly. "I know that you love him. So do I, and so do the Weasleys and Hermione. None of us wants to see anything happen to him. We all want to make him happy. But we can't just start telling him everything about the Order to keep him happy. It's only going to put him in more danger. Voldemort already wants him dead because of that prophecy; if he knew that Harry knew more than he should, he'd mine him for information about the Order before killing him. That would only put more people in danger . . ."

"Okay, Remus, you've made your point."

"I'm just saying that with everything we know about him, we should know when to keep him in the dark."

"We've been keeping him in the dark for weeks!"

"I know that we have to tell him _some_ things," Remus said with an air of determined calm. "Otherwise he's just going to have the information the other kids have managed to scrape together to go on, and we both know that's going to paint a rather odd picture. But, Sirius, we _can't_ tell him everything. We just can't."

"Remus, you know he's going to want to know everything."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we have to tell him everything. We can't always give him everything he wants, Sirius."

Sirius's eyes darkened as they always did just before his temper flared. Remus knew what was coming, and made an attempt to avoid the angry display.

"Look, this isn't going to get us anywhere," Remus said before Sirius had time to start hurling insults at him. "I'm going to go ask Molly if we can tell the kids to come down for dinner. Just – just try to cool off before dinner, okay? Harry hasn't seen you since June; I'd doubt he wants to see you in a towering rage tonight."

Remus walked quickly out of the room, leaving Sirius alone and more than a little irritated. Sirius swung his foot back with the intention of kicking the chair beside him when a horrible shrieking filled the room.

"Damn you, Mother!" he screamed, venting some of his frustration in the release of yelling.

Somehow, the shrieking portrait seemed to fit his mood. Remus was right. He did need to cool off before his first encounter with Harry. He took of at a run out of the room to silence his mother.


	11. Too Soon for Goodbye

A/N: Thanks for the continued feedback, everyone. I'm trying my best to finish these chapters quickly – I'll try to have the next one out soon!

**paige-rossi-black:** You're right, Moody is retired. But I see him as the person who can't leave work even after retirement – sort of like teachers who retire then become substitutes. Tonks mentions something about it in this chapter.

**turtledove797:** Olivia is a little, blond, blue-eyed thing. She's described as "pixie-like" because she's petite. I think of her as pretty, but not gorgeous. Does that help?

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter, or _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. Some dialogue and scene inspiration is taken from pages 122 and 175 – 178 of the American hardback edition.

Too Soon for Goodbye

"I trust that Harry has arrived safely?"

"Yes, sir," Remus said as he passed a tray bearing glasses of mulled mead to Dumbledore. "We didn't have any problems at all."

"No interference from Harry's aunt or uncle?"

"No, sir. The message that Tonks gave them about winning the contest worked beautifully. They and Harry's cousin were gone by the time we got there, and did not return before we left."

Dumbledore nodded. "How is Harry?" he asked, his voice and eyes softening.

"Frustrated and scared," Remus said honestly. "He was thrilled to see us, of course. He could hardly wait to get out of the house. But he's angry over the lack of information he's received, and very worried about his hearing."

"Yes, I expected that." He sighed. "I've done my best to make this hearing easy for him. Really, as long as Cornelius follows the law, there is no reason that Harry should be punished. Even underage wizards are allowed to use magic to save their own lives."

"He's still nervous," Remus said. "It might help him to hear that from you, sir."

Dumbledore smiled vaguely. "I'll see him if I can."

"Sir, I have a request," Sirius said, speaking for the first time since Dumbledore had summoned him and Remus to the library to discuss Harry's arrival.

"Yes?" Dumbledore asked, looking at him curiously.

"I'd like to accompany Harry to his hearing," Sirius said without preamble.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "You want to just walk into the Ministry offices, knowing very well that that the Ministry is searching for you?"

"I'd like to go in my Animagus form, sir." He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he continued, "I promise not to do anything that could jeopardize Kingsley's investigation into my whereabouts – particularly when I'm supposed to be in Tibet."

"I've heard that Tibet is lovely this time of year," Dumbledore replied with a smile. He looked pensive. "You would risk your safety and freedom to accompany Harry to his hearing?"

"I don't want him to have to go in there alone, sir."

"Arthur will take him," Dumbledore said, "and I will join him once he is there. He won't be alone."

"Still . . . I'd like to be there with him."

Dumbledore nodded. "Will you give me time to consider this?"

"Of course."

"I'll let you know before the hearing." He placed his empty glass back on the tray that Remus had set on the table. "I should return to the school. I want to see if there have been any applications for the Defense position."

Remus couldn't help grinning. "People tend to be afraid to take cursed jobs, sir."

"Yes," Dumbledore said pensively. "It is becoming most difficult to find applicants. But, after the post I received from Cornelius this afternoon, it is imperative that I find a suitable teacher – the sooner, the better."

"Post from the Minister?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.

Dumbledore sighed. "He has passed an educational decree giving himself power to appoint teachers at Hogwarts if 'suitable instructors' cannot be found within a set amount of time before the start of the school year."

Sirius's eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that the Ministry is trying to interfere at Hogwarts?"

"Trying, Sirius, trying," Dumbledore said. "Cornelius forgets that I am still Headmaster of the school. Even if he does succeed in appointing teachers, they will still answer to me. They will still teach the curriculum I set forth." He smiled slightly, his eyes twinkling. "As much as he may hate to admit it, it is still my school."

"So you're not worried?" Sirius asked.

"No more than I need to be," Dumbledore replied. "Please do not mention this to the children. There is no reason for them to concern themselves with a problem that is mine alone." He glanced at Remus. "I don't suppose there's a chance you'd like to have your old job back?"

Remus sighed. "I would love to come back, sir," he said, "but you know I can't."

Dumbledore nodded. "I expected you to say as much. But, if you change your mind, my offer still stands."

"Thank you, sir."

He nodded again. "I should really be going. Tell Harry to keep himself out of trouble."

"That shouldn't be too difficult for him," Remus smiled. "Molly has a very full cleaning schedule for all the children."

"Good. Keep him busy. That way he won't have time to think about what's happening."

"We'll do that."

Dumbledore nodded again, and stood to his feet. "I'll see you both before the hearing," he promised as he took his leave.

Alone with him in the library, Sirius looked at Remus. "Why did you turn him down? I know that you loved that job. Why didn't you take it back?"

Remus smiled sadly. "You know why."

Sirius sighed. "Someday, Remus, you're going to have to stop using that excuse."

"It's not an excuse. It's far more trouble than it's worth to have me teaching at Hogwarts. Aside from all that he'd have to deal with over all that new legislation we have courtesy of Dolores Umbridge, parents would be screaming for not only my head, but also for Dumbledore's if they knew he was employing a werewolf to teach their children."

Sirius shook his head. "He was willing to take the risk."

"He wants to find a – what did he say? – 'suitable instructor,' before the Ministry finds one for him." Remus smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, I have a feeling the Ministry would think of me as less than suitable, regardless of what Dumbledore said on my behalf."

"The government and the law are letting you hide behind your favorite excuse this time," Sirius said. "But don't expect it to always go this way."

Remus sighed, and looked away. "It generally does."

"Remus," Sirius began.

"Don't," Remus said. He cast his mind around for a new topic, and hit upon the other part of their conversation with the Headmaster. "You want to go with Harry to the hearing?" he asked.

"Of course," Sirius replied. "You don't?"

"Arthur and Dumbledore will be there with him," Remus said. "I know he trusts both of them, and I'm sure they'll do all they can for him."

"But how can you not want to be there yourself? How can you not want to support him through this?"

Remus sighed. "Unfortunately, Sirius, my decision has very little to do with Harry himself, and everything to do with the Order."

"The Order?"

"Yes. You know that Dumbledore wants to keep us under wraps for now. How would it look if I showed up at the Ministry with Harry? It makes sense for Dumbledore to be there – he's Harry's headmaster, and the hearing deals with Harry's expulsion from his school. It makes sense for Arthur to take him – everyone knows how close Harry and Ron are, and that Harry often stays with the Weasleys. But I? I'm just one of Harry's teachers – one who, based on current laws, should be unemployed and as far away from 'civilized society' as possible." He finished his speech with a rather bitter, angry tone.

"Down, boy," Sirius teased.

Remus shook his head and twisted his hands in agitation. "I'm sorry. It's just that every time I think of the Ministry and what they've done to Harry, or that Umbridge woman and what she's done to me, it makes me so angry . . ."

"Good!" Sirius said approvingly.

"Good?" Remus asked.

"You don't get angry nearly often enough," Sirius said. "You need to let your anger out more often, or you'll end up like Harry, screaming your head off at your best friends just to release the tension."

Remus smiled. "He did sort of bite their heads off, didn't he?"

Sirius grinned. "Just like Lily would have."

"Yeah, she had quite the explosive temper."

"There's so much of them – both Lily and James – in him," Sirius said. "It's more than just he fact that he look enough like James to be his twin. It's his personality, the way he relates to people, everything about him. He reminds me of them so much."

"He is very like them," Remus said slowly, "but he's also quite different."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, standing up. "He's a great kid."

"He is," Remus agreed.

"Well, I'm going to go see if he's still awake – say good night again."

Remus nodded, watching as Sirius left the room. Even after he was gone, Remus continued to stare into the doorway that had framed his retreating back.

"Oh, Sirius," he sighed, "was Molly right? Do you even realize who he _is_? Do you think he's your best friend back from the dead?"

Remus had always known that the bond between Sirius and James was stronger than any other. He had known that, although he was one of their best friends, nothing could ever rival the friendship they shared. Sirius and James had been inseparable at Hogwarts, and had remained the closest friends imaginable until James's death. Could it be that Sirius truly wasn't ready to let go of that friendship? Could it be that he was searching for a way to rebuild the bond he and James had once shared?

Remus shivered slightly, hoping that he was wrong, that Sirius was just making sweeping statements about Harry. Of course Sirius knew that Harry wasn't James. Of course he knew that he would never have James back. Of course he knew that Harry viewed him, Sirius, as a father figure, not as a friend.

Didn't he?

* * *

"Honestly, Sirius, I think this house truly is fighting back against us," Tonks laughed as she shoved a stack of parchment aside so she could sit down on the couch with her cousin.

"Still recovering from the toilet incident?" Sirius grinned.

"I may be recovering for the rest of my life!"

Remus, from his spot working at the library's one desk, looked at her with an amused smile. "The kids and Molly have done far more than we have."

"They're troopers," Tonks agreed. She glanced at Sirius. "Has Dumbledore told you if you can go with Harry on Thursday?"

"No, I haven't seen him yet," Sirius replied. He frowned slightly. "You'd think he'd be here more now that Harry's here."

"Why?" Remus asked absently.

"He went on and on about protecting Harry before we got him here, and now that he is here, where Dumbledore can watch him every waking moment if he so chooses, Dumbledore is as far from headquarters as ever."

"He knows we're all here," Remus replied. "I'd like to see a Death Eater just _try_ to get at Harry between you and Molly Weasley."

Sirius smiled. "Molly's a bit overprotective, don't you think?"

"I think it's exactly what Harry needs," Remus said. "He doesn't remember having Lily fuss over him when he was a baby, and goodness knows Petunia never cared enough to mother him. I think Molly – and Arthur and all the Weasleys – do him a world of good."

Sirius nodded, but remained silent.

The library door opened, and Dumbledore came in. He smiled at the three of them.

"Good evening."

"We were just talking about you, sir," Tonks said cheerfully. "Were your ears burning?"

"They were tingling a bit," Dumbledore smiled, winking at Tonks. "I had hoped to speak with Sirius."

"Have you reached a decision about the hearing?" Sirius asked without preamble.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "I am certain that you will understand, Sirius, why it is in the best interest of Harry, the Order and you yourself that you not accompany Harry to his hearing. There is too much at stake to take such a risk. Harry with have Arthur and I with him the entire time, so you can rest assured that he will not be alone."

Sirius scowled. As Remus watched his friend's expression darken, he wondered how much time he had before Sirius's temper flared.

"Have you spoken to Harry, sir?" Remus asked quickly.

"No, Molly told me that he is asleep. There is no need to wake him. I will see him at the hearing."

"I think he'd like to see you," Remus offered. "I think it might reassure him to know –"

"I will see him at the hearing," Dumbledore repeated, interrupting Remus. "Good night, gentlemen, Nymphadora."

As soon as the door closed behind him, Sirius jumped up off the couch. "He came all the way here to tell me _that_?" he spat.

"Sirius," Tonks said in an attempt to placate him, "I know you're disappointed, but Dumbledore's right, it's too much of a risk."

"The risk is what makes it worth it," Sirius said angrily.

"No, the risk is what makes it stupid," Remus said bluntly. "We're not fifth years anymore, Sirius, and this isn't some brilliant plan to sneak down to the kitchens after curfew. We're adults, and we're dealing with a very real danger."

"Do you think I don't see that?" Sirius yelled. "My God, Remus! I know as well as you do what we're up against! I was in the Order last time, remember? I was an Auror! I know better than most what we're fighting and what's at stake!"

"Then be an adult about it," Remus said. "Dumbledore has denied permission for you to go with Harry to the hearing. Well, Ron and Hermione can't go either, and I'm sure you understand how much they want to be there to support Harry. You need to set the example for them, to show them that they can sit here and worry just as easily as they could sit outside Amelia Bones's office and worry."

Sirius glared at him. "Don't think that you're going to make me feel better with your logic, Lupin."

"I'd never dream of it," Remus said wearily.

"Well," Tonks said, standing to her feet, "as thrilling as this display has been, I think I'll take my leave." She paused. "I have night duty tomorrow, but I'll stop by here before I got home in the morning – I want to tell Harry good luck before he leaves for his hearing."

"I think he'd appreciate that," Remus smiled.

"I think so, too." She leaned down to kiss Sirius's cheek. "Chin up, Sirius. He'll only be gone for a few hours, then he'll be cleared and life can go back to normal."

Sirius smiled sadly. "As normal as it ever is, you mean."

"Yes, that." She grinned at both of them. "I'll see you Thursday."

She walked out the room, closing the door softly behind her. Remus looked at Sirius warily.

"Are you all right now?"

"Do you know what Harry asked me the other day?" Sirius asked rather than respond to Remus's question.

Remus shook his head.

"He asked me if he could come to live here if he was expelled from Hogwarts."

Remus's eyes widened. "What did you say?"

"I gave him every parent's favorite answer – 'we'll see.'"

Remus grinned. "My parents used that all the time."

"Yeah, it seemed like a safe answer." He paused, and ran his hands over his face. "I'd love to have him here, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus said, his eyes widening again, "you can't – you aren't hoping that he'll _lose_? You don't _want_ to see him expelled, do you?"

"Of course not," Sirius replied. He sighed. "I just – it'd just be nice to have someone here with me, that's all."

"I'm here."

"When you're not off on Order missions. But once the kids go back to school and Molly and Arthur go back home, it's going to just be me and Buckbeak again." He drew a deep breath. "I would never wish Harry any harm. But, if he does lose on Thursday, do you think he would be able to come here to live?"

"Dumbledore would probably decide," Remus said slowly. "But, Sirius – you do realize that he's only fifteen, right? You do realize that he _needs_ to go to school, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Good." Remus moved as though to go back to his work, but stole another glance at his friend. Sirius was staring into space, his expression still holding anger and sadness.

* * *

Remus awoke incredibly early on Thursday morning. He spent half an hour trying to go back to sleep, but eventually gave it up as an impossibility. As much as he hated to admit it, he was far too nervous over Harry's hearing to sleep.

When he made it down to the kitchen, he found Tonks already there, searching through the cupboards. He smiled at the sight of her with her head practically buried in a cupboard.

"Good morning."

She jumped, slamming the cupboard door closed. "Remus! You scared me to death!"

Remus smiled wider. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. What are you looking for?"

"I wanted to make some tea," she said. "Unfortunately, I can't seem to find any." She paused to yawn hugely. "I could really use the caffeine."

"Here, let me help," Remus said, stepping closer to her. "Molly just arranged all the cupboards yesterday, so everything's in a different place now. But, I'm sure we can find some tea for you – I'd hate to have you sitting here without being fully caffeinated."

"Oh, sod off," Tonks said, yawning again.

"Language, Miss Tonks," Remus said with a chuckle.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "I'm sorry! Did that offend you? I never think before I speak, my mother's always yelling at me about it –"

"Tonks, calm down," Remus laughed. "I was kidding. I was a teacher, remember? Do you know how many times a day I heard that?"

She grinned. "What did you say to the students?"

"I told them that I thought they were intelligent enough to come up with better words."

Tonks laughed. "What did they say to that?"

"They'd usually come up with better words." He pulled a container of tea leaves from the cupboard. "Here it is."

"I'll bet you were a great teacher," Tonks said as Remus set the tea on the counter.

"I hope so," Remus said. He smiled. "I really loved it. I wish – " He stopped abruptly.

"Why didn't you take Dumbledore up on his offer, then? You can have the job back if you want it."

"There's a lot of reasons," Remus said dismissively. "For one, there's far too much to be done for the Order for me to take a teaching position."

"Dumbledore and McGonagall make it work."

"But they don't do as much field work as I do," Remus replied. He shook his head. "I'll do my Order work for now. Maybe someday, I'll be able to go back to teaching."

"Well, I wish that you had been my teacher," Tonks grinned. "I know I would have paid far more attention in class if you had been."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

Tonks flushed, realizing exactly how flirtatious her comment had been. "Nothing," she said quickly.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Remus, I –"

"Good morning."

They both looked up as the kitchen door opened and Sirius walked into the room. Tonks wanted to hug him for his timing. She couldn't believe that she had said that to Remus!

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "Remus and I were just making some tea. Do you want some?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan," Sirius replied.

They were almost immediately joined by Arthur and Molly. Molly took over at the stove, heating the water for the tea, and chased the others into seats around the table.

"How was your duty, Tonks?" Arthur asked.

"Boring," she replied. "I'm actually more concerned about my actual job."

"What about it?" Remus asked, frowning slightly.

"I'm afraid that Scrimgeour is starting to suspect Kingsley and I of having other loyalties."

Any further statement she would have made was cut off by the kitchen door swinging open yet again. They all looked up as Harry appeared, looking utterly terrified.

"Breakfast," Molly said immediately, ushering Harry to the table.

Tonks helped Harry take a seat while Molly fired breakfast options at him. Remus watched Harry's face, knowing that the last thing he wanted was more attention. He looked back at Tonks.

"What were you saying about Scrimgeour?"

"Oh . . .," Tonks said, looking at though she was trying to remember her previous statement. "Yeah . . . well, we need to be more careful, he's been asking Kingsley and me funny questions . . ."

"Define 'funny,'" Sirius frowned.

"Well, some of it's small stuff – asking about what we're doing after work, or what we're doing on the weekends."

"Sounds like typical office conversation," Arthur frowned.

"Yeah, except that Scrimgeour has never been one for office conversation," Tonks said, yawning again. "He's there to work, not to socialize. He's made that abundantly clear. I think it's what made Moody respect him so much. I'm sure it's the reason he took over the department when Moody 'retired.'" She grinned as she air-quoted the last word. "Seriously, though, I think he suspects that we're up to something, and he wants to know what it is."

"I'll let Dumbledore know," Sirius promised.

They continued on about Order business until Arthur decided that he and Harry should go. Remus had to agree that it would be better for Harry to wait in Arthur's office than in the kitchen with all these people staring at him. After he had been thoroughly wished good luck, Harry and Arthur left the room.

Molly sighed as she cleared away Harry's dishes. "He barely touched his food."

"I think he's a bit too nervous to eat," Remus said.

"I can relate to that," Sirius said, idly stirring his tea. "I'm nervous enough to be the one in trouble with the Ministry."

"Don't say that," Remus said sharply. "You're close enough to 'trouble with the Ministry.' Don't wish it on yourself."

"I won't," Sirius promised.

The kitchen door opened yet again, and the other teenagers appeared.

"Has Harry gone?" Ron asked.

Molly nodded. "Dad took him to the Ministry about ten minutes ago."

Ron sighed as he dropped into a chair. "I wanted to tell him good luck again."

"He knows," Molly said. "Does anyone want some breakfast?"

Ron and the twins ate with ravenous appetites, but Hermione and Ginny merely picked at their food. Molly looked at them with concern.

"Girls, you need to eat," she said.

"I'm too worried about Harry," Hermione confessed.

"Me, too," Ginny agreed. She gave her brothers a look of disgust. "How can you eat knowing that Harry's going through this horrible hearing?"

Fred shrugged. "Just because Harry's a at hearing doesn't mean we have to starve ourselves. Really, he should be used to the feeling. He gets into more trouble than you, Ron and Hermione combined."

"Aren't you worried about him?" Ginny pressed.

"A bit," George replied. "But he always manages to talk himself out of trouble. I'm sure he'll be fine."

Ginny made a sound of disgust, and went back to sliding her food around on her plate.

* * *

The entire Order and Harry's friends breathed easy again once the charges were dropped. Despite everyone's not-so-calm assurances that the law was on Harry's side, that there was no way he'd actually be convicted, and that he would not have a bit of trouble at the hearing, Remus knew that he wasn't the only one who was extremely relieved by the verdict.

But he also knew that one person in particular wasn't extremely thrilled by it, either. Although his time in the house had become limited by the amount of time that he was assigned to missions and duties outside it, Remus could easily see that Sirius was quite despondent over Harry's impending departure. Remus knew that he adored his godson and would ever wish him harm, but he couldn't help feeling that Sirius would not have been entirely disappointed if the Ministry had expelled Harry from Hogwarts.

He wanted desperately to talk to his friend about this turn of events, but he simply did not have the time. The first opportunity that he had to speak with him did not lend itself to private conversation; nearly the entire Order was assembled to celebrate Ron's and Hermione's appointment as Gryffindor prefects.

"How does Harry feel about Ron and Hermione being prefects?" Remus asked Tonks in an undertone as they walked into the party.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to him," she replied. "Do you think he'll be upset?"

"He might be," Remus shrugged. "I can imagine he feels a little left out – they are his best friends, you know."

"I was thrilled not to be a prefect," she said. "I suppose the twins said it best – I was afraid it would suck the fun right out of my life."

Remus smiled, but remained silent.

Tonks's mouth fell open, and her cheeks flushed pink. "Oh, no. You were a prefect, weren't you?"

"I was," Remus smiled.

"Oh, Remus, I didn't mean anything by it! God, can I _ever_ say the right thing?"

Remus laughed. "Stop thinking that you're offending me! I'm not _that_ old, you know."

"I've never thought of you as old," she said emphatically. "Never. You're just – you seem so much more reserved than me. I'm never sure if I'm shocking you or not."

Remus grinned. "I've been friends with Sirius since I was eleven, and you think that I can still be shocked?"

Tonks laughed. "I suppose that's a good point."

"Come on, let's get some food."

Remus had to hand it to Molly – she knew how to throw a good party. He did overhear quite a few conversations speculating on Dumbledore's choice of Ron for prefect over Harry, but tried to stay away from them. He didn't fully understand Dumbledore's reasons himself, but was sure that it had to do with the prophecy and with Harry's continued position as Voldemort's number one target.

The party was winding down when Molly left the room to deal with the boggart that had found its way into the house. Remus watched as Harry left the room soon after her, clearly through with celebrating his friends' good fortune.

"Where's Harry going?" Sirius asked, crossing to join Remus.

"I think he's had enough partying," Remus replied.

Sirius shook his head. "He seems a bit upset about not being a prefect, doesn't he?" He gave Remus a teasing smile. "Not that I can think of any reason why anyone would actually _want_ to be a prefect . . ."

Remus laughed. "I know that you and James were secretly jealous of me all those years."

"Until James became Head Boy."

"Yes, until then." He grinned. "But I know that you were still jealous."

"Yeah –"

The rest of Sirius's statement was cut off by the sound of Harry screaming something. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance and took off up the stairs. The uneven steps behind them told them that Moody, too, was rushing to Harry's side.

They followed the sound of Harry's voice until they found him with Molly, who was crying. As Remus looked around the room, his eyes fell on Harry's dead body on the floor. Understanding dawned; he took out his wand and quickly banished the boggart.

That was the easy part; comforting Molly took some time. Remus finally convinced her to go back to the party and spend some time with her family. Moody accompanied her; Remus hoped that he wasn't telling terrifying stories from the first war. He looked at Harry, who was still standing uncertainly in the room.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I can imagine that it would be a bit disconcerting to see your dead body on the floor in front of you."

Harry shook his head. "It was just a boggart, Professor."

Remus looked at him sadly. "You're sure you're all right?"

"Yes. I'm just going to go to bed."

"Good night, then."

"Good night."

Harry started to leave the room, but Sirius stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Harry looked up at him quizzically.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked down at him for several moments, squeezing his shoulder tightly. He looked as though he wanted to say something to his godson, but could not find the words. Finally, he released him, letting Harry leave the room.

"Are _you_ all right?" Remus asked Sirius once Harry was gone.

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said sarcastically. "Just great. Peachy, in fact. My greatest joy in life is seeing my godson's dead body on the floor."

"It was just a boggart, Sirius."

"Just a boggart?" Sirius asked, his voice just above a whisper, his eyes over-bright. "No, Remus, it was far more than just a boggart." He paused. "I would think that you would feel the same way, since you were such good friends with his father."

"His father?" Remus repeated. "Sirius, what on earth does James have to do with this?"

"James has everything to do with this!" Sirius exclaimed. He paced around for several moments, then turned to look at Remus again. Remus was shocked to see the tears that stood in his friend's eyes.

"Sirius," he said slowly.

"James has everything to do with _everything_ where Harry is concerned," Sirius said. "Maybe . . . Remus, maybe Molly is right. Maybe I do see Harry as James. I don't know. All I do know is that it was my job to keep James safe. _Mine_. And I handed that responsibility over to Peter without thinking – without knowing . . ."

"Sirius, how could you know?" Remus asked quietly. "You trusted Peter, of course you trusted Peter, we all did – none of us ever thought that he could be a spy – _the_ spy –"

"I should have known," Sirius said, his voice cracking. "James and Lily trusted me to keep them safe. We sat in my flat and they both told me that. They told me that they trusted me with their lives. And I told them that I would die for them. Well, Remus, here I am. I'm still living, and they're both dead. I might not be able to go outside, but I'm here, in this house, alive and talking to you, while they're both buried in Godric's Hollow. They trusted me with their lives, and I failed them."

"Sirius, you didn't kill them," Remus said firmly.

"_But_ _I did_," Sirius said fiercely. "I couldn't save their lives, even though I promised that I would. But, I also promised that I'd do everything in my power to keep Harry safe. I swore to them that I'd defend him as long as I lived." A single tear rolled down his cheek. "Remus, I couldn't save James after I swore that I would. For the first time in my life, I broke a promise that I made to him. I can't break another. I _have_ to save his son. I have to keep Harry alive and happy and healthy, even if it means risking my own freedom. Even if it means risking my own _life_."

Remus's breath caught in his throat. He had never realized how strongly Sirius felt about Harry, or how much guilt he still struggled with over James and Lily's deaths. He had never known . . . so many things.

"I'll help you," he said at last. "I'll do anything I can to help you keep your promise to James and Lily."

Sirius drew a deep breath. "Thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome," Remus replied, his own voice just as soft.

Sirius drew another raspy breath. "Molly's boggart – Remus, mine would be the same. I'd see Harry's dead body. Sometimes, I have nightmares that he's dead, that I'm standing at his grave, that . . . that I've let James down again. And I _can't_ do that. I can't. I'd – I'd never be able to live with myself. I have to save him this time."

Looking into Sirius's eyes, Remus could not find the words to reply. He reached across and pulled Sirius into a brotherly embrace, comforting him as he had comforted Molly only moments before. Sirius clung to him, struggling to contain the sobs that wanted to tear from his throat. He screwed his eyes shut only to see again the haunting images of James and Lily's bodies lying among the mangled wreckage of their house. A sob escaped, followed by another and another until he was sobbing hysterically.

Remus held him tightly, but remained silent. For perhaps the first time since that horrible night, Sirius was allowing himself to feel the grief of losing the man he had considered a brother for so many years. After several moments, Sirius managed to calm down until only the occasional sob racked his frame.

"We'll keep him safe, Sirius," Remus whispered, still keeping his arms locked around his friend. "We'll keep your promise to James. No matter what happens, we'll keep Harry safe."


	12. The Devil in the School

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving to all those in the US! I'm sorry this took so long – our grading period just ended, so I was spending way more time than usual on school-related work. But now I'm on Thanksgiving break, so I should have the next chapter out by Monday! Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone!

LogicalRaven: Sorry, still no Olivia in this chapter – but she will be back . . .

Turtledove797: I've never given much thought to Bill and Fleur, but I'll see if I can work them in . . . if not, maybe they'll be something for me to consider writing in the future!

I don't own Harry Potter.

The Devil in the School

"Things are going downhill fast at Hogwarts."

"What do you mean?" Molly asked quickly. The other Order members, too, perked up at Tonks's words.

"I mean that from what I've been able to gather, Fudge has appointed the new Defense professor," Tonks said grimly.

"Who is it?" Remus asked.

"I haven't been able to get that much," she said. "But, I have heard that his main concern is still that Dumbledore will mobilize the students against him."

"That's laughable," Remus said.

"Not if you're a Minister who thinks that the most powerful wizard alive is trying to undermine you," Tonks replied. "Anyway, along with this new professor, Fudge is introducing a new DADA curriculum – one that involves absolutely no practical component."

"No practical?" Remus exclaimed. "How are they going to learn anything? The practical component is the most important part of the class!" His eyes widened. "If they never learn to do the spells . . . How on earth are those students supposed to be ready for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s without a practical class?"

"The assumption is that studying the theoretical magic behind the spells will be enough to learn to perform them."

"Right, and studying the ingredients of a potion is enough to be able to brew it," Sirius snapped. "What is Fudge thinking?"

"He's thinking that if the students learn how to do the spells, they'll be able to use them against him," Tonks said.

Bill looked at her in wonder. "He's really serious about this, isn't he? He really, truly thinks that Dumbledore is going to try to overthrow him using an army of students."

"Yeah, he does," she replied.

"How does he honestly believe that?" Molly asked. "How can he possibly think that the students alone can overthrow him?" She smiled slightly. "He doesn't seem to have much faith in his Aurors, does he?"

Kingsley smiled. "I'm not sure that he's entirely convinced of anyone's loyalty at this point. He may think that we'd join up with Dumbledore and the students against him."

"I just don't understand how any of this can be solved by appointing one professor with one new curriculum," Sirius said. "How can that change the course of history, as it were?"

"I don't know," Tonks said. "But, really, it's not as if anything he's doing right now makes any sense. We'll just chalk this up to paranoia, and add it to the growing list of reasons that he should be sacked." She sighed. "Look, I'm just the messenger, okay? I didn't come up with this brilliant educational plan, and I certainly didn't set it in motion. I'm just telling you what I've heard around the office."

"As a point of curiosity, where did you learn all this information?" Arthur asked. "I've been trying to come up with that sort of news for weeks without luck."

"I have a friend in the Auror department whose daughter goes to Hogwarts," she said. "He was asking around just because he was curious about the new curriculum – he had heard rumors, and wanted to check them out." She made a face. "Unfortunately, he said this is exactly what that school needs."

"Far too many people are going to think that way," Bill said tiredly. "Fleur hears about it all the time at the bank. She said the customers are always going on about how Dumbledore's past his prime and can't keep on as he has been with the school." He sighed. "The parents are ready for new leadership."

"That school doesn't need new leadership!" Remus exclaimed. "Dumbledore's been headmaster for decades, and he's always had superior results!"

"And people are concerned that he's resting on his laurels," Bill said. "The _Prophet_ has done a good job of convincing the public that both Dumbledore and Harry are crazy. People don't have the trust in them that they once did."

"How can this be happening?" Remus muttered. "It's one thing to launch a campaign against Dumbledore as a person, but it's completely another to attack his school. Doesn't Fudge realize how many lives he's playing with?"

"I don't think he cares," Tonks said slowly. "As long as they aren't being trained to attack him, he doesn't care what those kids are learning."

"Government and education don't mix," Remus said. "Just because Fudge can run the magical community doesn't mean he can run a school. He doesn't know a thing about education, and he shouldn't try to change what he doesn't understand."

"Right now, I'm not even sure he can run the magical community," Sirius grinned. "Don't worry too much, Remus. I don't think that Dumbledore will let it go too far."

Tonks shook her head. "What scares me, Sirius, is that he doesn't have much of a choice."

* * *

"Checkmate."

Remus made a face. "You've always been better at this game than me, you know."

"I know," Sirius grinned. "That's why I like playing you so much."

"Oh, funny," Remus replied. "You know, I might get better and beat you someday."

"You had twelve years to practice when I couldn't get anywhere near a chessboard," Sirius laughed. "I don't see you playing any better for it."

"You know, you shouldn't mock those with less ability."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "When have you ever known that to stop me?"

Remus laughed. He stopped abruptly as he saw a flash of white at the window. "Isn't that Harry's owl?"

Sirius was on his feet in an instant. "It is!" he exclaimed. He crossed to open the window, letting Hedwig fly into the room.

"Why would Harry write here?" Remus frowned, rising from his own seat.

"I don't know," Sirius replied, taking the scroll from the owl. Hedwig nipped at his hand affectionately, then took off again out the open window. Sirius smiled ruefully. "At least she didn't tear my hands apart this time. The last time Harry sent me a letter with Hedwig, it came with explicit instructions to make sure that I wrote back."

Remus smiled. "He's not so desperate for news now that he's not being attacked by dementors."

Sirius shuddered. "Don't remind me." He opened the letter and began to read. His eyes widened in shock.

"What?" Remus asked. "What does he say?"

"He had a horrible first week back," Sirius said slowly. "Remus . . ."

"What?" Remus asked. "Just tell me!"

"It's the new Defense professor," Sirius said in the same slow, deliberate voice. "Tonks didn't know who it was last week, but Harry names her."

"Well? Who is it?"

"He says the new teacher's name is Professor Umbridge."

Remus's face paled as his eyes opened wide. "Professor Umbridge?" he repeated. "It can't be – not _Dolores Umbridge_?"

"How many people have that name?" His eyes narrowed. "Or, better put, how many people that close to Fudge have that name?"

"My God," Remus muttered, his voice shaking slightly. "How can this be? How can they let that woman teach them? How can Dumbledore let someone who clearly hates anyone who isn't – anyone who – How can he let that woman teach my students?" he finally exploded.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair, clutching it slightly in a gesture reminiscent of James when he was frustrated. "Okay, Remus, look, we don't know for sure that it's her –"

"Who else could it be?" Remus shouted. "Why the hell would she be allowed in a school? Why would she be allowed to teach _Defense_ of all things? This is complete insanity! We have to do something, Sirius! We can't let this happen!"

"What exactly are we supposed to do?" Sirius asked, trying to stay calm for the sake of keeping his friend calm. "Dumbledore offered you the job, Remus, but you turned him down."

"I could never teach there again," Remus replied. "But that doesn't mean that someone completely unqualified should!"

"I don't think Fudge cares about qualifications," Sirius said. "I think all he cares about is getting someone on his side inside Hogwarts."

"This isn't about sides!" Remus yelled. "This is about the students – about their education! Harry and his friends have their O.W.L.s this year! They can't have someone like that teaching them!"

"She'll prepare them for the tests," Sirius said. "How would it look for the Ministry if their hand-selected educator couldn't manage to get her students to pass their exams?"

"Do you really think that Fudge cares about that?" Remus spat. "You said it yourself – all he wants is to have someone on his side in there. I'm just amazed that Dumbledore would allow it to happen."

"Based on what Dumbledore said before about that law that Fudge wrote, I don't think he had much of a choice. His hands are tied."

"Well, he needs to untie them," Remus said irritably. "This can't happen. He can't let some ridiculous law destroy the students' education. That woman shouldn't be allowed within a mile of children, let alone be allowed to teach them." His eyes widened again. "No, Sirius, you're wrong. My God, they're all going to fail their exams."

"Look, I know she's not qualified, but that doesn't mean –"

"Don't you remember what Tonks said? She said they've eliminated the practical part of the curriculum! With that idiot trying to teach them using only theory, there's no way they'll ever be able to pass!"

"I still don't think the Ministry can let them all fail."

"The Ministry doesn't control the examining board – as of last report, they're still an independent panel."

"Give it time," Sirius said wryly. "If Fudge wants to control education, let him _really_ control it."

"That moron won't realize that he needs to control the examining board until they all fail," Remus replied. "He thinks this new curriculum will really work – the kids will still learn, but they won't be able to help Dumbledore knock him out of his job." He ran his hands over his face. "This is unthinkable. That cow is teaching a curriculum that no one can learn from."

Sirius drew a deep breath. "I don't think that Harry likes her, either."

"What does he say about her?"

"He compares her to my mother." A ghost of a smile flitted across Sirius's face. "That speaks volumes, doesn't it?"

"What a nightmare," Remus said, shaking his head. "What an absolute nightmare. I can't even image being in her class." He paused. "Never mind – I don't have to. She would have found a way to bar me from taking it."

Sirius drew a deep breath, trying to find a way to redirect the conversation. "Harry asks about Hagrid, too."

"Really?" Remus said, startled out of his horrified thoughts of the idea of Dolores Umbridge teaching the students that he still considered to be his. "Does he mention him by name? That's awfully dangerous –"

"No, he just references a friend, but it's obviously Hagrid." Sirius sighed. "I wish I had some sort of news to give him– something to make him feel better."

"I wish we knew something to make _us_ feel better," Remus said uncomfortably.

"Dumbledore's not worried yet," Sirius reminded him. "I'm sure that if we needed to worry, Dumbledore would have told us." Even though he tried to sound confident, his concern was evident in his voice.

"What else does Harry say?" Remus asked, trying not to think about what might have happened to Hagrid.

"His scar has been bothering him again," Sirius said, frowning. "He said it hurt during detention with Umbridge."

This time it was Remus who smiled slightly. "Detention during his first week at school? His father would be so proud."

Sirius looked up from the parchment and smiled. "Yeah, James would get a laugh out of that, wouldn't he?" He looked back at the letter. "Why would his scar hurt when he's with her?"

"Didn't Dumbledore say that he thinks that Harry and Voldemort have some sort of mind connection?" Remus asked. "Maybe it had nothing to do with Umbridge at all. It was probably something that was going through Voldemort's mind that Harry got the backlash from."

"Maybe," Sirius said.

"You don't think so?" Remus frowned. "Do you think that Umbridge is working for Voldemort?"

"No, that can't be," Sirius said. "Aside from the fact that the idea of Dolores Umbridge as a servant of the Dark Lord is laughable, it's not the Death Eaters that make Harry's scar hurt, it's Voldemort. You must be right. Voldemort must have been thinking or feeling something that Harry managed to tap into."

Remus drew a deep breath. "How much of this does Harry know?"

"Not enough to make him too terribly paranoid. Just that his scar hurts more when Voldemort is feeling a particularly strong emotion."

"What's going to happen when it gets worse?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius frowned.

"This has been going on for over a year, Sirius. Based on the dreams he's had, I think that Harry has more access to Voldemort's mind than Dumbledore is willing admit. What happens when Harry begins to feel more than just strong emotions? Remember that dream he had about Voldemort and Peter conspiring to kill him? It turned out to be pretty accurate."

"You think he can actually see into Voldemort's mind? That he's practicing Legilimency?" Sirius asked in shock.

"I don't think that he's aware of it," Remus said uncomfortably. "But – it's just – Harry knows too much. He feels too much. He can see too much. Something's going on between him and Voldemort, and I don't like it."

"Have you mentioned this to Dumbledore?"

"With everything else we've had to worry about?" Remus asked. "No. I didn't think it was that critical. But – well, maybe it is."

"You want to teach him Occlumency," Sirius said. It wasn't a question; he already knew what the answer would be.

"I'm not sure I'm the one who should teach him," Remus said. "Occlumency has never been my strongest suit. But, he needs to learn."

"Maybe Dumbledore could teach him."

"Perhaps."

"You should mention this to him, Remus," Sirius said.

Remus shook his head. "What if I'm wrong? I'm probably just overreacting – you're always telling me that I worry too much. Maybe this is just a case of me worrying where I don't need to. There's no need to get Dumbledore involved unless it's absolutely necessary."

"At what point do we decide that it _is_ necessary?"

Remus shrugged. "We'll know it when we see it. For now, let's just believe that Dumbledore's right, and Harry just has an odd ability to feel Voldemort's emotions."

"Right," Sirius agreed thoughtfully.

"Sirius, please don't mention this to Dumbledore," Remus said. "I really don't need one more person thinking that I'm paranoid."

Sirius smiled. "I don't think you're paranoid, Remus. I just think you worry too much."

"It's the same thing, isn't it? Look, Sirius, please just promise me you won't say anything to Dumbledore."

"All right," Sirius agreed. "I won't say anything to Dumbledore – not until we think that it's necessary."

Remus looked relieved. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"We can't say anything to Harry, either."

"No," Sirius agreed at once. "That kid has way too much to deal with as it is. The last thing we need to do is to give him one more thing to worry about."

Remus frowned slightly. "What are you going to write back to him?"

"I'm not sure," Sirius replied. "There isn't a whole lot I can say, is there? He did a really good job of asking his questions so that it wouldn't make sense to anyone else who read this letter, but answering them will be more difficult."

"Their mail is probably being monitored, too," Remus said bitterly. "At this point, I'm sure there's no place too low for Fudge to stoop to when it comes to that school."

* * *

"So where are you off to this weekend?" Sirius asked glumly as he watched Remus pack.

"Preliminary scouting of werewolf colonies," Remus said, making a face. "Just the way I've always hoped to spend my weekend."

"Ah, hunting dark creatures again. Taking Tonks along this time?" Sirius teased.

"Do you honestly think I'd put her through this?" he asked, rather horrified. "I'm going alone, Sirius."

"Is that wise?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen? I'm already a werewolf."

"They can turn pretty violent, Moony. You know that."

"I'll be careful," Remus replied. Attempting to take the spotlight off himself, he continued, "What are you up to this weekend?" He gave Sirius a teasing grin of his own. "Bringing Olivia over for a visit?"

Sirius shook his head. "She's working this weekend. I had Tonks check her schedule out for me. She said the chances of her getting off were slim to none, so I didn't even suggest it to her."

"I'm sorry," Remus said, his eyes reflecting that he truly felt for his friend. "What _are_ you going to do, then?"

Sirius shrugged. "Serve as command central, I suppose. There's going to be a lot of information coming and going with Sturgis being arrested."

"Which makes no sense at all," Remus said. "He had to be under the Imperius. He knew better than to try –"

"I know," Sirius agreed. "They're going to have a time proving it, though."

"We've had a time proving _everything_ in the past few months," Remus sighed. "It's going to get better, right?"

"I have a feeling it's going to have to get worse first," Sirius said grimly. He sighed. "We'll make it, Remus. It's going to be better than last time."

"I hope so," Remus said, thinking of the horrors they had lived through during the first war. He shook himself from his dark thoughts and picked up his knapsack. "I need to get going. Do you need anything before I leave?"

Sirius shrugged again. "What could I possibly need?"

Remus shook his head slightly. "I'll see you Monday morning."

"Good luck," Sirius replied.

"Thanks."

* * *

Based on the information Dumbledore had collected, Remus was able to locate a large werewolf colony fairly quickly. Making use of the invisibility cloak Moody had lent him, he crept around the encampment, taking copious notes about the living conditions, an estimated number of werewolves living there with average ages, the proximity to surrounding villages, and the general feelings toward wizards, Muggles and Voldemort. He was rather disheartened to learn that a certain sympathy toward Voldemort and his Death Eaters existed among the werewolves.

As of yet, Dumbledore had not asked him to do more than this. Remus was handed the mission because he was the least likely to be affected by the werewolves should they decide to attack. Remus was sure that in the future he would be asked to become a spy within this colony. While he was not exactly looking forward to that job, he was rather intrigued by all that he was currently learning. Why exactly did the werewolves support Voldemort? What could he offer them that Dumbledore couldn't?

Did Voldemort promise to rid the world of Umbridge? 

Remus couldn't help the smile that flitted across his face at that thought. Then he sobered, wondering if these werewolves even knew who Umbridge was. They had made a point to cut themselves off from society; how disconnected were they from all that was happening in the world? Did they know that one woman had made it nearly impossible for them to find work or live as normal members of society?

But . . . Did they even care? From what Remus was able to observe, they did not want to be a part of normal society. They had created their own world, and would remain living in it until their deaths, ignorant of much of what happened around them.

Why would anyone _choose_ to live that way? He tried to imagine his life if he were like them. All he could think of was all that he would have lost. No parents, no Hogwarts, no Order, no friends, no Harry . . . no Tonks . . .

He was shocked by the horror that he felt at the idea of living without Tonks as a part of his life. In the few shorts months that he had known her, she had become as good a friend to him as Sirius was, as James and Lily had been. She had become . . .

_She's a friend_, he told himself firmly. _She's just a little girl compared to you. You can remember when she was born_. _She's Sirius's little cousin. She's become like a little sister to him, and that's exactly what she should be to you, too. She sees you as an older brother, as a mentor. You _cannot_ think of her in any other way, despite what Sirius says. He doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to your relationship with her._

Remus shook his head in an effort to banish the thoughts of Tonks. Even though he knew that he saw her as a friend, and nothing more, he spent far too much time thinking about her. He picked up his quill and parchment again, ready to throw himself back into his work. As long as he kept working, he didn't have to think about anything else.

* * *

Remus did not return to headquarters until late on Monday evening. He was exhausted; the thought of writing up a report to send to Dumbledore made him want to cry. All he wanted to do was to sleep.

"You're back!"

Remus smiled at Sirius as he entered the library. "I'm back," he repeated.

"How did things go?"

"About as well as can be expected," Remus replied. "I got a good deal of information, and I wasn't attacked. I don't think they even sensed my presence."

Sirius frowned slightly. "That doesn't seem likely."

"I know," Remus said. "I think it's because it was such a large colony. One more werewolf doesn't make that much of an impact. I had Moody's cloak, at any rate."

"He's good about loaning those out."

Remus looked at his friend closely. "You're awfully cheery. Did Olivia manage to come over after all?"

"No, I haven't spoken to her," Sirius said. "I did talk to Harry, though."

Remus dropped the sheaf of parchment he had been holding. "You did what?"

"I spoke with Harry," Sirius said again.

"How?" Remus asked, nearly incapable of articulate speech.

"Through the Floo network."

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed. "Do you realize how dangerous that was?"

Sirius scowled. "You sound like Harry."

"Harry didn't want to talk to you?"

"Oh, no, he was quite excited about that," Sirius replied. "But when I suggested that I meet up with him in Hogsmeade, both he and Hermione got really upset. They said something about it being too much of a risk."

"It is!" Remus exclaimed. "How ca you even suggest going out in public? Are you trying to be recaptured and sent back to Azkaban?"

"Of course not! I was planning to go as an Animagus . . ."

"Do you think that Voldemort doesn't know your disguise by now? Peter probably told him as soon as he had a body back. And I'm certain that Voldemort would have shared that information with his Death Eaters . . . who we are almost certain include Lucius Malfoy, who would have told his son, who goes to Hogwarts with Harry –"

"Okay!" Sirius finally yelled, cutting off Remus's tirade. "You've made your point!"

"I just don't know what you were thinking," Remus said, shaking his head. "This isn't a game, Sirius! You can't just transform and go running over to Hogsmeade! If you were to be seen by anyone but Harry, Hermione and Ron – I don't even want to think about it!"

"Remus, you have always worried too much," Sirius said.

"Not this time!" Remus exclaimed. "Sirius, I don't know what is wrong with you! You're not thinking of the consequences of _anything_!"

"I just want to see my godson!" Sirius yelled. "Is that a crime?"

"Of course not," Remus replied. "The crime is in the fact that you're an escaped convict! And I don't care how innocent you are, the Ministry doesn't see it that way! If they catch you, you're going back to prison! And if that happens, you'll never see Harry again!"

"Don't you think it's worth the risk?" Sirius yelled.

"NO!" Remus yelled back. "It's the same thing as wanting to go to Harry's hearing. I know that you're only thinking about Harry, but there's no need to be stupid about it!"

"Oh, so now I'm stupid, am I?"

"Where risks are concerned, _yes_! You always have been!" He stopped and ran his hands over his face, then clasped his fingers together. "We took more risks at Hogwarts than we should have. I know that. And I'm glad we took those risks, even if I do regret some of them now. They brought us all closer together, made us better friends. But we can't do that anymore. We're not kids anymore, Sirius. You need to realize that right now, before this goes any further. You need to stop trying to use Harry and his friends so that you can relive our childhood."

Sirius flinched as though Remus had slapped him. "Is that what you think I'm doing? You think that I'm using Harry to relive my childhood?"

"Yes," Remus said bluntly, "I do. And I don't think it's fair to you or to Harry to do that. You had your chance at being a student at Hogwarts, Sirius. Let Harry have his."

"James –"

"James made you his godfather, yes," Remus interrupted. "But, from what I watched my own parents do, I can tell you that part of the job is knowing when to let go. You have to let go and let Harry live his life, Sirius."

"How can I let go?" Sirius asked, his voice cracking. "I just got him."

"Well, you don't have a choice," Remus said a bit harshly. "Get used to the idea."

He waved his wand to gather his parchment, and stalked out of the room. Sirius stood in the middle of the library, staring at the doorway that had framed his friend. Then he reached down for the first object he could find, a heavy book, and hurled it at the door. It hit the frame and bounced off, skidding across the floor.

"Damn you, Remus!" Sirius yelled.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Remus finished his report. He sealed it to send to Dumbledore in the morning, and rubbed his hands over his tired eyes. Now that he had finally stopped working, his mind was free to play over the events of the evening.

He could hardly believe that Sirius would be bold enough to use the Floo network to talk to Harry, let alone that he would suggest a trip into Hogsmeade to visit him. Remus had to give Harry credit – he was rather impressed that the teenager recognized the danger that Sirius was in.

_Thank God one of them is willing to be the adult_.

Remus sighed. He wasn't being fair to Sirius. Well – perhaps he had been fair, but there was no need to be as mean about it as he had been. Sirius had suffered greatly. He had been imprisoned for a crime that was Peter's, had lost as many friends as Remus himself had, had been ripped away from the godson that he adored . . . Remus yelling at him wasn't helping his situation.

Knowing what he needed to do, Remus rose from his seat. He needed to talk to his friend.

He found Sirius in the library, scowling into the fire. He hesitated a moment in the doorway, then entered the room.

"Sirius?" he asked.

"Come to have another go at me?" Sirius snapped.

Remus drew a deep breath. "No," he said evenly, "I've come to apologize."

Sirius's head snapped up. "What?"

"I want to tell you that I'm sorry," Remus said. He made his way into the room and sat down across from Sirius. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You're entitled to your own feelings, and it's not my job to negate them. I'm sorry."

Sirius smiled. "You were forgiven before you even left the room. You know that."

"I had to make myself feel better."

"Right." Sirius looked into the fire for a moment, the raised his eyes to meet Remus's. "You were right, you know."

"What?" Remus asked in shock.

"You were right. It is too much of a risk." He drew a deep breath. "I want desperately to see Harry, but I want even more to be able to _keep_ seeing him. It's like Molly said – it's difficult to be a godfather from Azkaban. I need to keep myself out of prison so that I can be here for Harry when he needs me. And if I were found with him in Hogsmeade, who knows what would happen to him? I don't know how I could ever live with myself if Harry were in trouble for something that was my fault."

Remus put his hand on Sirius's shoulder. "You're a good godfather."

Sirius smiled slightly. "Anything for James and Lily's little boy."


	13. Cousins

A/N: I'm updating on Monday as promised! I am going back to school tomorrow, though, so no promises about the next chapter. I do want to let you know that I'll be out of town for the weekend, so that will probably slow down the writing process. But I hope to have the next chapter up within two weeks.

**Bobsterthelobster:** That's coming up in future chapters – in fact, Remus's first encounter with his "past" is in the next chapter.

**obsessedwithharrypotter: **I saw the movie over the weekend! I loved it!

**To All Readers:** Thank you so much for the positive feedback on Remus's reaction to Umbridge teaching at Hogwarts! I was really writing more of myself there than ever – as a teacher, I took Umbridge as a personal insult, so I gave most of my emotions to Remus. I also think a lot of what she did in the book tends to happen in real life, with people who are not educators and/or have no educational background making decisions about what should and should not happen in schools. Again, Remus expressed my opinions perfectly. I didn't just hand my feelings to him – He's a teacher, so that's pretty much how he would feel. Okay, I'll step off my soapbox now . . .

Thanks for your patience, everyone! And thank you for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Cousins

Remus sat alone in the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place reading over the minutes from the last Order meeting, which his guard duty in the Ministry had prevented him from attending. He frowned as he looked at the last item on the agenda. It dealt with Snape's report from within the Death Eater circle. The topic did not surprise him; Snape gave reports at every meeting he could attend. What did was the vagueness of the report. Surely a Death Eater as well connected as Snape claimed to be would be privy to more information than "no attacks are currently planned." He shrugged, wondering if Hestia, who had been in charge of recording the minutes, had written it like that as a precaution against someone outside the Order reading the document. He would have to ask Sirius – assuming that Sirius was in a civil enough mood to talk.

The truth was that Sirius had been decidedly melancholy ever since his conversation with Harry via Floo Network. Remus had assumed at first that his own conversation with Sirius was what had set him off – that he was angry because Remus had accused him of using Harry to relive his childhood. But, as the days wore on, Remus had come to the conclusion that Sirius was merely bored – bored, and aggravated with the house arrest he had been placed under. Remus wanted to help his friend, but did not know what he could do. It simply was not within his power to give Sirius the freedom he craved, or to help him reclaim the life that had been taken from him so many years ago.

Remus sighed as he thought of it. In so many ways, Sirius had lost his life the same night that James and Lily had lost theirs. His home, his job, his friends and his freedom had all been stripped from him by the same man who had sent Voldemort to curse the breath from James and Lily's bodies. Now, Sirius was struggling to rebuild his life. Remus wanted desperately to help him, to make up for all the years that he had believed Sirius guilty of a heinous crime, but did not know how to go about being supportive.

As he was pondering ways that he might help his friend break free from his melancholy, the kitchen door opened. He looked up in time to see Tonks trip into the room. She quickly righted herself, and gave Remus a bright smile.

"Hi, Remus!" she said. "I was hoping to find you alone."

"Hi, Tonks," he smiled. "What can I do for you?"

She stopped herself just before making a rather suggestive comment in reply. _I really need to stop thinking of him like that,_ she thought as she sat down across from him at the table. She looked into his soulful eyes and knew that it would be next to impossible for her to stop thinking of Remus "like that." She found him incredibly attractive, and knew that there was no way she could deny or change her feelings.

"Tonks?" Remus asked, breaking her from her thoughts. "You had a question?"

"Right," she said, shaking her head to clear it. "I wanted to talk to you about Sirius."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "What about him?"

"There's something I wanted to do to surprise him, but I need your help to organize it."

Remus grinned. "Well, doesn't this sound familiar? Are you planning to bring Olivia in for a visit?"

"No, not Olivia," Tonks replied with a grin of her own. "I'd like to bring my mother to visit him."

"Andromeda?" Remus asked. "That's a great idea! He'd love to see her! Tonks, this is perfect! I was just sitting here trying to think of a way to cheer him up. I think you've found a fantastic solution."

She beamed. "Stop with the praise, Professor, or you're going to embarrass me."

Remus grinned. "Never. You can't be embarrassed."

"It does take a bit, but I can be," she laughed. "You'll help me get my mum here, then?"

"Of course," Remus replied. "When do you want to bring her?"

"I don't know – whenever she's free, I suppose. It doesn't matter if the place is empty like last time. I don't think they need quite the 'quality time' that Sirius and Olivia needed."

"I certainly hope not," Remus laughed. "This shouldn't be too hard to arrange, then. The one you really need to talk to is Dumbledore. He has to tell Andromeda how to find us."

"Right. Is he coming to the next meeting?"

"I think so."

"Good. I'll make sure I'm there, too."

"Do you want to tell Sirius she's coming, or do you want it to be a surprise?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Can we let it be a surprise? I think it will be more exciting that way, and goodness knows he needs some excitement in his life."

Remus laughed. "Fair point. All right, I won't tell him anything about it."

"Thanks," Tonks said happily.

"And I'll try to stay out of the way while she's here," he added.

"Oh, Remus, I'm sure Mum'll want to see you, too," she replied.

"I'll say hello to her," he said, "but I really think that she and Sirius will need all the time they can get to catch up." He smiled sadly. "I remember when we were all at Hogwarts together – they were really close. I think they really felt united against the rest of their family, you know? When Regulus started school with us, Sirius and Andromeda were always together, trying to find ways to keep him away from the Slytherins and the lifestyle they offered."

Tonks tried to hide her surprise as she causally asked, "You were at Hogwarts with my mother?"

"Only for a couple years," Remus clarified. He smiled. "She was Head Girl my second year."

"Ah, yes," Tonks said in an effort to not appear affected by the information she had uncovered. "It was a terrible disappointment when I didn't make Head Girl."

"Your mother adores you," Remus smiled.

"Sometimes," Tonks laughed. She rose from her seat. "I should get to work. I just wanted to stop in to see if you thought letting them meet up would be a good idea."

"I think it's a brilliant idea," Remus replied. "Do you want me to talk to Dumbledore for you?"

"No, I'll take care of it," she said. "Thanks again, Remus."

He smiled at her. "Anytime."

She returned the smile, then hurried out of the room. Once outside the kitchen, she paused to lean against the closed door.

_Remus was at Hogwarts with my_ mother? _How can that be? He's not that much older than me . . . _

Even as the thought went through her head, she thought of Sirius. She knew that he had been a fourth year when she was born – he had told her about how he felt like a proud uncle showing off her picture to the other boys in his dormitory when he had received her birth announcement.

"Oh, God," she murmured, putting her hands over her face. "Sirius is fourteen years older than me. That means that _Remus_ is fourteen years older than me, too!"

_Well, this will probably make it easier to stop thinking of him in naughty ways._

"At least there's that," she muttered to herself. She pushed away from the wall and Disapparated.

* * *

Tonks had to admit that she was quite jumpy during the next Order meeting. She was a bit ashamed of her feelings; she was an Auror – an Auror surrounded by her colleagues. She had faced dark wizards more times than she could count. Now, she was terrified to face the one man, aside from her father, whom she had never feared: Albus Dumbledore.

The meeting seemed to drag on forever, yet to pass in mere seconds. Dumbledore finally declared the meeting adjourned, and the Order members rose to their feet. As had become their custom, the majority of the members stayed to chat. Predictably, Snape was the first to sweep out of the room. Arthur, too, left early; he was due to relieve Bill from guard duty.

Tonks swept her eyes around the room. Everyone, with the exception of Dumbledore, appeared to be deep in conversation. Summoning her Gryffindor courage, she crossed the room to join Dumbledore, who was collecting his notes.

"Professor?"

"Nymphadora," Dumbledore said, turning to her with a smile. "How are things in the Auror department? Has Rufus stopped suspecting you and Kingsley of working against him?"

She grinned. "I hope so. He hasn't asked anything odd recently, so that's a good thing. I think that Kingsley and I have become better at hiding our after-hours activities, as well."

"I'm glad to hear it." A shadow of concern passed over his eyes. "The last thing we need is the Ministry interfering in our work."

She nodded, knowing that Fudge would have them all thrown into Azkaban without a second thought if he discovered that they had brought the Order back into service.

"But there was something else you wanted to ask me, was there not?"

She smiled. "How did you know?"

"You look a bit nervous. I remember that look from your days at Hogwarts."

Her smile widened. Dumbledore's ability to remember his students never ceased to amaze her. "Yes, sir, I do have a question."

"Well, ask it, then, but all means."

She drew a deep breath. "I'd like to bring my mother to headquarters to visit Sirius."

"Your mother?"

"Yes, sir. She's Sirius's cousin, you know, and I think it would do both of them good to spend some time together. She's feeling quite guilty over believing that he had betrayed Lily and James for all those years, and he's . . . well . . ."

They both glanced over to where Sirius sat alone in a corner, his expression dark. Dumbledore nodded.

"Yes, Sirius is losing himself a bit," he said sadly. "He's been through a terrible ordeal, spending all those years in Azkaban for a crime he did not commit. But, I fear that he is facing a still more horrible trial now, as he attempts to reclaim a life that cannot, at least for now, be his again."

Tonks nodded silently, unsure of how to reply.

Dumbledore finally looked away from Sirius to face Tonks again. "I will need to meet with your mother before I can give her access to our headquarters. You understand that, don't you?"

"Yes, sir," Tonks said, wondering if the Black family name would dog her for the rest of her life the way it followed her mother and Sirius through theirs.

"I'll contact Andromeda as soon as I can," he promised. He smiled at her. "It's a lovely thing, what you're trying to do for her and Sirius."

She smiled, again at a loss for words.

Dumbledore smiled again, then stepped away from her. She was not alone for a minute before Remus was at her side.

"What did he say?"

"He's going to talk to Mum," she said. "I suppose I should tell her beforehand, shouldn't I?"

"You haven't mentioned it to her yet?"

"I didn't want to get her hopes up," Tonks replied. "I was a bit afraid that Dumbledore wouldn't allow it."

"Why wouldn't he?" Remus frowned.

Tonks shrugged. "Sometimes, the Black name can stand in the way of good things."

"Dumbledore knows your mum, Tonks," Remus replied. "He knows that she's not like the rest of your family."

She shook her head. "Mum doesn't really consider them family. She never has – well, never in my lifetime, at any rate."

"Does that bother you?" Remus asked, watching her closely.

"Not really," Tonks said with another shrug. "I've never really known them, so I suppose I haven't had the opportunity to know what I'm missing."

Remus smiled faintly. "Not much."

"You sound like Sirius," she said with a grin.

"He's never been much of a fan of the Blacks," Remus acknowledged. "I think he actually tried to convince himself that he was a long-lost member of the Potter family for awhile when we were at Hogwarts."

Tonks grinned. "I'll bet that went over well."

Remus laughed. "Well, he didn't get blasted off the family tree for nothing." He looked at her closely again. "What about you? Have you tried to deny the Black family?"

"I never really needed to – not the way Sirius and my mum did. I don't have the name. I've always been Nymphadora Tonks. Unless people have known who my mother is, and who her family is, they've never really associated me with the Blacks. And, those who _do_ know my mother generally know that she wants no part of that family."

Remus nodded. "You're fortunate."

"I think so," she smiled. She touched his arm lightly. "And you're sweet to care."

He shivered slightly at her touch. He tried to smile, but found himself putting all his effort into fighting the urge to touch her face.

"Remus, can I speak with you for a moment?"

Remus turned to look at Bill, who had just returned from the Ministry. He cleared his throat. "Yes, of course." He looked back at Tonks. "Excuse me."

She nodded and smiled.

Remus stepped away. Once again, Tonks was barely alone for a moment before she was joined, this time by Kingsley.

"Hey, King," she smiled.

"Don't be so coy," he grinned. "We need to talk."

"What are you on about?" she asked.

"You and Remus."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Are you kidding me?"

"Well, you two have been together a lot."

"So have you and I," she replied. "We _work_ together."

"Tonks, come on. There's something between you and Remus. I can see the sparks."

"Yeah, well, I think you should have your vision tested. Talk to Harry. I'm sure he can recommend a good optometrist."

"A what?"

She rolled her eyes again. "You should have taken Muggle studies while you had the chance."

"Stop trying to distract me. You know I'm a gossipmonger. I want to know what's going on with you and Lupin."

"Kingsley. He is _fourteen_ _years_ older than me."

"So?"

"So!" she cried. "Do you know what that means? It means that when he graduated from Hogwarts, I was four years old!"

"My mother is fifteen years younger than my father," he shrugged. "I don't think it's that strange."

"Well, I do."

He looked at her for a moment, then smiled. "You might say that, but you don't really believe it."

"And just who are you to tell me what I believe?"

"I'm your partner. I'm the one who's worked with you every single day since you started in the Auror department. I'm the one who watched you during your training and was so impressed with you that I begged Moody to assign you as my partner when you were ready. I'm the one who knows you better than your own mother does. You may not like it, but I'm your best friend."

She smiled in acknowledgement of the sentiment. She and Kingsley had been incredibly close since she had become his partner.

He stepped closer and looked deeply into her eyes. "You think that he's too old for you. You might think that he's too nice for you, to reserved for you, too . . . I don't even know. But even though you _think_ all those things, you _feel_ something quite different." He stepped even closer, and dropped his voice to a whisper. "You _feel_ that he might just be the perfect man for you."

She looked up at him with wide, startled eyes. Unable to speak, she just looked into the dark depths of his eyes.

A wide smile stretched across Kingsley's face and a sparkle jumped into his eyes. "I knew it."

Tonks finally found her voice. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said as she shoved past him. "I need to go talk to my mum."

She hurried from the kitchen without speaking to anyone else. She made her way into the hallway, where, once again, she fell against a wall. She shook her head to banish the conversation with Kingsley.

"I can't," she whispered. "I just can't."

Then, closing her eyes, she Disapparated.

* * *

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda exclaimed as her daughter appeared in her living room. "Hello, darling. What brings you over?"

"I need to talk to you," she said without preamble.

"All right," Andromeda said quickly. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Nothing," Tonks said, smiling as she sat down across from her mother. "I just have good news, that's all."

"Really?" Andromeda smiled, her eyes beginning to shine. "Should we wait until Dad comes home from work?"

"No, this is about you," Tonks replied.

"Oh," Andromeda said in confusion, the shine leaving her eyes somewhat.

Tonks smiled tolerantly, knowing that her mother had assumed that she was engaged – or, at the very least, seriously dating someone. "Mum, you're going to be excited, I promise."

"Well, let me be excited, then. Tell me what's going on."

"I've talked to Professor Dumbledore. He says you can go to visit Sirius."

Andromeda's eyes widened, and a smile lit up her face. "I can go see Sirius?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Dumbledore wants to talk to you first, then he'll give you access to the Order's headquarters. He said he'll contact you as soon as possible."

"I can't believe it!" Andromeda exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. She threw her arms around her daughter. "Oh, Nymphadora, you were right! This is wonderful news!" She sat back down and wiped away a happy tear. "How am I going to wait until Dumbledore contacts me?"

Almost as if in answer to her question, an owl swooped through the open window across the room. It landed in front of Andromeda, who took the letter it carried. She read the message, then looked at her daughter with a beaming smile.

"He wants me to go to Hogwarts to meet with him tomorrow."

* * *

Remus walked into the library with a sheaf of parchment in his arms. His intention was to study his notes from his previous trip to the werewolf colony in preparation for his second mission, which he would leave for over the weekend.

"Hi."

Remus checked at the sound of his friend's voice. "Hi, Sirius," he replied. "I didn't know you were in here. Do you mind if I join you?"

"Be my guest," Sirius replied.

Stepping all the way into the room, Remus saw that Sirius was lying on the couch. Several books were scattered on the floor around him.

"Reading voluntarily?" Remus asked lightly.

"I needed a nap. Reading puts me to sleep," Sirius said with a lopsided grin. "What are you up to?"

"Getting ready for my next foray into the life of a true werewolf."

"They're making you go back there?" Sirius asked.

"I have a feeling this won't end until I'm a true spy within the werewolves like Snape is within the Death Eaters."

Sirius shook his head. "But, Moony, it's not the same thing! Snape _enjoys_ what he does!"

"He's turned his back on that life, Padfoot."

Sirius shook his head. "I know how it works. Once you join the Death Eaters, death itself is the only way out."

"You just want to keep the old grudge alive."

"Maybe. But I still don't trust him. I never will."

"I don't doubt that for a minute."

A light knock sounded on the door. Remus and Sirius both looked up.

"Hello," Andromeda said softly.

Sirius sat up, then jumped off the couch. "Andromeda?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes, Sirius, it's me," she said, tears pooling in her eyes.

"I can't believe it!" he exclaimed.

They both started across the room, meeting in the middle in a warm embrace.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius laughed as he released her. "How did you get in?"

"Dumbledore gave me access," she said, laughing herself. She released Sirius and looked past him. "Hello, Remus."

"Hello," he grinned. "It's good to see you, Andromeda."

"You, too," she replied.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Remus said, recollecting his maps and notes.

"No, don't do that," Sirius said. "You wanted to actually work on things. We'll go somewhere else to talk."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked.

"Of course," Sirius insisted. "Come on, Andromeda. Let's go sit in the kitchen."

"All right," she agreed. She grinned as they left the room. "As I recall, that's where we usually hid out on holidays."

"It's the best place to nick food," Sirius grinned.

"Is Kreacher still here?" she asked.

"Of course," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "Unfortunately, he knows to much for me to free him. He'd probably just run to Narcissa with all the Order secrets."

"I don't even want to think about what she'd do with that information," Andromeda shuddered.

"She is still a Death Eater, then?" Sirius asked, holding the kitchen door open for his cousin.

Andromeda shrugged. "I haven't spoken to her in ages."

"Really?"

She sighed as she sat down at the table. "What can I say? All we did to distance ourselves from our family actually worked."

"You don't seem happy about that," Sirius said, waving his wand to make tea.

"Well, I'm not really sure how I feel about it," she admitted. "I know that I don't want to live the life that my sisters have chosen. I never wanted Nymphadora to be anywhere near that. So, I suppose that everything has worked out as I wanted."

"But?" Sirius prompted.

She shrugged. "I guess I'm like you. I wish I could have saved my siblings."

"Narcissa was lost before you even knew what was happening," Sirius said. "And Bellatrix . . . I don't think there was ever a point where she could have been stopped."

"Bella," Andromeda sighed. "It makes me ill to think of what she did to Frank and Alice Longbottom."

Pain crossed Sirius's face. "I saw her."

"What?" Andromeda asked, startled.

"In Azkaban," Sirius clarified. "I saw them bring her in."

"Oh, God," Andromeda exclaimed. "I don't know if I want to know . . ."

"I won't tell you, then."

She was silent for a moment, then leaned forward. "Tell me."

Sirius sighed. "She was flanked by dementors, like all the prisoners are when they're brought in. But it was different with Bella. She wasn't screaming like they usually are, or even attempting to escape. She just walked down the row to her cell with her head high, like she was royalty and they were her servants."

Andromeda shook her head. "How could they not affect her?"

"I don't have a clue," Sirius said. "But I remember thinking, _that's my cousin_ over and over again. I barely knew who _I_ was, but I remember knowing who she was. That jogged something in me. It was like I suddenly remembered that she really was a Death Eater, she really was the awful person everyone thought I was – but I hadn't done anything that made me deserve to be on the same level as her. That was the point when I remembered that I was innocent. That was when I started to be able to fight back."

"Oh, God, Sirius, I'm so sorry," Andromeda said. "I should never have believed that you had done what they said you did. After all those years, after all we had been through together – I should have known."

"It's not your fault, Andromeda," Sirius said softly. "I don't blame you, and I don't feel like you've wronged me."

She drew a shaky breath, and blinked back tears. "We're together again now," she said. "That's what matters, right?"

"Right," Sirius grinned. "Now, tell me all about you."

"What's to tell?" she laughed. "Ted is still a Healer, and I'm a stay at home mother whose child is grown. I have a daughter who will never marry and give me grandchildren."

Sirius laughed. "She's not an old maid, Andromeda. Tonks is still quite young."

"She's not getting any younger," Andromeda sighed. "But she hates is when I talk about things like that, so I'll stop."

Sirius laughed again. "What about the others in the family? Who's left?"

"You and I and my sisters. Narcissa's Draco is supposed to be the one who will carry on the noble work of the Black family."

Sirius grinned. "Ah, yes, Draco Malfoy. He and Harry are good friends."

Andromeda laughed. "I think that Lucius had rather hoped that they _would_ become friends – you know, the family could gain greater prominence through Draco's friendship with Harry Potter. Apparently, that didn't happen."

"Quite the opposite, really," Sirius grinned. "Ah, well, at least the feeling is mutual."

"The last time I talked to Narcissa was during Draco's first year. All she talked about was how Harry was overshadowing her son, forcing Draco into the position of second-fiddle in Dumbledore's eyes."

Sirius looked at her for a moment without speaking.

"What?" she asked.

"I've missed you," he said simply.

She smiled, and reached across to take his hand in hers. "I've missed you, too."

* * *

It was late when Andromeda left. She promised to come again soon, now that she knew how to find Sirius. He was waving his wand to clean up the kitchen when the door opened again.

"Hi, Sirius."

Sirius turned around to see Tonks coming into the room. "You are my favorite cousin!" he exclaimed. He crossed the room in two strides to pull her into a bear hug.

She laughed. "I'm glad you liked my surprise."

"You're the best!" he said. "I had such a great time with your mother."

"I'm glad," she said again. "She was really excited to come over." She sat down at the table to watch him work. "So, what did you two talk about?"

"The great relationship that Harry and Draco share," Sirius began with a grin. "We also talked about the insane streak in our family – which, fortunately, you did not inherit."

She giggled. "Mum says stuff like that, too."

"Ah, yes, we also talked about the tragic truth of your marital state."

Tonks rolled her eyes. "She's never going to give up on that, is she?"

"Not until you're married, my dear," Sirius said. He put away the last of the dishes, and sat down across from her. "For the record, I told her that you're not all that old."

"Thanks," Tonks grinned.

"But," he said, looking at her closely, "I can't help but wonder if you would change your marital status if a certain former professor were to ask you to do so."

Tonks felt her face growing hot as the color rushed to her cheeks.

"So," Sirius grinned, "I've been right in telling Remus that you have a crush on him."

"You _told_ him that?" she moaned. "Oh, Sirius, how could you?"

"Relax, Dora, he doesn't believe me," Sirius said soothingly. "And now that I know the truth, I won't say anything to him. I'll leave it up to you."

"Thanks," she said. She sighed. "Have I really been so obvious?"

Sirius grinned. "A bit."

She shook her head, and buried her face in her hands. "I really do fancy him," she said softly. She lifted her face from her hands to look at Sirius. "You're his best mate. What can you tell me about him?"

"Whoa," Sirius said, holding up his hands, "I am not the one you want to play Cupid."

"I don't want you to give him a love potion, I just want you to tell me about him."

Sirius sighed. "He's – Remus is one of the best friends I've ever had," he said slowly. "He's an incredibly good person, Tonks, but he's been incredibly scarred by tragedy. He's not had an easy life."

"He told me about being a werewolf," she offered.

"Right. He's been dealing with that ever since he was a little kid. But even more than that, he's seen firsthand how horrific war can be. We lost one of our friends to Death Eaters before we even graduated from Hogwarts. Then there was his wife . . . then Lily and James . . ."

"Was his wife killed by Death Eaters?" Tonks asked. She hated to admit it, but she wanted all the information she could get about this woman.

"No," Sirius said. He sighed. "Listen, Dora, I don't want to tell you too much about Laura. Remus is really private about that part of his life, and I don't want to invade that privacy by divulging too much. So let's just say that she made him incredibly happy – and that it nearly killed him when he lost her."

"So you're saying that he's still married to her memory, and that I don't have a chance?"

"No. I'm saying that he loved her very much. You have to tread carefully with him. Just – just go slow, Tonks, and be careful."

She nodded. "I can do that."

"Good. I think he can, too."


	14. Traces of the Past

A/N: Let's just say that going away for the weekend was more work than I imagined! But I'm back in action now. Hopefully, this week will be conducive to writing – as of now, it looks like it will be. I'll say to definitely look for an update before Christmas!

**potterlegacyfan: **Harry won't be diving into anyone's memories for awhile. I think that's chapter 20-something. But don't worry, there's good stuff in between!

**School-of-Rock101: **I'm going with what's in the books, so Harry won't meet them in this story.

**Patsfan1254:** Scrimgeour is head of the Aurors. I actually thought that Ted Tonks was a Muggle at first, too, but then I read somewhere that he was Muggle-born. I checked it out, and he's Muggle-born, not a Muggle. Either way, Andromeda's family wasn't having it!

**JP LE 4E:** I had to make Kingsley a gossipmonger! We don't know anything about him except that he's nice to Harry, so he's my new favorite character to play with. I hope you like the way I write him!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Traces of the Past

Sirius made his way slowly to the attic to feed Buckbeak. He intended to take as long as possible with the chore, knowing that only hours of solitude awaited him. Remus was away for the weekend again, leaving Sirius alone.

He was becoming used to it, really. The minutes that became hours that became days with no one to talk to were becoming as normal to him as eating rats for dinner had been only a short time ago. That wasn't to say that he _enjoyed_ all the time spent alone – only that he accepted it as an unalterable fact of his life.

After spending as much time with Buckbeak as he could, he made his way back downstairs. He wandered into the library, thinking of reading a book.

"Hi, Sirius."

He jumped a mile at the sound of her voice. "Liv!" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

She gave him a teasing smile. "Well, that's a nice greeting, after I came all the way from France to see you."

He felt a slow, silly grin spreading across his face. "Sorry."

He crossed the room, pulling her into an embrace. He lowered his lips to hers, taking his time in exploring her mouth. She responded instantly, reaching up to thread her fingers through his hair as she kissed him back.

"How was that?" he asked when they finally broke apart.

"Much better," she murmured. She kissed him again. "I'm here to see you."

"I didn't know you were coming."

"I didn't know I was, either, until I left," she said. "I was scheduled to work today, but one of the other Aurors asked me to switch with him. He needs next Saturday off for something. I remembered that you and Remus had said that he would be away this weekend, so I thought it would be the perfect chance to come and see you."

"I'm so glad you came," Sirius replied. "I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too," she said, kissing him again.

He pulled her even closer, kissing her as though he'd never have another chance. "Do you mind if we wait until later to talk?" he asked.

"I was hoping you'd suggest that."

* * *

Much later, Sirius and Olivia stood in the kitchen together, making dinner. They chatted aimlessly about the small events of their days, avoiding the larger topics of the war, the Order, Remus's missions, and anything that brought darkness to their lives. Their time together was so short and precious; neither could bear to taint it with such sorrowful discussions.

"Oh, I had a rather interesting conversation with Tonks the other day," Sirius said as they finished their main course.

"Oh?" Olivia asked.

Sirius grinned. "I finally got her to admit that she has a crush on Remus."

Olivia rolled her eyes as she stood to get their desserts. "I've said it before, but now I _know_ we're back in fourth year."

"Stop it," Sirius grinned. "I'm not joking! She actually told me that she has feelings for him."

Olivia's eyes widened. "And what did you say?"

"I told her that I had guessed as much. And I promised not to tell Remus."

Olivia nodded. "And?"

"And she asked me to tell her about Remus."

"Did you?" she asked, her eyes widening even more.

"No," Sirius replied. "I told her that he's had a rough time of it. She wasn't really content with that – she asked me about Laura."

"Dana's Laura or Remus's Laura?"

"Remus's."

"Oh, Sirius. What did you tell her?"

"Just that she made him happy. I told her that she has to talk to Remus if she wants the full story. But I also told her that he's very private about that part of his life."

Olivia released the breath she had been holding. "That's the perfect thing to say." She sighed. "Sirius, I'm going to be honest. I think that Tonks is a great girl, and I think she'd be really good for Remus. Honestly, I do. I'm just not sure that Remus is going to go for her. I'm afraid that he'll be too caught up in living the past to accept her love."

"I know," Sirius sighed. "I was a little concerned about that myself. It's like he's afraid to see what's right in front of him."

"He doesn't want to be disloyal to Laura's memory," Olivia said quietly.

"Why can't he see that he didn't die with her?"

She bit her lip for a moment. "Because," she said slowly, "in some ways, I think he _did_. Laura's death shattered him, Sirius. You know that. You were there. He managed to put himself back together, but I think that there've been a few pieces missing ever since then. _She's_ been missing."

"I think that Tonks can fill that void. She can make him whole again."

Olivia nodded. "If he's willing to let her."

"I think that he will be – someday."

"Is she going to wait for him to be ready?"

Sirius looked a bit worried. "I hope so."

"So do I."

Suddenly, Sirius didn't want to talk about Remus anymore. He didn't want to think about the fact that his friend was throwing away his chance at happiness. He looked down at the chocolate mousse in front of him.

"I think this is missing something."

"What?"

"You."

"What are you talking about?

He looked into her eyes with a grin, and slowly reached down to trail his finger through the mousse. Then, just as slowly, he ran his mousse-covered finger over her lips.

"What are you –"

But her question was silenced as he leaned across the table to kiss her, affectively removing all traces of the mousse from her lips. She caught her breath when the kiss was over.

"I can think of a few other uses for that," she whispered.

"Well, let's give them a try."

* * *

Olivia awoke at dawn the next morning. She rolled over in bed to look at Sirius, who was sleeping next to her sprawled out on his back. She smiled, thinking that some things never changed. She remembered the many mornings they had woken up just like this in the past.

She awoke him the way she always had, as though they were still twenty years old and looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together: she leaned over to kiss him. And just as he always had, he smiled against her lips, then wrapped his arms around her, kissing her more thoroughly.

"Why are you waking me up before noon?" he asked as they pulled apart.

"I have to go," she whispered, her voice full of regret.

"So soon?" Sirius asked in disappointment, running his hands over her back. "I'm sure I could convince you to stay."

Feeling completely torn, Olivia rolled away from him and looked at the clock. "Sirius, I have to be at work in two hours."

"I think I can handle those restrictions," he replied mischievously.

Unable to resist him, she lowered her body back onto his. "Oh, why not?"

"God, I love you," Sirius groaned just before kissing her again.

* * *

By the time they had managed to get out of bed, Olivia was seriously concerned that she would be late for work. She raced around the house, showering, dressing, eating breakfast . . .

"If I'm late, it's your fault!" she exclaimed as she gulped down a cup of coffee.

Sirius laughed. "Yes, that's it. Tell the Auror department that you're late for work because you spent the night with Sirius Black. That should go over well."

"Don't make me hate you."

"As if you could."

"Indeed," she sighed. She crossed to hug him. "I'll miss you so much."

"When will I see you again?" Sirius asked, folding her into his arms.

"As soon as I can get away," she promised.

"Don't wait for Remus to be gone," Sirius said. "Just come over anytime."

"I will." She looked thoughtful. "How about Christmas?"

"What about it?"

"Well . . . I usually get some time off for the holidays. Should I come then?"

"Yes!" Sirius exclaimed. "That would be the best Christmas present you could give me!"

She laughed. "Excellent. I'll see you then – if not sooner."

"It had better be sooner."

She laughed again, and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

_I can't believe I'm here again._

Completely concealed under Moody's invisibility cloak, Remus moved silently through the werewolf colony. He was grateful that it was such a large colony for the simple reason that it made it easier to stay invisible. He knew that even cloaks such as Moody's weren't foolproof, but the werewolves never noticed him amid all the general commotion of the village. Remus was making more of an effort to listen in on their conversations this time around, trying to glean more information about the society they had created for themselves.

He began to hear repeated references to "the leader." He frowned slightly. He had not yet learned who led the colony, or how he or she had gained the power. This information would be vital to Dumbledore and the Order. If they hoped to have any influence over the colony, they first had to convince the leader of the authenticity of their cause. Knowing that he would eventually become a spy within this group, Remus was certain that he would have to deal with the leader very closely in the future. Any information he could have about this person would be instrumental to his work. He closed in on the group of werewolves that had been talking about the leader, hoping to hear a name mentioned.

"There are quite a few issues that need to be addressed," one woman said.

Remus raised his eyebrows, feeling a jolt of excitement. If there was dissention among the group, that would make it easier for him to talk them out of their support of Voldemort.

"Have you considered speaking to him about your thoughts?" a second woman asked.

"Of course," the first woman replied. She looked like she was about to continue, but was cut off by a man.

"Are you sure that's wise?" he asked.

"Yes," she hissed, clearly frustrated with his attitude. "There are things that need to be changed, and only _he_ can make that happen. I tried to speak with him last week, but I couldn't find him."

"What day?" the second woman asked.

"Tuesday."

Remus winced. Tuesday had been the day before the full moon.

The man who had spoken before shook his head. "No, you know you can't ever find him that close to the full moon. He is always out searching for prey by then."

"That's true," the first woman said thoughtfully. "Greyback does like to position himself early, doesn't he?"

Remus felt his knees go weak. He forced himself to concentrate, to remain standing. Was it possible? Was the leader of this colony truly _Fenrir Greyback_, the same werewolf he had to thank for his own condition? He swallowed hard.

"Oh, look, you're in luck," a second man said. "Here he comes now!"

They all turned to greet their approaching leader. Remus wanted to do anything but look, but couldn't stop himself from turning his head like the others.

The sight that met his eyes horrified him. He had never really seen Greyback, had never really _wanted_ to see him. He had seen photographs, terrifying snapshots of the man who had tried to destroy Remus's father through him. But now that he was actually seeing him in person, now that he was within feet of the man who had done this to him, who had made him what he was, who had shattered his life before it had really had a chance to begin . . .

Remus felt the bile rising in his throat and retched. He was grateful that the others were making such a commotion over their leader's arrival; their noise covered the gagging sounds ripping from his throat as he dry heaved.

Suddenly, the mission didn't matter. The Order didn't matter. He had to get out.

* * *

Even looking back years later, Remus was never sure how he made it to headquarters. He was never sure how he found his way into the library. He never knew how long he sat in silence, trying to process the information that he didn't want to recall. The only thing he knew for sure was that Sirius walked into the room, checking at the door in surprise as he saw his friend sitting on the leather sofa.

"Remus!" he exclaimed, thrilled that his friend was back, that he would have someone to share the news of his weekend with. "I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow! How did the mission go?"

Remus couldn't form the words to respond. He did the only thing he could do, something he hadn't done in years. He burst into tears.

Sirius froze. Clearly, this wasn't the time to tell Remus about Olivia's visit.

Sobs shook Remus's frame as he buried his face in his hands. Sirius stared at him in shock for a moment, then crossed the room to sit down next to him. He put his arm around Remus's shoulders; Remus shifted to lean against his friend, unable to refuse the physical and emotional support he offered.

When Remus was finally able to stop crying and move away from Sirius, Sirius looked at him critically.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Remus shook his head.

Sirius nodded in understanding. Remus had always been very private; he knew better than to push him to share what was going through his head. "All right, then."

Several minutes passed in silence. Remus seemed to have drifted into the world of his thoughts, and Sirius knew better than to try to draw him out before he was ready. Finally, after nearly fifteen minutes, Remus broke the silence that had fallen.

"No, wait. I do want to talk," he said in a raspy voice.

Sirius nodded again, waiting for him to continue.

"I saw him."

"Who?"

"Greyback."

Sirius frowned. "I still don't understand. Who is Greyback?"

"He is one of the most vicious werewolves alive," Remus said bitterly. "His goal in life is to create more werewolves. He positions himself near humans right before the full moon in the hopes of biting them while he's transformed. He – he bites children as often as he can."

"Children?" Sirius whispered in horror. "Intentionally?"

"Yes. He wants to take them away from their parents, to raise them away from normal people. He wants to take all werewolves away from society, to turn as many as he can into what all the prejudices say we are. It's far easier to raise a child within a lifestyle than to convert an adult to it." He paused, swallowing hard. When he continued, his voice shook slightly. "He's the one who bit me. He's the one who made me what I am. He's the one who destroyed any hope I might have had for a normal life."

Sirius paused, knowing that this was not the time to tell Remus what a good person he was. "He lives in the colony Dumbledore's had you watching?"

Remus gave a hollow, mirthless laugh. "He runs it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he is, quite literally, the leader of the pack." He paused, looking off into space as he continued. "They all refer to him as 'the leader.' He's the one who is in charge. He makes all the decisions for the colony." He laughed mirthlessly again. "He brings in the new members – well, most of them, I'm sure."

Sirius shook his head. "You found all this out from observing the colony?"

"I found out that he controls it through my observations."

"But the other?"

Remus sighed and ran his hands over his face. "Two years after you were sent to Azkaban, I discovered that Greyback was the one who had bitten me. I found out quite accidentally – there was a piece in the _Daily Prophet_ about him because he had attacked some Ministry official's daughter. I remember sitting in my parents' kitchen, telling them that I felt sorry for the girl – she was only twelve – and that maybe I would try to see her, to talk to her about her options and trying to control her transformations." He paused, tears slowly filling his eyes. "I remember my father saying that Greyback was a demon. That he had to be stopped. The anger in his eyes, the horror, the raw emotion . . . I'll never forget it." He paused again, swallowing hard. "I asked my father if he knew the girl or her family. He said no, but that he knew Greyback."

"How did he know him?" Sirius frowned.

"Greyback had long-since distanced himself from normal society. He's been with his colony since he was bitten as a teenager. But he still has connections to our culture, to our people."

"To your father?" Sirius asked gently.

Remus nodded. "Yes. To my father."

Sirius hesitated, unsure of how to proceed in the conversation. Remus stared off into space for a moment, then looked at Sirius again.

"He and my father went to Hogwarts together until he was bitten and had to leave school. They had a relationship similar to yours with Snape. Well, perhaps more intense. They despised one another. When Greyback was bitten, my father – my father said that it served him right. That he deserved what he got."

"Did he really believe that?"

"I don't think so. I think that he just truly hated him to the point where he would do anything to offend him – just has Greyback would do anything to offend my father."

Sirius nodded.

"As Greyback grew older and recognized the full impact of the laws and restrictions against werewolves, he began his own colony. He was vengeful from the first – he would position himself near the loved ones of those he felt had wronged him. He chose as his victims those who would bring grief to the people he thought of as enemies."

"So he intentionally attacked you?"

Tears gathered in Remus's eyes. "Yes," he whispered. "He attacked me to hurt my father. He wanted revenge for my father's remarks when they were children."

"I never knew," Sirius said quietly.

Remus shook his head, trying to swallow his tears. "I didn't, either, until that day. My father told me the whole story for the first time. I've never seen him like that. He actually cried when he told me. At the end, he begged me to forgive him – said that everything that happened to me was his fault."

Sirius sucked in his breath. "Does he really believe that?"

Remus nodded. "I told him that I don't blame him, but I don't think it made a difference. He blames himself for what happened, and I think that, no matter what I say, he always will."

"But he never said anything about it to you before?"

"No. He and my mother had always let me believe that I had been the victim of a tragic accident. I could never think of attacking another person – I've always gone out of my way to make sure that doesn't happen. It never occurred to me that others might have different ideas of how the events of the night of the full moon should unfold."

Sirius shook his head. "This is unreal. I always thought that the stories people told about werewolves were just the product of fear and over-active imaginations. I'm like you – I never thought that anyone would actually _want_ to bite people."

Remus was silent for a moment, then began speaking softly. "For years, I've worked to control myself during transformations. I've struggled to focus my energy so that I can retain control of my thoughts and impulses. I think that Greyback has been doing the same thing, just with a different outcome. I've tried to control myself to save those around me; he tries to keep control of his mind and actions so that he can _hurt_ others."

"Isn't there a way to stop him?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. "Do you really think anyone's going to get close enough to find out? He's beyond dangerous, Sirius. I wouldn't even want to cross him on a night that _isn't_ a full moon."

Concern flickered in Sirius's eyes. "You won't have to, will you? Cross him, I mean."

Remus shrugged. "I have to do what Dumbledore tells me to do."

"No, Remus, don't even think it," Sirius said quickly. "Dumbledore would never ask that of you. He'd never tell you to try to take Greyback on by yourself."

Remus shrugged again. "I'm the logical choice for a mission like that."

"You're not going in there alone," Sirius said forcefully.

Remus smiled sadly. "Someone has to try to get through to them, Sirius. And let's be honest: better me that anyone else."

* * *

"Thank you, Severus, for your report," Dumbledore said. "That was most enlightening."

Sirius looked at Remus with raised eyebrows. "'Most enlightening?'" he repeated in a whisper. "Did we just listen to the same report as Dumbledore did?"

Remus grinned, but put a finger to his lips to silence Sirius. Snape's reports from within Voldemort's inner circle remained hopelessly vague. Remus was sure that the only reason that Snape had not been called out by an Order member was that the Death Eaters had remained quiet. So far, it seemed the Order had not missed anything.

"Mundungus has informed me that he has some information to share," Dumbledore continued, nodding to the man in the corner.

"I just thought you all might like to know that the kids are planning some defense club," he said. "I overheard them talking about it in the Hog's Head last weekend."

"The kids are planning a what?" Tonks asked, certain she must have misheard.

"A defense club," Mundungus repeated with a grin. "From what I can tell, they don't think they're learning anything in defense – sorry, Professor," he added quickly, glancing at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore smiled. "While I am with you, I have no affiliation to Hogwarts. Please, continue without fear that I will punish the students."

"Right," Mundungus agreed. "Anyway, the kids don't like this theoretical approach to the class that Tonks told us about before. They say they need to practice doing the spells. So, they're planning to get together to work on them."

"Sounds like a study group," Molly frowned. "Why should this be news?"

"Well, they're a bit more covert about it than a study group," Mundungus said slowly. "Like I said, they met in the Hog's Head – so they chose a place where they didn't expect to meet up with any of their teachers or other classmates. Then, too, they were pretty shifty about the way they were talking. They said they didn't want anyone outside the group that was there to hear about it – and they were very clear that it wasn't to get back to Umbridge what they were doing."

"Umbridge doesn't allow study groups?" Molly asked, her eyes swinging to Dumbledore.

The headmaster smiled slightly. "Not like this one."

"What does that mean?" Emmeline asked.

"It means that they're planning on doing exactly what Fudge was afraid of – they're planning to learn defensive spells and how to do them," Tonks said with a grin. "They're not just defying Umbridge, they're defying the Ministry."

"Do they realize what they're doing?" Molly asked.

"They seem to," Mundungus replied. "Why else would they be so secretive?"

"How many students are involved?" Kingsley asked.

"I'd say about twenty, give or take," Mundungus replied.

"And who is heading this effort?" Remus asked, thinking that he already knew the answer.

"Harry, Ron and Hermione," Mundungus replied.

"_Ron_?" Molly exclaimed. "What does he think he's doing? What do _any_ of them think they're doing? They're going to get themselves expelled!"

"They won't be expelled, Molly," Dumbledore replied. "Not while I am headmaster."

"Umbridge will find a way to do it if she wants it to happen," Remus said darkly. "That woman is pure evil."

"I don't want Ron involved in this," Molly said, her face flushing with anger at the thought of her son doing something so foolish. She looked at Sirius. "You've talked to them via Floo before, right?"

"I have," Sirius replied, wondering where this was going.

"Well, I want you to do it again," Molly said, her words tumbling out quickly. "Tell Ron that under no circumstances is he to participate in an illegal defense club. And tell Harry and Hermione that I don't think they should either – not that I have any real say, since I'm not their mother."

"Noted," Sirius replied. He looked at Remus, and knew they were both thinking the same thing.

_Way to go, kids_!

* * *

The meeting drew to a close shortly after Mundungus's interesting report. Tonks slipped out as soon as Dumbledore declared the meeting adjourned; she needed to get to work. Remus was surprised at how much he missed the opportunity to chat with her. He had not been able to speak with her before the meeting, either; she had arrived just in time to slide into her chair before Dumbledore began speaking.

"So, how about those kids?" Sirius asked.

Remus grinned. "Good for them. I'm glad someone is trying to do something about Umbridge. And I'm glad they're taking charge of their education. If the Ministry won't let them learn, they're still going to find a way to do it. Fudge should have seen that coming."

Sirius grinned. "He's lucky he can see his desk from his chair."

"I suppose that's about true," Remus laughed.

Sirius grinned again. "James would be proud of Harry, don't you think? This is something we would have done – breaking a few rules in the pursuit of a higher cause."

Remus laughed. "That sounds exactly like something James would say."

"It does, doesn't it?" Sirius laughed. "Seriously, though – I'm really excited that they're defying Umbridge to do what they want."

Remus was about to reply when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. For a moment, he thought it might be Tonks. He remembered as he turned that she had already left the meeting; he found himself staring up into Dumbledore's blue eyes.

"Hello, Professor," he said.

"Remus, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Of course," Remus said, stepping away from Sirius to follow Dumbledore.

"How are you?" Dumbledore asked conversationally as they made their way to a secluded corner of the room.

"Fine," Remus said, feeling a bit mystified, even though he was fairly certain he knew what Dumbledore wanted to ask him.

"Excellent," Dumbledore replied as they stopped together. He looked deeply into Remus's eyes. "Remus, I have not yet received your report from your weekend in the colony. Did you send it?"

"No, sir," Remus said, forcing himself to meet Dumbledore's eyes. The one thing he hated most was disappointing people, and he feared seeing disappointment reflected in the eyes of the man he had more respect for than any other.

"May I ask why?" Dumbledore asked softly. To Remus's great relief, only curiosity and a bit of confusion showed in the headmaster's face.

Encouraged by the lack of accusations or disappointment, Remus drew a deep breath. He knew that this was the moment for confession.

"Remus?" Dumbledore prompted.

"Sir, I uncovered some information that I found to be very disturbing," Remus said slowly. "I have been trying to come to grips with it myself. At this point, writing it down would make it too real," he finished in a whisper.

"And may I ask the nature of this information?"

Again, Remus paused to take a deep breath. "I have discovered that the colony's leader is Fenrir Greyback."

Dumbledore's eyes widened ever so slightly. "Greyback?"

"You know of him?"

"Of course," Dumbledore said, his eyes taking on a faraway look. "Naturally, I have heard the stories about him, read the facts about his lifestyle . . . But, I also remember him as a student in my Transfiguration class many years ago. He and your father . . ." Dumbledore trailed off, his eyes coming to rest fully on Remus again. "It was Greyback who bit you, wasn't it?"

"How did you know?" Remus asked in surprise.

"You mentioned being very upset to learn that he is the leader of the colony, and I remember the animosity between him and your father when they were children." Dumbledore looked at him with concern. "He attacked you when you were a child to hurt your father, didn't he?"

"Yes," Remus whispered.

Dumbledore reached out to grip his shoulder. "Well, then, Remus, you should be proud."

"Proud?" Remus repeated with a frown.

"Yes," Dumbledore replied. "You should be exceedingly proud of yourself. Time and again, you have proven yourself to be an exceptional person, regardless of your condition. But when one considers that Greyback's goal in passing this affliction to you was to hurt your father by making you someone less than the man you are – well, it is easy to see that you thwarted his plan. You have become a man who has made his father proud over and over – exactly the _opposite_ of what Greyback intended for you."

A smile slowly spread across Remus's face as he considered the headmaster's words. "You're right," he said at last.

Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "I'm glad you're able to see it in that perspective." He paused, looking deeply into Remus's eyes again. "Would you be willing to continue working within the colony?"

Remus sighed. "What choice do I have? Who else is there to send?"

"Arrangements can be made, Remus, if it's too difficult for you to be so close to Greyback."

He shook his head. "No. I can't ask someone else to go into that situation. I'll continue, sir. I'll do whatever you ask of me."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, Remus. Once again, you have shown yourself to be a truly remarkable person."

Remus smiled, completely at a loss for words.


	15. Tiptoeing

A/N: For everyone who asked for more Remus/Tonks, here you go!

I'm hoping to have the next chapter up before Christmas. Thanks again for your patience!

**patsfan1254:** Yes, it's in the book: "Greyback specializes in children. . . . Bite them young, he says, and raise them away from their parents, raise them to hate normal wizards. … It was Greyback who bit me." (Remus Lupin, HBP, pages 334 – 335, American edition) By the way, we need to talk about this support of the Pats… Are you talking New England?

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Tiptoeing

Tonks stumbled into the sanctuary of her office with a sigh of relief. Normally, she loved going to Order meetings. She loved being a part of the movement against Voldemort. She loved talking to Remus.

But now, after her conversation with Sirius, she was a bit afraid to talk to Remus. She knew herself well enough to know that she wouldn't be able to be in the same area with him without striking up a conversation or responding to something he said. So, in an effort to remove herself from the temptation of socializing with him, she had arrived at the meeting only moments before it began, and had left as soon as it had ended. Considering the relatively short amount of time she had spent there, she was amazed by how drained she felt.

"It's staying away from him that's got me like this," she whispered to herself. "I just want to talk to him, but, according to Sirius, I shouldn't."

She flushed as she realized that she was talking to herself. Thank goodness this was her "paperwork shift," the one shift that each Auror was required to work alone. As a general rule, she hated this one-a-week ritual. Sociable by nature, she didn't like to be locked in her office alone working on reports and memos. She much preferred the rest of the week, when she and Kingsley were scheduled together, and when they were generally out in the field. But, tonight, she was sure that the paperwork shift was exactly what she needed. It gave her the time to be alone with her thoughts, to sort out exactly what she felt for Remus and how she was going to handle the restrictions Sirius had given her.

She knew that she had feelings for Remus. That much was easy to admit to herself – she had known how she felt since the day she had met him. Admitting it to others, though, was proving to be more of a problem. It had taken everything in her to tell Sirius how she felt, and she knew that he was one of the few people who never judged her. Even telling Kingsley seemed impossible, and he was, as he had said himself, one of her best friends.

She felt a renewed thankfulness that she was working alone. Kingsley knew that she was keeping something from him, and he never allowed her to keep secrets long. Had he been in the office with her, he would have been pestering her like a little boy, trying desperately to make her give up her secret. She shook her head. She couldn't tell him. As much as she loved him and thought of him as a brother, she just couldn't bring herself to tell him what was troubling her.

"I just have to keep this to myself," she said, shifting some papers so that she would have free space to work on her reports. "That won't be too hard, considering how little time Remus and I will be spending together. No one will ask me what's going on between us if they never see us talking to one another."

Feeling slightly better about the impending "separation" from Remus, she turned back to her work. Now that she had worked through part of her issues, she felt more like talking to Kingsley. She always had fun with him, and was sure that he would brighten up her workday with humorous stories, teasing that bordered on harsh, and entertaining conversation. Suddenly, she remembered anew how much she hated working alone. Maybe she wasn't glad she was working the paperwork shift after all.

* * *

Her certainty about being able to deal with the situation faded as her shift drew to a close. By the time she got home, Tonks was sure she'd never be able to live with the restrictions that Sirius had placed on her. She wanted desperately to talk to Remus, to see him smile, to hear him laugh, to feel his light touch on her arm. Even though they were certainly no more than friends, she wanted to spend time with her friend again.

What shocked her even more than her desire to spend time with Remus was her need to talk to someone. She wanted to discuss her situation, to tell someone else how hearing Remus laugh made her want to laugh with him, how seeing his smile made her day a bit brighter. She wanted to talk about her infatuation with this man who was fourteen years her senior, to admit that she found him attractive, and to try to find a way to make him want her as much as she wanted him.

But whom could she possibly talk to? Sirius, wonderful though he was, seemed to want to distance himself from his friend's romantic entanglements. He was out of the question, which meant that she had to find someone else to confide in. She sighed, wondering how she would ever choose another confidante. And exactly how long would it be before the pressure of keeping this secret made her explode?

Knowing that she'd only make herself crazy sitting up thinking about it, she went to bed as soon as she got home. She wanted to be at work early the next morning. Somehow, even with eight hours alone, she hadn't managed to get her work done.

* * *

"Hey, Tonks."

Tonks looked up from her desk as Kingsley walked into their office. "Morning, King."

"You're here early," he commented, glancing at his watch. "I thought you didn't believe in coming to work until five minutes _after_ you were supposed to be here."

"Usually I don't, but I wanted to finish this report before things had time to get crazy today."

"We're Aurors. Things are always crazy."

She smiled. "I suppose that's true."

Kingsley looked at her for a moment, then closed their office door. He crossed the room, and sat down on his desk, facing her. "Okay. Out with it. What's wrong?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Tonks. You've been working like the devil is chasing you for two weeks. I know you love this job and I know you're one of the most talented Aurors we have, but I also know that you never need this much time to get your work done. Something's bothering you, and you're using work as a way to escape it."

She looked at him for a moment without speaking. "You're worse than my mother," she said at last.

He grinned. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"I'm not sure you should."

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"Are you going to get your own life so you can stay out of mine?"

"Now, now. Verbally attacking me isn't going to do you any good."

She smiled. "Probably not, but it's making me feel better."

Kingsley smiled, then ran his hands over his face. "Tonks, please, talk to me."

"Fine," she sighed. She knew that she had to tell him everything. She wanted to confide in someone, and he was the logical choice. He was going to find out eventually anyway. He always knew too much about her for his own good.

"Well?" Kingsley asked, looking at her expectantly. "Confession is good for the soul, you know."

She drew a deep breath. "You were right, okay? You were right."

"About what?" he asked with a frown.

"I – I sort of have a thing for Remus."

A grin spread across his face. "I knew it. I could tell just by watching you." His smile faded as quickly as it had come. "Did you two have a fight?"

"No," she said, clearly bewildered. "Why would we?"

"I don't know . . . I mean, you've been upset, and I just thought . . . How long have you two been together?"

"Whoa, now," she said quickly, holding up her hands. "We're not together."

Kingsley frowned. "You're not? Then why . . .?"

"Why what?" Tonks frowned. "You're confusing me."

"Wait," Kingsley said, clearly trying to sort through everything in his head. "You've talked to him about this, haven't you? You've told him how you feel, right?"

"No!" she exclaimed, looking scandalized. "I haven't said a word to him, and I'll thank you to do the same!"

"But, Tonks, you have to tell him!" Kingsley exclaimed. "You two would be great together! You need to tell him how you feel!"

She shook her head. "I've already talked to Sirius about this, and he said that I should go slowly. He said to back off and not push Remus. He said something about Remus's scars from his past being an issue."

"So you're just going to ignore your feelings because of something that Sirius said?"

"I don't think I have much of a choice. Sirius knows Remus better than anyone; of course, I'm going to take his advice." She paused and bit her lower lip. "I really like this guy, King. I can't do anything to screw this up."

He gave her a devious grin. "That much is true. What would your mother say if she knew that you were this close to a meaningful relationship, but blew your chance because you took my advice?"

"Leave my mother out of this," she said, rolling her eyes. She threw her quill at him. "Can't you be serious for ten minutes?"

He sobered, putting the quill back down on her desk. "I think you're doing exactly what you should doing," he said quietly. "You're right – Sirius _does_ know Remus better than anyone. Listen to him, and do what he tells you to do. He adores you, and Remus is like a brother to him. He's not going to tell you to do anything that could potentially blow up in your face."

Tonks looked up at him, her face reflecting the complete trust that she had for him, and a bit of fear. She knew that Kingsley would always be brutally honest with her, no matter how much the answer would hurt. "Do you think I have a chance, then?" she asked in a small voice.

Kingsley jumped down from his place on his desk, and knelt down in front of her. He took her hands in his, and looked up into her eyes. "If he refuses you, he's an utter fool," he said quietly. "And from what I know of Remus Lupin, he's certainly not a fool. Yes, Tonks, I think you have an excellent chance. Just play the game according to Sirius's suggestions." He smiled, and squeezed her hands. "And remember, if he breaks your heart, I'll break his face."

* * *

Tonks had to admit that she was apprehensive about the next Order meeting. She didn't have to work immediately after the meeting, so there was no reason for her to skip out of the socializing. She always chatted with Remus after the meetings; how would she manage to avoid it this time? Sirius had been quite clear about the need to go slowly, and Kingsley had agreed whole-heartedly with that approach. She needed to keep her distance. How could she do that if she spent an hour talking to him?

With her thoughts focused on Remus and their post-meeting conversations, Tonks was completely distracted during the meeting. She missed a considerable amount of what was said. It was a mark of how distracted she was that she wasn't really concerned by what she had missed. She was sure that Kingsley would fill her in if it were something that she really needed to know. The only thing that she actually registered from the meeting was that Hagrid had finally made it home to Hogwarts. Relief washed over her as she heard those words. She had been more worried about Hagrid than she wanted to admit.

Once the conversation turned from Hagrid to other Order business, Tonks let her thoughts drift again. She stared down at the table or at Moody, who was chairing this evening's meeting. She was terrified to look anywhere else, not wanting to accidentally meet Remus's eyes. As he was sitting across from her, this was more challenging than she would have thought. She could feel his eyes on her more than once during the meeting; it took everything in her not to look up and smile at him.

_Sirius said to back off. You have to distance yourself._

She missed Moody's adjournment announcement; Kingsley nudged her to make her stand up. She gave him a half-hearted smile as thanks.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a low voice.

"Fine," she said with a falsely bright smile. "I'm just doing my best to back off."

"Tonks," Kingsley sighed, "I don't think Sirius meant you have to completely _avoid_ him."

"I told you, King, I don't want to screw this up," she said, nervousness creeping into her voice.

"Yeah, but –"

"Tonks, Kingsley, hello."

They both turned quickly as Remus himself greeted them with a smile. Tonks's eyes grew wide, and she just barely refrained from squeaking.

"Hi, Remus," she said.

"Hello," Kingsley grinned. "How have you been, Remus? It seems like ages since we had time for a proper chat."

"That's true," Remus replied. "You two are always far too busy with work."

"Ah, the life of an Auror," Kingsley said with an exaggerated sigh. "They make you believe it's going to get easier when you're done with training, but it's all an elaborate lie."

Remus laughed. "That's what Sirius and Olivia said, too, back when they finished their training. I think that Olivia's finally getting to the point where she feels like her life is her own again, rather than property of the Auror department."

Kingsley laughed with him. "Well, Olivia's pretty high ranking. If she still felt like they owned her, I'd probably lose all hope. I'd have to start looking for another job."

"Somehow, I have a feeling you don't mean that."

Kingsley grinned. "Fair enough. This job isn't something you go into unless you really love it." He paused and smiled again. "Not unlike teaching, I suppose."

Remus smiled and nodded. "True." His eyes drifted from Kingsley to Tonks. Her eyes were darting around the room and she was chewing her lower lip as though she were nervous. He frowned slightly.

"Tonks? Are you all right?"

She jumped slightly, and finally let her eyes come to rest on him. "Yes, I'm fine," she said in a rush.

_Fine? No, I'm not fine! My knees are going weak just from looking into your eyes, and I want to throw my arms around you and kiss you right here in front of all these Order members! Backing off has made me want you _more!_ Damn Sirius and his advice!_

"Are you sure? You look a little out of sorts," Remus said, concern flickering in his eyes.

"I'm just a little tired," she said. She glanced at her watch. "I should probably go home and get some rest."

Remus's frown deepened. He had never known Tonks to complain of fatigue. "Maybe you should see a Healer. You might be coming down with something."

"I'm sure I'm fine," she said. "I'll see you at the next meeting. King, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

Remus and Kingsley both said their goodbyes, and Tonks made her way out of the room. Alone in the hallway, she began to take deep, calming breaths.

"You have to control yourself," she whispered. "You're an Auror, Tonks. You don't show emotion. That's how it works. Just be an Auror around him."

Nodding to herself, she left the house.

* * *

"Have you spoken to Tonks recently?" Remus asked as he and Sirius cleaned up after the meeting.

"How recently?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know. I'm not sure when it started, really. She's just been acting a little funny, and I wasn't sure if she had told you what's wrong."

"What do you mean by 'funny?'" Sirius frowned.

"Just – withdrawn, I guess. She isn't herself at all. She barely spoke to me today. I would say she's avoiding me, but I can't think of any reason why she'd do that."

Sirius groaned inwardly. Apparently, Tonks had gone a bit overboard with his "go slowly" advice. "I'm sure she's fine," he said at last. "You know how things are for her right now. She has to put up a constant front at work so that no one will guess that she's working with us. That's got to take a toll after awhile."

"That's a good point," Remus said. "I hadn't thought about it."

Sirius nodded. "Just – just be a friend to her, Remus. No matter how withdrawn she is, don't let her pull away completely. Let her know that you're there for her, and that you care for her."

Remus looked at him warily. "That I care for her?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "As a friend. I know how you feel about that. You've made your position abundantly clear. I promise, I won't say another word about how great you and Tonks would be together."

Remus knew that he _should_ feel relieved that Sirius was willing to get off his back about Tonks. He _wanted_ to feel relieved. But, for some unknown reason, he was a bit disappointed.

* * *

_Tonks_ – 

_We need to talk. NOW. Come over as soon as you can. _

_- Sirius_

Tonks read the message with wide eyes. She didn't need to be told twice. She climbed out of the nest of blankets she had made for herself in her bed, threw her clothes back on and Disapparated.

Sirius was sitting in the drawing room of headquarters when she arrived. He smiled at her.

"Hello."

"What's wrong?" she replied.

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Perhaps your rather dire message?" she shot back.

Sirius grinned. "Look, I wanted to talk to you, and I figured now was the best time, since Remus has guard duty at the Ministry. I didn't want to chance him walking in on us."

"Oh," she said, taking a seat. "What's up, then?"

Sirius drew a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he needed to say. "I think you've taken me a little too literally."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Tonks, I told you to go slowly with Remus, not to act like you've never met him."

"I backed off!" she exclaimed. "I did what you told me to do!"

He shook his head. "You went a little further than I had intended."

She groaned, and buried her face in her hands. "What did he say?"

"He thinks that something's wrong with you. He even went so far as to suggest that you're avoiding him."

"Oh, no. What did you say?"

"I told him to be a friend to you. I made up some story about how stressful it is for you to live a double life as a Ministry Auror and an Order Member."

"Did he buy that?"

"Of course," Sirius grinned. "Why wouldn't he?"

"So he's angry with me?" she asked forlornly.

"No, not angry. Just a bit confused, I'd say."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" she exclaimed. "I tried to follow your directions, but it didn't seem to work so well!"

"Look, I didn't mean for you to completely back off. I just meant that you shouldn't push him to go forward with a relationship yet. You just – you need to be his friend, Dora.  
Be like you were that weekend when the two of you arranged for Olivia to visit me. I know he had a great time with you."

"What, drag him out to Muggle stores?"

"No, not necessarily. Just be that same girl – basically, sweetheart, be yourself."

"Are you sure it's good enough?" she asked in a small voice.

Sirius smiled at her, wondering how such a pretty, lively, sweet girl could be so insecure. "I'm more concerned it'll be _too_ good."

"Too good?" she repeated with a frown. "How could anyone ever be too good for him? He deserves the very best girl alive."

Sirius smiled again, leaning forward to cover her hands with his. "He deserves _you_."

* * *

With affirmation that Remus would indeed be interested in her from both Sirius and Kingsley, Tonks felt a bit of her old confidence coming back. She knew that she was ready to talk to him again, to be, as Sirius had said, his friend. She still wasn't entirely sure that she had a good chance of winning him, but she wasn't about to give up without a fight.

The next day, she went straight to headquarters after work. As she had hoped, Remus was there, sitting alone in the library with reams of parchment spread around him.

"Are you busy?" she asked, pausing in the doorway.

"Tonks!" Remus said, giving her a warm smile. "Come in, please."

"You're sure I'm not interrupting anything?" she asked as she walked into the room.

"Nothing that will explode in my face in the next few hours. Honestly, I could use a break."

"What are you working on?"

"I've been going over my notes from my last few visits to the werewolf colony. I'm trying to decide what areas I need to concentrate on next."

"Dumbledore's making you go back there?" she asked, taking a seat on the couch, facing where he sat at the desk.

Remus was a bit surprised by her comment. She didn't know about Greyback; only Sirius and Dumbledore knew about that, and Remus was certain that neither of them would ever tell anyone his story. He knew that she really was just concerned about him entering into the colony itself.

"It's my job, Tonks," he said quietly, but with a firmness that surprised her. "There's no one else in the Order who would be better suited to do this."

"But don't you have enough information already? You've been there several times, haven't you?"

He smiled sadly. "That would be like saying that the Aurors have enough information on the Death Eaters. There's just always more to know, always more to uncover."

"But, isn't it dangerous for you to keep going back?"

"Not particularly," Remus shrugged. "What could they do to me that hasn't already been done? I can't become a werewolf again."

She shuddered slightly. "Don't, Remus. I don't like to think of them hurting you."

He was surprised at the emotion in her voice. "I'm always careful."

She nodded.

"Hey, Tonks," he said, leaning forward, "don't worry about me. I've done this before, remember? This is my second time to battle Voldemort and the Death Eaters."

"I just don't like to think of what could happen to you."

Remus was completely shocked by this little girl vulnerability. This side of Tonks was so different from the laughing, teasing side that he had known since they had met. Unable to think of anything else to do, he crossed to sit next to her on the couch.

"I'll be fine," he said, covering her hands with his. "Nothing is going to happen to me."

She nodded again.

"You're an Auror," he said, smiling in a bewildered sort of way. "You face evil every single day."

"But I always have backup," she replied. "King and I always go on our missions together. It's not the same for you. You're completely on your own."

"And completely able to summon the Order to my side in a moment's notice," he replied. "Listen, Tonks, I can't promise that everything will be fine. I can't promise that I'll never get hurt. But I'll do everything in my power to stay safe. I always err on the side of caution."

"I know that," she sighed. "It just makes me nervous sometimes, thinking about what we're doing. We're really putting our lives on the line everyday, Remus. I mean, I signed up for this when I became an Auror. But you – you just want to be a teacher."

He smiled sadly. "I signed up for this the day I became an Order member." His eyes took on a far-away look. "Do you know how old I was when I joined the Order?"

She shook her head.

"Eighteen."

"You were eighteen?" she exclaimed. "Why were you allowed to join when you were so young?"

"I wanted to," he said simply. "It wasn't like now. Voldemort had been gaining power the entire time I was at Hogwarts. I had watched so many people suffer, so many people lose loved ones . . . and, then, in my seventh year, one of my best friends was killed by Death Eaters."

Tonks gasped. "Why?"

"She was a half-blood," Remus sighed. "They killed her entire family."

"That's horrible."

Remus nodded sadly. "After Kathleen died, we became obsessed with fighting Voldemort."

"We?" Tonks repeated. "You and Sirius?"

"And James, Lily, Olivia, Dana . . ." He paused and swallowed. ". . . Laura . . . and Peter."

"Peter," Tonks repeated quietly. It was fairly obvious who James, Lily, Olivia and Dana were. She was sure that she had heard Laura's name before, but she couldn't place it; she repeated the one name that almost scared her.

"The more I think about it, I'm sure that was the beginning of the end for Peter," Remus said softly. "He was dating Kathleen when she died. He really loved her – I'm sure he would have married her, had she lived. I think that she could have kept him from joining forces with Voldemort. And then . . . Well, everything would have turned out differently."

"You can't change the past, Remus," Tonks said softly.

"I know that," Remus sighed. "But I can do everything I can to make sure that history doesn't repeat itself. And to that end, I'm doing everything I can for the Order."

"You have so much more invested than I do."

He shook his head. "The fact that you're here, that you've joined, that you're putting your career and your life on the line – that speaks volumes, Tonks. You're exactly the type of person we need in the Order."

She smiled. "Coming from you, that means a lot."

"Well, it's true."

She looked deeply into his eyes. "Why are you so sweet to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked. He smiled. "You're a sweet girl. Of course, I'm going to be sweet to you."

"You think I'm sweet?"

"You don't?" he asked, trying not to chuckle at the rather obvious plea for a compliment.

She grinned. "Of all the adjectives used to describe me, 'sweet' is not usually one of them."

"What do you usually hear?" he grinned.

"Colorful," she laughed. "Energetic. Fun-loving. On the rare occasion, bubbly. But sweet is almost unheard of."

Remus smiled. "Well, _I_ think that you're sweet. But I agree with all the others, too."

"What else?" she asked, rather enjoying this game.

"I think you're very intelligent. You're caring and you're compassionate. You want to do what's right. You have a soft spot for teenagers – specifically the Weasleys, Harry and Hermione. And you're tough," he finished with a grin.

"Tough?" Tonks laughed. "You really know how to flatter a girl, Lupin."

He laughed. "All Aurors are tough. It's in the job description."

"All right, I'll buy that," she said. "And how do people describe you?"

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment. "Serious. Quiet. Reserved. Studious."

"Do you realize how boring you're making yourself sound?" she laughed.

He laughed with her. "Well, if you don't like it, come up with something else."

She tilted her head to one side, regarding him for a moment. "Funny," she said at last. "Caring. Loyal."

"Ah, yes, loyal," he smiled. "I'll always be a Gryffindor at heart."

"You don't like to see yourself as others see you, do you?"

A pained expression crossed his face. "Why would I? Others see a monster."

She reached out tentative fingers to touch his cheek. "Not me, Remus. I don't see a monster."

Almost, but not quite, against his will, he leaned into her hand. "What do you see?" he whispered.

She swallowed hard, gently caressing his face. "I see a kind, gentle, beautiful soul that lives behind a very guarded exterior. I'm having so much fun getting to know that man, and I learn something new about him every day."

Remus raised his hand to cover hers, then reached out to touch her face as she touched his. They looked into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Then, as if being moved by a force quite outside themselves, they began to slowly lean toward one another.

"Tonks," Remus whispered.

"Yes?"

Closing his eyes, he gently touched his lips to hers. Tonks was stunned by the kiss; but before she even had time to respond, he pulled away.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, jumping up off the couch. "I'm sorry –"

"Remus, don't ­–"

"I'm sorry," he said again, stumbling from the room.

Tonks stared at the door in wonder for nearly ten minutes before she felt collected enough to leave. She stood slowly, knowing very well that this was not the time to go home to sit alone. Nodding as she realized her destination, she Disapparated.

* * *

Remus stumbled all the way up to his bedroom, where he closed and locked the door behind him. He paced around the small area, his agitation obvious in his every movement.

"What was I doing?" he asked himself. "How could I – Tonks is Sirius's little cousin! She could never – I could never . . ."

He paced for several more moments before stopping.

"No," he said firmly, decisively. "She deserves so much better than me. It can't happen. I won't let it."

* * *

"Well, this is a surprise."

Tonks grinned at Kingsley as she appeared in the middle of his living room. "Hi, Kingsley."

"What brings you to my humble abode?" he asked.

"I needed to talk to someone, and since you know all my secrets, I figured you were a good choice."

"I'm all ears," he replied. "Have a seat."

Tonks curled up on the couch and gave him a goofy smile. "I've just come from Remus's."

"Oh?" Kingsley asked with a grin, raising his eyebrows. "And? What news do you have to report?"

"He kissed me."

Kingsley sat bolt upright in his chair. "He _what_?"

"He kissed me," she repeated.

"What kind of kiss was it?"

"On the lips."

"Continue . . ." Kingsley prompted.

"It was really quick, King," she sighed. "I didn't even have time to react."

"Oh," Kingsley said, sounding rather disappointed. "And then?"

"He apologized and ran out of the room," she finished miserably. "You're a guy. Explain this one to me."

"He thinks he took advantage of you, I'd say," Kingsley said slowly. "You two aren't together, and he knows it. He doesn't want you to think he's going to treat you as his shag buddy."

"I can't imagine Remus with a shag buddy," Tonks grinned.

"No, neither can I . . . Tonks, Remus is a very honorable man. I can't see him doing _anything_ with you until you're in a committed relationship. And that includes gratuitous snogging."

"You really do know how to suck the fun out of life, you know that, don't you?"

"You asked me for an explanation. If you don't like it, that's your own fault."

She smiled, and drew her knees up to her chin. "What should I do, O Wise One?"

"As much as I hate using old material, go slow. Don't push him into anything. But don't completely fade away, either. He has to know that you're there, and that you don't think that you're too good for him. I'm sure that right now he's grappling with your age difference, on top of whatever other issues Sirius seems to think he has."

Tonks nodded. "I guess you're right. He probably comes with a lot more baggage than I do."

A worried expression crossed Kingsley's face. "Tonks, are you sure about this? I mean, really, really sure? Because Sirius is right – Remus has been through far more than you have. He's bound to have more issues that you may want to consider."

She smiled. "Don't you get it? Those issues make him the man he is – and that's the man that I want."

Kingsley nodded slowly. "If you're sure . . .?"

"I'm sure. I'll be patient. I'll do whatever he needs. This is going to work out in the end, King. I can feel it."


	16. Disrupted Plans

A/N: Happy New Year! I know this is later than I had promised, but, for some reason, this chapter was a challenge. I hope it's worth the wait.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Disrupted Plans

Olivia walked slowly between the racks of robes, looking at them without actually seeing them. Lost in her thoughts, she was impervious to the other shoppers who brushed by her, occasionally knocking into her. Her eyes did manage to take in the Christmas decorations that covered almost every available space in the store. She sighed, smiling slightly to herself. Christmas was less than a week away. As always, she had requested several days off for the holiday. While she normally used the time to visit her family, this year she would be using it to visit Sirius. She could hardly wait to see him again.

"What do you think of this?"

Dana's voice shook Olivia from her dream world. She looked up to see her friend displaying a gorgeous set of pale pink dress robes. "Don't you hate pink?"

"They're for Laura," Dana replied, rolling her eyes. "I want to get them for her for Christmas."

Olivia closed her eyes briefly. "Tell me that our little girl is not old enough for dress robes."

"I know," Dana sighed. "It's killing me, too. But I got my first set when I was in fourth year, so it seems appropriate."

Olivia nodded absently.

Dana looked at her closely for a minute. "You could just go to England, you know. A visit would probably do you both a world of good."

Olivia looked at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"We've been shopping for almost an hour, and I've held your attention for about ten minutes. You don't want to be here, you want to be in London. Why don't you just go? I'm sure he misses you, too."

"Dana, I can't just _go_ . . ."

"Why not? What's stopping you? You've dropped in for visits before."

"Yes, but only when I knew that we'd be alone . . ."

Dana smiled. "You know, spending time actually _talking_ probably wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for the two of you."

"We talk!" Olivia exclaimed, looking a bit insulted.

"Calm down, I was joking," Dana laughed. "Have you talked to Remus recently enough to know for sure that he'll be there?"

Olivia thought for a moment. "I think he will be."

"Well, then, you'll get to see him, too. It's been forever since either of us saw Remus; one of us needs to catch up on what's going on in his life," Dana rationalized. "Seriously, Liv, just go. I can pick things out for Laura on my own, and we can go shopping together on our next day off in common."

Olivia looked uncertain. "Are you sure? We've been planning this shopping trip for ages."

"And you've waited for ages to be able to see him any time you want," Dana said quietly. "Tell them both that I said hello."

Olivia smiled, feeling a rush of adrenaline at the thought that she could, indeed, see Sirius any time she wanted. She nodded.

"You're going?" Dana asked, grinning with the reflected excitement of her friend's impending adventure.

"I'm going," Olivia affirmed. "I'll be back in time to see Laura when she gets home from school tonight."

Blowing Dana a kiss, she walked out of the store to Disapparate.

* * *

Remus threw yet another book away from him. It slid across his bedroom floor, stopping when it hit a wall. He sighed in frustration as he looked first at the mountain of books on the floor, then at his empty bookshelves.

He wanted so desperately to distract himself, to think of something other than the previous day. He had tried writing letters, going over notes from Order meetings, planning his next mission, and reading every book he had. Nothing had worked. He couldn't stop thinking about Tonks.

He still couldn't believe that it had actually happened. It had been like something out of a dream. One minute, they had been sitting together, talking quietly, and the next minute he had been kissing her. Not that he had kissed her for very long, of course. He had been shocked by what he had done. He had taken advantage of her. Acted on feelings that he hadn't even known he had had. Responded to emotions that he only believed that she might feel because of comments that Sirius had made.

In short, he had been completely irresponsible.

It wasn't just the fact that he had taken advantage of Tonks and the situation that bothered him. There were also his own feelings to consider. He wasn't entirely sure of what he wanted from a relationship with her. He loved being her friend; he found it almost impossible to imagine his life without her friendship. But after what had happened, after what he had done, would she be content with that? Would she want more? And if she did, was he willing to give it?

Almost as if in answer to his confused thoughts, his eyes fell on a picture of him with his arms around his wife. He picked up the framed photograph, and sat down flat on his bed.

"I still love you," he whispered, watching as his photographic self kissed Laura's cheek. "You were the love of my life. How can I even consider a relationship with another woman when I loved you so much – more than I ever dreamed that I could love anyone?"

These feelings for Tonks were not supposed to happen. Laura, the woman he had married, had won his heart. It was hers to keep. He had vowed to love her and no other. Even though she had died, he still intended to keep that vow. He had spent so many years married to her memory that he didn't know how to deal with these new feelings for Tonks. The emotions that were now coursing through him were not part of his plans. He couldn't allow them.

He put the picture of him and Laura back on his nightstand, firmly resolved not to think of Tonks anymore – at least not as anything other than a friend. He couldn't be disloyal to Laura's memory.

Even with his decision made, the thoughts of Tonks, and the way her lips had felt against his, were impossible to banish. He jumped up off the bed, and began pacing around his room.

"What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop thinking about her?"

He continued pacing, then came to a slow stop.

"I just need to talk about it," he said to himself. "Once I've talked it all out, gotten rid of all these feelings, I'll be back to normal."

He waved his wand to put the books back into their rightful positions on the shelves. Then he marched out of his room to find Sirius.

* * *

"I can't believe you're here," Sirius said, cuddling Olivia close on the couch in the living room.

"I can't, either," she grinned. "Dana basically told me I was being no help to her if I was constantly thinking of you – and then told me to get to London."

"Remind me to get her an extra Christmas present," Sirius grinned, kissing Olivia's neck.

"Sirius," she murmured.

"Hm?" he replied.

"We shouldn't – Remus could walk in at any minute –"

"You're right," Sirius sighed, pulling back from her. "We don't exactly have the house to ourselves this time, do we?"

"I thought of that," Olivia replied. "I considered waiting for a time when we could be alone, but Dana said that I should just go."

"I'm glad you listened to her," Sirius said. "Don't ever wait, love. Just sitting here with you is more amazing than I could have ever hoped."

She smiled, and kissed his cheek. "I agree."

A soft knock on the doorframe made them both look up. Remus was standing there hesitantly, grinning at the sight of Olivia.

"Should I wait for a better time?" he asked.

"Remus!" Olivia exclaimed. She jumped off the couch to hug him.

"When did you get here?" he asked with a grin.

"Just a few minutes ago," she replied. "I'm so excited to see you!"

"No, you aren't," he laughed. "You wish that I was gone so that you could shag Sirius for two days straight. Don't lie to me."

She looked at him in shock for a moment, then began to laugh. "I can't believe you said that! You never say things like that!"

Remus laughed and shrugged. "I've been living with Sirius for too long."

"It's taken me over twenty years to get him to this point, Liv. Don't ruin it now by acting shocked when he says stuff like that," Sirius grinned. He looked closely at Remus for a moment. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Remus sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes," Sirius said simply. "Come in and sit down. Tell us your problems."

Olivia looked between them for a minute, her eyes finally coming to rest on Remus. "Do you want me to leave so you and Sirius can talk?"

"No," Remus said at once. "You know I'll tell you anything. Besides, I'd really like to hear your opinion."

"All right, then."

Olivia reclaimed her spot on the couch, and Remus sank down into a cushy chair. He made a face at them.

"I'm not sure exactly how you're going to take this."

"Well, neither are we," Sirius said fairly. "Just tell us, then we'll let you know how we feel about it."

Remus nodded, and drew a deep breath. "I kissed Tonks yesterday," he said in a rush.

Sirius and Olivia stared at him for a moment. Then, Sirius broke his silence by laughing loudly.

"Well, it's about time!" he exclaimed. "Good for you, Moony! I told you she fancied you!"

"Sirius, calm down," Olivia said. She touched Sirius's arm to quiet him, but her eyes never left Remus's face. "You don't seem happy about this, Remus."

"Well . . ." he said slowly, "I'm confused."

"You're upset because you kissed her but you're not dating her, aren't you?" Sirius asked sagely. He had been friends with Remus long enough to know that that issue would be at the front of his mind.

"Well, yes," Remus admitted. "I feel like I took advantage of her."

Olivia leaned forward. "How did she react?"

"React?"

"Yes. What did she do when you kissed her? Did she pull away? Slap you? Kiss you back? What happened?"

"It was really quick, Liv. I don't think I gave her time to react."

"What did you do after the kiss?"

"I apologized."

"And how did she take that?"

Shame colored his face. "I don't really know. I left the room."

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment. "So, let me get this straight. You kiss the girl, make it so short that she doesn't have time to kiss you back, pull away, apologize, then run out of the room?"

"Yeah, that about sums it up."

Sirius shook his head, but Olivia looked thoughtful.

"You're thinking too much," she said at last.

"What?" Remus asked.

"I know you, Remus. You've been over every second of that encounter to the point that if it were a piece of parchment, it would fall apart. You've analyzed every last thing that happened down to nothing."

Remus smiled. "Guilty as charged."

She nodded. "You need to stop."

"To stop?"

"To stop. The analysis isn't doing you any good right now, and it's just going to make everything all the more awkward the next time you see Tonks."

He nodded. "I suppose you're right."

"Now for the hard question. How do you feel about her?"

Remus let his breath out slowly. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Sirius asked.

"I love having her as a friend," he said. "But as for something more . . ."

"Yes?" Olivia asked.

Remus sighed. "I was married once, guys. Laura was the love of my life. Caring about Tonks doesn't change that."

"It doesn't have to," Sirius said. "You're allowed to love more than one person, Remus."

He shook his head slightly. "I'm not sure that I want to."

Sirius opened his mouth to comment, but Olivia put her hand on his arm again.

"Remus, you need to think about this before you do anything else."

"You told me not to over-analyze," he said with a smile.

"Not to over-analyze that particular moment in your life, yes," she replied. "But, you do need to think about a potential relationship before you go any further with Tonks. You have to know that it's what you want before you say anything to her."

"But what if I decide that it _is_ what I want, only to find out that it's not what she wants?"

Olivia smiled. "Remus, every woman wants you."

"Oh, stop it," he sighed. "You know very well that flattery doesn't work on me. You can't use it to boost my ego."

"All right," she said. "But, you do need a bit of confidence. I'm sure that she cares about you. The fact that she let you get close enough to kiss her at all says that much."

"Liv is right, Moony," Sirius nodded. "Take some time to figure out what you want. If it was meant to be, Tonks will be waiting for you. If not, then . . . Well, with the amount of time you tend to spend considering your options, she'll probably be married to someone else. That would completely remove the decision from your hands."

Remus shook his head. "Sirius, please don't ever become a motivational speaker."

"There is a valid point in there," Olivia said. "Take your time, Remus. If it was meant to happen, if she really cares about you, she'll be willing to wait – just not forever."

"Point taken," Remus replied. He pulled himself to his feet. "Thanks, guys. You've really helped me."

"You don't want to stay to chat?" Sirius asked.

Remus smiled and shook his head. "You guys need some time alone together. I'll put a silencing charm on the door on my way out."

Sirius and Olivia watched as he left the room, closing the door behind him. They heard his spell, followed by complete, utter silence.

"Well," Sirius smiled, pulling her close again, "it looks like he repaid our advice with a little problem-solving of his own."

Olivia giggled, and reached up to kiss him.

* * *

Olivia only stayed with Sirius for a few hours. They were both sad when she took her leave, but she had promised to be home to see Laura that evening.

"I'll be back in a few days," she said as she hugged him goodbye. "I have to work tomorrow, so I should get my Christmas schedule then."

"How many days will you be able to stay over Christmas?"

"Probably four."

Sirius kissed her forehead. "That sounds like heaven. Remus will be gone, you know."

"Is he going to stay with his parents?"

"Yes. I think he's spending some time with Laura's family, too."

Olivia nodded. "He does that every year. He has an incredible relationship with them."

Sirius sighed. "I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing."

"You're worried about him and Tonks."

He laughed slightly. "There is no 'Remus and Tonks' – not yet, anyway."

"Don't push him, Sirius," she warned. "You know how he is."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said. He leaned down to kiss her lips. "You'll let me know when you're coming for Christmas?"

"I'll Floo tomorrow to tell you."

"Good." He kissed her one last time. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once she was gone, Sirius made his way to Remus's room. He found his friend throwing clothes into an open suitcase.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked.

"I'm off tomorrow morning," Remus replied. He looked at Sirius closely. "Do you mind? You won't be alone too long, will you?"

"Liv is coming soon enough," Sirius replied. "I'll be fine." He sat down on Remus's bed to watch him pack. "How long are you staying with the Bonds?"

"Just Christmas Eve day," Remus replied. "I'll be back with my parents that night."

"It's nice that you have such a good relationship with them."

"They've really treated me like one of their own ever since the wedding. Even after Laura died, they never stopped acting like I was part of their family." He sighed. "How do you think they'd feel if they knew that I had kissed Tonks?"

"I don't think it's any of their business who you kiss," Sirius replied evenly. "Besides, how would they find out? Are you planning to tell them?"

"No, of course not," Remus said. "But it seems like things like that always have a way of getting out."

"You spent too much time teaching teenagers. Gossip doesn't travel as fast in the outside world as it does inside Hogwarts," Sirius said lightly. He smiled. "Come on, Moony. Even if they do find out, I don't think they'll be all that upset. Do they expect you to be a monk?"

"They expect me to be faithful to her," Remus answered quietly.

Sirius sobered. "Remus, you can't spend your entire life being faithful to a dead woman. You're still alive. You're still allowed to have feelings, to have emotions, to – to kiss anyone you want."

Remus smiled sadly. "How would you feel if you were one of Laura's brothers? If your sister had died and you found out that her husband – the man who had sworn to love her forever – was suddenly struggling with feelings for another woman? Another woman who was fourteen years younger than he was?"

Sirius grinned at that. "You have serious issues with her age, don't you?"

"Well, the fact that we were halfway done at Hogwarts by the time she was born is a bit disconcerting, yes."

"You know, age is just a number."

Remus laughed. "Since when do you quote lines like that?"

Sirius smiled sadly. "Since James wasn't here to do it anymore."

Remus sighed, and sat down next to Sirius on the bed. "Now do you understand what I'm trying to say? James meant so much to you – he was like a brother. Imagine that Lily had survived the attack. Imagine that she was welcoming Harry home for Christmas tonight. I'm sure she would have invited us both over. We would go to their house, and Harry would greet us at the door. He'd take us inside, where Lily would be sitting with her new boyfriend – the man who was taking James's place in their lives and their family. How would you feel? Would you think that she was betraying James's memory? Making a mockery of their relationship? Letting you down?"

Sirius's eyes were suddenly over-bright. "Remus, that's a terrible example."

"You're saying that because you know that I'm right."

"No," Sirius said hoarsely, "I'm saying that because if there was any way that the scene you just described could really happen, I'd be so thrilled to see Lily sitting there, I wouldn't care _who_ she was entertaining. I'd cheer her on if she decided to marry Cornelius Fudge, just as long as she was still with us."

Remus closed his eyes, realizing how much pain he had unintentionally caused his friend. "Sirius, I'm sorry. I've had so much time to come to terms with their deaths that it didn't seem like such a horrible thing to say. I should have thought – "

Sirius shook his head as he stood to his feet. "It's not your fault. You didn't tell me to talk them into using Peter as their Secret Keeper. You didn't cause all this to happen."

Remus opened his mouth to reply, to make him understand that it wasn't his fault, but Sirius was already leaving the room. Remus stared at the door that had framed his friend's retreating back for a long time before he was able to resume packing.

* * *

"Good morning," Olivia smiled to one of her coworkers as she made her way to her office the next morning.

"Good morning," Pierre replied. "Oh, Olivia, Jean is looking for you."

"Jean?" she repeated. "Why? He makes the schedules; he should know that I wasn't supposed to be here until now."

Pierre shrugged. "I'm just passing along the information."

"Thanks," Olivia replied. She should have known not to expect a straight answer. She had long-since realized that the few French Aurors in the office always stuck together – almost as if they needed to band together against their British coworkers.

"You can probably find him in his office," Pierre added.

"Thanks," Olivia said again. "I'll go look for him now."

She changed direction, and walked briskly down the hall to Jean's office. She had no idea what he could possibly want with her. Although they maintained a fine working relationship, she knew that it was their lack of communication that helped them stay on good terms. They tended to rub one another the wrong way, and Jean was as quick-tempered and stubborn as Olivia – a combination that had led to more than one inter-departmental fight. After the last battle, their supervisor had asked that they limit their contact to only that which was absolutely necessary. They generally only spoke when giving one another reports, updates or pertinent news. Olivia hoped that this was a simple "report" visit.

She reached Jean's office and knocked on the open door. He looked up from his paperwork and gave her a smile – a sure sign of bad news.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "Please, come in."

She entered his office slowly, unsure of whether to sit or stand. Jean took care of that problem for her when he rose to his feet and crossed to a filing cabinet.

"I wanted to talk to you personally about the holiday schedule before I post it," he said, pulling a piece of parchment from a drawer in the cabinet.

"That doesn't sound good," she said in a light tone.

"Actually, for you, it's not," he said. "Listen, Olivia, I've had more requests for time off during the holidays this year than I ever have. Most of them have come from Aurors who have small children and want to spend time with them on Christmas morning."

Her face fell as she realized what he was about to say. "You're asking me to work over Christmas, aren't you?"

"Well, yes," he said. "I know that you always have that time off, and I know it's because your family lives so far away, but I really can't spare you this year. I've given you time off for New Year's, instead."

"But not Christmas?"

"I can't," he said. "I can't ask the people with little ones to give it up."

"But you can ask me?"

"Olivia, you don't have children," he said, coldness creeping into his voice. "I'm sure that your mother will appreciate seeing you just as much after Christmas."

"What about my nieces?" she snapped. "Or do they not count because they aren't _my_ children?" She knew it was unethical to bring her nieces into the argument when she had planned to spend very little time with them, but hoped that it might work. Jean didn't know of her plans for the holidays.

"In this case, I'm going to have to say that they don't count as much as they would if they were your own," he said harshly. "I've already made the schedule, Alexander, and this is how it will remain. Complain all you want, but it won't help. And if you even _think_ about calling off any day you're scheduled for the next two weeks, I'll do my best to have you demoted."

She felt all emotion slip from her face, giving way to the "Auror mask" that hid her true feelings. There was no way she would ever let Jean know that her first impulse had, indeed, been to call in sick. She knew that he would follow through on his threat. He hated that she outranked him; any excuse to have her demoted was good enough to him.

"You understand the schedule, then?" he asked.

"Yes. Thank you for letting me know," she said shortly.

Turning quickly, she left his office. She walked to her own office, where she closed the door. Pausing to lean up against it, she grabbed her hair back in a ponytail.

"Oh, Sirius is going to _love_ this."

* * *

Sirius wandered around his empty house for what felt like the hundredth time. Remus had left early that morning – so early, in fact, that Sirius had still be asleep. He rather regretted sleeping so late. He had wanted to talk to Remus, to apologize for his outburst the day before. It was probably unnecessary, he knew – Remus rarely held a grudge, and had likely already forgiven and forgotten. Even so, it would make Sirius feel better.

"Master, a lady is wanting to talk to you," Kreacher said, giving an exaggerated bow as he crossed paths with Sirius in the hallway.

"Get up. You know I don't like it when you do that." Sirius scowled at the house-elf. "Where is this lady? In the kitchen?"

"Yes, Master. In the fire."

Sirius nodded, and hurried to the kitchen. Olivia's head was in the dancing flames, waiting for him.

"Hi, Liv," he grinned. "Kreacher just told me you were waiting. You haven't been here long, have you?"

"Only a few moments," she said. "Listen, Sirius, we need to talk."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's my schedule," she sighed. "I have to work over Christmas."

"But you said you're always off for Christmas."

"I always have been," she replied, "but, apparently, we've had a baby boom in the department. They're giving the time off to the Aurors who have kids."

"So you won't be able to visit?" Disappointed flooded through him, but he tried to hide his feelings from her. She obviously felt bad enough without him adding to it.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should be able to come for New Year's Eve, though."

"So we have to wait another week?" He knew he shouldn't have said that, but couldn't stop it. The idea of being without her for Christmas was like a knife twisting in his heart. He hadn't realized exactly how much spending the holiday with her had meant to him until it was taken away.

"I'm sorry," she said again, looking truly miserable.

"Don't be," Sirius said firmly, hoping she hadn't realized how disappointed he was. "It's not your fault. You didn't ask for this."

"No, I know that, but I still feel terrible. I wish there was some other way that we could be together."

"We will be – just a little later than we had anticipated." He sighed. "Maybe my name will be cleared by next Christmas, and I'll be able to visit you."

"Visit?" she asked. "We'd better be living together, if that's the case."

"Are you asking me to marry you?" Sirius grinned.

"Maybe," Olivia grinned. "We'll talk about it later, all right?"

"All right."

She sighed. "I'm so, so sorry, Sirius."

"If you say that again, I'm going to refuse to forgive you."

She grinned. "All right. Merry Christmas."

"I love you," he replied.

"I love you, too."

Her face disappeared from the flames with a pop. Sirius stared into the fire for a moment, feeling the hurt and disappointment over the death of all his plans for the holiday as it washed over him in waves. Standing quickly to his feet, he grabbed a jar of ink from the table. He threw it across the room, where it slammed into a wall, shattering into hundreds of pieces. He drew some grim satisfaction from watching the ink run down the white paint.

"Kreacher!" he bellowed. "Get in here and clean this up!"

The house-elf made his way into the kitchen. He looked at the ink-splattered wall for a moment, then at Sirius.

"Master is destroying his mother's house," he said. "Was it not enough to break her heart?"

"She didn't have a heart to break," Sirius said. He grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey and a shot glass from the cupboard. "I want this cleaned up by the time I come back in here."

"Yes, Master."

* * *

Sirius lost track of time as he lost himself in the firewhiskey. He didn't let himself get completely drunk, feeling that to do so would imply that he had a drinking problem. Rather, he drank until he was relaxed and a bit tipsy. Then he would stop until he was sober, then begin drinking again.

He had no idea how late it was when Phineas appeared in the portrait facing him in the library. He nearly jumped out of his seat when he saw the man.

"There you are," Phineas said. "I've been bellowing your name from the portrait upstairs for ages."

"I've been here the whole time," Sirius said, blinking at him.

"It's not exactly easy to get down here since you destroyed all those portraits."

Sirius scowled at him. "Do you have a reason to be here, or is your sole purpose to annoy me?"

"Oh, no, I have a message for you from the Headmaster," Phineas replied.

"Which would be?"

"Arthur Weasley has been injured," Phineas recited. "His wife, children and Harry Potter are coming to stay with you."

"What?" Sirius yelled, jumping out of his seat. "What happened?"

"If you want details, you're going to have to ask Dumbledore."

"No, I'm going to ask the messenger who knows far more than he's willing to say!" Sirius yelled. "Tell me what you know!"

"Arthur Weasley is gravely injured," Phineas said again. "Something about the Ministry – the Potter boy knew about it, though I have no idea why, and the children –"

"Wait a minute," Sirius said. "Harry knew?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Didn't you hear me say that I don't know?"

Sirius sighed. "You have no idea at all?"

"All I know is that he showed up in the Headmaster's office with one of the Weasley boys and Minerva, raving about some dream that he had had . . ."

Phineas continued, but Sirius didn't hear him. His mind was still busy turning over the last phrase: _raving about some dream_.

"Remus, I think this is it," he muttered to himself. "We've hit the point where we need to talk to Dumbledore."

"Are you even listening anymore?" Phineas asked.

"No," Sirius said bluntly. "When will they arrive?"

"Within minutes, I'm sure. Dumbledore seemed most eager to get the children here as soon as possible."

"I'd better get ready, then," Sirius said. He hurried out of the room to do just that, the sounds of Phineas screaming about his lack of gratitude following him down the hall.

_I guess I won't be spending Christmas alone after all_.

And, although he was horrified to think of what Harry's dream might mean, although he was terribly worried about Arthur, although he knew this could be awful for the Order, he couldn't help feeling a bit happy that he would have company for Christmas.


	17. Christmas Horror

A/N: One of my New Year's Resolutions is to update my story more frequently, so here's my first attempt at keeping it! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

On an unrelated note, I've created a forum to use as a discussion board for my stories and characters. If you have any questions or just want to toy with an idea, feel free to post it there. I'll check it at least once a day, so I'll answer your questions or give any input that I can.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! You're the best!

I don't own Harry Potter or _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. Some dialogue is taken from pages 480 – 81 of the American Hardback edition. All credit is given to JK Rowling and her publishers.

Christmas Horror

Sirius was certain that the night he spent with Harry and the Weasleys waiting for news of Arthur's condition was one of the longest of his life. Even his first horrible nights in Azkaban couldn't compare with watching the terrified grief dance across the faces of the four Weasleys. And Harry . . . Sirius could understand the fear and the shock in his eyes, but he was sure that he could see _guilt_ there, too, which made no sense at all. What could Harry possibly have to feel guilty about in this situation? It was his dream that had alerted them all to Arthur's condition, his dream that had helped them to find him before it was too late. He knew that he needed to have a talk with his godson, but he also knew that this wasn't the time. They needed to stay where they were, to support the others.

When Molly finally came to tell them that Arthur was recovering, the entire atmosphere of the house changed. It was as though the horrible shadow that hung over them was banished, giving way to tentative rays of sun. Watching the children run to hug their mother, Sirius realized anew how much strength they all from her. They were all still worried, of course, but the he could tell that they were reassured as much by Molly's presence as they were by her words. Even Sirius felt inexplicably light and happy as he went to make breakfast, smiling as he watched Molly hugging Harry, thanking him for saving her husband's life. Sirius hoped that her words would assuage whatever guilt he was feeling. He turned away from the celebrating family to put a frying pan on the stove.

His work was interrupted a moment later by a touch on his arm. He looked around to see Molly standing next to him.

"Sirius, I want to thank you," she said. "You were really there for us when we needed help, and you did so much for the children last night – I know it would have killed them to stay at Hogwarts knowing that their dad was in London. Just being closer to him meant so much to them, and I'm so grateful to you for taking them in for me."

"It was my pleasure," Sirius replied, smiling. "They're great kids, Molly, and I'm so glad that there was a way that I could help. If you'd like, I'd love to have all of you stay with me until Arthur is released. I'm sure you'll want to visit him quite often, and we're closer to St. Mungo's here than you would be at home – I know that will make it easier with Ron and Ginny not yet able to Apparate . . ."

"Oh, Sirius, I'm so grateful. . . . They think he'll be there a little while and it would be wonderful to be nearer . . . Of course, that might mean we're here for Christmas. . . ."

"The more the merrier!" Sirius said at once, thrilled at the prospect of having all of them with him for the holidays.

Molly beamed at him, and opened a drawer to take out an apron so that she could help with breakfast.

Sirius smiled back at her and turned to the stove. He had just picked up an egg to crack when he was interrupted again, this time by Harry's low whisper.

"Sirius, can I have a quick word? _Now_?"

Surprised by the desperation in his godson's voice, Sirius nodded and followed Harry into the pantry. He looked down at him, wishing that he had his wand with him to light the small room. He wanted to see more than the reflection of the light from the kitchen in Harry's eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I wasn't really honest when I told you about my dream," Harry said at once.

"What do you mean?" Sirius frowned. "You said that a snake attacked Arthur in the Ministry. You knew where he was. You told Dumbledore, Arthur was found, and now everything's going to be all right. How could you have been dishonest?"

The question seemed to open the door to all that Harry had been holding inside all night. His words tumbled out so quickly that Sirius was barely able to keep up with what he was saying, let alone interrupt to ask any questions.

"Sirius, I told you that I _saw_ a snake attack Mr. Weasley. Well, that's not exactly right. I _was_ the snake that attacked Mr. Weasley. I didn't just see the attack from above or something. I was right there. I could feel myself slithering across the floor. I could taste the air with my tongue. I saw Mr. Weasley there and I _wanted_ to attack him. Then I did do it, and I felt my fangs going into him, I felt his bones breaking under my jaws, I felt his blood running all over me . . . I don't understand what happened, but it wasn't right. I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't control anything . . . I think that I'm the one who did this, but I don't know how I could have! And I can't tell them, Sirius, I can't. They'll hate me for it." He finished with an expulsion of the small amount of air that was left in his lungs and the most miserable expression Sirius had ever seen on the face of a teenager.

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment. He had never wanted to talk to Remus so much in his life. This was exactly what Remus had been talking about, exactly what he had been afraid would happen . . .

"Did you tell Dumbledore this?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," Harry replied with a bit of impatience in his voice. "But he didn't tell me what it meant. Well, he doesn't tell me anything anymore. . . ."

"I'm sure he would have told you if it was anything to worry about," Sirius said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone.

"But that's not all," Harry whispered. "Sirius, I . . . I think I'm going mad. . . . Back in Dumbledore's office, just before we took the Portkey . . . for a couple of seconds there I thought I was a snake, I _felt_ like one – my scar really hurt when I was looking at Dumbledore – Sirius, I wanted to attack him –"

Sirius tried his best to keep his expression neutral, hoping against hope that Harry couldn't see him clearly. In that moment, he had never been more afraid for his godson, not even when he had watched Hagrid take him to Petunia's house as a baby. He felt utterly powerless to help him . . . but there had to be some way to comfort him . . .

"It must have been the aftermath of the vision, that's all. You were still thinking of the dream or whatever it was and –"

"It wasn't that," Harry interrupted. "It was like something rose up inside me, like there's a _snake_ inside me –"

Near panic seized Sirius. He needed to talk to Remus _immediately_, and then they needed to find a way to talk to Dumbledore. This had gone too far – farther than either of them had ever thought that it would. Could it be possible – was Harry being _possessed_? Sirius banished the thought as quickly as it came. He couldn't think it – he wouldn't let himself go down that road, even in his thoughts.

"You need to sleep," he told Harry. "You're going to have breakfast and then go upstairs to bed, and then you can go and see Arthur after lunch with the others. You're in shock, Harry; you're blaming yourself for something you only witnessed, and it's lucky you _did_ witness it or Arthur might have died. Just stop worrying . . ."

He brought his hand down on Harry's shoulder, hoping to offer him some additional encouragement, then walked out of the pantry. He returned to the kitchen, where the Weasleys, despite their lack of sleep, were talking animatedly. He barely heard them as he helped Molly with breakfast. His thoughts were consumed with his conversation with Harry.

"Dumbledore is sending Tonks and Mad-Eye over to take the children and I back to the hospital this afternoon," Molly informed Sirius. "He wants them to go with as much protection as possible . . . considering . . ." Her eyes drifted to Harry, who had emerged from the pantry looking every bit as pale as he had when he walked in.

"How much do you know?" Sirius asked slowly.

"Enough," Molly sighed. "We'll talk to Tonks and Moody when they get here."

"Right," Sirius agreed.

It wasn't going to be the same as discussing it with Remus, but it was a start. He'd have to send an owl to his friend at the first opportunity. He knew that Remus would want to know about this – and that he would analyze every detail, as Olivia would put it, down to nothing. Right now, Sirius needed that analytical side of Remus. He needed Remus to find a way to prove that his greatest fears were unfounded.

* * *

Tonks and Moody arrived after breakfast, while Harry and the Weasleys were sleeping. Molly was still awake. Despite Sirius's suggestion that she sleep, she was determined to stay up to talk to Tonks and Moody.

"How's Arthur?" Tonks asked as soon as she entered the kitchen, where Sirius and Molly were sitting drinking coffee.

"He'll be all right," Molly replied. "It was touch and go for awhile, but the Healers are quite optimistic at this point. They still need to keep him there for awhile, but, barring any complications, he should be fine."

"Good," Tonks said, clearly relieved. "I can't believe something like this happened. This is a clear sign that he's making his way into the Ministry. Part of me just wants to run into Fudge's office and tell him exactly what happened."

"That really doesn't seem like the best course of action," Sirius said.

Tonks rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Yes, Sirius, I'm aware of that."

"Just making sure," he said with a teasing smile.

"Potter saw this whole attack, did he?" Moody asked in an effort to get the conversation back on track.

"He had a dream about it," Molly said.

"A dream?" Tonks frowned. "You mean like a prophecy?"

"No," Sirius interjected, "he dreamed it while it was happening."

"But how is that possible?"

"I don't know," Sirius said, running his hands over his face. "But, I have to admit, it scares me a bit. Harry told me that he didn't just witness what happened – he _felt_ it."

"What do you mean, he felt it?" Moody asked.

"He told me that he _was_ the snake that attacked Arthur."

Molly looked horrified. "He couldn't have been. It's not possible. He was in his bed the entire time!"

"That's the strange part," Sirius said. "I don't understand how he could have been the snake. It's like you said, he was in bed at Hogwarts while it happened. How could he have been there? Yet, he told me in no uncertain terms that he felt everything that happened." He shook his head. "I don't understand it, and I don't like it. Nothing about this makes sense."

"Has anyone talked to Dumbledore about this?" Moody asked.

"Only briefly," Molly said. "And, I must admit, I was far more concerned about Arthur's condition than about how it happened." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Dumbledore was worried about Harry, though – very worried."

"What did he say?" Tonks asked.

Molly shook her head. "Nothing much."

"Someone should talk to Dumbledore about this. We need him to give up some information," Tonks said. "I'm sure he'll have more insight than we can come up with on our own."

"I'll talk to him," Sirius said quickly. "I'll try to contact him while you're at the hospital with Arthur this afternoon."

"You'll let us know what you learn, won't you?" Molly asked anxiously.

"Of course," Sirius replied.

She shook her head. "Poor Harry. I can't even imagine what he must be feeling right now."

"An awful lot of guilt," Sirius said. "He honestly seems think that he's to blame for this. I tried to tell him that it was a _good_ thing that he witnessed the attack – if he hadn't, who knows when Arthur would have been found? But he's still so stuck on the snake aspect that he can't see the good in the situation."

"Well, we'll do our best to make sure that he can see that we're grateful to him," Molly said. "I don't blame him in the slightest, and I know that no one else in my family will, either."

"No one should blame him," Moody said. "Even if he is being possessed, there's nothing he can do to help it."

"Possessed?" Tonks asked. "Don't you think you're going a bit far, Moody?"

"No," Moody said bluntly. "It's a possibility, Tonks, and at this point, we need to consider every possibility."

"I know, I know," she said. "Constant vigilance."

"Exactly."

* * *

Although his initial promise had been to talk to Dumbledore, Sirius first wanted to talk to Remus. He sent his Patronus with a message asking Remus to come back as soon as possible. Within moments, his friend Apparated into the library, where Sirius was searching through his parents' books trying to find information about possession.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked immediately.

"Quite a bit," Sirius said grimly. "Take a seat."

Remus sat down on the couch and looked at him expectantly.

"Arthur was attacked at the Ministry last night," Sirius said.

"Attacked?" Remus gasped. "By Death Eaters?"

Sirius shook his head. "By Voldemort's snake."

"What?" Remus exclaimed. "What was his snake doing there?"

"We can only guess," Sirius shrugged.

"How's Arthur?"

"He's going to be fine."

"Good," Remus said, obviously relieved. "How is Molly?"

"She's doing far better than I would have expected of anyone in her place. She and the kids are staying here until he's released – Harry, too."

"Good," Remus said again.

"There's more, Moony."

"Okay, let's hear it."

Sirius drew a deep breath. "We found out about the attack because Harry had a dream about it."

Remus jumped out of his seat. "He's still having these dreams because of his connection with Voldemort?"

"Yes, but Remus, this time it was different."

"How so?" Remus asked, pacing around the fireplace.

"This time – this time, Harry felt like the _was_ the snake. He told me he could feel himself slithering around, that he could feel his fangs sinking into Arthur when he bit him."

Remus looked horrified. "Does Dumbledore know?"

"Harry told him, but he wouldn't tell Harry what it meant."

"Have you talked to him?"

"I wanted to talk to you first."

Remus nodded. "We need to talk to him, Padfoot. This has gone on long enough. Harry can't keep living like this, with Voldemort invading his thoughts at every turn. He's getting far too close, far too deep into Voldemort's mind. And what if it's something even more than that?" He clasped his hands together and sat back down. "We need to talk to Dumbledore. As soon as possible."

"This is not exactly the conversation I was hoping you and I would have."

"What were you hoping for?" Remus asked distractedly.

"I was hoping you'd tell me this wasn't as horrible as I was making it out to be."

Remus sighed and sat down again. "I wish I could tell you that. But the truth is that it is pretty terrifying." He drew a deep breath. "Okay, let's go over the whole thing again. What was the dream about?"

Sirius launched into the description that Harry had given, trying to retain as much detail as possible. Remus nodded silently as he spoke.

"Okay," he said when Sirius stopped talking, "let's tear it apart."

Sirius grinned. "_That's_ what I was hoping to hear you say."

* * *

Dumbledore, knowing that Sirius and Remus would be as worried as he was about Harry, arrived at number 12, Grimmauld Place that afternoon while the others were still out. He found Sirius and Remus in the library, where they were discussing every detail of Harry's dream, trying to make some sense of what had happened.

"Good afternoon," he said as he entered the room. "I assume you are discussing Harry's dream to the point of no longer remembering all the involved parties?"

"That pretty much sums it up," Sirius said, exchanging a grin with Remus. "We're worried about him, sir. We're trying to find a way to help."

Dumbledore nodded. "I completely understand. It is a situation that has created more questions that we would like to answer – perhaps more than we _can_ answer."

"But you must have some answers?" Remus asked.

"Some," Dumbledore said. "I can only hope that they are correct. Unfortunately, this connection that Harry shares with Voldemort is unique. There is no real precedent for us to follow. The way in which we proceed has not been laid out for us, and may be fraught with missteps. I can only hope that our mistakes are not so horrible as to be irreparable."

"How do you propose that we begin?"

"By considering what is happening between Harry and Voldemort."

"It seems like a very advanced Legilimency," Remus said.

"But it doesn't make sense," Sirius frowned. "Harry and Voldemort are never near one another. How can he perform Legilimency without eye contact?"

"This is one of the ways in which the case is unique," Dumbledore said. "I believe that you have found the correct theory. It does seem likely that Harry is entering Voldemort's thoughts."

"But you have to be trained to perform Legilimency," Sirius protested. "I've studied it, and I know that I could never do it – especially when dealing with someone like Voldemort, who is known to be a master of the art. How could Harry do this without even trying?"

"Again, this is a very different situation," Dumbledore said. "I am certain that Harry is completely unaware of what he is doing. The connection allows him access that no one else could even dream of having, but that he has without even trying. He is receiving messages that have little meaning to him, but immense meaning to others." He paused. "I have suspected that this was happening for some time now."

"How long has he been doing this?" Sirius asked.

"I first suspected it when you wrote me of his dream about the murder of Frank Bryce."

"But that was over a year ago!"

"Yes. I haven't said anything to Harry for fear of what it will do to him."

"But you want to tell him now?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful for a moment. "Harry has gone further into Voldemort's mind than I have ever known a person to go. He has gone beyond merely seeing what Voldemort sees to actually feeling what he feels. He is able to witness his actions as they are happening, to share his obsessions because he sees them as often as Voldemort does."

Sirius nodded. "He's told me of feeling happy or angry for no reason."

Dumbledore nodded. "He is experiencing Voldemort's emotions."

"Does Voldemort know of this?" Remus asked.

"If it were merely confined to sharing his emotions, I doubt that he would realize it," Dumbledore said. "But Harry has gone beyond that. He is able to actually share Voldemort's thoughts. Last night, he felt that he was one with Voldemort."

Sirius shivered. "That's a rather disconcerting thought."

"Indeed," Dumbledore said softly. "And, I fear, last night's experience could not have gone unnoticed by Voldemort. He will, undoubtedly, now know that Harry is able to enter his mind – and he may, in turn, try to enter Harry's."

"He needs to learn to defend himself," Remus said. "He needs to learn Occlumency. Will you teach him, sir?"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I would love nothing more. However, I don't think it wise. With Harry sharing so many of Voldemort's thoughts and feelings, and Voldemort likely to now share Harry's, I cannot risk Voldemort discovering how close Harry and I are. I cannot risk him realizing that Harry could lead him to the Order. He would use Harry to attack me or to attack the Order – and while I do not fear for my own safety, I fear what he would do to Harry in the process."

"Who will teach him, then?"

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Perhaps Severus. He is very accomplished in the field; I am certain that he would be an exceptional teacher for Harry."

"But Harry hates him!" Sirius blurted out without thinking.

Dumbledore smiled tolerantly. "Severus will never be Harry's favorite teacher, I am sure. However, I am also certain that Harry will be able to recognize that Severus is very knowledgeable, and will view him as someone from whom he can learn a great deal."

"Will Severus agree to teach him?" Remus asked mildly.

"Is there a reason he would not?"

Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. In the moment their eyes locked, unspoken memories of all the ways that James and Snape had tormented one another, of the mutual loathing between them, surfaced.

"No," Remus said at last, "I'm sure he would agree."

* * *

"No, he won't," Sirius said as soon as Dumbledore left. "You know he doesn't want anything to do with Harry."

"I also know that he doesn't want to do anything to endanger his job," Remus replied. "He'll do what Dumbledore tells him to do."

"And do it well?"

"He'd better."

"Or what?" Sirius sighed. "He won't use Harry as a way to get back at James's memory, will he?"

"I hope not," Remus said. "Don't you think enough time has passed that he's over that? We were children, Sirius."

"Some things take more time to get over than others. I think a lifelong grudge is one of those things."

Remus smiled slightly. "Isn't that going a bit far?"

"Are you over all that he did to us in school? Or, better yet, all that he tried to do? Remus, he did his best to have you expelled!"

"He did his best to have _all_ of us expelled," Remus replied. "But he also kept his word to Dumbledore and never told anyone what I am."

"Until you taught with him."

"Even then, it wasn't until the end of the year. I think that he has moved on from the grudges of childhood."

Sirius shook his head. "He didn't hate you the way he hated James and I, Moony. I'm not sure he'll be able to separate how he felt about James from how he feels about Harry."

Remus sighed. "Let's just hope that he's willing to try."

* * *

"Severus, may I come in?"

Snape looked up from the essays he had been grading. "Of course, Headmaster."

Dumbledore stepped into Snape's office. He crossed to sit down, looking at him across his desk. "Severus, I'd like to speak with you about adding additional lessons to your schedule."

"You're considering another Potions class?" Snape asked.

"No," Dumbledore said. "This falls under another area in which you excel: Legilimency."

"You would have the students learn to delve into one another's minds?" Snape asked in surprise.

"Not all of them," Dumbledore said. He paused, drawing his fingertips together under his chin. "Severus, you know that Harry Potter bears a scar on his forehead from his encounter with Voldemort when he was an infant."

"Yes," Snape said, obviously confused as to where this conversation was going.

"I have reason to believe that the attack and perhaps even the scar have created a connection between Harry's mind and Voldemort's."

"A connection?" Snape asked, his eyes widening. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"Harry has told me of certain . . . dreams, visions, call them what you like – that suggest that he is privy to far more information about Voldemort's actions, emotions and thoughts than even most Death Eaters would know."

"He is practicing Legilimency?"

"Yes and no. He is able to tap into Voldemort's thoughts and feelings when his mind is at its most relaxed – such as when he is sleeping. He does not know what he is doing. In reality, he does not even know how or why he has these glimpses into Voldemort's mind."

"What do you want me to teach him, then?"

"To block them," Dumbledore said simply. "I want you to teach him Occlumency. I want to be sure that Harry cannot continue to invade Voldemort's mind. I want to be sure that he cannot invade Harry's."

"Is the Dark Lord aware of this connection?" Snape asked, his eyes widening even further.

"After what happened with Arthur Weasley and the snake, I think it foolish to even consider the possibility that he is unaware of what is happening. That is why it is imperative that Harry learn to defend himself."

"Yes, I can see that," Snape said slowly.

Dumbledore leaned forward slightly. "Do you understand what I am asking of you, Severus? I am asking you to train Harry to defend himself against a magic that he has never heard of, against a magic that is defying all its normal rules. Harry and Voldemort never hold eye contact, yet are about to see into one another's thoughts. All that we would normally presume about Legilimency is invalid in this case. With your level of expertise, however, I am certain that you can teach Harry the proper defenses."

"I can try," Snape said in the same slow voice.

"You agree, then? You are willing to work with Harry individually to learn Occlumency?"

Snape paused for a moment. As much as he hated the idea of giving Harry these lessons, there was surely some benefit to be gleaned from the experience. He wanted to delve into Harry's mind himself, to see exactly what thoughts of the Dark Lord's Harry had seen. He wanted to know how far Harry had penetrated into the Dark Lord's mind. He also wanted to learn about this mysterious, unprecedented connection between them. He knew that any information he could give the Dark Lord about it would be rewarded handsomely.

"Severus?"

"Yes," he said at last. "I will teach Harry."

Dumbledore beamed. "Thank you. If you'd like to speak with him about setting up your lessons, you can find him at headquarters."

"Thank you, sir," Snape replied. "I'll begin as soon as classes resume."

"Excellent," Dumbledore said, still beaming. "Excellent."


	18. Holiday Cheer

A/N: I know. It's been forever. You probably thought I was dead. In reality, I nearly drowned in the insane amount of end-of-semester work I've been doing. January is truly the worst month of the year when it comes to schoolwork. But it's over now, and I truly apologize for the delay in posting! Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter up before the end of the week!

And for all those of you in the US, I hope you watched the Super Bowl last nightand cheered the Steelers on to victory! I've never been so excited over a sporting event! We've finally got the "one for the thumb!"

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Holiday Cheer

Exhausted, Remus made his way slowly to headquarters. He had been working with the werewolf colony again, spying in an effort to glean more information before beginning to actually speak with the werewolves. Dumbledore had already told him that they were nearing the time when he would be asked to go openly into the colony in the hopes of convincing the werewolves to go against Voldemort. He had asked Remus to seriously consider whether or not he was willing to do so. Remus knew that it was the last thing that he wanted to do, but that he had no choice. Who else could be sent into a situation like that?

The decision to do it, however, still plagued him. For that reason, he had Apparated to a point a short distance away from headquarters. He had hoped that walking through the cold night air would do him some good. As the house appeared before him, he knew that the walk had helped to calm his nerves, but had not put his mind to rest. He sighed as he opened the door, hoping that he would be able to shelve all his worries to spend time with Harry and the Weasleys.

As he walked through the front door, he paused, wondering if he had somehow walked into the wrong house. Christmas seemed to have exploded all over the quiet, dark dwelling. Decorations were everywhere, and he was sure that he could hear the faint sounds of Christmas carols. He walked through the front hall toward the rest of the house with an expression of shock on his face.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed as Remus entered the living room. "How are you?"

"Stunned," Remus replied, sitting down slowly. "The house . . ."

"Doesn't it look amazing?" Sirius grinned. "Molly, the kids and I have spent the past few days decorating. I'm actually thinking of charming the mounted elves' heads to sing Christmas carols, but I'm not sure that Hermione would handle it well. What do you think?"

"I think she'd hurt you if you tried," Remus smiled. "I can't believe all that you've managed to do while I've been gone!"

"Well, it's taken everyone's minds off Arthur," Sirius said earnestly. "The Weasleys are so worried and Harry's been convinced that he was possessed . . .I had to do _something_."

"Harry thinks that he's been possessed?" Remus exclaimed.

"Yeah, I think he's over that now," Sirius said. "Ginny talked to him about it for awhile – she has firsthand experience, you know."

Remus nodded with a slightly ill expression on his face. He hated the thought of all that Ginny had endured as an eleven-year-old at the hands of Voldemort.

"You know, I think that she and Harry are actually cute together," Sirius said with a grin.

Remus rolled his eyes. "What, you couldn't get Tonks and I together, so now you're playing matchmaker for the kids?"

"I would never even try," Sirius laughed. "I remember what it was like to be their age. They have enough drama on their own without me adding to it." He paused and grinned at his friend. "And don't think that I've given up on you and Tonks. I still think the two of you have an excellent shot at a relationship."

"Sirius . . ."

"I know," Sirius replied, holding up his hands to stop whatever argument Remus was going to give him. "I promised to stay out of it, and I have. Can I ask you a question, though?"

"I suppose so."

"Have you thought about what kind of relationship you'd like to have with her?"

Remus sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew that he would be completely honest with Sirius. He was one of the few people with whom Remus felt comfortable speaking openly.

"Moony?"

He opened his eyes slowly. "I've thought about it," he admitted.

"And?"

"I don't know, Padfoot," Remus sighed. "I've tried to stop thinking about what Laura's family would think if they knew I was with someone else, but that's been tough. Aside from that . . . I just think that Tonks deserves better. She deserves a man who is younger, one who is gainfully employed . . . who doesn't turn into a monster once a month . . ." He looked away from Sirius. "She's too amazing to waste her life on me."

Sirius's eyes widened. "Are you trying to tell me that you have romantic feelings for her?" After spending so much time trying to get him to admit it, Sirius could scarcely believe what he was hearing.

"No," Remus said sadly. "I can't have feelings for her. It just wouldn't work out." He paused, and then repeated his earlier statement. "She deserves better."

Sirius let out a long, slow breath. "I think that you're selling her short. I think she'd be willing to work with all the obstacles that you can see standing between the two of you."

Remus shook his head. "I don't want her to have to. I want her to be free to fall in love with someone who doesn't come with all these obstacles. I want her to have the life she's always dreamed of."

"You do realize that it sounds an awful lot like you have very deep feelings for her?" Sirius said slowly. "It sounds rather like you're falling in love with her."

Remus shook his head again. "I can't, Sirius. I just can't." He paused and looked away for a moment. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"All right," Sirius agreed. He cast his mind around for a new topic. "How about Harry?"

Remus grinned. "You never need much encouragement to talk about him, do you?"

"Well, there is a very important reason for discussing him."

"And that would be?"

"Christmas," Sirius said. "This is the first Christmas since he was a baby that I'm allowed to openly give him a present – and I thought we could go in together on it."

Remus looked apprehensive. "What are you planning to get him? I hope you weren't expecting much along the financial lines from me."

"Actually, I was hoping more for something along the practical lines from you," Sirius replied. "I'm not exactly sure, but I think I'd like to get him some sort of defensive magic book – and I thought you could go pick one out."

"That's a really good idea!" Remus exclaimed. "He'll need something to help him with the practical component of his Defense O.W.L." He thought for a moment. "Tell you what. I'll go shop around and bring back some ideas. We can go over them together and pick the book that we like best for him. Then I can go back and buy it."

Sirius nodded. "That's perfect." He paused. "And, Moony," he said softly, "don't worry about the financial thing. I've got it covered."

"Sirius, I don't want you to –"

"I know," Sirius said, holding up his hands. "But, for too long, I've been away from his life. I should have been buying him the most extravagant Christmas and birthday presents imaginable for the past fifteen years. Now that I can, I want to spend all my money on him. Please, just let me do this."

Remus nodded slowly. "All right. If it will make you happy."

"Thanks."

* * *

In some ways, it is impossible to grow up. Remus was sure that he would forever be a little boy on Christmas. As always, he woke up far too early, eager to see what the day held. He did feel a bit confused when he awoke in his room at headquarters rather than his room at his parents' house, but quickly reminded himself of all that had happened. He would visit with his parents at the next opportunity. Hoping that they would understand why he couldn't be with them for the holiday, he climbed out of bed and headed for the shower.

By the time he was walking along the hall to go downstairs, others were stirring in the house. He could hear movement in Harry and Ron's room as he walked past; he assumed that the boys were opening their gifts. Smiling at the thought of the books that he and Sirius had chosen for Harry, he continued to the kitchen.

Molly was already there, making breakfast at the stove. She smiled brightly at Remus as he entered the room.

"Merry Christmas, Remus," she said.

"Merry Christmas," he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'm sure you're going to far too much trouble."

"Nonsense," she said, waving him away. "It's Christmas! We should have an extravagant breakfast."

Remus smiled, knowing that there was no way to convince her that their extravagant dinner would be quite enough. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You could start the coffee, if you'd like."

"Sure."

Remus was still searching for the coffee – Molly had apparently rearranged the cupboards again during her current stay at headquarters – when Fred and George came into the room, both sporting their new Christmas jumpers. They both looked slightly tousle-haired and bleary-eyed, but they smiled cheerfully at their mother.

"Good morning, Mum!"

"Merry Christmas!"

"Good morning, boys," she smiled, pulling them both close for affectionate hugs. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Professor," they said once their mother had released them.

"Merry Christmas," he replied. Coffee supplies in hand, he went about the task of making the beverage, while the twins took seats at the table.

"Where are the others?" George asked.

"Still sleeping, I expect," Molly replied. "You're the first ones we've seen this morning."

"Ron, sleeping in on Christmas?" Fred asked. "Perish the thought! He's probably been up for hours, playing with all his new presents."

Molly rolled her eyes. "He's not a little boy anymore, Fred."

"You wouldn't know it to talk to him," Fred muttered.

George quickly turned his laugh into a cough at a look from his mother.

In an effort to hide his own laughter, Remus turned to look out the window. He noticed what looked like an owl coming toward the house. As it approached, he could see that it was carrying a package.

"Looks like someone is getting another Christmas present," he commented.

"O-o! Maybe Alicia got you something, after all, George!"

"Shut it, Fred," George said, giving his twin a warning look.

"What's this?" Molly asked, immediately pouncing upon this unexpected information about her son. "Who's Alicia, George?"

"No one," he said, flushing a deep shade of red.

"Fred?" she asked, turning to look at him.

"Come on, George, tell her!" Fred encouraged.

"Fred," he hissed. "I don't want –"

"Sorry, George, but this is for your mother," Remus said loudly as he took the package from the owl. "Let's just let her open it, shall we?"

"Yes, good idea," George said quickly. "What did you get, Mum?"

"I can't imagine whom it would be from," she said with a frown. "You children are all here, except Charlie . . . but I got a package from him two days ago . . ."

"Well, open it, then we'll all know," George said.

She nodded, and began pulling the wrapping away. While she was engrossed in her task, George shot Fred a murderous look.

"What?" Fred asked innocently.

"_You promised_," George hissed.

Fred laughed. "I don't understand why you want to keep it quiet. She's a great girl, and I know that –"

His words were cut off by a cry from Molly. Both Fred and George looked around, and Remus stepped over to her from his place by the stove.

"What is it, Mum?" Fred asked.

"It's – it's Percy's Christmas gift," she whispered, her eyes full of tears. "I sent it to him yesterday, hoping that he'd get it in time to wear today –" Her words ended as she began sobbing.

"He sent it back?" George asked in a horrified whisper.

"He's not worth it, Mum," Fred said, his eyes narrowing into a glare.

"No, he's not," George said, his own face set in an identical expression. "If he wasn't willing to stand by you and Dad – to stand with his _family_ – then we don't need him."

"Not a bit," Fred agreed. "We're better off without him."

Far from offering any comfort, their words only made their mother cry harder. Remus moved forward, pulling her into a comforting embrace.

"I'll take it from here, boys," he said quietly.

"Right," Fred agreed. "Come on, George. Let's go see if Ron and Harry are awake."

"Right."

The two boys hurried out of the room. Remus held Molly tightly, letting her sob against his shoulder. After several moments, when her spasm of tears was over, she stepped back shakily, and looked up into his face.

"I'm sorry, Remus," she said. "I shouldn't have gone to pieces like that."

"Molly, you don't ever have to apologize for your feelings," Remus said. "If what Percy has done hurt you, then you have every right to express that."

She sighed. "I can understand how the twins feel the way they do," she said. "They feel like their brother – their older brother, who, on some level, they've always looked up to – has betrayed them. If that's the way they feel, then so be it. But, Remus, I just can't feel that kind of anger. Not toward Percy. Not toward my little boy."

"Percy has made some bad decisions," Remus said slowly. "That doesn't necessarily make him a bad person."

"No, of course not," Molly said. "I know that he's still a good person. And I know that once everything – well, once everything explodes, he's going to see that we were right. I'm sure he'll feel badly about the way he's treated us, but I'll forgive him." She smiled shakily. "I already have. He's family, Remus, and family – family is the one thing that matters. It's the most important thing. You should always be able to depend on your family. And Percy will always be able to depend on me to love him."

Remus hugged her again. "Percy is very lucky to have you as his mother. I hope he knows that."

* * *

By the time Sirius and the children appeared, Molly was ready to be cheerful again. Christmas spirit seemed to permeate the house as she served them a delicious breakfast. The Weasley children were all talking animatedly about visiting their father later that day. Only Harry seemed concerned about the trip to St. Mungo's.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Sirius asked, taking in his preoccupied expression.

"Nothing," Harry said quickly.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who raised his eyebrows in reply.

"You're a terrible liar, Harry," Sirius sighed. "You obviously inherited your mother's sense of honesty rather than your father's ability to spin a believable cover story. Out with it. What's bothering you?"

Harry sighed. "It's just – what are you going to do while Professor Lupin and Mrs. Weasley take us to visit Mr. Weasley? You're not going to be alone on Christmas, are you?"

Sirius smiled and shook his head. "No, I'm not. My cousins are coming to visit."

"Tonks?" Harry asked.

"Yes, and her mother. Don't worry about me, Harry. Just go have fun with your friends."

Harry nodded with a smile. "All right. You have fun with your cousins."

"I certainly will."

Ron tapped Harry's arm, summoning him to resolve a dispute he was having with Hermione, ending his conversation with Sirius. Remus looked at Sirius with a bemused expression.

"He really does take on the woes of the world, doesn't he?" he asked quietly.

Sirius nodded. "Sound like someone else we knew?"

Remus nodded sadly. "His mother."

He sighed, thinking of the days and weeks that Lily had spent with him following his wife's death, trying desperately to help him get through the worst of his grief. He thought of her relentless pursuit of Death Eaters as a part of her work both with the Order and also with the _Daily Prophet_. He thought of all the times that Lily had suffered, either emotionally or physically, as she shared others' pain.

"She would be proud of him," Sirius said quietly.

"She would be terrified for him," Remus muttered. "She would know firsthand how much he could hurt himself by constantly worrying about others." He paused. "She would teach him how to recognize when to help and when to back away."

"You think that she would discourage him? Do you think that we should?"

Remus smiled sadly. "I think we'd be wasting our time if we tried. He's just as stubborn as she was – as James was. He'd never be convinced to go against his own convictions. Snape would say it's his father's arrogance shining through."

"Yes, that sounds like our friend Snivellus."

Remus nodded. "There's nothing we could say that would ever convince Harry that he should spend more time worrying about himself and less time worrying about others."

"Well, there are far worse character traits that he could have," Sirius said. "I, for one, am not going to worry about it. Lily's ability to feel for others was one of the things that I always admired most about her. If Harry has inherited that, then I say it's a good thing."

"I suppose you're right," Remus said slowly.

"You didn't appreciate the way that Lily would try to help others?"

"I think I appreciated it more than most," Remus said. "But Lily knew when to stop. She knew which people needed her, and which ones she could help. I just hope that Harry can do the same thing."

"Of course he can," Sirius said easily. "He's her son."

Remus nodded, but remained silent. He wondered if being Lily's son was enough to teach Harry how to deal with his desire to save the world. Maybe he did need his mother to teach him when to help and when to back away.

* * *

Sirius had just closed the door behind Remus, Moody and the Weasleys when two pops sounded in the front hall. He turned around with a grin to see Tonks and Andromeda beaming at him.

"Merry Christmas, Sirius!" Tonks whispered.

She stepped forward to hug him, but tripped. Sirius caught her as she careened toward the floor, but couldn't stop her from grabbing a chair on her way down. While she was safely held above the floor, the chair crashed against the hardwood. The horrific noise awoke Sirius's mother, who instantly began screaming.

"My God," Andromeda exclaimed. "Is that your mother?"

"Oh, yes," Sirius said grimly. He steadied Tonks on her feet, then lunged forward to silence the portrait. "Shall we get away from her before continuing this conversation?"

"Goodness," Andromeda said as they settled themselves in the kitchen, "can't you get rid of her?"

"Believe me, I've tried," Sirius sighed. "The woman knew enough to make sure I could never remove her from this house. It's almost as though she knew I'd be back one day."

Andromeda laughed. "I don't think that was something she _ever_ anticipated. That would be like saying my parents expected me to be home again after I married Ted."

Sirius laughed. "Remember the Christmas when you brought him for dinner?"

Andromeda laughed with him. "What was I thinking?" she exclaimed. "I should have known that it would blow up in our faces."

"Quite literally," Sirius grinned, thinking of the pudding that had exploded as the result of a misfired curse that had been intended for Andromeda. "I think you sort of wanted that, though."

"What, to have my hair singed by my father?"

"No, to irritate them."

She grinned a bit guiltily. "I suppose I did. Part of me wanted to see how they'd react." She paused and sighed. "The other part was hoping that they'd understand and accept Ted."

"That's asking a bit much," Sirius sighed. He looked at Tonks with a grin. "You're lucky you weren't there."

"I'd say Mum and Dad are lucky that I wasn't there," she grinned.

"Can you imagine the looks on their faces if you had shown up with a baby you had had out of wedlock?" Sirius laughed.

"Oh, I don't even want to consider it!" Andromeda laughed.

"Yeah, our family is a bit twisted," Sirius grinned.

"There's a reason I kept you away from all this, Nymphadora," Andromeda smiled.

"Oh, but she certainly missed some interesting scenes," Sirius said.

He and Andromeda launched into descriptions of their most memorable family Christmases. The stories had all three of them laughing hysterically, although with a bittersweet feeling. Family was, as Molly had said earlier, the most important thing. However, the three people gathered in the kitchen that day had come to realize that blood did not mean everything, but the bonds of friendship and love did.

* * *

Remus and Molly kept the children with Arthur for the entire day. Because it was so late when they finally made their way home, Molly insisted that the children go straight to bed. She followed them up to make sure that they were actually going to their own rooms, rather than one another's. Leaving the children in her more than capable hands, Remus made his way to the library to go over his notes from the last meeting again.

He had not done more than to take out his notes when he realized that he was in desperate need of a snack to help him think. He grabbed the parchment that he had written his notes on, and started down to the kitchen.

Reading as he walked, he wasn't paying attention to any potential obstacles in his path. He knew that the kitchen door was just ahead of him, and reached out to open it. His groping hand met with thin air.

Startled, he looked up just in time to realize that he was about to collide with Tonks, who was walking out of the kitchen. She apparently realized what was going to happen a split second later; she squealed as they made contact.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed as Remus reached down to help her up.

"It's okay," he said at once. He pulled her to her feet, but didn't immediately take his hands from her waist. "It's as much my fault as yours. I was reading, I wasn't watching where I was going –"

"Remus," she said quietly, cutting him off.

"Yes?"

She pointed up above their heads. "Mistletoe."

Remus's face colored. "Where did that come from?"

"Ginny and Hermione put it there."

"I suppose I could have guessed that one."

"Well," she said slowly, putting her arms on his shoulders.

"Tonks, I don't –"

His words were silenced as she leaned up to press her lips against his. Completely unprepared for her action, he sucked in his breath quickly through his nose. After a moment, he relaxed and kissed her back. The kiss deepened, surprising them both, but neither made any move to stop it. Rather, Remus pulled Tonks closer, and she pressed her body against his. Her hands moved from his shoulders to play in his hair, and his hands traveled up and down her back, coming to rest on her bottom.

Voices drifted to them, signaling that someone was coming down the stairs to the kitchen. They jumped apart, looking at one another in shock.

"Tonks, I . . ." Remus faltered, unsure of what to say.

"Remus," she breathed, still very flustered from the experience.

They stared at one another for a moment, completely at a loss for words. Neither knew what to do, but neither could stop looking into the other's eyes.

"Well, Moony, I didn't know you were here!" Sirius said as he and Andromeda came into view, breaking the spell. "We were just coming to find Tonks. She took a stack of dishes down for us ages go – I was afraid that she got lost."

"More like I found the floor," Tonks said. "I ran into Remus."

"So you stopped to chat?" Andromeda asked in confusion. "What does that have to do with the floor?"

"No, we literally ran into one another," Remus said. "We had a bit of a collision, and we were just picking ourselves up."

"Ah," Sirius said, giving Remus a look that said that he knew there was more to the story. "Well, Andromeda was actually just getting ready to leave, and, Dora, she wanted to say good bye to you."

"Oh," Tonks said. "I should be going, too. I need to get some rest. I have to be at work early tomorrow."

The women said good bye to Sirius and Remus, then Disapparated. As soon as they were gone, Sirius turned to Remus.

"What the hell just happened between you and Tonks?"

Remus flushed. "We told you. We ran into one another."

"I'm sorry, Remus, but I don't believe that sending Tonks flying to the floor is going to make you that flushed – or mess your hair up quite that much." His eyes were twinkling as a grin stretched across his face. "You snogged her, didn't you?"

Remus's face turned the color of a ripe tomato. "This was less horrible when we were in school."

"What? Snogging?"

"No, being interrogated about it."

"So you _did_ snog her!" Sirius said triumphantly.

Remus shrugged helplessly and looked up. "Mistletoe."

"Oh, no, my friend, you're not blaming this on holiday tradition. All mistletoe calls for is a kiss on the cheek – a chaste peck, if you will. Certainly _not_ what you two were doing."

"She kissed me!" Remus exclaimed a bit desperately. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Moony, Moony, I'm not blaming you!" Sirius exclaimed. "You have feelings for her! Of course you were shoving your tongue into her mouth. That's completely understandable! And, obviously, if she kissed you, she has feelings for you, too!"

Remus buried his face in his hands. "This isn't happening."

"Falling for someone isn't a bad thing, you know."

"It is when you're an old, unemployed werewolf, and the woman you've fallen for is a young, gorgeous Auror."

Sirius heaved a sigh. "Baby steps, Remus. We're going to lead you toward this relationship in baby steps."

* * *

Tonks knew that no stroke of luck could have been greater than the fact that her mother did not insist upon following her home. She made it to her flat quite alone, and promptly collapsed onto her sofa.

"What just happened?" she whispered to herself. She hugged her knees to her, and rested her chin on them. "What just happened?"

The wonderful, giddy feeling that rushed through her made her jump off the couch. She paced around her flat, going over every last moment of the kiss again and again. She couldn't stop grinning.

* * *

For better or worse, Remus and Tonks did not have a chance to discuss what had happened between them during the rest of the children's winter break. Remus had practically become a bodyguard for Harry and the Weasleys, escorting them every time they left the house. Tonks, on the other hand, was a slave to the Ministry over the holidays. Even the promise of an overtime-heavy paycheck was not enough to keep her from being bitter about the amount of time she spent at work. While Moody was accompanying Remus and the children around London, she was stuck with work assignments.

During the time between Christmas and the New Year, Olivia managed to find time to visit Sirius. She spoke with Remus ahead of time, and planned her visit during an afternoon when he had assured her that he would have Harry and the Weasleys away.

She found Sirius in the kitchen, cleaning up after lunch. She held her breath for a moment as she watched him work, then finally stepped forward.

"Need some help?"

Sirius jumped and turned around. "Liv!" he exclaimed.

He was across the room in a matter of seconds, pulling her in a passionate kiss. She giggled as he released her.

"I thought Moody trained you better than to jump when someone came up behind you."

"Those days were long ago," he sighed. He kissed her again. "I didn't know you were coming today!"

"It's your Christmas surprise," she grinned. "Do you like it?"

"Like it?" He kissed her deeply. "What do you think?"

She glanced around the room. "That I'd rather discuss this in your bedroom."

"You've got it," Sirius said, sweeping her into his arms to carry her upstairs.

* * *

By the time Remus, Molly and the children returned, Sirius and Olivia were in the sitting room, talking quietly. The sounds of the children's voices reached them first. Olivia looked at Sirius regretfully.

"I should go."

"You can stay longer, if you'd like," he said. "They won't bite, I promise."

She shook her head. "Those poor kids have enough to worry about without adding me to the mix. I'll meet them another time."

"Well, at least say hello to Remus."

"All right."

They walked out of the sitting room and nearly collided with Harry and Ron, who were on their way to the kitchen.

"Hi, Sirius," Harry said.

"Hi, Harry, Ron," Sirius replied. "You two don't know where Remus is, do you?"

"I think he was headed to the library," Harry said. "Right, Ron?"

"Yeah, he wanted to find some book that Hermione needed for her homework." Ron rolled his eyes. "She already has a foot more than she needs on that goblin essay, mind. She just wants to add a bit more to 'round it out.'"

Sirius laughed. "That sounds like Hermione. Thanks, guys. I'll go look for him there."

The boys continued on their way, and Sirius began walking in the opposite direction. He had only taken about five steps when he realized that Olivia wasn't beside him. He turned to see her still rooted to her spot in the sitting room doorway.

"Hey," he said, walking back to her. "Are you all right?"

Her eyes were full of tears as she replied. "That was Harry?" She swallowed hard. "James and Lily's Harry?"

"Yeah," Sirius said softly. "Yeah, that's him."

Olivia looked at him for a moment. Then, almost as if it was the last thing she expected to happen, she began to sob. The sobs wracked her frame, and she sank down to the floor.

"Hey, Liv, don't," Sirius said sitting down next to her. "Don't. It's all okay. You don't have to cry."

He pulled her close, letting her sob against him. She grabbed his robes, twisting her hands in them as she cried.

"Oh, Sirius," she said when she finally had herself under control. "I'm sorry. I never thought I'd react like that. I never thought – I never dreamed –" The tears welled up in her eyes again. "He really, truly is just like James, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Sirius said a bit hoarsely, "yeah, he is."

"It's amazing. I mean, I knew what he looked like when he was a baby, but to see him now – when he's an age that I remember James being . . ."

"I know," Sirius whispered. "It's a bit scary, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she agreed quietly. She shook her head. "And those eyes . . . Lily's eyes . . ."

Sirius nodded, and kissed her head. "Do you want to meet him? I mean, I don't think he even saw you standing there. We could go find him and introduce you. I'm sure he'd love to meet his mother's flat mate."

She shook her head, causing a tear to fall. "No, Sirius, I can't."

"You can't?"

"I went to pieces just _seeing_ him," she said. "I can't meet him. Not yet. I'm just not ready."

"But you'll meet him someday?"

"Of course."

"Good," Sirius grinned, kissing her temple again. "I can't wait to be the one to introduce you to him."


	19. Awkward Moments

A/N: I am so, so, so incredibly sorry about the wait! For some reason, this chapter was terribly hard to write. I think I rewrote every section individually at least once. Such a mess. Hopefully, the next one will be easier (and quicker)!

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Awkward Moments

"Arthur will be released today," Molly said to Sirius as he walked into the kitchen. "I was thinking of having a special dinner tonight for him. What do you think?"

"I think that would be great," Sirius smiled. "The kids will want to celebrate their dad's recovery, I'm sure."

"We all do," Molly said with a happy sigh. "I can't believe how long they've kept him."

"But he's going to be fine," Sirius said encouragingly, sitting down with her at the table.

"No thanks to his own interference," she said a bit harshly. "Stitches! I still can't understand what he was thinking!"

Sirius grinned. "Well, it turned out all right in the end."

Molly shook her head. "That man and his fascination with Muggles will be the death of me."

"I think it's a good thing," Sirius said quietly.

"Oh, I'm not trying to say that it's a problem, generally speaking . . . but, aside from this incident with the stitches, there was the car, and –"

"But look at what it's taught your children," Sirius interrupted.

"My children?" Molly frowned.

Sirius nodded. "Molly, I didn't know that 'Mudblood' was an insult until I went to Hogwarts. I'll never forget the first time I used it in front of James, Remus and Peter. They were shocked. They were the ones who taught me that it's wrong to say things like that, Molly. Not my family. My friends were the ones who showed me that purity of blood doesn't matter and that Muggles aren't inferior to wizards, they just don't do things the same ways we do." He paused. "I think you should be glad that Arthur is the way he is. He's taught your children far more about tolerance and acceptance of others than my father ever taught me."

"Sirius – I never thought –"

He shook his head and waved his hand as if to wave off her comment. "Most people don't think about it. Just – just be glad that your children have you and Arthur for parents. You've raised some amazing children, Molly. You should be proud of them – and of yourselves."

Tears stood in her eyes. "I think they're pretty special, too."

The door to the kitchen opened, and they both looked up, Molly blinking back her tears. Snape walked into the room, looking bored and annoyed at the same time. Molly and Sirius exchanged a look of surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked a bit rudely. "We don't have a meeting today."

"I've come to talk to Potter," Snape replied.

"To Harry?" Sirius asked. "What do you want with him? Don't you have enough opportunities to torment him during class?"

"Believe me, Black, if it were any choice of my own, I would not be here to see him." He pulled a piece of parchment from his robes and slid it across the table. "The Headmaster has asked me to teach him Occlumency. He explains everything here – I'm sure he used small words with you and your lack of ability to comprehend his meaning in mind."

"I'll be sure to thank him," Sirius said sarcastically.

He skimmed over the brief missive from Dumbledore. The letter stated that the headmaster had, indeed, managed to obtain Snape's agreement to teach Harry Occlumency. Snape was visiting to talk to Harry privately, to explain the lessons, their urgency and their secrecy to him.

"Very well," Sirius said at last. "I'll call him."

"Let me," Molly said, standing to her feet. "I need to go collect my own children to get them ready for Arthur's arrival."

"Right," Sirius agreed.

Molly hurried from the room, and Snape turned to Sirius with a sneer.

"I suppose you'll be leaving, then?"

"Where exactly do you expect me to go?" Sirius asked.

"Well, certainly not outside the house," Snape replied a bit smugly. "But, as you can see, Dumbledore has asked that I speak to Potter _privately_. That, Black, means alone. It means that Potter and I should be the only two people in the room. We hardly need an audience."

"I will not leave you alone with Harry," Sirius said harshly.

"What exactly do you think might happen to him if you do?"

"I've known you for too many years to even try to venture a guess."

Snape rolled his eyes as though bored. "Do you really think I would harm _Harry Potter_? The savior of the wizarding world? Dumbledore's favorite student? Perhaps you _have_ been in this house too long, Black. You seem to be losing your mind."

"Do I think you would hex him? No," Sirius said. "But I don't even want to think of the psychological damage you would inflict upon him." He paused, thinking of what Remus often said to him. "He's just a child, Snape."

"I child with more arrogance and less respect for his elders than most that I've taught," Snape shot back. "He's quite like a few classmates of mine in that regard."

Sirius looked as though he would have loved nothing more than to hex Snape into a million pieces. He opened his mouth to reply, but was silenced by the sound of Harry's footsteps coming down the hall.

"You'll be going, then?" Snape asked.

"I will not," Sirius said fiercely.

"Defy Dumbledore, then," Snape taunted. "I knew you'd have to break and go against his orders sometime. Such . . . _bravery_."

The door opened, and both men averted their eyes as Harry walked into the room. Despite the interruption, they both knew that the conversation was far from over.

* * *

Remus walked down the hall as quietly as possible, hoping to slip away before anyone saw him. In reality, he had never intended to come to Grimmauld Place today. He had planned to spend the entire day and evening with his parents. Even though he would be "relaxing" away from the Order, he still needed to get some work done. He wanted to review his maps of the werewolf colony, but had realized that morning that he had left them at headquarters. He had no choice to return, but wanted to slip in and out of the house undetected.

His true goal was to be gone before he was spotted by one of the Weasley children. He knew that Arthur was being released and that Molly was sure to have a celebration planned, and was certain that the children would want him to be there. However, he knew that he could not leave his parents again after promising to spend time with them. Unable to face disappointing one of the children, he had every intention of leaving before they knew he had been there.

"Remus!"

He stopped dead at the sound of her voice. This was one person that he didn't mind finding him. He turned slowly, feeling an uncharacteristic grin spread across his face. "Hello, Tonks."

She, too, was grinning brightly as she caught up with him. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"I know," he said. "We've both been busy."

"That's true," she agreed.

Indeed, the last time Remus had seen Tonks had been on Christmas, the day they had had their encounter under the mistletoe. As much as he hated to admit it, the mere memory of that moment was enough to make his heart beat faster. But – had it meant as much to her as it had to him? He knew that the only way to find out was to talk to her about it. Unfortunately, he was terrified to bring it up. He was afraid that she would tell him that it had been a lovely moment, but that she wasn't interested. For all that he had said to Sirius about not wanting to enter into a relationship with her, he knew that he would be horribly disappointed to learn that she didn't think of him as anything other than a friend.

As Remus was lost in his thoughts, a rather awkward silence fell, something that had never happened between them in the past. Remus looked at Tonks for a moment, wondering if she would be the one to break it. She looked at him quizzically, but did not speak as the seconds became an eternity. Finally, he decided to take the situation into his own hands.

"Listen, I think we need to talk," he said without preamble. "I was on my way to the library. Will you come with me so we can talk?"

"Sure," she said. She bit her lip nervously. "What exactly do you want to talk about?"

He looked at her as though wondering if she were completely sane. "What happened between us on Christmas."

She nodded, still chewing her lip nervously. "We do need to talk about that."

"What did you think I was talking about?" he asked in confusion.

"No – that's what I thought, too – I just was afraid that you were – I don't know." She sighed. "I'm babbling. Let's just have this conversation before I get us both completely confused."

Remus smiled. "I don't know about you, but I feel pretty confused already."

"Yeah," she said quietly.

Remus looked at her, hoping to read something in her eyes, but she looked away. "Well, let's wait until we get to the library to start, shall we? I don't want to be overheard."

"Good idea," she agreed.

They walked through the house in silence. Remus didn't dare to look at her, fearing what he might see in her face. Was she really that horrified by the thought of kissing him? He knew that most girls didn't want to kiss a werewolf, but it wasn't as if she hadn't known about his condition when she grabbed him. And, from somewhere in the back of his mind came the unbidden thought . . .

_Laura never minded kissing a werewolf._

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he opened the library door, holding it so that she could pass ahead of him. She murmured her thanks as she walked into the room. Lost in his rather depressed thoughts, Remus didn't realize she had stopped walking until he ran into her. He reached out instinctively to grab her before she could fall, and she turned to him with a grateful smile. Remus returned the smile, then looked past her to see Sirius seated by the fire. He looked up at them and attempted to smile.

"Hey, Moony. Hi, Tonks."

"Sirius, I didn't know you'd be in here," Remus said.

Sirius gave another half-hearted smile. "I'm sorry. Were you two looking for a place to snog in peace?"

Tonks's face turned a tomato red that matched her hair. "Actually, I was just leaving," she said quickly. "Remus, can we continue this later?"

"Sure," he said, wondering how much "later" that would be.

"Great," she said. She leaned up to kiss his cheek, then practically ran out of the room.

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked.

Remus slowly moved his fingers up to touch the place she had kissed on his cheek. "We were going to talk about what happened on Christmas."

"Oh," Sirius said irritably.

"What's got you in such a mood?" Remus asked, walking fully into the room.

"Snape," Sirius said, poking at the fire.

"Snape?" Remus repeated. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"He was here a bit ago."

"Why?" Remus asked. "The man hardly ever even comes to meetings. Why would he come on a day when nothing's happening?"

"He wanted to talk to Harry."

"To Harry?"

"Yes. About Occlumency."

"He's agreed to teach him, then?" Remus asked, sitting down across from his friend.

"So it would appear."

"I wonder how Dumbledore managed that little miracle."

"I rather wish he hadn't," Sirius said savagely.

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Sirius, we agreed that this is for the best. Harry may not like Snape, but he's one of the best there is when it comes to Occlumency. He's already a teacher, so he knows how to convey information to students. And, he's at Hogwarts, so there's no need to come up with elaborate cover stories when he meets with Harry. It's perfect."

"Aside from the fact that Harry hates him."

"We all have to work with people we dislike," Remus said.

"And he hates Harry."

"Don't you think that's going a bit far?'

"No," Sirius said bluntly. "You didn't hear him, Remus. You didn't hear what he said about how much Harry reminds him of James. You didn't hear the way he reacted to the past. You – you know what it was like back then. You know how much he hated James and I. He's taking that hatred for James out on Harry now. I don't like it, Moony. I don't know the idea of him spending all this extra time alone with Harry."

"Don't you think your own feelings about Severus might be playing a rather large role in your opinion?"

"Well, I can tell you right now that he hasn't changed a bit since we were students. You should have heard the things he said to me!"

"Did Harry hear them?" Remus asked quietly.

Sirius nodded. "Some."

"So Harry now knows of your animosity toward him?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

Remus sighed. "Well, that doesn't help matters."

"What do you mean? You told him before that we didn't get along with Snape when we went to Hogwarts together."

"Yes, but that only affirmed what he already knew. Dumbledore had told him before that James and Snape didn't get along. But this – this showed him firsthand the bitter anger that still exists between the two of you."

"I don't see your point."

Remus sighed again. "Sirius, it's as though you've given him permission to hate Snape."

"But he already does hate him."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is as bad as talking to a fourth year."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." He paused for a moment. "Are we in agreement that Harry needs to learn Occlumency?"

"Of course. It's the most important thing for him right now."

"And are we in agreement that he should learn it from a master of the art?"

"That only makes sense."

"And are we in agreement that he should do this in the manner that provokes the least number of questions?"

"Yes."

"Then, the logical thing is for Snape to teach him."

Sirius looked at him for a long moment. "Moony, I know that in my head. I just have a hard time convincing my emotions that it's true."

Remus smiled slightly. "Well, try harder. You have to set a good example for Harry."

"I know. Harry is the most important thing. He has been since the day he was born."

"I know," Remus agreed quietly.

Sirius looked into the fire for a moment, then back at Remus. "I'm sorry that I interrupted you and Tonks."

"That's all right," Remus replied. "We'll talk eventually."

* * *

"Tonks, I have a mission for you."

Tonks nodded as Moody closed her office door behind himself. He crossed the room to sit down across the desk from her. "Is Kingsley coming, too?" she asked.

"No," Moody replied. "I want you and Lupin to take Harry, the Granger girl and the Weasleys back to Hogwarts tomorrow."

Tonks struggled to keep the color from rising in her cheeks. She still hadn't managed to talk to Remus about what had happened between them on Christmas, but the mention of his name was enough to make her feel weak in the knees.

"Is that a problem?" Moody asked when she didn't immediately respond.

"Of course not," she said quickly. "I'm off tomorrow."

"Exactly," Moody replied. "I was going to go myself, but Dumbledore asked me to – well, I'll be otherwise employed tomorrow." He looked at her closely. "Do you think that you and Lupin can handle the kids?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I think we can. He's a teacher, and I – well, I'm trained for this sort of thing."

"Hm," Moody said. "Just make sure you two keep your hands to yourselves, all right?"

Tonks couldn't keep her emotions in check this time. Her mouth fell open in horror. "What did you say?"

"You heard me," Moody said, lifting himself to his feet. "Make sure you take my advice, Tonks."

She felt as though she had been struck dumb. She merely stared after him wide-eyed as he crossed to leave the room. The door opened before Moody had reached it, and Kingsley walked into the office.

"Hi, Moody," he said cheerfully. "Were you looking for me?"

"No, I found the one I was looking for," he said. "I'll see you, Shacklebolt. Tonks – remember what I said."

As the door closed behind Moody, Kingsley turned to see Tonks with her face buried in her hands.

"What was that all about?"

"He just told me that Remus and I are responsible for getting Harry, Hermione and the Weasley kids back to school tomorrow."

"And this is a cause for severe embarrassment? I'm sorry, Tonks, but I haven't seen your face that color of red since – well, ever."

She grabbed a quill and threw it at him. "What did you tell him?" she yelled.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, ducking out of the way of the quill.

"He just told me to make sure that Remus and I keep our hands to ourselves when we take the kids to Hogwarts!"

Kingsley laughed. "Well, it's good advice."

"_King_!"

"I'm sorry," he said, trying to stop laughing. "Come on, Tonks, do you honestly think I would tell _Moody_ of all people about you and Remus? Aside from the obvious ick factor of Moody knowing something like that about you, it's career suicide – he hates it when the Aurors have relationships. You're the best partner I've ever had. There's no way I'd do anything to jeopardize your position."

She smiled at the compliment. "Then how did he find out? You're the only person I told."

"Do you think that Remus told him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Remus hasn't even discussed it with _me_. If he told anyone, I'm sure it was Sirius."

"Maybe Sirius told him."

"Sirius knows Moody too well to do something like that."

"Well, look, love, I don't have a clue how he found out." He paused. "Maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe he hasn't heard anything from anyone. Maybe he's just going on observation."

"Observation?"

"Yeah. Come on, Tonks. Moody was an Auror for decades – one of the best Aurors the Ministry ever had. He's trained to look at things. You know that. Maybe he's just seen you and Remus together and noticed the sparks."

"Sparks?"

Kingsley smiled tolerantly. "Listen, darling, I don't mean to burst your bubble of secrecy here, but it's pretty obvious that you and Remus are interested in one another. Anyone who's seen you together knows, I'm sure."

Tonks face turned even redder as she buried it in her hands again. "Oh, God, this is so embarrassing."

"What? The fact that everyone in the Order pretty much knows how you feel about a certain former professor?"

"Yeah, that would be it."

Kingsley grinned. "Ah, cheer up. I don't think anyone has a problem with it."

"Oh, yes, that makes me feel _so_ much better."

"He's a great guy, Tonks. You shouldn't be embarrassed to have a crush on him."

"I'm just embarrassed that everyone knows about it."

His grin widened. "Well, let's say everything worked out for you. Would you be embarrassed to have everyone know that you were dating him?"

"Of course not – but then it would be mutual attraction."

"Tonks –"

"No, King, I'm seriously worried about this," she said, cutting him off. "Why do you think that I haven't tried harder to make time to talk about our Christmas kiss with him? I just can't face the fact that he might not feel the same way about me as I do about him."

Kingsley looked at her in surprise. "Are you telling me that you're afraid of rejection? You're afraid that Remus will reject you?"

Tonks sighed. "He's so much older, King. I'm sure he just sees me as a little girl – or, maybe even worse, as a little sister."

"I really don't think that's the case, Tonks."

"I don't know. I mean, he's never been anything but a perfect gentleman around me. He's never given any indication that he cares about me as more than a friend and colleague."

"Except for the fact that he's always talking to you after meetings –"

"Hence the _friend and colleague_," she interrupted.

"_And_ the fact that he's kissed you _twice_ now," Kingsley finished as though she hadn't spoken.

"Well, to be fair, I kissed him the second time."

"But he kissed back. He could have pulled away and shoved you off him, but he didn't."

She sighed. "I wish there was some way I could be sure."

"Where is this lack of confidence coming from? Believe me, sweetheart, you can be sure."

She looked at him hopefully. "Do you really think so?"

Kingsley smiled. "Aside from all the other evidence I've presented, I've seen the way he looks at you. I _know_ so."

She smiled. "Well, at least I have your vote of confidence." Her smile faded. "But all this still does nothing to help the fact that Moody knows."

"Ah, cheer up," Kingsley grinned. "I think that retirement means that he doesn't have the power to fire Aurors anymore."

She wrinkled her nose, then threw another quill at him.

* * *

Moody had instructed Tonks to be at headquarters by eight the next morning. Determined to get as much sleep as possible, she decided to skip breakfast. After showering and dressing, she Apparated to the house.

Molly was the first person she encountered; she was on her way up the stairs to wake the children. She gave Tonks a bright smile when she saw her.

"Good morning, dear," she said. "If you're hungry, go ahead down to the kitchen and have some breakfast."

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks replied, suddenly realizing that she was starving.

"I'm just going to wake the children," Molly said. "Sirius is probably down there eating – he wanted to be up in time to see the children off. If you need anything, I can get it for you when I come back downstairs."

"I'm capable of feeding myself," Tonks laughed.

Molly smiled and touched her cheek. "I'm used to boys," she said. "They take a different sort of mothering."

They separated, Molly going upstairs to wake the children, and Tonks going downstairs to have breakfast. She had to admit to feeling rather warm and fuzzy after Molly's last comment. Although her own mother fussed over her far too much for her liking, she rather enjoyed Molly taking the time to mother her.

She walked into the kitchen and stopped in surprise. It wasn't Sirius who sat at the table, but Remus.

"Good morning," she said a bit hesitantly.

"Tonks!" Remus said cheerfully. "Good morning. How are you?"

She finally found herself capable of movement again, and made her way across the room to pour a cup of coffee. "I'm fine. You?"

"Fine," he repeated. "Moody said that you would be on hand to take the kids back to school."

She nodded. "Harry still needs Auror protection."

Remus sighed. "After all that's happened, I think they all do."

"I'm glad you're going," she said, hoping to take some of the heaviness out of the mission ahead of them. "I'm going to need someone used to dealing with teenagers along to help."

He laughed. "You're great with the kids, Tonks. Don't sell yourself short."

She smiled as she sat down. "They're great kids."

Remus glanced toward the door, then back at her. "Do you think we should try now?"

"Try what?" she asked in complete confusion.

"Try to talk about – about Christmas."

She felt the nervousness flood her entire being at the thought. "We still have some time before the kids come downstairs," she said slowly.

"Are you sure?"

"Molly was just going to wake them when I came in."

"All right, we should be good, then," he said.

Watching him, Tonks realized that he was as nervous as she was. He folded and unfolded his hands, and licked his lips several times. Finally, he spoke.

"I guess we should start with . . ." He paused and drew a deep breath. "Tonks, did that kiss mean anything to you?"

She wanted to kick him. He had put her on the spot and asked her to confess her feelings without admitting any of his own. It was so unfair of him to do that! She bit her lip and hesitated, trying to decide the best response to give. Finally, she took a deep breath of her own.

"I never kiss without meaning it," she said softly. "You?"

He bit his lip in an action that mirrored her own before answering in a voice just above a whisper, "Neither do I."

Tonks felt completely elated. He had all but admitted that he had feelings for her. Now, if she could only get him to say the words . . .

The kitchen door opened, and the children walked in. Tonks and Remus looked at each other, both acknowledging silently that their conversation had to be shelved – again.

_But not for long this time_, Tonks vowed silently. _I won't let this wait forever._


	20. Taking a Stand

A/N: Does it even mean anything for me to say that I'm sorry anymore? For what it's worth, I am. I haven't forgotten this story or given up on it, I've just been really busy with "real life." I'm going to try to do better, I promise! And, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that I'm only nine weeks away from the end of the school year; I'm sure I'll be able to write more over the summer!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Taking a Stand

Tonks had never been so frustrated in all her life. It was as if the entire universe were conspiring against her.

Remus had been on the verge of admitting that he had feelings for her. They had been so close! Then Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys had intervened, finishing their conversation long before it should have ended. Though far shorter than it should have been, that moment had given her hope. She could hardly wait to have a proper conversation with Remus.

However, as soon as they had left their teenage charges at Hogwarts, they had received a dire message ordering them back to headquarters. They had instantly Disapparated without even saying goodbye, let alone making plans for their next conversation.

Upon reaching headquarters, they both had received new orders that sent them on missions – separate missions – that took them, in Tonks's opinion, as far away from one another as possible. Remus had been sent back into that horrid werewolf colony, and Tonks had been sent to work. Apparently, she had been called in on her day off. Kingsley had covered for her – he had told Scrimgeour that she was off for a romantic evening with her boyfriend that had not yet ended. Fortunately, Scrimgeour abhorred any personal conversation at work, and did not ask either Kingsley or Tonks for further information.

"You could have just told him that I was with my mother or something," Tonks said when Kingsley admitted what he had told their superior.

He shrugged and smiled in the least-apologetic way possible. "It was the first thing that I could think of! Besides, I knew he'd never ask for more information – you know how he is about bringing our personal lives into work."

"You'd just better hope that story doesn't get back to Moody," she said. "I'm telling you right now that if it does, _you'll_ be the one explaining to Moody that I do _not_ have a boyfriend and therefore was _not_ spending time with him the night before I had to take the kids back to school."

"He already knows all that," Kingsley said. "Even if he did hear that rumor, he'd never believe it. He knows where you were this morning."

"Still . . ."

Kingsley smiled. "Let's just get to work, shall we?"

"Fine," Tonks sighed. "But, for future reference –"

"Yeah, yeah, don't tell Scrimmy that you have a boyfriend. I've got it."

"Good."

Kingsley looked at her closely for a moment. "What's wrong, Tonks?"

"I don't like the idea of you spreading false rumors about me."

He shook his head. "You don't care what people think about you. You never have. Tell me what's got you so worked up, or we're not going on our mission."

"You'd never defy Scrimgeour like that."

"Wouldn't I?" he asked. "Tonks, unless you're going to be able to devote one hundred percent of your mental powers to this, we're going to be useless. I'd rather they send someone else out into the field then have the two of us go out and fail."

She looked at him wordlessly, knowing that he was right.

"I'll take your silence for understanding that I'm making complete sense," he said. "Now, either you tell me what's going on and get it off your chest, or I'm going to go to Scrimmy right now to tell him to find another team."

"All right," she said peevishly. "You win. I'll tell you all the gory details."

"Good," Kingsley smiled, settling back against the edge of his desk.

Tonks rolled her eyes, knowing that he was thrilled to get all her news and gossip. "Remus and I talked."

Kingsley's eyes rounded. "And?"

She sighed. "The kids came in and ruined the moment."

"What moment?"

"Well, he asked if the kiss meant anything to me."

"And you said . . .?"

"I said that I don't kiss without meaning it."

"Whoa," Kingsley said. "Good answer."

"Thanks."

"And what did he say?"

"He said that he doesn't kiss without meaning it, either."

"Tonks! This is brilliant!" Kingsley exclaimed. "Do you realize what you've both all but admitted to one another?"

"Yeah, King, I know what it could mean – but we never got that far."

"What do you mean?"

"The kids came in, and we had to end the conversation."

"But you picked it back up again, right?"

"We didn't have a chance!" she wailed, pacing around the room. "We got the kids to Hogwarts, then we were both summoned back to headquarters. From there, I was called here and Remus was sent back to the werewolf colony."

"Oh," Kingsley said, deflating in a moment. "How long will he be there?"

"I don't know. No one ever tells me anything." She came to a stop beside Kingsley and leaned up against his desk with him.

"Sirius would probably know. You could ask him."

She shook her head. "Sirius seemed a bit off today. I think that saying goodbye to Harry really got to him. I sort of want to leave him alone for a bit so he can deal with everything."

"So you're back to waiting?"

"So I'm back to waiting," she agreed glumly.

"Hey," Kingsley said, nudging her shoulder with his, "this is a good thing, Tonks. Now you know that he's into you."

"Yeah, I guess there's that."

"I'd say that's pretty huge, sweetheart."

She gave him a mischievous grin. "So says the man who was _so sure_ that Remus was into me before we had any of this information."

Kingsley grinned back. "Well, now we have proof that I was right."

* * *

Miserable.

Remus was utterly miserable.

He had all but admitted his feelings to Tonks. Granted, she had admitted the same to him. However, far from making him feel better, he thought that knowing how she felt actually made him feel worse.

She couldn't love him. She just couldn't. She was merely infatuated with him – he was older, he had been though this experience of a war against Voldemort before, he was her cousin's best friend . . . there were plenty of reasons for an infatuation. But, an infatuation was nothing more than a silly, schoolgirl crush. It wasn't something that he could seize and nurture into a relationship. It would fade away in time, leaving Tonks free to fall in love and Remus free to nurse his broken heart.

No, he couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't get close enough to her to let her break his heart when she walked way. He'd just walk away first.

After all, _she_ wouldn't have to nurse a broken heart. She was in the middle of an infatuation. Once it had run its course, she would forget all about him. That was how infatuations worked. She would have all the romantic feelings in the world for him, but when they ended, she wouldn't be all that upset. Infatuations were easy to get over. Lost loves, on the other hand, could take a lifetime to recover from. He knew that all too well.

She was fortunate, really, that she was just infatuated with him.

Wasn't she?

* * *

By the time Remus returned to headquarters, he was firmly convinced that staying away from Tonks was the appropriate course of action. He had reasoned it all out in his mind, and was sure that by not allowing himself to get close enough to her to fall in love, he was saving them both from a lifetime of heartache. 

Part of him wanted to confide his new attitude in Sirius, but he knew, as soon as he walked through the doors of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, that he couldn't. Sirius would try to talk him out of it, and he knew that he couldn't change his mind. This was for the best. It was the way things had to be.

Confident in his new mindset, Remus walked quietly through the house, looking for Sirius. Even if he didn't want to discuss his love life, he was still eager to talk to his friend. After looking into one empty room after the other, he finally found Sirius in the attic with Buckbeak.

"Hello," he said as he entered the dark space. "What are you doing up here?"

"Keeping Buckbeak company," Sirius said listlessly. "You're later than I expected."

Remus nodded. "It took some time for me to find a safe path to exit. Greyback was home, and it was like he was everywhere. I didn't want to chance running into him, even with the invisibility cloak."

Sirius nodded, but remained silent.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked.

"I'm bored," Sirius said shortly.

"Are you sure that's all that's wrong?" Remus asked, looking at him closely.

"What else _could_ be wrong?" Sirius asked sarcastically. "I mean, I'm trapped in this house all the bloody time. How could anything possibly go wrong? I don't have enough contact with others for anything to go wrong!"

Internally, Remus screamed. Sirius was back to being the moody, unreasonable man that only James had been able to truly help. It had always been James who could best reach Sirius. Remus had never been able to talk to either of them the way that they could talk to one another.

For some reason, Remus's mind transported him back to second year, when Sirius's brother had been Sorted into Slytherin. Remus could remember the look on Sirius's face as he raged against his family, the Slytherins and even the Sorting Hat. He was sure that if he closed his eyes, he would be able to see the hangings that Sirius had pulled closed around his bed to shut out the world, the broken objects on the dormitory floor that he had thrown in a fit of anger and looks on James's and Peter's faces as they, too, tried to help their friend. That had been the one time that it had been Remus, not James, who had been able to reach Sirius. He had been able to help him all those years ago. Maybe, he could do it again.

"Okay," Remus said slowly, coming back to the present. "You're not going to tell me what's wrong?"

"I already told you that _nothing's wrong_."

"Great," Remus said, wondering if perhaps some reverse psychology would work. "I'm glad to hear that you're fine, then."

"Don't patronize me, Remus."

Something in that statement triggered a reaction within Remus. He had been doing this – _dealing_ with this – for too long. He had truly reached the end of his endurance with Sirius, his mood swings and his temper tantrums. He was sure that Sirius had been more reasonable and easier to deal with as a teenager than he was as an adult.

"I'm sorry to have asked," he snapped. "In the future, I'll just callously wait for you to come to me when something is bothering you. I won't bother trying to be a good friend."

With that, Remus spun around and stalked out of the attic.

By the time he had made his way down to the kitchen, Remus had worked himself into a nearly towering rage over Sirius's attitude. He pushed the door open rather roughly, feeling oddly satisfied as it slammed against the wall. 

"What's got you so worked up?"

Remus jumped at the sound of her voice. "I didn't think anyone would be down here."

"Sorry," Tonks apologized. "I actually came looking for Moody. Someone told me that he might be here."

"I haven't seen him," Remus said considerably more rudely than he had intended.

Tonks's eyes widened at his tone. "Did you want to be alone?"

"No, not particularly," Remus said. "I just don't want to be alone with Sirius."

Tonks frowned, looking rather surprised. "Why? What's wrong with Sirius?"

"What isn't?" Remus snapped. Immediately realizing that she didn't deserve to be yelled at like that, he sighed, and ran his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't take this out on you. It's not your fault that Sirius is in a mood."

Tonks sighed and sat down at the table. "He is rather moody, isn't he?"

Remus sat down with her and smiled slightly. "James would say that he's worse than a bloody woman." He smiled again. "Not that I in any way mean that as a reference to you, of course."

"Oh, of course," she smiled. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "I wish there was something I could do to help him. It can't be easy being locked up in here all the time – especially considering his past experiences in this house."

"I know," Remus said, truly beginning to feel awful about himself. "I know that I should try to be more patient and understanding with him, and that I should never have yelled at him like I just did. I know that he's going through far more than any of the rest of us with all this. It's just so hard sometimes to constantly have to do battle with Voldemort and the Death Eaters _and_ with Sirius."

"Do you think that perhaps a visit would help him?"

Remus shrugged. "It might. He's up in attic if you want to go talk to him."

"No, I didn't mean a visit from me," Tonks smiled. "I meant from my mother."

"Oh!" Remus exclaimed, his face brightening considerably. "Tonks, that's a great idea! I think it would do him a world of good to see Andromeda again."

She grinned. "I think Mum would be pretty excited to see him, too."

"When do you think she'll be able to come?"

"I don't know," she said thoughtfully. "When do you think would be a good time?"

"The sooner the better," Remus replied.

She looked at him, realizing how utterly desperate he was to help his friend. And, even though she wanted more than anything to stay and talk to him about their Christmas kiss, she knew that helping Sirius was, at least for the moment, more important.

"Tell you what," she said, "I'll go talk to her right now. I'll see how soon I can get her here."

Remus beamed. "That's brilliant, Tonks. Thanks so much."

She stood to her feet, and started to walk toward the door. "You know," she said, pausing before leaving the room, "I think a visit from Olivia might help, too."

Remus shook his head. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Sometimes two heads are better than one," she shrugged. "I'll see you soon, Remus."

* * *

Remus Disapparated almost immediately after Tonks left. He was sure that there was no time to waste.

He arrived in Olivia's house just as she was starting to make dinner. She jumped a mile when he Apparated into her kitchen.

"Remus!" she exclaimed. "Are you trying to scare me to death?"

He laughed. "No, not exactly." He crossed to kiss her cheek. "How are you, darling?"

"I'm fine," she said. "What brings you all the way to France?"

"Would you believe me if I said that I just missed you and wanted to see you?"

She surveyed him critically for a moment. "Not a chance," she said. "What's wrong?"

He smiled. "You know me too well."

"I've known you too long," she smiled. "Out with it. Tell me what's the matter."

"Sirius," he sighed.

"Sirius? What about him?"

"Well, he's not allowed out of the house."

"That's not exactly news," Olivia frowned.

"Would you let me talk?" Remus smiled.

"Sorry, Teacher," she laughed. "I take it Sirius isn't doing well with the forced confinement?"

"No, he's not," Remus said. "To someone like Sirius, being locked up like that – especially in that particular house – is probably the worst torture possible. He's been inside the house forever, Harry's gone, and now he's sinking down into this horrible, moody depression."

"Oh, no," she sighed, remembering fits of Sirius's anger that she had endured in the past. "Is he breaking things?"

"He's not exactly angry right now," Remus said slowly. "I think he's beyond anger, and it's actually a bit scary to me. I don't know how to help him, Liv."

"Can I see him?" she asked. "I mean, Remus, I can give you all the advice in the world, but it won't be the same as actually seeing him and talking to him myself."

For the second time that day, his face broke into a beaming grin. "I'm so glad to hear you say that. Now I don't have to worry about convincing you to come to London."

She grinned back. "Let me check my schedule. I'll come as soon as I can."

* * *

Andromeda jumped at the chance to visit her cousin. Even knowing that Sirius was in the midst of a bout of what she termed "typical Black moodiness" wasn't enough to slow her down. She left her house almost before her daughter could tell her the whole story.

"Wait, Mum, you should know –"

"I know all I need to know," she said. "Sirius has been locked in his parents' house for months, Harry has just gone back to school, and Sirius is stuck in one place while everyone else he knows it out doing dangerous, death-defying work for the Order of the Phoenix. What more information do you think will help me?"

Tonks smiled slightly and shook her head. "Good luck, Mum."

"Thanks, love," she smiled. She blew her daughter a kiss and Disapparated.

Andromeda arrived in the quiet house, and tiptoed up the stairs. She didn't even stop to consider where she was going. She didn't need to think about it. She knew where she'd find him.

She paused outside the closed door of his childhood bedroom, letting the memories flood over her. On any given holiday, the two of them would hide out in one of two places: the kitchen or Sirius's room. The kitchen was their preferred hiding place when they were hungry. Sirius's room was the place they went when they wanted to be completely invisible. Looking back, she had no idea how their family had never managed to find them when they always went to the same places. Perhaps the sad truth was that their family wanted to find them as little as they wanted to be found.

She knocked lightly on the door, then pushed it open. "Sirius?" she asked, poking her head around the door.

"Andromeda!" he exclaimed, jumping up from his spot lying on the bed. "What are you doing here? And how did you know where to find me?"

She smiled. "You know, this was the first placed I looked. Habit, I suppose."

He grinned. "We did kill a lot of time up here, didn't we?"

She nodded with a smile. "Do you still have the chess set up here?"

"Yeah," he said, pointing to wooden chest pushed against a wall. "A bunch of my old stuff is still in there. I'm amazed my mother never threw it out."

"Maybe she was more sentimental than we knew," Andromeda said, stepping fully into the room.

"Let's not go that far," Sirius smiled. "It almost sounds as though she could have potentially had a heart."

Andromeda smiled as she sat down at Sirius's old desk. "How are you?" she asked.

Sirius sighed, knowing that he could never hide from her. While Remus would deal with his moody replies and snappish remarks – _to a point_, he thought, remembering how Remus had responded to him earlier – Andromeda would not. She allowed no self-pity or wallowing in moodiness. She was a tough woman – she was exactly what Sirius needed at that moment.

"Trapped," he said softly.

She nodded. "I was afraid of that."

"It's not just the house," he said before she could even ask. "Okay, you know that I hate this place, so I won't try to tell you that I'm glad to be here. I'm glad that the Order can get some use out of this place, and," he continued with a grin, "I'm glad, in a twisted way, that by turning the house over to the Order, I can defy all that my parents wanted me to be. But, Andromeda, I'm in complete limbo with my life."

"Don't you think you're being a bit melodramatic?" she asked.

"No," he said. "I'm a convicted murdered, but I've broken out of prison. Don't get me wrong – I'm thrilled to be out. But, I have to stay hidden away so I'm not sent back. That means I can't go back to being an Auror. I can't be an active Order member. I can't be a godfather to Harry – not the way James and Lily meant for me to be. I can't be with Olivia. But I can't _not_ be any of those things, either, because, to various degrees, I _am_ all those things. I'm totally caught in between what I'm supposed to be and what I can be." He grinned sardonically. "I'm not even truly the murderer I'm supposed to be."

"Well, I can't say _that's_ a bad thing," Andromeda said. "Sirius, I know this is tough for you, but you've got to hang in there. Things _will_ get better. Once your name is cleared, you'll be able to be an Auror, to work for the Order, to be Harry's godfather and to be with Olivia however you want."

He sighed. "At this point, I'd settle for any one of those things."

"Just be patient, Sirius. If you wait long enough, you can have them all."

"You know I don't do patient very well," he grinned.

"Well, maybe that's why you're here now," she suggested. "Maybe it's time for you to learn some patience."

"Don't you think you're asking a lot of me?"

"Don't you think you can do it?"

"Oo, that was low," he said. "Now I feel like I have to prove something to do you."

"Prove it to me, then," she challenged. "Prove to me that you can be patient enough to stay here like a good boy until it's safe for you to reclaim your life."

He sighed. "I'll do my best."

"That's all I can ask."

* * *

Olivia arrived in the house the next day. She Apparated into the gloomy building in the shadowy darkness just as the sun was coming up. Knowing that Sirius would still be asleep, she crept up the stairs to his bedroom. She turned the doorknob as quietly as possible, and slipped into the room. Sirius, as she had anticipated, was sprawled across the bed, sleeping soundly. She smiled to herself, and crossed the room to the bed. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his.

Even before he was fully awake, Sirius began to kiss her back. His eyes opened slowly, and he looked up at her in shock.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked.

He grinned. "What kind of a question is that?"

He wound his arms around her, pulling her down into the bed. She laughed as she fell on top of him.

"Missed me?" she teased.

"You have no idea," he said, pulling her down for another kiss. "I don't mean to put you off or anything, but do you mind if we talk later?"

She let her head fall back as his fingers danced over her body. "Sirius, I don't mind if we never talk at all."

* * *

"Hey, Remus, have you seen this?"

"Seen what?" Remus asked as he waved his wand to send clean breakfast dishes into the cupboard. Following visits from both Andromeda and Olivia, Sirius was returning to his former self. Although he was not completely back to normal, Remus was thrilled to have as much of his friend's old personality back as he could.

"_The_ _Quibbler_," Sirius replied.

Remus smiled. "More stories about your secret life?"

Sirius laughed. "No, but they do have an interesting story about Harry."

"Oh, tell me they haven't jumped on that bandwagon," Remus sighed. "I still can't believe all that the _Prophet_ prints about him. If Lily knew what that paper is doing to her son, she'd hex the entire staff into next week."

"This – Remus, this isn't like the _Prophet_ stories."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, suddenly interested in spite of himself.

"I mean this one is true – or, at the very least, it rings true. It tallies with all that Harry's told us before."

Remus wordlessly held out his hand, much as he would have done with a student. And, as a student would have reacted, Sirius silently handed over the magazine. Remus looked down at the front cover, and his eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"What has he done?" he whispered, staring at the picture of Harry that smiled up at him.

"He's told his side of the story," Sirius said gleefully. "Rita Skeeter interviewed him and wrote the story – I must say, she's very complimentary toward him. Strange, don't you think? Last time I read anything she wrote, she was tearing Harry to pieces." He paused. "Actually, I haven't read anything of hers in ages. Where do you think she's been all this time?"

Remus shook his head, flipping through the pages to find the article. "This is incredible," he whispered as he started to read.

Sirius poured himself a cup of coffee while Remus sank into a chair to read the interview. When he had finished reading, he looked up at Sirius in amazement.

"Can you believe it?"

"Which part?" Sirius asked. "The fact that he lived through that experience, the fact that he's now forced to act as though it never happened or the fact that he kept himself together enough to tell the story to Rita Skeeter, of all people?"

Remus shook his head. "He is the most incredible person."

Two pops sounded, and Remus and Sirius looked up. Standing before them in the kitchen were Dana and Olivia, both clutching copies of _The Quibbler_.

"Have you seen this?" Dana asked at once.

Remus gestured wordlessly to the copy spread out on the table in front of him.

"Can you imagine what Lily and James would say?" Olivia asked, joining the men at the table. "I wish they could be here to see this!"

"He truly is their son, isn't he?" Dana asked as she, too, sat down. "And, he's truly a Gryffindor. I can't believe how brave he's been!"

"He's amazing," Sirius said. "He's one of the most amazing people I've ever known. It's like he's the best of both of them, all thrown together into one little boy."

"Do you think that people will buy this?" Remus asked. "I don't mean the magazine – people always will buy that – but do you think anyone will believe his story? Do you think that _good_ can come of all this?"

"Well, it was published in _The Quibbler_," Olivia said. "And that can be good or bad, depending upon how you look at it. There are people who read magazines like this one religiously and believe every word they say. One of my colleagues, who is normally a well-balanced, intelligent man, swears by every story _The Quibbler_ prints." She gave Sirius a grin "If he knew that I know you, he'd be begging me for your autograph on a daily basis. He, for one, will definitely believe Harry's story.

"But, there are others, like me, who believe that this magazine prints complete rubbish," she continued. "I've never been a fan of _The Quibbler_. I've never even bought it before. I wouldn't have known about this article except for Dana bringing it over."

"Are you a _Quibbler_ believer?" Sirius asked Dana with a grin.

She laughed. "My mother is," she said. "She has it delivered to the house. She hasn't seen it today, though. I snatched this one as soon as I saw it and took it to Liv's house. As much as I don't usually believe what they write . . ."

"This is the truth," Sirius said firmly. "It's exactly the story that Harry told Dumbledore and I when he came out of the maze last year."

Dana shivered. "I was sort of hoping that it wasn't true," she confessed. "I mean, I know that he's back, I know that Harry was there, I know all of it . . . I just wish that it wasn't as awful for him as this. To think of a child – James and Lily's child – living through that horror is just too much."

"Thank God they were his parents," Remus said softly. "Thank God they were able to pass on to him, even in the short time they had with him, some of themselves. If he were anyone else's child, if he were anyone else at all, I don't think he could have lived through it. I really don't."

"Sirius is right," Olivia said quietly. "He's the best of both of them. And that's exactly what has saved him thus far. And, I think it's what's going to keep him going into the future. Because, as much as I hate to say it, this is far from over. Harry's got a long, difficult road ahead of him."

"And he'll have us fighting with him every step of the way," Sirius said. "I'm not letting him do this alone."

* * *

"I still say that it was the Imperius," Emmeline Vance said firmly. "There is no way that he would have done that. None."

"I agree," Mundungus said, his voice surprisingly free of the effects of alcohol. "Bode wasn't the brightest of the lot, but he was an honest, decent man. What's more, he was with the Order from the beginning. He would never – it's like Emmeline said. There's no way he would have tried to break in on his own. He knew the risks involved – aside from the magic guarding the thing, he knew that the Order would curse him to the next life for even trying."

"But how could that have happened?" Molly asked. "How could he have been put under the curse? The Ministry has guards –"

"The guards aren't necessarily on the same side as we are," Arthur said gently. "I know that they're there to protect the Ministry and its workers, but that doesn't mean they aren't working for You-Know-Who."

"So, Arthur, you're suggesting that someone within the Ministry did this to Bode?" Moody said gruffly.

"I don't see how we can _not_ assume that to be the case," Arthur said simply.

"I agree," Sirius said. A shadow crossed his eyes. "It's like last time – you can't trust anyone but yourself."

"Don't you think that's a bit dire, Sirius?" Bill Weasley asked.

"I agree that we need to be vigilant," Moody said. "Black is right. I think we all learned in the last war that trust is a very precious thing, and should only be given with the utmost care."

Sirius looked straight into Moody's eyes as the older man spoke. Yes, he had learned his lesson. He would regret for the rest of his days that learning it had cost two of his dearest friends their lives.

The tension in the room was broken by a pop. The Order members all jumped in their seats in surprise as Dumbledore appeared in their midst.

"Dumbledore," Moody said, clearly taken aback. "No trouble at the school, I hope?"

"Well, that depends on your definition of 'trouble,'" Dumbledore replied. "Dolores Umbridge has taken over as Headmistress of Hogwarts."

Remus nearly fell out of his chair. Looking at him, Sirius wondered if he was on the verge of passing out. He was sure he had never seen Remus so pale.

"What do you mean?" Remus managed to ask through stiff lips. "How could that – that _vile_ woman take over the school?"

"Well, it would appear that the Ministry no longer wants me to be there," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Then why didn't Minerva take over?" Molly asked, her own face nearly as chalky as Remus's. "She's Deputy Headmistress."

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore said, "so she is. And, thankfully, she is still there. However, when Dolores named herself High Inquisitor of the school, she also named herself second in command. When I left, she declared herself the new Head."

Remus shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You said that the Ministry wanted you gone," he said. "Why?"

"Well, I think that would be because of the army I have created among the students."

"The _what_?" Sirius exclaimed.

Dumbledore smiled again. "I believe you remember Mundungus telling us of a defense organization the students had started?"

Molly gave Sirius a sharp look. "I thought you had talked them out of that!"

"Teenagers can be very determined," he said innocently, shrugging his shoulders.

"Let me assure you, Molly, that they did go forward with it," Dumbledore said. "They have named themselves Dumbledore's Army. Catchy title, don't you think?"

"But what does any of this have to do with you, sir?" Bill asked.

"One of their members couldn't take the strain of keeping the organization a secret any longer," Dumbledore said. "She told Dolores what was going on – to her own aesthetic detriment, I must say. This student also informed her of Harry's involvement as the leader of the group. Dolores called in the Minister and several Aurors, our own Kingsley included, to deal with Harry."

"Is he all right?" Molly asked.

"Yes, he's fine," Dumbledore said. "When I saw the paper with all the students' names written on it under the title 'Dumbledore's Army,' I took responsibility myself. I managed to escape before Fudge could do anything more than threaten me."

"But Harry's fine?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, and he will remain that way," Dumbledore said firmly. "Minerva, Hagrid and Severus are all there. They will look after him."

"And what will you do?" Moody asked.

"I am in a bit of an unfortunate situation," Dumbledore admitted. "The Ministry is out looking for me, so I will have to make certain that they cannot find me." He gave Sirius a smile. "It would appear that invisibility will be my greatest ally for the next several weeks."

"What are you saying?" Emmeline asked in shock.

"I am going into hiding," Dumbledore said simply. "I have already told Minerva that I trust her with my school. I am now telling all of you that I trust you with my Order. I will be in touch. If any situation arises that requires my immediate attention, you know that your Patronus will find me."

"But, sir," Mundungus began.

"I will be in touch," Dumbledore repeated.

Then, smiling at all of them, he Disapparated.


	21. Memory Lane

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

And to The Allknowing Tonks, happy birthday a little early!

I don't own the Potter universe.

Memory Lane

Harry's face, which had been before them in the fire only moments earlier, was gone. Sirius and Remus were left staring into empty flames as they both processed all that Harry had just told them. Neither was concerned by what Harry had seen; in their minds, he had received a rather nostalgic glimpse into their lives and the lives of his parents when they were his age. The fact that he had seen Snape's memory of being tormented by James was less upsetting to them than the Potions Master's refusal to continuing teaching Harry Occlumency.

"This isn't be good," Sirius said as he stood to his feet. "No, this isn't good at all."

"It's the opposite of good," Remus said grimly as he, too, stood up. "You were right, Padfoot. Old grudges were too much for Severus to overcome in the end."

"Yeah, well, this is one time I'd rather be wrong," Sirius said heavily. He sat down at the table, shoving Remus's maps to one side. "Were you serious? Are you going to talk to Snape about giving Harry lessons again?"

"Yes," Remus replied, sitting down across from him. "Someone has to talk to him, and I really doubt that Harry will. You heard him – he's terrified to talk to Snape."

"Well, most people are," Sirius said with a hint of a smile. "It probably would sound better coming from an adult, anyway." He looked thoughtful. "We'd better tell Dumbledore, too."

"You want to involve Dumbledore?"

"He needs to know."

Remus shook his head. "Doesn't that seem a bit like we're telling on Snape?"

"Well, he deserves it," Sirius said, his face twisting into a rather ugly expression.

"You know, that's not exactly the attitude that Harry needs to see," Remus said mildly.

"Eh, he's fine," Sirius said, waving his hand. "He just said that he feels _sorry_ for Snape – and you know how James would have taken that."

"Think of how _Lily_ would have taken it," Remus said quietly.

Sirius stared at him for a moment without saying a word. Remus nodded.

"He's more Lily than James, Sirius. I've seen it for awhile."

Sirius remained quiet for a moment before speaking. "I can't say that's a bad thing," he said at last. "Lily was a truly wonderful person."

"I think even James would rather have Harry act more like his mother as a teenager," Remus said.

Sirius nodded slowly. "It's like Harry said – James was a bit of an idiot when we were at Hogwarts." He grinned. "So was I."

"So is every teenager," Remus smiled. "I'm not saying that Lily was this pillar of perfection at the age of fifteen. She was kind, but she was also snobby. She was a wonderful friend, but she thought she was too good for James." He paused. "You were friends with both of them back then. Would you rather have Harry be more like one than the other?"

"I don't know," Sirius said blankly. "It's like I said to Harry – James was the best friend I ever had. He and his family took me in when my own family wanted nothing to do with me. But Lily – Lily was the sister I never had. I wouldn't trade my friendship with either one of them for anything."

A pop sounded, and both men looked up. Olivia smiled at them as she joined them at the table.

"Miss me?" she asked, leaning over to kiss Sirius.

"What are you doing here?" he asked blankly.

"I had some free time, so I thought I'd come over and say hello," she smiled. "What's going on?"

"Harry was just here," Sirius said.

"Harry?" she asked, frowning slightly. "James and Lily's Harry?"

"Yes."

"What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be at school?"

"Sirius didn't explain that very well," Remus said. "He _is_ still at school. He talked to us over the Floo Network."

"How did he pull that off?" she asked. "From what I've heard, communicating with anyone outside Hogwarts is quite a feat."

Sirius and Remus looked at each other blankly.

"We didn't ask," Sirius said. "I'm not sure _how_ he found an open fire."

"I'm guessing it involved quite a bit of rule-breaking and a few major distractions," Remus mused. "I hope they did something truly awful to Umbridge."

"Remus!" Olivia laughed.

"Well, she deserves it," Remus said fiercely. "I still can't get over the fact that she's running that school. The idea makes me ill."

"Well, in an effort to keep you healthy, why don't you tell me why Harry was here?" Olivia said.

"He took a tumble into Snape's memory via a pensieve," Sirius said. "He saw something he shouldn't have seen."

Olivia screwed up her face. "Do I even want to know?"

"Nothing like that," Sirius laughed. "He saw James tormenting Snape."

"Well, there wasn't anything unusual about that."

"He saw him tormenting Snape during our OWLs," Sirius clarified. "Do you remember? Down by the lake? We had just finished the Defense written exam, and James started hexing Snape just for the fun of it. He had him flipped upside down at one point . . ."

"And Lily ran over to stop it," Olivia said quietly. "Yes. I remember."

"Harry was pretty upset by it," Remus offered.

Olivia nodded. "How much did he see?"

"Most of it, from what he said," Sirius replied. "He saw us sitting around, James showing off for Lily, Snape sitting down, James hexing Snape, Snape trying to fight back, Lily running over, James and Lily screaming at one another . . ."

"Lily screaming at James, you mean," Olivia corrected. "He would never scream at her."

"True enough," Sirius replied. "He was completely infatuated with her."

"She was with him, too," Olivia said.

"Oh, come off it," Sirius laughed. "She wouldn't give him the time of day back in fifth year!"

"That was another thing that really got to Harry," Remus said. "I mean, he was horrified to see his father picking on Snape, but he was just as upset about how much Lily disliked James."

"The thing is, I don't think she was all that repulsed by him," Olivia smiled. "I remember after that whole mess we found her up in the dormitory, completely miserable. All I remember her saying was that she couldn't understand why James had to act like that. I think she did fancy him back then, but didn't think she _should_ like him. I think that's why she fought so hard against him – she wanted to make him change."

"You women," Sirius laughed. "Always thinking you need to change your men."

"I knew better than to try to change you," Olivia smiled. "You always had to go your own way."

"Yes, well, you didn't hate me in fifth year," he grinned. "We were friends."

She smiled. "I think I was infatuated with you back then, too," she admitted.

Remus laughed. "You and Lily could have saved us so much melodrama if you had just been honest about your feelings back then."

"But then where would the fun have been?" Olivia laughed.

Sirius smiled sadly. "I wish things could have been different."

"We all ended up with the right people in the end," Olivia said.

"Yes, but I wish we could still _be_ with those people," Sirius sighed. "You and I should be married, fighting the forces of evil together. Remus should still have Laura, and they should be baptizing their seventh child."

Remus choked. "_Seventh_?" he squeaked.

"Yes, you strike me as the virile type," Sirius grinned.

"I don't even know what to say to that," Remus said. "Thank goodness Laura isn't here to hear it."

"You still miss her, don't you?" Sirius asked.

"Of course," Remus said simply. "I still love her."

"You were supposed to be with her forever. You should still have her. And Harry should still have his parents," Sirius finished. "James and Lily should have had the chance to raise their son. Can you even imagine what his life would have been like if they had lived?"

"He wouldn't be famous," Remus said. "He'd just be Harry. He'd have James and Lily to send him to school every year and to welcome him home for every holiday. He'd be spoiled, I'm sure."

"He certainly would be," Olivia laughed. "Do you remember the party James's mother threw for Harry's first birthday?"

Remus gave a teasing smile. "Would you rather he be like that, Sirius?"

"I'd rather he have his parents," Sirius said at once. "Wouldn't you?"

"I'd give anything for him to have them," Remus said. "I'm sure he would be a better person if they had been alive to raise him. But, I think he's a remarkable person, even without knowing them. And I think he's more like them than he'll ever know."

"Except for this fear of talking to Snape," Sirius said. "He didn't get timidity from James or Lily!"

"He's afraid to talk to Snape?" Olivia asked.

"After Snape caught Harry in his memories, he refused to teach him Occlumency anymore," Remus explained. "I told him to go talk to Snape about it."

"But Harry refused to talk to him?"

"No, he said he would . . . but I've spent enough time with teenagers to know that he just said that to get me to leave him alone about it."

"So what are you going to do?" Olivia asked. "He needs to learn Occlumency!"

"I'm going to go up to the school to talk to Snape," Remus said. "I'll give it some time – let the shock and humiliation wear off a bit. But I will talk to him."

Sirius nodded. "The sooner the better, I'd say."

"Are you sure, Remus?" Olivia asked. "Do you think he'll listen to you?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. But I have to try."

* * *

That night a full Order meeting took place. The vast majority of the members, with the conspicuous exceptions of Dumbledore and Snape, were there. As Remus watched Tonks walk into the meeting, he felt his pulse speed up slightly. He mentally kicked himself. He had made such wonderful plans to stay away from her, to distance himself before he could fall in love. He knew that his plans were for the best, and that they were the most responsible way to handle their relationship. Why, then, could he not take his eyes off her?

Tonks slid into the seat next to his as Moody called the gathering to order. Remus barely heard a word that was spoken during the meeting. He was completely preoccupied with noticing every small move that Tonks made. He breathed a bit deeper than usual, loving the scent of her perfume. He wanted to reach out to touch her, but refrained. He forcibly reminded himself that he was no longer a teenager, and that he was fully capable of keeping his emotions and hormones in check. He tried even harder to focus on the meeting.

At long last, the meeting was adjourned. Before he had a chance to excuse himself, Tonks turned to him with a smile.

"Can we talk for a minute?" she asked.

"Of course," Remus replied automatically.

"Good," she said cheerfully. She looked around at the other members, who were breaking off into their own small groups to chat. "Er – would you mind if we went somewhere a bit more private?"

"All right," Remus said, knowing where this was leading. He followed her out of the room a bit hesitantly, wondering if he would be able to stick to his resolve to be her friend and nothing more.

Tonks led him to a small, unused room off the kitchen. Remus had asked Sirius about this room once, and had received a shrug in reply. Apparently, his parents had not found a use for it during their years in the house.

"Well," Tonks said a bit nervously, waving her wand to light the room.

"Deep thought," Remus smiled.

She rolled her eyes at the silly pun and smiled. "I've been wanting to talk to you forever," she admitted. "I just haven't been able to find the chance to do it."

"What do you want to talk about?" Remus asked.

She bit her lip nervously. "Right before we took the kids back to Hogwarts at the end of their holiday, we started a discussion about a certain incident that took place on Christmas. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we haven't been able to finish that conversation. I'd like to do that now."

"Tonks," Remus sighed. "You're talking about that kiss, aren't you?"

"Yes," she said.

He nodded silently, considering his words. "That was a truly lovely moment. I won't insult you by pretending that I didn't enjoy it. But, Tonks, it can't happen again."

The color drained from her face. "What do you mean, it can't happen again?"

"Don't you see?" he said a bit desperately. "It just wouldn't work!"

"What wouldn't work? You and I?"

He shook his head. "I'm too old for you, Tonks."

"Why don't you let me decide that?" she exclaimed. "I don't think that at all! Remus, you told me that you don't ever kiss without meaning it. If that kiss meant something to you, then how can you just turn your back on it? How can you turn your back on us and the potential that we have?"

"Because it's not going to happen," he said. "I won't let us hurt ourselves like that."

"Who said anything about hurting ourselves?" she asked, stepping a bit closer to him.

"Tonks, I just don't see how this can end well," he said. "I can't let myself fall in love with you. There's just too much risk. I lost someone I loved once. I don't know if I can live through that again."

"Remus," she said quietly, stepping close enough to lay her hand on his chest, "I'm not going anywhere."

He swallowed hard at her touch. "No one says they're planning to leave at the beginning of a relationship," he said.

"Remus, you can't just look at the potential negatives," she said softly, reaching up to touch his face. "Sirius is right. You do worry too much."

He bit his lip. "I can't fall in love again," he whispered.

"Yes, you can," she whispered back. She moved her hands up to cradle his face.

"Tonks," he whispered.

"Shhh," she said quietly. She leaned up to kiss him.

Remus kissed her back at once, putting his hands on her hips to pull her to him. There was a certain desperation to their kiss, as though they were each trying to prove something to the other with the action. The seconds stretched on into moments as they kissed; neither of them wanted to break the connection.

A horrific screaming filled the air, and they pulled apart. They looked at one another with hazy eyes.

"Still sure that it's a bad idea?" Tonks asked.

"Let's talk about this later, shall we?" Remus said briskly. "I want to see what's going on."

Tonks groaned inwardly, wondering how long it would take for them to discuss this encounter. She sighed, and followed him out of the room.

They only needed to go to the kitchen to discover the problem. Fred and George Weasley were standing in the middle of the room, cowering slightly as their mother screamed up at them.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as he came to a stop next to Sirius.

"They've left school," Sirius said in wonder.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked in shock. "They can't just leave!"

"I believe that Molly did scream that at them at some point," Sirius grinned. "They said they don't need their NEWTs, they can't take Umbridge anymore, and they've already got a building for the joke shop. They wanted to tell their parents before they headed to Diagon Alley to get to work."

"They're really serious about this?" Remus said quietly.

Sirius nodded. "Seem to be."

Remus shook his head. "It's completely unbelievable. No one just leaves Hogwarts!"

"From what I've heard, no one does a lot of things that those two do," Tonks smiled.

"That much is true," Remus said. "Still, though. I don't even know how to react to this."

"Personally, I'm impressed with Molly's ability to scream at them," Sirius said. He glanced at his watch. "I'd say she's been going for a good five minutes without stopping."

"Where's Arthur?" Remus asked.

"Over there," Sirius said, indicating a chair slightly to the right of the twins. "I don't think he knows what to make of all this."

"He does look a bit shell-shocked," Tonks smiled.

"I suppose I wouldn't be happy if my children had just fled Hogwarts," Remus said.

"Even if they were fleeing Umbridge?" Sirius asked with a knowing smile.

"Well, I might have to make an exception for that," Remus grinned. "I hope they did something horrible to her before they left."

"Remus!" Tonks laughed.

"She deserves it," he said. He grinned. "If I know Fred and George, it was an experience that most of the students will never forget."

* * *

Remus waited two weeks before going to Hogwarts to talk to Snape. Beyond wanting to give Snape time to get over the humiliation of Harry witnessing a rather horrific memory, he wanted to give Umbridge time to get over the twins' escape. He had finally managed to get the full story of the portable swamp distraction and broomstick exit from them, and knew that the new headmistress couldn't possibly be taking it well. Although he had laughed when he heard the story, he had to admit that he was rather happy not to be working at Hogwarts in the aftermath of their dramatic departure.

Aside from making time to talk to the twins during that two weeks, he had also made it a point _not_ to talk to Tonks. Their kiss had left him completely confused. He hadn't even confided in Sirius about the matter. He felt too adrift in a sea of emotions to even try to analyze it. He had shelved the entire incident, promising himself that he would think about it "later."

His thoughts were still with Tonks as he made his way up the front steps of the school. The memory of her lips on his was shoved aside, however, as he approached the front door, wondering if he would be able to get into Hogwarts. He knew that Umbridge's security kept most mail from the students for weeks at a time; he wasn't sure if it would also keep visitors from the teachers.

He opened the front door and stepped into the school. A security troll met him almost immediately.

"Oh," he said. "I'm here to see Professor Snape."

The troll leered at him, but did not speak.

"May I just pass, then?" he asked.

The troll grunted. Remus wasn't sure if that was approval or not, and shifted his feet uncertainly. He was just trying to decide if he should leave and write Snape a letter when Professor McGonagall appeared.

"Remus!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Professor Snape," he said. "Is he in school today?"

"Of course," she said. She looked up at the troll. "Professor Lupin is permitted to enter anytime he chooses," she said.

Remus grinned. "You'd better not let certain people in a position of authority hear that," he said. "I'm sure some people would be more than happy to keep someone like me as far from this school as possible."

"Yes, well, I am still the Deputy Headmistress, and I do still have _some_ authority in this school," McGonagall said stiffly.

Remus smiled. "I'm so glad," he said quietly.

"I believe that Professor Snape has a class right now," McGonagall said briskly, clearly eager to change the subject. "It will end in ten minutes, though, if you'd like to wait."

"Thank you," he said. A mischievous glint sparkled in his eye. "Actually, while I'm waiting . . . I'd rather like to see the twins' swamp. Can you tell me where it is?"

She smiled. "I'll take you there."

As they walked up the stairs together, Remus couldn't help but notice the signs that the school was fighting back against its administrator. Parchment, broken quills and ink littered the corridors, something he had never seen when Dumbledore was headmaster. Torches were hung in their brackets at bizarre angles. Paintings, too, appeared to be falling off the walls. Suits of armor were missing pieces; one of them meowed rather ominously at them as they passed.

"Mrs. Norris," McGonagall sighed. "It's not the first time she's been stuck in a suit of armor recently."

Remus hid his smile. "Should we help her?"

"Mr. Filch will be here in a moment, and I don't dare take away the joy he'll find in threatening to disembowel the students for such an action."

Remus laughed.

"And here," McGonagall said as they rounded a corner, "is the swamp. Terrible shame, really. I hate to see it taking up a corridor like this, but the Weasley twins didn't leave instructions to get rid of it. We've asked Ron and Ginny, of course, but neither of them has any idea of how to banish it."

Remus grinned. Talented though the twins were, he knew that Flitwick or McGonagall herself could have easily gotten rid of the swamp that filled the corridor. "And the headmistress hasn't been able to find a way to clean it up?"

"No, it's a mystery to us all," McGonagall said, barely hiding her smile.

"Rather impressive creation, though. Those twins clearly had some good teachers."

McGonagall sighed. "If they had applied themselves to their studies, they would have led every class. Is it true they're starting a joke shop?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "They hope to be open for business within the month."

A bell rang, followed by the sounds of classroom doors banging open and students rushing through the halls on their way to the next lessons.

"You should be able to speak with Professor Snape now," McGonagall said. "I'd move through the corridors quickly if I were you. The students have a way of causing quite a bit of chaos between classes."

Remus grinned. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Professor."

She nodded. "You're welcome."

Remus made his way down to the dungeons as quickly as possible. He had to agree with McGonagall; there was considerably more "chaos" in the halls than he remembered from his brief tenure as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. He found Snape in his classroom, putting away samples of the potions made by his last class.

"Severus, hello," Remus said as he walked into the room.

"Lupin," Snape said. His eyes widened slightly, but he showed no other outward sign of surprise. "What brings you all the way to Hogwarts?"

"I'd like to speak with you for a moment, if I may."

Snape nodded slightly. "For a moment," he consented.

Remus cheered silently at this small victory. "I've spoken to Harry," he said lightly.

"How exactly is that possible?" Snape asked. "Our headmistress has very tight control over all communications with those outside our walls."

"I don't think the details of how he managed it are all that important," Remus said. "Even so, I hope that you will not use that information against him."

Snape shrugged. "Dumbledore has spent the past five years allowing Potter to bend and break any and all rules. I don't see why he should consider himself subject to Dolores Umbridge's control."

"You don't seem very fond of her," Remus said tentatively.

Snape shrugged again. "I am not in a position to speak ill of my superior. Unlike you, I do have to maintain my employment."

Remus recoiled inwardly at the words, but decided to let it go. Hard experience had taught him that Snape would eventually give up baiting his "victims" if they did not fight back. "I'd like to speak with you about what Harry told me," he said.

"By all means, bring us to the point of this conversation."

"He told me that he saw something he shouldn't have seen. A memory that you had stored in a pensieve."

"He was willing to admit that he shouldn't have seen it? That he was wrong? That's a rather impressive step for a Potter."

Remus sighed. "Severus, I know that you and James did not get along. I won't patronize you by pretending that the past wasn't as you remember. I was there, too. I know how things were between you. Even so, you can't take your dislike of James out on his son."

"Harry Potter has given me no reason to think that he has any more redeeming qualities than his father had," Snape said harshly. "I am not taking my feelings for James out on him, I am merely acting on my feelings for Harry himself."

Remus's eyes widened. "What has Harry done to you?"

"Harry _is_ his father," Snape hissed. "Isn't that enough?"

Remus was forcibly reminded of the words James had used to describe his reasons for disliking Snape when they were students together. There was no real reason for James to harbor such a hatred for Snape; he often said that the other boy's very existence annoyed him. Remus couldn't miss the irony in Snape now using similar logic against his former adversary's son.

"What's this?" Snape sneered. "No reply? No defense for the golden child?"

"Is a schoolboy grudge really reason enough to stop teaching him Occlumency?" Remus asked, rather than responding to Snape's taunt. "You know how important it is for him to learn this skill. Surely Dumbledore told you that."

"Of course he did. But that doesn't change the fact that the boy possesses a hopeless lack of talent in Occlumency. It does not come to him easily, and he is not willing to work at it. To be honest, continuing with him for as long as I did was a form of torture."

"Teaching is _about_ continuing with those who have to work harder!" Remus exclaimed. "It's about working with students regardless of their abilities! It's about helping them to succeed, no matter what. It's about giving them the desire to do well."

"And your _one year_ of teaching experience gives you the right to tell _me_, a fourteen year veteran, what teaching is all about?"

Remus took a deep breath and released it. "So that's it, then? You're willing to stop teaching Harry, enough though his future may depend on this skill?"

"I think you're being a bit dramatic, Lupin," Snape said as though bored.

"And I think you're being a bit ridiculous," Remus snapped. "A humiliating experience as a teenager isn't worth this, Snape. Don't you think Harry's future – perhaps even the _world's_ future – is more important than holding a grudge?"

"Don't you realize that some things are too hard to let go of?" Snape said in a deadly whisper. "I would think that you, of all people, would be able to understand that."

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked, thoroughly confused.

"You accuse me of being unable to let go of the past," Snape said. "I will admit to that. I do hold a grudge against James Potter and Sirius Black for all that they did to me when we were at Hogwarts. Perhaps I am guilty of transferring some of those feelings to Harry. But, you, Lupin, are just as guilty of living in the past."

"How is that?"

Snape smiled malevolently. "When exactly did your wife die?" he asked.

Remus's mouth dropped open.

"As I recall, it was when Harry was just a baby," Snape continued. "Yet, you still live your life as though you are a married man, completely faithful to his wife. Oh, yes, Lupin, I've seen the way Tonks looks at you. And I've seen you push her away so that you can remain faithful to a woman who has been dead for fifteen years."

"I don't – I'm not –"

Snape glanced down. "You still wear a wedding band," he said coldly. "You live in the past as much as I do, Lupin. I am not judging you or saying that the way you've chosen to live is a bad thing. All I ask is the same respect. Until you can stop living the past, kindly refrain from shoving your empty rhetoric on me."

Remus looked at him for a moment, then stumbled from the room. He leaned up against the cool dungeon wall to collect himself before slowly walking out of the castle.


	22. Useless

A/N: As usual, I'm sorry this took so long. The good news is that, as of today, only 22 student days stand between me and summer break! Hopefully, I'll be back to updating at least once a week soon!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really hope you like this chapter. It's a bit transitional, but the major action resumes in the next chapter. Um … well … take that statement to mean the worst possible action …

Enjoy this chapter!

I don't own the Potter universe.

Useless

Remus somehow made his was back to headquarters. He immediately went to the kitchen, where Sirius was sitting at the table, drinking butterbeer.

"Hey, Moony," he said a bit listlessly.

"Hi," Remus replied as though in a daze.

Sirius looked at him closely. "Are you all right?"

Remus shook his head as he sat down at the table with his friend.

"What did Snape say?" Sirius demanded. "He refused to teach Harry, didn't he? I knew it! I should have gone myself! I knew you wouldn't ever think to hex him into agreeing to continue those lessons."

"No, Sirius, it's not that," Remus said. He thought for a moment. "Although, now that you mention it, he did refuse to continue teaching Harry Occlumency."

"Wait," Sirius said. "What else could have happened to drive that to the back of your mind?"

"He said – he said something else."

"And are you going to tell me what that was?"

Remus sighed and ran his hands over his face. "I told him that all that happened in the past was no reason to punish Harry now."

"That's true."

"Well, he said that it wasn't fair of me to accuse him of living in the past when I do the same thing."

"What?" Sirius asked, frowning in confusion. "I'd say you've moved past our school battles better than Snape or I have."

"He wasn't talking about that. He said – Sirius, he said that I'm still living the life of a married man, completely faithful to my dead wife's memory. He said that it's fine to live that way and he's not going to judge me for it, but I'm not allowed to judge him for holding a grudge against you and James."

"Well, as long as he's not being hypocritical," Sirius said sarcastically.

Remus looked at him miserably. "I think he's right, Padfoot. I _am_ living in the past, aren't I?"

"Moony. . ."

"No, it's true." He held his hand up in front of his face, looking at it as though seeing it for the first time. "I still wear my wedding band. I wear it every single day. I never thought about it until Severus pointed it out. Even though Laura died fifteen years ago, it has never occurred to me to take it off."

"She was your wife, Moony," Sirius said gently. "You can't be expected to just forget that."

Remus shook his head. "But I do have to move on, don't I? Isn't that what everything and everyone was all about when she died? Lily and Harry spent every waking moment with me for weeks trying to help me get past my grief. Dana named her daughter Laura as a tribute to my wife. I remember telling Dana how much it helped me the first time I held her Laura." He shook his head. "It was all for nothing, wasn't it? I'm still stuck in the past, dedicating my life to the memory of a woman who has been dead since before Harry's first birthday."

"But . . . Remus, if you're happy this way, then I don't think it's necessarily a _bad_ thing," Sirius said slowly. "You have to do what makes you happy. I know that Laura made you very happy. If holding on to her memory like this makes you happy, then you should do it. Snape was right about one thing – it's not for us to judge how others live. If you see a problem with your own life, then it's time to make a change, but you shouldn't change just because someone else thinks you should."

Remus sighed. "I don't know, Sirius. I always thought that I was happy, but now . . . I'm not sure anymore."

"You're thinking about Tonks, aren't you?" Sirius asked quietly.

Remus snapped his head up, but didn't respond verbally.

"It's all right if you are," Sirius said. "She's a great girl, Moony – and I'm not just saying that because she's my cousin."

Remus smiled, then looked down. "I don't know how I feel about her," he admitted. "She kissed me again. I don't think that I told you that."

"No, you didn't!" Sirius exclaimed. "When was this?"

"The day the twins came here after leaving Hogwarts."

"But that was weeks ago!"

"Two weeks," Remus nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Remus shrugged. "I couldn't quite figure it out myself. I didn't want to drag you into my confusion."

Sirius shook his head. "You're my best friend, Moony. Your confusion is my confusion."

Remus smiled faintly. "The point, Padfoot, is that I don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel. I can't figure this out."

"Okay," Sirius said slowly. "Just start talking, and we'll try to find some sense in it."

"You were right when you said that she's a great girl," Remus said. "I'm not about to deny that. But there's just so many problems."

"Such as?"

"The werewolf issue comes to mind."

"She already knows about your furry little problem," Sirius said, waving his hand to dismiss Remus's fears. "She's fine with it. I don't think she sees it as an issue at all." He grinned. "She's taking it just like we did back when we found out in second year."

Remus smiled. "She has been really nice about it, but . . ."

"You and these 'buts,'" Sirius sighed. "But what?"

"I think it's more of an issue than she realizes."

Sirius shook his head. "She's an Auror. She knows all about the laws, the prejudices, the whole deal. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt, shall we?"

"All right," Remus conceded. "There's also my lack of employment."

"I don't think she cares. Again, she understands the laws. She would never blame that on you." He grinned. "Next argument?"

"Well, obviously, she's considerably younger than me. The fact that I can remember you showing us her baby pictures when Andromeda sent them to you sort of makes me feel like a dirty old man for having kissed her."

Sirius laughed. "First, you are as far from a dirty old man as possible."

"Even though I was fourteen when she was born?"

"If you had been twenty-four when she was born, I'd say that you have a point," Sirius said. "But, Remus, fourteen years isn't impossible to overcome. Sure, she uses words and expressions that you're not all that familiar with, but you can learn them."

Remus shook his head. "It just seems wrong somehow. I feel like she's this innocent little girl who I'm corrupting."

"She's tougher than that," Sirius said. "I don't think she'd let herself be corrupted unless she thought it was right."

"That's sort of a problem for me, too."

"That she's tough?"

"Not necessarily _that_ . . . I just . . . her personality . . ."

"Remus, please just get to the point."

"She's not like Laura," he said in a rush.

Sirius's eyes widened slightly. "No," he said slowly, "she's not like Laura. Not exactly, anyway. Why is that a problem?"

"It's like you said earlier," Remus said a bit desperately. "Laura made me happy. If Tonks is so different from Laura, how do I know that she'll make me happy, too?"

"Remus, Tonks is different from Laura in many ways," Sirius said. "She's a louder personality, if you will. She changes her hair color once a day, she wears bright, young clothes, she listens to loud music and she gets overly excited about the smallest things. But, fundamentally, I think she and Laura are rather alike."

Remus frowned.

"They both would do anything for their friends," he began. "They're dedicated to their families. They both work extremely hard to achieve their goals. They both are incredibly bright, gifted witches, whose main goal is to help others." He smiled and finished in a quiet voice. "And they both care very deeply for you."

Remus shivered slightly. "I guess you have a point."

"Laura loved you very much, Remus. You were the great love of her life. You believe that she was the great love of yours. Now you have Tonks, a young, bright, pretty girl who is willing to let you see if life will grant you _two_ great loves."

"Life doesn't work like that," Remus said sadly. "Not for me."

"Maybe this time, it will," Sirius said. He sighed and ran his hands though his hair. "You know that I've been rooting for you and Tonks from the beginning, but, ultimately, I can't tell you what to do. You need to decide if you want to live in the past with Laura or give the future a try with Tonks. The choice is yours, but you need to make it. You can't have both. Either way, I won't judge you."

Picking up his drink, Sirius left the kitchen, giving Remus some time alone to process all that had been said.

* * *

Remus did not have much time to consider a potential relationship with Tonks; he left early the next morning on Order business. Sirius was once again left alone with Buckbeak. This time seemed harder than the other days and weeks that he had stayed in the house alone. For some reason, he couldn't get Snape out of his head. His refusal to teach Harry Occlumency weighed heavily on Sirius, who felt some indirect responsibility for the vital lessons' abrupt end. What if things had gone differently when he, James and Snape had gone to school together? Would Snape have a better opinion of Harry now?

In the end, Sirius knew there was no way things _could_ have gone differently. He and James had disliked and distrusted Snape from the moment they first saw him at their Sorting. Even if they had met him at a time when they were not judgmental eleven-year-olds, they would never have been friends. Snape had believed in and stood for everything that Sirius and James opposed. Even if he had possessed a personality completely in synch with their own, they still would have taken issue with his obsession with the Dark Arts. And Sirius felt no remorse for that. In his mind, there was no gray area when it came to the Dark Arts. Those who opposed them were his friends; those who did not, his enemies.

He wished, though, that he had been the one to talk to Snape about resuming Harry's Occlumency lessons rather than Remus. While he knew that Remus was, and always had been, the diplomatic one, the one who could best present a case, he also thought that this time, Snape needed to hear an argument with more force than reason. He wanted desperately to go find Snape and talk to him, but knew that he couldn't. He had promised Dumbledore that he would remain in the house. That promise grated on his nerves more than any other he had made in his lifetime. Even the knowledge that it was for his own good didn't placate him.

_I promised James and Lily that I'd take care of Harry_, he raged inwardly. _How exactly am I "taking care" of him if I'm trapped in this house? What good am I to my godson if I can't even help him when he needs it? See him when he needs to talk?_

"Sirius? Are you here?"

Sirius was immediately irritated by the question, even though he knew the voice to be Olivia's. Where else would he be?

"Sirius?"

"I'm up here with Buckbeak," he called.

He heard her footsteps getting closer; she entered the attic with a smile on her face. He tried to return it, but, for some reason, found it almost impossible to smile.

"Hey," she said, leaning down to kiss him. "How have you been?"

"Bored," he replied honestly. "You?"

"Busy," she smiled as she sat down next to him on the attic floor. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," he said automatically.

"Are you all right?" Olivia asked, looking at him critically. "You seem a bit off."

"Oh, really?" he said sarcastically. "I wonder why that would be."

"You don't need to get so snippy, you know," she said. "I'm just trying to help."

"Maybe I don't need your help," he said coldly. He had a feeling that he was going to regret this conversation later, but he couldn't stop himself. He was frustrated with his situation in life, and felt completely, utterly useless. He needed to take his anger out on someone, and Olivia happened to be the unlucky one who was there with him.

"I think you _do_ need my help," she countered. "I think you need it more than you know."

"Since when did you decide that you know what I need? That you're the expert on what I think and how I feel?" he asked, feeling the oddest sense of déjà vu.

Her eyes widened as she, too, remembered those words from a long-ago fight. "Sirius, I love you," she said. "I know you as well as I know myself." She paused and bit her lip. "Or, at least, I _did_ know you as well as I know myself – once upon a time."

"What do you mean by that?" Sirius asked, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

"I don't know," she sighed. "I just – I used to be able to tell what you thought or felt just by looking into your eyes. But, lately, that just isn't as easy as it used to be."

"What are you trying to say? That you don't love me anymore? That you don't care?"

"_No_!" she yelled. "Dammit, Sirius, I love you more than anyone! What I _don't_ love is the way you constantly try to shove me away! You act like you're the only person on the planet who's ever had problems or dealt with frustration. You're not, okay? Plenty of people have been in situations far worse than yours and lived to tell the tale."

"And have those other people you're talking about been completely cut off from their godchildren even after promising to take care of them?" he yelled back.

"This isn't about Harry!" Olivia yelled. "This is about _you_!"

"You – you don't understand," Sirius said. He wasn't yelling anymore; he sounded defeated.

"Can't you explain it to me?" Olivia asked. She touched his face. "Please, Sirius, make me understand."

He shook off her hands. "I can't," he said. "No one can ever understand."

Olivia jumped to her feet. "My God, Sirius, was it always so much work to love you?"

"I'm not asking you do strain yourself," he said in a low, cutting voice. "If it's too much effort, you can leave the same way you came."

She dropped back to her knees in front of him. "Sirius, I want you help you! Can't you see that?" She sighed. "In some ways, I swear you're still the same seventh year I fell for all those years ago. Haven't you learned by now that you shouldn't try to push everyone away? You don't need to be alone right now, Sirius! I'm here to help you!"

"Are you completely deaf?" he yelled. "_I don't need your help_! I'm fine on my own!"

She looked at him for a moment as though weighing her options, then jumped to her feet again. "Fine," she said, breathing heavily. "Fine. If you don't need me or want me, then there's no reason for me to stay."

Without waiting for him to speak again, to insult her again, she Disapparated.

Sirius looked at the spot where she had been standing for what felt like forever. Then, he yelled wordlessly as though expelling all the anger from his body. He grabbed the closest thing he could find – the plate he put Buckbeak's food on – and threw it against the wall.

* * *

Olivia considered it a small miracle that she made it back to France without splinching herself. She was in her house for all of thirty seconds when she realized that it was not where she needed to be. She took off at a run, knowing exactly whom she needed to talk to.

* * *

Remus had been gone for four days before he was fully able to process his feelings. It took four days of thinking through Tonks's daily routine before he realized the truth: He cared for her – very deeply.

She was the first person he thought of every morning when he awoke. She was the last person he thought of before falling asleep. During the day, he would think of how much fun he would have had if she were with him. He thought of what she was probably doing, of the battles she and Kingsley were fighting. He wished there was some way he could be there to protect her.

Even his dreams were haunted by images of her – and, he had to admit, those were far more . . . intriguing . . . than the thoughts he had of her during the day. The first time he dreamt of kissing her lips, touching her body and feeling her beneath him, he awoke drenched in sweat. He had not known how deep his desire for her was until he realized how much he wanted that dream to be a reality.

Sirius was right. He needed to choose between living in the past with Laura and pursuing a future with Tonks. He wanted to choose Tonks. Desperately. His only fear was that he wouldn't have the strength to do it.

* * *

By the time Olivia arrived at Dana's house, she was nearly in tears. She opened the front door without knocking and walked inside.

"Dana?" she called. "Are you home?"

"I'm in the kitchen, Liv!" Dana called back.

Olivia rushed through the house to the kitchen. Dana was alone, up to her elbows in dough.

"Hi," she said cheerfully. "I'm trying a new recipe. Mum got it from some woman that she knows from the village. It's a Muggle recipe, so I'm . . ." She trailed off as she saw the tears that stood in Olivia's eyes. "My God, Liv, what's wrong?"

"Sirius Black is a horrible, unfeeling prat," she spat. Although her words were full of anger, the tears that ran down her cheeks were of sorrow.

"Oh, sweetie," Dana sighed.

She pulled her hands out of the dough, muttered a charm to clean them, and pulled Olivia into a tight, comforting embrace. Safe in her friend's arms, Olivia burst into tears.

* * *

Remus was exhausted both physically and emotionally when he returned to Grimmauld Place. He moved silently through the hall before calling out to his friend.

"Sirius? Where are you?"

"Library," came the slightly slurred response.

Remus made his way to the library, where Sirius was sitting before the fire. An empty shot glass stood next to a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Rough night?" Remus asked, sitting down with him.

"Olivia was here," Sirius replied. "We had a fight."

"About what?"

"I don't really remember – she said something about how much I needed her and that I shouldn't push her away or some other rubbish."

"Where is she now?"

"France, I suppose."

Remus contemplated him silently for a moment, then used his wand to conjure a second shot glass. He poured himself a glass of firewhiskey, downing it before speaking.

"Do you ever feel like we're stuck in seventh year?"

"What?" Sirius asked, shocked to hear him use nearly the same words that Olivia had.

"Do you remember that night in seventh year when we all sneaked out to the Three Broomsticks? Kathleen had died over Christmas, and Peter was so screwed up he could barely see straight. You and Olivia had had some huge fight, and James and Lily had blown a stupid disagreement out of proportion into a huge fight. You, James, Peter and I all went to the bar to drown our sorrows."

"Yeah, I do remember that," Sirius said. That had been the night that Olivia had declared her love for him, shocking him into the realization that he had no idea how he felt about her. "But how is that like this?"

"We're sitting here, drinking away our problems with women."

"What problems do you have?"

Remus drank his second shot before answering. "I fancy her."

"What?" Sirius said eloquently. "You _fancy_ her?"

"I told you I feel like a seventh year."

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" Sirius asked, grinning broadly.

Remus shrugged. "Don't know. What are you going to do about this fight with Olivia?"

Sirius mirrored Remus's shrug. "Don't know," he echoed. He smiled. "Yeah, you were right. We are seventh years."

"Shouldn't we be more evolved? Shouldn't we know what to do in a situation like this?"

"You've always been more evolved, Moony. You've always known what to do."

"Not this time."

Sirius grinned and poured himself another shot. "Here's to not knowing what to do. If you can't find the right way to handle a situation, I'm completely lost."

Remus chinked his glass against Sirius's, then took the shot. "Shit, Sirius, I don't know what to do."

"I think we already established that. Personally, I think you should just tell her. We both know she's not going to shoot you down."

"I don't know if I can."

"Even though it's pretty much a guaranteed fact that she cares for you?"

"There's still too many complications," Remus said. "I'm afraid it won't work. Then, I'll have lost a friend who I value very much and have let her break my heart. Not a good outcome."

"You worry too much," Sirius said, waving his hand in a rather haphazard pattern.

"Fine," Remus replied. "What are you going to do about Olivia, then?"

"What can I do? She's the one who got all mad and left."

"And you didn't say anything to make her want to leave?"

"Me?" Sirius said, grinning drunkenly. "All right, I _may_ have said _some_ things that _may_ have upset her . . ."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not," Sirius said honestly. "Let's just say that it wasn't pretty."

"You and Liv have had plenty of fights before," Remus said. "You've always managed to find your way back to each other."

"Yeah, but this time, I can't even go and hunt her down," Sirius said miserably. "Moony, all I want to do right now is to go to France to tell her how sorry I am. But I can't! I can't leave this house! I'm stuck in here like some sort of prisoner. I love you, Liv, Tonks and Andromeda for being here for me, but just once, I want to be the one who visits someone else. I want to be the one to drop in unexpectedly. I want – I just want to be out there, doing something to help." He sighed. "I want to help Harry. I want to keep my promise to James and Lily."

"You are," Remus said urgently. "You help him more than you know, just by being here. He knows who you are now. He knows that you're here for him. He knows that you're innocent and that, as soon as your name is cleared, you'll be able to be the godfather that James and Lily had hoped you would be."

"But is it enough?" Sirius asked.

Remus smiled sadly. "It has to be, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "I don't have a choice. I can't leave." He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice as he spoke.

Remus sighed, wanting to distract Sirius from his bitterness somehow. "Do you want me to go get Olivia? I can tell her to come over so you can apologize."

Sirius shook his head. "I'll owl her or something."

"You're going to apologize through a letter?"

"It's better than not apologizing at all."

"True enough."

"There, I've made my decision," Sirius said. "Your turn. What are you going to do about Tonks?"

Remus smiled. "Analyze the situation further."

Sirius groaned. "Three more months of our lives, just gone."

They looked at each other for a moment, then both laughed. Remus picked up the bottle to pour them another shot, and was a bit dismayed to find it empty.

"Well, we've killed it," he said lightly.

"We could always refill it, you know," Sirius said.

"Do we really need more?"

"I suppose not," Sirius sighed. "Well, I guess you were wrong about one thing."

"What's that?"

"We're not seventh years anymore."

"Why do you say that?"

"In seventh year, we would never have thought to cut ourselves off."

* * *

"Do you think I was wrong in how I handled the situation?"

Dana smiled sadly as she looked across the kitchen table into Olivia's miserable face. "Of course not. You love him, Liv. You don't want to see him sink into depression. You tried to bring him back."

"But I should have tried harder," Olivia sighed. She wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks. "I should have stayed. I never should have let him convince me to leave like that."

"You weren't getting through to him," Dana replied. "You can only try for so long before you give up."

Olivia fiddled with her teacup. "I shouldn't have given up."

"Liv . . ."

"No, Dana, really. I love him and I want to help him. How could I have let him get my temper up like that? How could I have let him convince me that I should walk away?"

Dana smiled. "Because this is you and Sirius that we're talking about. At Hogwarts, the two of you were famous for your explosive battles. It's in the nature of your relationship to argue. It always has been. You know how to push each other's buttons and you know how to hit one another where it hurts." She reached across to cover Olivia's hand with her own. "But, you also know how to humble yourselves enough to apologize after every fight. For every mean word you hurl at one another, there's a kiss waiting to more than make up for it."

Olivia looked at her silently for a moment, then smiled. "You're right."

Encouraged by the first smile she had seen on Olivia's face during their visit, Dana smiled back. "Feel a bit better?"

"I feel _much_ better," Olivia corrected. "I feel better enough to go find Sirius. The argument is over – it's time to let those kisses work their magic."


	23. Heart Stopping

A/N: I'm back in action! I'm sorry for my "hiatus," but the school year had to end somehow – and that meant that I had a lot of work to do. My summer schedule is updated on my profile page, but, hopefully, my updates will be far more regular for the next couple months. I'll make every effort to update once more this week before leaving for vacation on Thursday!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, and especially for your patience! I hope you enjoy this chapter…despite its content.

Some material in the final scene of the chapter is taken from pages 806 – 808 of the American hardback edition of _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ by JK Rowling. I have no ownership of these words, and do not attempt to claim them as my own. I do not have ownership of any part of the Harry Potter universe.

Heart Stopping

Sirius gave an exclamation of frustration as he threw yet another balled up piece of parchment on the floor. He looked down to see the fruit of several hours' work surrounding his desk in the library.

"Why is this so bloody hard?" he groaned. He reached up to clutch his hair, then smiled a bittersweet smile as he realized where he had picked up that gesture.

"James, I could really use your help now," he muttered. "I was never any good with this sort of thing. How can I write a letter of apology to Olivia without your help?"

He closed his eyes, trying to visualize his fallen best friend. He could see James laughing at Sirius as he ran his hand through his hair.

"It's not so hard," James would have said. "Just tell her that it's all your fault and that you love her. Oh, and add something about how you're not sure how she puts up with you, because, personally, I've never quite figured that one out."

Sirius smiled as he opened his eyes. The one thing that he knew was true from his daydream was that he loved Olivia. He just needed to find a way to tell her. He sighed, thinking that he probably _was_ making this far harder than it needed to be.

He picked up another piece of parchment and loaded his quill with ink. It was time to do some serious writing.

He had no sooner touched his quill to the parchment than the door clicked open. Expecting to see Remus, he didn't even lift his head.

"At least let me write the greeting before we start talking," he said.

"If that's what you want."

Sirius's head jerked up at the sound of a voice that was decidedly not Remus's. "Liv," he whispered.

"Sirius," she said, her own voice just above a whisper.

They stared at one another for what felt like years. Olivia opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. Like Sirius, she couldn't find the words to apologize. Then, thinking of her conversation with Dana, she crossed the room in quick strides. Sirius looked up at her questioningly as she put a hand on each of his shoulders. Then, she leaned down slowly, and pressed her lips against his.

Sirius responded immediately, kissing her back, winding his arms around her waist, pulling her down into his lap. After several moments of heated kissing, Sirius pulled back to look into her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I never should have said the things I did."

"Oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry," she said, tears forming in her eyes. "After all the years we lost, I can't believe I wasted a moment of our time together with a stupid argument."

"You're right," Sirius sighed. "We should know better."

"Yeah," she smiled, kissing his jaw, "we should, shouldn't we?"

"But this part is nice, isn't it?" he said, gently touching her.

"It's almost reason enough to fight again."

"Well, we can, if you'd like."

She pulled back to smile at him. "I don't think we've properly made up yet after our last fight, do you?"

* * *

Remus was sitting at his desk writing a letter to Laura when an owl flew into the room. He immediately recognized it as a Hogwarts owl, and frowned slightly as he took the letter it carried.

"Thank you," he said as the owl took flight again.

He opened the parchment in his hands to find a brief missive from Dumbledore requesting a meeting at Remus's earliest convenience. He smiled slightly, wondering if the Headmaster had any idea how few commitments Remus truly had. Anytime was convenient for him.

Despite the fact that he had plenty of time to meet with him, Remus was a bit worried about the summons. Dumbledore was hiding most successfully from the Ministry. Would Remus in any way jeopardize his safety by going to meet with him?

Surely not. Dumbledore was wiser than to endanger his own well being just to have a conversation with an Order member. Remus read the letter through for a second time, his eyes lingering on Dumbledore's instructions about Apparition. He asked Remus to Apparate to Dumbledore Manor, but did not give any further information about the location.

"That must be where he's been hiding," Remus murmured. Despite his concern over being summoned the side of a man who was in hiding from the government, he couldn't help a feeling of excitement. The Order had been quietly questioning where Dumbledore was ever since the day he had left Hogwarts. At last, it seemed, Remus was going to uncover some answers.

Deciding that it would be better to talk to Dumbledore as soon as possible, Remus Disapparated almost immediately. When he reached his destination, he opened his eyes to see Dumbledore's home away from Hogwarts. The house was small, but richly appointed. It was obvious that Dumbledore had created a very comfortable nest for himself far away from prying eyes. After looking at the house for a moment, Remus walked up to the front door, and knocked. He only waited a moment before it was opened by a house-elf.

"Good evening, sir," the elf said uncertainly.

"Hello," Remus answered. "I'm Remus Lupin. Professor Dumbledore asked me to come to see him."

"Ah, yes, sir," the elf replied. "Please, sir, come in."

The elf opened the door wider, and Remus stepped into the entrance hall.

"I will get Professor Dumbledore. You wait here, sir."

"Thank you," Remus said, watching as the elf scurried off.

Left alone in the hall, he looked around. The room contained a multitude of pictures. Remus looked at those closest to him. He was unsurprised to see many pictures of Hogwarts decorating the walls. There were pictures of the outside of the castle, of the Great Hall, of the Transfiguration classroom and of the students. Picture after picture showed smiling Hogwarts students. Some clearly had posed for their pictures, but many were caught unawares. Remus looked at the mostly-unknown students with a vague smile. He walked along examining them until one made him stop and catch his breath.

It was a picture of him. Not only of him, but of him with his friends. He was in the Great Hall, sitting between Sirius and Dana. Olivia was on Sirius's other side, her hand held firmly in his. James and Lily sat across from them, next to Peter and Kathleen. Head Boy and Girl badges gleamed on James's and Lily's chests; the picture was clearly from seventh year. They were all laughing over something. Remus stared at the picture almost hungrily, wishing there was a way to make it all real again. They had been so happy. Why had it all been torn apart?

"Found someone you know?"

Remus nearly jumped out of his skin as Dumbledore appeared beside him. "Hello, Professor," he said.

Dumbledore smiled at him. "I have pictures of every student I've taught at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm glad you found yours."

Remus sighed. "We were all so happy."

Dumbledore nodded. "The young always are. They are completely innocent – ignorant of life's horrors. I like to think that we can help them remain that way while they are at Hogwarts. I like the idea that their most horrifying problem is having homework left to do on a Sunday night when they'd far rather sneak food from the kitchens with their friends."

"We were like that then," he said, indicating the picture. "Things didn't start to unravel until later, when Kathleen died."

"Yes, that was tragic," Dumbledore said sadly. "She was a sweet girl – an excellent student. Her life should never have ended as it did."

Remus nodded silently.

Dumbledore moved further down the hall. "This picture might interest you, as well."

Remus followed him, and looked at the picture he indicated. He found himself staring at Harry, Hermione and Ron, who were also in the Great Hall. Harry and Ron were sitting next to each other, across from Hermione. They were laughing, too – Hermione a bit more reluctantly than the boys – but stopped to wave up at Remus and Dumbledore.

"When was this taken?" Remus asked, grinning at the teenagers.

"At the beginning of last year," Dumbledore replied. "Before the champions were chosen."

Remus nodded, thinking of all that Harry had endured since that picture had been taken. "Harry hasn't exactly remained innocent, has he?" he said without thinking.

"Harry's innocence was stripped from him the night that his parents were killed," Dumbledore said sadly. "I tried so hard for so long to recapture it for him, but that has proven to be an impossible task." He paused. "He has borne up beautifully, though. Lily and James would be so proud of him. I know that I am."

Remus nodded. "We all are."

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, then smiled at Remus. "I didn't expect to see you here so soon."

Remus smiled slightly. "Your letter said at my earliest convenience; this is it."

"Excellent," Dumbledore said. "We do have important matters to discuss. Shall we sit down to do that?"

"Of course," Remus replied, following Dumbledore into the library.

Dumbledore's library was what Remus had always expected it to be. It was a massive room; the walls were all covered by floor to ceiling bookshelves. For some reason, Remus thought of Hermione. He was sure that the young girl's head would explode if she could see the sheer volume of books in this room.

"Please, sit down," Dumbledore said, indicating several squashy chairs in the center of the room. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

Dumbledore nodded, and conjured himself a glass of mead. "Remus, I've asked you here to discuss your work for the Order."

Remus nodded.

"For quite some time now, you have proven yourself an invaluable resource to us. You have gone into werewolf colonies and brought us information that we could never have otherwise attained. Now, today, I must ask you to take your work to the next level."

"You want me to go in openly, don't you?" Remus said with a bit of dread.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. He looked away for a moment, then looked back at Remus. "You know I would never ask this of you if it wasn't of the utmost importance. I wish there was another way."

"No, I understand," Remus said. "It has to be done, and I am the only one who can do it." He sighed. "Maybe I'll be able to convince them to work with us. Even if I can bring just a few to our way of thinking, it will help."

"I'm sorry, Remus," Dumbledore said.

"No, don't be," Remus replied. "I think the most important thing in all of this is that I can do something to help. It may not be my first choice of a mission, but I can't deny its importance. And, truly, there is no one else to send into this sort of situation."

"A fine attitude," Dumbledore smiled. "I will leave sorting the details to you. You can decide the dates you are there and for how long you remain. I only ask that you report back any information in the most timely manner possible."

"Of course."

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Do you believe you have enough background information at this point to enter into the colony openly?"

"I have a trip scheduled for later this week," Remus said. "I had only intended to be there for a day, gathering some last details. I'll keep those plans, and then consider when I can begin true infiltration."

"Thank you, Remus." He paused. "You know, I said before that I was proud of Harry."

"Yes?"

Dumbledore smiled gently. "I want you to know that I have always been proud of you, too."

* * *

Sirius walked into Remus's room to find his friend tossing parchment and quills into a bag.

"Off into the unknown wilds again?" he asked lightly.

Remus looked at him darkly. "You're in an awfully good mood."

"Ah, what is there to be upset about? All is right with the world," Sirius said as he sat down on Remus's bed.

"Translation: Olivia has been here every day for the past two weeks, shagging you senseless."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

Remus looked at him in horror. "I would _never_ shag Olivia!"

"I don't think she'd take it all that well to hear you say something like that."

Remus laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. She's gorgeous and she knows it. I just meant – Liv is like a sister to me. The idea of even considering shagging her is stomach-turning."

Sirius laughed. "You really know how to sweet-talk a woman, don't you?"

Remus smiled. "That was always your area of expertise, not mine."

"I think you did all right for yourself."

"Even without the ability to sweet-talk?" Remus smiled.

Sirius gave him a mischievous grin. "I don't think Tonks finds anything wrong with your ability to sweet-talk."

"Come off it," Remus said, closing his bag with a snap.

"You've decided not to tell her how you feel?" Sirius asked in surprise.

"No."

"So you will tell her?"

"I didn't say that."

Sirius sighed. "So we're still analyzing."

"Yes."

"You do realize how maddening you are, don't you?"

Remus sighed. "I just don't want to make the wrong decision, Padfoot. I can't afford to screw this up."

"I don't see how starting a relationship with someone for whom you have very strong feelings – and, I might add, who has very strong feelings for you – can be considered screwing up."

"I just don't want to lose a friend over this," he sighed.

Sirius made a face at him. "_I'm_ not going to be your friend for much longer if you don't just tell her how you feel."

"Threaten all you like, but you're stuck with me as a friend," Remus said lightly. "It's been too many years, and we've been through too much together to give up this friendship now."

"Yeah, you're right on that one," Sirius grinned.

Remus looked at him for a moment, thinking of all the years he had spent hating Sirius, thinking that Peter was dead, wishing that Sirius had died with Peter. "I'm sorry," he blurted out.

Sirius looked at him in confusion. "Come again?"

"If I had just used my head all those years ago, we might not have lost any time in this friendship. I should have known that you would never do anything to hurt Harry or Lily – or especially James. I should have stood up for you. I should have realized that Peter …" He sighed. "I'm sorry for ever doubting you."

"I'm just as guilty of doubting you," Sirius sighed. "If _I_ had used _my_ head, I would have realized that you would never do anything to hurt your friends. I would have realized that Peter was the one who couldn't resist the allure of powerful friends, not you. I would have seen that making him their Secret Keeper would sentence James and Lily to death." He paused. "We wronged one another, Moony. Neither of us is a 'worse friend' than the other. We're even, and, more importantly, we've forgiven one another."

Remus nodded. "Thank you."

"And thank you." Sirius sighed. "I don't know if I would have made it through these last couple years without you, Moony."

Remus smiled sadly. "Neither would I."

* * *

Left alone once again in the house, Sirius found himself in a rather introspective mood. For some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about all that Harry had seen in the penseive, and Snape's reaction to it. He knew how horrible their relationship had been as teenagers, but he couldn't understand Snape's complete inability to let go of the past. Aside from all that had happened between Snape and Harry after Harry had witnessed the memory of the scene by the lake, Sirius kept thinking of his own brief encounters with the man. He knew that he was letting Snape get to him and that he shouldn't lose his temper as easily as he did, but he couldn't understand why Snape would constantly provoke him. Remus never let himself lose his temper with Snape, nor did he insult him into anger. Why couldn't he and Snape take their cue from Lupin?

Acknowledging that he would never be able to understand how Snape's mind worked, Sirius considered the other person who had been profoundly affected by the experience with the penseive. He was finally beginning to think of the toll that seeing his father's younger days had taken on Harry. He replayed that moment by the lake all those years ago over and over again, trying to see it from Harry's perspective. Harry did not see it as a game as he and James had at the time. Harry didn't seem to understand – but, then, he couldn't possibly understand. He hadn't been there. He didn't know all the history that existed between James and Snape. He didn't know of James's all-consuming desire to impress Lily. He didn't know how much people changed after the age of fifteen. He didn't know that, even though the fifteen-year-old James did need to calm down and deflate his ego, he was a wonderful person. He didn't know how James had devoted his life to all those around him: to his parents, to his wife, to his son, to his friends . . . to Sirius.

Sirius felt his throat tighten as he thought of all that James had done for him during their years of friendship. He had demanded so little in return, really – just that Sirius keep him, Lily and Harry safe. After all James had done for him, how could Sirius have failed him?

"I won't fail you this time, James," he swore. "I'll keep Harry safe if it's the last thing I do."

He closed his eyes, and he was sure that he could see James smiling at him, confident that Sirius would take care of Harry as he had promised to do. He smiled back, wishing more than anything that his vision of his friend were a reality.

"Master, the animal is injured."

Sirius's eyes flew open. He looked at Kreacher with unveiled contempt. "What did you say?"

"The animal is hurt," Kreacher said again.

"What happened to him?" Sirius asked. "Is he hurt badly?

Without waiting for a reply, he jumped up out of his chair and ran upstairs. How could Buckbeak possibly have hurt himself in the attic? Aside from his obvious concern for Buckbeak himself, Sirius hated the idea of telling Hagrid that something had happened to his hippogriff. He had to find a way to help him.

He opened the attic door slowly, not wanting to frighten Buckbeak. He peeked his head around the door, and saw the hippogriff lying against the wall, one of his wings at an odd angle.

"Hey, Beaky," he said softly, bowing to the hippogriff. "Are you hurt?"

The animal bowed back, and made a rather pathetic cooing sound. Sirius walked into the room fully, his face etched with concern.

"How could this have happened?" he asked. "You weren't trying to fly away, were you?"

He crouched down next to Buckbeak and pulled out his wand, trying to heal the wing. While he didn't make it worse, he didn't manage to make it all that much better. After several attempts, he rocked back on his heels.

"Well, maybe we need someone with a bit more expertise," he said. "Remus should be home soon; I'm sure he'll be able to fix this wing for you quite easily."

He was about to try to mend the wing again when a silvery Patronus entered the room. He immediately recognized the fox form as a messenger from Snape; but was rather surprised to find the message asking where he was.

"Where do you think?" he muttered to himself. He sent a message back with his location, wondering why Snape would bother to send such a ridiculous question.

"Right, Buckbeak, I don't think I can fix this," he said. "I'll send Remus up as soon as he gets home, all right?"

Buckbeak nudged his cheek with his beak as if to tell him not to worry. Sirius smiled and patted his beak.

"You'll be fine," he assured him. "I'm sure Remus can make everything right again."

With a parting smile, Sirius descended the stairs. He was surprised to see a rather large group in the kitchen when he entered the room. Remus was home, along with Tonks, Kingsley and Moody.

"Well, I didn't expect to have so much company this afternoon," he said.

"Moody wanted us to come over to discuss some schedule changes," Tonks said. "He has some idea that the Death Eaters are going to try a run on the school."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "I thought we were using all our manpower to guard the Ministry! Isn't that where Voldemort is supposed to be concentrating his efforts?"

"Yes," Moody said gruffly, "but I'm concerned about the Potter boy."

"Of course you are!" Sirius cried. "He's Voldemort's number one target!"

"We're all worried about Harry, Moody," Remus said in an attempt to smooth over the situation. "What is it you want us to do to protect him?"

"With all that's happened recently, Snape is the only Order member left at Hogwarts," Moody said. "Dumbledore and Hagrid were both run out, and McGonagall is in St. Mungo's, recovering. We need someone other than Snape there."

"Do you want Tonks and I on-site?" Kingsley asked.

"I can make myself look like a student, if that's what you're going for," Tonks offered.

Moody looked at them appraisingly. "That might be what we need, actually. Shacklebolt, any chance you could pose as a teacher?"

"I don't know that Umbridge would go for that," Kingsley said slowly.

The fireplace jumped to life, and Snape's face appeared in the grate.

"Well, speak of the devil," Moody said. "Our lone connection within the hallowed walls of Hogwarts."

"Is Black there?" Snape asked tensely.

"I'm right here," Sirius said, stepping forward. He frowned. "What's with the dire messages asking where I am?"

"Potter thinks you're in the Department of Mysteries," Snape said, his voice nearly cracking with tension. "I can only guess why, but I assume he had another 'dream' – I believe that this one was a vision placed in his mind by the Dark Lord to lure him there."

"He hasn't gone, has he?" Remus asked, his own voice tense. "He's still at Hogwarts, isn't he?"

Snape frowned. "I don't know."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius asked.

"The last time I saw him, he was headed into the forest with Granger and Umbridge." He paused. "I haven't seen any one of them come out."

"Oh, that can't be good," Tonks said.

"How long ago was that?" Remus asked.

"Long enough to be worried," Snape said.

"Do you think they met something in the forest?" Kingsley asked, obviously making an effort to remain calm.

"I think it more likely that they found a way to get to the Ministry," Snape said. "Potter is quite convinced that Black is there, being tortured by the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters. You all know as well as I do that Potter never misses a chance to play the hero."

"He's gone to the Ministry," Sirius said, his lips cold. "He's trying to save me."

"We need to get over there," Moody said at once. "Potter and Granger are putting themselves into a ridiculous amount of danger."

"Let's go, then," Tonks said, already reaching for her wand.

"The Department of Mysteries, right?" Kingsley said, preparing to Disapparate.

"Wait," Moody said. "Before we go, we need to make sure we have everything covered. Does Dumbledore know what's happened?"

"I've alerted him that we need him at Headquarters," Snape said. "He should be here any moment." He paused. "Black, you should stay there to tell him what's happened."

"You want me to stay here while the rest of you go to save Harry?" he asked incredulously. "There is no way in hell that I'm letting that happen!"

"Sirius, be reasonable," Remus said. "You can't go the _Ministry_ of all places, you know that …"

"No, Remus, you be reasonable!" Sirius shouted. "This is _Harry_ we're talking about! Harry! Harry, James's Harry, who has walked into a horrible trap all because he thinks that I'm in danger! How can you expect me to just sit here and wait to hear what's happened to him?"

"Sirius …"

"You know where I stand on this, Remus," Sirius said in a low voice. "I've told you before how I feel. You know what I have to do."

Every conversation they had had about Harry ran through Remus's mind in the moments before he responded. And, although the conversations were many, only one image truly clear to him: the image of Sirius's tear-filled eyes as he told Remus of the unspeakable guilt he felt over James's death, of the immense obligation he felt to keep Harry safe. Sirius had promised James that he would defend his son to the death. There was no way Remus could have stepped between Sirius and James when they were classmates at Hogwarts; there was even less of a possibility that he could do so now.

"All right," he said quietly. "You're right. I know what this means to you. I know that you … I know what James would want."

"Thank you," Sirius said quietly. "Thank you, Moony."

"The best way you can thank me is by coming out of this alive, ready to fight for Harry another day."

Sirius grinned. "I can't give up on him now."

"Who's going to tell Dumbledore what's going on?" Tonks asked. She had no idea what her cousin and friend were talking about, but felt that someone had to be the voice of reason in this group.

"That's easy enough," Sirius said. "Kreacher! I need you to do something for me!"

* * *

The small group made its way into the Department of Mysteries. Tonks looked at Remus and Sirius, whose faces were set, prepared for battle.

"What do you think are the chances that only Harry and Hermione are here?" she asked.

"Slim to none," Remus said. "Harry and Hermione would never have come without Ron."

"I hope it's just the three of them," Sirius said stiffly. "You don't think they would have brought any others, do you?"

The sounds of battle reached them, telling them where the teenagers were struggling with the Death Eaters. They all exchanged a dark look as they realized what room they were in.

"This is it," Moody said. "You've all done this before. You know what to do." He gave Sirius and Remus a jagged smile. "Let's see if the two of you remember all Frank and I taught you."

With those words, he threw the door open, and they ran into the room that was home to the study of death.

* * *

It was as though the past fourteen years had never happened. Sirius immediately slipped back into the battle tactics he had learned as an Auror so many years before. He felt all emotion – except the desire to fight, to win – leave his body. He felt his expressionless "Auror mask," as James would have said, fall over his face.

He ran through the room, dueling, stunning, fighting, but never, never killing. Moody had taught him better than that. He knew that the proper thing to do was to incapacitate the Death Eaters, and, later, to take them to the Ministry for a trial.

He nearly laughed at that thought. With the current state of the Ministry, would there ever be a trial for any of them?

As quickly as it had come, the amusement was gone – the battle entered into again.

Sirius only slipped when he saw Harry. For some reason, it was impossible to maintain his emotionless Auror mask with his godson. He shouted words of encouragement, warnings to get out of the room. Then, he returned to the fight before him. _Save Harry_. It was the mantra that ran through his head over and over, his sole motivation for fighting. _Save Harry_.

_I won't let you down, James. Not this time._

* * *

Tonks couldn't help but recognize the irony of this situation. For years, her mother had warned her against associating with the Black family. She had told her time and again that they believed in purity of blood and the dark arts. She had always said that the smartest thing she had done in her life was marrying and getting away from her family. Now, Tonks was doing that which her mother had always said not to do: associating with her family.

Yet, as she dueled with her Aunt Bella, she wondered if her mother would mind.

Bellatrix Lestrange was a skilled fighter; Tonks had to call upon every last trick learned during her Auror training to battle against her. As she hurled curses at the woman she knew to be her mother's sister, she wondered if Bellatrix recognized her.

"Tell me, do you know who I am?" she yelled as she shot a jet of purple light at Bellatrix.

"One of them," Bella said casually, firing a curse back at her.

Tonks smiled, and let her hair fade back to its natural mousy brown and her features melt back into their normal appearance. "Oh, Aunt Bella, I'm sure you can be more specific than that."

"You!" Bellatrix roared in shock. "You're one of them!"

"Oh, yes."

Her face twisted into a scowl. "I'm sure my dear sister is ever so proud of her daughter."

"She is," Tonks replied, feeling a surge of pride in her mother for leaving these people and this life behind.

"Let's see how she likes you now!"

Bellatrix hurled a rapid succession of curses at Tonks. While she managed to dodge the first several, two struck her at once. Tonks careened off her feet and fell forward. She began to topple over herself, falling down the hard, stone steps. She finally reached the bottom, and merciful blackness took over.

* * *

Sirius watched in horror as Tonks fell.

"You _bitch_!" he yelled. He lunged forward to fight Bellatrix, wanting to tear her apart with his bare hands.

"Ah, my dear cousin!" she exclaimed. "How lovely to see you outside of Azkaban!"

"How could you do that to your own niece?" he yelled.

"The same way I can do it to you," she hissed, sending a curse flying at him.

And so began the duel that represented Sirius's life – his constant battle against his family.

* * *

Remus fought against the Death Eaters as hard as he could, shocked at how quickly he fell back into the rhythm of battle. It had been over a decade since he had lifted his wand against another person, yet his reactions were as though he had just finished his Order training the week before. He knew that Moody would be pleased to see how well he had retained those long-ago lessons.

He saw Harry and Neville motionless on the steps and felt a surge of frustration. Why wouldn't they just leave? They needed to get out of the Ministry. Couldn't they see how dangerous this was? Didn't they understand the magnitude of the situation?

Then he realized what they were watching. Dumbledore had arrived at last. Remus felt a surge of hope. There was no way they could fail – not with Dumbledore on the scene.

All the duelers stopped, with the exception of Sirius and Bellatrix, who danced around the dais holding the veil as they fought. Looking at them, Remus realized exactly how personal their duel was. They weren't battling over a prophecy or Harry or the war. They were truly fighting _one another_. They were each trying to prove their superiority – in battle skills, in life decisions.

Sirius yelled something to Bellatrix and laughed at her. She looked enraged at the idea of _Sirius_ laughing at her, and hurled another curse at him. Remus wanted to scream for him to duck, but there just wasn't time.

The curse struck Sirius's chest and his eyes widened his surprise. He fell backwards, straight into the veil. Remus's eyes and mouth opened wide. He wanted to scream, but couldn't find his voice.

As Sirius disappeared, Remus heard thunderous steps coming from behind him. He turned in time to see Harry sprinting forward, desperate to save his godfather. Knowing what Harry was about to do, Remus lunged forward and grabbed him around the chest.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry –" he said desperately.

"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!" Harry begged.

"It's too late, Harry –"

""We can still reach him –" Harry begged, struggling against Remus's grip of iron.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry … nothing …" Remus knew that his next words would rip Harry's heart apart as much as they would his own, "He's gone."

"He hasn't gone!" Harry yelled. "SIRIUS! SIRIUS!"

"He can't come back, Harry," Remus said, his voice catching. "He can't come back, because he's d-"

"HE IS NOT DEAD! SIRIUS!"

Remus wanted to say the words, to make him understand the truth, but he couldn't say them. He couldn't bring himself to tell Harry again what had happened.

Remus's silence made more of an impression on Harry than any words could have. Some of the fight began to leave Harry as he realized the truth. By the time Neville came over to speak to him, he had stopped struggling against Remus's grip. Unwilling to let go of Harry, Remus held on to his arm as he muttered the spell to free Neville of the curse that forced him to do an endless tap dance.

"Let's find the others," he said to the boys. He needed – desperately – to focus on something other than the fact that his one of his last surviving childhood friends had just died. "Where are they all, Neville?"

Neville began to describe what had happened to the other teenagers when a commotion alerted them to the fact that Bellatrix was again on the run. Harry wrenched his arm free of Remus's grip.

"Harry – no!" Remus yelled.

"SHE KILLED SIRIUS! SHE KILLED HIM – I'LL KILL HER!"

"Harry! Wait – stop!" Remus yelled.

It was too late. Harry was gone, running after Bellatrix, desperate to avenge his godfather's death. Remus jumped up to sprint after him, but Dumbledore stopped him with a wave of his hand.

"I'll take care of him," he said. "You get the others – send the students back to Hogwarts."

Remus nodded shakily. He had promised Sirius … he was supposed to do his best to defend Harry … he couldn't break his promise to Sirius … not now …

But, Remus knew that no one could defend Harry the way that Dumbledore could … he would be fine … James and Lily's little boy would be fine …

Remus began to shake uncontrollably.

"Professor?" Neville asked, touching his arm. "Are you all right?"

Remus looked around him. He saw Moody, barely able to sit up, trying to help Tonks. He saw Kingsley bringing Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna into the room. He saw all the Death Eaters immobilized on the floor. He saw the veil swaying gently as though caught in a slight breeze.

The veil.

Sirius had passed through the veil.

Sirius was gone.

Remus sank down to the nearest step and buried his face in his hands.


	24. Broken Hearts

A/N: I'm sorry to have to tell you that I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow, which means a serious lull in updates. I plan to post the next chapter on 11 July.

Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter. It killed me to let Sirius die – aside from the lack of time I had to devote to it, I think that chapter took me forever to write just because I didn't want to do it. I hope I did him justice.

Thank you again for reading and reviewing. I hope you like this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Broken Hearts

"Remus. Remus, are you all right? Can you hear me?"

With momentous effort, Remus turned to look at Kingsley. "I can hear you," he muttered. He swallowed hard. "I'm fine."

Kingsley looked at him sympathetically. "Listen, Remus, we need to get everyone back to Hogwarts. It's safe there, and Madam Pomfrey will be able to heal everyone – a couple of the kids are really hurt, and I think that Tonks and Moody need some special attention."

Finally fully realizing that others were injured, Remus jumped to his feet. "Where is everyone?"

"Over there," Kingsley said, indicating the section of the room where he had left all the wounded.

Remus hurried across the room with Kingsley and Neville at his side. He grimaced as he looked at the teenagers, his eyes lingering on Hermione, who looked the worst of all of them as she lay motionless on the ground.

"What happened to the students?"

"I'm still trying to piece the details together," Kingsley replied. "I'm sure Neville will be able to help us with that."

Neville nodded, his face reflecting the importance he felt at being trusted to give his account of the night's events.

"What happened to Moody and Tonks?" Remus asked.

"I didn't see what happened to Moody," Kingsley said. "Tonks was dueling with Bellatrix Lestrange – she was hit with at least one curse, then fell down the steps. She's been out cold ever since then."

Remus cringed at the thought of the abuse her body had taken. "At least she's beyond the pain."

"For now," Kingsley agreed. "I'm sure she'll feel it when she wakes up."

Remus nodded, and looked around. "Are Dumbledore and Harry back yet?"

Kingsley shook his head. "To be honest, Remus, I think it would be better if we got everyone out of here without waiting for them. It just doesn't feel right to me … it's like something horrible is about to happen. I don't want these kids here when all hell breaks loose."

Remus nodded. "You're right. Let's get everyone back to Hogwarts."

* * *

Madam Pomfrey had apparently been alerted that they were on their way; she was waiting for them when they arrived. She shook her head as she looked at all the wounded teenagers and adults shuffling into her office.

"Remus, how well do you remember your healing charms?" she asked.

"Well enough," he said.

"Good," she said. "See what you can do for Neville and Luna."

As he crossed the room to tend to his former students, Remus wanted to hug Madam Pomfrey. This was exactly what he needed – a distraction that would keep him from thinking about Sirius.

He healed Neville and Luna quickly, and looked to see if he could help someone else. Moody was already healed and barking orders at Kingsley, who looked almost as if he was listening to the older man just to placate him. Ron and Hermione were lying on cots next to one another. Hermione was out cold, but Ron was awake and laughing for no apparent reason. Remus let his eyes skim over them all until they fell on Tonks.

She was lying motionless on a cot, her face nearly as pale as the sheets beneath her. Madam Pomfrey was bending over her, clicking her tongue as she tried one spell after another to no avail.

Remus crossed to stand beside them. He looked down at Tonks a bit fearfully.

"How is she?" he asked.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head. "She needs more medical attention than I can give her here."

"You're sending her to St. Mungo's?" Remus asked in surprise. His own personal experience had taught him just how talented Madam Pomfrey was. If she couldn't help Tonks, could anyone?

She nodded. "The healers there can help her more than I can."

Remus swallowed, feeling regret fill his entire being. Why, why, _why_ hadn't he just told her how he felt when he had the chance? "Will she be all right?"

"Oh, yes. She'll need to stay with them for a few days, but she'll be fine in the end."

Remus nodded, feeling the first faint glimmers of hope he had known since watching Sirius fall through the veil.

"Everyone will be fine, Remus," she said, patting his cheek. "No lasting damage beyond a few scars."

He released the breath he didn't know he had been holding. "Thank God."

She looked back at Tonks. "I should let her parents know what happened. Did you see the accident? I'm sure they'll want to hear about it."

Remus shook his head. "Kingsley knows what happened."

She nodded, looking at him deeply. "Are you and Tonks …?"

"Are we what?" he asked, suddenly incredibly tired.

Madam Pomfrey couldn't seem to find the words she wanted to use, and so asked another, somewhat related question. "Do you want to go to St. Mungo's with her?"

He smiled sadly, knowing that it was only his own reluctance to admit his feelings that kept him from being the one to accompany her to the hospital. "No, she should be with her family now."

Madam Pomfrey nodded uncertainly. "Is there someone I can call for you? I don't like the idea of you being alone right now."

"No, I'll be fine," he said, smiling sadly again. "There's no one …"

Realization dawned, nearly knocking him off his feet. The color drained from his face, and Madam Pomfrey reached out a hand to steady him.

"Remus, are you all right?"

"I need to get to France," he said in a rush.

"To France?"

"Yes. I need – I need to see Olivia."

* * *

Remus Apparated into Olivia's house, hoping that she would be home. To his dismay, she wasn't there.

"She can't know already," he said. "Please, please, let me be the one to tell her. I don't want her to hear it from someone else – from someone who doesn't know how she feels about him."

He left Olivia's house and ran down the street to Dana's. He threw the door open without knocking and ran into the house.

"Dana!" he yelled. "Dana, are you home?"

Footsteps ran toward him. "Remus?" Dana asked incredulously.

"Uncle Remus!"

Remus embraced Laura as she threw herself into his arms. "Hello, love," he said softly. "I had forgotten that you'd be home already."

"So you didn't come just to see me?" she teased.

"No, darling."

Dana studied Remus's face, horrified by the utter despair etched on his features. Mentally preparing herself for the worst, she felt tears filling her eyes. "What's happened, Remus?" she asked. "You look awful. Something terrible has happened, hasn't it?"

"Do you know where Olivia is?" he asked, releasing his goddaughter.

She shook her head. "No."

"I need to see her."

Dana's hands flew to her mouth. "Is it Sirius?"

Remus nodded.

"Has he been found by the Ministry?"

Remus shook his head.

A tear slipped down Dana's cheek. "Oh, God, no. Please don't tell me …"

Remus put his hands on her shoulders to steady her. "He's gone, Dana. He died."

She gave a cry, and crumpled against him. As she sobbed against his chest, he began to cry with her. It was really true. Sirius, the friend he had rediscovered after so many years, was gone.

The kitchen door banged open and shut. "Dana? Laura? Are you here? I brought breakfast!"

Dana gave a cry, and jumped away from Remus. "Liv?" she called.

Olivia came into the foyer carrying a large paper bag. "I went to get some of those pastries that Laura likes since this is her first breakfast home for the summer …" Her voice died as she realized that Remus was there, and that both he and Dana were in tears. "Remus," she said, her voice tight. "I suppose you haven't come with good news."

"No," he said. He took the bag from her hands and put it on a chair. "Olivia, there's something I need to tell you."

"Say it quickly, Remus," she said, obviously trying to be brave.

He took her hands in his and drew a deep breath. "There was a battle at the Ministry tonight. Have you heard anything yet?"

"No," she said, her eyes widening. "Should I have?"

Remus drew a shaky breath. "The Death Eaters were they. They wanted – they wanted the prophecy about Harry."

"But only Harry or Voldemort could take it from the Ministry," she said.

Remus nodded. "They lured Harry there."

"How could they have done that?"

"They – Voldemort put a vision in his head. Harry thought that Sirius was there, being tortured."

"Oh, God," she moaned, squeezing Remus's hands. "He went to save Sirius, didn't he? Oh, God, Sirius will never forgive himself …"

"Harry's fine," Remus interrupted. "We found out what was happening and went in to get him."

"He's okay," she said, relief obvious on her face. "Who went in after him?"

"Well, I went with Tonks, Moody, Kingsley Shacklebolt and – and Sirius."

"Sirius went into the Ministry?" she yelled. "What is he playing at? Doesn't he realize how dangerous that is?"

"He knew what he was doing," Remus said evenly. "He – he had to save Harry."

"Well, Harry's fine," Olivia said. "He should be happy."

"Yes, Liv, Harry's fine … but Sirius isn't."

"What do you mean? Did the Ministry officials get him?"

Dana gave a muffled cry, and turned away. Olivia looked at her for a minute, then swung her eyes back to Remus's face.

"Remus, please tell me that the Ministry officials got him," she said in a choked voice.

Remus drew another shaky breath. "The battle was in the Department of Mysteries. We – we were in the room where they study death. Do you know it?"

"Yes," she said. "It has that veil in the center …"

Remus nodded. "Sirius was dueling with his cousin Bellatrix. Do you remember her?"

"How could I forget? Her face is all over my office. I can't believe she would show up there. The potential for being caught …"

"I think serving Voldemort carries more weight than anything else," Remus said.

"She dueled with Sirius?"

"Yes. They were up on the dais with the veil … Bellatrix hit Sirius with some curse."

"What curse?"

"I don't know, to be honest. But – Liv, when the curse hit him, it knocked him backwards. He fell … Olivia, Sirius fell through the veil."

Dana gave another choking sob. Laura stepped forward and put her arms around her mother.

Tears filled Olivia's eyes. "Remus. Are you telling me that Sirius – that Sirius is – that Sirius …"

She couldn't even ask the question. Remus felt a tear slide down his own cheek as he nodded.

"Sirius is gone, Liv. He died."

Olivia gave a heart-wrenching cry and began to fall. Remus caught her and grabbed her to his chest. She reached out blindly and twisted her hands into his robes as she began to sob. Remus rocked her back and forth, his own tears falling into her hair.

* * *

Remus held Olivia until she was able to stop crying. By that time, Dana had pulled herself together and made a pot of tea. Olivia accepted a cup from her with shaking hands as she curled up next to Remus on the couch.

"How could this have happened?" she asked numbly. She took a sip of her tea mindlessly. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"None of this was supposed to happen," Remus said. "Kathleen, James, Lily, Peter … none of it should have happened."

Dana ran her hands through her hair. "Do you remember our first day back to school in seventh year? Our biggest concern was that James and Lily would kill one another working together as Head Boy and Girl."

"I wish we could still be that way," Olivia said hoarsely. "James and Lily would still be alive, Kathleen would have kept Peter from Voldemort, Remus would still have Laura, and Sirius …"

Dana and Remus looked at one another as Olivia's voice faded.

"Why did he go?" Olivia asked in a small voice. She turned to Remus, her eyes suddenly flashing with anger. "Why would you let him go? How could you let him do something like that?"

The guilt that he had managed to push aside until now crashed in around Remus. "I tried to tell him …" he said feebly.

"Not hard enough, you didn't!" she yelled. She jumped up from her seat, spilling her tea everywhere. "Dammit, Remus! Why couldn't you have just kept him in that house? Why couldn't you have just made him stay in one place?"

Remus jumped up to face her. "Do you have any idea how he felt?" he yelled. "Do you have any idea how guilty he felt over James's and Lily's deaths? He blamed himself, Liv! He told me time and again that he was the reason they had died! That if it hadn't been for him, they would have been alive!"

"That's ridiculous and he knew it," she said dismissively, tears beginning to run down her face again.

"No, he didn't," Remus said. "I told him over and over that he shouldn't feel responsible, that it was Peter's fault … Liv, the truth is, he was the one James and Lily trusted to keep them safe. They made Peter their Secret Keeper because Sirius wanted the extra protection of the double bluff, but it backfired in their faces. He felt that he let them down – that he failed them.

"But they also trusted him to keep Harry safe. He was his godfather – the one who was supposed to protect him if James and Lily couldn't. How could I fight with that? How could I tell him to sit quietly at home while Harry faced unspeakable danger? How could I convince him not to go?" Tears raced down Remus's face as his voice grew louder and louder. "How could I tell him to wait while I fought Voldemort for him?"

"You should have tried harder!" Olivia yelled. She threw the empty teacup at him. "You should have made him understand! You shouldn't have let him –" She stopped abruptly as she sobbed.

"How could I?" Remus screamed back at her, barely containing his own sobs. "What could I say? I could never compete with James when he was alive, Liv! How was I supposed to compete with his ghost? How was I supposed to tell Sirius to ignore a promise he made to a man that he believed was dead because of him?"

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "Well, you should have a better idea now," she hissed. "You should know exactly how he felt, Remus, because now Sirius is dead because of _you_."

"_Olivia_!" Dana yelled. "How can you even suggest something like that?"

"It's true," Remus said, collapsing back down onto the couch. "I should have tried harder. I shouldn't have let him go."

"No!" Dana cried. She sat down next to Remus and took his hand in hers. "This is _not_ your fault, Remus. We grew up with Sirius. We know – we know the type of man he was. He would never, never have sat at home while Harry was in danger." She looked up at Olivia. "Don't you remember how devoted James and Sirius were to one another? They were more than friends – maybe even more than brothers. James was more of a brother to Sirius than Regulus was, at any rate. Sirius would _never_ have let James walk into danger alone. And, Liv, you know as well as I do that he was as devoted to Harry as he was to James. Remus is right. How could he ever hope to stop Sirius from trying to save Harry?"

"I don't know," Olivia sobbed. "But, Remus, you should have tried harder."

"I did everything I could," Remus said brokenly. "Olivia, do you honestly think I didn't try? Do you think I wanted to come here today and tear your heart apart? I would give anything to be able to change what happened. I would give my life to bring Sirius back to you."

Olivia began to sob even harder as she collapsed on the couch on Remus's other side. "Oh, God, Remus, I'm sorry. I know that Sirius was one of your best friends, too, and I know – I know you would never have tried to hurt him or me."

"It's all right," Remus said, pulling her close.

With Olivia leaning on one side and Dana on the other, Remus finally felt his tears beginning to stop. Maybe, with these two women, the last of his childhood friends, he would begin to find healing.

* * *

Remus stayed with Olivia and Dana for three days. He couldn't help but feel bad for Laura during that time. She was used to seeing him as a cheerful "uncle," not as this melancholy shadow of himself. Promising himself that he would invite her to England for a visit as soon as everything had sorted itself out, he spent as much time as possible trying to keep her from seeing the true depth of his grief.

After three days, they all knew it was time to move on. They had to get back to their normal lives, or they would never move past their grief. Olivia and Dana went back to work, and Remus went back to London.

He didn't want to go back to Grimmauld Place. It was the very last place in the world he thought he needed to be. But, what choice did he have? Even if he wanted to go back to his old house, he knew that he needed to collect his belongings. Besides, Dumbledore probably still wanted him to live in the house to keep their headquarters in order.

Drawing himself up and bracing himself for what lay ahead, he Apparated into the library of Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

"Remus!"

Remus opened his eyes in surprise. He only had time to realize that Tonks was in the room before she had thrown herself into his arms.

"Tonks!" he exclaimed. "Are you all right? How long have you been out of St. Mungo's?"

"I'm fine," she said. "They released me this morning."

"Why aren't you at home resting?" he asked, ever the Healer in training.

She shook her head. "I tried, but I couldn't sit still. I've been really worried about you, Remus. I wanted to talk to you while I was in the hospital, but you never came to visit. I made Kingsley go look for you, but he couldn't find you."

"I've been in France," Remus said. He swallowed hard. "I had to go tell Olivia and Dana about Sirius."

Tonks bit her lower lip. "How did that go?"

"As well as expected."

She nodded. "How are you, Remus?"

He smiled sadly and shrugged. "As well as expected," he said again.

She took his hand and led him to the couch. They sat down together, and she looked deeply into his eyes.

"You can tell me the truth, you know," she said. "I won't break."

"I know that," he said, smiling again.

"Remus," she said, "listen to me. Sirius was my cousin, but he was your best friend. I'm not going to even try to pretend that I understand the pain you're going through, but I'm more than willing to listen if you'd like to talk."

"I think you understand better than you know," Remus said. "I believed he was guilty for all those years, too. Neither of us knew the truth. Both of us had to rebuild our relationships with him over the past couple years."

She nodded. "I wish we could have had more time."

Remus nodded, his eyes shining with tears. _More time_. Hadn't he been living his life as though he would always have more time? Hadn't he wasted weeks and months thinking about how he felt about this woman sitting next to him? Even when he had realized his feelings, he didn't say anything to her, fearing that it would jeopardize their friendship. Did he really have the time to hold his tongue? Shouldn't he tell her what he felt?

"Really, Remus, are you all right?" she asked with concern in her eyes.

"Tonks, I really don't know if I have the strength to talk about this right now."

"All right. Do you want to talk about something else?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her. He wanted to. He had to.

He couldn't.

"I really don't want to talk at all."

She looked at him uncertainly. "Do you want me to go?"

"I don't want to be alone," he said, shaking his head. "Can you just sit with me for a bit?"

"Of course."

They started off sitting next to each other, but soon found their way closer together. Barely realizing what he was doing, Remus put his hand down on Tonks's leg. She glanced at him, then lay her head on his shoulder. He shifted to put his arm around her, holding her against him. Softly sighing, she cuddled against him.

"Tonks?" he said softly.

"Yeah?"

What did he have to lose? With all that had happened recently, he was sure that he needed to tell her. Who knew if he'd have another chance after tonight? He pulled his Gryffindor courage together, and finally said the words that Sirius had been begging him to say for months.

"Tonks, I – I need to tell you something."

"Go ahead."

He drew a steadying breath. "I have feelings for you."

She sat up to look at him. "Feelings?"

"Yes. Romantic feelings."

Her cheeks colored and she bit her lip in an effort to hide the beaming grin that was spreading across her face. "Really?"

He smiled slightly. "Really."

"My God, Remus, I've been waiting to hear you say that for _ages_!"

"You mean, you …?"

She giggled. "I've had a crush on you since we first met."

Remus grinned in spite of himself. Although Sirius was right when he said that Remus had no idea how to sweet talk a woman, Remus was quite sure that he knew how to act. He closed the distance between them, capturing her lips with his.

Remus wanted to cry again as he felt Tonks's lips against his. It had been so, so long … And as their tongues intertwined, as they fell back onto the couch, as he settled on top of her, he realized that what he felt was more than "caring" or "fancying." He didn't have a crush on Tonks – he was falling in love with her.

He was falling in love with her, and he was terrified.


	25. Changes of Heart

A/N: I'm home a bit earlier than planned, so you get this chapter sooner! Unfortunately, there have been some other schedule changes, so I'll be out of town for most of this week. I plan to update again by next Monday. Thanks for your patience, and for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Changes of Heart

"Wait."

"What?" Tonks asked breathlessly as Remus pulled away from her.

"We can do this. Not now." Remus sat up and looked away from her. There were so many conflicting emotions raging through him that he could hardly think straight. Looking into her eyes would only make the confusion worse.

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked, scrambling to sit up next to him on the couch.

"This isn't right," Remus said. He knew that what he was about to say was an excuse, but it was all he could think of. "Sirius …"

"Sirius would be thrilled to know that we've finally acknowledged our feelings," Tonks said. "He wanted us to get together from the day we met."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean …"

"It doesn't mean what?"

"It doesn't mean that we have to be together," Remus nearly whispered. "Tonks, we can't be sure that this is the right thing to do."

"We can't ever be _sure_ of anything," she said. "Isn't that half the fun? The risk? The not knowing?"

Remus looked at her in surprise. She sounded so much like James that he half expected to hear her say James's oft-repeated "we have to live like there's no tomorrow" quote. How many times had he heard James say that? And, more importantly, how many times had he _agreed_ with him? He knew very well that they had to live like they wouldn't have a tomorrow, particularly in times of war, because there was always a chance that they wouldn't. Even so … it was too much of a risk. He couldn't do it.

"I don't know, Tonks …"

"Remus," she sighed, running her hands through her hair, pausing for a moment to hold it back from her face, "we didn't die with him."

Even though he had thrown Sirius's name out as an excuse to keep him from admitting the truth – that he was terrified of falling in love again – she took it at face value, and her words were too much. He thought that he had dealt with his grief while he was in France, he thought that he had cried himself out with Olivia and Dana, but he was wrong. He couldn't handle the simple, honest statement. Maybe thinking of James had something to do with it. He didn't know why, but suddenly, without warning, Remus burst into tears. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. He rocked back and forth as he cried.

Tonks stared at him in shock for a moment, then put her arms around him. She rocked with him, feeling her own tears beginning to fall.

"It's going to be all right, Remus," she said. "It's all going to be all right."

"No, it's not," he sobbed. "Do you have any idea what's happened? I've lost _Sirius_ – my best friend." He pulled back from her embrace so that he could look at her. "I've just spent three days being the rock for Olivia and Dana, but, Tonks, I just can't do it anymore. I was the rock for my friends when Kathleen died, when James and Lily died, when Peter 'died,' when we all blamed Sirius for everything that had happened, when we lost Harry to the Dursleys and when we realized that Sirius had been innocent all along. I can't be the strong one – not again."

"You don't have to be," she said. "Not this time. Let me be the strong one for you, Remus. Let me help you."

"I don't know if I know how to do that," he whispered.

"Remus …"

He shook his head. "Do you know how hard it is for me to let myself go? To depend on someone else?"

"You can depend on me," she said empathetically. "I'll be here for you. I'm not going anywhere. Just … Remus, just let go. I'll help you."

He shook his head again.

She looked at him mutely for a moment, then bit her lip. Why did he have to make it so difficult for her to help him?

He stood up without speaking, and crossed to the mantle. He and Sirius had decorated it with pictures from their childhood. He smiled as he picked up their favorite, a picture taken the morning they had left Hogwarts to go home for Christmas during their seventh year. It was the last picture taken before Kathleen had died – the last one of their entire group.

"We used to be so happy," he said, watching as Sirius and James released their girlfriends to throw arms around each other's shoulders. Tears filled his eyes again. "At least Sirius and James are together again." He paused, and looked at Tonks, who had stepped forward to join him at the mantle. "They were always better friends with each other than I was with either of them, you know. I mean, they were my best friends, but the two of them had a bond like no other. I'm not even sure that Harry and Ron are as close as James and Sirius were."

"They still loved you, Remus," Tonks said quietly.

"Oh, I know," he said quickly. "The sacrifices they made for me, the things they did for me … I've never had such friends. I just wish …"

"What?"

"I wish I still had them," he said, the tears beginning to fall. "I can't believe what's happened to us since this was taken." He held the picture out for her to see. "Look at us."

She smiled slightly as she looked at the picture. "Well, that must be Sirius."

Remus nodded. "He was always the handsome one."

"And this is you, right?" she said.

"Yes."

"Who's the girl you have your arm around?"

"Laura."

She smiled. "Was she your girlfriend?"

"She was then," he replied. "A few years after this was taken, she became my wife."

The color drained from Tonks's face. "Oh, Remus …"

"I loved her so much," he said, tears shining in his eyes. "When she died…" His voice trailed off.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Tonks whispered.

Remus paused for a moment, then began to talk again. "Of all the people in this picture, Tonks, only four of us are still alive." He began pointing to individual faces as he told their histories. "Kathleen was killed during that holiday. Aidan was killed by Death Eaters during a party to celebrate his and Dana's pregnancy. Laura died of heart failure. James and Lily … well, you know what happened to them. Sirius …" His voice trailed off. "There were ten of us in the picture. Ten! These were my best friends, Tonks. These were the people who would have done anything for me, and for whom I would have done anything. Of the ten, only four of us are left. Me, here in England, Dana and Olivia in France, and Peter …" His eyes narrowed into a glare. "Peter was the cause for so much of this."

"Remus, listen to me," she said urgently. "I know that Peter is the reason for so many of the horrible things that have happened, but you can't spend all your energy hating him or being angry at him. It's not going to do you any good." She paused. "One thing that my mother's family has taught me is that hate never does anyone any good. Please, Remus, don't let yourself be caught up in all that hate and anger."

He smiled sadly. "I haven't in all these years. Why would I now?"

"I just …"

He smiled and touched her cheek. "Tonks, I've dealt with more loss than should be allowed by law. I know enough not to let myself wallow in anger and hate. However, I do think that I'm entitled to a little bit of self-pity, don't you?"

"Only a little bit," she said with a ghost of a smile.

Silence fell for a moment. Remus put the picture back on the mantle, and looked at the others. There were so many pictures of them as children, as teenagers, and as young adults. None of the pictures showed them after James and Lily's deaths. In so many ways, it had been the defining moment in all their lives.

"How old are you?" he asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

She looked surprised. "Twenty-three."

He nodded. "By the time I was your age, I had already lost my wife and five of my best friends. Can you imagine what that's like?"

She shook her head. "Remus, to be honest, I can't even imagine being married."

He nodded again. "Losing a friend – a _best_ friend – is … It's completely incomprehensible, the loss that you feel. I don't think it was until James and Lily died that it really caught up with me. Before that, everything had been so spread out. Kathleen died in seventh year, but it was years before we lost Aidan. Then there was Laura … that almost killed me. But, I had my friends. Lily was a rock for me, and Dana was incredible. And, I had the guys – James, Sirius and Peter.

"But when James and Lily died, it was as though the bottom fell out of the world. Because, it wasn't just that they died. It wasn't just that Harry was sent to live with his aunt. It was that Sirius had betrayed them, and had killed Peter along the way. It was as though everything I had believed was gone, all in one fell swoop.

"Then we found out that Sirius was innocent, that we had been wrong …" His voice trailed off into silence.

"But you found out," Tonks said, taking his hand and squeezing it. "Think of all the happiness and excitement … think of the forgiveness that came from that."

Remus nodded. "That meant the world to me, and to Sirius, Olivia and Dana."

Silence fell again as they both focused on the pictures. Remus picked up a picture of James, Lily and Sirius. It had been taken right after Harry's birth. James was in the center of the picture, with one arm around his wife's waist and the other around his best friend's shoulders. Lily, her arms around James, grinned broadly. Sirius, who had told Remus that this picture had been taken shortly after James and Lily had asked him to be Harry's godfather, held the baby. His eyes shone with pride and excitement. After watching the picture for a moment, Remus turned to look at Tonks.

"Do you know what really bothers me right now? I mean, aside from losing my friend?"

"What?"

"That I can't see Harry. I can't even imagine what he's going through. Sirius was the closest thing to a father he's known since James died, and now he's lost him, too."

"Sirius adored him," Tonks said.

Remus nodded. "And he adored Sirius." He sighed. "I just wish I could talk to him. It would make me feel so much better if I could just have one conversation with him."

"Why don't you write to him?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't think this is the sort of thing you can put in a letter."

"No, I suppose not," she agreed. "It's hard, with him trapped at Hogwarts."

Remus nodded. "But at least he's safe there."

"He'll be safe with his family, too."

"Yes, he'll be safe, but he hates his family, he hates staying with them …" He smiled slightly. "I suppose he's like Sirius and your mum in that respect. I just wish there was something I could do to make it more bearable."

Tonks looked thoughtful. "Well, maybe there is."

"What can we do? Dumbledore has made it abundantly clear that he has to go back there every year for his protection."

"Yes, but we can at least talk to his family. We can make sure that they understand that Harry has friends who are going to make sure that he is well cared for."

Remus smiled. "Are you suggesting that we threaten them into being nice to Harry?"

"_Threaten_ sounds so harsh," she said with her eyes twinkling.

Remus grinned. "Let's get Moody in on it."

"Oh, definitely," Tonks said with a matching grin. "Somehow, I think this is right up his alley."

* * *

Tonks stayed with Remus for hours that night. She stayed as he swayed between profound grief over his friend's death, regret over a past that could never be changed, fear for his best friends' only son, and resigned acceptance of his current situation.

"You can leave, you know," Remus said at last. "You don't need to stay here to keep me company. I'll be fine now, I'm sure."

They were sitting outside on the back porch together, watching the stars appear in the night sky. It was getting chilly as it got later, and Tonks shivered slightly before responding to Remus's statement.

"Did it ever occur to you that I'm here as much for _me_ as I am for you?" she asked. "He was my cousin, Remus. And, even more than that, he was my friend. I'm going to miss him, too."

"Tonks," he whispered, reaching out to take her hand, "why didn't you say something sooner? I wouldn't have put all this on you – I wouldn't have made you deal with so much of my baggage."

"I know," she said, squeezing his hand. "That's why I didn't say anything."

Remus didn't say anything for a long moment. How could she be so sweet? So kind? So … wonderful? He didn't know what to say to her, or how to thank her.

He leaned closer to her, and kissed her cheek. She looked up at him in surprise.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I don't deserve a friend like you."

"Yes, you do," she replied softly. "And you have one, so you'd better get used to it."

* * *

While, Remus, Tonks, Moody, Kingsley, the Weasleys and Hermione watched, Harry waved and turned to walk away. His dumbfounded family followed behind him, Petunia clutching Dudley to her as best she could. Even though he hadn't had the chance to speak with him privately as he had hoped, Remus felt infinitely better as he watched Harry leave. He had seen the gratitude and renewed strength reflected in his eyes – in Lily's eyes – and, somehow, he knew that Harry would be fine.

"I can't believe we did that!" Tonks laughed, interrupting his thoughts.

"Why not?" Remus grinned. "It was fun, wasn't it?"

"I wish I could have had more time to talk to that Dursley," Moody growled. "I think he needed a bit more intimidation."

"Were you hoping to have him die on the spot, Moody?" Tonks asked. "I'd say you did a pretty good job of intimidating him."

"I just want to make sure that he got the point," Moody said.

"I'd say he got it," Kingsley said, exchanging an amused look with Tonks.

"I do hope they'll treat Harry better this summer," Molly said with concern in her eyes. "They've been so horrible to him in the past, and after all he's endured …"

"Will Professor Dumbledore let him come to stay with us, Mum?" Ron asked.

"I hope so," Molly replied. "I've spoken to him about it, and he promised to see what he could arrange."

"It would certainly be better for Harry to be with you," Remus said. "As long as Dumbledore thinks he can protect all of you, I don't see why he wouldn't let Harry stay at the Burrow."

"I hope he can come soon," Ron said. He turned to Hermione. "What about you? Can you come to stay with us for the summer?"

"I have to talk to my parents," Hermione said uncertainly.

"We'll talk to them, dear," Molly said. "I'm sure we can work something out."

"Are they aware of … well, current events?" Arthur asked.

"Somewhat," Hermione said. "I didn't want to put too much in writing."

"That's probably for the best," said Remus, who was quite sure that Hermione's "somewhat" meant that her parents had no idea what was going on in their daughter's world. "Do you want me to talk to them, Hermione?"

"If you want," she said a bit carelessly. "I'm sure they'll trust Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. They've never had a problem with me spending time with them in the past."

As if on cue, Hermione's parents stepped over to join the group.

"Hermione, are you ready to leave?" her mother asked.

"Yes, I suppose," she said. "Mum, Mrs. Weasley just invited me to stay with them for part of the summer. May I?"

"I suppose," she replied. "I do want you to stay home for a bit, first, though."

"All right," Hermione agreed. "Harry's going to the Weasleys', too, so the two of us and Ron will be able to get our summer homework done together, you know."

"I know she likes to do schoolwork with her friends," her father said, glancing at his wife over Hermione's head. "But, I agree, Hermione, that you need to spend some time at home."

"All right." She looked at Ron and Ginny. "Will you let me know when Harry is coming? I want to make sure … I just think he's really going to need us."

"Sure," they said together.

She nodded. "All right, then. Well, good bye."

Hermione hugged everyone, then left with her parents. Remus shook his head slightly, certain that the Grangers would never know the true extent of the danger their daughter was in on a daily basis.

"Well, we'd better get these two home," Arthur said, indicating Ron and Ginny. He glanced around. "We probably don't want to stay out in the open for too long."

Ron and Ginny looked at one another and rolled their eyes. Remus, Tonks and Kingsley all saw the exchange; they quickly looked away from each other to keep from laughing.

"Are you two sure you don't want to come home with us?" Molly asked Fred and George.

"We'll be fine, Mum," Fred replied. "We need to get back to work."

She shook her head. "You work too much."

"We do it because we love it, Mum," George said.

Ron and Ginny laughed at that. George frowned at them.

"One day, you two will find something you love," Fred said breezily. "Come on, George. Let's get back to work."

Ron laughed again, but Ginny remained quiet. Watching her, Remus smiled slightly as she turned to look at the place in the crowd where Harry had disappeared.

"Remus, do you want to come out for a bite to eat with us?" Tonks asked, again interrupting his thoughts.

"Us?" Remus asked.

"Kingsley and me," she said. "There's a Muggle restaurant down the street that I love. I've been telling King about it for ages, but he's never been, so I'm going to take him. Do you want to come?"

"Sure," Remus replied. "Lead the way."

They left the station together, and walked a few blocks down the street. Tonks stopped in front of a small restaurant and turned to the two men with a smile.

"Here we are!"

"It doesn't look like much," Kingsley said dubiously.

Tonks shook her head. "Don't judge a book by its cover, King."

Remus opened the door and held it for Tonks. "Well, let's see if this place is all she claims."

"It is," she said as she walked in. She looked over her shoulder at them with a grin. "And more."

Kingsley shrugged at Remus as he followed Tonks into the restaurant.

Remus had to admit that the restaurant was all that Tonks claimed that it would be. It was an older building, which lent quite a bit of character to the atmosphere. The staff was friendly, and the food was wonderful.

"Well," Kingsley said as they left, "I can understand why you like it so much, Tonks. It really is a great place."

"Ha," she grinned. "I knew you'd like it." She poked Remus's side. "You, too. What did you think?"

"It's great," Remus agreed. "I wish I had known about it sooner."

"Excellent," she beamed. "Two new converts."

"You're a bit _too_ excited about this," Kingsley smiled. "Does your father own it?"

"Nope," she said. "I'm just an avid fan."

Kingsley glanced at his watch. "Well, this new convert needs to get to work." He made a face. "It's my paperwork shift today."

"Have fun with that," Tonks said cheerfully.

Kingsley rolled his eyes at her. "I'll do my best. I'll see you tomorrow, partner. Remus, it's been fun, as always. I'll see you at the next meeting."

"I'll be there," Remus smiled.

"Well," Tonks said as Kingsley Disapparated, "would you like to come back to my flat for a bit? We didn't have dessert with dinner, and I have a whole container of chocolate chip ice cream, and no one to help me eat it."

Remus hesitated. He did want to go back to her place – desperately – but was afraid of what would happen. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure he knew what he wanted to have happen. He wanted to kiss her again, he wanted to hold her again, he wanted to talk to her forever … but he was terrified that he might. He knew how easily he could love her, but he didn't want to allow himself that luxury. She was such an amazing person. She deserved so much better than him.

"Come on," Tonks teased. "You don't have better plans, do you?"

How could he turn her down? "No, I suppose not," Remus smiled. "And I can't possibly let you eat all that ice cream alone."

"Exactly," she grinned. "Let's go!"

* * *

After three bowls of ice cream each, Remus and Tonks were both edging toward food comas. They sat on opposite ends of her couch, both leaning heavily on the arms of the piece of furniture.

"I didn't realize that you wanted me to help you eat the entire thing in one sitting," Remus said.

Tonks giggled. "It's hard to stop once you've started. I'm impressed, really, that you kept up with me."

"I'd imagine very few people can," Remus laughed.

She smiled a bittersweet smile. "That's actually my favorite memory of Sirius," she said quietly. "Once, when I was a little girl, he came over to visit unexpectedly. My mum had to run out to the store, so she left me alone with him. Sirius really had no idea what to do with kids, so he opened the freezer and found some ice cream. He said that we should have a contest to see who could eat more."

Remus grinned. "Who won?"

"Sirius, obviously. An eight-year-old girl can't keep up with a twenty-two-year-old man! But, that's when I started being able to eat huge amounts of ice cream in one sitting. I was determined to beat Sirius the next time I saw him." Her smile faded. "That turned out to be the last time I saw him before he was sent to Azkaban. Even so, I couldn't believe that he would do something like that – not to James and Lily. So, I kept up my 'training' so that I'd be ready to go as soon as he was released."

Remus's smile faded, too, but for an entirely different reason. He was realizing anew exactly how young she was.

"Tonks," he said slowly, "this isn't going to work."

"What isn't?" she frowned.

"We can't – we can't be together. Not romantically."

"What are you talking about?" she asked in confusion. "You haven't even given us a chance!"

"It's just not going to work," he sighed.

"Give me one good reason why not," she said, an angry glint coming into her eyes that reminded Remus of Sirius.

"I'll give you four," he said. "First, do you realize what you just said when you told me that story?"

"That I can eat way more ice cream than you?" she asked.

Remus smiled in spite of himself. "No, Tonks, you referenced yourself as a little girl while Sirius – and I – were adults. It's just … I'm too old for you, sweetheart."

"Age is just a number," she said, waving away his concern.

"Not in this case," he said. "It's a huge factor – particularly when compounded by the fact that I'm a werewolf – which is the second reason we can't be together."

"Why would that make a difference?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"It makes all the difference in the world!" he exclaimed.

She shook her head as though saying she could never reason with him. "And you said you have two other reasons why we can't be together?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm unemployed – which means I can't ever do things for you or provide for you as I should."

She rolled her eyes. "You do realize that this isn't the 1950s, right?"

"And finally," he said loudly as though she hadn't spoken, "you're too good for me."

She blinked. "Excuse me?"

He took her hands in his. "Tonks, you are one of the best people I have ever known in my life. I mean that very honestly. But, love, I just don't deserve someone like you."

She pulled her hands back. "Don't you _ever_ do that," she said harshly.

"Do what?"

"Don't you ever say that you aren't good enough for someone or something," she said. "Remus, _you_ are one of the best people _I've_ ever known, and I definitely think that you deserve the best of everything!"

He shook his head. "Tonks, it can't work. I'm too old for you, I'm too poor … I'm a werewolf, for Christ's sake!"

"When have you ever known that to make a difference to me?" she yelled. "Any of it? Remus, I want to be with you, regardless of any obstacles that you can find!"

"No!" he yelled, jumping up off the couch. "It just won't work, Tonks, and I won't let us break our hearts trying to force it to work!"

"Then you're a prat," she said coldly, standing up to look into his face. "You're a complete and utter moron if you're willing to throw away what could be a wonderful relationship all for something that you think _might_ be a problem."

"It _will_ be a problem," he said empathetically. "It's ridiculous to even try!"

"For God's sake, Remus, be reasonable," she yelled. "Can't we at least talk about a way to make this work?"

"No," he said, walking toward the door. "There's no point. Good bye, Tonks."

He walked out the door, leaving her in a towering rage. As soon as the door closed behind him, she screamed in frustration.

"Damn him!" she yelled.

She reached down and grabbed a vase off the table. She hurled it at the door, feeling grim satisfaction in the sound of the glass shattering against the wood.

She knew she couldn't stay in her flat alone. There was one person she needed to talk to, the one person who would be able to help her calm down and rationalize the situation. Closing her eyes, she Disapparated.


	26. Heart to Heart

A/N: It's going to take more than one proclamation from Remus to convince Tonks that they're not meant to be. Don't give up on her so easily!

My next update will be by Wednesday, 19 July. After that, I'm going away for the weekend, so don't expect an update until the following week.

Thanks for your patience, and for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Heart to Heart

Tonks Apparated into her office with a crack. "I can't believe him!" she yelled.

Kingsley jumped a foot. "My God, Tonks!" he yelled. "What are you on about? And what are you _doing_ here? You're not scheduled to work today."

"No, I'm not," she said. She took out her wand and sealed the door shut. "I needed to talk to you. Since I knew you would be here, I came here."

"Amazingly, you came in one piece," he said. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's not a good idea to Apparate when you're under emotional duress? You could have splinched yourself!"

"I'm too good to do something like that," she said with a hint of a smile. "And do you really think that _now_ is the time to chastise me over my Apparation abilities?"

"Okay, I can see that you need to talk," Kingsley said, pushing his reports aside. "Sit down and tell Uncle King what has your knickers in a twist."

"Remus," she said.

"Ah," Kingsley said, leaning back in his chair. "So, the professor has done something to offend you."

"Can I tell you the whole story?"

"Would you stop if I said no?"

"No."

He grinned. "I thought so. All right, let's hear it."

"Right," she said. "Well, you know that I wanted to see Remus while I was in the hospital."

"Yes," Kingsley said with a bit of a grimace. "You made me go all over the UK looking for him."

"Well, he was in France with his friends," she said. "When he came back, I was waiting for him."

"Okay," Kingsley said slowly. "Did you attack him? You're making yourself sound like a bit of a stalker, if you want the truth."

She waved his comment aside, but couldn't help smiling. "I'm not a stalker."

"If you say so."

"Would you just let me talk?"

"Please, continue."

She sighed, then continued her story. "Well, as you can imagine, he was pretty much a mess over Sirius and everything."

"I'm sure he would be," Kingsley said, his eyes reflecting genuine concern. "Did he talk to you about it? He always seems so closed off to me … I almost can't imagine him letting you see him with his guard down."

"Yeah, it took some time," she agreed. "He did eventually open up to me about Sirius … after he opened up about some other things."

"Such as?"

She grinned. "He told me that he has feelings for me."

"Whoa," he said, his eyes widening. "That, my love, is _huge_. What did you say?"

"I told him that I've had a crush on him since we first met."

"And?"

"He kissed me."

Kingsley sat forward in surprise. "He kissed you?" he repeated.

"Yup," Tonks grinned, her cheeks flushing slightly. "It was a fantastic snogging session, King. We were all over that couch."

He made a face. "Too much information," he said. "Can you please tell me exactly which couch it was so that I'll know not to sit on it?"

She waved him off again. "Well, it was cut a bit short."

"Do I want to know?" he asked with the same pained expression.

"Remus stopped it," she said.

"Why?"

"He said something about Sirius and it not being right," she shrugged. "I said something to try to make him feel better, and he completely lost it. I mean … God, King, don't ever tell him that I told you this, but he was truly a mess. I think Sirius's death really screwed him up."

"I'm sure it did," Kingsley said, again with concern reflected in his dark eyes. "Sirius has been one of his closest friends for most of his life. Losing him must have been like losing a brother."

She nodded. "Yeah, he said something like that. He also … well, it was a little touchy for awhile."

"But you got him calmed down in the end?"

"Yeah. It took some time, but I think we both felt better by the end of the night."

"Good," Kingsley said. "But there has to be more to this story."

"Oh, yeah," she said. "Well, you know that we all went out for dinner today."

"Right. To the best restaurant in the history of humanity."

She made a face at him. "After you left, Remus came back to my place for dessert."

"You little minx," Kingsley grinned. "What exactly do you mean by 'dessert?'"

"No, no," she laughed. "Nothing like that. I just wanted him to come over for a bit, that's all."

"And you said that he went?"

"Yeah. We had ice cream, then started talking."

"Wait right there. You ate _ice cream_ with him? Did he have any idea what he was getting himself into?"

"No, he didn't. That's actually how this whole mess got started. I told him all about Sirius and I having the eating contest, and my determination to beat him … I guess I mentioned the fact that I was eight and he was twenty-two the first time we did that."

"And?"

"Remus freaked out. He said we can't be together because he's … wait, there were four reasons. I have to remember them all. Right, he's too old, he's a werewolf, he's unemployed and I'm too good for him." She looked at him helplessly. "What am I supposed to do with _that_?"

"Right," Kingsley said, leaning his chin on his clasped hands. "I suppose you want a guy's perspective?"

"I didn't come here looking for a woman's perspective," Tonks said sarcastically.

"Tone, Miss Tonks," Kingsley said lightly. "Do you want my help or not?"

"Yes, please," she said giving him a face like a contrite child.

He smiled, then considered everything she had told him. "Okay, let's start at the end and work our way up."

"All right."

"Well, he said that you're too good for him."

"Right," she nodded. "I told him right away that he was way off base, and that he's one of the best people I know."

"Good," Kingsley said. "That right there is an excuse, a line, whatever you want to call it. He needed to know that you're not going to take it from him."

"Fair enough. But what about everything else?"

"Slow down. We're doing this step by step," Kingsley said. "So, we've covered the 'not good enough for you' argument. You said he mentioned being unemployed?"

"Yes," she said. "He gave me some rubbish about not being able to support me." She rolled her eyes. "I do live on my own, you know. I can support myself, and he knows it."

"Yes, but he's not going to be okay with that," Kingsley said patiently.

"Why not?" Tonks asked blankly.

"Listen, sweetheart, men aren't good at accepting the idea that women don't need them."

"But I do need him! That's what I kept trying to tell him!"

Kingsley shook his head. "I mean financially."

"Oh-o," she said, her eyes widening.

Kingsley nodded. "It's going to take a lot for him to accept the idea that he doesn't need to provide for you, and, even more, that it's okay that he doesn't."

"How can I convince him of that?"

"That might be the last obstacle we tackle. It's going to be a big one. Let's go for something more manageable – the werewolf thing."

"The werewolf thing is more manageable?"

"Yes."

"How, exactly?"

"That one is all in his head."

"I'm pretty sure that transforming into a werewolf isn't in his head," Tonks said impatiently.

"No, that's very real," Kingsley replied. "But the idea that it should keep you apart is all in his head."

"That's true," she agreed. She frowned. "I don't understand why he thinks it's something that would make me not want to be with him."

"Because, honey, you're not like most people," Kingsley said. "From what I understand, Remus has lived with this for a long time. He's probably not used to people being as accepting of his condition as you are."

She nodded slowly. "I remember the day he told me about it. I had noticed the scars on his face, and asked him how he had gotten them. He was truly terrified to tell me – I remember that he started off by telling me that he wouldn't be upset if I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore once I knew the truth."

Kingsley nodded. "Exactly. I think it's tough for him to accept that you're okay with it."

She frowned again. "But he was married before. He should know that not all girls are horrified by the idea of being with a werewolf. For that matter, he should know that I'm not, considering the way I kissed him the other day."

"Okay, I was serious about that too much information thing," Kingsley said, holding up his hands to stop her. "I don't want to hear another word about how he kissed you. Save it for your girlfriends."

Tonks giggled. "Fine, be that way. But the least you can do is to advise me."

"Right, here's the way I see it: the werewolf thing and the age thing are tied together. I think that he's thinking that you're so young, you have no idea what it means to be involved with a werewolf. He, on the other hand, is the experienced older man, who knows exactly what it means. Or, he thinks that you just _think_ you're okay with it, but don't realize how much it really bothers you."

She gave him a look of disbelief. "Are guys really that analytical?"

"This one is," he smiled. "Either way, love, he's trying to protect you." He paused. "When you think about it, that goes back to the money thing, too."

Tonks buried her head in her hands. "This is too much."

"Tonks, he's a good guy. We've known that from the start. But, he comes with a lot of baggage. We've known that, too. I asked you once before if you were willing to deal with all his baggage, and you said you were. Now that you're actually seeing it, if it's too much … Remus just handed you an out. You can take what he said at face value, and leave it. Just be his friend, and move on to a new romantic partner."

She shook her head. "No way. I want Remus, King, not some random guy I meet in a bar. I know it's going to be tough, but I want to try to make it work."

"He seems pretty set against it," Kingsley cautioned. "You've got an uphill battle ahead of you."

"But, seriously, how much of it did he really _mean_?" she asked. "He's pretty messed up over Sirius. It could just be his overblown emotions talking."

"Maybe you're right," Kingsley said dubiously. "We'll see."

"Yes," she said. "We most certainly will."

* * *

Remus looked through the extensive bookshelves of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, searching for something to read that wasn't devoted to the dark arts. He sighed, knowing that it was a pointless mission. He eventually gave up, and selected a tome about the origins of the dark arts. It would be far more interesting than the many books that gave advice on the actual _use_ of the dark arts. Even if it wasn't, at the very least, it would accomplish his goal of keeping his mind off Tonks.

He was about to start reading when an owl flew through the window. He looked up in surprise. He didn't recognize the bird that landed next to him.

"Thank you," he said, taking the letter that it carried.

The bird flew off again as Remus studied letters that formed his name. The writing looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. He broke the seal and opened it.

"_Dear Remus,_

"_I know we haven't seen each other in ages, but I had to write you after reading the news about Sirius Black. I know you were friends once upon a time, and I wanted to see how you were taking this odd turn of events. If you have time, I'd love to get together to talk._

"_There are so many things I want to say to you, but I know this letter isn't the place. I hope that you can meet me. I know that things didn't work out for you and my sister as planned, but I'll always consider you my brother. I would love to be able to help you any way that I can._

"_Let me know if you can get together._

"_Love, Hannah"_

Remus looked up from the letter in surprise. Hannah, his one magical sister-in-law hadn't written him in ages. It wasn't that they had had an argument or a falling out, it was a simple case of their lives going down divergent paths. He and Hannah had always had a good relationship, though, and he was touched by her concern about him.

Smiling slightly, he picked up a quill to write to her. Of course he had time to meet with her. They just had to work out the details.

* * *

Remus walked into the Muggle restaurant that Hannah had chosen with a hint of nerves. He hadn't seen her in years; he wondered if they would still have the rapport they had always shared. For that matter, he wondered if he would recognize her.

He shouldn't have worried.

"Remus!"

He turned at the sound of his name to see his very excited sister-in-law rushing forward to greet him. She jumped into his arms, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I've missed you," she said. "I can't believe how long it's been!"

"I know," he said, touched by her obvious enthusiasm to see him again. "We should have done this years ago."

"Definitely," she said. "Come on, let's sit down."

Once they were seated, Hannah forced Remus to concentrate on his menu long enough to decide what to order. It wasn't until they had given their orders to their waiter that they truly began to talk.

"So, what have you been doing since last I saw you?" Remus asked.

"I'm still working for St. Mungo's," she said.

Remus grinned. "I remember when you graduated from training. Your parents were so excited to have a 'doctor' in the family."

She grinned. "Yeah, they still are. It can be embarrassing, to tell you the truth."

Remus chuckled. "And how are Keith and the kids?"

"Fine," she replied. "Keith was just asked to help train the new Aurors, so he's pretty excited about that."

"Oh, he'd be good at that," Remus said, thinking of Hannah's Auror husband. He idolized Moody, who he always said had taught him all that he knew. "And the kids?"

Hannah's face lit up with a beaming smile. "Lauren just got her Hogwarts letter yesterday!"

"Did she?" Remus exclaimed. "That's fantastic! I'll have to send her a card to tell her congratulations."

"Do," Hannah grinned. "She'd love to hear from you."

"She must be thrilled."

"She is. She can't wait to go shopping for her school supplies. Christopher and Susan think it's horribly unfair and want their own."

"They can wait," Remus smiled. "It'll only be a few more years."

"That's what we keep telling them, but they're not handling it very well."

"They'll appreciate it more once they get to go and have an older sister there who can teach them the ropes."

"Yeah," she said with a hint of a smile. "I was always glad that I had Laura there to show me around. Of course, I didn't know to expect a letter like my three do."

"You didn't suspect at all?"

She shook her head. "I was so little when Laura left that I didn't really understand what it was all about. By the time I was ten, I started to think that maybe I would get one, too, but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go. I didn't know if I wanted to be more like Laura or like the rest of my siblings."

"You didn't have much of a choice."

"No, not really."

Their food arrived, and they both took a moment to try their food in silence. Finally, Hannah looked at Remus with concern.

"How have you been, Remus?"

Remus sighed, knowing all that she put into the simple question. "I'm hanging in there," he said honestly. "It was really tough at first, but things are getting better."

"You know, when I first read the headline that Sirius had died, I was relieved," she said. "After what he had done to James and Lily, I thought that he deserved it. Then I read the story and saw that he was innocent … that must have been so difficult for you to read the news like that."

"No, Hannah, I've known," Remus said.

Hannah's fork stopped, suspended in mid-air. "What?"

He nodded. "I actually got the whole story two years ago," he said. "Sirius and I had become good friends again – rather like we were in school."

"Oh, Remus," she sighed. "I had no idea."

"Well, he was in hiding," Remus said practically. "I couldn't exactly shout it from the rooftops, could I?"

"Of course not," she said. "But this makes it all so much worse."

Remus shook his head. "I think it makes it better."

"How can you say that?" she exclaimed. "You had to lose your friend all over again!"

"Yes, and that's the beauty of it," Remus said. He spoke slowly, having a personal revelation as he shared his feelings. "If it weren't for these past two years, I would have gone the rest of my life thinking that Sirius had betrayed James and Lily – and hating him for it. Or, perhaps even worse, I could have discovered the truth after his death. I would never have forgiven myself for doubting him.

"But, as it happened, I had the chance to learn the truth, and to become friends with him again. I had the chance to be forgiven and to forgive." He smiled sadly. "And, I can mourn him as my _friend_, not as a traitor. Because of the last two years, I will always remember him as the hero who died for his godson, after enduring a living death for two of his best friends. I am so grateful that everything happened the way that it did."

Hannah looked at him with wide eyes. "Remus, you are an amazing person."

A red flush crept across his cheeks. "I don't know about that."

"No, truly. You amaze me with your ability to see the positive in any situation, to overcome any obstacle … Laura always told me that you were special."

He smiled. "Well, she was special, too."

"You know, I always loved you," Hannah smiled. "From the time that Laura first started dating you, I knew that she would marry you. And I was so glad, because I was so excited that you would be my brother."

He grinned. "I loved marrying into your family. You were everything that I never had as an only child."

"The entire family loved you," Hannah said. "We still do, of course."

"I still love all of you, too."

She smiled, then looked down for a moment. When she looked up again, her eyes were full of compassion.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Can I ask you a question? A personal question?"

"Of course."

"Remus, are you ... are you over Laura's death?"

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"It's just ... you've been so devoted to Laura's memory, I wondered …"

"Wondered what?"

"Are you still in love with her?"

Remus paused for a moment, considering his answer. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. "I'll always love Laura, Hannah. She was my first love, she was my wife, she was the woman I wanted to be the mother of my children. Losing her was the hardest thing I've ever endured – and I think you know all that that means."

"Have you come to terms with what happened?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "It was truly awful, but, Hannah, it was years ago. When Laura died, your children weren't even thought of, and now your oldest daughter is on the verge of starting classes at Hogwarts. So, I do still love her, but I have accepted the fact that she's gone. I have moved on."

"Have you, really?"

"What do you mean?"

Hannah hesitated, then spoke in a rush. "Remus, Laura died fourteen years ago. Although it's been over a decade, I've never seen you so much as consider dating another woman. Do you still … are you planning to remain faithful to her forever?"

Remus smiled. _Oh, Hannah, if you only knew._ "That's a tough question."

"Why?"

"Dating … isn't the same for me as it is for everyone else. I have far more issues to deal with than other men. I'm not exactly someone that women are queuing up to have a chance to kiss."

She smiled tolerantly. "Honestly, Remus, you're not so terrible, you know."

"I just come with a lot of issues," he said simply. "It's not something that most women can deal with. Not even …" he trailed off.

She looked at him shrewdly. "You have someone in mind, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"I think that it does."

He shook his head. "It wouldn't work out."

"Why not?"

"She's younger, she's … Hannah, she's too special for someone like me."

"Does she think that?"

He smiled sadly. "I've tried to tell her …"

"If she refuses to listen, I think that speaks volumes."

"It wouldn't work," he said again.

"Try," she said. "At worst, you're proven right. At best, you find a new love."

He shook his head. "I never would have expected this from you."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I had always assumed that your family wouldn't _want_ me to find someone else. Don't you all still consider Laura my wife?"

Hannah reached across to touch his hand. "Laura was my sister. She always will be, the same way that she will always be my parents' daughter. She was your wife, too, and I would never change that, even if I could. But, Remus, I know that she's gone. I know that no one else can ever replace her, and that you would never try to do so. But, I also know that healing brings strength, and that strength can give the heart a second chance to love. So, I say, take that chance. Let yourself love again."

"I don't want to let your family down. I love all of you like my own family."

"And you will always be family to us," she said in a low, strong voice. "That's why we want to see you happy. If finding someone new to love makes you happy, then we're happy for you."

Remus looked at her for a moment, knowing that she meant every word that she spoke. "Thank you, Hannah," he said sincerely.

She smiled. "If you ever need a sister to talk to, I'm here for you. I want to do everything I can to make sure that this works out for you."

* * *

_Please come to headquarters at once_.

The urgent summons made Tonks's heart skip a beat. Without thinking twice, she Disapparated.

When she opened her eyes, she was shocked to find herself in a room with Remus, Dumbledore and her mother. _Could this get any more awkward?_ She hadn't spoken to Remus since their fight nearly a week ago. Clearly, her mother and Dumbledore knew nothing of what had happened between them; they would have to act as though nothing had gone awry.

"Ah, Nymphadora," Dumbledore smiled. "Now that we're all here, we can begin."

"Excuse me, sir, but why are we here?" Tonks asked as she sat down next to her mother. "Has something happened?"

Dumbledore smiled again. "We have an important matter to discuss. Today, we discovered Sirius's will."

Tonks's eyes opened wide. She heard her mother gasp.

"His will?" Remus repeated. He smiled slightly. "I had no idea that he thought far enough ahead to have one drawn up."

"Well, it is an old document," Dumbledore said. "Based on the date, I believe that he wrote it shortly after Harry's baptism."

"That would make sense," Andromeda said. "Being a godfather gave him a true sense of responsibility."

"Yes, well, he took his responsibility quite seriously," Dumbledore said. "According to this document, everything has been left to Harry."

"What does 'everything' include?" Remus asked.

"His fortune, his possessions, the house …"

"That's impossible," Andromeda said at once.

"Why?" Tonks asked, frowning.

"Because the house always passes to the oldest male heir," Andromeda explained. "There's no way Sirius could have gotten around that. I know that he was very talented, but this tradition involves very old magic. I don't even know if a way around it exists."

"Who would inherit it, then?" Remus asked. "Sirius didn't have children, nor, to my knowledge, did Regulus."

"It could be Draco," Andromeda mused. "But, generally speaking, the tradition stipulates that the heir be of legal age, which Draco is not."

"Could it pass to a female, then?" Remus asked.

"Yes, that would be right," Andromeda replied, frowning in concentration. "I think that happened once before …"

Horror filled Tonks as she realized the identity of the oldest member of the family. "So it would go to Aunt Bellatrix?" she asked a bit fearfully.

"Yes," Andromeda sighed. "I believe it would."

"You're quite certain there is no way around this?" Dumbledore asked.

"Unless Sirius found a loophole I don't know about," she shrugged. "But it is a very serious, binding tradition. That's why the house was his, even though he had been practically excommunicated from the family. The fortune and probably even his possessions can go to Harry without a problem, but the house … impossible."

"Can't we find a way around it?" Tonks asked a bit desperately. So many Order secrets were stored inside the house. How could they just let it fall into the Death Eaters' hands?

"I wish I knew a way," Andromeda said sadly.

"Should we start looking for a new headquarters?" Remus asked.

"We'll deal with that when we need to," Dumbledore said. "I'll look into the inheritance of the house to be sure that it has passed to Bellatrix. But, for the time being, I think it would be best if the Order were to vacate the house. Better to err on the side of caution."

Remus nodded. "I'll alert the members."

"Excellent. And, Remus …"

He nodded. "I'll move out as soon as possible."

"I am sorry to ask this of you."

Remus waved it aside. "Don't worry about it. I'll be fine."

Dumbledore gathered up the documents before him. "I believe we have covered all my concerns for now. I wanted the three of you to be aware of Sirius's will before I went to Harry with it."

"Will you see Harry soon?" Remus asked.

"I'm going to retrieve him from his aunt's house next week," Dumbledore nodded. "He will spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys."

"He'll like that," Remus smiled. "Give him my best."

"Of course," Dumbledore nodded as he stood. "Oh, before I leave, Nymphadora, you might be interested to know that Rufus Scrimgeour has been promoted."

"Promoted?" she repeated with a slight frown.

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes. The official announcement of his new position as Minister of Magic will be made tomorrow."

Tonks was sure that she could have been knocked over with a feather. "What?" she whispered.

Dumbledore smiled again. "Your new Head is John Alexander."

"Olivia's brother?" Remus asked.

"Yes."

Remus grinned. "She'll be so excited for him."

"I can't believe it," Tonks said. "I never would have thought that they'd give Scrimmy the job."

"Surprises do abound, don't they?" Dumbledore said with his eyes twinkling. "I'm off to meet with him and Cornelius right now. They said they have a matter of extreme importance to discuss. And so, I bid you all farewell, and thank you for coming tonight."

With a swish of his cloak, he was gone.

Andromeda turned to Remus. "Do you need a place to stay until you find a new residence?"

He shook his head. "I think I'll go to France for a bit. I want to check on Olivia, to make sure she's handling everything all right."

Tonks felt a sudden surge of jealousy.

"Don't stay away too long," she said. "The Order needs you."

Remus gave her a smile. "I know. I'll be back before you have time to miss me."

She smiled, but remained silent.

_That's impossible, Remus_, she thought. _I miss you already._


	27. A Different Path

A/N: First, happy birthday to purebristles!

I'm leaving for the weekend on Thursday, so my next update will be next week … I'd say by Tuesday, 25 July.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

A Different Path

"So," Kingsley said as he and Tonks walked down the hall to the conference room together, "are you ready for our first department meeting without Scrimmy?"

"You know, I think I may actually miss him," she said with a grin. "Although, I must say, John Alexander certainly is more handsome than Scrimmy."

Kingsley made a face. "What is it with you and the older men?"

She grinned. "You're just jealous because I don't fancy you."

He pretended to look hurt. "You mean you don't? I've been hoping and hoping …"

They were both still laughing as they reached the conference room. Kingsley held the door for Tonks to pass before him. She felt the smile slide off her face as she entered the room; she could already see that every other Auror had his or her "mask" securely in place.

Tonks and Kingsley sat down together in the back of the room. Kingsley looked around for a moment, then turned to Tonks.

"Tough crowd, huh?"

"I think they all want to impress John," she said. "It's sort of silly, really. I mean, we've all been working together for quite some time now. I would think that he knows what to expect from each of us."

"That could go either way," Kingsley commented. "It could be a good thing or a bad thing, you know, depending on what it is that he thinks he knows. Personally, I'm not going to get to upset one way or the other until we've had this meeting."

"Very wise," she smiled.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention?"

All conversations ceased as John Alexander stepped to the front of the room. He surveyed them all with a look that reminded Tonks inexplicably of Moody.

"I'm sure that you all know me by now, but, just in case, I am John Alexander. As of this time yesterday, I am the new Head of the Auror Department. I wanted to call you all here today to discuss the way we will run this department under my leadership."

"Full of himself, isn't he?" Tonks whispered.

"A bit," Kingsley grinned.

"We are working under some very difficult circumstances," John stated. "You-Know-Who has returned, and he and his Death Eaters have embarked upon a path of destruction not seen since the last war. As Aurors, it is our duty to find a way to stop him."

_Or to delay him until Harry's ready to fight him, _Tonks added mentally. She shivered a bit at the thought. She hated the idea that Harry would have to fight this monster in the end.

"One thing that you must understand is that my first priority is fighting You-Know-Who. Clearly, the way we have always done things has not been enough. We need to do more. That means we need to change the way we do our jobs. If you're not comfortable with the idea of change, please let me know within the next few days so that I can find you another job within the Ministry. I don't need people here who will be reluctant to work together, or to work with me. I only need those who are willing to cooperate, and who are willing to give everything in them to this job."

"Is he channeling Moody?" Kingsley whispered.

"If he says 'constant vigilance,' I may have to leave," Tonks replied.

"One major change that I am going to make is in the way missions are assigned. In the past, we have always worked exclusively with one partner – always the same partner. I'd like to change that."

Tonks looked at Kingsley a bit fearfully. He gave her a lopsided smile that was supposed to be encouraging.

"I'd like to see us work, in addition to with our partners, in groups and individually. I know you and your strengths and weaknesses. My plan is to assign the most capable Auror to each job. If that means that you are sent undercover while your partner patrols Diagon Alley, so be it."

"Oh, I don't like this," Tonks whispered.

"We'll be fine," Kingsley said with as much confidence as he could muster. "He'd never separate us. We work too well together."

"I will begin handing out new assignments this morning," John said. "I have already decided where to place each of you, so there is really no point in coming to me now with requests." He paused. "I will see all of you soon. That will be all for now."

"What is he, a machine?" Tonks asked as they left the room. "He's had the job for a day! How could he have come up with a new assignment for everyone already?"

"I think it's a scare tactic," Kingsley said sagely. "There's no way he's done all that already.

"I don't know, King," Tonks said nervously. "I think that before too long, we'll wish we had Scrimgeour back."

"Perish the thought!" Kingsley said in mock shock.

She shrugged. "I think John's going to go a bit far."

"He's just like Moody," Kingsley said. "The department always ran well with Moody in charge. This could be a good thing."

"I hope you're right." She smiled slightly. "And I hope he doesn't separate us."

Kingsley shook his head. "He'd have to be insane to do that. We work well together – we've _always_ worked well together. Why would he separate us?"

She looked at him hopefully. "Well, we'll see soon enough, won't we?"

"Yes, we will."

* * *

Remus finished packing the last of his things with a sigh. Once again, he was moving. Although, this time, his final destination wasn't nearly as clear.

"France for now," he muttered to himself. "I'll deal with a home here when I get back."

He used his wand to shrink his boxes and cases, making them small enough to fit into his pockets, and Apparated to Olivia's house.

For the second time in recent memory, he found the house empty. He frowned slightly, trying to remember her work schedule.

"She is supposed to work today," he said, annoyed with himself for forgetting. He sighed, hoping that Dana would be home.

He walked the short distance down the street to Dana's house rather quickly. He paused to knock on the door, which was opened by a very excited Laura.

"Uncle Remus!" she exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "What are you doing here?"

"What, you don't want to see me?" he asked with a grin.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," she laughed. "We didn't know you would be here today!"

"It's a bit of a surprise," he grinned. "Is that all right?"

"It's more than all right," she said, hugging him again. "Come in and I'll find Mum."

Remus followed Laura into the house. She promptly began screaming for her mother. Remus smiled again, realizing that nearly every teenager used that search tactic when trying to find someone. He remembered James attempting it in his parents' massive house during their younger days.

"Grandma's out right now," she informed him. "She went to play cards with her friends." She made a face. "They play cards, like, four times a week! I don't know how she can stand it."

Remus smiled. "All grandmothers do that. I think they receive membership in a card group when their first grandchild is born."

Laura giggled as Dana came down the stairs.

"For goodness sake, Laura!" she exclaimed. "Would it kill you to actually walk up the stairs to find … Remus!"

Laura, who looked relieved that her mother's tirade had been cut off, watched as Remus hugged Dana.

"What are you doing here?" Dana asked.

Remus laughed. "Your daughter asked the same thing. Am I not allowed to visit anymore?"

"You know we're glad to see you," Dana said, taking his arm. "It's just a surprise, that's all." She paused, a nervous look coming into her eyes. "Are there problems I should know about?" she asked in a low voice.

"Don't do that, Mum," Laura said. "Don't leave me out of everything!"

Dana smiled slightly. "Laura still wants to be inducted into the Order."

Remus smiled. "Not yet, little girl. Wait until you're older."

"Hopefully, there won't be a _need_ for the Order by the time she's old enough," Dana said. "Come, let's go sit down before you fill us in on everything."

* * *

"This isn't good, King."

"What's wrong?" Kingsley asked as Tonks came into their office.

"I've been all around the department," she said. "Almost every team has been split up."

"That still doesn't mean we will be," Kingsley said calmly. "Don't borrow trouble, Tonks."

"It just makes me nervous," she said. "I don't like the idea of working without you."

"I don't like it either," Kingsley said. He smiled slightly. "I'm the one who initially requested to work with you, remember? Thank goodness Moody was willing to be accommodating. You're the best partner I've ever worked with."

Tonks smiled, flushing slightly at the praise. "I thought you went to Moody on bended knee and promised him money if he'd let you work with me."

Kingsley laughed. "Don't let it go to your head. I just really hated working with Crawley."

"I hope you don't get assigned to work with him again," she teased.

"Hey! We don't joke about that," Kingsley grinned. "I still think we'll be okay, Tonks."

"What makes you so sure?"

"It's what I've been saying all along. Moody assigned us to work together, and, if I do say so myself, we've done brilliantly."

"Yeah, I guess we have, haven't we?" she smiled. "Thanks, King."

"So, what assignment should we be given?" he asked, trying to keep her positive thinking going.

"Oh, I think he'll make us spies."

"Oh, really?" Kingsley asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," she grinned. "We'll be right in the middle of the Death Eaters, catching them left and right."

Kingsley laughed. "Well, that makes sense. We're just that good."

* * *

"So, what dire news have you brought us this time?" Dana asked as she, Remus and Laura sat down in the living room with cups of tea.

He sighed, and put his cup down on the coffee table. "He's back, Dana. I don't really think I can make it any clearer than that."

"So we're right back to where we were before James and Lily …"

"Getting there," Remus said. "You heard about the bridge collapse, I'm sure?"

"Yes," she said. "And the giants … were there really giants?"

"We think so."

"Dumbledore thinks so, then?"

"Yes."

"And Amelia and Emmeline?"

Remus nodded. "Voldemort."

"And the dementors?"

"They've left Azkaban," Remus nodded. "They're … well, they're breeding. They're everywhere around London now, and they're expanding to all of England. You should see it, Dana. It's like this horrible, gray mist is around everything all the time."

She shivered. "I don't think I want to see it."

"I read something," Laura said suddenly, leaning forward with a slight frown, "about Inferi … what are they?"

Dana shivered again. "Reanimated corpses," she said.

"What?" Laura gasped.

Remus nodded. "We have no proof that they're being used again," he said firmly. "But, yes, during the last war, Voldemort and the Death Eater used reanimated corpses, Inferi, to fight on their side. It's completely disturbing to even think about … only a demented mind could come up with something like that. But, it's ingenious really – they can't feel pain or be killed, so they're the perfect soldiers."

"Nothing can stop them?" Laura asked weakly.

"One thing can," Remus said. "Fire." He leaned forward. "Remember, that, Laura, please. _Fire_ can destroy Inferi."

"I'd like to think she won't need to remember that," Dana said.

Remus shook his head. "We all need to remember that."

Dana buried her face in her hands. "I thought we had put all this behind us. I never thought … I never dreamed, even in my worst nightmares …"

Remus reached across to touch her shoulder. "We're going to make it, Dana. We made it out last time, and we'll do it again this time."

She looked up at him with eyes full of misery. "Yes, we made it," she said, "but at what price? How many will we have to lose this time, Remus? Whose funerals will we have to attend? How much pain and suffering will we have to witness?"

Remus looked at her for a moment. "A better question, Healer McKinley, is how much pain and suffering are you going to stop?"

She looked at him with huge eyes. "Remus … are you asking …?"

"I'm asking you to think about it, that's all. Nothing more and nothing less."

She shook her head. "I don't know if I can."

Laura looked between them, frowning in confusion. "Would you please stop talking in code?"

Dana looked at her sadly. "He's asking me to go back to England. He's asking me to fight again."

* * *

"Shacklebolt, Tonks, can I have a word?"

Tonks and Kingsley both looked up from their desks to see John Alexander standing in their office doorway. They exchanged a glance.

"Come in," Kingsley said at last.

John came in and closed the door behind him. "Well, I'm sure you know why I'm here."

Kingsley nodded. "You're going to give us our new assignment."

"Assignment_s_," John corrected. "Shacklebolt, you're going to guard the Muggle Prime Minister. I've arranged for you to work as the secretary in his outer office. His current secretary will take extended medical leave to recover from a nagging cough. Her last day is today. You'll start tomorrow."

Kingsley nodded slowly. "All right."

"Tonks, you're going to guard Hogwarts. You'll report to the school tomorrow. Dumbledore and his staff will give you a very detailed tour of the school, including secret passageways and shortcuts. After that, you'll be responsible for preparing the school for security surveillance. You'll need to be ready for when the students report on September first."

"Will I be the only Auror there?" she asked.

"I'll have a rotating team, but you'll be the permanent Auror," John replied. He allowed himself a small smile. "That means that you, Miss Tonks, will be the Head Auror there. The others will report to you. Your mission will be to keep the school, the students and the staff safe. Above all, you are to keep Harry Potter safe. And you'll need to do this while remaining as invisible as possible."

She nodded. "I can handle that," she agreed.

"Excellent," John said. "Good luck to both of you – not that you'll need it. You're two of the best Aurors we have."

He left, closing the door behind him. Tonks and Kingsley looked at each other in shocked silence.

* * *

"Hi."

All three of them looked up as Olivia came into the room. Remus fought to control his surprise as he looked at her. This haggard woman was not the Olivia he had left only weeks before.

"Liv," he said, standing up and hugging her close. "How are you?"

"All right," she said as she sat down next to him on the couch. "What are you doing here, Remus?"

"I came to see you," he said. "I was worried about you."

"What is there to be worried about?" she asked.

"Oh, you know me. I worry," he said lightly.

She looked at him with the saddest smile he had ever seen. As Remus looked into Olivia's eyes, his breath caught in his throat. Although her face still showed the thirty-seven years that she had lived, her eyes betrayed the soul of an old woman. It was as though she had seen too much to be young.

"Laura, come and help me with dinner," Dana said, standing to her feet. "We'll let Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia entertain each other until we're ready to eat."

Remus looked at Olivia as Dana and Laura left the room. "Do you eat dinner with them often?"

"Most days," she replied. She smiled sadly again. "Dana's worried about me, too. You're both being ridiculous, if you ask me."

"Good friends generally are," he replied. "Talk to me, Olivia. Tell me what's going on inside."

She looked at him sadly. "You know what's going on inside," she said. "You lost your wife. You know how it feels."

"And I also know how important it is to talk about it," he said. "After Laura died, I shut out the world for weeks … months, I suppose. If hadn't been for Lily and Harry, I may never have found my way back. Please, Liv, don't let yourself get that lost. Please, hang on. Let us help you."

She shrugged. "I go to work every single day, Remus. I still have plenty to live for." She smiled. "And, now that my brother is Head of the department in England, I have to set a good example."

Remus smiled. "You've always set a good example. John's promotion doesn't mean you have to try harder at work."

"But, I do," she said blankly. "Remus, I have to put everything into work. That's what Moody always told us. Especially now, with Voldemort openly back. We need to devote ourselves to our jobs."

"I don't think Moody wanted you to make yourself ill because you were working so hard," Remus said, voice shaking a bit with concern. "Liv, you are taking good care of yourself, aren't you?"

She smiled brokenly. "Of course I am, Remus. I just … I have to work. If I work, then I don't have to think about what's happened."

"You need to think about it, Liv," Remus said, taking her hand in his. "If you don't think about it, how will you ever deal with it?"

A tear slid down her cheek. "I don't want to deal with it. It hurts too much." She drew a shaking breath. "Remus, I can't even tell you how this feels. It's like part of me is gone … like half my soul is completely numb."

"I know," Remus said simply.

"Yes, I suppose you do…" She sighed. "It's worse … worse than when he went to Azkaban. At least then I had anger to sustain me. It killed me that he was gone, but at least I could hate him for what he had done to me, to James, to Lily, to Harry, to Peter …" Her voice trailed off.

"But this time you aren't angry?"

She smiled her tragic smile. "How can I be angry? Oh, I know that I raged at you the day it happened, but I wasn't really angry then, and I'm not now. I know that if he had stayed behind, he'd still be alive. But, how do I know that everyone else would be? If something had happened to you, to Harry, to Tonks … to anyone really … I know that he would never have forgiven himself. And, to be honest, I would have spent the rest of my life angry that he hadn't gone when he had the chance, too."

"He was a hero," Remus said quietly.

"And that's how I'll always remember him," she agreed. "But, Remus, it hurts so much."

He pulled her close. "I know, love," he said. "I know."

She laid her head on his shoulder, silently accepting the strength he offered. They were still sitting like that when Dana came in to call them for dinner.

"Is she like this every day?" Remus asked in an undertone as Olivia passed before him into the kitchen.

"Yeah," Dana nodded. "We'll talk later."

* * *

After dinner, Remus volunteered to help Dana clean up the kitchen, leaving Laura to entertain Olivia. They went out to sit on the back porch in the gathering darkness.

"Laura loves to look at the stars," Dana commented. "Did you know that Liv got top marks in Astronomy?"

Remus smiled. "She got top marks in almost everything."

"True," Dana smiled. "But, she actually remembers her Astronomy. She's been teaching Laura."

"Laura doesn't have that class?"

She shook her head. "They don't offer it."

"Oh."

Dana sighed. "You want to talk about Liv, don't you?"

"My God, Dana," Remus said. "I never dreamed she would look this bad."

She nodded. "She's a wreck. I try to help her all I can. I've been there. Aidan was killed by Death Eaters, too … in our own house. I know what she's going through. I know what she feels. It's just … I don't know. She's just taking it so much worse than I would have thought."

"Well, it's the second time she's had to lose him," Remus said.

Dana nodded. "True."

Remus drew a deep breath. "Do you think a change of scenery would do her good?"

Dana looked at him shrewdly. "You're talking about us coming back to England again, aren't you?"

"Yes," Remus said simply.

"I don't know, Remus …"

"I think it would be good for Olivia," he said.

She looked at him for a moment. "Do you really think so?"

He shrugged. "When Laura died, moving to a new house helped me. Moving here helped you when Aidan died. Liv came here the first time she lost Sirius."

"So, you think that moving is part of the healing process?"

"It might be. And, what better place to move to than your old home?"

"It's tempting …"

"Not to mention that I know that both of you will want to be active against Voldemort again."

She shivered. "I don't know, Remus."

"And, Dana, it would make me feel better if the three of you were in England. I'd like to be able to see you all every day – to know that you're safe."

She bit her lower lip. "I want Laura to stay at Beauxbatons. I can't ask that poor girl to switch schools."

"She could. We'd find a way."

"Let me think about it," she said noncommittally.

Remus nodded. "That's all I ask."

* * *

Remus was getting ready for bed that night when he heard a soft knock on his door.

"Come in," he said as he pulled back the covers on his bed.

"Good. You're still up," Dana said as she came into the room, closing the door behind her.

"You've made a decision, haven't you?"

She nodded. "Remus, I think you're right. I don't know how this is going to help any of us, but, somehow, I think that we belong back in England."

"Have you spoken to Olivia?"

She shook her head. "I'm almost afraid to."

"You're afraid she'll say no?"

"Yes … no …" She smiled helplessly. "I'm afraid that she'll say no and I'm afraid that she'll say yes. Remus, this is the most terrifying thing I've ever done."

"Are you sure you want to?" Remus asked. "It was just a silly idea I had, I suppose … I wanted to have my girls with me again."

"I know that it's still just an idea. I know that I don't have to make it real. The idea of doing this terrifies me, but the idea of not doing it terrifies me even more."

"What about Laura?"

"Well, she'll come for the summer, of course."

"But how will you keep her at Beauxbatons?"

"My mother won't want to leave," she said. "She uprooted her life for me once already. I can't ask her to do that again. She can stay here, in this house, and Laura can keep it as her permanent address. That way she can still go to her school with her friends." She smiled. "And she'll be perfectly free to come to France anytime she gets sick of England."

Remus looked at her knowingly. "And you can send her here when you think it's too dangerous there."

She nodded silently. "Remus, I'm not going to lie to you. This thing scares me to death. I know, and you know, what we stand to lose."

"But that's why we have to fight it."

She nodded. "Exactly. That's why we have to fight it." She paused and looked down at her clasped hands. "I'll talk to Olivia in the morning. Do you want to come?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"All right, then." She smiled slightly, and crossed to kiss his cheek. "The only thing that doesn't scare me is being closer to you again. Good night, Remus."

"I'll be glad to have you home again, too," he smiled. "Good night, Dana."


	28. A New Beginning

A/N: I just wanted to clarify that I have no plans to make this story AU. Everything will work out to fit with canon, I promise!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

A New Beginning

"Good morning, wizarding world! We're going to kick off your day with a new one from the Weird Sisters …"

Tonks jumped in bed, reaching out to slam her hand down on her alarm clock, ending the Weird Sisters' newest song. She looked at the time, then rubbed her eyes.

"I hope this assignment is worth it," she sighed as she sat up. "I can't believe I'm getting up before six."

She tumbled out of bed and made her way to the shower. She fingers shook slightly as she turned on the water.

"It's Hogwarts," she muttered. "I know this place – I love this place. Everything will be fine. Great, even."

Yet, underneath it all, she couldn't help the nerves. This was a new mission, a mission that came with more responsibility than she had ever been given before. And, it was her first mission without Kingsley. While she prided herself on being a very independent woman who didn't need a man to take care of her, she had to admit that working without the man who had been her partner for her entire career was rather daunting.

She sighed again, and turned to face into the hot spray from the showerhead. _Everything will be fine._

* * *

"Good morning," Dana smiled from her place at the table with a cup of coffee and the _Daily Prophet_.

Remus smiled as he came into the kitchen. He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Good morning."

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "My mother made the biggest breakfast I've seen in years. She goes a little overboard when we have company."

Remus grinned as he sat down at the table. "Where is she?"

"She went out to buy food for dinner. She's a little upset that she missed your arrival yesterday, so she wants to make up for it with a feast tonight."

Remus laughed. "Why does everyone's mother feel the need to feed me?"

"Because you're too thin," Dana laughed.

"Have you told her about moving?"

"Yes, I mentioned it to her. Better to have her know what we might do before it happens than to spring it on her at the last minute."

"And?"

She sighed. "She's not excited about it, but she understands why I want to go. She was more than willing to stay here, and to keep Laura as much as I want her to."

"I didn't think you wanted her to keep Laura?"

"I don't – not really. I just want Laura to stay here if it gets too dangerous there."

Remus nodded. "Is Laura still in bed?"

Dana laughed. "Darling, it's only eight. I don't expect to see her for hours."

"Ah, the life of a teenager."

"A teenager home for the summer," Dana amended. "I'm sure she has to get up for class when she's at school."

Remus smiled. "Have you talked to her yet about …?"

Dana shook her head. "I want to talk to Olivia first." She glanced at her watch. "She should be here in about an hour. I told her that we need to talk."

"And you'll tell Laura later?"

"I need to know that this is a done deal before involving her."

"Will she be okay with being kept out of the decision?"

"She doesn't get a say," Dana replied.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

Dana sighed. "Remus, she's only fifteen. She doesn't get to decide where we live. And, when it comes down to it, she's away at school for most of the year. Why should this bother her?"

"You think she won't mind where you live?"

She shrugged. "Did it matter to you when we were at Hogwarts? I mean, really, how much time did you spend at your parents' house then?"

"Good point, I guess."

"Remus, I love my daughter. I would never do anything to hurt her."

Remus looked at her in silence for a moment before speaking. "Dana, let me ask you a question."

"Sure."

He leaned forward, resting his chin on his folded hands. "Why are you doing this? Why are you moving back to England?"

She smiled sadly. "I keep asking myself the same thing. And every time, my answer never changes. I'm doing this to fight Voldemort."

Remus looked into her eyes. "May I play devil's advocate?"

She smiled. "I knew you would."

Remus smiled back. "You left the Order before. Why are you going back to it this time? What's changed?"

She looked away from him for a moment, then looked back. "We keep telling Laura that she's too young to join, or to understand anything that's going on right now. And I don't deny the truth in any of that. I just wish that someone had been there to tell me the same thing when we joined. Because, Remus, the truth is that I _wasn't_ old enough. I wasn't ready to deal with what we had to do. I wasn't ready to go that far to win this. And that's why I quit. Not because I was scared for myself or for Aidan, as I'm sure I said back then. You and Laura, James and Lily, Frank and Alice, Sirius, Olivia … everyone in the Order had someone else to live for, just like I did."

"You mean you weren't ready to fight?"

"I was ready to fight," she clarified, "but I wasn't ready to kill. But, that's what we have to do. This is a real war, not some romantic story. People are going to get hurt, and people are going to die. I wasn't ready to deal with that. Well, I was ready to put them back together, to heal them, but I wasn't ready to be the one handing out the wounds and the death."

"And you _are_ ready this time?"

She looked at him for a moment. "Remus, this man has caused so much devastation. So much pain. So much heartache. He's trying to destroy our society. How can I _not_ fight that?

"But, it's not just global for us, is it? It's personal. Voldemort has taken my family and my friends away from me. And, maybe even more than that, he's forced my best friends' son – the baby we all were fully ready to help raise – into a position that he would never have chosen on his own, nor that his parents would have chosen for him." She paused and drew a deep breath. "Voldemort must be stopped. And I want to do anything I can to help make that happen. If that means going back to England, if that means rejoining the Order, if that means killing Death Eaters, then so be it. I'm ready to do anything it takes to make this end. I'm ready to do anything it takes to help Harry." She smiled sadly. "We couldn't save James and Lily when they needed us. I think we owe it to them to do anything we can to help Harry now."

* * *

Tonks looked up at the towering structure of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with a bit of trepidation. She drew a deep breath.

"Well, here goes nothing," she muttered.

And so began her long – yet short – walk up to the castle. She reached the front doors and pulled one open, entering into the massive entrance hall. She wasn't surprised to find it nearly empty. She was surprised, however, to see that Dumbledore was the one standing there to greet her.

"Ah, Miss Tonks!" he greeted her with a beaming smile. "Thank you for agreeing to come to our school."

She smiled, instantly feeling better. Dumbledore always managed calm her. "Good morning, Professor. I'm glad I could do something to help."

"You will be most helpful," he said. "With you and your Aurors here, I know the students, staff and parents will be far more at ease as we begin our year."

"I hope so," she said, still smiling.

"I thought we could begin with a tour of the castle," Dumbledore said. "I know that you were a student here, but I like to think that the students don't discover many of the secret passageways the school hides from view."

Tonks grinned. "Oh, I never went snooping around the castle, sir."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I had assumed as much. Come, let us begin."

* * *

Olivia arrived as Remus and Dana were putting away the breakfast dishes. They both looked up as the door opened and she entered the kitchen.

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," Dana said at once. "Thanks for coming over, Liv."

"Good morning, love," Remus said. He leaned down to kiss her cheek. "How are you?"

"Fine," she smiled.

Remus looked at her closely, his heart sinking to see that she didn't look any better than she had the night before. Even her smile couldn't seem to reach her deadened eyes.

"Let's sit down," Dana said, waving her wand to procure three cups of tea. "We need to talk."

"Yes, that's what your message said," Olivia said as she sat down. "What do we need to talk about? I was just here last night."

"Right," Dana said, glancing at Remus. "Well, Remus had an idea, and we wanted to run it by you before we did anything about it."

"All right," Olivia said. "Let's hear it, Remus."

He nodded. "Right. When I got here yesterday, Dana was asking me for news updates – you know, things have changed now that Voldemort is out in the open."

"Of course," Olivia said. "We all knew that would happen – we hoped it would. Now the Ministry has _finally_ gone into action."

"Yes, that's true," Remus agreed. "And, the Order can be more active, too."

"Those are both good things," Olivia nodded. "I don't think you called me here to discuss that."

"Well, in a way, yes," Remus said. "I sort of … well, I mentioned to Dana yesterday how much I would love to have the two of you back in the UK with me."

Olivia's eyes opened wide. "You want us to move back?" she whispered.

"Yes," Remus said. "The Order can definitely use all the help it can get – and, I'm sure the Auror department would be thrilled to have you back."

"Come back to England," Olivia murmured, looking off into a distance only she could see. She looked back at Remus, her eyes siding back into focus. "And you want us to rejoin the Order?"

"Yes." He leaned forward. "I want you both to help in the fight. And, I want to know that you're safe. That will be far easier if you live down the street." He looked at Dana. "Dana is considering it, but she wanted to hear your opinion."

"My opinion," Olivia repeated. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them. "Let's do it."

Dana looked at her in surprise. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," Olivia nodded. "Dana, we have to be there. We were there when all this started. We have to be there to see it end. We have to help _bring_ this to an end. We've fought this before. How can we sit it out now?"

Looking into her eyes, Remus saw the one thing he had been hoping to see in them since the day he had told her that Sirius had died: _life_. It was as if a fire had been lighted inside her. Her eyes gleamed with a desire to fight, to survive, to win.

Olivia was back.

* * *

"Well, I think you've seen everything I can show you. I know the castle has other secrets that I may never discover, and you may well uncover them yourself in time, but the knowledge I've given you today will have to serve for now."

Tonks looked at Dumbledore, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "Sir, I won't lie to you. I _did_ sneak out more than once to explore the castle when I was a student, and I was quite sure that I knew it like the back of my hand. But this … I had no idea half of what you've shown me even existed!"

Dumbledore smiled his calm smile. "Miss Tonks, don't feel overwhelmed. We still have quite a bit of time before the students return, and you have been given unlimited access to the castle. You have plenty of time to familiarize yourself with it before school begins."

She nodded.

"We do have a meeting with the Heads of House that begins in a few minutes, so I'd like to take you back to my office."

She nodded again.

"If I might make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"You live in London, I believe?"

"Yes."

Dumbledore nodded. "I thought perhaps that you might like to take a flat in Hogsmeade. It will eliminate traveling to and from work, which I believe will help to make your life less stressful."

She nodded slowly. "That actually makes a lot of sense, particularly since I'll certainly be here all year."

"Precisely." They stopped in front of the gargoyle that guarded his office. "And, now, my dear, to our meeting."

* * *

"How soon can we go?" Olivia asked. She looked at Dana. "Can you ask for a transfer to St. Mungo's?"

Dana shook her head, still obviously shocked by how easily Olivia had agreed to Remus's suggestion. "No, the hospitals aren't affiliated with one another. I can apply for a position there, though."

"I'm sure you'll get it," Remus said. "They can see their need for new healers, particularly ones who were active in the war effort last time."

"I can transfer back to England," Olivia said. She grinned. "For the first time, I'll be able to use my brother for something career related. He was always telling me that he'd pull some strings for me, but then I came here…now he'll finally get to."

"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem for you," Remus grinned. He squeezed her hand. "I can't wait to have you back home with me." He reached across to take Dana's hand, holding on to both of them. "Both of you. I'm so excited that we're doing this!"

"I can't believe it," Dana said as though in a daze. "I never thought we'd go back there."

"It feels _right_, though, doesn't it?" Olivia asked. "I never would have thought to do it, either, but as soon as Remus suggested it, I just knew that it was what we had to do. It's where we need to be, and I'm so glad we're going."

"Going where?"

They all looked up to see Laura standing in the doorway, still in her pajamas. She reached up to brush back a strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail.

"Laura, I didn't expect you to be up so early," Dana said a bit uncomfortably.

"I didn't want to sleep too long, since Uncle Remus is here," she said. "Where are you going?"

"Sit down, sweetheart," Dana said. "It's not just me – we're all going."

"You, Aunt Olivia and Uncle Remus?"

"No, darling, you're coming, too. We're going to England."

Laura's eyes lit up. "How long are we staying? Can we stay two weeks this time? One week wasn't enough to see everything I wanted to see last time."

Dana glanced at Remus and Olivia, then looked back at her daughter. "No, sweetheart, we're not going for a visit. We're going to move there."

"What?" Laura exclaimed. "What do you mean? How can we move there?"

"We're going to live closer to Uncle Remus," Dana said. "I thought that you might be excited, darling."

"Excited?" Laura cried, jumping out of her seat. "How could you think that? How could think that I'd want to leave my friends, my house, my school –"

"You're not going to leave your friends or your school," Dana interrupted. "Grandma is staying here, so you're going to keep this as your address. You can still go to Beauxbatons with your friends. I wouldn't make you switch schools like that."

"But I'll still have to leave them during the summers and holidays, won't I?" she yelled, unwilling to be placated. "You didn't think of that, did you?"

"Of course I did," Dana said, willing herself to remain calm and not shake her daughter. "It'll be fine, Laura. You'll make it through a few months without them."

"_Merde_, Mum! Have could you – how could –"

"Laura, enough," Dana said, her eyes glittering with anger. "You're clever enough to use better words than that, regardless of the language you choose."

"I don't understand how you can do this to me!" Laura yelled. "You've told me over and over again how we have this wonderful life here in France, and how we could never be this happy in England. Why are you making me go there?"

"Because it's the right thing for us to do," Dana said. "Aunt Olivia and I can rejoin the Order there, and we can help fight against Voldemort."

"That didn't matter to you the first time, did it?" Laura asked cruelly. "You left the Order before the war ended. You left the _country_ before the war ended!"

"I left the Order because I was too young to know better," Dana said. "And I left the country because your father had just died, because I wanted you to be safe."

"And so now you think that I'd be safer _there_? Uncle Remus just told us yesterday about all the people who are dying!"

"I can take care of you all better if you're there than I can when you're here," Remus said, speaking for the first time. "The Order takes care of its own, Laura. I'm still fine, your mum and Olivia are still fine … Order members look out for one another, and I want to be able to do that for you and your family."

She shook her head violently. "You're not making sense. None of you are." She turned to glare at her mother. "How can you spend all those years telling me that we're safer _here_, right up until the war starts again, when you change your mind and think that we'd be safer in _England_?"

Dana looked at her closely. "You're making excuses. I've given you my reasons for this: I want to help the Order win the war, and I want to put us closer to Uncle Remus. And, you, Laura, have never been afraid of this before. You've spent two years trying to convince me that you should be allowed to join the Order. Why this sudden change of heart? What are your _real_ reasons for not wanting to go?"

Laura bit her lip. "I just don't want to move," she said stubbornly.

"Well, I hope you can change your mind by the time we leave," Dana said simply. "Because, we're going, regardless of how you feel about it."

Laura gave a scream, and ran out of the room. They could hear her stomping footsteps on the stairs, then the slam of her bedroom door.

"Well," Dana said, looking at Remus and Olivia, "that went well."

Remus and Olivia looked at one another, and Olivia giggled.

"Yeah, Dana. It went great."

* * *

After the rather lengthy meeting with the Heads of House, Hagrid gave Tonks a tour of the grounds. This was followed by another meeting with Dumbledore and McGonagall. Finally, at long last, Tonks was released.

"May I use a school owl?" she asked. "I'd like to send a letter, and my owl is already off delivering a message to my mother."

"Of course," Dumbledore smiled. "I'm sure you know where the Owlery is."

She smiled. "Hopefully, I'll remember how to find it."

She made her way up to the Owlery, and took a piece of parchment and quill from her bag. She scribbled a message to Kingsley, then left the school.

* * *

Kingsley was walking down the hall in the Muggle Ministry offices when he heard a woman scream. He immediately tensed, and ran down the hall toward the sound of the scream. He reached into his pocket, wrapping his hand around his wand, fully ready to do whatever it took to defend the Prime Minister.

He ran into the office where the woman was still shrieking – _his_ office –, searching for an intruder.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She pointed wordlessly to the owl perched on his desk.

"An owl?" he asked, slowly stepping closer.

"How would it have gotten in here?" she asked fearfully. "I'm sure it's rabid. It must be. Owls are nocturnal … I can't even imagine how …"

"I'll take care of it," Kingsley said, noticing the letter it carried.

"You should get someone from animal control in here," she argued.

"I can handle it," Kingsley said. "I grew up on a farm. I know how to handle animals."

"If you're sure …"

"I am. Go on outside, though, just in case."

She nodded and hurried from the room, shutting the door behind her. Kingsley took the letter from the bird and looked down at his name. He immediately recognized the writing.

"Tonks," he sighed. "I can't believe she would send me an _owl_ at work …"

He grabbed the bird, and made a large display of carrying it out of the building. He considered modifying his coworker's memory, but decided against it. She would love retelling the story of the "rabid owl" over and over, and he couldn't deny her the pleasure of it.

* * *

"She'll be all right," Dana said, sitting back down with Remus and Olivia. "She just needs to scream and think that I'm an unjust task master for awhile, but she'll be fine in the end."

"I didn't think she'd be so upset about it. She adores Remus – I thought she'd be thrilled to be able to see him more," Olivia said. She smiled. "I can't wait to get back to England. I can't wait to help – _really_ help – defeat Voldemort."

"You haven't been happy in France?" Remus asked.

"Of course I have been," Olivia replied. "But, with all that's happening …" She smiled helplessly. "I've been an Auror and an Order member since I was eighteen. Fighting Voldemort … it's what I know. It's what I want to do, but it's something I don't feel like I _can_ do if I'm here. I want to be in the middle of the action."

"We need to consider the logistics of this," Dana said. "How soon do you think we can move?"

"Well, you both need to worry about jobs," Remus said. "And you need a place to live. I would say that you can stay at Grimmauld Place until you find your own places, but the Order has been relocated until it can be determined if it now belongs to Harry or to Bellatrix."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't want to be there, anyway. It holds far too many memories for me. I mean …"

"No, you're right," Dana said. "We don't want to go backward."

"Right," Remus said. "Well, I need to find a place to stay for the time being myself, so maybe we could take rooms at the Leaky Cauldron for now."

"That's a good idea," Olivia agreed at once. She looked at them expectantly. "When do you want to go?"

"Don't look at me," Remus said quickly. "You two are the ones who are uprooting their lives, not me."

Olivia turned to Dana.

"I'll see what I can do."

* * *

Promptly at seven, Kingsley entered the Three Broomsticks. Tonks was already there, sitting at a table in the corner. She waved to him when she saw him enter. Smiling, he crossed to join her.

"Hey," he said as he sat down. "How was your day at Hogwarts?"

"Exhausting," she smiled. "How goes the life of a Muggle secretary?"

"That would be a Muggle secretary in the Prime Minister's office," Kingsley corrected with a grin. "And, while we're talking about my job, I have to make a request."

"Do you need more paperclips?" she asked with a grin.

"Actually, fewer _owls_ from a good friend," he replied with a wink.

Tonks's eyes opened wide. "Oh, King. I didn't even think – oh, man, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sent that to you, should I?"

He grinned. "Don't worry about it. Only one woman saw him, and I handled it myself. I told her that I had lived on a farm as a child, so I knew how to handle rabid animals."

"You told her it was rabid?"

He grinned. "Actually, she came up with that one on her own."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I was just so overwhelmed … I just wanted to talk to you, and I thought maybe you could use a drink as much as I could."

"I'm always up for being your drinking buddy," Kingsley grinned. "So, tell me all about your first day at work."

"It was tough!" Tonks exclaimed. "I was nervous going in, of course, since it's a new assignment and I'll be in charge. But, the one thing I wasn't worried about was Hogwarts. I went to school there, right? I know the building and the grounds, right?"

"One would think," Kingsley agreed.

"One would be wrong," Tonks replied. "You'd be amazed by how much you don't know about that castle."

"Really?"

"Really. There's secret passages everywhere, trick stairs, trick doors, shortcuts…. I'm just glad that I've got over a month to learn all the ins and outs of the castle before the students are back."

"When do the other Aurors join you?"

"The week before school begins," she said, relaying the information Dumbledore and McGonagall had given her at their last meeting of the day. "Dumbledore said he's going to try to keep a couple Order members stationed at the school, too."

"You've got a big operation to run." Kingsley sighed. "I sort of envy you."

She smiled. "You realize that you have one of _the_ most important assignments, right? You're guarding the Muggle Prime Minister, for God's sake! I think the only thing bigger would be guarding the queen herself!"

He laughed. "Thanks for making me feel better."

She laughed with him. "Thanks for drinking with me."

"Ah, I can't let you drink alone. Come on, let's get good and drunk tonight."

"We both have to work tomorrow."

"All right, tipsy, then. We'll make sure you aren't nearly so worried when you go into work tomorrow."

* * *

Despite Kingsley's best efforts, Tonks was still on edge when he left her that night. He sighed as he walked into his flat, not sure of how to help her. He had tried joking, making her talk about how everything would be fine, distractions, amusing stories … All the strategies that usually left Tonks stress-free had failed. What could he be missing?

"Of course!" he exclaimed. "I can't help her, but that doesn't mean someone else can't!"

He sat down to consider what he was planning.

"She'll kill me if she finds out," he muttered. "But … I know she wants to talk to him, even if she didn't say anything to me. And, who knows? Maybe this is just the little nudge that they need."

He grinned. He had never played matchmaker before, but he was more than willing to give it a try.

* * *

Remus walked into the sitting room the next day to see Dana at her desk with an expression of shock on her face.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "I've been asked to come to St. Mungo's for an interview."

Remus looked at her in surprise. "But you just sent your resume in yesterday!"

"I know," she said. "Apparently, they're looking for trauma healers now, which is what I specialize in." She looked up at him. "You know, yesterday, Olivia said that this – moving back home – feels right. She's right, of course. Even when you first proposed it, I knew what I had to do. But this job offer … it's like everything fell into alignment to make this happen, isn't it?"

Remus grinned. "I'm so glad. Now Olivia just needs to get her transfer, and we'll be set."

"She'll get it," Dana replied. "There's no chance she won't. Her brother will take care of her."

"Of course."

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the owl that flew into the room. Remus laughed.

"I guess they really want you to come for that interview."

Dana took the letter from the bird and shook her head.

"This one's for you."

Remus frowned slightly as he opened the letter.

"_Remus,_

"_I'm sorry to bother you, but I rather need your help. Tonks has been given a new assignment, and it has her a bit stressed. I've tried talking to her, but I can't seem to get her to calm down. I know the two of you are good friends; I thought that perhaps speaking with you would help. Would have the time to see her?_

"_Thanks so much for your help, Remus._

"_Sincerely,_

"Kingsley Shacklebolt" 

"Not bad news?" Dana asked, watching his face.

"Not bad … just odd."

"Odd?"

"Yes." Remus handed her the letter.

Dana read it over, and gave it back. "So, go talk to her," she shrugged. "I agree, it's rather odd to see something like that in a letter, but you're out of the country. He probably would have spoken to you in person if he could have found you."

"You're right, of course."

She looked at him quizzically. "Is there something you aren't telling me?"

Remus sighed. "Don't worry about it. Just… When is your interview?"

"Tomorrow," she said, looking back at the parchment spread out on the desk. "Will you stay here with Laura?"

"Of course I will."

"Good," she smiled. "The sooner we can get this straightened out, the sooner we can go back home."


	29. Under Control

A/N: Thanks for reading and _reviewing_! Enjoy this chapter!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Under Control

Dana left early the next morning to interview with St. Mungo's. Her mother went with her, feeling that Dana needed the moral support. Remus remained at her house in France to keep Laura company.

By the time Laura rolled out of bed, Remus had already eaten breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen, and had settled himself at the kitchen table reading the _Daily Prophet_. She smiled at him half-heartedly as she came down the stairs.

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning, love," Remus replied. "How are you?"

She shrugged. "All right, I suppose. Mum's gone to the interview?"

"Yes. Your grandmother went with her. She didn't seem to think that your mum wanted to travel alone."

Laura smiled at that. "More like Grandma wanted to meet up with all her old friends. They're probably playing cards right now."

Remus laughed. "I wouldn't be surprised." He paused, and put down the paper. "Do you want something for breakfast? I can make you something."

She shook her head. "I'll just get myself some toast."

"You should have more than that."

She rolled her eyes. "You're worse than Mum."

He laughed. "Well, I've never been compared to a mother before."

Laura laughed with him, and busied herself with making toast. Remus watched her for a moment, then picked up his paper again.

"Can I ask you a question?" Laura asked without turning from the counter.

"Of course," Remus replied, putting the paper back on the table.

She turned to face him before speaking. "Why is Mum making me move?" She asked the question in a rush, as though afraid that Remus would stop her before she could get it all out.

"I think she explained that very well yesterday," he replied. "I suggested that you all come back, and both your mother and Aunt Olivia were very excited about the idea. They want to help to fight Voldemort – something that you've been begging us to let you do ever since we first started talking about restarting the Order."

She sighed. "And did she really think that I'd be excited about it?"

Remus smiled. "I think she thought you'd be indifferent. She honestly didn't think it would make much of a difference in your life."

"How could she think that?"

"Well, she's worked it out so that you'll still go to the same school," Remus said. "And, really, that's where you are for most of the year. Is your summer home really all that important?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "If we stay here, I can still see my friends and …"

Remus looked at her for a moment. "Sit down, Laura. Talk to me for a bit."

She put her toast on a plate, and sat down across from Remus at the table.

"What is the problem here?" he asked. "Why don't you want to move?"

She looked away. "You wouldn't understand."

"Really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Laura, look at me."

She reluctantly turned to meet his eyes.

"You have ranted and raved at your mother, Aunt Olivia and I for telling you that you're too young to have all the same information that we have, or that you wouldn't understand what's going on in the world. Don't treat me the way you think we're treating you. You know how awful that feels."

"I guess you're right," she agreed begrudgingly.

"Good," he said. "Now, tell me. Who exactly is it that you're so reluctant to leave?"

She blushed. "What makes you think it's someone specific?"

"Because I was fifteen once, and I know that I never got that upset about leaving James, Sirius and Peter for the summer." He paused. "I _did_, however, get quite upset about leaving Laura."

"Your wife?" she almost whispered.

Remus nodded. "Mm-hmm. But, before she was my wife, she was my girlfriend. We started dating during our fifth year. And, believe me, that summer and every summer after were so hard for me. I hated spending all that time without her."

"What did you do?" she asked.

"We wrote to one another every day. We usually visited each other, too, at least for a couple days."

"And that was good enough?"

He smiled. "What choice did we have?"

"It's just … it's really hard," Laura said quietly, her face now quite red.

Remus swallowed, finding it nearly impossible to ask his fifteen-year-old goddaughter the next question. "So, there _is_ someone, then?"

"Yes," she whispered.

Remus nodded, trying to maintain his composure. He had, of course, just admitted dating when he was her age. Even so, fifteen seemed so much older when _he_ was that age than it did when _she_ was that age.

"He's great, Uncle Remus, really great," she said in a rush, getting over her embarrassment. "He's in my year, he gets top marks, he plays Quidditch…. You'd just love him, I'm sure you would."

"Do you?" he asked.

"Uncle Remus!" she exclaimed, blushing furiously again. "How can you ask me that?"

He smiled. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think …"

"It's all right," she assured him.

Realizing that he had overstepped his bounds with her, he chose a different line of questioning. "Will you tell me his name?"

"Pierre," she replied. She sighed. "I hate being away from him now, and we're both in France. What's it going to be like when we're in different countries?"

"You'll make it, Laura," Remus smiled. "I'm sure it'll be fine. You'll still be able to write to one another, and maybe you'll be able to visit one another."

"I suppose," she said glumly.

"Does your mum know about him?"

She shook her head. "Please don't tell her. It's awful enough that you know. Having her know would be impossible!"

Remus couldn't help laughing. "Your mum dated when she was your age. I'm sure she'll be fine with it."

She shook her head furiously. "I don't want her to know!"

"Sweetheart, it might make things easier on you. If she knows, it'll be much easier to ask her if you can invite him to visit you in England."

"I guess you have a point," she said reluctantly.

"Do you want me to tell her?"

She considered this for a moment. "No, I'll do it."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. Please, Uncle Remus, promise me you won't tell her – or anyone else."

"I promise." He smiled, and rose from the table. "Is there anything else I should know about you?" he asked as he picked up a pitcher of juice.

"Not really," she admitted with a smile. "Haven't I shocked you enough for one day?"

He laughed, pouring them each a glass of juice. "You know, I do have a pretty high tolerance for shocking statements. Aside from the fact that I _was_ fifteen back in the dark ages, I _did_ teach quite a few teenagers a few years ago."

She smiled. "I know. You're the completely unflappable one. Nothing ever shocks you." She paused, and smiled again. "Do you have any secrets to share with me?"

He smiled. "Laura, do I really look like the type of person who keeps secrets?"

She looked at him critically for a moment. "Yes."

He laughed. "Well, there's nothing you'd be interested in."

"You never tell me anything!" she said with an exaggerated sigh. She looked down into her cup of juice, growing quiet.

"Hey," Remus said. "Are you all right, little girl?"

She looked up at him. "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything," he smiled.

"Please don't tease me about Pierre."

He looked into her eyes, realizing with no small measure of surprise how concerned she was about the situation. "Of course I won't, sweetheart."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"Laura," he said slowly, "you can always come to me with anything you need to talk about. You know that, right? I won't tease you, not over something like this, nor anything else that's important to you."

"I know," she said, her eyes showing relief. "I just …"

He smiled, and touched her hand. "I love you, little girl. I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks," she said again. She covered his hand with hers. "I love you, too."

* * *

"This is insane," Tonks muttered to herself as she looked over the extensive master schedule of Hogwarts classes. "How can anyone keep all this straight in their head?"

A knock sounded on her door; she jerked her head up from the parchment that covered her entire kitchen table and spread off the table toward the floor. She grabbed her wand, and pressed her ear against the door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Molly Weasley, dear."

She smiled as she opened the door. "Hi, Molly."

"Hello, dear," Molly smiled as she entered Tonks's flat. "How are you?"

"Fine."

Molly looked at her closely. "Are you sure?"

Tonks smiled. "Please don't tell me that I look tired. That's probably the worst thing anyone can ever say."

"No, dear, it's not that, it's just …"

"What?"

"There's something about your eyes."

Tonks frowned, and went to look at herself in the mirror over her fireplace. "My God," she muttered, looking into the pale blue-gray depths of her eyes. "I haven't had them this color in years."

"Why not?"

"This is my actual eye color," she said. She smiled. "I've always hated it – the Blacks have eyes this color. Didn't you ever notice Sirius's eyes?"

Molly looked thoughtful. "I suppose you're right."

She nodded. "Pretty much the entire family has these eyes. It makes sense when you think about it. Blue is recessive, and when you keep marrying your cousins … I just always wanted to distance myself from them, like my mum did. So, I almost never have my eyes this color."

"Why did you want them like that today?"

Tonks looked a bit worried. "I didn't do this," she said.

"You – you didn't?"

"No."

"But why would …?"

"I don't know." Tonks bit her lip, then decided that she couldn't dwell on it while Molly was there. "Enough about that. I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about my eye color."

"No," Molly said. She plastered a falsely bright smile on her face. "I wanted to let you know that Bill is engaged."

"Really?" Tonks exclaimed. "To Fleur?"

"Yes," Molly said, still with the same false smile.

Tonks laughed. "You know, Molly, you don't have to pretend to be happy for my sake. Personally, I'm offended that Bill didn't tell me himself."

"Oh, all he can see is that girl. I'm afraid he's neglecting others to spend more time with her," Molly said, obviously annoyed. "He's having her stay with us now. He seems to think that we all need to be one big family before the wedding."

"Well, I'd say that's a good thing, since he's marrying her," Tonks laughed.

"I was hoping you could talk to him about it, Tonks," Molly said. "I know you and Bill are old friends, and I'm sure he'd listen to you."

"Listen to me?" Tonks repeated. She frowned. "Molly, are you asking … Do you want me to try to talk him out of marrying Fleur?"

"Well, I was hoping …" Molly trailed off, her face flushing. "I'm sorry, Tonks. It was silly, I suppose."

Tonks smiled understandingly. "If I can find the time, I'll talk to him, Molly, but I won't try to talk him out of getting married."

"Oh, Tonks, I'm sorry," Molly said. "I know you're busy enough with work. You and Remus probably barely have time to see one another…" She trailed off again, her eyes widening in horror at the implications she had put into that last statement.

Tonks smiled sadly. "Remus and I aren't dating, Molly."

"You're not?" Molly asked in surprise. "But I thought –"

"What Sirius thought he saw does not qualify as what actually happened," Tonks said. "Remus is a great friend, but it stops there."

Molly looked at her closely, noting the sorrow in her blue-gray eyes. "Are you quite sure?"

"I think I would know if I were dating him."

"Yes, I suppose you would," Molly said slowly. She felt a sudden, strong desire to mother the young woman before her. "You know, dear, I'd like you to come over for dinner tomorrow."

Tonks smiled. "All part of the plan to get Bill away from Fleur?"

"No," Molly chuckled. "I'd just like to have you over. I know the children would love to see you. Now that Hermione's home with her own family, I think Ginny misses having a 'big sister' around."

Tonks grinned. "What about Fleur?"

Molly made a face. "Having those two in the same room without Ginny being rude is rather a miracle in itself."

Tonks laughed. "It can't really be that bad."

"You'll have to come over and see for yourself."

"All right, I'll come," Tonks laughed. "What time?"

"How about seven?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then."

* * *

Remus and Laura were playing chess when Dana and her mother came home. Laura jumped up, ignoring the chess pieces that yelled at her for abandoning them in the midst of battle.

"Mum!" she exclaimed. "How did it go?"

Dana smiled, flushing slightly. "Grandma and I only got halfway to Diagon Alley before their owl reached me. They've offered me the position."

"And did you accept?" Remus asked.

She nodded, her eyes beginning to sparkle. "I start next week."

"That's fantastic!" Remus exclaimed. He crossed the room in two strides, and hugged Dana close, lifting her off the ground to swing her around. "I knew you'd get it!"

She laughed. "Put me down, Remus!"

He set her back on the floor, and she hugged him again.

"I just can't believe it! Everything's happening so fast."

Her mother patted her cheek. "It's wonderful, Dana. It's all working out exactly as you had hoped." She crossed to Laura, and put her arm around her. "Don't you want to congratulate your mother?"

"Of course," Laura said. She detached herself from her grandmother, and hugged Dana. "Congratulations, Mum."

Dana hugged her tightly. "You'll love it there, Laura, I know you will."

When she released her daughter, she was shocked to see the tears that stood in Laura's eyes. Dana touched Laura's cheek, wiping a tear away.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing," Laura said, sniffling.

"This is not nothing!" Dana replied.

Remus looked at Mrs. Morgan, then at the kitchen door. She nodded, and they left the room together.

"Do you know what this is all about?" she asked.

Remus nodded.

"And I suppose you're not going to tell me?"

Remus sighed. "I promised Laura I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Not even her grandmother?"

He laughed. "I'm sure you're on the 'people she _really_ doesn't want to know' list."

Mrs. Morgan smiled knowingly. "It's a boy, isn't it?"

Remus smiled. "Well, you didn't hear it from me."

She nodded. "Laura's a beautiful girl. Of course all the young men would want to date her." She bit her lip. "I just can't believe she's old enough for it."

"Neither can I," Remus smiled. "It sort of makes me feel old."

She laughed. "At least you're not her grandmother! Think of how old that makes me feel!"

The kitchen door swung open, and Dana walked in.

"Well," she said, running her hands through her hair, "I'd say all of yesterday makes considerably more sense now."

"She told you, then?" Remus asked.

"You knew about Pierre?" Dana demanded. "You _knew_, and you didn't tell me?"

"Calm down, Mum," Remus smiled. "She just told me this morning. I didn't have a chance to tell you – and, there's the fact that she swore me to secrecy."

Dana sighed. "I can't believe she didn't think she could come to me with this."

Her mother looked at her and smiled. "Dana, how old were you when you went on your first date?"

Dana frowned. "Probably her age," she admitted.

"And when was the first one you told me about? Because, to be honest, dear, Aidan is the only boy I ever remember hearing about."

Dana laughed. "Okay, Mum, I see your point."

"Good."

"Where is she now?" Remus asked.

"Writing to Pierre," Dana replied.

"She's telling him that you're moving in a letter?" Mrs. Morgan asked in surprise.

Dana nodded.

"I'd think she'd want to tell him in person," she mused.

"Oh, these kids convey everything through written messages," Dana said. "Sometimes I doubt they actually talk to one another even when they're at school."

Remus was about to comment about the notes his own students passed when an owl flew through the window. He recognized the aged bird immediately.

"That's the Weasleys' owl," he said. "I thought they weren't supposed to use him for long journeys."

"I can see why," Dana said, bending over the animal, who had collapsed in the middle of her table. "Here, Remus, this letter is for you." She handed Remus the letter. "I'll see what I can do for this poor little guy."

Remus opened the letter while Dana and her mother tried to help Errol.

"_Dear Remus,  
_

"_I hope this letter finds you, as I'm not sure where you're staying right now. Feel free to keep Errol for a few days to let him rest if he seems to need it. I felt bad using him at all, but I needed to get this message to you._

"_I went earlier today to visit Tonks, and, frankly, I'm concerned about her. She just doesn't seem quite herself, and the sparkle has very literally gone from her eyes. I think she's forcing herself to work too hard, particularly given recent events in her family. I thought that perhaps you could speak with her. It would probably cheer her up to see another friend._

"_Thank you, Remus, for anything you can do to help. I just adore Tonks, and want to do anything I can to see her happy again._

"_I'm sure we'll be in touch soon for one reason or another._

"Molly Weasley" 

Remus sighed, bringing Dana's attention away from Errol. She looked up at him with concern.

"Not bad news?" she asked a bit fearfully.

"No," he said. "Just another letter asking me to go cheer up Tonks."

"From the same person?"

"No, this one's from Molly Weasley."

Mrs. Morgan smiled. "I didn't realize you had the power to cheer people up, Remus."

He smiled. "Well, my cheering charms are quite good," he said lightly.

"Go see her, Remus," Dana said. "Olivia's well on her way back to normal, and I don't think we need you to help us pack. We'll be fine for a few days without you."

"You're sure?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm sure. Just go see Tonks. Do what you can for her."

Remus nodded. "All right, then." He smiled slightly. "I'm not sure what I'll be able to do, but I can try my best."

* * *

Tonks stared at her eyes in the mirror for what felt like days after Molly left. Even when she finally went back to work, she couldn't stop thinking about them. Every time she walked past a reflective surface, she would pause to see if they had changed to – well, any color, really. She even would have been happier with a deeper shade of blue.

"What is wrong with me?" she asked, rubbing her hands over her face. "Why won't my eyes do what I want them to do?"

A knock on her door interrupted her discussion with herself. Sighing, she picked up her wand as she crossed to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Remus Lupin."

She gasped, and threw the door open. "Remus!" she exclaimed. "When did you get back?"

He smiled, and stepped into her flat. "Just this minute. I understand that you've been given a new, rather stressful mission, and I thought you might like to talk about it."

She nodded. "I'm guarding Hogwarts, Remus."

He raised his eyebrows. "That's a pretty tall order. You're not on your own, are you?"

"No," she said. "John is sending me a team of Aurors, but they won't arrive until the week before school starts."

"Is this for the Order or for work?"

"Both, really. John sent me there, and I'll be answering to him, but Dumbledore is giving me some Order members to work with, too."

"So you're in charge?"

"Yes," she said, expelling all the air in her lungs. "I'm the lead Auror. I'm running the mission."

"Impressive," Remus said, smiling at her. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," she said. "It's exciting, but it's really overwhelming."

"Which part?" Remus asked.

She laughed shortly. "I'd go so far as to say all of it. Everything is just on the largest scale! I never realized how many secret passages the castle has, and the master schedule is too big for my table."

Remus looked at the parchment that fell over the edges of the kitchen table. "May I?"

"Of course."

Remus looked down at the document. "Well, this isn't so bad."

"Maybe not to you – you worked there!"

He smiled. "Tonks, you need to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick."

"Have you been talking to my mother? That sounds like something she'd say."

Remus shook his head. "That is the second time today I've been compared to someone's mother."

She giggled in spite of herself. "I'm sorry. You don't generally strike me as the maternal type."

"Well, I suppose that's a good thing." He paused, and looked at her closely. "I am being serious, though. You're killing yourself over this for no reason."

"Remus, this is the most important assignment I've ever been given. I can't afford to mess it up. It would be career suicide."

"Maybe, but don't you agree that _actual_ suicide is far worse?"

"I suppose," she smiled.

"Now, let's go over this schedule. I'm sure I can make you understand it."

"Don't get too excited," she said. "I'm not exactly the greatest mind out there."

He raised his eyebrows. "Weren't you a Ravenclaw?"

She shrugged. "Call it a fluke."

"Don't act like you aren't clever to impress me," he said mildly. "It will have exactly the opposite effect."

"Right," she said. She pulled her hair back into a messy bun and stuck her wand in it to hold it in place, then bent over the table next to Remus.

He looked at her hair with one eyebrow raised.

"Don't comment," she said. "Moody always gives me a hard time about it, but I haven't lost a single hair yet doing this. Besides, nothing holds my hair as well as my wand."

Remus shook his head. "Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart."

She smiled and winked at him.

Remus looked at her for a moment, and found himself captivated by her eyes, which were slowly changing to a beautiful shade of brown. After losing himself in them for a moment, he cleared his throat. "I've never seen your eyes look like that."

"Lord, are they still blue?" she asked.

"No, they – well, they're changing."

Tonks gasped, and ran for the nearest mirror. She shrieked with joy as she watched her eyes change color.

"Everything all right?" Remus asked.

"My eyes are changing!" she exclaimed. "I've been so worried!"

"You couldn't change them?" Remus frowned.

"I was just having an off day," she said dismissively. "Come on, let's get to that schedule."

* * *

It was late when Remus finally prepared to leave Tonks's flat. She gave him a beaming smile as she showed him to the door.

"Thank you so much," she said as they both stepped outside her flat into the hall. "I would have spent the next week trying to figure out that schedule without you."

"You're welcome," Remus smiled. "If you'd like, I can help you figure out the castle, too."

"Teachers know more than the average person?" she teased.

"You could say that," he smiled.

"I'd love a guided tour, then," she grinned. "When would you like to go?"

"I'll owl or Floo to set up a date."

"All right," she agreed. "Oh, and just so you know, I'm probably going to move soon."

"Move? Why?"

"Dumbledore thinks I should live closer to the school."

Remus nodded. "You're moving to Hogsmeade, then?"

"It looks like."

"Well, if you need any help with that, just ask."

She smiled. "Thanks, Remus. I really appreciate all you've done for me."

He waved her gratitude aside. "You'd do the same for me."

"Yes," she agreed. "Still, though." She leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." She smiled as she lowered her heels back to the floor. "Good night, Remus."

Before he could say a word, she was gone, back inside her home with the door closed behind her. As though in a daze, Remus reached up to touch the place where her lips had grazed his skin.

"Good night," he whispered.


	30. Changes, or Lack Thereof

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Changes, or Lack Thereof

Promptly at seven, Tonks Apparated into the Weasleys' yard. She smiled as she looked up at the house. She still wasn't sure why Molly had invited her for dinner, but she wasn't about to refuse a meal with the Weasleys. She adored them all, and knew that she would have a fun evening with them. Besides, she was eager to see the interaction between Fleur and her future brothers- and sister-in-law. She quickly made her way up the walk and knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

"Tonks," she replied.

The door opened a crack, and a smiling face peeked around it. "Prove it."

She smiled. "You don't believe it's me, Bill?"

"Hey, you can't be too careful these days," he grinned. "Prove to me that you're Tonks."

She sighed, and changed her hair from the pink it had been for several days to jet-black. "Good enough?"

"Perfect," he laughed. He opened the door all the way to admit her, hugging her as soon as she crossed the threshold. "Hi, Tonks."

"Hi, Bill," she grinned. "I hear that congratulations are in order."

He beamed. "Yeah, Mum said that she told you."

"You know, you could have told me yourself," she said, playfully hitting him on the arm. "I thought we were friends! We spent way too much time together at Hogwarts for you to keep things like _your engagement_ from me now."

Bill laughed. "All right, all right, I'm sorry! I'll never do it again, I promise."

"Bill, I definitely hope this is the only time you're ever engaged," she laughed.

"Fair enough," he grinned. "Come on in and say hi to everyone. Mum would kill me if she knew that I was keeping you in the foyer when there's an entire houseful of people who will want to see you."

Laughing, Tonks followed him down the hall into the living room. The entire Weasley clan, with the obvious exception of Percy, was gathered for the evening meal. Even Fred and George were there. Tonks grinned as she surveyed the scene, from Ron, who was staring at Fleur as though he had never seen a girl before, to Arthur, who was begging the twins not to tell their mother something.

"Hey, everyone!" Bill yelled. "Tonks is here!"

"Tonks!" Ginny yelled, her face lighting up. She jumped up from her spot next to Fleur, and ran to greet her. "Hi! Mum said you were coming tonight."

Tonks grinned at her. "How's everything, Ginny?"

Ginny made a face. "Great. Just fantastic."

Bill gave her a frown. "_Try_, Ginny," he begged.

"_You_ try!" she exclaimed. "I'm so over her."

Bill sighed. "Ginny's having a bit of trouble with the idea of being a bridesmaid," he informed Tonks.

"You're going to be a bridesmaid in Bill and Fleur's wedding?" Tonks asked. "That's great, Ginny! Congratulations!"

Ginny shook her head. "The things I do for my brothers."

"You don't want to be a bridesmaid?"

"No, I think it's great to be a bridesmaid." She lowered her voice. "I just don't want to be _her_ bridesmaid."

"Ginny," Bill sighed, "you're killing me."

"Hi, Tonks," Fred said, joining them. He flashed her a winning smile. "How's things?"

She looked at him curiously. "What exactly do you want from me?" she asked warily.

"What make you think I want something?" Fred asked innocently.

"Honestly, some people are so suspicious," George said, stepping up beside his twin.

Tonks shook her head. "How's the joke shop?"

"Fabulous," George said with flourish. "Actually, Tonks, that's what we wanted to talk to you about –"

"Ha!" she exclaimed. "I knew there was something!"

"It's these hats we've been making –"

"Enough," Arthur said, his expression weary. "Hi, Tonks."

"Hi, Arthur," Tonks smiled, accepting his kiss on her cheek. "How are you?"

"Worked half to death," he smiled. "You?"

"Same," she grinned.

"Tonks, hi," Ron said as he crossed to join them.

Tonks grinned, rather impressed that he had taken his eyes off Fleur long enough to notice that she was there. "Hi, Ron. How's my future coworker?"

Ron grinned, the tips of his ears turning pink. "Fine."

"Tonks, this is Fleur," Bill said from her other side. "Fleur, this is Tonks. She's an old friend of mine and Charlie's from Hogwarts."

Tonks turned to greet Bill's fiancée, trying to smile brightly. "Hello."

"'Ello," Fleur said with a smile, holding out her hand.

Tonks reached out to shake Fleur's hand; in the process, she somehow managed to trip over her feet, falling into the other girl. Bill, who apparently had excellent reflexes, caught Fleur before she could fall. Tonks didn't have a savior in the room; she managed to catch herself on an end table.

"Ouch," she said, straightening up. "Sorry about that, Fleur. I really know how to make a first impression, don't I?"

Fleur was looking at her as though she had grown a second head. Tonks was about to comment further when Molly appeared in the doorway.

"Dinner's ready, everyone," she smiled. Her face lit up when she saw Tonks. "Tonks, dear, I'm so glad you could make it!"

"Thanks for the invitation, Molly," she smiled.

"Well, come in, everyone, and sit down." She ushered her children ahead of her, and paused to squeeze Tonks's arm. "What do you think of our new girl?" she whispered.

Tonks grinned. "I think she hates me."

"Oh, Tonks," Molly laughed. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you."

"You didn't see me knock her over," Tonks grinned. "Fortunately for me, Bill caught her. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if she had hit the floor."

"She would have burned you with her eyes," Ginny said with a knowing nod.

Tonks laughed. "I didn't know anyone but Molly heard me say that."

"Oh, I hear everything," Ginny grinned.

"Do you, now?" Molly asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that why you didn't hear me ask you to clean your room yesterday?"

Ginny heaved a sigh. "Come off it, Mum. You know I was standing right here when Tonks started talking. Can I sit next to her at dinner?"

Molly shook her head. "Of course."

All in all, Tonks could see why Molly was so frustrated with Fleur. By the end of dinner, Tonks wasn't sure if anyone but Fleur had spoken. She had manipulated the entire conversation, monopolizing it with wedding details. Tonks watched the others at the table closely, trying to see how they took the conversation.

Bill, obviously, hung on Fleur's every word. Ron, too, appeared to be captivated. Tonks shook her head as she watched him. While she was eager to help him in his pursuit of a career as an Auror, he would need to find a way to deal with this veela issue before she would do anything for him. The girl wasn't even a full veela! She shouldn't have such an effect on him.

Fred, George and Arthur seemed oblivious to Fleur's conversation. Fred and George were engaged in their own conversation, while Arthur appeared to be mentally a million miles away. Molly and Ginny both glared at Fleur the entire time she spoke. Tonks wanted to laugh when she looked at them. It was going to be very difficult for them to give Bill up to another woman.

At last the meal ended. Tonks smiled as everyone pushed their chairs back from the table.

"Let me help you clean up, Molly."

"Thank you, dear," Molly smiled.

"I will 'elp, too," Fleur declared.

Ginny fumbled with the plates she had already stacked to carry to the sink. She looked at her mother, her eyes wide with surprise. Molly, too, looked shocked.

"Well, thank you, Fleur," she said. "That would be lovely."

Tonks grabbed the nearest items, an empty platter and a half-empty gravy boat. "Where do you want these, Molly?"

"On the counter, please, dear," she replied.

Tonks started for the counter, and tripped over the rug. She fell forward, losing her grip on both the platter and the gravy boat. The platter flew across the room and crashed against the wall. The gravy boat didn't make it nearly so far; it crashed into Fleur, splashing gravy all over her.

Fleur shrieked as though she had been stabbed, her hands immediately going to her hair. Shaking her head, Molly went to undo the damage.

"Nice one, Tonks," George laughed.

"Did you know Tonks's middle name is Grace?" Fred asked.

"You know, I did hear that," George grinned. "Did you know she was supposed to be a ballerina, but realized the Auror gig would pay more?"

"Oh, funny," Tonks said dryly. "You're just comedians, both of you."

"Why, thank you," Fred grinned. "Coming from you, that's quite high praise."

"Tonks, why don't you come with me," Bill offered. "Mum and Ginny can handle this."

"Oh, thanks, Bill," Ginny said sarcastically. "I'll remember this!"

"You're my favorite sister, Gin," Bill grinned. "Come on, Tonks."

Tonks gratefully left with Bill. Fleur was now rambling on and on in French. Tonks was a bit afraid that she was cursing her – or, at the very least, calling her horrible names.

"Thanks," Tonks said as he led her outside. "I'm sorry to be such a problem. Your mum probably regrets inviting me now."

Bill laughed. "Mum knows how you are. I don't think she's upset at all. Fleur, on the other hand …"

"I'm sorry, Bill," Tonks sighed. "She'll probably give you an earful tonight about what horrible friends you have."

Bill grinned. "If that's the case, chances are, I won't understand half of it. She usually goes into French when she's really upset."

"Oh," Tonks said, unsure of how to reply. She decided to change the track of the conversation. "When's the wedding?"

"Next summer. We want to get married right after the kids get back from school."

Tonks smiled. "A summer wedding will be nice."

Bill nodded. "Yeah, we think so." He paused, and glanced sideways at her. "Charlie will be there."

"I would hope so," Tonks smiled. "He _is_ your brother. Will he be your best man?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"I just … I thought you might be excited to see him."

Tonks turned to look him in the eye. "Bill," she said, "of course I'm excited to see Charlie. We were … very close. But, anything between us ended when we broke up. We're friends now, but it ends there."

"Oh."

She smiled. "We were just kids, Bill. I don't see you marrying the girl you dated when you were at Hogwarts."

"No, of course not," he smiled. "I'm sorry, Tonks. I guess it's a problem everyone has when they get engaged. They want to see all their friends happy, too."

"I _am_ happy, Bill," she smiled. "Can't you tell?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

"Bill!" she laughed. "What a horrible thing to say!"

"Tonks, we're friends, right?"

"Of course."

"Right. Then, tell me something."

"Anything."

"Why were your eyes stuck blue the other day?"

She bit her lip. "You heard about that, huh?"

"Yeah."

She sighed. "I have no idea why my eyes were stuck blue."

"Really?" Bill asked dubiously.

"Well …"

"Tell me."

She sighed. "It's too complicated to explain."

He looked at her closely. "Make your hair match mine."

"What?"

"I want you to look like you belong in this family. Let's pretend you and Charlie had an incestuous relationship."

"You are completely sick. You know that, right?"

"Just do it."

She sighed, and looked at his hair while concentrating on her own. After a moment, he looked at her with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

"Your hair – it's not the right color."

"What color is it?"

"Sort of magenta."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, that can't be good."

"Tonks, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure."

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Bill, I love you for your concern, but don't worry about me," she said, forcing a smile. "I'm sure everything is fine. I've just been working a lot lately, and stressing myself out over this Hogwarts assignment. Stress can affect my abilities. Don't worry about me."

"Are you sure you're all right?"

She smiled. "Positive."

* * *

"So, we're really ready?"

"We are," Dana smiled. "Laura and I finally have everything boxed up. Are you?"

"Yup," Olivia said cheerfully. "How did Laura take packing?"

Dana made a face. "I'd rather not revisit it."

Remus laughed. "Let's just say that it's a good thing she's still underage. If she weren't, I'm afraid Dana would be missing some limbs right now."

Olivia smiled. "She's awfully moody, isn't she?"

Remus shrugged. "She's that age. Don't you remember what it was like?"

"I think I blocked out that period of my life," Olivia grinned. She looked at both of her friends, her eyes sparkling. "Can you believe we're doing this? Going home?"

Dana shook her head. "I don't think it's really real to me yet."

"It will be at this time tomorrow, when you're in the Leaky Cauldron," Remus replied. He grinned. "I'm so excited that you girls are doing this. I can't wait to have you back in home with me."

"It's going to take us some time to get settled," Dana said.

"True," Olivia said. "When do we start looking at houses?"

"Day after tomorrow," Dana replied. "Tomorrow is our travel day."

Olivia yawned. "Well, I should get home, then. We'll have a lot to do tomorrow." She stood up and hugged Dana. "Thank you for a lovely dinner."

"You're welcome. You'll be over tomorrow morning when you're ready to go?"

Olivia nodded. "Expect me by ten."

* * *

As soon as she left the Weasleys, Tonks Apparated to Kingsley's flat. Fortunately, he was home, flipping through a Muggle magazine that he had picked up at work.

"Hi, King," she said.

He looked up in surprise. "Hey, Hogwarts Master."

"Don't tease," she said, sitting down next to him on the couch.

He closed his magazine, immediately realizing that she needed his full attention. "What's wrong, love?"

"King - I can't morph."

Kingsley's eyes opened wide. "What?" he whispered. "You can't change your appearance at all?"

"No, I can some … but not like I usually can." She picked up a strand of her hair. "This is supposed to match Bill Weasley's hair."

Kingsley frowned. "Has this ever happened before?"

"No."

"Do you know why it's happening?"

She bit her lip. "Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm not sure."

"But you have an idea, right?"

She sighed. "Well, I've been really stressed over this whole job thing."

Kingsley shook his head. "I don't think that's it."

"Why not?"

"What was the most stressful period of your life – up until now?"

She looked thoughtful. "Auror exams," she said at last. "You know how it is. They're 'do or die' tests. If you can't pass them, you can't work as an Auror."

Kingsley nodded. "And did you have problems then?"

She shook her head. "That's what got me through some of that stuff."

He nodded again. "Tonks, I think this goes beyond job-related stress."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "When was the last time you saw Remus?"

She frowned. "Last night. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Work with me. Did you two discuss your relationship?"

"No. He helped me with some Hogwarts stuff."

"Did you try to morph while he was there?"

"No …" she said slowly. "But, my eyes finally changed color while he was there. They had been blue all day and I had been trying to change them. When he was there, they finally turned brown."

Kingsley took her hand in his. "Tonks, do you love him?"

"Do I … King! What kind of a question is that?"

He smiled. "Tonks, do you know what can drain a wizard's powers quicker than anything else?"

"No."

"Unrequited love."

"What does that have to do with me?" As soon as the question had left her lips, the significance struck her. "Oh."

"Yeah. 'Oh.'"

She bit her lip. "God, King. What am I going to do?"

He shrugged. "I don't know that I'm the one to answer that, love."

She thought in silence for a moment, then sat straight up. "I know what to do."

"What?"

"I'm just going to have to talk to him again. I'm going to have to convince him to give us a chance."

"I don't know, Tonks …"

"I do," she said stubbornly. "Don't give me that look, King. This is going to work. I'm sure of it."

* * *

"How long do we have to stay here?" Laura asked, looking around the small room she and her mother shared.

"Until we can find a house," Dana replied.

Laura crossed her arms. "I don't understand why we're here at all. We could have stayed in our house in France until we found a house here."

"It's a bit difficult to look for a house when you're in a different country," Dana replied, dropping a stack of robes on Laura's bed. "Put those away, darling."

Laura turned angrily, and yanked the closet door open.

"Laura, stop acting like a child," Dana said sharply. "If you break that, you'll be the one paying the Leaky Cauldron for it."

A light knock sounded on the door.

"Come in," Dana said wearily.

"Hi, ladies," Olivia said as she entered the room. "Are you ready for a break? Remus suggested that we all go for dinner together."

"That sounds great," Dana said enthusiastically. _Anything for some adult conversation!_ She desperately needed a break from her moody daughter.

"Remus is in the lobby," Olivia said. "He said to come down when we're ready. He thought we could go to that Muggle restaurant we all loved back when we used to live around here."

"Tony's?" Dana said, her eyes lighting up.

"Right," Olivia smiled. "Are you ready to go?"

"I am," Dana said. She picked up her purse, and turned to Laura. "Are you ready, darling?"

"Yes," Laura said. She brushed past Dana to join Olivia at the door.

Dana reached out to brush at Laura's hair, trying to straighten it.

"Stop it, Mum," Laura said, swatting her hands away. "I don't have anyone to impress here."

Olivia looked at Dana in surprise. Dana shook her head.

"Let's go meet Remus."

When they arrived in the lobby, they saw Remus talking to a young witch who had magenta hair and was wearing a Weird Sisters t-shirt and flared jeans. Olivia and Dana looked at one another with raised eyebrows.

"Oo, Mum, who's that?" Laura asked, her own hands flying up to fix her hair.

"I don't know," Dana replied. She looked at Olivia, and knew in a heartbeat that she, too, had noticed how closely this unknown woman and Remus were standing to one another.

They crossed to join Remus and the mystery woman. Remus's eyes lit up when he saw them.

"These are the girls I was telling you about," he informed his companion. "This is Dana McKinley and her daughter, Laura, and this is Olivia Alexander. Ladies, this is Nymphadora Tonks."

"Just Tonks, please," she said, reaching out to shake their hands. "It's great to finally meet all of you. Remus talks about you all the time." She grinned as she shook Olivia's hand. "And, I have to tell you that Mad-Eye talks about _you_ all the time."

Olivia's eyes lit up. "You're Sirius's cousin, right? The Auror?"

"Oh!" Dana exclaimed. "Andromeda's daughter?"

"That's me," Tonks said cheerily.

"Well, then, I'm thrilled to meet _you_," Olivia said, shaking her hand again. "John was just telling me what a great job you've been doing."

Tonks flushed slightly. "I just do my best."

Olivia beamed. "I'm so excited that we'll be able to work together, now that I'm back in the UK."

Tonks's eyebrows shot up. "Are you being assigned to Hogwarts?"

"I don't know yet," Olivia confessed. "Is that where you are, then?"

Tonks nodded.

"I'll see if I can talk John into it," Olivia smiled.

"That would be great. I need as many competent people as I can get." She paused. "Right, so I'm sure I know who you are, but let me see about you two." She turned to Dana and Laura, her eyes resting on the younger girl. "You must be Remus's goddaughter."

"Right," Laura grinned. "I love your shirt."

"Thanks," Tonks smiled. "I got it at the last concert."

"No way! You went to the _concert_?" Laura squealed.

"Of course," Tonks grinned. "I haven't missed a show in the UK yet."

"Oh, that is so, so unbelievably cool!"

Tonks smiled. "You're a fan?"

"You have no idea!" She frowned. "I wanted to go to Paris for their concert last summer, but _someone_ wouldn't let me." She shot a glare in her mother's direction.

Tonks grinned at Dana. "Sounds like you have a very good mother, Laura. Those concerts can be crazy. I wouldn't want to go alone, and I'm an Auror."

"I wouldn't have gone alone. My friends were going."

"Your friends aren't Aurors," Dana said, shaking her head.

"Well," Remus said, attempting to end the conversation before things got ugly, "we were just off to dinner. Would you like to join us, Tonks?"

"I'd love to, but I can't," she said regretfully. "I'm meeting John to go over some Hogwarts details in about five minutes."

"He's meeting you here?" Olivia asked.

"No, in Diagon Alley," Tonks said. "I was just on my way through to the other side."

"Right. Well, tell him hello for me."

"Of course. It was really nice to meet all of you. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."

"I'm sure," Dana smiled.

"Hopefully, I'll see you at work," Olivia said.

"And what about you, Laura?" Tonks asked, grinning at her. "We'll have to get together to talk music."

"Yeah, definitely," Laura grinned.

"Excellent." She looked up at Remus. "So, your offer to help me move still stands?"

"Absolutely," he smiled. "You said Tuesday?"

"Is that all right? That's my day off this week."

"That's perfect." He glanced at the others. "Maybe I'll even be able to convince these ladies to help us, too."

"The more the merrier," Tonks said with a smile. "Or, in this case, the more the quicker."

"You're moving?" Dana asked.

"To Hogsmeade," Tonks affirmed. "I'm trying to be closer to the assignment."

"Makes sense," Olivia said. "You're there for the year, then?"

"Right." She smiled at them again. "Well, I'd better run. I don't want to keep the new boss waiting."

"Just tell him you were with me," Olivia grinned. "That should get you out of trouble."

"Thanks," Tonks laughed. "There's no shame in name dropping, right?"

They all laughed and parted ways, Tonks going into Diagon Alley, and Remus and the others heading into Muggle London.

"She's sweet, Remus," Dana said as they walked down the street.

"Sweet?" Laura repeated. "She's awesome! I can't believe how dedicated she is to the Weird Sisters!"

"I had rather pictured her to look more like Sirius," Olivia said quietly.

"She changes her appearance every day," Remus said. "She actually looks like Andromeda when she lets her real face show through."

Olivia smiled. "She does look a bit like him, then."

"Hey," Remus said, taking her hand. "Will you be okay working with her?"

She looked at him with a bittersweet smile. "Remus, this is quite possibly the most wonderful thing that could have happened. It's going to be like having a little piece of him working with me every day."

They reached the restaurant, and Remus and Laura immediately launched into a lengthy discussion about the differences between French and British food. Taking advantage of the fact that they were both occupied, Dana turned to Olivia.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" Olivia asked.

"Remus and Tonks?" Dana hissed.

Olivia smiled slowly. "Are they together?"

Dana shrugged. "I was hoping you'd know something."

"He hasn't said anything to me."

"Well, they _should_ be together. Did you see the way they were looking at one another?"

Olivia bit her lip. "I don't know, Dana. Sirius always told me that they were perfect for each other, that they had crushes on one another … but, to my knowledge, nothing ever came of it."

Dana raised her eyebrows. "Shall we give them a little nudge?"

"What exactly are you proposing?"

"Nothing major," Dana assured her. "But, I'll tell you right now that all three of us are busy on Tuesday."

"What are we doing?"

"I don't know yet – but it's going to keep us away from their moving party."

Olivia grinned. "Sounds like a perfect private party to me."


	31. Adjustments

A/N: I'm not sure where this chapter came from. It definitely wasn't what I had planned to write – at least not for an entire chapter -, but once I started writing, this is what happened. I hope you like it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Potter universe.

Adjustments

_I can't believe I'm here again_.

Olivia looked at the broken Fountain of Magical Brethren and took a deep breath. She was walking back into a world she thought she had left behind forever when she moved to France: the British Ministry of Magic Auror Division.

"I can do this, I can do this, I can do this," she whispered to herself. Taking a second deep breath, she stepped onto the lift that would take her to her once and future office.

When she stepped off the lift, it was like stepping back in time. The department was just as she remembered. The decorations placed on the various desks and pictures of wanted criminals splashed across the walls had changed, and some of the faces that walked past her were different, but, for the most part, the offices had not changed in the nearly fifteen years she had been gone.

"Olivia!"

Olivia looked around, taking care not to jump at the sound of her name. She doubted that the rather feminine voice she heard belonged to Moody, but she had learned enough during her training not to show surprise. She looked at the woman walking toward her with a beaming smile, and felt a grin spread across her own face.

"Stephanie!" she exclaimed. Stephanie Webster had been inducted as an Auror with Olivia; they had shared an office when they first began working.

"I can't believe you're back!" Stephanie exclaimed, hugging Olivia close. "I had heard you were coming back from France, but I almost didn't want to believe it. I was afraid that it was just a rumor, and I would have gotten all excited over nothing."

"Nope," Olivia grinned. "I'm really back. I'm so excited to see you, Steph! We're going to have to go out for lunch every day for a week to catch up on everything."

"Definitely," Stephanie beamed. "It's going to be so good to have you back, Liv. I've missed working with you." Her smile faded. "And we're certainly going to need someone who works at your level now."

Olivia nodded grimly. "That's why I came back." She sighed. "After all I did to fight him before, I couldn't stay in France. Not now."

"Well, I'm glad," Stephanie replied. She grinned. "Maybe John will even let us share an office again."

"You don't have a partner?" Olivia frowned. Aurors always shared their offices with their partners.

"John's splitting everyone up," Stephanie said. "Dawlish and I never see one another anymore."

"Wow," Olivia said. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Stephanie nodded. "It's sort of interesting … stressful, but interesting."

"So, what are you doing now?"

"Hunting down the escaped Death Eaters."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "That's a tall order."

"It's rather tedious, to be honest," Stephanie replied. "We get a lead, follow it, and find another dead end. It can be a bit disheartening."

"How long have you been searching for them?"

"Since John took over. He took me off my previous assignment for this."

"What was your previous assignment?"

"Prisoner interrogation," Stephanie said with a smile. "I was good at it, too. I could always tell when they were lying."

"Webster! We need you over here!"

Stephanie looked down the hall, where another Auror was waiting for her. "Coming!" She turned back to Olivia with a smile. "Sorry. Duty calls."

"No, don't worry about it," Olivia said. "I need to find John, anyway."

"We'll get together to catch up soon," Stephanie promised. "I'll see you, Olivia!"

After bidding Stephanie farewell, Olivia made her way down the hall toward her brother's new office. She had to admit that it felt strange to go the Head's office to look for John. She reached the room, and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Olivia pushed the door open, and saw her brother seated at his desk, his eyes locked on the parchment in front of him. Papers were piled up all over the top of his desk and several memos zoomed around his head.

"Bad time?" she asked.

John looked up, his eyes widening. "Livie!" he exclaimed. "Welcome back!"

She grinned. "Thanks for giving me my job back."

"As if you were ever afraid I wouldn't," he grinned. "It's great to have you back. We need more Aurors like you."

She smiled, and sat down across from him. "What are you working on?"

"Trying to get through my memos," he replied. He waved his hand to indicate the ones that were still flying around the room. "As you can see, there are quite a few."

"I see," she nodded. "Should I come in to talk to you later?"

"Of course not," he said, pushing his parchment aside. He plucked the flying memos from the air, and put them down on his desk. "So, tell me what you want to do. Where do you want to be assigned?"

She raised her eyebrows. "From what I've heard, you're not giving anyone much of an option on that."

"The Head of Department always assigns missions as he or she sees fit," he said dismissively. "Of course people are going to be upset if they aren't given the mission they want. They'll just have to deal with it."

"I'm more surprised that you're splitting up the teams," Olivia said.

"It had to be done," he said a bit defensively. "Look, Liv, I know that it's weird to work with new management. I know that people hate change. But, the fact remains that You-Know-Who came back while we were doing things as they had always been done. Something obviously had to change. We had to make big adjustments to fight this. It took us eleven years to get rid of him the first time. I do not intend to have that happen again."

Olivia shook her head. "But isn't there some good in working with a partner? Particularly one you've worked with for years? You get to know your partner. You get to the point where you can tell what's happening just by hearing the tone of his or her voice. And, honestly, John, I think that's a good thing."

"Liv, I don't need you to tell me how to run my department."

Her eyes widened at the harshness of his voice. "That's not what I meant by what I said."

He shook his head. "Where do you want to be assigned?" he asked again.

"Hogwarts," she said without a moment's further hesitation.

"Done," he replied. "Report to the school on 26 August. Tonks is the lead Auror. You'll take your orders from her once you get there."

"And until then?" she asked.

"Day to day surveillance," John said. "I have a schedule posted in the lounge; I'll add you to it."

"Thanks," she said, getting up from her chair.

"Livie," John said, stopping her before she could walk out the door.

"Yes?"

He smiled, his features softening as he once again became "brother" rather than "Auror." "It's good to have you back."

"I'm glad to be able to help."

"No, not that. I mean, I am glad to have you back as an Auror, but I'm also glad to have my sister home again."

She smiled. "I'm glad to be back, too."

* * *

"Uncle Remus?"

Remus looked up from the maps of the werewolf colony he had been poring over as Laura peeked around the corner of his door. He gave her a smile.

"Hi, Laura."

She took this as an invitation to enter, and stepped fully into the room. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing more important than you," he said, putting the maps away. "What can I do for you?"

She sighed and sat down on his bed. "I'm bored."

"You're bored?" Remus repeated. "How can you be bored? You just spent the entire morning looking at houses with your mother!"

"I know. It was exhausting."

Remus smiled. "No luck?"

"No."

"Well, finding a house takes time," he said easily. "Just be patient."

"I really just don't want to live in this hotel anymore."

"Understandable." Remus stood up, and reached out to pull her to her feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" she asked, already smiling.

"You said you were bored. We're going to change that. We're going out for a bit."

She grinned. "Where are we going?" she asked again.

"On a tour of Diagon Alley. Go tell your mother that I'm kidnapping you for a couple of hours."

"Oh, thank you!" Laura exclaimed. She ran off to find her mother.

Remus smiled to himself. After spending the entire morning studying his werewolf notes, he was more than ready for this break.

Laura was back in a matter of minutes with Dana's permission to spend the afternoon with Remus. They set off together, Laura already talking excitedly about all that she wanted to see and do. Remus laughed at her.

"I think you've planned enough to keep us busy for the next week!" he said. "Slow down, little girl. Diagon Alley isn't going anywhere, and neither are you."

Her face clouded momentarily, but she brightened up again as she watched Remus tap the bricks to make the gateway to Diagon Alley appear.

"That is so cool," she said.

Remus grinned as they walked through to Diagon Alley. "So, where are we off to first?"

"I need some parchment," Laura said.

Remus smiled. "I thought you had something more exciting in mind."

"We have to get the things I _need_ before we can play," she stated.

Remus shook his head, surprised by how responsible she was being. "All right, let's get you some parchment."

After spending what felt like hours poring over the selection, Laura chose some lilac colored parchment with a border of daisies. They were about to pay and leave the store when she spotted a huge display of ink in various colors.

"Oh, I need ink to match my parchment!" she exclaimed.

After deliberating for quite some time, she selected two bottles of ink. Because making a final decision was nearly impossible, she chose one bottle of green ink and one bottle of yellow.

"Okay, I think I'm ready now," she said at last.

Remus eyed the stack of parchment and two bottles of ink that she carried. "Are you planning to write a novel?"

"No," she replied. "I need it to write to Pierre."

"Ah, yes. Of course."

"Mum said that I can invite him to visit when we have a house."

"Really? That's great."

"Yeah. I can't wait for you to meet him."

"Is your mum excited to meet him?"

She rolled her eyes. "No."

They reached the cash register, and she stopped talking so she could pay for her purchases. Remus decided to shelve his curiosity and not probe for more information about Dana's reaction to Pierre. He knew that Laura would tell him when she was ready. And if she chose not to talk about it, he could always ask Dana.

They wandered around Diagon Alley for over an hour, window-shopping and chatting about mindless topics. Laura didn't go back to her mother's reluctance to meet Pierre, and Remus did not try to steer her in that direction. Rather, he allowed her to direct the conversation, listening patiently to her concerns about living in a new country.

"How about some ice cream?" he asked as they approached Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlor.

"Oh, yes!" she said, changing in an instant from mature young lady to excited little girl.

Remus smiled at her, and led her to the ice cream shop. Laura chose a table outside in the bright sunshine while Remus bought them each a sundae.

"Thank you," she said as he sat down with their treats.

"You're welcome," he replied. "You'll have to tell me what you think of it. I know you haven't had one of Florean's sundaes before."

"I mean, thank you for all of this," she clarified. "Thank you for taking me out when I was bored. This was just what I needed."

He smiled. "You know, what, Laura? It was just what I needed, too."

"And Diagon Alley is really nice."

"You didn't think it would be?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I didn't know," she shrugged. "Everything here is so different from France. I wasn't sure if the shopping areas would be different, too."

"Worse, you mean," Remus teased.

She smiled. "Well, I like it here. Isn't that enough?"

"It's perfect," Remus grinned.

"Hi, Remus!"

They both looked up to see Tonks coming toward them. She was wearing her Auror robes, and looked, in Laura's opinion, completely different than she had the last time they had met.

"Hello, Tonks," Remus smiled. "You remember Laura, right?"

"Of course," she grinned. "She's my new favorite fellow Weird Sisters fan."

Laura smiled. "Hi, Tonks. Can you stay to have some ice cream with us?"

Tonks gave Remus a wink. "I'd love to, but, unfortunately, I can't."

"Are you here on official business?" Remus asked. "Or are you just afraid that we'll eat you under the table?"

"You'll never defeat me!" Tonks laughed. "No, I'm here for work. The students haven't gotten to Hogwarts yet, so John decided that he can put me where he needs me until the week before school starts." She made a face. "It's irritating, to tell the truth. I was supposed to use this time to get to know the school and grounds, and to figure out my game plan. But, I suppose patrolling Diagon Alley is important, too."

Remus smiled and winked at her. "Well, I think that we all feel safer knowing that you're here."

"Yeah, I just wish he would stop messing with my schedule." Her eyes widened. "Oh, Remus, I forgot! I'm so glad I ran into you."

"Forgot what?"

"My entire week has been rearranged. I can't move on Tuesday anymore. How does Thursday work for you?"

"Thursday is fine," he replied.

"You're sure? If it's a problem, I understand. I can do it without you if I need to."

"No, Tonks, really, it's fine," he assured her. "I really don't have any plans for Thursday."

She smiled. "Excellent. Can you come over at noon, then?"

"Such an early start?" he teased.

"Well, we do have a lot of work to do," she grinned. "That'll work for you?"

"That's fine. I'll be there at the crack of noon."

"Thanks," she smiled. She glanced around. "Well, I'd best be off before someone reports the Auror who's standing around instead of working. You two take care, all right? Make sure you report any suspicious activity."

"We will," Remus smiled. "You be careful, too."

"I always am." She gave them both a grin. "I'll see you Thursday, Remus. Laura, I'm sure I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Tonks," Laura smiled.

"Good bye," Remus said.

She walked away, and Laura looked at Remus.

"How long have you known her?"

"About a year, I suppose. Why?"

"I don't know," Laura said. "When you guys talk, it's like you've known each other forever. At first I thought she was a friend from school or something, but Mum and Aunt Olivia didn't know her …" She trailed off, and her eyes grew round. "Oh! Is she your girlfriend?"

Remus choked on his sundae. "No, Laura, she is not my girlfriend."

"Are you sure?"

He laughed. "How could I be wrong about something like that?"

"I don't know," she said slowly. "There's just something about the way you talk to one another and look at one another…"

Remus smiled. "That's very sweet, love, but I promise you, we're not dating. I'm far too old for her, don't you think?"

She cocked her head to the side to look at him. "I don't know," she said honestly. "Age is just a number, right?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Exactly how old is Pierre, again?"

She laughed. "That's not what I meant. He's the same age as me. I was talking about you and Tonks, not Pierre and me."

"Well, good. You're not allowed to date an older man."

She giggled. "I'll try to avoid it."

"I'd appreciate it."

"But Tonks is allowed to date you," she said.

"Laura, we're _not_ dating. We're not _going to_ date. End of subject."

"You can say that all you want, but I know that something's going on."

He rolled his eyes. "Come on. Let's get you home before Dana starts to worry."

* * *

Dana had not yet begun to worry when Remus returned Laura to her room. After greeting her mother, Laura immediately sat down to write a long letter to Pierre. Dana watched her for a moment, then followed Remus back to his room.

"How did everything go?" she asked, entering the room.

"Fine," Remus replied. "Laura seemed to have a really nice time. She even told me that she likes Diagon Alley."

Dana raised her eyebrows. "Well, that's some serious progress. What did you do to make her say that?"

Remus shrugged. "I took her shopping and bought her ice cream."

"Ah, the way to every girl's heart."

"Shopping or ice cream?"

"Both."

Remus grinned. "Well, feel free to thank me whenever you're ready, then."

"I am grateful," Dana replied. "I'm glad she's finally starting to see that this is a nice place to live."

"Don't go too far too fast," Remus said. "She might just think it's a nice place to shop." He paused. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course. You know I always have time to talk to you."

Remus decided to get straight to the point. "Laura said that you're not excited to meet Pierre."

Dana sighed. "She said that?"

"She told me that you had said that she could invite him to visit, and that she can't wait for me to meet him. I asked if you were excited to meet him, and she said no."

"What else did she say?"

"Nothing. She dropped the subject, and I didn't want to bring it up again."

"I never said that I wasn't looking forward to meeting him."

Remus looked at her evenly, but remained quiet.

"But I never said I _was_ looking forward to meeting him, either," Dana admitted.

"You're still not okay with her dating him, are you?"

"No," she sighed, sitting down on the bed. "It's not that it's _him_, either. I don't know Pierre, so I can't sit here and tell you that she's gotten mixed up with some horrible boy. For all I know, he's exactly what she needs. It's the idea of her dating at all that bothers me."

Remus smiled. "She's old enough, you know. I was her age when I started dating Laura."

"I know, I know," Dana said. "I was dating when I was her age, too. It's just … fifteen seems much younger now that it did then."

"That's true."

She looked down at the bed, watching her finger trace senseless patterns. "It's just really hard to do this without Aidan," she said quietly. "I mean, I've been doing this without him for her whole life. And I'm not saying that it's been easy, or that I haven't missed him before, but … I just wish that Laura had a father right now. I wish she had someone to interrogate Pierre when he walks into our house. Someone to threaten her with a horrible punishment if she comes home after curfew. Someone to show her how a man should treat her." She looked up again, her eyes bright. "I just really wish that she had him right now."

Remus sat down next to her and put his hand over hers, stilling it. "Dana, you know that I have always been extremely honored to be Laura's godfather. It has always meant the world to me to have such a place in her life. And you know that I have never, never tried to take Aidan's place, or to be her father. But, darling, if you need me to do anything more than I have, please know that I'm here for you and for Laura. I'll – I'll be whatever you want me to be for her."

Dana looked at him for a moment, then threw her arms around him, hugging him close. "You are too wonderful, Remus. You know that, don't you?"

He smiled, hugging her back. "You're a wonderful mum, Dana."

She pulled back and smiled ruefully. "I hope she agrees with that after I've met Pierre."

"Everything will be fine," Remus said.

"You'll be there with me, won't you? You'll be there when she brings him to the house?"

"If that's what you want."

"It is," Dana said firmly. "She needs a father figure, Remus, and I need someone to go through this with me. I can't do this alone."

"Then I'll be there for you," he said simply.

Dana hugged him again. "You are the best friend I could ask for."

* * *

Late that night, Olivia knocked on Remus's door. He put his maps aside once again, and called permission for her to come in.

"Hi," she said, sitting down on the bed.

"Hi," he replied. He looked at her closely. "Are you all right?"

"Frustrated," she admitted.

"Why?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid my brother is destroying the Auror department," she said in a rush.

Remus looked at her in shock. "Why would you think that?"

"He's splitting up the teams!" she exclaimed. "I understand wanting to reassign everyone. That's the Head's job. But to break up the teams? That just seems ridiculous."

"Sometimes it's good to work with new people," Remus said slowly, feeling somewhat compelled to defend John.

She shook her head. "I can't see any good in what he's doing."

"Olivia," Remus said leaning toward her, "there's nothing you can do about it. You can't stop him. Even if you tell him that it's a bad idea, he's not going to listen to you. You're just going to drive yourself insane worrying about it."

"I know," she sighed. "I just wish there was something I could do to stop him before he drives the department into the ground."

"Maybe it'll be fine," Remus said encouragingly.

She smiled at him. "Stop being so optimistic."

"One of us has to be."

She looked at him for a moment, then fell silent. Remus watched her for a moment as she looked down at her hands.

"What?" he asked.

"I didn't say anything," she said, her head bobbing up to look at him.

"I know," he said. "That's the problem. What don't you want to say to me?"

She smiled nervously. "It's more something I want to ask you."

"You know you can ask me anything."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just worried about the answer you're going to give me."

"Well, neither of us will know until you ask."

She nodded, and took a deep breath. "John assigned me to Hogwarts, like I asked."

"Good," Remus said, wondering what this had to do with him.

"So, I'm thinking of looking for a flat in Hogsmeade."

"That makes sense."

"Yeah." She paused, and took another breath. "Remus, will you live with me?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "Live with you?" he repeated.

"I mean this in a completely platonic, nonsexual way," she said quickly. "I just – I don't want to live alone. Not that close to Hogwarts. Not in that village where Sirius and I spent so much time. And Dana … she's done so much for me already. I know that she wants a house she can share with her daughter, not a flat she can share with her friend. I don't want to make either of us go back in time. We don't need to relive our past."

"You want me to live with you in Hogsmeade?" Remus asked, still trying to process all that he had heard.

"It's a terrible idea, isn't it?" she asked, her face flushing. She looked back down at her hands. "I should never have said anything. Forget that I said it. Never mind. It's not –"

"Olivia," Remus said, cutting her off, "look at me."

She reluctantly brought her eyes up to his face.

"I think it's a brilliant idea," Remus smiled.

"You do?" she asked, a smile breaking out across her face.

"I do," he affirmed. "Only …"

"Only what?"

Now it was his turn to blush. "I don't have much money …"

"Don't worry about it," Olivia said firmly. "Being an Auror pays quite well, especially when you're chasing Voldemort. I think we all got a pay raise when he came back into the open. I'll have to remember to thank him, if I ever get the chance."

"Liv, I don't want you supporting me."

"I won't," she said. "You'll pay as much of the rent as you can, and deal with your share of the food and other bills. We'll work it out, Remus. I promise."

He smiled at her. "When do you want to start flat hunting?"

* * *

Two days later, Remus sat in his room reading when Laura burst through the door. He looked up in surprise as the door banged against the wall.

"Guess what?" she cried.

"What?" he asked, completely bewildered.

"We found a house!"

"Did you really?" he exclaimed, putting his book down. "That's wonderful news!"

"Yes, it is," Dana said, coming in behind her daughter.

"Where is it?" Remus asked.

"Here in Diagon Alley," she replied.

Remus nodded. "Two bedrooms?"

"Three, actually," Dana said. "We wanted to have a guest room."

"For when you come to stay with us," Laura said, sitting down on his bed with him and hugging him. "You will come and stay with us, won't you?"

"Why will I need to?" Remus laughed. "We're all here together now."

Laura looked around. "You're not going to live in this hotel forever, are you?"

"I hadn't planned on it."

"Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia are looking for a place in Hogsmeade, darling," Dana said. "They'll probably be out of here before we are."

"I don't know about that," Remus grinned. "We haven't had much luck so far."

Dana shook her head. "That's because you're both so picky."

"We have to be happy with it," Remus said defensively.

"You'll still come to visit us, won't you?" Laura asked.

"Of course," Remus smiled. "I can't wait to see your new room."

Laura's eyes lit up. "I can't wait to start decorating! I think I want to have a lavender and yellow theme. Wouldn't that look nice?"

"It will be lovely, I'm sure," Dana said. "Now, let's go to bed, darling, and leave Uncle Remus alone."

"All right," Laura agreed. "Good night, Uncle Remus."

"Good night, little girl," he said, giving her a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Dana smiled at him, and ushered her daughter out of the room ahead of her. "Good night," she said.

"Good night," he replied with a smile.

As the door closed behind them, Remus realized that the purchase of their house meant that Pierre's promised visit could not be far off. He hoped that the fragile peace between Dana and Laura could stand the strain.


	32. His Final Word

A/N: To date, this is one of my favorite chapters in this story. I hope you guys like it as much as I do. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Potter universe.

His Final Word

"So, you're moving on Thursday?"

Tonks nodded with a smile. "Yup, that's the day."

Olivia returned the smile. They were doing patrol duty of Diagon Alley together; it was the first time they had been assigned to work together. Olivia was pleased to find that Tonks was a great coworker. They shared the same work ethic, and, having both been Moody's students, tended to react the same way in each situation they encountered. As their shift drew closer to ending, Olivia became even happier that she had chosen to work with Tonks at Hogwarts. She was sure they would develop a strong working relationship.

"I'm excited to move, but I'm a bit sad," Tonks confided as they turned a corner. "I'm going to miss my old flat."

"Yeah, it's always tough to move," Olivia said. She smiled. "At least you'll still be able to speak the language."

Tonks laughed. "I hadn't thought of that. You were very brave to move to France when you did."

Olivia shook her head. "I wasn't brave. I was distraught. I didn't know what to do, or how to go on living here. James and Lily had just died, we believed that Peter had died, and we believed that Sirius was responsible for all of it. It was as though my entire world had been ripped apart and thrown on the ground. I couldn't deal with it – so I left."

"I can't even imagine going through something like that," Tonks said softly. "I don't know if I could do it."

"Of course you could," Olivia replied. "It's amazing what you can overcome. I just hope you never have to test your limits."

Tonks nodded, searching for a new, happier subject. "Have you found a house here?"

Olivia shook her head. "Dana just found hers, so everything's been focused on helping her get settled."

"How does Laura like the new house?" Tonks grinned.

"She actually really likes it," Olivia smiled. "She has a great room, though. I can't see why she _wouldn't_ like it. It has this huge closet and a big bay window with a window seat. It's the kind of room I wished for when I was her age."

Tonks grinned. "I'm glad they're happy with it."

"Oh, they are," Olivia said. "They expect to be completely moved in by Thursday, so Remus can go help you with a clear conscience."

"He doesn't need to help me if he's busy," Tonks said quickly. "I can always have my dad come and help."

Olivia shook her head. "Don't you even suggest it to him," she said. "He promised you first, and he never breaks promises. He'd feel awful if he went back on his word to you. The fact that he had your permission wouldn't matter. He'd still beat himself up over it for weeks – months, even."

"Noted," Tonks said.

Olivia smiled. "He's a good guy. He just tends to be a bit _too_ honorable about some things."

"Yeah, I can see that," Tonks said quietly.

They turned down another, quieter street. Olivia looked around apprehensively.

"Something's wrong here," she said softly.

Tonks held her wand up as she turned on the spot, searching for anyone who could be hidden in the area. "It's too quiet," she whispered.

Olivia raised her wand as well. "Come out with your hands where we can see them!" she yelled. "Show yourself!"

No one appeared, but there was a rustling behind a group of boxes that were stacked next to a business's back door. Tonks looked at Olivia. Together, they moved toward them.

"I said to show yourself!" Olivia said as they approached the boxes.

Still, no one appeared. Tonks looked at Olivia again, then kicked the closest boxes, knocking them all to the ground. They fell, revealing –

"Mundungus!" Tonks exclaimed. "What are you doing, hiding like that? We were ready to take you in for questioning!"

"Ah, Tonks, you wouldn't do that to me," he said with a sheepish smile. He quickly stowed a few articles in the bag he carried.

"You didn't answer her question," Olivia said pointedly. "Why were you hiding? Why didn't you come out when I asked you to?"

"Well, I was meeting one of my contacts," Mundungus said slowly. "He's not exactly the best sort, so we tend to meet in back alleys …"

"Right," Tonks said, rolling her eyes. "And why didn't you show yourself when asked?"

"I didn't know it was the two of you," Mundungus said, giving them a smile. "I had no idea you had come back, Olivia. I heard your voice, but I didn't realize it was really you."

"Well, now you know," she said. "And, really, Dung, you should probably avoid meeting your contacts in Diagon Alley. It's under some serious Auror surveillance right now."

"Right. Thanks for the tip," he said with a nod. "Well, ladies, it's been a pleasure, but I know you're busy, and so am I …"

He Disapparated, leaving Olivia and Tonks alone in the street. Olivia looked at Tonks with raised eyebrows.

"He's stealing something from somewhere," she said. "I just wish I knew where."

"We're probably better off not knowing," Olivia said. She glanced at her watch. "Well, our shift is up. Shall we go back to the department to write our report?"

"Sounds like fun," Tonks said sarcastically. "Can we include running into Dung?"

Olivia laughed. "I'd say yes, but, given the way things are running now, I'm afraid that would make him a wanted Death Eater."

* * *

Remus was up early on Thursday morning. He generally rose early, but rarely with the same feeling of nervousness and excitement. He shook his head as he turned on the water in the shower.

"You are just helping her move," he muttered to himself. "You're doing what Sirius would have done for her if he were here."

Having settled that with himself, he turned his face into the steady stream of water.

By the time he made his way down to the Leaky Cauldron's dining room for breakfast, Olivia was already there. She was seated at a table by herself, sipping coffee and reading the _Daily Prophet_. Remus crossed the room and sat down with her.

"Good morning," he said.

"Good morning," she smiled. "Are you ready for Tonks's big move?"

"I guess," Remus smiled. "I still have quite a bit of time to get ready, though – she doesn't want to start until noon."

Olivia glanced at her watch. "Well, we can have a leisurely breakfast, then."

"Sounds great," Remus said.

"We need to talk, too."

"Now, _that_ sounds a bit ominous."

She smiled. "It shouldn't. I just wanted to talk about looking for a flat."

"Oh! Yes, I suppose we do need to talk about that."

"Right," she smiled. "Now that Dana and Laura are settled, we can focus on ourselves for awhile. I've found a few places in today's paper that look promising. They're all in Hogsmeade, like we talked about. I thought maybe we could go see them Saturday."

"Why not tomorrow?"

"I have to work."

"Ah, the plight of the employed," Remus said.

Olivia smiled and shook her head. "Saturday will be fine, I'm sure."

"Yes, Saturday is fine," Remus smiled. "Tell me about these places we're going to see."

Olivia launched into detailed descriptions. They discussed the pros and cons of each flat, then agreed that they couldn't make any real decisions until they had seen them all.

"I'll make the arrangements today while you're with Tonks," Olivia said.

"I thought you were working today?"

"In the evening," she replied. "I have the afternoon to take care of everything."

Remus nodded. "Thanks for doing that."

"Don't mention it."

Remus glanced at his watch, noting that it was nearly noon. "Wow, the morning is already gone! How did that happen?"

Olivia grinned. "What can I say? We talk a lot."

"Obviously," Remus said. "Well, love, I need to be off, or I'll be late for Tonks." He leaned down to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you tonight."

"Probably not," she said. "I'm sure you'll be sound asleep by the time I get back. I work until midnight. We can do an early breakfast tomorrow, though."

"Great. I'll see you then."

"Bye," Olivia said, watching as he Disapparated. She smiled to herself. She rather hoped that Remus and Tonks would indeed have the "private party" that she and Dana had anticipated for them.

* * *

Remus Apparated just outside Tonks's building. He rang her flat, and she admitted him to the building. He made his way up the stairs to her flat; her door was open and waiting for him to enter.

"You know, it's not a good idea to leave your door open like that," he said as he walked into her flat, closing the door behind him.

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks for the advice, Dad."

He smiled. "We live in dangerous times."

"Don't I know it," she smiled. "Hi, Remus. Thanks for coming to help me."

"I'm glad I could help," he said. He looked around the rather empty flat. "So, what do we need to do?"

"Well, I already have everything all packed," she said. "I was just starting to shrink down my boxes, if you'd like to help with that. That way we can take everything in one trip."

"Right," Remus agreed.

They shrunk all her boxes and furniture fairly quickly. When they were done, they loaded everything into their pockets.

"Let me make sure we have everything," Tonks said. She walked through the flat several times before she was satisfied that she had not forgotten anything.

"Are you ready?" Remus asked.

She looked around her living room, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. She tried furiously to blink them back, not wanting to cry in front of Remus, who was watching her battle for control.

"Tonks?" he asked gently.

"I'm fine," she said, swiping her hand across her eyes.

Remus smiled. "You're allowed to be sad to leave your house."

She shook her head. "No, it's stupid to cry over something like this. I have a perfectly good home to go to. So, let's get ourselves and my stuff there."

Without looking back again, she Disapparated. Remus followed a moment later. When he arrived in her new house, she was already pacing around the living room.

"I need to decide where I want everything," she said.

"Do you mind if I take a look around?" Remus asked.

"Oh!" Tonks exclaimed, her face lighting up. "I forgot that you've never been here before! Let me give you the grand tour!"

The new flat was similar to her old one. It had about the same amount of space in the living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. This one, unlike her former home, had a balcony.

"This is nice," Remus said, stepping out onto the balcony.

"Isn't it?" Tonks asked, following him outside. "It was what sold me on the place."

"We had a balcony – Sirius, James and I," Remus said. "I loved it. I would go out on clear nights and stare at the stars."

Tonks gave him a knowing smile. "Where you an Astronomy geek?"

Remus laughed. "No, actually, I was horrible at Astronomy. I never really wanted to study it. But I love to look at the stars. There's something magical about them, isn't there?"

"Yeah, there is," Tonks agreed quietly.

Remus looked up at the gray, chilly sky for a moment, then turned to Tonks with a smile. "Well, we'd better start unpacking you, or we'll be here all day."

* * *

As it happened, unpacking Tonks _did_ take all day. She was rather indecisive about where to put things; they rearranged the furniture in each room at least four times before she was happy. Remus was eternally grateful that she wanted to do everything using magic; he wasn't sure he would have had the strength to manually move her furniture as many times as she wanted.

When they finally collapsed on the couch, it was after ten. Tonks looked at her watch and groaned.

"We didn't even stop for dinner!" she exclaimed. "I'm starving. Are you hungry?"

"Yes," Remus admitted.

She nodded. "How do you feel about Chinese?"

"I love it," Remus said, thinking of the number of times he, James and Sirius had ordered Chinese to save themselves from cooking.

"Excellent," Tonks said. "I'll order us some. And this is my treat, so don't even think about paying."

"You want to buy me dinner?" Remus asked blankly.

"You just helped me move," she smiled. "I think I _owe_ you dinner."

"Well, we can't have you in my debt forever, can we?" Remus smiled.

Tonks grinned, and got up to order their food.

They lounged on the couch and chatted until it arrived. Remus was reminded anew exactly how easy it was to talk to Tonks, and how much fun it was to spend time with her. He was almost disappointed when the food arrived, fearing that it would break the spirit of camaraderie.

He could not have been more wrong. Tonks served the food on the newly placed kitchen table, and brought out a bottle of wine for them to drink. Remus looked at the bottle with a raised eyebrow.

"Imbibing for the first time in the new house?" he asked.

She grinned. "Aren't you glad that I wanted to do so with you?"

"I'm honored," Remus smiled.

"Good," Tonks grinned. "Then you won't mind uncorking the bottle for me."

Remus laughed, and took the bottle from her. "Haven't mastered that one yet?"

"Well, I always break the cork when I do it manually," she said, handing him a corkscrew. "I tried to do it with magic once, but I broke the entire bottle. I had wine everywhere! So, after that experience, I decided to always let someone else handle it."

"Wise decision," Remus said, pouring them each a glass of wine. "To your new house," he said, raising his glass.

Tonks touched her glass to his, and took a sip. "Oh, this is good! Kingsley gave it to me as a house-warming gift."

"Well, tell him that it was a good choice," Remus smiled.

"I will," Tonks said. "Here, let's eat before the food gets cold."

They continued talking and drinking as they ate. They were both surprised to find that as they finished their meal, they were also finishing the wine.

"Oh, look at that," Tonks giggled. "Well, if we've come this far, we might as well finish it. I don't want to keep such a small amount of wine."

"Let's just drink it," agreed Remus, who was feeling quite mellow.

"Yeah, why not?" Tonks grinned. She topped off each of their glasses. "I think we've earned a drink, don't you?"

"Definitely," Remus smiled. He waved his wand to send the dishes from the table to the sink.

"Impressive," Tonks said. "I couldn't do that even if I were stone-cold sober."

Remus grinned. "I'm glad you appreciate my housekeeping skills."

Tonks looked at him for a moment. "You know, there's a lot I don't know about you."

"And there's a lot I don't know about you," Remus countered.

"Can we play a game?"

Remus gave her a strange look. "That didn't really follow."

"Yes, it did," she said. She stood up, picking up her glass and the nearly empty bottle of wine. "Come on, let's be more comfortable for this."

Remus followed her to the living room, and sat down with her on the couch. He looked at her quizzically.

"We're going to play Truth or Dare," she declared.

"What?"

"You don't know it?"

"No. Sorry."

She grinned. "Well, here's how it works. I'll ask you if you want a 'truth' or a 'dare.' If you choose truth, I get to ask you a question and you have to give an honest answer. If you pick dare, you have to do whatever I tell you to do. Then we switch and you ask me."

"All right," Remus agreed.

"Excellent," Tonks said. "I'll start. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No. I'm the only child. I thought you knew that."

"No, I didn't. But, I'll admit that it was a dumb question. Your turn."

"Truth or dare?"

Tonks narrowed her eyes. "Truth."

Remus smiled. "How many O.W.L.s did you get?"

"What a stupid question."

"Just answer it."

She sighed. "Twelve."

Remus's eyes widened. "You got _twelve O.W.L.s_?"

"You don't have to act so surprised!" she laughed. "How many did you get?"

"Eight." He shook his head. "I can't believe you got twelve!"

"You're doing wonders for my self-esteem, you know."

"No, I don't mean that I'm surprised that _you_ did it personally – I'm amazed anyone can do it at all!"

"Well, I was a Ravenclaw," she laughed.

"I knew that, but I didn't pick you to be so studious."

She shrugged. "I knew I wanted to be an Auror, and I knew I needed top grades to do that. So, I worked really hard. My parents were so excited – you would have thought they had gotten the twelve O.W.L.s."

Remus laughed. "Well, well done."

"Thanks," she smiled. "Okay. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

She drew a deep breath. "How many girls have you kissed?"

Remus blushed. "Three."

Tonks's eyes widened slightly as she realized that she was one of those three. Somehow, the very idea made her feel rather tingly.

"Truth or dare?" Remus asked quickly.

"Dare," Tonks said playfully, trying to distance Remus from his embarrassment.

He appraised her for a moment, then grinned. "I dare you to completely un-morph."

"What?" she asked in surprise.

"Make yourself look exactly like _you_ – and stay that way until I leave tonight."

She sighed. "You are evil."

"And you are vain," he countered.

She laughed. "Oh, all right. But you're the one who has to look at me."

Remus watched as her features melted back to the way he had seen her the night she had arrived at Sirius's house for her first Order meeting – the mouse-brown hair, the light blue-gray eyes, the small nose, the wide smile, the various scars from falling one too many times. He smiled at her.

"You look fine the way you are. Why do you feel the need to always change your appearance?"

"I'm a girl," she shrugged. "We're never happy looking the way we do naturally. It's just cheaper for me than it is for most – I don't have to spend money on makeup and hair color." She paused. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

She sighed. "You need to liven this up with a dare."

"I'll take a dare next time."

"All right." She thought for a moment. "What is your favorite color?"

Remus looked surprised. Caught off-guard, he couldn't think of any particular color he had claimed as his favorite. He cast his mind around, but the only color that came to him was the blue-gray of her eyes. "Blue," he said at last.

She smiled. "That wasn't supposed to be a hard question."

"Ah, well, I always failed the easy tests in school," he said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," she said.

Remus wondered if he dared to ask it. "How many men have you dated?"

"Two," she said. "Charlie Weasley at Hogwarts and Chris Jones during Auror training."

"When did you break up with him?"

"Which one?"

"Either, I suppose."

"Charlie and I broke up right after graduation," she said. "He found out he was going to Romania, and we just didn't see a way to make it work." She sighed. "It broke my heart. He was my first love, you know."

Remus nodded sympathetically.

"And Chris and I broke up our first year as Aurors – so, nearly three years ago. We just couldn't handle the stress of the new job plus our relationship." She paused. "How many girls have you dated?"

"It was just Laura for me," he said. "Oh, wait. I dated Melanie Larson for a few weeks at Hogwarts when Laura and I broke up."

"You and Laura broke up?"

"Yes," he said. "It wasn't for long, but it was one of the hardest periods of my life … _the_ hardest until she died."

"And there's been no one since?" she asked, realizing for the first time why he was so hesitant to jump into a relationship.

He smiled sadly. "Not many women want to date a werewolf."

"Not everyone is afraid, you know," she said softly.

Remus looked at her for a long moment. She was the one to finally break the eye contact.

"Truth or dare?" she asked, clearing her throat.

"Dare, as promised," Remus smiled.

She looked up at him again, knowing there was only one thing she wanted to dare him to do. "Kiss me."

"What?" Remus asked.

She twirled a strand of mousy hair around her finger, fighting the urge to change its color. "Kiss me," she repeated.

Remus smiled, then leaned forward to capture her lips with his. It quickly became apparent that neither of them would be satisfied with a chaste peck. They kissed as though they would never have another chance; bodies falling back on the couch, Remus settling on top of Tonks, hands running over one another's bodies, tongues intertwining, lips pressing deeply together.

They laid together on her couch, snogging like two teenagers, for quite some time. It wasn't until things grew more intense and Tonks undid Remus's belt buckle that he realized how desperately they needed to stop – despite the fact that he desperately wanted to continue.

"Tonks," he said breathlessly.

"What?" she asked, kissing his neck.

"Tonks, we need to stop," he said.

"No, we don't," she said. She slid her hands down his chest, down his stomach, and showed no signs of stopping.

Remus pulled together all of his considerable will power and sat up. "Yes, we do."

"Why?" she asked, looking at him with hurt and confusion. "Remus – don't you want this as much as I do?"

"We can't, Tonks," he sighed, getting up off the couch. "We just – we can't. I need to go."

"Remus, please," she said, following him to the door, looking up at him with eyes that betrayed her soul. "Please, don't go."

He looked down at her, terrified by the love he read in her eyes. "You know how much I care about you, don't you?"

"Tell me," she whispered.

He leaned down to kiss her again, this time sweetly, gently. "That much," he whispered.

With that, he Disapparated.

* * *

Remus practically ran down the hall to Olivia's room, saying a prayer of gratitude when he saw light peeking out from under the door. He knocked on the door and only waited a moment before she answered it, looking completely shocked to see him.

"Remus?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

He bit his lip. "I really messed up, Liv."

She opened the door wider. "Come in. Let's talk."

Remus followed her into her room, and sat down at her desk. "I just left Tonks."

Olivia nodded.

"Liv – I kissed her. I mean _really_ kissed her." He blushed, knowing that only the fact that he was inebriated let him confess this to Olivia. "It was leading … well, you know where it was leading."

Olivia bit her lips to keep from smiling. "I thought there might be something there."

"No! There can't be!" Remus exclaimed. He reached up to clutch his hair in a gesture reminiscent of James. "Don't you see, Liv? I can't let this happen. I can't let her fall in love with me!"

Olivia's eyes widened. "Remus, don't you think you're being a bit harsh? She's a great girl."

"Exactly," he said, looking at her with tortured eyes. "And that's why we can't be together. She deserves someone so much better than me."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"No, you don't understand – you weren't there – "

"Then tell me. Make me understand."

He sighed. "We moved all her stuff, then we had dinner. We started drinking wine with dinner, and finished the bottle between the two of us."

"So you're drunk?" Olivia asked.

Remus shook his head. "When have you ever known me to get drunk off two and a half glasses of wine?"

"Hogwarts, maybe?"

"Exactly. I can handle my alcohol far better now."

"Was she drunk?"

Remus shook his head. "We were both tipsy, though. Mellow, really." He sighed. "Liv, if it hadn't been for the wine, I would never have kissed her like that."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know your inhibitions were lowered, but is that the _only_ reason you kissed her?"

"God, no," he admitted. "I wanted it – if things had gone like I wanted them to, I would still be with her right now."

"Then why aren't you?" she asked softly.

"It can't happen," he said hoarsely. "It just can't. And she needs to know that. I need – I need to decide …" He got up from his chair. "I need to sleep. Good night, Liv."

"Good night, Remus."

She sat looking at the door long after he had gone, wondering why he always had to make everything so difficult for himself.

* * *

The next morning, it was a considerably calmer Remus who descended into the dining room for breakfast. Again, Olivia was already seated when he made his appearance.

"Hi," she said with a tentative smile. "How are you?"

"Much better," he said, sitting down at her table. "I'm sorry that I put you through all that last night."

"Remus, don't worry about it," she said. "You were panicked. I'm glad you came to talk to me. That's what friends are for." She paused. "Last night, you said you needed to decide something. Have you made a decision?"

He nodded. "I'm going to go talk to her today. I need to tell her how I feel."

She bit her lip. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Yes. She needs to know. It's not fair of me to just let her think that we could have something, when in reality …"

"Remus, why can't you have something with her?" Olivia asked.

He smiled sadly. "I'm too old for her," he said. "I don't have a job. And, above all else, there's my 'furry little problem.'"

She sighed. "I really think those are all things that you can overcome."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Can you tell me when she's working today?"

"She has the afternoon shift," Olivia sighed. "She'll be off at eight."

"Thanks, Liv."

Olivia nodded, but didn't reply. Her only thought was that Tonks certainly would not thank her for giving out that piece of information.

* * *

Remus waited until half past eight to go to Tonks's new home. He wanted to give enough time to make sure she would be home, and to let her settle in. When he did arrive, he reached up to knock on her door with a shaking hand.

"Who is it?" she called.

"Remus Lupin," he said.

She opened the door and looked at him with wide eyes. "Remus," she said. "Hi."

"Hi, Tonks. Can I come in?" He wasn't surprised to see that she no longer sported her brown hair and blue eyes; she now had red hair and brown eyes.

"Of course," she said, opening the door fully to allow him to enter. "How are you?"

"Fine. You? How was work?"

"Oh, you know. Just trying to work out a game plan for my team." She bit her lip. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, I don't … Tonks, we need to talk."

"All right," she said nervously, leading him to the couch. "Let's sit down."

"Tonks, about last night … I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" she repeated. "Remus, you don't have anything to be sorry for. We both acted on our feelings, and we have nothing to be ashamed of." She smiled slightly. "Unless you're apologizing for stopping us. That you _should_ be sorry for."

He smiled slightly. "No, I mean … Tonks, you know that you mean a lot to me. Really, you're a great person and a wonderful friend. Working with me to arrange Olivia's visit, showing me the Muggle world, helping me after Sirius died, just being _you_ – it's all been incredible. And I thought that we could be friends and leave it at that. But, I don't think that's possible."

Her face flushed with anger. "So, you're saying that I've acted like a little girl with a crush on her older brother's best friend. You're saying that because I can't control my hormones – like the little girl that I am – we can't be friends."

"No," Remus said evenly. "No, that's not what I meant. I'm as guilty as you are. In case you missed it last night, I wanted to stay here with you as much as you wanted me to. The fact is that we're both attracted to one another."

"Exactly!" she said, cutting off the next statement that he would have made. "Exactly! So, why don't we act on it?"

"Because we can't," he said firmly. "We can't, Tonks. We're too different."

"You mean because of who I am? Because of how old I am?"

"No, love, I mean because of who _I _am," he said. "I'm a _werewolf_. You deserve so much more than me!"

"_I want you_," she yelled, jumping off the couch. "I don't care about your bloody werewolf problem! I don't care how old you are, or how much money you have, or about any other bloody excuse you're about to give me! I want you, Remus! That means that I want you as you are, not as you think you should be!"

He stood up to look her in the eye, sorrow etched in every line of his face. "Don't you see?" he asked quietly. "Who I am isn't good enough for you. That's why we can't ever be together. That's why we shouldn't see each other anymore. Not as friends, and certainly not as anything more."

"Remus," she said, choking back a sob, "don't do this to me. I can understand that you're not ready for a relationship, but please don't take your friendship away from me."

He shook his head. "It was going to happen either way. You're going to be at Hogwarts, and I'll be off with the werewolves soon enough."

Tears began to roll down her cheeks. "But that doesn't mean –"

"Yes, it does." He took her hands in his and raised them to his lips. He kissed them, then her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Tonks. This is how it has to be. I wish you all the luck in the world with your new mission. I know you'll be brilliant."

"Remus, please," she said, beginning to sob. "Please, don't – don't –"

"I have to," he said, feeling tears stinging the backs of his eyes. "We just can't be."

"Remus, _please_! _Please_, don't do this!"

"Tonks, please, don't make this harder than it is," he begged, looking at her with tear-filled eyes.

"How can you do this to us?" she asked through choking sobs.

"I have to," he said, knowing that he was ripping out both their hearts. He kissed her forehead. "Good bye, Tonks."

"Remus!" she sobbed. "Don't do this! I love you!"

But it was too late. He didn't hear her words. He already was gone.


	33. All the Reasons Why Not

A/N: I know that the last chapter was tough. We all know that Remus is being stupid. As Olivia said, he's too honorable for his own good. Oh, well. It makes for good drama, right?

Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! Your reviews always make me smile!

I don't own the Potter universe.

All the Reasons Why Not

Tonks sank back down on the couch, sobbing hysterically. She wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth as the sobs tore from her throat, trying to let all the hurt and anger drain from her. She knew that it was impossible – how could she force her broken heart to stop feeling all the pain of losing Remus? She didn't even try to bring her crying to an end. Why bother? After all that had happened, she couldn't think of any reason to ever smile again.

She had calmed down to the point of crying with an occasional sob when she heard a knock on the door. Her head snapped up.

"Remus?" she whispered. _He's realized his mistake – he's come back to me!_

That thought propelled her off the couch. She practically ran to the door. Completely certain that it was Remus, she didn't even ask for the identity of her visitor before throwing the door open.

She had never been disappointed to see Molly Weasley before.

"Tonks!" Molly exclaimed, the bright smile sliding off her face as she looked at Tonks's swollen, splotchy face and red-rimmed, blood-shot eyes. "My goodness, dear! What's wrong?"

Tonks began to cry once again, and stepped aside so that Molly could enter. The older woman immediately put her arms around Tonks, pulling her into a tight embrace. Tonks clung to her, sobbing in complete anguish. Molly ran her hand over Tonks's hair in a comforting gesture, surprised to observe that it was a mousy shade of brown that she didn't remember ever seeing the young woman wear before.

Molly didn't release Tonks until she had stopped crying. When she did, she looked at her with gentle, motherly eyes.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Tonks sighed, and tried to laugh. "It's silly, I suppose."

"I can't believe that you would be so upset over something silly," Molly said gently.

Tonks sighed. "Remus was just here."

Molly nodded, her expression rather confused.

"He – he said that we can't see one another anymore."

Molly frowned. "You told me that you and Remus _weren't_ seeing one another."

"No, we weren't, not like that, but – Oh, Molly, it's so confused and such a mess …"

She looked dangerously close to crying again. Molly grabbed her arm.

"Come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"You're coming to the Burrow."

"Oh, Molly, I can't impose …"

"You aren't," she said. "A change of scenery will do you good."

"I don't know …"

"I do," Molly said firmly. "Come on, we're going."

* * *

Remus made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron. He went straight to his room, where he found Olivia waiting for him.

"You've done it?" she asked.

He nodded.

"How did it go?"

Remus smiled sadly. "I just ripped out her heart. How do you think it went?"

"And _your_ heart?" she almost whispered.

He smiled sadly again, and sat down on the bed without replying. Olivia sat down next to him, taking his hand, lacing her fingers though his.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No," he sighed.

She nodded, but did not release his hand. "All right."

After a moment, Remus leaned toward her, dropping his head on her shoulder. She put her arm around him, reassuring him that she was there for him. Neither of them spoke. They didn't need to. At a time like this, words were almost irrelevant.

* * *

Within moments, Molly and Tonks arrived in the Burrow. For once, it did not seem to be overflowing with people and motion. Even if she couldn't see them, Tonks was sure that the house was teeming with people. She wiped at her face, trying to remove all traces of her tears before she faced the Weasley clan.

"Here we are," Molly smiled as they looked up at the house.

"Who's home?" Tonks asked.

"Right now? I think just Bill, Fleur, Ginny, Ron and Hermione."

"Hermione's here?"

"Yes," Molly smiled. "She's such a sweet girl – it's always so nice to have her here for the summer."

As they walked into the house, Bill and Fleur came out of it. Bill's eyes widened as he looked at Tonks.

"Hi, Tonks," he said.

"Hi, Bill," she said with an attempt at a smile.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his eyes and voice betraying his concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Tonks and I are going to have some tea," Molly said. "Where are you two going?"

"We're meeting some friends for drinks," Bill replied. "We shouldn't be too late."

"Are the others inside?"

"Yeah. They all went to bed already."

Molly nodded. "All right, dear. I'll see you later. Be careful."

"We will," he promised.

Bill kissed his mother's cheek, then took Fleur's hand, leading her out of the house. Tonks's eyes filled with tears again as she watched them leave together.

"Tea," Molly said firmly. She took Tonks's arm, and led her to the kitchen. "Sit down, dear."

Tonks obediently sat down at the table. She looked down, watching as her fingers traced nonsensical patterns over the tablecloth.

"Now," Molly said, sitting down and placing a mug of tea in front of each of them, "tell me what happened."

"I was so stupid, Molly," Tonks sighed. "Remus – well, I should start at the beginning, shouldn't I?"

"If you'd like."

"The beginning." Tonks sighed and ran her hands over her face. "I guess this all started when I met Remus at my first Order meeting. I was immediately attracted to him." She smiled sadly. "It seems silly – I mean, he's so much older than me, and I didn't know anything about him. I had never even met him before that. But in that first moment, there was something … I don't know. It was beyond the fact that I found him physically attractive. There's something in his eyes … I could just tell he was special. After we became friends, I found out that he really is one of the nicest men I've ever known. Even that, though, doesn't say enough to describe him."

"Remus is a wonderful person," Molly agreed.

Tonks nodded. "Well, at first I thought it was just me having a crush on my cousin's friend. Remus was always wonderful to me, and he became my friend, too, but he never suggested that he wanted anything other than that. Sirius always told me that I should pursue him, and, from what I've heard, he told Remus the same thing, but nothing came of it."

Molly smiled slightly. "You know, dear, the first time I attended an Order meeting, I asked Sirius if there was something between you and Remus."

"Really?"

Molly nodded. "Watching you two talk … I always noticed sparks."

Tonks flushed, then sighed again. "Well, after Sirius died, Remus finally admitted that he had feelings for me. Of course, I told him that I felt the same way. But, he said that we couldn't be together. He said that there's too many issues between us – and that he's not good enough for me."

Molly shook her head sadly. "Remus never thinks he's good enough. I don't understand why he always feels that way."

"Well, I let it go, and we went back to being friends. It wasn't easy for me – Kingsley thinks it's why I've been having so many problems morphing."

Molly raised her eyebrows. "Do you agree?"

Tonks laughed hollowly, picking up a strand of her mousy hair. "Yeah, I'd have to say that I agree."

"Your hair is like that because of Remus? What do you mean? What happened?"

"He helped me move yesterday," Tonks said. "After we had finished setting everything up in my new flat, we had dinner and some wine. We got a bit tipsy …" She flushed a deep shade of red. "Well, one thing led to another, and we ended up snogging."

Molly smiled and touched her hand. "Don't be embarrassed to tell me, dear. I'm not here to judge you."

Tonks smiled her thanks, but could not make her face any less red. "Remus stopped us before we could go very far," she said. "He said that we couldn't, and that he had to leave."

"He left you alone?"

"Yes. Really, I wasn't that upset about it. I know that he's working through a lot of issues about starting a relationship. He told me that he hasn't dated anyone since his wife died."

Molly shook her head. "That was such a tragedy. It always is when one dies so young."

"Did you know her?"

"No, but to hear Sirius and Remus talk about her, she was clearly one of the best women to ever live." She smiled sadly. "I know their opinions are rather rose-colored, but I also know that she must have been someone very special to win Remus's heart."

Tears filled Tonks's eyes again. "I don't understand why _I_ can't win it."

"I think you have," Molly said quietly. "Tell me what happened today."

"I went to work, like usual. I actually had a really good day. I've pretty much got the layout of the castle and grounds down. I just need to decide how to work out the Auror surveillance, and I think I'll be ready for the start of the school year." She paused and bit her lip. "Then, right after I got home, Remus came over. I was so excited to see him, Molly. I thought that maybe he'd want to pick up where we left off yesterday."

"But he didn't."

"No," she said sadly. "He started by apologizing for what happened yesterday. Then, he said that we couldn't ever be together. He's told me that before, and I've … well, not accepted it, but I'm okay with it for now. But then he said that we can't be friends anymore."

"What?" Molly gasped.

Tonks nodded. "He said that it's too hard to try to be friends, and we were going to be separated anyway, with me at Hogwarts and him headed to the werewolf colony."

"That's ridiculous!" Molly exploded. "No, Tonks, we'll find a way to convince him that he's wrong."

Tonks began to feel the first small glimmers of hope since her fateful conversation with Remus. "You think that he's wrong?"

"I know that he is," Molly said firmly. "I'll have Arthur talk to him. We'll make him see reason." She looked thoughtful. "Actually, he's coming for dinner on Sunday. Why don't you come, too?"

"Oh, no, Molly, I couldn't," Tonks said. "I can't let him think that I'm stalking him."

"Don't be silly," Molly said. "You're a friend of the family just like he is. You have as much right to be here as he does."

"No, it would be too awkward," Tonks protested.

Molly sighed. "I'll talk to him," she promised. "And I'll have Arthur talk to him. We can't leave this as it is."

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Molly stood to open it, admitting Professor Dumbledore and Harry. Unable to consider dealing with any questions the two of them might have, Tonks made a quick, hopefully graceful exit. Molly again invited her to dinner, and she again declined.

As she walked out to Disapparate, only one thought ran through her mind. _Arthur will be able to get through to him._ He had to. He was her only hope.

* * *

"Do you feel better now?" Olivia asked as Remus lifted his head from her shoulder.

"A bit," he admitted. "Thanks, Liv. You're the best."

"That's not exactly what I meant," she said.

"What did you mean?"

"I meant to ask if you feel better now that you've given Tonks her walking papers."

"That's a bit harsh," Remus said mildly. "I can't have given her her walking papers, considering we weren't actually dating."

"Remus, you were all but dating," Olivia said. "I think all that you lacked as the formality of calling each other 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend.' You spent half of last night making out with her!"

Remus smiled sadly. "I never wanted us to get to that point."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "Then, I ask you again: Do you feel better now?"

Remus looked at her for a long moment, his eyes reflecting his inner turmoil. "I feel like I ripped my heart out with hers," he said quietly.

"Then why did you do it?" Olivia exclaimed. "Why didn't you just run with it? You could have had a wonderful relationship! Remus, the two of you could have gotten married, had twelve children and lived a long, fun-filled life together! Why did you throw it all away?"

"Because, Liv, I'm not good enough for her," he said brokenly. "She deserves more than me. She deserves someone young, someone whole, someone with as bright a future ahead of him as she has ahead of her."

"Don't you get it?" Olivia asked. "She thinks that _you're_ that person."

"For now," Remus agreed. "But, in a few years, she'll realize the truth, and where will that leave me?"

"Remus, I swear, sometimes you are completely impossible to reason with," Olivia exclaimed. "Why can't you stop worrying about the 'what if' for five minutes? Then, you'd have time to see that you need to live in the present, and to seize opportunities when they jump up and down in front of you!"

"Liv, girls like her don't want to date werewolves like me."

Olivia drew a deep breath, and pulled out the big guns. "Laura loved you," she said gently. "She loved you enough to marry you. Enough to want to have your baby. If she was willing to love you like that, why are you so sure that Tonks can't?"

Remus looked away. When he looked back, she could read the heartbreak in his eyes. "That was completely different."

"How, exactly?"

"Laura and I were both so young," he sighed. "We were idealistic. We refused to believe that anything could go wrong. But, it did, Liv. Life crashed in around us and took Laura from me."

"That doesn't have anything to do with you – neither as a person nor as a werewolf."

"It's proof that I don't deserve to be loved like that," Remus said, his eyes filling with tears. "Girls – women – deserve more than me."

Olivia grabbed his hand again, squeezing it tightly. "You're wrong, Remus," she said softly. "You deserve the best of everything. You were married to Laura, and I didn't know anyone better for you than her. And now, Tonks wants to be with you. I know that I don't know her that well, but, Remus, she seems like a great person to me. She seems exactly the type of woman that you deserve – and you seem the type of man that she deserves."

He shook his head. "She deserves more than me."

Olivia sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to get any more sense out of him. She settled for staying with him, lending all the emotional support she could.

* * *

"You're up late," Arthur said to Molly as she returned to the kitchen after settling Harry in Fred and George's room. "Did Dumbledore and Harry wake you?"

"No, I was up with Tonks," Molly sighed. "The poor girl is a wreck."

Arthur frowned. "She seemed a bit off the last time she was here. Bill said that she was having trouble changing her appearance."

"Yes, she is," Molly sighed. "Arthur – she and Remus are having problems."

Arthur choked on his onion soup. "I didn't know that she and Remus were dating."

"They aren't," Molly said. She sighed again. "I have to admit, it's a strange situation."

"Can I have the abridged version?"

"They both are falling for one another," Molly explained. "Unfortunately, Remus doesn't seem to think that he's good enough for her, and told her they have to end their friendship so as not to tempt themselves into more."

Arthur shook his head. "Strange line of thinking."

"I told her … Arthur, do you think you could talk to him?"

His eyes widened. "What exactly are you hoping for me to say?"

"I don't know, to be honest. I just thought that if you talked to him, as a married man, maybe you could make him see reason."

"He _was_ a married man, Molly."

"Then he'll be able to relate to you," she snapped. "Please, Arthur, Tonks and Remus are perfect for one another! They just need a little nudge."

Arthur shook his head. "I don't know, Molly. I don't like the idea of meddling in other people's romantic lives."

"It's not meddling," she said persuasively. "It's just helping. Don't you remember what Gideon did for us all those years ago?"

Arthur smiled. "He said that we had to help another couple to pay him back."

"Exactly. I think we've found the couple we need to help."

"But, Molly, that was different. We already knew what we wanted."

"So do they," she said firmly. "Remus just needs to understand that it's right."

"All right," Arthur sighed. "I'll see if I can find him tomorrow."

* * *

"I can't believe we did that," Remus said shakily. "How could we have agreed to take the first flat we looked at?"

"Because it was the nicest flat either of us have ever seen, and because the price was extremely reasonable," Olivia said. "Here, Remus, drink something. You look like you need it to stay on your feet."

Remus smiled at her from across the table they had chosen in the middle of the Three Broomsticks, and took a sip of his butterbeer. "I'm fine, Liv. I think I'm just still in shock."

She giggled. "Remus, the place is great. The price is great. The location is great. Stop worrying and just be happy! We came here to celebrate, not to panic!"

"You're right, you're right," Remus said, taking another drink. "Everything is fine."

"Remus! Olivia!"

They both looked up to see Arthur Weasley approaching them. He gave them a bright smile as he stopped in front of their table.

"Hi, Arthur," they said together. They looked at one another and laughed.

"May I join you?"

"Of course."

Arthur sat down at the table, and leaned in, motioning for them to do the same. "I have news from Dumbledore."

Remus and Olivia looked at one another, then back at Arthur, their eyes urging him to continue.

"It would appear that Harry's inheritance is in order," he said.

"You mean, the house …?" Remus asked in shock.

"Exactly," Arthur replied. "And he is more than willing for it to continue its most recent use."

"Wow," Remus said. "Andromeda was so sure …"

Olivia smiled a bittersweet smile. "I don't know why we're surprised. Sirius was a very powerful wizard. We always knew that."

"True," Remus said. He smiled. "Harry's staying with you, right, Arthur?"

"Yes. You'll see him tomorrow when you come for dinner."

"Excellent."

Arthur smiled a bit uncomfortably. Olivia, who had built a career around observing others, noticed that the tips of his ears were turning red.

"Are you all right, Arthur?"

"Fine, fine," he smiled. "I just … Remus, could I have a word with you?"

"I'll go get us another round," Olivia said at once, jumping up from the table. "I wanted to have a chance to catch up with Madam Rosmerta, anyway."

Remus turned to Arthur as Olivia walked away. "Yes?"

Arthur cleared his throat. "Remus, Molly told me what happened between you and Tonks."

Remus flushed. "I didn't realize that the news would travel so quickly."

"Good news always does," Arthur said dryly. "I have to admit, it was a surprise."

"Which part?" Remus asked. "That someone like her would be interested in someone like me?"

"That you had turned her away," Arthur said honestly.

Remus's eyes widened.

"Remus, she truly cares about you," Arthur said. "Her heart is broken because of what happened, and, from what I can see, you don't exactly seem yourself, either."

Remus sighed. "It's been difficult for both of us, I'm sure."

"Then why let it continue?" Arthur asked. "Why not go find her and apologize? Believe me, she'd be more than willing to forgive you. I know she'd love to give a relationship with you another try."

"She deserves someone better," Remus said flatly. "Arthur, you know what I am. How can I ask her to throw her life away on … well, on someone like me?"

Arthur leaned back in his chair, surveying Remus for a moment. "Do you know what I think about that, Remus?"

"That I _am_ good enough for her? Don't even bother. Liv's said it enough times for the entire world."

"I wasn't going to say that, because I didn't even think I should honor the idea that you _aren't_ good enough for her with a reply," Arthur said.

"Oh," was Remus's inarticulate reply.

"I was going to say that she's going to give you her life either way," Arthur said. "If you leave things as they are now, she's going to spend the rest of her life miserable, wishing that she could be with you. If you talk it out and let a relationship grow, she's going to spend her life making you happy, the same way you would spend your life making her happy."

Remus stared at him, unsure of how to reply.

"That's just the way I see it, Remus," Arthur said, standing to his feet. "You need to make a decision. Would you rather she spend her life pining for you, or living with you?" He smiled a bit sadly. "It's been nice talking with you. If you need anything – anything at all – you know where to find me."

"Right," Remus mumbled.

"I'll see you tomorrow for dinner." With one last smile, Arthur disappeared into the crowded bar.

Olivia was back at the table with two bottles of butterbeer within seconds.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"To talk about me and Tonks," Remus said. He shook his head. "He was wrong. I know it."

"What did he say?"

"That she's going to spend the rest of her life being miserable if she can't have me."

Olivia bit her lip. "Remus, don't you think –"

"No," Remus said firmly. "Don't even say it. The subject is closed."

Olivia nodded. "All right. It's your life."

"Exactly. I know that I've made the right decision."

Why, then, did he feel more miserable than he ever had before?


	34. Family

A/N: I know! Remus is a moron! But, he's our moron, so we still love him. Right?

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I love to read your thoughts on each chapter! Enjoy!

I don't own Harry's world.

Family

Remus straightened his robes, wishing they looked a bit nicer. While dinner with the Weasleys wasn't exactly the social event of the year, he would have liked to dress up a bit for it. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed.

"What can I do?" he asked his reflection. "Werewolves don't have much money."

He glanced at his watch and realized that he was on the verge of being late. He Disapparated from his hotel room, and reappeared in the Weasleys' yard. His knock on the front door was answered by Bill, who greeted him with a grin.

"Hi, Remus," Bill said. "Are you ready for the chaos that is about to ensue?"

"Chaos?" Remus asked as he stepped into the house. "What are you talking about?"

"This family, Harry, Hermione, you and Moody for dinner? It's going to be insane."

Remus laughed. "Well, I think a little insanity might be what I need."

"All right," Bill said, leading him through the house to the back yard, "but don't say I didn't warn you."

Molly – or, rather, Bill and the twins – had set up several long picnic tables for the occasion. Ginny, Hermione and Fleur were busy setting the tables. Remus grinned to notice Ginny and Hermione avoiding all nonessential conversation with Bill's fiancée. The twins were standing off to the side with Harry and Ron, undoubtedly discussing some new product line. Arthur and Moody were sitting at one end of the table, talking quietly. A harassed-looking Molly came out of the house carrying a platter of chicken.

"Ginny, come here and take this, please," she called. She looked across the yard and caught sight of Remus standing with Bill. "Remus! Hello!"

"Hi, Molly," Remus called back.

This interaction called everyone else's attention to the fact that he was there. Ginny and Hermione, obviously using him as an excuse not to deal with Fleur, practically ran across the yard to greet him.

"Hi, Professor Lupin!" they said as one.

"Hi, girls," he smiled. He wondered vaguely what it would take to make them drop the "Professor" and call him by his given name. "How have you been? Enjoying summer?"

"Oh, yes," Hermione smiled.

"I've had better," Ginny said, shooting her brother a murderous look.

"Ginny, enough," Bill sighed. "I'm marrying her, so you need to get over it."

She stuck her tongue out at him, then ran off at a call from her mother. Arthur took the opportunity to shake his hand.

"Remus," he smiled. "So glad you could make it."

"Thank you for the invitation," Remus smiled. "I don't get to experience a family dinner all that often – at least, not a family dinner on this scale."

"Few do, Remus, few do," Arthur smiled.

"Lupin," Moody said, shaking his hand. "How's my girl?"

Remus's eyes widened slightly at what he thought the older man might be implying. "I haven't seen her in a few days," he said, knowing that it would be useless to pretend that he didn't know to whom Moody was referring.

"Alexander is working her too hard," Moody growled. "I'm not saying she isn't ready to run a mission. She certainly is ready for it – has been for some time now. I just think he may have started her off with something a little over her head."

"I think she'll do well," Remus said. "She seems very dedicated to doing a good job."

Moody nodded. "Oh, she'll succeed. I'll make sure of it."

"Hi, Professor Lupin."

Remus turned to see the Weasley boys and Harry grinning at him. He smiled back. "Hello to all of you." He shook hands around the group, ending with Harry. He gave him a wide smile. "How's your summer going, Harry?"

Harry grinned. "Excellent," he said. "I still can't believe I'm here and not back with the Dursleys. Dumbledore really came through for me." He paused. "And thank you, too, Professor, for coming with the group to threaten them. It really helped."

Remus smiled, trying to ignore the way his heart twisted to hear Harry using "Professor" to address him. The others had known him first as a teacher, but Harry had known him as "Uncle Remus" long before his tenure at Hogwarts. _He doesn't remember it,_ Remus reminded himself. _He was just a baby – barely old enough to walk or to talk. _"I'm glad it helped," he said aloud. "And I'm glad that summer is going so well for you."

"Definitely better than last year," Harry grinned.

"Let's sit down, everyone," Molly called.

They all moved toward the table, where the younger Weasleys dove to claim the seats they wanted. Remus smiled to see Harry and Hermione readily partake in what he was sure was a family tradition. He had to hide his grin when he noticed that Ginny had placed herself between Hermione and Ron and across from Fred and George. She was clearly trying her hardest to escape from her future sister-in-law.

"Here, Professor, have a seat," Fred said, pulling out the chair next to him.

"Thanks, Fred," Remus said, sitting down. "You know," he said, looking around to include the twins, Ron, Ginny, Harry and Hermione, "you don't have to call me 'Professor' anymore. I haven't been your teacher in years."

"What else would we call you?" Ron asked with a bewildered frown.

"Just 'Remus' would be fine," he replied with a smiled.

The teenagers all looked at one another in shock.

"I don't know if we can do it," George said, shaking his head. "We can try, if it'll make you feel better."

"I'll take what I can get," Remus said, dropping his napkin into his lap.

"Have you talked to Tonks recently, Remus?" Molly asked from the other end of the table. "She was looking a bit off the last time I saw her."

"I was just telling Mad-Eye that I haven't seen her in a few days," Remus replied a bit uncomfortably. There was no mistaking what Molly was implying.

"I invited her to come to dinner today, but she declined," Molly pressed, giving Remus a significant look.

"I expect she's quite busy with work," Remus said evenly.

"Hm," Molly replied.

Harry, Hermione and Ron exchanged a worried glance. Remus looked at them questioningly.

"Problems?" he asked lightly.

"We're a bit worried about Tonks," Hermione confessed. "She hasn't seemed herself recently."

"She's been very busy," Remus said. "You can imagine how much work Voldemort's return to the public eye has created for the Aurors."

"I suppose that's true," Hermione said in a tone that clearly implied that she thought there was more to the story. "You've tried to talk to her, right?"

"Of course," Remus said, wondering exactly how much this very astute little girl knew, or what exactly she thought she knew. "She's just having a rough time of it right now."

Hermione looked at Harry. "I can understand that," she said quietly. "A lot of people lost something that night in the Ministry."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You can just say it, Hermione. You think that she's upset over Sirius dying."

"Of course she is," Remus said, seizing on this. "He was her cousin."

"I thought they weren't that close," Ron argued.

"Family always matters, Ron," Remus said lightly. "You should know that."

"Except when that family is a very pompous older brother," Fred said, using far more force than was necessary to cut his meat. "In that case, said older brother can spend the rest of his days trying to pull his head out of his arse without the help of his family."

Ron, George and Ginny laughed.

"Being family doesn't make you loved automatically," Harry said. Something flashed in his eyes. "Being related to someone doesn't mean you have to care about them."

"You don't care about your family, Harry?" Remus asked mildly.

"Not particularly," Harry said, trying to make it sound like he was bored with the entire conversation.

"I think you _do_ care," Remus said. "You didn't leave your cousin to be kissed by the dementors, did you?"

Harry sighed. "I couldn't just leave him, Professor."

Remus smiled. "Even when we don't think we care at all about someone, we are rarely eager to see them hurt, to see them suffer, or to see them die. Do you see my point? Even though Sirius was indeed in Azkaban for most of Tonks's life, she still knew him as her cousin. She still cared about him. She never wanted to see him die. Of course she is sad that he's gone."

"See?" Hermione said, giving the boys a triumphant look. "I told you – she's terribly upset over the whole thing. Professor Lupin is right. Family does matter."

Although Remus was glad to have Hermione back him up, he inwardly sighed at the continued use of his former title. Retraining this group could take quite awhile.

"I'll tell you one thing," Ginny said in a low voice, "I don't care if she is marrying my brother – it'll be a cold day in hell before I acknowledge Phlegm as my sister."

Fred and George both laughed.

"Ginny, I really think you're overreacting."

"Fred, I really think you don't live here anymore," Ginny replied. "I really think you don't see what happens every day."

"And I really think you've been telling me that Mum is going to put a stop to this marriage before it can happen," George said. He chuckled dismissively. "Isn't that what you said? That she's been trying to get Bill to leave Fleur for Tonks?"

Remus stopped himself just before choking on his water. He put his glass back down on the table and took his time wiping his mouth.

"Well, you find me another reason that she keeps trying to get Tonks to come over!" Ginny said defensively.

"Ginny, I really think she's just trying to be nice to Tonks," Fred said. "You know how Mum is. She'd adopt everyone in the world if she could. Why do you think these two are here?" He jerked his head toward Harry and Hermione. "She's already pretty much made Harry and Hermione family members, so she needed a new project. Enter Tonks."

"Well, I still think she's trying to get rid of Phlegm," Ginny said stubbornly.

"Stop using that name, or Mum will hear you," Ron said. "You know how she is about it. We do _not_ need a scene at dinner."

"I disagree, Ronnie," Fred said. "I mean, George and I came all the way here for dinner. I think we deserve a bit of entertainment. A floor show, if you will." He looked at Remus. "And, we have guests! Even better. Free entertainment for the whole crowd."

Remus smiled. "I'll be fine without the show, thank you. I've seen displays of temper before."

"But not like Mum's, you haven't," George grinned.

"You'd be surprised," Remus said, thinking of Sirius.

They made it through dinner without any displays of temper. After the meal, they all sat chatting companionably until Moody realized how late it was.

"I'd best get home," he said. "Thank you, Molly, Arthur. It's been wonderful, as always."

"You'll have to come again soon," Molly said. "Oh, Remus, are you leaving, too?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I have to," Remus said. "Thank you, Molly. Everything was wonderful."

The younger members of the party all shouted farewells to Remus from across the yard. Bill and Fleur were sitting together in conversation and the others were going to find brooms to play an impromptu game of Quidditch, Fred yelling to Bill that "only old men sit out Quidditch to talk to their fiancées."

"Have you had time to think about what I said?" Arthur asked in a low voice.

Remus smiled sadly. "I've made the right decision."

"Is that why both of you are miserable?" Molly asked pointedly.

"I've already gotten this from Olivia," Remus sighed.

"Well," Molly said, "maybe it bears repeating."

He shook his head. "By the way, your children think you're trying to get Bill to leave Fleur for Tonks. They think that's the reason you keep inviting her over."

Molly laughed. "Ah, if only," she teased. "No, Tonks and Bill are good friends, but I know it won't go anywhere from there. Even before there was Fleur, I knew he would never date her. For one thing, I just don't see any chemistry between them. And even if there was something there, she dated Charlie, and those two boys have a strict policy against dating each other's former girlfriends. They're afraid it would come between them."

"Makes sense," Remus said.

She nodded. "Besides, I know that her heart belongs to someone else."

Remus gave her another sad smile. "Good night, Molly. Thank you for everything. You, too, Arthur."

"Come again anytime," Arthur said. "You know you have an open invitation."

"Thanks." Remus smiled one last time before Disapparating.

_scene break_

"So, that's it?" Dana asked. "You're through with her?"

"I don't know if that's the right way to put it," Remus said mildly. "I wasn't ever really _with_ her. It's not as though we've broken up."

Dana and Laura were helping Remus and Olivia move into their new flat. Dana and Remus were arranging the third bedroom into a library, while Olivia and Laura were organizing the kitchen. Dana was using her time alone with Remus to get the full, unabridged version of what had happened between him and Tonks the week before.

"Remus, I know you had feelings for her," Dana said, taking books from a box and stacking them up on the floor. "Don't try to tell me that this isn't hard for you."

"Of course it's hard for me," Remus sighed as he slid the desk chair across the room to join the desk under the window. "But, Dana, it was the right thing to do. She deserves so much more than me."

"I don't know how anyone could possibly be 'more than you,'" Dana said. "Remus, I don't understand how you can't see how wonderful you are."

He smiled slightly. "You're biased."

Whatever comment Dana would have made was cut off by a shriek from the kitchen. Remus and Dana looked at one another for a second, then bolted for the kitchen, both pulling out their wands as they ran.

"He's coming, he's coming, he's coming!"

Remus and Dana stopped short at the doorway. They both stood there as though dumbstruck, watching Laura clutch a piece of parchment to her chest while she jumped up and down. Olivia laughed at them.

"We're not under attack, so you can put your wands away," she said. "Laura just received an owl." She shrugged. "Apparently, it's good news."

"Mum!" Laura yelled, bouncing to her side. "Look! Pierre wrote me back and said his parents gave him permission to visit! He'll be here next week!"

"That's great," Dana smiled. "Does he say when he'll get here?"

Laura looked back at the parchment. "He'll be here on Friday afternoon."

"Well, that gives us plenty of time to get ready." She looked at Remus. "How about coming over for dinner on Friday?"

"Just tell me what time, and I'll be there."

_scene break_

Promptly at four o'clock, as prearranged, Remus knocked on Dana's front door. The door was thrown open so quickly that Remus was certain that Laura had been standing in the foyer waiting for a knock. He grinned at the disappointed look on her face when she saw that he was the one standing on her doorstep.

"Not sad to see me, are you?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"No," she smiled. "I just thought that you might be Pierre."

Remus glanced at his watch. "I thought he wasn't due for another half hour."

"I was hoping he might be early."

"He still might be."

She nodded. "Mum's in the kitchen, if you want to say hello."

"Thanks, love."

Remus left her alone to hold vigil for Pierre, and made his way to the kitchen. Dana was in the midst of making dinner, throwing spells around so fast that it nearly made Remus's head spin.

"Do you think what you're doing counts as a battle technique?"

She jumped and turned to face him. "Gracious, Remus! You nearly scared me to death!"

He laughed and crossed to kiss her cheek. "Sorry. That wasn't my intention."

She ran a hand through her hair distractedly. "Is Laura still waiting by the door?"

"Yes."

"She's been there since three," Dana sighed. "I hope Pierre isn't late. I don't know if she could stand it."

"I'm sure he'll be here on time."

Dana bit her lip. "This whole thing makes me so nervous, Remus."

He smiled. "I know, love. But you'll get through it. Everything will be fine."

"I hope you're right."

"I am. If James's parents could handle meeting Lily and accepting that their little boy was dating her, you can certainly do the same for Laura."

She smiled. "I guess you're right. They did have trouble with the idea that James was old enough to do much of anything."

Remus smiled again. "Everything will be fine," he repeated. "Now, what can I do to help?"

They worked together in companionable silence for nearly half an hour before they heard a knock on the door. Seconds later, they heard Laura squeal.

"Well, let's get this over with," Dana said, brushing her hair back from her eyes.

"Wait a minute, Mum," Remus said, catching her arm. "Let's give them some time to say hello."

She looked at him in surprise. "Remus, this is Laura's boyfriend. She brought him here to meet me. I have to go greet him."

"Yes, of course," Remus said. "But, give them a minute to say hello to one another first. Don't you remember how it was when we were at Hogwarts? It was so hard to leave our significant others for holidays. Remember how desperate you were to talk to Aidan alone after time apart?"

"I suppose you're right on that."

Remus smiled. "It wasn't that long ago that we were that age, Dana. We have to try to remember what it was like. It helps us understand her better."

"Right," she said with a nod. "We'll give them some space."

"Good."

She glanced at her watch. "How long do we have to give them?"

"Two minutes," Remus said, knowing that she would explode if he suggested any longer amount of time.

"I think I can live through that."

"I think so, too."

The two minutes had nearly expired when they heard Laura's voice.

"Mum?"

"Thank goodness," Dana said. She raised her voice to respond to her daughter, "We're in the kitchen, darling!"

The door swung open, and Laura entered the room, followed closely by a young man. Remus's initial impression was of his height. Pierre stood at least a head taller than Laura; he was several inches taller than Remus. He smiled nervously as Laura introduced him to Dana in French.

French.

Remus had never considered this problem. While Dana and Laura were fluent in the language after living in France for so many years, he only knew a few words – certainly not enough to keep up with this rapid-fire conversation. Dana glanced at him and smiled sympathetically.

"Does Pierre speak English?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," Laura said. She looked at Remus and blushed. "I didn't think about it – we always speak to one another in French and you speak it, too, Mum … I'm sorry, Uncle Remus." She paused for breath and smiled. "Pierre, this is Remus Lupin, my godfather."

"I am pleased to meet you," Pierre said in heavily accented English. "Laura always speaks of you very highly."

"And of you," Remus said, shaking the young man's hand. "I've been looking forward to meeting you."

"Laura, why don't you show Pierre where he'll be staying? We'll have dinner in a few minutes."

"Okay," Laura agreed. She turned to Pierre and said something in French, and he followed her out of the room.

"Oh, this could be a difficult meal," Dana sighed. "I never thought that we'd have to remind them to speak English for you."

Remus smiled. "Maybe I should have learned French when I had the chance."

She shook her head. "He can obviously speak English fine. They just have to get used to speaking it while they're here."

_scene break_

Dinner was, as Dana had feared, a linguistic nightmare. Laura and Pierre frequently lapsed into French. Each time, it took several moments before Dana would realize that they had switched languages and remind them to speak English while Remus was there. By the end of the meal, Remus felt as though his head was spinning and his ears were ringing. He had never spent so much time being so confused by normal conversation in his life.

After dinner, Remus and Dana cleaned up while Laura showed Pierre around the neighborhood. The two teenagers were under strict orders to be home before dark. Laura immediately agreed, knowing that while Diagon Alley was safe enough during the day, one could never be too careful at night.

"You don't have to bother forcing them to speak English while I'm here," Remus said. "I don't want to make them uncomfortable."

"Oh, no," Dana said, her eyes flashing. "She's being inconsiderate, and I will not have that. And, Remus, this is for _you_. I've never seen her refuse to do anything for you before." She shook her head. "I don't know about this."

"He seems like a very nice, well-mannered young man," Remus said soothingly. "Just because he speaks French in front of me doesn't make him a bad influence on her."

She shook her head. "You're right, of course. I just can't quite think that anyone is good enough for my Laura."

Remus smiled. "Well, he still has time to convince you. How long is he here?"

"Until Sunday night." She smiled. "I hope we can all make it that long."

_scene break_

"Laura, I need to run out to the store," Dana said in French, popping her head into the living room where Laura and Pierre were playing chess. "Will you be all right on your own until I get back?" Speaking French had become second nature during the few days that Pierre had been with them.

Laura rolled her eyes before responding, also in French. "I think I can handle not burning down the house."

"I'd appreciate it," Dana smiled. "I'll be back in about an hour, I'd say."

Laura nodded, her main focus the chessboard in front of her. "Fine."

Dana shook her head, and left the house. She hurried her shopping, hoping to be home sooner rather than later. While she trusted her daughter not to "burn down the house," she was a bit nervous leaving her alone given the current security issues the country was facing.

Surprisingly, the idea that she had just left her teenager daughter alone with her boyfriend never entered her thoughts. She had taken Remus quite seriously when he had suggested that it would help if she remembered what it was like to be a teenager. For some reason, all she could remember was giggling in her dormitory with Olivia, Lily and Kathleen over the fact that Aidan had asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him. The raging hormones that led them to snog in broom closets were somehow forgotten.

She finished her shopping quicker than she had anticipated, and made her way home. She put her purchases down in the kitchen, and went into the living room to tell Laura that she was back.

Laura wasn't there.

Dread filled her. Where could she be? She knew enough not to leave while Dana was out, and certainly not without telling her where she would go. If she hadn't left on her own, that only left one alternative.

Panic threatened to seize her, but she refused to allow it to take over. So she wasn't in the living room. She had to be somewhere. Although her first instinct was to scream for her, her Order training had taught her never to call attention to herself. She pulled out her wand, and began moving through the house as quietly as possible. If Laura had been attacked … if the Death Eaters were still there, surprise was her best ally.

Dana made it through the first floor without finding her daughter. The panic rose up in her throat as she climbed the stairs. _Maybe she's just in her room._

Laura's bedroom door was closed. Dana hesitated a second, terrified of what she might find inside the room. She gripped the doorknob, and slowly turned it, opening the door, staring in shock at the scene playing out before her.

She would almost have rather found her daughter being tortured by Death Eaters.

Laura was lying on her bed, with Pierre on top of her, snogging with completely abandon. Utter horror filled Dana at the sight. The only positive she could find in the situation was that both teenagers were still fully clothed.

"_Laura_!" she shrieked.

Pierre jumped off Laura, who sat bolt upright. Her face, which had been flushed as a result of her recent activity, turned beet red.

"Mum," she whispered.

"Don't you 'Mum' me!" Dana exclaimed. All thought of speaking French to make it easier for Pierre was gone. High emotions always forced her back into her native language. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Er …"

"Haven't I taught you better? Don't you know – how could you – how _dare_ you – what were you thinking –?" There were so many questions to ask that they all ran together.

"Mum!" Laura finally yelled. "How dare _you_? This is _my_ room! You can't just barge in on me! You need to have some respect for my privacy!"

"Not if this is the way you're going to behave when I give you privacy!" Dana yelled back. "This is completely unacceptable behavior!"

"I don't see why!" Laura yelled, her eyes filling with tears. "I wasn't doing anything wrong, Mum!"

Dana's eyes sparkled dangerously. "You know very well what you've done wrong, Laura."

Laura remained silent, but held her head up. She was not going to let her mother make her feel ashamed for kissing her boyfriend.

Laura's silence almost scared Dana more than anything she could have said. She collected herself. "Downstairs. Now."

"Why?" Laura asked mutinously.

"Because that way I'll be able to watch what you're doing for the last hour of Pierre's visit."

_scene break_

"So you caught them snogging?" Olivia asked, trying to keep the laughter from her eyes.

"Yes," Dana sighed. She buried her face in her hands. "It was one of the lower moments of my life, I can assure you."

Remus grinned. "How did Laura take the whole thing?"

"I think 'not well' would be the understatement of the year. She barely spoke to me before he left, and she hasn't spoken to me at all since then."

"What's that, about sixteen hours?"

"Something like that."

"I don't see why you're so upset," Olivia shrugged.

"Liv, my daughter is giving me the silent treatment!"

"No, I mean about catching them snogging. I know it must have been awkward, but I think we've all snogged someone in our parents' houses. Am I right?"

"I'm sure I never snogged anyone in my parents' house," Dana said. She shook her head. "I'm in half a mind to make her break up with him."

"Whoa," Remus said. "Dana, I know you're upset, but you can't do that. It will completely ruin your relationship with her. She'd never forgive you for something like that. And, honestly, do you really think she'd obey you? They go to school together, you know. They could very easily just call it off while she's home with you, and then pick right up where they left off when they get back to Beauxbatons."

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "I could always have her transfer to Hogwarts."

"With the threat Hogwarts is under?" Olivia shook her head. "Don't even consider it."

"I know, I know. I just wish there was something I could do."

"Dana, all she did was snog him," Olivia said. "Is that really so bad?"

"Liv, this is my _daughter_. My little girl. I can't handle … if I think about the fact that she's snogging him, that opens the door to the idea that she's doing far more with him."

Olivia sighed, realizing that she would have to be the voice of reason. "Look, Dana, if she's going to shag him, she's going to shag him, and there's nothing you can do to change that."

Dana's horrified eyes swung from Olivia's face to Remus's.

"She's right, Dana," Remus sighed. He glanced at Olivia, then back at Dana. "We're not all like you. Not everyone waits for marriage to have sex."

"She's fifteen!" Dana cried. "I doubt that either of you were fifteen when you …"

"Seventeen," Remus said.

"Eighteen," Olivia said.

Dana paled. "Tell me we were older than that."

"Sorry," Olivia shrugged. She grinned. "Seventh year was fun, wasn't it?"

Remus smiled tolerantly, dimly shocked by how easily he was confessing the secrets of his past to his friends. "Dana, the point is, she's going to make her own decisions. You've had fifteen years to teach her all that you could about the way you think she should act. Now, she gets to show you how much she's learned."

"I know that. I just wish that I could be sure she would actually let me know how much she's learned," Dana said miserably. "For as much as she talks to me now, I doubt that she'd even tell me if she were pregnant. Do you realize that she dated him for _a year_ before she told me? And then she only confessed it because we were moving here!"

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Olivia offered. "I'm not her mother, so it might be easier for her to confess all to me."

Dana shook her head. "Liv, you know she loves you, but you're one of my best friends. She'd think that I sent you in after her. She'd never open up to you. Someone else has to talk to her."

"Don't look at me," Remus said. "That would top the list of awkward conversations. No teenage girl wants to tell her father figure that she's sleeping with her boyfriend." He turned a bit green. "And, to be honest, I'm not sure I'd want to hear her confession."

"Why don't we ask Tonks to do it?" Olivia asked thoughtfully.

"Tonks?" Remus repeated, his face flushing slightly.

"Yes, Tonks," Olivia said. "She's a friend of yours, obviously, but she doesn't really know Dana yet, so it won't seem like an ambush orchestrated by her mother. She's younger than we are, so it would probably remove some of the awkwardness. And, we already know that Laura thinks she's cool. She'd probably be willing to talk to her – especially if Tonks would be willing to share some of her own experiences." She glanced at Remus and giggled. "We can tell her that she's not allowed to talk about anything she did with you."

"Nothing happened between us," Remus muttered, his face flaming red. "We kissed a few times, but it never went farther than that."

"Then she won't have to worry about censoring herself," Olivia said.

"I like it," Dana said. "I think you're right. Tonks is the perfect person to send in as a spy. Can one of you talk to her? Like Liv said, I don't know her that well."

Remus cleared his throat. "Tonks and I aren't exactly on the best of terms right now."

"I'll do it," Olivia said quickly. "I'll see her at work tomorrow. I'll try to organize something then."

"Thanks, Liv," Dana said, beaming at her. "You're a lifesaver."

Olivia smiled. "That's what friends are for."


	35. Seeking Solutions

A/N: Just as a heads up, I'm back at school. So, I won't be able to update as frequently – I'll probably post a new chapter once a week. I'd love to give you a more definite schedule, but, as of right now, I'm not sure how far I'm going to have to stretch my time. Hopefully, I'll know more when I post the next chapter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you like this rather transitional chapter.

I don't own the Potter universe.

Seeking Solutions

It was several days before Tonks plucked up the courage to tell Kingsley what had happened with Remus. She finally decided that, as her best friend, he needed to know. She invited him over for breakfast, and spilled out the whole story.

"Well?" she said upon reaching the end of her tale. "What do you think?"

He sighed. "You poor girl," he said. "How long have you been shouldering this without me?"

"A week."

He shook his head. "You're not dealing, are you?"

"How can I?" she asked, tears gathering in her eyes. "I feel as though my heart is in a million pieces, and I don't have the faintest idea how to start picking them up, let alone how to put them back together."

Kingsley pulled her close, hugging her to his chest. "I'm sorry, love. I'm so, so sorry."

And, even though she had been certain that she didn't have any tears left to cry, Tonks found herself sobbing on Kingsley's shoulder. She wasn't sure if the tears were healing or not, but she did know that being locked in his strong arms was comforting.

When she finally stopped crying, she pulled back to look at him.

"I'm sorry, King. I just keep dumping so much on you, and you're such a rock and a good friend and –"

"Stop," he smiled, putting a finger over her lips. "You're babbling."

"I guess so."

"Look, Tonks, don't feel bad about dumping this on me. I'd do the same to you if the situation were reversed – and I know you'd be there for me."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"So," he said, "do you want to pick this whole thing apart? Should we go over everything and try to figure out what Remus really meant by what he said?"

She shrugged. "What is there to pick apart? It's all very clear. Remus doesn't want me. He thinks that the fact that he's a werewolf means that we can't be together. And, really, King, if he thinks that I'm that shallow, maybe he's right."

Kingsley looked at her with complete compassion, shocked by this first negative reaction to anything Remus had said. "Do you really believe that?" he asked quietly.

"I don't believe that his condition has anything to do with us being together," she said.

"But …?"

"But, how can I fight this? How can I convince him that he's wrong? It just doesn't seem possible."

"You're going to give up?" he whispered.

"What choice do I have?" Tears filled her eyes. "Why do I have to love someone so much, when he wants nothing to do with me?"

Kingsley didn't reply; he merely hugged her again. And once again, Tonks collapsed in his arms, crying out all her heartbreak.

_scene break_

"So, what's on your agenda for today?" Remus asked as he and Olivia had breakfast together.

"Fighting the forces of evil, as always," she grinned. "I'm patrolling Muggle London."

"Sounds like fun."

"Sound like a challenge, you mean," she said. "I hate doing this. It's so hard to try to blend in while the Muggles all look at me like I'm some sort of psycho to be feared."

Remus gave her a teasing grin. "Do you think the robes might have something to do with it?"

"Maybe," Olivia laughed. "Or maybe they just don't like the way we stare at them like they're hiding something."

"That could be it," Remus laughed.

She sighed. "With all that's happening around here, you'd think I'd get to stay closer to home. But, then again, Amelia and Emmeline were killed in Muggle London, so maybe there's something to be said for being there."

Remus cleared his throat. "Will you see Tonks?"

"Yes, we're patrolling together. I'll ask her about talking to Laura." She shot him a glance. "And, if you'd like, I can ask about you."

His face turned bright red. "That's quite unnecessary."

Olivia laughed. "I knew you'd say that. I just like making you blush."

Remus laughed with her and shook his head. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes, yes, I'm leaving. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye."

Olivia Disapparated, only to reappear in the Ministry. She caught sight of Tonks walking toward the lifts, and hurried to catch up with her.

"Tonks!" she yelled. "Hey, Tonks!"

Tonks turned and gave Olivia a smile that did not reach her eyes. "Hi, Olivia."

"Good morning," Olivia said, stepping onto the lift with her.

She did her best to hide her surprise at the sight of her coworker. She had not seen Tonks since before Remus had left her, and was shocked by the change. Her hair was a mousy shade of brown that Olivia remembered seeing on Andromeda, and her face was incredibly pale. Dark circles beneath her eyes spoke of the nights sleep had eluded her.

Olivia realized that she was obviously staring, and tried to look her in the eye to start a conversation. When her eyes met Tonks's unmorphed, sorrowful eyes, she sucked in her breath. She had no idea that Tonks and Sirius had the same eyes. She finally fully understood why Remus had said that looking into Harry's eyes for the first time nearly knocked him flat. Looking at her, seeing Sirius's eyes on her face, was incredibly emotional.

"Are you all right?" Tonks asked.

"Yes," Olivia managed. "I'm sorry … your eyes …"

Tonks didn't seem perturbed by her observation. "Black eyes," she said. "It's a family trait. I'm sure you can understand why I normally change them."

"Yes," Olivia said slowly. "I just never realized … you and Sirius have the same eyes."

"Oh," Tonks said. "Right. I didn't know that you didn't know."

Olivia shook her head.

"Does it bother you?" Tonks asked quietly.

"No," Olivia said honestly. "It was just a bit of a shock at first, that's all."

Tonks nodded. "I can understand that."

"So, we're working together today," Olivia said, seeking a different topic of conversation.

"Right," Tonks said. The doors of the lift opened. "Shall we get our paperwork, then?"

"Sure."

They walked down the hall together, calling hello to the Aurors they passed.

"Liv!" Stephanie called, popping her head out of her office. "Lunch tomorrow?"

"I can't do tomorrow," Olivia said regretfully. "The day after?"

"Perfect. See you!"

Tonks looked at her. "You're having lunch with Stephanie Webster?"

"Yes," Olivia replied. "Is that a problem?"

"No, it's just surprising," Tonks said. "She's very no-nonsense. She's not usually one to socialize."

"Ah," Olivia said. "That would be a result of our training. Steph and I trained with Moody and Frank Longbottom. They pretty much preached the job over the social life." She smiled. "But, we still became friends. You're always fairly bonded to the people you train with and start as first-year Aurors with."

"Yeah, you're right," Tonks said as she scooped up the forms they needed for their shift. "Here, we need all of these."

Olivia took the pieces of parchment from her colleague and put them in her bag. She saw someone walking down the hall and looked up to see her brother.

"Hi, John!" she said with a bright smile.

He did not smile, but merely nodded to her and Tonks. "Good morning."

Olivia stared after him as he continued on to his office. Tonks looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Well, that was awkward."

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know what his problem is. He's been terribly cold to me ever since I got back."

"Maybe he doesn't want to be accused of playing favorites."

Olivia shrugged. "We have more important things to worry about than John. Come on, let's get to Muggle London."

_scene break_

Remus had just finished cleaning up from breakfast when he heard a knock on the door. Picking up his wand, he walked through to the entrance to the flat.

"Who is it?" he called.

"Molly Weasley."

Smiling, Remus dropped his wand and opened the door. "Hi, Molly."

"Hello, dear," she smiled as she entered. "I just wanted to bring you a house-warming gift."

"You didn't need to do that!" Remus exclaimed, taking the covered dish that she offered.

"I wanted to," she smiled. "Is Olivia home?"

"No, she's at work," Remus replied. He smiled sheepishly. "I'm afraid I'm something of a 'househusband' right now."

Molly looked at him in surprise. "I thought you were just flatmates …?"

"Oh, we are," Remus said quickly. "I just meant that, as I'm not working or on a mission right now, I'm the one taking care of the house."

"I see," Molly smiled.

"Can you stay for a bit? Can I get you a drink?"

"No, dear, I don't want to leave the children alone for too long. I just wanted to bring that to you, and to invite you and Olivia over for lunch."

Remus smiled. "When would you like us to come?"

"How's the day after tomorrow?"

"Perfect for me," Remus grinned. "I don't know what Olivia has planned though. So, for now, let's leave it that I'll be there for sure, and Liv is a definite maybe."

She smiled. "That's fine. I should warn you, it won't be like the dinner experience we had the other day."

"How so?"

"It'll just be the four who are still at Hogwarts, you and I," she said. "Arthur, the older boys and Fleur will all be at work."

Remus nodded. "Sounds lovely."

"Good," Molly smiled. "I'll see you then, Remus."

"Thanks, Molly," Remus smiled, "both for the invitation and for the gift."

She waved her hand. "It was nothing."

As she left the flat to go back home, Remus reflected on her words. He knew that people often received gifts when they moved into a new house, and that it wasn't unusual for friends to have friends over for meals. Even so, this was something he had never really experienced. Aside from Dana and Olivia, he didn't know anyone to invite him over for dinner, or to bring him gifts. And the three of them had been friends for so long, the formalities were long-since forgotten. Even when they had first graduated from Hogwarts, things had always been different among their group. They were, and always had been, more like family than anything else.

He had never had a friend like Molly. He wondered if she would ever know exactly how much her kindness meant to him.

_scene break_

When patrolling Muggle London, Ministry Aurors always dressed as Muggles. Today, Olivia was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a polo shirt. Tonks sported flared jeans and a t-shirt. Both girls had their wands tucked inside the jackets they wore.

"Tonks, can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure," Tonks replied. She smiled a small smile. "But, remember, just because you ask doesn't mean I'll agree."

Olivia laughed. "Noted."

"Okay, let's hear it."

"Right." Olivia paused and tried to organize her thoughts. "You remember Dana and Laura, right?"

"Of course," Tonks nodded. "How's their new house?"

"Oh, they love the house. That's not the problem."

"There's a problem?"

"Yes. Laura's boyfriend came to visit a few days ago."

Tonks grinned. "Mum hates him, doesn't she?"

"She would hate anyone who dated her daughter," Olivia laughed. "That's just a given. The problem is, she walked in on them snogging on Laura's bed."

Tonks laughed for the first time that day. "That must have been completely humiliating for all involved parties!"

"Yeah, it was," Olivia replied. "And now, Dana is completely convinced that Laura is shagging Pierre."

"Why doesn't she just ask her?"

"Would you tell your mother who you're sleeping with?"

"Fair point."

"This is the favor part … would you talk to Laura?"

"You want me to find out if she's shagging her boyfriend?"

"If you would. I know it's awkward and awful of me to ask, but Dana is really completely a wreck over this, and this was the only way I could think of to help her. If I tried to talk to Laura, she'd know I was a spy for her mother. I'd never get any information out of her. And Remus … well, no fifteen-year-old girl is confessing the secrets of her love life to the man she's always known as a father figure."

"Right," Tonks agreed. She looked thoughtful. "She just wants to know about Laura's physical relationship with her boyfriend?"

"Well, pretty much."

"There's more?"

"Not that I know of right now."

Tonks bit her lip. "Doesn't this seem a bit underhanded to you?"

"Yes," Olivia said without hesitation. "It's terribly underhanded. But, unfortunately, Dana and Laura have a rather rocky relationship right now. I know she should probably try to work though it, but she's in full panic mode. She doesn't know what to do, and she's not going to be happy until she knows what's going on with Laura. And, to be honest, Laura probably needs a confidante. All her friends are still in France, and I don't know how much they write to one another. I don't think it's going to hurt anyone for you to talk to her."

Tonks nodded slowly. "I'll do it," she said. "I don't think it will be _too_ awkward. Unlike you, I haven't known her since birth, so she probably won't look at me as 'Mum's friend.'" She bit her lip. "There's just one thing, Liv …"

"What?"

"You said that you want to do this to put Dana's mind to rest, right? To convince her that Laura's not the promiscuous little girl she fears she might be?"

"Right."

"Well … what if she tells me that she _is_ sleeping with him? What then?"

Olivia smiled. "Then I want to be there when you tell Dana. I want to see if her head will actually explode."

"I'm being serious!" Tonks exclaimed.

Olivia sighed. "We'll deal with that when it happens. For now, focus on getting Laura to spill all her secrets."

Tonks nodded. "I'll figure out when I can see her, and send her an owl."

Olivia nodded. "Thanks, Tonks. It really means a lot that you're doing this."

"I'm glad I can help."

_scene break_

Kingsley laughed at a humorous story in his magazine and flipped the page. He hated to admit it, but he had become completely addicted to Muggle magazines. He blamed Jean, the secretary he had saved from the "rabid owl" early in his career with the Prime Minister. She adored the magazines, particularly the ones featuring celebrity gossip, and always brought them to work. Kingsley now found himself seeking them out on his own and reading them during his free time.

He turned another page to see a group of people dancing the "Macarena." He was sure the picture would have had more impact in a wizarding magazine – he would have been able to see the actual dance, rather than this shot of one motion.

"I need to learn that dance," he muttered to himself. "I'll see if Tonks will teach me. She has to know it by now."

He sighed as he thought of Tonks. He wondered if she did know the dance – or even that the Spanish flamenco group had finally managed to find a hit song with the "Macarena." Ever since Remus had walked out of her life, she had become a shell of her former self.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He put the magazine on the coffee table, and went to answer the door.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"Andromeda Tonks."

Surprised, Kingsley opened the door. "Hi, Andromeda. How are you?"

"Fine, Kingsley," she smiled as she stepped in. "You?"

"Never better."

"Have you seen Nymphadora?" she asked without preamble.

"No," he frowned. "Is she missing?"

"No," she said slowly. "I just thought I might find her with you."

At first, Andromeda seemed to merely be on the hunt for her daughter. Once seated at the table with butterbeers, however, the real reason for Andromeda's visit came out.

"Kingsley, I'm worried about Dora."

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. The nickname was enough to show exactly how concerned Andromeda was. She always refused to call her daughter by anything but her full name – with the exception of times of great stress or sorrow.

"Have you seen her recently?" she asked, taking his expression for confusion.

"Yes," Kingsley admitted, putting his drink on the table.

"She looks a wreck!" Andromeda exclaimed. "I don't mean her natural appearance, of course. I've always thought she looks the most beautiful when she doesn't alter anything. It's the circles under her eyes, the paleness of her face, the sorrow in her very soul – they terrify me." She looked down then up again. "My daughter is falling apart, and I don't even know why. I don't know what's happened to tear her up like this. And, if I don't know what's broken, how will I know what to fix?"

Kingsley sighed. "I don't know how much I can tell you without breaking confidence," he said slowly.

"I don't want you to break your word to her," she said quickly. "I would never ask that."

He nodded and thought for a moment. "She's had her heart broken," he said at last.

Andromeda's eyes opened wide. "I didn't even know she was dating anyone."

"Well … it was a complicated situation."

She frowned. "Okay," she said slowly. "You've talked to her about it, haven't you?"

"Of course."

"Is she dealing with it all right?"

Kingsley smiled sadly. "You've seen her. What do you think?"

Sorrow filled Andromeda's eyes. "My poor baby."

"I think she'll be all right in the end," Kingsley said slowly. "She's not one to sink completely under something like this."

"Have you tried to help her? To cheer her up? To make her all right again?"

"I've tried, but, Andromeda, right now, I just don't have the power to do any of that."

She sighed and bit her lip. "Has she seen Remus recently?"

"I – I don't think so."

"Maybe he could talk to her," she mused. "Sirius really brought those two together. They've become great friends. I know she just loves him."

Kingsley remained silent, not sure what to say to that.

Andromeda looked at him closely for a moment, her eyes widening. "Kingsley … did something happen between Nymphadora and Remus?"

"I really can't tell you anything other than what I already have," he said. "You'd do better to talk to her yourself."

"I'd love to," she said simply. "I just have no idea where to find her. If you see her, could you please tell her that I'm looking for her?"

"Of course."

Relief passed over her eyes. "Thank you."

_scene break_

Olivia walked into her flat after work to the delicious aroma of dinner. She smiled as she entered the kitchen, where Remus was setting the table.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he replied, looking up with a smile. "I didn't hear you come in."

"What are you making us for dinner?"

"The better question would be: What did Molly Weasley make us for dinner?"

"She's here?" she asked in confusion.

Remus shook his head. "She came over this morning with this stew. It's our housewarming gift."

"Oh, that's so sweet!" Olivia exclaimed. "She didn't have to do that!"

Remus smiled. "I know. She's the best. Oh, and she invited us over for lunch the day after tomorrow."

Olivia's face lit up then fell. "I can't go. I promised Stephanie that I'd have lunch with her that day."

"I'm sure Molly will understand."

She nodded. "Normally, I'd ask Steph to reschedule, but I really want to talk to her."

"Oh?"

"I want to know how the other Aurors feel about John," she said. "Because, personally, I haven't been impressed. I'm sure the others feel the same way I do, but, obviously, no one's going to say anything to me."

"And you think that Stephanie will?"

"Of course." She tested the stew, then carried it to the table. "Oh, and Tonks agreed to talk to Laura."

Remus's head snapped up. "She did?"

"Yes. She was a bit concerned about the underhandedness of the whole thing, but I managed to convince her that it would be fine."

"When is she talking to her?"

"She didn't give me a definite day. She just said that she'd contact Laura."

_scene break_

_Laura,_

_I know it's been awhile since the last time I saw you, but I haven't forgotten our shared love of the Weird Sisters. I'd love for you to come over for a bit to listen to their newest album and see my new place. What do you say? Can you make it on Saturday afternoon?_

_Please let me know if you can come. I can't wait to see you!_

Tonks 

"Mum!"

"What?" Dana exclaimed, emerging from the kitchen to see her daughter running toward her, waving a piece of parchment.

"Can I go to Tonks's house on Saturday?"

"Tonks's house on Saturday?" Dana repeated, her initial confusion at the question giving way to understanding.

"Yeah. Do you remember Uncle Remus's friend, Tonks? We met her the night we got here. She had the cool shirt on."

"Yes, I know who she is," Dana smiled. "Sirius's cousin."

"Right. Well, she invited me over on Saturday. Can I go?"

"Sure," Dana smiled.

"Thanks!" Laura exclaimed, giving Dana a smile – a rare occurrence since Pierre's fateful visit.

"You're welcome."

Laura skipped out of the room to choose the perfect robes to wear for her Saturday visit. Once she was gone, Dana breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, perhaps she could learn the truth about what was going on in her daughter's life.

She just hoped that the truth was what she wanted it to be.


	36. Friendship

A/N: I'm back from the dead! I'm so sorry that I've taken so long with this chapter. Truly, this school year is busier and more stressful than the past few. Aside from that, I've been horribly busy helping my friend get ready for her wedding. Hopefully, I've adjusted to my new, hectic schedule, and I'll be able to update more frequently.

This chapter was also very hard for me to write. It's not that it was emotionally close to home, per se, it's just that it was tough to get it the way I wanted it. I hope that it's worth the ridiculously long wait. If not … well, I think the upcoming chapters are even more exciting than this one!

Thanks again for your patience, and for reading and reviewing!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Friendship

On the appointed day, Remus went to the Weasleys' for lunch. He rang the bell, hoping that he wasn't too early. He didn't want to impose upon his hosts.

He shouldn't have worried. Molly smiled warmly as she opened the door, clearly pleased to see him. Her eyebrows rose in surprise, however, when she realized that he was standing on her doorstep by himself.

"Hello, Remus," she said, hugging him as she admitted him to the house. "Where's Olivia?"

"She had already made plans to have lunch with a friend from work," Remus replied. He smiled. "It seems rather quiet in here."

"That would be because the children are all outside playing Quidditch. I was just going to call them for lunch."

"I'll get them," he volunteered.

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. I hardly ever get to see them."

Molly nodded her agreement, and Remus went to call the two youngest Weasleys, Harry and Hermione for the meal.

He stepped out into the back yard, and looked up to see four broomsticks in motion. He raised his hand to shield his eyes from the weak sun, watching as Harry threw the Quaffle to Hermione. She caught it rather awkwardly and began flying toward the goal.

"Look out, Hermione!" Harry yelled.

Hermione turned to see Ginny barreling toward her at top speed. She squealed in surprise and dropped the Quaffle. Harry and Ron both took off after it, trying to catch it before it hit the ground.

"Hi, everyone," Remus called.

Their shouts at one another turned to greetings to Remus. All four teenagers flew toward him and landed their brooms. Ginny gave Hermione a teasing grin.

"I'll bet you're glad to see Professor Lupin," she said. "He saved you from complete humiliation after you dropped the Quaffle."

"I would have saved her anyway," Harry said loyally. "I was about to catch it."

"Ha!" Ron said. "You would have come up with a fistful of grass. That Quaffle was mine."

"You wish," Harry replied. "Who's the Seeker in this group?"

"You wait and see … after lunch …"

"Hi, Professor Lupin," Hermione said loudly.

"Hi, Hermione," Remus replied. He was grateful for her interruption. The exchange between Ron and Harry had left him in an ocean of bittersweet memories of Sirius and James. The way they teased one another, the way they battled for recognition, the way they were almost as brothers … Had it not been for Hermione, Remus was sure that he would have been caught somewhere between laughing and crying.

"Hi, Professor," Ginny and the boys said as one.

He grinned at them. "Enjoying your summer?"

"It's been great," Harry said enthusiastically. "Best summer ever."

"It's a little early to say that, isn't it?" Remus grinned. "You've only had about a month off. We haven't even hit your birthday yet!"

"Oh, yeah, Mum's doing something special for that," Ron said. "You'll come for the party, won't you, Professor?"

"Yes, please?" Harry asked. "I've never really had a birthday party before …"

Remus smiled sadly, thinking of Harry's first birthday and the elaborate party his grandmother had thrown him. "I'd love to come," he said.

"Excellent!" Harry exclaimed, his face lighting up with a smile. "Thanks, Professor."

Watching him grin like that made Remus's heart constrict. He realized that this was the first time he had seen a grin light up Harry's features quite like that; he was surprised to see Lily's smile spread across his face. While he normally smiled just like James had, his "excited smile" was a copy of his mother's.

"I can't wait," he said sincerely. He cleared his throat. "We'd better get inside. I was sent out here to call you for lunch."

The teenagers began chattering excitedly again as they made their way inside. Remus remained quiet, observing their interactions.

"There you are!" Molly smiled as they entered. "Wash your hands, everyone, and sit down for lunch."

"Hey, Mum, Professor Lupin said he'd come for Harry's birthday party," Ron called as he wound up a towel to snap at his sister.

"Oh, good," Molly said warmly. "I was going to ask you about it today, Remus."

"Ron beat you to it," he said. "I'll certainly be here."

"I'm so glad," Molly smiled. She lowered her voice. "I know it will mean so much to Harry to have you at his party."

"It means a lot to me, too," Remus replied, wishing for the thousandth time that he had been a part of Harry's life for all sixteen years of it, rather than only a few.

Molly looked back at the teenagers in time to see Ron and Ginny abandon the towels they had been battling with and start kicking each other. "Ronald! Ginevra!" she yelled. "Sit down _now_!"

Giving each other dirty looks, Ron and Ginny took their seats with Harry and Hermione. Remus had to hide his smile, knowing that Molly wouldn't appreciate the fact that he was amused by her children's behavior.

Ron and Ginny calmed down almost immediately, and the meal passed without incident. Remus loved being there and having the chance to spend time with Harry and his friends. He knew that his opportunities to do so would be severely limited once the teenagers were back at Hogwarts.

After lunch, the teenagers went back outside to finish their Quidditch match. Remus helped Molly clean up.

"Have you seen Tonks recently?" Molly asked nonchalantly as they finished putting the dishes away.

"No," Remus said. "You know how I feel about that, Molly. Spending time together doesn't do either of us any good. All it's done is to set us up for the pain that we're going through now."

She frowned. "I still don't see why you think you have to put yourself through this pain and heartache. If you care about her – and I _know_ that she cares about you – why not just be together?"

"She deserves more," he said simply. "I want her to be free to find the man she was destined to be with forever."

"And if that man is you?" Molly asked quietly.

Remus smiled sadly. "That isn't possible."

"Remus, I –"

"Molly, please," Remus said, holding up his hand to stop her. "Can't we talk about something else? Please?"

She gave him a look that promised that she wasn't through with him. "All right. Choose a new topic."

"Tell me about what you have planned for Harry's birthday."

Molly's eyes lip up as she launched into a detailed description of her plans. She was talking about the food that she would serve when a knock sounded on the door. She looked at Remus in surprise.

"Did Olivia plan to come over when she was through with lunch with her friend?"

"She didn't say anything to me about it," he replied.

Molly stood to answer the door, leaving Remus in the sitting room. When she came back, it was not Olivia walking a step behind her, but rather Tonks. Remus felt the blood drain from his face then return in full force as he looked at her.

"Remus," Tonks breathed.

"Tonks," he said in a choked voice. "Hi."

He was amazed that he managed to get that much out. He was completely shocked by her appearance. Molly had told him that she was taking their separation hard, but he had never dreamed that it would impact her to the point that she would lose interest in changing her appearance, or even, so it would seem, sleeping and eating. Dark circles surrounded her eyes, and her robes hung loosely on her thinner-than-usual frame.

"How are you?" he asked gently.

"All right," she said, giving him a sad smile. "You?"

"Oh, I'm … are you sure you're all right?"

She smiled sadly again, her broken heart clearly visible in her eyes. "I'm fine, Remus. You don't need to worry about me."

"I don't know about that," he said quietly, looking deeply into her eyes. He cleared his throat. "How are things at work?"

"Fine," she said again. "I'll have the other Aurors at Hogwarts with me soon enough."

Remus nodded, casting around for another safe topic of conversation. Fortunately, Molly saved him.

"Tonks, dear, are you hungry? We've only just finished lunch, and there's plenty of food left."

Tonks smiled weakly. "Just something small, please, Molly."

"All right, dear. You sit down while I find you something."

Tonks obediently took a seat at the table. Remus felt awkward standing while she sat alone; he sat down across from her. He watched her for a moment as she looked down at her hands. He felt an incredible guilt overtake him as he realized that _he_ had forced this vibrant, energetic woman to become this pale shadow of her former self. He had to say something, to let her know … something.

"Tonks," he began.

"Yes?"

He sighed as he looked into her lost, haunted eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" she frowned. "Why?"

"Well … for everything I've put you through."

Tears gathered in her eyes. "Why should you apologize for your feelings?" she whispered. "It's my own fault that I'm letting it affect me like it has. It's my own fault for caring too much."

Remus couldn't stand the sight of her tears. He abruptly stood to his feet. "I should be going."

"Don't leave on my account," Tonks said, blinking in an effort to clear her swimming eyes. "Stay and spend some time with Molly and the kids."

"No, that's okay … I need to …." He couldn't finish the statement. There was no reason, aside from his jumbled emotions, for him to leave. But, it was reason enough.

He quickly left the kitchen, and went to find Molly in the pantry to say goodbye. He barely heard her as she tried to convince him to stay. Any pleas that she made were useless. He had to leave. He had to get out.

* * *

"Liv! Over here!"

Olivia smiled as she spotted Stephanie sitting by herself on the outdoor patio at their favorite Muggle restaurant. They always ate there because they felt that it gave them the freedom to discuss anything that came to mind. There was never a need to censor themselves out of fear of revealing some departmental secret to the entire wizarding world. If a Muggle overheard something, he or she would only think that the two women were out of their minds or, at the very least, made no sense.

"Hi," Olivia smiled as she sat down. "How are you?"

Stephanie returned the smile. "Great. You?"

"Never better."

They looked at one another and laughed.

"I already ordered us our usual drinks," Stephanie said. "God, Liv, I'm so glad you're back in the area. I think that I missed our lunches more than anything."

Olivia smiled. "Me, too."

Their waitress appeared to deliver their drinks and to take their orders. Once she had gone, Stephanie rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward.

"So, tell me. Now that you've been back for awhile, are you glad you came?"

"Yes, of course," Olivia replied without hesitation. "Only..."

"Only what?"

"Work is …"

"Just say it."

"I'm not pleased with some things that are happening."

"Like what?"

Olivia sighed. "Steph, be honest. Are you happy with the way John is running the department?"

Stephanie bit her lip. "Total honesty?"

"Please."

"I think he's running it into the ground."

Olivia exhaled. "That's what I was afraid of."

"I didn't mean to offend you!" Stephanie exclaimed. "I just … well, you said you wanted an honest opinion –"

"No, you said exactly what I think," Olivia said. "I thought that maybe it was just me. I mean, I've been gone for a long time, and I've gotten used to a different way of doing things. I thought that it was just that John isn't Moody, and that I had forgotten how to work without him."

Stephanie shook her head. "No, John is very different from any Head I've ever worked for. He's … I think that he's too distant."

"Yeah, I can see that," Olivia said, thinking of the way he acted as though he barely knew her at work.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that he doesn't seem to care about his Aurors. I'm not suggesting that he needs to attend everyone's birthday parties, but at least making sure that he knows us as people, that he knows our personalities and preferences, would be nice."

Olivia nodded slowly. "You're thinking about the way he split up the teams."

"Yes, for one," she agreed. "But, I also don't like the way he reassigned us all. Like I told you before, I was very good at interrogation. I'm not so good at all the research I have to do now. I can understand that John wanted to shake things up. Like he said himself, You-Know-Who came back when we were running under the old system. Obviously, something had to change. But, why not talk to the Aurors first? Really find out what we're good at, what we're comfortable with and what we might like to try. The way that he did it makes it feel very random."

Olivia nodded again. "Do the others feel the way you do?"

"Most do," she admitted. "Liv, you're sure you don't mind hearing this?"

Olivia smiled sadly. "It's what I've thought ever since I came back. I just needed to know that I wasn't the only one who felt this way."

"Are you …" Stephanie trailed off.

"Am I what?"

She drew a deep breath. "Do you intend to go to John with this information?"

"I would _never_ do anything to get you in trouble," Olivia said without hesitation, shocked that her friend would think that she would do such a thing. "I didn't ask for your opinions so that I could get you fired, Steph!"

"No, that wasn't what I meant," Stephanie said quickly. "I know you better than that, Liv. Trust, remember? We've had it since training. I meant …" She bit her lip. "Are you planning to make some suggestions to John as to how he could improve things?" She smiled apologetically. "Will you let me use our friendship to push my agenda?"

"What exactly is your agenda?"

She sighed. "Anything that will fix the horrible mess that is our department."

"Well, you're in luck," Olivia said. "That's my agenda, too."

* * *

Remus was already home and sitting on the couch when Olivia walked through the front door. She looked at him in surprise.

"I didn't expect you to be back so soon," she smiled. "I thought you wanted to spend more time with Harry."

"I'll see him for his birthday," Remus said dismissively. "Liv – why didn't you tell me what a wreck Tonks is?"

Olivia slowly sat down next to him. "She was at the Weasleys'?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "She – Liv, she looks awful. I've never seen her so pale or so thin. Does she sleep at all anymore?"

"I don't know," Olivia said honestly. "You're right, Remus. She looks horrible. She's been pretty upset."

"This is all my fault," Remus moaned, burying his face in his hands.

"You can end it, you know," Olivia said. "It doesn't have to be this way. You could go to her and make everything right."

He shook his head. "This will be better for her in the long run."

"Remus, we've been over and over this," Olivia sighed. "I refuse to have the same conversation with you again."

"Fine," Remus said testily. "How was lunch with Stephanie?"

Olivia gave him a sarcastic smile. "Oh, great. There's nothing I love more than having my worst fears confirmed." She sighed. "She agrees with me about John ruining the department – and said that the majority of our coworkers do, as well."

"What are you going to do, now that you know?"

She shrugged. "What _can_ I do? I can't go to John. It would destroy him to know that his Aurors feel like this about him."

"But wouldn't he want to know the truth? That way he can fix what he's doing wrong."

Olivia laughed shortly. "You know that I love my brother. I think that he's a great guy. But, he's never wrong."

"Aren't you over that whole 'older brother as demigod' thing?"

"Please," she laughed. "I was over that by the time I was ten. But, in his own mind, John is always right. He has a lot of problems admitting that he made a mistake. "Don't you remember what happened when I was dating Sirius? It took John forever to admit that he wasn't a horrible person."

"True."

She sighed and shook her head. "I can't tell him about this. It would just kill him."

"All right," Remus said. "But if that's how you feel, we're going to have to drop that one like the Tonks conversation."

Olivia laughed. "Deal."

* * *

Tonks cocked her head to the side to look critically at her kitchen table. She shook her head, and rearranged the bright flowers she had placed in a vase for a centerpiece.

"There," she smiled to herself. "Perfect."

A knock sounded on the door, and her smile widened. "Perfect timing!"

She grabbed her wand as a precaution as she made her way through her flat. She put one hand on the doorknob, clutching her wand with the other.

"Who's there?"

"Dana and Laura."

Smiling as widely as she had in recent days, she opened the door. "Hi, ladies."

"Hi, Tonks!" Laura said, giving her a beaming smile. "Thanks so much for inviting me over."

"You're welcome," Tonks smiled. "I'm so excited that you could come."

"Well, I have some shopping to do while I'm in Hogsmeade," Dana said. "Shall I come back to pick you up in a few hours, Laura?"

"You don't have to do that," Tonks said. "I'll bring her home."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. That way you don't have to waste your whole day waiting for us. Once we get started on my Weird Sisters collection, there's no telling how long this visit could take."

Dana smiled. "Thanks, Tonks. I'll see you both later tonight, then."

"Bye, Dana."

"Bye, Mum!"

"Are you hungry?" Tonks asked as the door closed behind Dana. "I thought we could start with some lunch."

"Yeah, that would be great," Laura grinned.

"Good," Tonks smiled, leading the way into the kitchen. She waved her wand to play an old Weird Sisters album. "I thought we could start with some of the older music."

"Great," Laura said again.

"I'm not a very good cook," Tonks said as they sat down at the table, "so, I got us some Chinese for lunch. Is that okay?"

"I love Chinese," Laura grinned.

"You're easy to please," Tonks said, serving the food onto their plates.

Laura giggled. "You should talk to my mum. She'd tell you how picky I can be."

"Mums are good at that," Tonks grinned.

"Does your mum think you're too picky?"

"Not about food," Tonks said. "But, believe me, she gets on my case about other things."

Laura wrinkled up her nose. "I thought she would start to leave me alone when I got older."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but no," Tonks smiled. "There's pretty much no escaping her interference. Well, unless you do like my mum and disown your family. But, honestly, I wouldn't recommend that course of action."

"I don't want to disown my family," Laura said. "I just wish that my mum would let me think for myself."

"She doesn't let you think for yourself?"

"It's more that I think she doesn't trust me."

Tonks's eyebrows shot up. "That's pretty serious, Laura. What do you mean?"

"I feel like she … I don't know. It's tough to explain. It's almost as if she won't let me walk through the house alone."

"Well, I don't think that's because of anything you've done," Tonks said. "Things are pretty dangerous here now with the Death Eater attacks that have been going on recently. Everyone's a little more cautious than they usually are."

"It's more than that," Laura said with a shake of her head. "You don't know what happened."

"Will you tell me?"

She flushed slightly. "Did Mum or Aunt Olivia or Uncle Remus tell you that I have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, I knew that," Tonks said.

"Well, Mum let him come to visit me," she said. "He stayed with us for a few days. Everything went great for awhile, then, on the second to last day …"

"What happened?"

Her blush deepened. "Mum caught us snogging on my bed."

"Oh, no," Tonks exclaimed, covering her eyes with her hands. "What did she say?"

"It wasn't pretty," Laura said grimly. "I was actually _glad_ that he was leaving the next day."

"How did things go until then?" Tonks asked. "Did your mum like him?"

Laura shrugged. "I suppose. I don't really think she'd go for any boyfriend I had." She rolled her eyes. "She doesn't think I'm old enough to date."

"Yeah, my mum was like that for a long time, too," Tonks said. "Then, one day, she decided that I should be married. There's just no pleasing the woman." She paused. "Really, it's great that she let him stay at all. My mum wouldn't let my boyfriend come to visit when I was your age."

"You had a boyfriend when you were my age?"

"What year are you?"

"I'll be in fifth year."

"I guess I was a little older, then," Tonks admitted. "I was in fifth year when I started dating Charlie."

"Are you still dating him?" she asked.

"No," Tonks said with a slight smile. "We broke up after graduation."

"Why?"

"He was moving to Romania and I was staying here," she said. "Neither of us was willing to give up our dream. So, we decided to go our separate ways. We're still friends, though, even if we don't see one another all that often."

"Did your mum ever catch you snogging him?"

She laughed. "No. I can't even imagine how you must have felt."

"It was awful," Laura affirmed.

"I'm sure your mum was pretty horrified, too."

"Yeah, she was. I think she thought … I probably don't want to think about it."

"There's a big difference between snogging a boy and shagging him," Tonks said.

Laura blushed again. "I'm not sure that she sees it that way, based on her reaction to seeing us snogging."

"She must," Tonks said. She rolled her eyes. "I mean, really. Why on earth would you sleep with him in your mother's house?"

Laura's face was flaming red. "I've never slept with him anywhere," she said quietly.

"Good for you," Tonks said quickly. "I hadn't shagged anyone when I was fifteen, either. Well, I guess you knew that, since I just said I didn't even have a boyfriend until I was in fifth year."

"How old were you the first time you slept with a boy?" Laura asked quietly.

"Seventeen," Tonks said. "But, honestly, Laura, I think I was too young."

She looked at Tonks with wide eyes. "But seventeen is so old!"

"Hey!" Tonks exclaimed. "I'm definitely older than seventeen! Don't say that it's old!"

Laura laughed. "That's not what I meant. I just meant … well, plenty of kids my age have already shagged someone. Sometimes I feel like I'm behind because I haven't. Like maybe I should shag Pierre just so that I can get it over with."

"Laura, that is the worst possible reason for having sex with him."

"I suppose so," she said noncommittally.

"What does your mum think?" she asked, trying to buy herself a bit of time.

"That I should wait for marriage," Laura said in a tone that indicated that she had heard that advice more than once. "That's what she and my dad did."

"But you don't agree?"

"No one waits for marriage anymore," Laura said evenly. She looked directly into Tonks's eyes, letting her bare soul show. "Sometimes I think that shagging him just so that I can say I have _is_ the right reason."

Tonks bit her lip, knowing that it was up to her to help this girl through this very major decision. She certainly wasn't a counselor, but hoped that her own personal experience would suffice. "Can I tell you why I think seventeen was too young?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "Charlie and I had been dating for two years before we made love for the first time. It was the first time for both of us, and we were both nervous wrecks. Obviously, it gets easier with time, but … Laura, the important thing wasn't that we did it, but _why_ we did it. You need to understand that I really, truly loved him. I was completely convinced that we would get married. Had it not been for our jobs, I'm sure we would be married now. It just didn't work out."

"So why do you regret it, then? Because you didn't get married?"

"Well, yes, there's that," Tonks said slowly. "But …"

"Tell me. Please."

Tonks took a deep breath. Very few people knew about this most terrifying time of her life. "We had been shagging for about a month when I thought that I was pregnant."

Laura's eyes widened. "Were you?"

"No," Tonks said. "But my period was late by a couple weeks. So, for two weeks, I was completely convinced that I was going to be a mum."

"Why was it late?"

She shrugged. "I still don't know. But it was the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to me."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Charlie and one of my friends," she said. "Charlie was just as scared as I was. We couldn't even look at each other for two days after I told him."

"But it was fine in the end," Laura said.

"Yes," Tonks agreed, "it was. But, every time I was even a day late after that, I panicked. Every time my stomach hurt, I'd start to think that I had morning sickness. I spent far too much time paranoid that I was pregnant."

"But what does being seventeen have to do with that?"

Tonks smiled. "Oh, I can be paranoid at any age. That's not what I was getting at. It's the fact that if I had been pregnant, I wouldn't have been able to start Auror training. They won't even let pregnant Aurors do any fieldwork; obviously, they won't accept pregnant trainees. My entire career would have ended before it started."

"I probably wouldn't want to have a baby so soon, either," Laura acknowledged.

Tonks nodded. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't make love to him if you really love him," she said. "You're right; not everyone waits for marriage anymore. Plenty of people still do, though. There's no real right or wrong answer. You have to do what's right for you. If that means waiting for marriage, then wait. If it means shagging Pierre the day you get back to Beauxbatons, do it. I can tell you all the stories in the world about my past, but I can't tell you what to do. You have to decide what's right for yourself.

"But, remember, Laura that it's more than the act. There are a lot of consequences that come with sex. There's enough going on in your life right now without worrying about having a baby."

Laura nodded seriously. "I know."

"And, Laura, if you don't love him, don't shag him. There's a reason that one of its many names is 'making love.' Love is the only reason that you should do it."

Laura smiled. "I get your point."

Tonks smiled and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "I know that you have a mum, but I also know that this sort of stuff can be impossible to talk to her about. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I know that I'm probably not as easy to talk to as your friends, but I have been there, and I know what you're going through. I'm not always full of advice or stories, but I'll listen and try to help you."

"Thanks, Tonks," Laura said sincerely. "That's really great. It means a lot to me." She smiled and flushed slightly. "I always wanted to have a sister."

"So have I," Tonks smiled. "Can we stand in as family for one another?"

"I'd like that," Laura grinned.

"Good," Tonks smiled. She was fairly certain that they had both hit their limits for serious discussion, and tried to move them to lighter conversational territory. "Now, little sis, pass me a fortune cookie."

Laura handed her one and picked another cookie up for herself, cracking it open and extracting her fortune. "'Trials come before happiness,'" she read. "Sounds a bit depressing, doesn't it?"

"A bit," Tonks agreed. "At least you have the happiness to look forward to."

"What does yours say?"

Tonks cracked open her own cookie and pulled out the small slip of paper. "'A change of heart will change your life.'"

Laura frowned. "Whose heart will change? Yours or someone else's?"

Tonks smiled sadly. "Hopefully, someone else's."


	37. Exposed

A/N: Okay, I think I've got my schedule all figured out, and I think that I'll be able to update on Sundays from now on. No definite promises, but I will make every effort to post a new chapter by Sunday every week.

I want to thank you for your reviews on the last chapter. I was pretty worried about writing the scene with Tonks and Laura, but I was pleased with how it turned out. I'm glad that you liked it, too.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I hope you like this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Exposed

"Hello!" Dana said cheerfully as Tonks and Laura Flooed into her living room. "How was your day?"

"So much fun," Laura said, giving Tonks a wide grin. "Tonks is great, Mum. I'm so glad that Uncle Remus introduced us to her."

"So am I," Dana smiled. "You've had an owl, Laura. I put the letter on your desk."

Laura gave a squeal of excitement. "I hope it's from Pierre!" she yelled as she ran out of the room and up the stairs.

Dana gave Tonks an apologetic smile. "She tends to forget her manners when she hears from him."

"Don't worry about it," Tonks replied. "I remember how I was at that age."

"How did your afternoon go?" Dana asked delicately.

Tonks smiled. "Great. You have a fantastic daughter."

Dana smiled. "I think she's pretty special."

"She is," Tonks affirmed. "And," she added, knowing that this was what Dana wanted to hear, "she's still quite innocent."

"You mean she hasn't –?"

"No," Tonks said quickly.

"Oh, thank goodness," Dana said, expelling all the air in her lungs.

"I'm not entirely sure she'll ever talk to you about anything like that, though," Tonks cautioned.

Dana smiled. "That doesn't surprise me. I never talked about anything like that with my mother, either. Still haven't, truth be told."

"Neither have I," Tonks chuckled. "Nor will I."

"There are some conversations that are better left to others," Dana acknowledged.

"Yeah," Tonks said quietly. "Listen, Dana, I hope you don't think that I'm being forward, but I told Laura that she can talk to me about … well, anything. I know how hard it is to talk to your mother about sex, but I also know how valuable the advice and experience of an adult can be. I want to be able to help her if I can. I basically offered to stand in as her big sister."

"That is so sweet of you," Dana said, her eyes open wide. "You really didn't need to do that, Tonks."

"I know," Tonks replied. "But, like I said, she's a fantastic kid. I'd love to be able to spend more time with her, as long as you're okay with it."

"Okay with it?" Dana asked, obviously still shocked by Tonks's generosity. "Tonks, that is the nicest thing you could have done. Laura loves you; I know that having you to confide in will mean the world to her. And I love the idea of you advising her." She smiled. "I can understand why Remus thinks so highly of you."

Tonks's smile faded at the mention of his name. Unable to think of a reply, she remained silent, willing the tears not to surface.

The awkward moment was broken by a vibrating noise. Dana raised her eyebrows questioningly. Tonks laughed slightly.

"Summoning globe," she said, pulling the small sphere from her pocket. She read the message quickly, then put the globe back into her robes. "I need to go," she said. "I'm sorry to just run out like this."

"Don't worry about it," Dana said. "I'll tell Laura what happened."

"Thanks," Tonks said. "Tell her that I said good bye, and that I'll see her soon."

"No problem. Bye, Tonks. Thanks again."

"You're welcome," Tonks called over her shoulder as she walked outside to Disapparate.

* * *

Tonks Apparated into Kingsley's living room, where he was sitting on the couch flipping through a Muggle magazine. She was surprised to see him so at ease.

"You rang?" she asked.

He grinned and put his magazine down on the coffee table. "That was quicker than I had expected."

"Well, I didn't know what to expect from you. It was a rather cryptic message."

"I told you to come here as soon as you could. What's cryptic about that?"

"What _isn't_ cryptic about that?" Tonks replied, sitting down next to him. "I suppose you had a good reason for calling me over?"

"Of course."

"And that would be …?"

"Do you know how hard it is to find you?" Kingsley asked in reply.

Tonks gave him an odd look. "Not really. I've never tried to find me."

"Funny," he said, rolling his eyes. "I've been looking for you for the past three days."

"I've been busy."

"Right," he said, giving her a look that clearly indicated his disbelief. "Well, I'm not the only one who hasn't been able to find you."

"Really? Who else is looking for me?"

"Your mum."

"My mum?" she asked blankly. "How would you know about that?"

"She was here."

"She was here?" Tonks repeated in surprise.

"Yes. She was looking for you."

"Oh, man."

"She's worried about you, Tonks," Kingsley said gently. "She just wants to talk to you, to make sure that you're all right."

"Why does she think I'm not all right?"

He gave her a look of disbelief. "Tonks. You haven't been eating or sleeping. You're pale as a ghost, you've lost weight and you haven't changed your appearance in ages. It's fairly obvious to anyone who looks at you that you're upset. But, Andromeda isn't just anyone. She's your mother. To her, you're on the brink of suicide."

Tonks sighed, knowing that everything he had said was true. "What did you tell her about me?"

"I told her that your heart is broken."

Tonks ran her hands over her face. "God, King. Why would you tell her that?"

"Because it's true. Because she's your mother and she's terrified about you. She deserves to know what's going on in your life, Tonks."

"What did you tell her, King?" she asked in a dangerous voice.

"Just that you've had your heard broken," he repeated. "I wouldn't tell her anything else. She was shocked to hear just that much, given that you technically haven't dated anyone recently."

"Technically?" she repeated with a hollow laugh. "I haven't dated anyone recently. That's all you needed to say."

"What exactly were you and Remus, then?"

"Friends."

"With some pretty serious benefits."

"Not that serious," she said sadly. She sighed. "What else did my mum say?"

"She just asked if I had talked to you about what's going on. She also suggested that Remus talk to you, so I'm pretty sure that she hasn't guessed that there was anything other than friendship between the two of you."

Tears filled Tonks's eyes again. "God, King, when is this going to stop hurting?"

He looked at her with compassion and pulled her into a comforting embrace. "I don't know, love."

She buried her head in his shoulder. "I just want to be me again."

"You will be," Kingsley said gently. "Just give yourself some time."

She nodded against him. "I should go talk to my mum, huh?"

"Yes."

"All right." She pulled away from him, then leaned in to kiss his cheek. "You're the best friend I've ever had. You know that, right?"

He smiled and touched her cheek. "You're a great friend, too."

* * *

Knowing that waiting would only make it worse, Tonks went straight from Kingsley's flat to her parents' house. Her mother jumped up from the couch when Tonks Apparated into the living room.

"Dora!" she exclaimed, hugging her daughter close. "I've been so worried about you! I've been trying to find you for days!"

"I'm sorry, Mum," Tonks said. "I didn't mean to scare you. I've been busy with work."

Andromeda looked at her closely. "They're making you work too hard, Nymphadora. You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," she said, sitting down on the couch.

"Of course you are," Andromeda said, sitting down next to her. "Darling," she said slowly, "I talked to Kingsley."

"I know," she said. "He just told me that he had seen you."

"He said … Dora, he said that you've had some problems with …"

She sighed. "He told me what he told you."

Andromeda bit her lip. "Will you tell me what happened?"

"It was stupid," Tonks said, feeling the tears fill her eyes once again. "I had a crush on someone, but he told me that we can't be more than friends."

Andromeda frowned. "Are you sure that's all that happened?"

"Are you looking for a better story?"

"No, it's just …"

"Just what?"

"You've never been the sort of girl to be this devastated over something like a crush. Even when you were a teenager, you got over crushes quite easily."

"I guess this one was more than a crush, then."

Andromeda looked at her closely. "You're in love with this man, aren't you?"

"Yes," Tonks barely whispered.

"Who -?"

"Mum, please don't ask me," she begged.

Andromeda studied her for a moment, then her eyes widened. "It's Remus, isn't it?" she whispered.

As much as she didn't want her mother to know, she couldn't fight it. "Yes," she whispered.

"Oh, darling," Andromeda sighed, pulling her into a warm hug. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"What could I have said?" Tonks asked as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "I feel like such a fool, Mum. I let myself crush on this older man – Sirius's best friend, who has probably always thought of me as a little girl – for _months_, then find out that he doesn't want to be anything more than my friend. By the time he tells me that, I'm completely, stupidly, head over heels in love with him. So, now he's walked out of my life and I feel completely shattered."

Andromeda hugged her daughter to her, trying to comfort her without words. She didn't dare to speak what was in her heart: That, although he was considerably older, Remus was exactly the sort of man Andromeda would have chosen for her daughter.

Those were not the words Tonks needed to hear.

It was late when Tonks finally left her mother. She had cried out her pain and heartache, and received warm embraces and comforting words, along with no small amount of her favorite foods, to bring up her spirits.

And, somehow, miraculously, it had worked. Tonks left her mother's house feeling much better, and much more prepared to face what lay ahead:

Hogwarts.

* * *

One week to the day before classes began at Hogwarts, the Auror team arrived at Hogwarts. Tonks, who had been up since before dawn making sure she was ready for them, was a nervous wreck. She had barely slept a wink the night before, terrified over beginning her first turn as lead Auror. She hoped that she would do well – well enough to make Kingsley and Moody, the two men she considered her mentors above all others, proud of her.

She had elected to hold her first meeting with her team in the Great Hall. She knew that it, along with her common room and dormitory, was the room she best associated with her days as a student at Hogwarts. She wanted the Aurors to remember their own days as students, hoping that the memories would give them a true sense of what they were protecting. It was more than just a building full of people. It was a place that most within their world considered almost sacred.

Promptly at eight o'clock, the Aurors arrived. Olivia was the first one there, crossing the Great Hall to join her new leader. Tonks gave her a nervous smile.

"Hi," she said in greeting.

Olivia cheerfully returned the smile. "Hi," she said. "Am I the first one here?"

"Yes," Tonks said.

Olivia nodded and smiled again. "I'll have to tell Remus that this means I can sleep in ten more minutes."

Tonks frowned slightly, hoping that her face wasn't betraying the pain that was spreading through her. "What?"

"Oh, I wanted to get up later, but he insisted that I'd be late," Olivia laughed. "I mean, we live in Hogsmeade – it's not exactly like I'm commuting in from continental Europe!"

"Wait," Tonks said, hoping that her puzzled expression hid the dreams and hopes that were crashing all around her. "You live with Remus?"

"Yes," Olivia said, now frowning along with her. "We've lived together ever since we moved out of the Leaky Cauldron. I'm sorry … I thought you knew?"

"No," Tonks said, swallowing. They were _living together_? Remus had left her to move in with the woman he had always said was a best friend and nothing more? "I had no idea."

"Oh," Olivia said, blushing slightly. "Well, it's not a big deal, really. I mean, we're just flatmates. Neither of us wanted to live alone, we both wanted to save some money, we've been friends forever …" She trailed off and laughed. "Really, it's pretty much like living with my brother. Not that Remus ignores me the way my brother does …"

Tonks's expression changed to one of concern as she started to calm down. Roommates who were like siblings she could handle. All she wanted now was to move away from the subject of Remus and Olivia's living arrangements. "Is John still treating you like he doesn't know you?"

"Yes," Olivia said irritably. "I'm considering talking to my sister-in-law about it."

"You don't want to do that," Tonks said, thrilled that the conversation was leading away from Remus. "You don't want to cause problems between them."

Olivia sighed. "I know. And I know that I'll never talk to either of them about it. It just makes me feel better to think that I can."

Tonks giggled as more Aurors began to arrive. "Excuse me. I'd better go get things ready to go."

"Tonks," Olivia said, touching her arm, "you're going to do fine."

Tonks smiled, flushing slightly. "I hope so."

"I know you'll be brilliant at this," Olivia said. "You've learned from Moody. What better teacher could you have?"

Smiling fully for the first time in ages, Tonks moved away from Olivia and to the center of the group.

"If everyone could please have a seat, I'd like to begin," she said.

The Auror team chatted amicably as they chose seats at the table Tonks that had requested to be placed in the center of the room for their meeting. Dawlish gave her a grin as he sat down next to her.

"Can't we sit at our House tables, Tonks?"

She smiled. "No. We need to be united in this. As of today, we all have lost membership in our Houses. We're Aurors, not Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs or Slytherins."

"So, what are our House colors, then?" Proudfoot asked with a grin.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Can we just get started here?"

The conversations stopped at once. She surveyed the faces seated around the table, trying to decide if they would be able to work together to accomplish their goals.

Her team was small, consisting of only four other Aurors. She had rather hoped that John would send more; Hogwarts was a large school with extensive grounds. She hoped they would be able to be effective guardians.

"Right," she said as the chatter died down. "As you all know, we're here to provide extra security to Hogwarts and the surrounding area. You all are also aware that Harry Potter is one of the main reasons we are here. The Death Eaters have worked very hard to capture him in the past; there is no reason to believe that they will give up their campaign to attack him now. While the entire school, including the staff and student body, falls under our protection, we must be extremely vigilant when it comes to Harry. Dumbledore and the Minister have been very clear on that point.

"I have been asked to make Harry's protection my pet project. I am very willing to accept that mission; however, I can't work twenty-four hours a day. So, my plan for us is to work in shifts. No less than three Aurors will work the school and grounds at a time. Of those three, one will always be assigned to watch Harry Potter. You will do this while completely concealed. Dumbledore's main concern is that Harry be allowed to live his life as a normal Hogwarts student. To that end, we are not to function as his bodyguards. We are to work more as undercover agents.

"Harry's friends will be our secondary concern. Because of their association with him, they are also in great danger. Based on my past observations of Harry, I would guess that he is aware of this, and will be rather protective of them, too. I just ask that we make sure that we take good enough care of Harry, his friends and the other students and teachers that Harry doesn't feel like he needs to save any of them. He has an inherent need to help others; he will not stop to think before risking himself to save someone else. We need to make sure that he never finds himself in a position to risk his own safety."

"So, we're looking at Harry first, his friends second and everyone else third?" Dawlish asked.

Tonks grimaced. "I hate to think of it like that, but, yes."

Dawlish nodded. "Will you tell us who his friends are?"

"Yes," Tonks said, grabbing a stack of parchment and passing a packet to each Auror. "I've prepared dossiers on Harry, his closest friends and the classmates that he spends time with. I've also included information on his enemies."

"Enemies?" Proudfoot asked. "You mean, aside from You-Know-Who?"

Tonks nodded. "You were in school once. Did you get along with everyone?"

"Good point," Proudfoot grinned.

"You can look those over on your own time," she said. "Right now, I'd like to take you on a tour of the grounds. I know that you were all students here, but I've recently learned that there's more to this school than I ever knew."

As they all stood up from the table, Olivia grabbed Tonks's arm. Tonks looked at her questioningly.

"I need you to do something for me," Olivia said urgently.

"Sure," Tonks said, still frowning slightly.

"Don't tell Harry that I'm here."

"What?" Tonks asked in surprise.

"He doesn't know me," Olivia said. "We've never met, and he doesn't know anything about me … and I'd like to keep it that way."

"But you were his parents' best friend," Tonks said, still bewildered. "He doesn't remember them, and I know that any connection to his past is special to him. Think of how much he loved Sirius. Wouldn't you like to help him to get over Sirius's death? Wouldn't you like to be able to share some of his parents' lives with him?"

"Please, don't," Olivia said with a pained expression. "Remus and – and Sirius have spent hours trying to convince me to meet him. But, Tonks, I just can't do it. Please, don't make me. Just let me protect him from afar without him ever knowing that I'm here, or that I even exist."

"All right," Tonks agreed. "I don't know if it's the best idea, but …"

"Thank you," Olivia smiled. "This means a lot to me."

"Right," Tonks said quietly.

She wanted desperately to drive home the point that meeting Olivia would mean a lot to Harry, but refrained. If Sirius couldn't convince her to meet Harry, who could?

* * *

Olivia returned home at the end of her very busy day to find Remus making dinner. He smiled at her as she walked into the kitchen.

"How was your first day at Hogwarts?" he asked.

"I have a bone to pick with you," she said, rather than answering his question.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell Tonks that we're flatmates?"

Remus looked at her blankly. "Why does it matter?"

"Because I said something about it today and she was shocked!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Why does it matter?" Remus asked again. "She's not my … Liv, it's none of her business who I live with."

"Don't do that," Olivia said.

"Don't do what?"

"The way you said that, it makes it seem like we have something to hide. But, Remus, you know as well as I do that we're doing this as friends – as siblings, in a way."

"Liv, you know that I've never had romantic feelings for you. Tonks knows that, too," Remus said. "So, what difference does it make to her that we live together?"

"Because, Remus, I'm a woman," Olivia said impatiently. "She feels threatened by it!"

"Why should she?" Remus asked. "She and I … we're not together, and we never will be. She knows that I don't want to be in a relationship with _any_ woman, and she knows that you and I have been friends forever. Why would she feel threatened?"

Olivia sighed. "You really believe all that, don't you?"

"Yes," Remus said, looking at her in confusion.

"Okay," Olivia said slowly, sitting down at the table. "You told her that you don't want to date her, right?"

"Yes."

"Right. Well, until you marry someone else or she falls in love with someone else, she's always going to consider you a possibility."

"But, why?" Remus asked blankly.

"Because she's in love with you!" Olivia exclaimed. "You know how hard it is to give up on the person that you love!"

"Fair enough," Remus said, thinking of how miserable he had been when Laura had broken up with him during their seventh year at Hogwarts.

"Right," Olivia said again. "Well, you living with me … Tonks, even if she'll never admit it aloud, is afraid that you're living with me because we're romantically involved."

"But, we're not."

"I told her that," Olivia said. "I went on about how we've been friends forever and you're really more of a brother to me than anything else."

"She believed you, right?"

"I think she did in the end. Just … Remus, please be careful with her. She's still really hurting from everything that happened, and she's very fragile." She bit her lip. "Can't you please go talk to her? Offer her friendship again?"

He smiled one of the saddest smiles she had ever seen. "That's a brilliant idea. I'd love to be her friend. It's just … I don't think my heart can take that, Liv. I really don't."


	38. Missions

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay. My friend got married last weekend, so I was really busy with the wedding. As for the rest of the week … I've learned to hate meetings. So, I'm posting this a day before my Sunday deadline – can we call it a little early that way? Hopefully, I'll be able to update next Sunday as planned!

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Missions

He shouldn't have been so surprised. Really, he had known it was coming. He had been expecting it.

Even so, Remus was stunned when Dumbledore came to his door. He was shocked to hear his former employer ask him to do the most difficult thing anyone had ever asked of him.

"Remus, we need to you infiltrate the werewolf colony."

Remus swallowed hard, trying not to let his feelings show on his face. "You want me to go in openly, don't you?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said, his eyes showing how much the words cost him. "I need you to pretend to be one of them, to convince them that we have more to offer them than Voldemort has."

Remus smiled sadly. "Pretend to be one of them?" he repeated. "I don't need to do that. I already _am_ one of them."

"No, Remus, you are not," Dumbledore said firmly. "You know as well as I do that there is a world of difference between the way you have chosen to live your life and the way they have chosen to live theirs. You know how much more freedom you have, and how much more joy you have."

Remus sighed and ran his hands over his face. "When would you like me to begin?"

"The sooner the better."

* * *

Dana and Laura joined Remus and Olivia for dinner the night before he left for the werewolf colony. Laura was fine all evening, laughing and joking with the adults, acting for all the world as though nothing about Remus's mission bothered her. But, when the time came for her and Dana to say goodbye to Remus, her eyes filled with tears.

"Sweetheart, it's going to be fine," Remus said, cupping her face in his hands. "We'll see one another again before you know it."

"That's not true," she sighed. "I leave for school in three days."

"I know," Remus said softly. He kissed her forehead. "I'll see you at Christmas."

"Do you realize how far away that is?"

"Laura, you said yourself that you'll be back at school in three days," Remus said. "We don't have much time together either way."

"Yes, but if you weren't doing this, I'd know that you'd be safe," she said, a tear escaping and running down her cheek.

"Oh, sweetheart," Remus sighed, hugging her tightly. "Please don't worry about me."

Laura pulled back from his embrace and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. "Worry? I'm not worried. I'm _scared_ for you, Uncle Remus," she said softly.

"Don't be," he said urgently. "Laura, I'll be fine. I'll be here at Christmas, waiting to see you. We'll go out for lunch together, and I'll help you pick out a present for your mum. It'll be just like every other year."

"You promise?" she asked childishly. Her rational mind told her that he could never make such a promise, but her sentimental mind had to hear the words.

He bit his lip. Could he promise his goddaughter such a thing? He smiled sadly, wondering how much damage other werewolves would be able to inflict upon him. "I promise, love."

She threw her arms around him. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once Laura had released him, Dana hugged him tightly. They held onto each other for a long time, each drawing from the other's strength. When Dana pulled back, she gave him a wobbly smile.

"Just like old times, huh?"

"Just like old times," Remus agreed. He kissed her cheek. "We know how it's done, right?"

"I wish we didn't have to know," she said quietly. She kissed his cheek. "You take care of yourself, Remus. We want you back safely."

"I will," he promised. "You take care, too."

"Always."

After one last hug from both Dana and Laura, they left. Remus turned to Olivia, who gave him an odd look.

"What?" he asked.

"You aren't going to tell her goodbye, are you?"

Remus frowned. He had just said goodbye to two of the most important "hers" in his life. "Tell whom goodbye?"

"Tonks."

"Liv," Remus sighed, "please don't."

"Remus!" she exploded. "You have to tell her what's going on!"

"She knows what's going on!" Remus exclaimed. "She's an Order member, Liv! She knows what I'm doing!"

"Does she? Can you tell me about all the other Order members' missions?"

"Of course not," Remus said. "But, I could find out what they're doing if I really wanted to know. If she wants to know what I'm up to, she can find out."

"So you don't think she'd want to hear about it from you?"

"What is there to hear? She already knows that I've been working in the werewolf colony for ages. She's always known as well as I have that this day would come. Why does she need more information than that? It would just give her one more thing to worry about, and that's the last thing I want to do to her."

Olivia shook her head. "She needs to know, Remus. And she needs to hear it from you."

"Don't you realize that telling her is like taking a step backwards?" he pleaded. "I can't do that, Liv. It would destroy the lack of relationship I've worked to so hard to build between us."

She shook her head, trying not to laugh. "Do you realize how much like Sirius you sound?"

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"In this case, it's a bad thing. Please, Remus, tell her. I don't want her to have to hear another major detail of your life from me."

"You'd tell her?"

"Of course. I think she deserves to know."

"But I don't want her to know! I don't want her to worry!"

Olivia gave him a rather smug smile. "Well, I'm going to tell her if you don't, so, either way, she's going to worry. Wouldn't this whole thing sound better coming from you?"

Remus looked at her for a long minute, knowing that she would do exactly as she had said. "You are evil. You know that, right?"

She smiled sweetly. "Of course. It's all part of my charm."

Remus heaved a sigh. "I'll see you soon."

He walked out the door, leaving Olivia alone in their flat. She grinned as she cleaned up from the party.

* * *

Remus walked the short distance from their flat to Tonks's, hoping to use that time to collect his thoughts. He had never seriously considered telling Tonks what he was doing. While this had removed a great deal of stress from his life, it had left him with very few ideas of what to say to her now. He hoped that the right words would come to him.

All too soon, her found himself knocking on her door. After asking for the identity of her visitor and hearing Remus's name, she slowly opened the door. Her blue-gray eyes were open wide in shock as she admitted him.

"Remus," she said softly, feeling her heart leap from her throat to her stomach and back several times. "I didn't expect to see you."

"You were expecting someone else?" he asked mildly.

"No, I meant … I'm just surprised to see you, that's all."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," he said quietly. "I just … I wanted to talk to you for a moment. Is that all right? Do you have time?"

"Yeah, sure," she said, still obviously surprised by his visit. "Come in and sit down."

"How have you been?" Remus asked as he followed her into the living room.

"Oh, fine," she said. "Busy with work. But, I suppose you know all about that … I'm sure that Olivia gives you updates on what we're doing."

She finished with a faintly accusatory tone that left an awkward feel to the room. Remus cleared his throat.

"Yes, Olivia told me that she had told you about our living arrangement," he said. "I'm sure she made it clear that we're living together as _friends_ and nothing more." He smiled nervously. "It's sort of like living with the neater version of Sirius."

"She said something similar," Tonks acknowledged.

Remus nodded. "I actually came to talk about something else."

"Oh?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. She prayed that the hope that was surging through her wasn't outwardly visible. If living with Olivia had helped him to see that he belonged with Tonks, then she welcomed their situation as flatmates.

"Yes," Remus said. He cleared his throat again. "Dumbledore came to see me the other day."

"I haven't seen him in awhile," she commented. "Did he say where he's been?"

Remus frowned. "At the school, I'd assume."

Tonks shook her head. "McGonagall's been running everything with teacher orientation. Dumbledore is nowhere to be seen."

"Oh," Remus frowned. "Well, I don't know where he's been, other than the day he was with me."

"Right," Tonks said. "Sorry. Tell me what happened."

"He … Tonks, he asked me to try to convince the werewolves to join our cause. And, in order to do that … I have to live there for awhile."

Her eyes flew open as cold terror filled her heart. "He wants you to back in there and become one of them?" she whispered.

"Yes," Remus said, wondering if she knew how much that one word cost him.

"Oh, Remus, don't!" she exclaimed. "Don't go! Please, Remus, please don't put yourself in that danger!"

He looked at her in surprise. "I'll be fine, Tonks."

"No, please, you can't do it!"

"I have to," he said, stunned by her attitude. He had expected her to worry, but not to panic like this. "I already told Dumbledore that I'd do it."

"Then tell him that you've changed your mind!"

"Tonks, I can't do that," he said, taking her hands in his. "You know that I can't. You know that I have to do this. Someone has to talk to them before Voldemort starts using them. And … I'm the only one who has a chance of getting through to them. You know I don't have a choice in this."

"There's always a choice," she said, relishing the feel of his hands holding tightly to hers. "_Always_."

"What would you do?" he asked. "If you were in my place, would you back out?"

She didn't answer. Of course she wouldn't. They both knew that. She wouldn't do him the favor of saying the words. However, her silence provided him with the answer he was expecting.

"Exactly," he said. "You know how important this is, and you know what I have to do."

Abandoning all pretense of non-friendship, she pulled her hands out of his and threw her arms around his neck. "You'll be careful, won't you?"

"Of course," he said, working hard not to notice how _right_ it felt to hold her in his arms. "I'm always careful."

She buried her face in his neck, causing him to shiver. "God, Remus, I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"It's going to be fine," he murmured, stroking her long hair, wishing that holding her like this didn't make him want more.

She finally pulled away and looked at him. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow morning."

Tears filled her eyes, but she remained silent.

"Hey," he said, touching her cheek. "It's going to be fine. _I'm_ going to be fine. You don't have anything to worry about."

She laughed hollowly. "Sure."

"It's just another mission. You go on them all the time."

"I'm going to be at Hogwarts," she said. "I think that living under Dumbledore's wing will be considerably safer than living with werewolves."

He smiled sadly. "I'm already one of them. How much more damage can they cause?"

"Please, Remus, don't say things like that," she said, feeling the first tear slide down her cheek.

"Don't cry," he said earnestly.

She laughed shakily, but it only made the tears fall faster. She felt like a fool for crying in front of him over something that really didn't merit tears, but she couldn't stop herself. Her emotions had been so close to the surface ever since the day he had ended their friendship; it wasn't much of a stretch to find her in tears now.

"Please, Tonks," he said, gently brushing her tears away.

Still crying, she found herself drowning in his compassionate eyes. As she looked deeply into his eyes, she felt her face moving closer to his.

"Remus," she whispered.

"Tonks, I …"

The words died in his throat as their lips fell together. There was no question of who kissed whom; they truly kissed one another. What began as a gentle kiss quickly deepened. They kissed passionately, hungrily, both wanting more but both afraid to seek it. When they finally pulled apart several moments later, both of their faces were wet. They looked at one another for a moment, breathing hard.

"Tonks, I –"

"Stop," she said sadly, putting her fingers over his lips. "I already know what you're going to say. I don't need to hear it again."

"I'm sorry," he said, feeling his heart break even as he watched hers breaking in her eyes.

"I know," she said softly. "I am, too."

* * *

The next morning, Remus dressed in his shabbiest clothes. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He hated the way that he looked, but he hated the reason that he looked that way even more. Hoping that he wouldn't encounter any more mirrors, he made his way into the kitchen for breakfast.

Olivia was already seated with a mug of coffee. She looked at him in surprise.

"Trying to fit in with the homeless?" she asked mildly.

"Pretty much," Remus sighed. "I'm trying to make it look like my attempts to live as a 'normal' person have failed. I think they'll accept me better like this than they would if I went in dressed nicely."

"I guess I can see your point."

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. "God, Liv, I _really_ don't want to do this."

"I know," she said, reaching across to touch his hand. "I wish you didn't have to."

He held her hand for a moment, remembering the way Tonks's fingers had felt in his. His face warmed as he remembered the way he had kissed her the night before, then his heart sank as he thought of leaving her.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked. "I think I just saw about twenty different emotions cross your face."

He looked at her and smiled sadly. "Watch out for Tonks for me, please?"

"Of course," she said. She looked at him closely. "What exactly happened last night? You were pretty vague when you came in."

"It doesn't matter," he sighed. "Nothing's changed, and nothing _will_ change."

"Because you choose not to let it change."

"Liv, is this really the time to attack me?"

"I suppose not," she said with a sad smile. "I'd say it's more the time to wish you luck."

"Thanks."

She bit her lip. "I know you've heard it a thousand times from a thousand people, but, Remus, please be careful."

He smiled sadly. "I will be. And I'll be back before you know it."

* * *

Remus felt extraordinarily exposed as he entered the werewolf colony without an invisibility cloak for the first time. He could feel the stares from the time he walked past the first crude dwellings. Finally, one man was brave enough to approach him.

"Are you new?" he asked bluntly.

"New to this area, yes," Remus said.

"That wasn't exactly what I meant," the man said. "How long have you been a werewolf?"

"About thirty years," Remus said. _Thirty-one, to be exact._ It was one date he never forgot.

The man's eyes narrowed. "Then why is this the first time you've been here?"

"It's not exactly easy to find you," Remus said.

The man looked at him closely. "Well, it looks to me as if you've tried to live among _them_."

"What would you have me do?" Remus asked. "I was a child when I was bitten. My parents decided how I would live my life."

"And now you've finally seen the light?"

"I suppose you could say that."

"Well, you're going to have to talk to him if you want to stay here."

"To whom?"

"To _him_. To Greyback! He decides who can live among us."

"Right," Remus said, swallowing hard even as he felt his mouth go dry. "Where might I find him?"

"There," the man said, jerking his head back and to the left.

"Right. Thanks."

Slightly unnerved by the encounter, Remus slowly made his way to the largest house in the colony. There was no question in his mind that the man had given him good, honest instructions. He was certain that Greyback did indeed decide who could stay in his village. Remus hoped that he would make the cut.

Drawing up all the courage and strength that had helped him to earn a place in Gryffindor, he knocked on the door. He only waited a moment before it swung open, revealing the man who had haunted his nightmares for years.

Remus swallowed hard as he looked into the cold eyes of Fenrir Greyback. For the first time, he had no trouble believing that this man was malicious enough to _try_ to bite children. His face showed the effects of years of bitterness and anger. Every line on his face spoke of a moment of hate, every shadow in his eyes of a day of hostility.

"What do you want?" he asked forcefully.

"To – to talk to you," Remus said, finding his voice with difficulty. "I was told that I need to speak with you to be able to live here."

"You were told right," he said. "Come in."

Remus followed him wordlessly into his house. Greyback showed him into the parlor, waving his hand to tell him to sit down. Remus sat gingerly on the edge of his chair. Greyback chose the chair across from him.

He looked at Remus closely, studying his face. "Do I know you?"

"Perhaps," Remus said faintly. "From what I understand, you were the one to bite me."

Greyback's eyes widened. "I never forget those that I bite – I watch over them, waiting for a moment to ask them to join our colony." He looked at Remus for another moment. "You're the Lupin kid, aren't you?"

"Yes," Remus said, his voice slowly strengthening, "I am."

Greyback nodded and sat back in his chair, resting his chin on folded fingertips. "It's been a long time since I bit you. Years. Decades, in fact. I had given you up as a lost cause. Your parents had done such a job on you that I was sure you'd never want to join us. What made you want to live here now?"

"Times have changed," Remus said evenly. "Things are far too difficult for –" He stumbled slightly over his words before recovering. – " for our kind to live among _them_."

"But you've done it for years."

Remus gestured to his shabby clothes. "Does it look as though I've been successful?"

Greyback shook his head slightly. "Times are hard, so you've come here. Why not turn to your friends and family?"

"I don't want their charity," Remus said, this time feeling completely honest. "I'd rather make my own way."

"Understandable."

Remus drew a deep breath and prepared himself for the statement he had been planning to make for months. "I've become disenchanted with all that the other world has to offer. I've come to realize that you have created a different world – a _better_ world – for people like us. I want to be a part of that world."

"Beautiful words," Greyback said indifferently. He looked at Remus for a moment as though trying to get the measure of him. "Very well, Lupin. We'll see how you do." He waved his hand and a set of keys came flying toward him. "You may have number 15 on Main Street. I hope it suits your needs."

"I'm sure it will," Remus said, taking the keys and marveling at how easy the whole process had been.

Greyback rose to his feet to show Remus out. "Welcome home," he said.

Remus stepped out of Greyback's house into bright sunshine. He found it to be a perfect contrast to his mood and all that had just happened.

He had only gone a few steps when he felt a touch on his shoulder. He turned to see a woman about five years his junior looking up at him.

"Will you be living with us, then?" she asked.

"Yes," Remus said. He extended his hand. "I'm Remus Lupin."

"Shannon Powell," she said, shaking his hand. "Was your interview very difficult?"

"Not too terribly," he said.

She shuddered. "Mine was horrible. I was in there for hours."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

She shrugged. "He didn't think I was strong enough, I suppose."

"How long have you lived here?"

"Two years now," she said. "Ever since I was bitten."

"That's not so very long."

"But it's long enough to know my way around. If there's anything I can help you with, please let me know."

"Thanks," Remus said, impressed by her generosity.

"I know how difficult it is when you're first bitten," she said.

"Oh, I was bitten quite awhile ago," Remus clarified.

"Really?" she asked in surprise.

"Yes. It happened when I was just a little boy."

Her eyes narrowed. "Where have you been since then?"

"With family and friends."

"Why would you shun us like that?"

"I didn't know you existed," Remus said. "I had no idea this colony was here until recently."

"How can that be? I knew within months of being bitten."

Remus shrugged. "I don't know. But, I'm here now. Isn't that what's important?"

She shrugged, her initial generosity now lost in her distrust for someone who would choose to live among "normal" people rather than other werewolves like himself. "We'll see."

* * *

"Oh, Laura, I'm going to miss you so much!" Dana exclaimed as she hugged her daughter tightly.

"I'll miss you, too, Mum," Laura replied, returning her mother's embrace.

"You'll write, won't you?"

"Of course."

"Good," Dana smiled.

The train's whistle sounded, and Dana hugged Laura again.

"Have a great term, darling! I love you!"

"I love you, too," Laura replied.

After one last hug, Laura made her way onto the train that would carry her to Beauxbatons. She made her way down the long aisle, searching for her friends. She felt a bit irritated with her mother for always keeping her until the last possible moment with drawn out goodbyes. If it hadn't been for her, Laura probably would have already found Carine, Adèle and, most importantly, Pierre.

"Laura! Over here!"

Grinning, Laura made her way back to the compartment that Adèle was hanging out of to wave to her. The other girl helped her to stow her trunk and hugged her tightly.

"How was your British summer?" she asked.

"Not as bad as I expected," Laura said, loving the way the French words fell off her tongue. She hadn't realized how much she had missed speaking French while she had been away for the summer. "Carine!"

Carine grinned and jumped up from her seat to hug her friend. "Have you seen your Pierre yet?"

"Not yet," Laura said.

"But he visited you over the summer?"

Laura's face turned red at the memory. "I told you what happened."

Carine shrieked with laughter. "What a way for your mother to find you!"

"Was she very angry?" Adèle asked.

"Yes! You should have seen her! It was as if we had been shagging on the bed!"

Carine giggled again. "You weren't, were you?"

"No!" Laura laughed. "You know I've never done that! I would have told you both."

"Your mother is just worried about you," Adèle said.

"Oh, Adèle, stop being so mature," Carine said, rolling her eyes. "It wouldn't be the end of the world if she had been shagging him."

Adèle gave her a curious look. "And who exactly have _you_ been shagging?"

Carine laughed. "No one. But that's hardly the point."

The compartment door slid open, and the three girls looked up. Laura gasped as she recognized the young man standing in front of them.

"Pierre!" she exclaimed, jumping up.

"Laura, I've finally found you!"

She fell into his arms, and he tipped her chin up to kiss her. They kissed enthusiastically for several moments before Laura remembered that her friends were still in the compartment. She pulled away from Pierre and looked at the girls with an apologetic smile.

"Well," Carine grinned, "I can see why your mother was so upset."

"Carine!" Laura exclaimed with a giggle.

"Come on, Adèle," Carine said, getting up from her seat. "Let's leave these two in peace."

Giggle along with her, Adèle followed Carine out of the compartment. They shut the door behind them, giving Laura knowing smiles.

"I didn't mean to kick them out," Pierre said.

"Don't worry about them," Laura shrugged. "I'm sure they have plenty of other people to catch up with. And, I have all night in the dormitory to talk to them."

"And only a few hours right now with me," Pierre smiled. "Shall we get back to our conversation?"

"Please," Laura grinned, winding her arms around his neck.

Pierre grinned at her, then captured her lips with his again.

* * *

"Don't forget to write!"

"Don't you dare lose this!"

"Don't forget to feed Spike for me!"

"Can't I go to Hogwarts, too?"

Olivia smiled as she made her way though the throngs of people at Platform 9 ¾. It had been years since she had left on the Hogwarts Express, and she was rather thrilled to be back.

Her assigned duty was to make sure that only Hogwarts students made their way onto the train, and to ride to Hogsmeade with them. Once they were in Hogsmeade, Tonks and Dawlish would take over security to take the students into the castle.

No one seemed to notice her as she made her way through the crowd, thanks to the Disillusionment Charm she had used. Tonks had insisted that it would make the students more at ease if they didn't know that she was there. Olivia was inclined to agree, and had cheerfully performed the charm. She rather enjoyed the freedom that invisibility afforded her.

Olivia made her way onto the train, trying to stay out of the way as the students, their luggage and pets boarded. She had only been aboard for a moment when she caught sight of a tall redhead that she recognized as the friend she had seen Harry with at Christmas. She stepped forward eagerly, wanting to see if Harry were with him. She was only slightly disappointed to see that he was with a girl with brown hair; the two of them moved toward the Prefects' carriage together. She grinned to herself. While she was a bit surprised that Lily's son hadn't been made a Prefect, the idea of James's son as a Prefect was laughable. Clearly, Harry took more after his father in that respect.

Then, looking up, she saw Harry himself step aboard the train. He looked around for a moment, then hurried to join a girl with long, red hair.

Olivia blinked as she watched a scene from her own past play itself out before her eyes. Harry leaned forward to ask the girl with red hair a question; Olivia was sure he was asking if they could sit together. The girl cheerfully turned him down and walked away, leaving Harry surrounded but a crowd of girls.

"Just like James," she whispered, thinking of the number of times James had been rejected by Lily, only to have his heart scooped up by another willing young lady.

Unlike his father, however, Harry seemed to be completely disinterested, even frightened of the girls. He looked relieved when another boy came up to join him, followed by one of the oddest-looking girls Olivia had ever seen. The three of them left together to find a compartment.

"Good for you, Harry," she whispered. He had chosen true friends over popularity – something she knew that his father had not excelled at during his sixth year at Hogwarts.

Olivia followed Harry and his friends, wanting to make sure she knew his location before beginning patrols of the train. She swallowed hard as she peeked into the compartment to see Harry and his friends chatting. She wished that Lily and James had been there to see this. She wished that they had been there to say goodbye to their son before he left for school, and to see him with his friends. _They_ would have known his friends' names from something other than a dossier prepared by an Auror. _They_ would have known their son as a person, not as a security risk.

"You should have had them for more than a year," she sighed, watching as Harry laughed at something one of his friends said. "You should have had all of us over for dinner last night to wish you well at Hogwarts. You and Laura should have gotten on this train together. Nothing turned out as we planned for you, Harry." She felt tears fill her eyes, and wiped them away. "I just hope that we can finish what they started. I'll do everything in my power to make sure that their wishes are carried out. I'll do everything I can to make sure that you get to live your life – the life they wanted for you." She swallowed. "I owe it to you. I owe it to _them_."


	39. Something

A/N: Well, let's just update the posting schedule, shall we? Expect updates every other Sunday. That should definitely work out for me. I'm sorry that I've had so many problems trying to get into the groove of my life this school year!

Thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll update on or by 12 November. Enjoy this chapter!

I don't own Harry Potter.

Something

"Hi."

Laura smiled tolerantly as Pierre came up beside her in the crowded corridor. He took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. She smiled again, but did not cling to his hand as he clung to hers. He frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

"Why do you always have to hold my hand?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" he asked blankly. "Why wouldn't I want to hold your hand? You're my girlfriend, aren't you?"

"Yes, but … I don't know, Pierre. It just seems like we could walk down the hall together without holding hands every once in awhile."

His frown deepened. "Laura, what are you on about?"

She sighed in frustration. "I don't know, Pierre. It's just …"

"Just what?"

"Do you feel like holding my hand proves something?"

"Do you want to prove something by _not_ holding my hand?" he countered.

"Pierre," she sighed.

"Laura, this is serious," he frowned. "We need to talk about this."

"Not now. I have to get to class," Laura said, indicating the open door to her Charms classroom. She had never been so pleased to go to class before in her life. "We'll talk later, all right?"

"Sure," he said, leaning down to kiss her.

She turned her face at the last minute, forcing his lips to connect with her cheek. He looked at her in confusion, then walked down the hallway alone.

Laura knew that he made a sad figure, but she couldn't muster up the energy to feel sorry for him. She truly was just glad to be on her own as she took her usual seat in the middle of the room.

"What's going on with you and Pierre?"

Laura looked up to see her friend Chloé sitting down next to her. "What are you talking about?"

"Laura, I saw what just happened there," Chloé said. "Pierre tried to kiss you and you turned away. Why?"

Laura sighed. "I don't know."

"Well, _that_ makes sense."

Laura made a face at her. "Just because you and Henri are perfect doesn't mean you get to meddle with my love life."

"We're far from perfect," Chloé said. "But, we work through things –"

"Chloé, can we not do this now?"

"You need to –"

Whatever advice Chloé was about to give was cut off by their teacher, who stepped to the front of the room and instructed them to take out their wands. Laura had never been happier to comply.

* * *

Remus took a deep breath and pulled back the curtains. He looked out the window at the bustling settlement, watching as his new neighbors walked past his house without stopping or even turning their heads to look into his windows. He sighed. He knew that he should have grown accustomed to the feeling of being ignored. Nothing had changed during the two weeks he had been living among his fellow werewolves.

He wanted them to trust him. He _needed_ them to trust him. If they wouldn't even talk to him, how would he ever convince them that Voldemort's vision for the future was not all that they hoped it would be? He knew what he needed from them. He just didn't know how to get it. They wouldn't even talk to him long enough to get more than his name. They all knew what he had done with his life. They believed that he had turned his back on them by living among the "normal" population. How could he convince them that he had changed – when, in reality, he had not?

"Maybe it _is_ time to change," he sighed. "Maybe I _do_ need to become one of them. Maybe I should stop thinking of the next time I can leave the colony, and start trying to think of this as home."

He shuddered at the very idea. How could he remain here, living so close to the man who had destroyed his life before it had had a chance to start?

"He didn't destroy you," he muttered to himself, thinking of words his father and Dumbledore had said before. "He tried, but he failed. Think of all you've done in your life, despite what he did to you."

He moved away from the window and sat down at the table. He waved his wand to summon all the notes he had spent months compiling about the colony, hoping they would give him some insight into how to better interact with the werewolves.

After spending an hour flipping through pages and taking further notes, Remus put down his quill. He ran his hands over his face.

"I can't do this," he sighed. "There is no way I'm going to be able to get through to them. I need …"

He trailed off, knowing that he had no idea what he needed. He closed his eyes, willing inspiration to strike him.

The only thing that came to mind was Tonks's face.

His eyes flew open. He could feel his cheeks flushing red, even though no one was there to know what he was thinking.

"I need to stop thinking about her," he muttered.

But, he couldn't. Ever since the day he had arrived, she had been in his thoughts. He was sure it was due to their last meeting. The feeling of her arms around his neck, her tears falling on his cheeks, her lips against his … it was too hard to put it from his mind. But the one image that truly haunted him was of the look in her eyes when he had ended their kiss. He knew that he had broken her heart yet again. He would give anything to be able to put it back together for her.

Or would he? He had ended their friendship to save her from heartbreak, yet clearly it had not worked. He had done what he had thought was right, but it had clearly been wrong. Was there another way, a way that would mend her fractured heart?

"Can I …?" He got up and started pacing around the room. Maybe, maybe, _maybe_ …

He shook his head violently. "I just need to get back to work."

* * *

"Okay, Laura" Carine said as she walked into the dormitory where Laura and Adèle were getting ready for bed, "tell me what's going on with you and Pierre."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Laura said, her reddening cheeks belying her words.

"Yes, you do," Carine challenged. "Tell me."

Adèle looked from one to the other in complete confusion. "What are you two talking about? Laura, is something wrong between you and Pierre?"

Laura sighed. "How did you find out?" she asked Carine.

"I've heard that you were rude to him before Charms," she said. "Tell me what's going on, Laura."

"You talked to Chloé, didn't you?"

"And what if I did?" Carine asked defiantly. "At least _one_ of our friends is trying to make sure we all know what's going on."

"Why am I completely out of the loop on this one?" Adèle asked, sitting down next to Carine. "Laura, you haven't said anything to me!"

"Well, I'll fill you in," Carine said. "Apparently, Pierre walked Laura to Charms today, but she was quite rude to him – she turned away when he tried to kiss her."

"Laura, did you really?" Adèle asked in shock.

"Yes!" Laura yelled. "Yes, I did! Pierre tried to kiss me, but I wouldn't let him do that in the middle of the corridor! Does that make me a terrible person?"

"No," Carine said. "It just makes you a secretive friend. But, make up for it now. Tell us why you wouldn't kiss him."

"I don't know," Laura sighed. "It's just that lately –"

"Lately?" Carine repeated. "Is this something that's been going on for awhile?"

Laura nodded silently.

"Why didn't you tell us, Laura?" Adèle asked softly.

"I haven't said anything to anyone because I'm not sure how I feel," Laura said, sitting down on her own bed. "I just … I think I'm bored with Pierre."

"Bored with him?" Adèle repeated in surprise. "But, Laura, you and Pierre are perfect for one another!"

"I thought so, too," she said. "But … I don't know. I feel like all we do is snog. I really just want us to _talk_. I want us to have more than a physical relationship."

Carine nodded sagely. "That makes sense. Girls are ready for that before guys."

"Who are you, the advice columnist?" Adèle asked, looking at her incredulously.

"I'm just an observer," Carine replied. "And, here's what I've observed. Laura has been dating Pierre for a while, right? Well, Chloé has been dating Henri for just as long. But, they have a very different relationship. Laura and Pierre are always holding hands in the corridors. When they sit down, Pierre always put his arm around her. Chloé and Henri aren't like that. You wouldn't know they're dating just to look at them."

"That's how I want Pierre and I to be," Laura said desperately. "Maybe I should talk to Chloé. Maybe she'd have some advice for me."

"I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Henri is a seventh year," Carine said. "And, more than that, he's Head Boy. He has a lot of confidence, and he doesn't feel like he needs to prove anything by holding her hand all the time."

"Yes!" Laura exclaimed. "That's exactly what I said to Pierre today! I asked him what he wanted to prove by holding my hand!"

"What did he say?" Adèle asked cautiously.

Laura sighed. "He asked what I wanted to prove by _not_ holding his hand."

Carine shook her head. "It may be time to cut him loose."

"What?" Laura cried, her face stricken. "I can't break up with him! I love him! Do you realize what I've gone through with my mother for him?" She paused and shook her head. "No way. I can't break up with him now."

Carine grinned. "All right, if that's how you feel. But, you should know that Véronique is counting the days until you do break up with him. She's had her eye on him ever since your first day as his girlfriend."

Laura laughed. "Well, that's just one more reason to stay with him, isn't it?"

The dormitory door opened and Véronique, their fourth roommate, walked in. She looked at her three roommates with thinly veiled contempt.

"Still awake?"

"Is that all right with you, Mummy?" Carine asked rudely. "I didn't realize we had a bedtime."

Véronique scowled at her. "If I were your mother, there are quite a few things you'd do differently."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not, then," Carine said, falling back on the bed and stretching out.

Adèle shook her head, looking from Carine to Laura. "Are we done here?"

"For now," Carine said. She jumped off the bed and picked up her towel. "I think I'll go wash my face. Have to get ready for bed, you know."

Véronique gave her an evil look, then pulled the curtains closed around her bed. Laura and Adèle looked at one another, both biting their lips to keep from laughing.

* * *

Remus returned to the flat he shared with Olivia during the days leading up to and immediately following the full moon. He planned to barricade himself in Grimmauld Place for the actual event, not wanting to unintentionally harm her. He knew that the full moon was one of the few times he could be away without raising suspicions; everyone would assume that he, like so many of them, preferred to be alone to transform.

Olivia's face lit up with a smile when he Apparated into their flat. She jumped up from her position reclining on the couch, and threw her arms around him.

"I am so glad to have you back," she said, hugging him tightly. "Tell me you'll be able to stay for awhile."

"Only for a week at best," he said. "I can't be gone longer than that without appearing to have abandoned my new home."

She made a face. "Well, I'll have to take what I can get." She took his hand and led him to the couch. "How are things going for you? You have to tell me all about it."

He sighed. "It's miserable, Liv. Utterly miserable."

She nodded sympathetically. "I can't imagine it would be the nicest place to live."

"It's not just that," he said. "It's more the fact that I can't even get them to talk to me." He laughed hollowly. "I'm supposed to be there to convince them to join our side. How can I do that if I can't even make them trust me enough to say hello?"

Olivia exhaled and ran her hands through her hair, pulling it back from her face. "Is it really so bad as that?"

"Worse," he sighed. "I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall. I might as well be, for as much as I'm accomplishing." He sighed. "I'm a failure."

"No, you're not," she said firmly. "So you can't convince them to join us. So be it. Just move on. Find a new focus."

"What new focus can I find in this?"

She rolled her eyes. "Perhaps _spying_, Sherlock? You could report back any action they're taking against the larger society."

"I could have done that without moving in."

"Not as well. You have a far more intimate knowledge of the colony now, don't you?"

"I suppose," he grudgingly acknowledged.

"There you go, then," she smiled. "See, it's not as dire as you make it sound."

He smiled and touched her cheek. "Thank you."

She turned her face to kiss his palm. "Aren't you going to ask about my mission?"

He laughed. "God forbid we don't focus on you."

"Exactly," she grinned. "Things are going swimmingly at Hogwarts. But, let me tell you, it's not easy tracking teenagers."

"Really?" he asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Try doing it for a year."

"I believe that's what I'm doing," she said. "It's hard enough to keep track of them in the castle – I'm terrified of the first Hogsmeade visit."

"Is it coming up?"

She nodded. "It's been the main focus of our meetings recently. Tonks really wants to make sure we're prepared for it."

Remus swallowed. "How is she?" he asked thickly.

Olivia's eyes softened. "About the same."

Remus looked down, then up again. "Liv, I – "

His words were cut off by a sharp crack. They both looked up to see Dana standing in the middle of their living room.

"Remus!" she exclaimed. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Hi, Dana," he grinned, standing up to hug her. "I was hoping we could invite you over for dinner. I didn't think I'd get to see you so soon."

"I didn't know you'd be home today," she said. "I just wanted to talk to Olivia."

"What's up, Dana?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing, really," she said dismissively. "I just thought a chat would be nice."

Olivia nodded. "Well, have a seat. Remus was just about to make some huge proclamation."

"Really?" Dana said, choosing her favorite over-stuffed chair. "What's that, Remus?"

He sighed. "Well, I might as well tell you both at once. I've been thinking a lot – since no one is willing to talk to me, I've had a lot of time alone with my thoughts."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "We both feel an appropriate, if not over the top, amount of pity for you, Remus. Get to the point."

He smiled. "I just … I miss Tonks."

"Of course you do," Dana said. "You care about her very much. Not being her friend isn't going to change that."

"And, I might add, not being her friend is just stupid," Olivia said. "All you're doing is hurting both of you. Believe me, she'd be doing a lot better if she knew that she could write to you without it being misinterpreted."

"Yeah, that's sort of the point I'm at," Remus said. "I'm thinking of asking her to consider trying friendship again. Just friendship," he clarified. "I still think that anything more would be a mistake."

"We wouldn't want that," Olivia said, rolling her eyes again. "Heaven forbid you actually _act_ on your feelings."

"Liv, please," Remus said. "This is pretty big for me."

"I think it's a great idea, Remus," Dana said supportively. "Men and women can certainly be friends without dating. The three of us are proof of that. Liv and I are both your friends, and we've never wanted to date you. "

"Actually, the idea is a bit stomach-turning," Olivia said.

"Thanks, girls," Remus said dryly. "You really know how to make me feel good about myself."

"Oh, Remus, dating you would be incestuous!" Olivia laughed. "I couldn't date you any more than I could date John."

"She's right on that one," Dana smiled.

Remus shook his head. "I'm actually looking for some advice here."

"You want advice? Fine. Go for it," Olivia said at once.

Remus looked at her closely. "You know her, Liv," he said. "You work with her every day. Do you honestly think it would be better for her if we were friends?" He swallowed. "Don't you think it would hurt her to have that and know that we can't be anything more?"

She touched his hand. "Remus, at this point, I don't think anything could make her hurt more than she already does."

Pain filled his eyes. "I was afraid of that."

"Go talk to her, Remus. I know it will help."

* * *

"Can we talk now?"

Laura looked up from her breakfast to see Pierre standing next to her. She sighed. She had to admit that she had been putting him off for quite awhile. She had the ready excuses of class, homework and study sessions, but she had known all along that she couldn't delay this conversation forever. Now that he had cornered her on a Saturday morning, she knew that she had no choice.

"Yes, of course," she said. "Shall we go somewhere more private?"

"Yes," he agreed.

She stood up. "I'll see you girls later, all right?"

Carine and Adèle nodded. As Laura and Pierre walked away, they immediately put their heads together to discuss the situation.

Pierre led her to an empty classroom. He opened the door, ushering her in ahead of him.

"Right," he said, closing the door behind him. "Can you please tell me what has happened between us? Things have been so awkward recently, and I know _I_ haven't changed, so …"

"You're right, Pierre," she said, sitting down on the teacher's desk. "You haven't changed."

He frowned in confusion, taking a seat at the student desk that sat squarely across from the teacher's desk. "Then, why are we in such a mess?"

"Because I've changed," she said simply.

"What do you mean? You're still the same person you always were."

"No, I'm not," she sighed. "Pierre, I can't expect you to understand what I'm trying to say. I don't even understand it myself. I just know that things aren't … I'm not happy with things going as they always have between us."

"Are you saying you want to break up?" he asked with obvious effort.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I still want to be with you. I just want us to do things a bit differently, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"I guess … Pierre, I love you. You know that."

He nodded. "And I love you."

"Exactly! So, if we know that we love one another, why do we need to put on a show for the rest of the school?"

"This is back to that whole hand-holding thing, isn't it?"

"Yes, I suppose. I just … Pierre, I want us to _talk_. That's the most important part of our relationship, right?"

He smiled. "More important than snogging?"

"That's what I'm getting at."

His smile faded. "Are you saying you don't want to snog me anymore? Because, to be honest, Laura, I think that is an important part of our relationship."

"I'm not saying I never want to snog you again," she said. "I'm just saying that we need to talk at least as much as we snog."

"I can do that," he said.

"Good," she said. She hopped down from the desk. "I want us to work, Pierre," she said, stepping closer to where he sat. She put her hands down on the top of his desk. "I really do love you."

"I love you, too," he said, watching as though mesmerized as she leaned closer to him.

"Good," she whispered. She leaned down to seal her words with a kiss.

* * *

Tonks ate another spoonful of ice cream and flipped the page of her Muggle magazine. Kingsley had gotten her addicted to the Muggle celebrity magazines. She would have hated him for it if she didn't love reading them so much. The royals had become her favorite source of celebrity gossip, and she was quite engrossed in a story speculating that the prince of Spain was gay. She personally wasn't convinced, but the article presented some interesting evidence.

A knock sounded on her door, taking her by surprise. She jumped in her chair, sending her ice cream spoon flying and her magazine skidding across the table.

"Bugger," she sighed. Without stopping to right the damage, she made her way across to the door, pulling her wand out of her pocket as she walked. "Who's there?"

"Remus Lupin."

"Remus?" Tonks asked incredulously as she opened her door. "Aren't you …?" The realization of where he had been and that he was still alive and whole hit her, and she threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, thank God, you're all right!"

He hugged her tightly. "I'm fine," he whispered against her hair. "Just like I promised."

"Oh, God, I'm so glad," she said, pulling him inside. "I've been so worried about you."

"I know," he said. "I've been worried about you, too."

"Me?" she asked. "I don't think that I'm in nearly as much danger as you."

He smiled. "It's tough to stop worrying once you start."

"True, I suppose." She sat down, indicating that he should as well. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

"All right, then."

"Listen, Tonks," he said, sitting down next to her on the couch, "I'd like to talk to you."

"Sure."

He sighed. "I think I've made a terrible mistake."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What happened? What did you do?"

He drew a deep breath. "I asked you to end our friendship."

Her eyes grew even wider.

"Tonks, when I told you that we couldn't be friends anymore, I thought it was for the best. I knew – and I still know – that we can't be more than friends. But, I also know that we're both attracted to one another. So, I thought that by distancing ourselves, we'd be able to save ourselves a lot of heartache.

"It turns out that I was wrong."

"Damn right you were," she said with a shaky laugh. "Remus, do you have any idea how miserable I've been since that day?"

"Yeah, I do," he said. "I've been just as miserable."

"So, what are you saying, then?"

"I'm saying that I'd like us to be friends again – if you're willing to give us another chance."

A beaming smile broke out across her face for the first time since the day Remus had ended their friendship. "I'd really like that."

"We have to be on the same page, though," he said earnestly. "I want your friendship, but that's all the further this can go. We can't – I don't think it's a good idea for us to be romantically involved."

She nodded. "You've made that abundantly clear," she said wearily.

"And …"

"And what?"

"I won't really be able to be in touch with you while I'm with the werewolves," he said. "I can't communicate with the outside world if I'm going to convince them that I've truly moved in with them."

She nodded. "I understand."

"But you'd like to be friends again? Even with all these restrictions?"

She gave him another beaming smile. "More than anything."

"Good," Remus said. "Me, too."

And, as he watched her eyes sparkle with happiness for the first time in months, he was sure he could see her broken heart begin to mend.


	40. Worse than Nothing

A/N: It's been a rough couple weeks, guys. Work has been a mess… A review would brighten my day!

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you like this chapter.

I don't own Harry Potter.

Worse than Nothing

"I wish you didn't have to leave."

"No more than I do," Remus sighed. "I wish I could tell you that I'll write, but …"

"I know," Olivia said simply. "You can't."

Remus looked at her for a long moment, then decided to ask the favor that had been plaguing him all day. "Liv, can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Will you watch out for Tonks for me? She looks … I can tell she's not taking care of herself. Will you make sure she doesn't work too hard?"

Olivia gave him a sad smile. "I'll do my best, Remus, but that's a bit like asking Sirius to stay calm when he's angry." She bit her lip. "I mean …"

Remus stepped forward and folded her into his arms. "I still miss him, too."

She sighed against his chest, willing the tears not to fall. "I thought it was supposed to get easier."

"Yeah, Liv, it is, but you're not supposed to be over it in a few months."

With supreme effort, she stepped back and gave him a wobbly smile. "I'm fine, Remus. Go on your mission. Don't worry about me, and don't worry about Tonks. I'll take care of both of us."

"Good." He touched her cheek. "I'll see you as soon as I can."

"I know."

He Disapparated, hating that he was leaving her so close to tears. But, knowing Olivia, she would bury her feelings without stopping to let herself heal. It was her way of dealing, and he knew that she did it best when he wasn't there to try to draw her out.

He Apparated into his living room in the colony. It was dark in the house; he had left the curtains closed. He walked purposefully across the room and threw them open, letting the daylight stream into the room. Then, he opened the door and stepped outside.

It was time to start accomplishing his mission.

* * *

"I've called you all here tonight to finalize plans for next weekend," Tonks said. "As you all know, it's a Hogsmeade weekend."

The other Aurors looked at her expectantly. As she surveyed their faces, she noted varied degrees of nervousness. She smiled, trying to put them at ease.

"Look, it's not going to be so bad," she said. "The most important thing, of course, is to keep Harry safe, but all the students should receive the highest levels of security possible."

"Are we going to be in charge of groups of students?" Proudfoot asked.

Tonks shook her head. "I'm going to assign each of you a section of town or a specific business to monitor. Proudfoot, you'll take Zonko's."

"Oh, that should be easy," he muttered sarcastically.

Tonks smiled. "But, think of how important you are. Dawlish, you're on South Main."

"At least you get to stay in one place," Dawlish said, nodding to Proudfoot.

"Savage, you have North Main."

Savage gave Dawlish a nod. "I'll wave to you from afar."

"Alexander, you have the Three Broomsticks."

Olivia looked at Proudfoot. "Want to trade?"

"No way," he grinned. "Have fun with that."

"Meet me there afterward for a drink," she said. "I think we're going to need it."

"Where will you be, Tonks?" Dawlish asked.

"Following Harry," Tonks said, already feeling tired at the thought. "I think I've got the hardest job of all of us, guys."

"Well, it's your mission," Olivia smiled. "You could have given it to any of us."

She shrugged. "I am a kind and benevolent leader." _And, I'm completely paranoid and want to follow him myself_.

"What time does this excitement start?" Dawlish asked.

"Be in position by nine," she said. "They're allowed to come down starting at ten, but I want to be prepared earlier. You never know if they'll decide to sneak out early."

"Kids," Olivia said, shaking her head. "It makes me glad I never had any."

"It's not too late for you, you know," Tonks said quietly, thinking of Remus and the children they could have together if he wasn't so stubborn.

"Yeah, I think it is," Olivia said just as quietly, thinking of Sirius and the children they would never have.

Tonks cleared her throat. "Right. Well, unless there are any questions, you're all free to go."

The Aurors stood to leave, grumbling about the insanity of Hogsmeade weekends. Tonks smiled and shook her head, wondering if she was the only one who remembered the excitement of leaving the school for a few brief hours of freedom in Hogsmeade. The students needed these weekends, and she was going to do her best to make sure that they were not denied the privilege.

"Hey, Tonks?"

Tonks looked up to see that Olivia was not walking out her door with the others. "Yeah?"

Olivia gave her a smile. "How are you holding up?"

"Holding up?" Tonks repeated with a frown.

Olivia smiled. "Look, I know it's hard to watch him leave, and it's torture to know that one of your best friends is in danger and can't even write to let you know that he's okay. I just wanted to see if you were having trouble with it."

"Oh," Tonks said, understanding dawning. She cleared her throat again. "Yeah, it's tough. But, somehow, it's easier this time. I don't know, Olivia … I guess just knowing that he's my friend again, that it's okay for me to worry about him … that makes it easier to take."

"You know, Remus has been one of my best friends since I was a little girl," she said. "I love him like a brother. But, I'll be the first one to say that I think he's been a complete prat about the way he's treated you."

"Don't be mean to make me feel better," Tonks said, inwardly rejoicing to hear Olivia's words.

"Oh, I'm not being mean," Olivia said. "I've pretty much told him to his face that he's being a dumb ass about the whole thing."

Tonks laughed at that. "I'll bet he took that well."

Olivia shrugged. "He doesn't get offended when I say things like that anymore. He hasn't for years."

"Maybe that's a good thing, if you're insulting him like that."

"Listen, Tonks, I definitely think he's being stupid about this, but Remus truly is a good guy. He just doesn't always make the wisest choices. I'm trying to help him, but …" She trailed off. "If there's anything I can do, please let me know."

"Thanks, Olivia," Tonks smiled. "That means a lot to me."

Olivia nodded. "Anything to help Sirius's cousin."

* * *

"So things are better between you and Pierre?"

Laura shrugged noncommittally. Carine and Adèle looked at one another nervously from their seats across the dinner table.

"What's wrong now?" Carine asked.

"I don't know," Laura said fitfully. "I feel like … I don't know. He's just bothering me."

"What has he done?" Adèle asked.

"I don't know!" Laura exclaimed. She twisted her hands together in frustration. "Do you have any idea how much this is driving me crazy right now? Do you think I _want_ it to be like this?"

"Laura, if you're not happy, you have to fix it," Adèle said.

"I don't know how!" she cried. "We talked about it, and we have been talking more and snogging less, but … I just don't think things are getting any better."

"Maybe you need to snog more."

The three girls looked up in surprise as Théo, one of their friends, sat down with them. He reached for a pitcher of juice, looking at them expectantly.

"Well? Aren't you going to fill me in?"

"Why do you always have to know everything that's going on in my life?" Laura moaned.

"Because, without me, you'd never have a guy's opinion. And, to be honest, girls, you'd be lost without a guy's opinion. So, spill. Tell me what's going on."

"I'm not happy with Pierre," Laura confessed.

"Well, _that_ only took a year longer than I thought it would," Théo said. "Thank goodness I didn't put money on it. I definitely would have lost."

"Théo!" Laura laughed. "What are you talking about?"

"Sweetheart, I always knew you'd get tired of him," he said. "Pierre is all wrong for you."

"Why?" Carine laughed. "Is he perfect for _you_?"

"Not if he's snogging her," Théo replied, completely unruffled by her question. "I meant that they're just too different. I'll admit that he's cute, which I'm sure was the initial attraction. But, let's be honest: Pierre basically has no backbone. He just pretty much follows Laura around and does what she tells him to do."

"He's her lapdog," Carine nodded.

Laura made a face. "Guys, you're making this sound rather creepy."

"Good," Théo said. "It has been rather creepy. You, my love, need someone stronger than him. You need someone who will fight with you, who will stand up to you and who will love you with as much passion as you love him. In short, you need someone better."

"That's a bit harsh," Adèle giggled. "Poor Pierre!"

"Not a bit," Théo said, supremely unconcerned. "Pierre is a good person. I know he'll find some girl who will love him beyond reason, and their lives will be complete because of each other. I also know that this girl isn't our Laura."

"So you think I should break up with him?" Laura asked tiredly.

"I've thought that since shortly after you started dating him. I'm just glad you're finally on board."

"Let's not get excited," she said. "I never said I was going to break up with him."

Théo looked at her appraisingly. "You will. You just need to decide for yourself that it's the right thing to do first. And you will decide that. It'll just take a little more time."

* * *

Remus walked down Main Street, feeling dozens of pairs of eyes follow him. He worked hard to maintain a mask of indifference, looking for all the world as though he was unperturbed by the hostile stares of his neighbors. He headed straight for the pub, knowing that it was a favorite gathering point. He entered the building and took a seat at the end of the bar.

It was like a scene from a Muggle movie. All conversations stopped as the patrons turned to look at Remus. He looked around with a benign smile, his eyes finally settling on the bartender. The bartender looked back with a conflicted expression on his face. He knew that he should not serve this social exile, but found it very difficult to deny the money Remus was carrying. In the end, his greed won out.

"Can I get you something?"

Remus smiled. "A butterbeer, please."

The man looked a bit disappointed that Remus had not thanked him for his attention by ordering something more expensive, but went to fetch his drink. As the bottle and coins were exchanged, the conversations began to pick up again. Remus felt this was a major victory; he breathed a sigh of relief.

Remus was on his second butterbeer when the door opened and silence fell again. He looked up to see a nervous-looking woman walk in. Remus guessed that she was at least thirty years old, but her eyes had the look of a scared little girl. She took the only available seat at the bar, next to Remus. At this close proximity, he could see how pretty she was, with long blond hair and huge brown eyes. She gave him an anxious smile. The bartender was there in an instant; Remus wanted to smile at the difference in think time her appearance required compared to his.

"What can I bring you, love?"

"A firewhiskey."

"Right away." The bartender looked at Remus as if to imply that he should have ordered something at _least_ that expensive as he picked up a glass for her drink.

"That's a pretty strong drink," Remus commented.

The woman laughed nervously. "I'd say I've earned it."

"Rough day at the office?"

"You could say that."

He looked at her closely. "Please don't think this is a pathetic pick up line, but I'm not sure I've seen you here before."

She smiled. "That would be because you haven't. I just moved here today."

"Oh," Remus said. "Then you've just come from Greyback."

"Yes."

He pulled out his moneybag. "Let me buy your drink."

"Oh, you don't need to do that."

He smiled. "It's like you said – you've earned it."

"Well, thank you," she said as Remus turned over the coins. "Can I know who I'm thanking?"

"Remus Lupin," he said, extending his hand.

"Molly Kenning," she replied, taking his hand.

He cleared his throat and leaned in closer. "Before this goes any further, you should know that I'm not exactly a favorite in this community."

She smiled. "Well, you're also the only person who's talked to me so far. So, I'd say you're _my_ favorite person in this community, and that's what matters."

Remus returned the smile, wondering if this would be like his conversations with his neighbors on his first day. They, too, had been willing to befriend him until they found out how many years it had been before he had joined the colony.

But, she was still sitting with him, ready to chat. He knew enough to run with this stroke of good fortune for as long as he could. Even _one_ ally would be something.

* * *

"So, how are things at Hogwarts?"

Tonks shrugged. "All right, I guess. The kids don't seem to notice us, which is what Dumbledore wants, so I guess that's a good thing."

Kingsley shifted in his barstool so that he was facing her. "Tonks. What is the matter?"

She sighed. "You're going to think that I'm crazy."

"I already do," he smiled. "Confirm it for me."

"I hate that Remus and I are friends."

"Yeah," he said. "You're right. I think you're crazy."

"Can I please explain myself?"

"Believe me, there is nothing I want more," he said, leaning on the bar of the Three Broomsticks. "What on earth are you trying to tell me?"

"He was right when he said that we shouldn't be friends. I don't want to be his friend, I want to be far more. And, as of right now, all being his friend does for me is to allow my paranoia that something terrible has happened to him. Friends are allowed to worry about friends, you know."

"Have you heard from him?"

"No. But, he told met that he can't write while he's there, so I sort of expected that."

"Why don't you write to him, then?"

"Make the first move? But, I'm the girl in the relationship!" she said in mock shock.

Kingsley laughed. "Yeah, that's right. I forgot. You're the girl who has jumped on him and snogged him more than once."

"So I'm not always a lady," she said, her cheeks turning pink. "But, seriously, King, this time it's up to him to make the first move."

"You know how he is, Tonks," Kingsley cautioned. "Are you willing to wait for him?"

"King, I feel like all I've done is chase him," she sighed. "It's his turn to chase me."

"But what if he really is happy just being friends?"

"Impossible. We were meant to be together."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes."

"Then turn your hair pink," Kingsley challenged.

She glared him. "Maybe not that sure."

"Tonks …"

"Don't," she sighed. "I know that I'm in love with a man who may never admit that he loves me. But, King, right now, I really can't take the idea of doing anything about that."

"As long as you're doing what you want to do."

She shrugged again. "Honestly, I don't think I have any alternative."

* * *

"Maybe Théo is right."

Adèle and Carine looked at each other in surprise as Laura walked into their dormitory with this startling proclamation. Carine found her voice first.

"Théo is right about what, love?"

Laura collapsed onto her bed. She sat up, drawing her pajama-clad knees up to her chest. "Do Pierre and I really have a creepy relationship?"

"I don't think so," Adèle said, sitting down on her own bed, facing Laura. "I think that you two really do care about one another. I've always thought that your relationship is sweet."

Laura nodded. "Thanks, Adèle." Her eyes swung to her other roommate, who was pacing around the room. "Carine?"

Carine sighed. "I don't know, Laura. I mean, I tend to agree with Adèle. You two were always very sweet together. But, recently, it's like you've started to fall apart."

"Yeah," Laura sighed. "That pretty much sums up how I feel."

"What do you want to do about it?" Adèle asked cautiously.

Laura shrugged and rested her chin on her knees. "Maybe I should break up with him," she said in a little voice.

"You don't want to, do you?" Adèle asked.

"Not particularly."

"Why not?" Carine asked.

"What kind of a question is that?" Laura demanded.

"An honest one," Carine countered. "Look, there are two reasons you would have for not breaking up with him. A – You love him and want to stay with him to work out your problems. B – You don't want to be alone, so you're staying with him just for the sake of having a boyfriend, even if it's one you don't really want to be with."

Adèle's eyes widened. "She has a point, Laura."

Laura made a face. "You are evil, Carine."

"Because I always make you see the truth," Carine said with a smile. "You're afraid of being alone, aren't you?"

"I just want to be like Chloé!" Laura exclaimed. She buried her face in her hands. "I just want to fall madly in love with the one I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life!"

"Don't look at Chloé and Henri like that," Adèle said. "They're a special case. No one else is like them."

"My mum was," Laura said miserably, lifting her face from her hands. "My parents met at Hogwarts, fell madly in love, dated until they graduated and got married. They had the perfect life."

"You don't have to be like your mum," Adèle said.

"And, sweetheart, no one's life is perfect," Carine added. "Your mum just tells you that it was because she remembers the good times. I'm sure there were days when they were fighting and they both got on each other's nerves." She bit her lip. "Laura, honestly, is Pierre the person you see yourself marrying? Is he the one you want to be with forever?"

Laura looked down at her feet for a long moment, feeling the tears fill her eyes. "No," she whispered at last.

Carine nodded. "Then, darling, I think you know what you have to do."

"Yeah," Laura sighed, wiping her hand across her eyes. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

"Sleep on it," Adèle advised. "Maybe you'll feel differently in the morning."

* * *

"How could this have happened?"

The Aurors all looked as though they wanted the ground to swallow them whole. Tonks realized that she was utterly terrifying as she glared at them, but could not back down. She was livid, and she wanted answers.

Olivia cleared her throat. "I did notice Katie go to the ladies' room," she said. "But, honestly, Tonks, I don't remember seeing her come out. There were so many other kids there … I know that she's a friend of Harry's, but it didn't occur to me to follow her."

"I suppose it wouldn't," Tonks said. She rubbed her hands over her face. "Right. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we've failed. Hogsmeade weekends will be suspended until further notice. Our job was to keep the students safe, and we were unable to do that."

"Tonks, calm down," Dawlish said. "She's going to be all right."

"All right?" she repeated in shock. "Dawlish, a girl was nearly killed on our watch. _Killed_! Do you realize the extent of what could have happened? From what information we've managed to gather, she wasn't going to keep that necklace for herself, either! She was going to give it to someone else – my guess would be to Dumbledore! Do you realize how much danger he is in right now?"

"Does he need Auror protection, too?" Proudfoot asked in a small voice.

"He won't hear of it," Tonks said. "He wants us to focus on Harry." Anger jumped into her eyes again. "And, in case you've forgotten, Harry was practically beside Katie when she touched that thing. That could have been Harry who was cursed, Harry who is in St. Mungo's, Harry whose life is hanging in the balance! Do you have any idea how close we came to catastrophic failure?"

No one seemed to know what to say. Tonks knew that she was screaming at them, she knew that she was taking all her frustrations out on them, but there was no way she could stop herself.

"You know what?" she said at last. "Just leave. Go. All of you. We'll meet tomorrow morning at the usual time."

The Aurors were visibly relieved as they got up to leave her flat. Olivia followed along with them, but stopped at the door. She looked back at Tonks, who had collapsed on her sofa with her head buried in her hands. Changing her mind about leaving, Olivia closed the door behind the last Auror and crossed to sit down with Tonks.

"I don't need you to babysit me," Tonks said without looking up. "I'm a big girl. I'll be fine."

"I know that," Olivia said. "I just thought you might want to talk, that's all."

Tonks looked up at last and gave her a half-hearted smile. "Aren't you afraid I'll bite your head off?"

"I can take it," Olivia smiled. "Listen, I know you're upset about what happened today. Believe me, we all are. I'm willing to take personal responsibility. I was the one who was supposed to watch the Three Broomsticks. If I had kept a better eye on Katie, this would never have happened."

"You can't blame yourself," Tonks said quietly. "We were all there. We all have responsibility for what happens to the students."

"Right," Olivia agreed. "Which means _you_ aren't allowed to take all the blame, either."

"Olivia, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I'm upset about what happened today. Angry, disgusted, you name it. But, I'm an Auror. I'm used to dealing with Death Eaters, and I'm used to seeing people get hurt."

"Okay," Olivia said slowly, prompting her to continue.

Tonks gave her a helpless, apologetic smile. "I miss Remus."

"Yeah," Olivia sighed. "I miss him, too."

"It's just … I thought that being friends would make it easier. I really did. I thought that just knowing that he's my friend, that it's okay for me to miss him would make it all okay."

"Not the case?" Olivia asked.

"It's worse this way!" Tonks moaned. "I just want to hear from him, to know that he's all right! I feel like he's purposely not writing to me."

"He can't write while he's with them," Olivia said. "He has to make it appear that he's completely cut himself off from us and our world."

"I just … I guess before, I didn't expect him to write, so it wasn't so bad. You can't be disappointed by nothing when that's what you know is coming, right? But, now that we're friends, it just feels like he should write me."

"You could write him," Olivia suggested. "I wouldn't advise doing so every day, but an occasional letter is bound to be okay."

Tonks shook her head. "I want him to contact me."

"But, Tonks, he …"

"I know," she said, lifting her chin stubbornly. "But it doesn't make a difference. He should find a way to make it happen. I'm not going to do anything until he makes the first move."

Olivia sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. _Oh, this is going to be fun_.

* * *

"Have you made a decision?" Adèle asked cautiously as she, Laura and Carine walked down to breakfast the next morning.

"I have," Laura said.

Adèle and Carine exchanged a glance.

"Are you going to tell us what you've decided?" Carine asked.

Before Laura could so much as open her mouth, Pierre appeared at her side.

"Good morning, love," he said, kissing her cheek.

Laura grimaced and moved away from him. "Pierre, can we talk?" she asked in a rush.

"See you at breakfast," Carine said. She and Adèle practically ran toward the dining hall.

Pierre looked at him in confusion then back at Laura. "What's wrong with your friends?"

"I think they wanted to give us some privacy," she said. "Come here."

He followed her to an empty alcove and looked at her expectantly.

"Pierre," she began. She stopped and balled her fists up at her sides. "God, this is hard."

"What is?" he asked in confusion.

She drew a deep breath. "I think we need to end our relationship." Just saying the words gave her a wonderful sense of peace.

"What?" he asked just above a whisper.

Laura's heart broke as she watched the color drain from his face. "I'm so sorry, Pierre," she whispered.

"You – you want us to break up?" he asked in shock.

"Yes," she said quietly. "I just … I don't think we're in the same place right now. I think we would be better apart than we are together."

"Well, I disagree," he hissed. "I think we're great together!"

"But, I don't," she said simply.

"Why?" he asked. "What's happened? What have I done?"

"Nothing," she said miserably. "There's no specific thing that's happened … I just think that this needs to end."

"I can't believe you!" he yelled. "I don't understand why you would throw away what we have over _nothing_!"

"Pierre, please," she implored. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

"It doesn't seem like it's hard on you at all!"

"Do you have any idea how much agony I've gone through over this?" she exclaimed. "Do you think I _wanted_ us to end this way?"

"Laura, I have done everything you've asked of me," he said. "I don't see why it wasn't enough."

"Because we aren't meant to be together," she said. "I'm sorry, Pierre."

"Well, I am, too," he said angrily. "I'm sorry that we wasted so much time to have it all end over _nothing_."

He stalked off, leaving her alone in the alcove. She sank down onto the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest. She was still sitting there when Théo found her.

"Hey," he said, sinking down next to her. "Are you all right?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to talk?"

She again shook her head in the negative.

Théo looked at her for a moment, then took her hand. She clutched his hand tightly, willing it to be enough to make her feel better again. Maybe, her friends would be enough to make her broken heart mend.


	41. Home for the Holidays

A/N: This was the hardest chapter to write. Not for any emotional reason, but just because I wasn't pleased with it. I've reworked it several times, but I'm still not thrilled with it. So, I'm sorry for the delay, but I really just wanted to give you a good chapter, rather than something I threw together. I like the way the next one is shaping up, so, hopefully, I can have it posted quickly.

One other random note: I gave Remus's new friend the wrong name in the last chapter. For some reason, I was thinking of Molly Weasley when I was writing and typed "Molly" as her name. She's actually Maureen. I'm sorry if that causes confusion!

Thanks for your patience, and for reading and reviewing! Happy holidays!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Home for the Holidays

_Dear Remus,_

_I don't know if you've made plans for the holidays yet, but I would love it if you would join our family for the Christmas celebrations. Arthur and I would love the chance to catch up, and I know the children would be so excited to see you. Harry will be staying with us for the holidays; I know how much spending time with you would mean to him._

_Please let me know as soon as you can if you'll be able to come. Of course, Olivia is more than welcome to come along, too._

_Hoping to see you for Christmas,_

_Molly Weasley_

Molly sent Errol off to deliver the message, hoping against hope that Remus would respond in the affirmative. She knew that he tended to spend Christmas with Dana and Olivia, but she had other plans for him.

She smiled to herself. If Remus agreed to spend Christmas with her family, she had only one other invitation to extend.

* * *

"So, what made you come here to live?"

It was the question Remus had been dreading. He and Maureen Kenning had been building a friendship for the past two weeks, but he was sure that this could be the issue that would end it all. Aside from the obvious detriment that would be caused to his mission, he didn't want to lose his new friend. He liked Maureen very much. In some respects, she reminded him of Olivia. She was incredibly kind, but had a temper and an edge about her that made him sure that she could hold her own in any argument. He was not surprised that she had impressed Greyback enough to be allowed to live in his colony.

"Remus?" she asked.

He shook his head to bring his thoughts back into focus. "It's sort of a long story," he said, heaving a sigh.

She frowned slightly. "Okay, we'll start somewhere more basic. When were you bitten?"

"When I was a little boy," he replied. He was dimly surprised that they had not had this conversation before. It tended to be the first conversation among the werewolves living in the colony – and, in Remus's case, it was usually the last.

"You waited a long time before moving here," she commented.

He nodded. "I was so young … too young to make my own decisions. My parents weren't going to give me up, so they raised me as they had planned before I was bitten." He smiled. "They gave me a good life – the best life I could have had under the circumstances. I didn't know another way to live. Besides, it was years before I heard about the colony. By then, my life was established. Living as I had always lived made the most sense."

"Do you miss it? Living as you used to?"

He looked into her wide, innocent eyes, and decided to answer the question with the same honesty with which it was asked. "Yes."

"So do I," she admitted. "I was only bitten a year ago … I guess it made sense to move here once I heard about it."

"Why did you decide that?" Remus asked curiously. He had never gotten close enough to anyone in the colony to have this conversation before.

"Well, you know how it is. You have friends, you have a life, but you have to leave it once a month. You live in fear that you'll accidentally hurt someone that you love." She sighed, her expression a bit pained. "I wanted to save my friends and family from me. Moving away … coming here … it seemed like the best decision at the time."

"Now that you're here … I get the feeling that you don't think that it _was_ the best decision. Am I right?"

"No, I still think it was the right thing to do," she said. "I just miss my old life. I miss my family and my friends."

"Yeah, I know how you feel," Remus said.

"I suppose it's silly. I lived away from home when I was at school."

"That doesn't make it silly. You had your friends with you then."

"That's true. And I could write to my family. I get the feeling that that's frowned upon here."

"The occasional letter is acceptable," Remus affirmed. "But, Greyback doesn't like for us to have contact with the outside world."

She sighed. "I guess I'm upset now because it's so close to the holidays."

"Why don't you go visit them for Christmas?" Remus suggested.

She shook her head. "I don't think Greyback would approve of that."

"We aren't prisoners, you know. We are allowed to come and go as we please."

"Really?" she asked, perking up a bit.

"Really," Remus smiled. "I'm planning to go visiting over the holidays." His smile widened as he thought of the kind invitation from Molly. He had only just replied that he would love to spend Christmas with the Weasleys and Harry. He was rather hoping that Tonks might be there as well, but he didn't dare write to her to ask.

"But you just said that we need to limit contact with the outside world."

"I know. But, there are ways to make it happen."

"Such as?"

"Well…" Remus said slowly. "Plenty of people leave for the full moon."

"Why?"

Remus shrugged. "Everyone has their reasons. I'm not in anyone's inner circle, but there seems to be an unspoken rule that no one pries into anyone's full moon rituals."

"So we can leave for the full moon?" Maureen asked, her eyes beginning to sparkle.

"Yes."

"Which is around the holidays," Maureen said, her excitement practically bubbling over.

"Exactly," Remus grinned. "I'd say it's a pretty good excuse, wouldn't you?"

"Remus! This is just perfect! I really hated the thought of spending Christmas without my family."

"Yeah," Remus agreed, his eyes taking on a far-off look, "I can't wait to see my family, either."

Maureen looked at him critically. "I'd say you're thinking of more than just 'family.' Is there a special someone that you're excited to see?"

Remus smiled sadly. "Right now, my 'special someone' is my goddaughter."

Maureen's smile was just as sad as his as she replied, "Yeah, I know what you mean."

* * *

Laura had never been so miserable to go home to her mother for Christmas in her life. She had not been herself ever since leaving Pierre. She had truly clung to her friends in the time following that fateful day, and hated the thought of leaving them.

"It'll be fine," Carine said a bit desperately as the girls prepared to Floo home. "We'll be back together again before you know it."

"I don't know how I'm going to make it without you girls," Laura said, feeling the tears fill her eyes.

"Don't do that," Adèle said forcefully. "You aren't allowed to cry at Christmastime, Laura."

"Christmas is a week away," Laura said, trying to blink her eyes clear.

"Still … 'tis the season," Adèle smiled. She hugged Laura tightly. "Carine is right. It's going to be fine. I'm sure you'll have a great time at home."

"Right," Laura said with a shaky laugh. "I'll be stuck with my mother, who is probably thrilled that Pierre and I have broken up."

"I don't think she'll be happy to see you so upset," Carine said softly.

"Besides, you have others to stay with, right? Your godparents?"

Laura nodded, a small smile finally breaking through. "I'm sure that Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia will let me stay with them if Mum gives me a hard time."

"There you go. See? It's all going to be fine."

"Laura! It's your turn!"

Laura hugged both girls one last time. "I'll miss you so much. I'll write you every day."

"We'll write back," Carine promised, kissing Laura's cheek. "Take care."

"Good luck!" Adèle called as Laura made her way toward the giant fireplaces to Floo home.

* * *

"What are you going to do when you get home?"

Maureen smiled, her eyes taking on a dreamy look. "I'm going to hug my niece and nephew. I've missed them so much."

"I'm sure they've missed you, too," Remus smiled.

"I have presents for them," she said. "I hope they like them."

"Seeing you will probably be the best present they receive," Remus said.

"It will be for me," Maureen replied. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

"What are you looking forward to the most?"

Remus smiled. "Everything."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Maureen said. She hugged him tightly. "Just … don't get to attached, all right? Make sure you come back when the holidays are over."

"Oh, I'll be back," Remus said. "I don't really have a choice."

"Do any of us?" she smiled. "Take care, Remus."

"You, too."

She picked up her bags, and Disapparated, leaving Remus alone in his living room. He sighed, and turned to the task of packing for his own trip home.

* * *

"Anyone home?"

Olivia launched herself out of her chair so fast that it rocked back. "Remus!"

Remus laughed as she threw herself into his arms. "I've missed you, too," he said.

"I didn't expect you for a few more days," she said, taking his hand and leading him to the couch.

"I know. I decided to come home early," he replied. "I know that Laura's coming home today, so I thought that I would, too."

Olivia bit her lip. "Have you heard from her?"

"No." He frowned. "Has something happened?"

"Well … it's nothing terrible. I mean, Dana was thrilled when she read the news …"

"Liv, just tell me!"

"Laura broke up with Pierre."

Remus's eyebrows shot up. "Well. I didn't expect that to happen – not after seeing how close they were this summer."

"Yeah, we were all pretty shocked by it."

"All two of you?" Remus laughed

Olivia laughed with him. "No, I mean all three of us. Dana, Tonks and I."

Remus's eyebrows went up even further. "I didn't know that Tonks was so concerned with Laura."

Olivia nodded. "She and Laura are becoming quite close. I think that Tonks is stepping in as a big sister to her – you know, there's a vast difference between confiding in Tonks and confiding in Dana. Really, I think it's even easier for her to talk to Tonks than to talk to me."

"I remember you saying that before," Remus said. "I just didn't think that they would stay so close."

"Tonks just loves Laura," Olivia said. "I think she's really good for her."

A ghost of a smile flitted across Remus's face. "Who is good for whom?"

Olivia smiled with him. "It's a symbiotic relationship."

"How is Dana taking the news about the big breakup?" Remus asked.

"Well, you know she never thought Pierre was good enough for Laura, so she's not exactly heartbroken over it. I have a feeling that Christmas dinner might be a little tense, though."

Remus laughed. "Oh, that reminds me! Molly invited us over for Christmas. I already said that I'd go. Do you want to come with me?"

Olivia smiled sadly. "That's sweet of her, but I can't. I promised my mum that I'd go home for Christmas. I guess Dana and Laura are on their own this year."

Remus looked at her critically. "You don't seem very excited about going home."

She pressed her lips together and shook her head.

"Olivia?" Remus asked, reaching out to take her hand.

She tried to smile but failed as tears filled her eyes.

"Liv," Remus said quietly. He squeezed her hand. "Tell me. Please."

"It's my first Christmas without him," she said in a choked voice. "I just really, really hate the thought of what they'll all think or say."

"Everyone knows he was innocent now, Liv. I'm sure they'll feel badly for thinking the worst of him for all those years."

"They hated him long before we all thought that he was a murderer."

"Even so … I'm sure they'll be over it by now."

She shook her head. "You don't know my dad. He'll never admit that he was wrong. John is just like him in that. And my mum … she never thought that Sirius was good enough. I can't see them all changing the opinions they've had for years based on a little thing like the truth that has finally come out."

Remus sighed and squeezed her hand again. "You'll make it, Liv. You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. If anyone can get through this, it's you."

She smiled, returning the pressure on his hand. "I hope you're right, Remus. I really, really do."

* * *

Tonks moved throughout her living room as gracefully as possible, singing along with Christmas carols as she cleaned. She truly hated cleaning, which meant that she generally put it off until her house resembled as war zone. But, she always cleaned in honor of the holidays. It was one lesson that her mother had managed to teach her: Unexpected visitors are common during the holidays.

As if to affirm her mother's advice, a knock sounded on her door. Tonks looked helplessly around the room that had somehow become messier than it had been when she had started cleaning an hour ago. Knowing that there was no hope for it, she pushed her hair back out of her face and picked up her wand.

"Who is it?" she called as she approached the door.

"Molly Weasley, dear."

Smiling, Tonks opened the door to admit her visitor. "Hi, Molly."

"How are you, dear?" she asked as she stepped over the threshold.

"I'm fine," Tonks replied. "I'm sorry my place looks like this. I've been cleaning, and I've managed to get myself into quite a mess."

"Don't worry about it," Molly smiled. "I can't stay long, but I wanted to stop in for a moment."

"I'm glad you did," Tonks replied, leading her to the already-clean kitchen. "I love anything that distracts me from cleaning. Can I get you some tea?"

"That would be lovely."

"I'll have it in a second. Just have a seat."

"I actually wanted to talk to you about something specific," Molly said as she sat down at the table.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Do you have plans for Christmas?"

"Christmas?" Tonks repeated, putting steaming mugs of tea down in front of each of them. "Well, I'm on duty in the morning, but nothing beyond that. Why?"

Molly gave her a beaming smile. "In that case, I'd like to invite you to have Christmas dinner with us."

"Dinner?" Tonks asked, her eyebrows shooting up.

"You seem surprised," Molly said. "I know it's generally a time for family …"

Tonks shook her head. "My family has dinner together on Christmas Eve," she said. "I guess I'm just surprised _you_ want someone who isn't family over for dinner."

"You are family," Molly said warmly. "Besides, Harry will be there."

"You're looking for Auror protection, then?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that!" Molly exclaimed. "Between Dumbledore and the Ministry, our house is as safe as Hogwarts. I want you to come as a friend – as family. I didn't mean to suggest that I wanted you for your skills as an Auror."

"Oh," Tonks said, her face relaxing a bit. "Will Bill and Charlie be there, too?"

"Bill is planning to come … Fleur will be with him, of course …"

Tonks smiled. "They make a nice couple."

"Yes, I suppose," Molly said with a strained smile. "Charlie won't be able to make it this year."

"Oh, that's too bad," Tonks said. "I had hoped to see him."

"Yes, well, he said he couldn't get enough time off to make the trip. We'll miss him, of course …" She smiled. "You know, there was a time when I thought that the two of you would be coming to Christmas dinner together."

"Yes, we all thought that," Tonks said. "But, I think things are better this way. We both get to do what we've always wanted, and neither of us resents the other."

"You're right, of course." She smiled. "And, this leaves both of you free to pursue others."

In an attempt to avoid a conversation about Remus, Tonks decided to continue down the line of Weasleys who no longer lived at the Burrow. "Will Percy be home for Christmas?"

"I don't know yet," Molly said, intently watching her spoon as it stirred her tea. "I know how busy things are at the Ministry right now …"

"Of course," Tonks said quickly. "So, the twins will be there, I expect?"

"Of course," Molly said fondly. "They'll come in on Christmas Eve, as will Bill and Fleur, and Remus …"

"Remus will be there?"

"Yes, I thought that I had said that at the beginning."

"No, you just said that Harry was staying with you."

"Oh, well, Remus will be joining us as well."

"Then I can't," Tonks said at once.

"What?" Molly asked in surprise.

"I won't come if Remus will be there."

"Tonks, what a thing to say! You know how fond Remus is of you."

"Fond enough not to write to me. Fond enough to completely avoid me."

"Tonks, be fair," Molly said. "You know that Remus has responsibilities to the Order, and you know that he can't stay in touch while he's living …"

"I know that he's not trying very hard," Tonks interrupted. "I know that he hasn't made any effort to contact me. And, Molly, I will not make the first move this time. If he wants this to work, if he wants us to be friends again, he has to be the one to get in touch. He has to be the one to take the first step. He has to be the one to seek me out."

"Tonks, don't you think you're being a bit ridiculous? If you want to be friends with him … or even more … you have some responsibility for nurturing the relationship, too."

She shook her head. "I've done my part. It's his turn, now."

"Tonks …"

"Molly, I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just can't come. Please, you have to understand."

"I don't see how I can understand two people who were once the best of friends completely avoiding one another – especially at Christmas."

"I can't do it again, Molly," Tonks said. "I've let him break my heart so many times before. I can't stand the idea of letting the same thing happen again. I won't set myself up for that pain again. I have to stay away. It's the only way I can begin to heal."

"All right, dear, if that's how you feel …"

"It is," Tonks said firmly. "It's for the best."

* * *

"Darling!"

Laura tried desperately to smile. "Hi, Mum."

Dana crushed her daughter to her. "I've missed you so much. How are you?"

"Fine," Laura replied. She pulled back and looked around the living room. "Where are Uncle Remus and Aunt Olivia?"

"They'll be over for dinner," Dana replied. "And Grandma will be here tomorrow."

Laura's face brightened. "Is she staying with us for the entire holiday?"

Dana nodded. "She'll go back to France when you do."

Laura smiled fully at last. Her grandmother would provide a much-needed line of defense. "I've missed her. It was strange not living with her last summer."

Dana nodded her agreement. "I know that she's missed you, too." She bit her lip, wondering if she dared to bring up Pierre. She decided to be delicate about the situation. "How are your friends?"

"Good," Laura said, collapsing onto the couch. She extended her arm toward her mother. "Carine and Adèle got me this bracelet for Christmas."

"Oh, it's beautiful!" Dana exclaimed, bending over to examine the piece of jewelry. "They're good friends to you."

"The best," Laura agreed.

Dana paused, then decided to try again. "And how … how are your other friends?"

"Mum, please," Laura sighed. "I know what you're trying to do, and I really just don't want to talk about it."

"Laura …"

"Look, I broke up with Pierre, all right?" Laura said, her irritation clearly evident. "I'm sure you're thrilled and want to discuss how this makes my life so much better, but I really don't want to talk about it!"

"Laura, stop," Dana said a bit harshly. "That's not what I wanted –"

"Just stop, Mum!" Laura exclaimed, jumping up off the couch. Her eyes swung to the clock. "When are we having dinner?"

"At seven," Dana replied, frowning in confusion.

"I'll be down at seven, then."

"And just where will you be until seven?"

"I'll be in my room." With that, she stalked off up the stairs.

Dana sat down hard on the couch, staring at the archway through which Laura had disappeared. She ran her hands over her face.

"It's going to be a long two weeks."


	42. The Saddest Christmas

A/N: Happy New Year! I hope 2007 brings you joy!

As always, thank you for reading and reviewing.

I don't own the Potter universe or _Gone with the Wind_.

The Saddest Christmas

_Christmas Eve_

"Pass the potatoes, please."

Laura did as she was asked, glaring at her mother as she handed the serving bowl across the table. Dana hid the pain that stabbed through her with the look from her daughter, and gave her a smile.

"Thank you, darling."

Laura remained silent, cutting into her meat with far more force than was necessary.

Dana looked helplessly at her mother. Mrs. Morgan nodded slightly, and took a sip of her wine.

"Tell me about school, Laura," she said as she set the glass back on the table.

"What is there to tell?" Laura asked. "I go to class everyday. I talk to my friends." She raised her eyes to look at her mother. "I do _not_ have a boyfriend."

"Laura," Dana began.

Mrs. Morgan waved her silent. "What are Carine and Adèle doing for the holidays?"

Laura launched into descriptions of trips to the coast and the mountains, which passed the time until the meal ended. As soon as the last plate was clean, Laura jumped up from her seat.

"May I be excused?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll clean up," Dana said.

Laura rushed from the room, and Dana looked at her mother.

"I don't know what to do with her," she said. "She won't talk to me, she'll barely even _look_ at me." Tears filled her eyes. "Laura and I have always been so close, Mum. I can't bear to have our relationship like this on Christmas."

"I'll talk to her," Mrs. Morgan said. "I can't make any promises, but I'll talk to her."

"Thanks," Dana said.

Mrs. Morgan patted Dana's cheek, then went in search of her granddaughter.

She found her in her room, curled up on her window seat, staring out into the night. Mrs. Morgan looked at her for a moment, then entered the room.

"Go away," Laura said. "I don't want to talk."

"I think you need to talk."

Laura jumped and turned at the sound of her grandmother's voice. "I'm sorry, Grandma. I thought you were Mum."

"I don't think that makes it any better to use that tone. That's certainly no way to talk to your mother," Mrs. Morgan said. She sat down on Laura's bed and looked at her intently. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Everything," Laura sighed dramatically. "I don't have a boyfriend anymore, Mum is mad at me and I'm trapped here until next year."

Mrs. Morgan smiled in spite of herself. "Next year is a week away, darling."

"That's hardly the point."

She looked at Laura for a moment as though trying to see into her soul. "Can you tell me why you think your mother is mad at you?"

"I don't know. She just is."

"Well, let's try for an easier question, then. Why did you break up with Pierre?"

Laura shrugged.

"Oh, no. You're going to have to do better than that."

"I was bored with him," Laura admitted. "I didn't want to date him anymore. Just holding his hand made my skin crawl."

"Certainly good reasons for breaking up with him," Mrs. Morgan said. "Laura, I know that I'm very old and feeble – "

"You're not old or feeble, Grandma," Laura said with a smile.

Mrs. Morgan smiled. "Thank you, dear." She paused, then continued. "You know, I was married once. And, before that, I had several boyfriends. But, I spent a good deal of time without dating anyone, too. And, I can tell you from my own experience that it's far better to be on your own than to be with someone you don't like."

"I know, Grandma. That's why I broke up with him."

"Sweetheart, if you're happier without him, then you have no reason to be miserable."

Laura looked at her with tragic eyes. "But I _am_ miserable."

"Because of Pierre?"

"I suppose."

"Is there another reason?"

Laura paused for a moment, then decided to speak. "I hate that Mum's so happy that I've broken up with him."

"I don't think that she's happy –"

"Yes, she is!" Laura interrupted. "She never liked him, she never wanted me dating him – of course she's happy that I'm not with him anymore!"

"No mother likes to see her daughter suffer, Laura."

Laura turned away to look out the window again. "I really don't feel like talking, Grandma."

"All right," Mrs. Morgan said, getting up from the bed. She started to leave the room, but paused in the doorway. "I love you, Laura."

Laura turned to give her a half-hearted smile. "I love you, too."

Dana was sitting in the kitchen when her mother reached the first floor. She looked up at her nervously.

"How did it go?"

"Not well," Mrs. Morgan sighed. "Maybe – maybe you should have her talk to Tonks."

"Not on Christmas Eve," Dana said. "Perhaps after Christmas."

Mrs. Morgan nodded. "Right now, I think she might be the only one who can get through to Laura."

* * *

"So then he said, 'that's why I got the new car!'"

Laughter erupted at the end of the story. Tonks joined in, even though she had only heard half of it. Her uncle Tim always told amusing stories; she was sure that it had been funny even without knowing the content.

Christmas Eve with the Tonks family was always a production. Tonks's father came from a large Muggle family who delighted in celebrating the holiday. Tonks had always loved going to her grandparents' house on Christmas Eve. Her childhood memories were full of events just like the one. But, somehow, she couldn't muster her usual enthusiasm.

"Are you all right?"

Tonks turned as her cousin Ella sat down next to her. She gave her a smile. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Ella said, looking at her closely. "You just seem a little off, I suppose."

"I'm fine," Tonks repeated.

Ella nodded and settled back against the sofa. She turned to face Tonks, her expression gentle. "It's a boy, isn't it?"

Tonks wanted desperately to deny it, but knew that she couldn't. For one thing, Ella knew her better than most people, and would see through her lies in an instant. For another, she could feel her face turning red at the question.

"Of course, it is," Ella said with a knowing nod as she watched the emotions play across Tonks's face. "What happened, Dora?"

"It's a long story," Tonks sighed. "Suffice it to say that we're not spending Christmas together."

"Yes, I can see that," Ella smiled. "And, I have to say, I'm rather glad. It would be terrible to have you bring a boyfriend to Grandma's when I'm still single."

Tonks laughed. "We have to present a united front, is that it?"

"You know it. We always have."

Tonks smiled warmly. She and Ella had always done everything together for the simple reason that they had been born only three months apart. Now, as adults, they didn't get to see each other very often; even so, they remained close.

"Things never work out the way we want them to, do they?" Tonks sighed.

"Sometimes, it's better that way," Ella said slowly. "Think of how different your life would be if you had married that boy you fell in love with when we were seven. What was his name? Tommy?"

Tonks burst into genuine laughter at that, thinking of the "wedding" they had staged as children. "I had forgotten that! You know, I've heard that he's in medical school now."

"Ah, well, life is full of missed opportunities," Ella giggled.

"Yeah, that's true," Tonks said, her earlier melancholy creeping back over her.

"Hey," Ella said, realizing what was happening in her cousin's mind, "stop it. It's Christmas, Dora. You aren't allowed to be sad on Christmas."

"Can't I be just a little sad?" she asked with a hint of a smile.

"No," Ella said firmly. She sighed, resigned to asking about "the boy." She was sure that talking about it would make Tonks feel better. "What's his name?"

Tonks felt the heat rising to her cheeks again. "Remus," she said quietly.

"Remus," Ella repeated. "And I suppose he's quite handsome."

"Of course," Tonks smiled, knowing that her cousin was trying to make her feel better.

"And clever."

"Quite. He was a professor for awhile."

"Oo, and educated, too," Ella smiled. "And he's funny?"

"More witty, really."

"Even better." Ella cuddled back against the couch. "He sounds lovely."

"He is," Tonks said warmly.

Ella's expression darkened. "Well, he's a rat bastard if he's broken your heart like this."

"He's not, El," Tonks sighed. "That's half the problem. I can't hate him, because he's such a bloody good person."

"He can't be that good of a person if he's hurt you like this," Ella said quietly. "He doesn't deserve your time, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be allowed to ruin your Christmas. So, we're not going to let him."

"What?"

Ella jumped out of her seat, and grabbed Tonks's hands, pulling her to her feet. "Come on, Dora, we're going to dance!"

"I don't want to dance!"

"Yes, you do!" Ella laughed. She turned up the Christmas music that was playing and began dancing around the crowded living room.

Tonks laughed at her antics. "Ella, you're being ridiculous!"

"You're the one who's making me dance alone!"

Three other cousins jumped up to join Ella. Ella reached out to grab one of Tonks's hands again, while another cousin, Kelly, grabbed the other.

"You have no choice," Ella laughed. "Come on, Dora, stop acting like an old woman."

Faced with such accusations, Tonks found that she had no choice but to join in their dance. Her cousins cheered as she began dancing with them, and several other family members joined them.

Laughing breathlessly, Tonks was sure that Ella had provided her with the perfect quick fix for her sadness. But, what would happen when the party had ended and she had returned to her still, quiet flat?

* * *

Remus's head was spinning as he watched the younger Weasleys, Harry and Hermione trooping up the stairs to bed. Even though he considered the highlight of the day Fred greeting him by his first name, thereby opening the doors for the others to call him something other than "Professor Lupin," it had been completely driven out of his mind by his conversation with Harry.

"You don't think there's something to what Harry said, do you? About Draco Malfoy?" he asked Arthur.

"I don't know, Remus," Arthur said slowly. "Like I said, I've searched Malfoy Manor. There's nothing there that could be considered illegal." He looked thoughtful. "What about this bit about Snape?"

"I stand by what I said to Harry," Remus said. "I trust Dumbledore, so I must also extend my trust to Snape." He smiled sadly. "I know very well what Sirius and James would think about that, but there it is."

"They trusted Dumbledore, too," Arthur reminded him quietly.

"Yes, they did," Remus mused. "But, there was far more bitterness between them and Snape than between Snape and I. I suppose you could say they had more reason to distrust him."

"Do you really believe that?"

Remus smiled. "No. The real difference is that James died at the age of twenty-two with a rather adolescent view of the world still working its way out of his mind." He looked into the fire for a moment. "And, Sirius's life ended that night, too."

"Remus, you aren't allowed to look so sad on Christmas Eve," Molly said as she came back into the room. "Whatever Arthur's been telling you, just forget about it."

Remus smiled. "I'm sorry, Molly. I didn't mean to bring your party down with my personal problems."

"Don't worry about it," she said warmly. She smiled as she sat down with the two men. "I think that Harry was quite pleased to see you."

"I'm glad to be able to spend some time with him," Remus said. "He's … I wish you had known James and Lily, Molly. He's so much like them that it frightens me."

"I wish _he_ had known them," Molly said softly.

"No more than I do," Remus said. "They were truly good people."

"They must have been, to have a son like him." Molly bit her lip. "They'd be so scared for him, though. I wonder what they would say if they knew …"

"They would tell him to fight," Remus said, feeling a surge of renewed desire to fight alongside him. "They would tell him not to give in, not to give up. They would tell him to be brave, to be strong." He sighed. "I wish he had them here to do that for him."

"He has _you_, Remus," Molly said urgently. "He has all of us, but, most importantly, he has you. You were their best friend. That must mean something to him."

"It does," Arthur offered. "He trusts you, Remus, which is not something he does easily."

"He trusts you, too," Remus said. "You've been a real family for him ever since he started at Hogwarts, and I know – I know that James and Lily would be thankful for that."

Molly wiped at her eyes and smiled, clearly ready to change the subject. "What are your ladies doing tonight?"

Remus smiled. "Dana and Laura are probably fighting over everything in their lives, with Dana's mother acting as a referee."

"Are they not getting along?" Molly asked sympathetically.

"Not exactly," Remus said. "You know how teenagers can be."

"Mine were never really all that bad, thank goodness," Molly said. "The twins were a handful, of course, but they never acted out for the sake of fighting."

"Laura just broke up with her boyfriend, so she's rather miserable," Remus said. "Unfortunately, Dana was never a fan of Pierre, so …"

"So she thinks that Dana is glad that she's upset," Molly said, understanding dawning. "Oh, dear."

Arthur chuckled. "Makes me glad we only had one girl."

Molly shook her head. "And Olivia?"

"She's headed to her parents' for the holidays," Remus said.

"That will be nice for her."

Remus smiled. "I hope so."

* * *

"Aunt Olivia!"

Olivia grinned as she stepped out of the grate in her parents' living room. As much as she had been dreading facing her parents and her brother, she had been looking forward to seeing her nieces.

"Hi, Kristen!"

She couldn't help but laugh as her twenty-two-year-old niece flung herself forward into Olivia's open arms. She hugged her tightly, then pulled back to look at her.

"Where's Megan?"

Kristen rolled her eyes. "She's off with her boyfriend. She'll be here for dinner tomorrow, but she's spending tonight with Dylan's family."

Olivia raised her eyebrows. "It sounds like they're getting pretty serious."

"They are," Kristen sighed.

"You don't seem very happy about it."

She laughed. "I'm the older sister. I'm supposed to get married first."

"Don't begrudge your sister her happiness. If she waits for you to get married first, she'll be waiting forever." Caroline smiled. "Hi, Olivia!"

"Caroline!" Olivia exclaimed as her sister-in-law hugged her. "It's so good to see you!"

"You, too," Caroline smiled.

"You're so mean, Mum," Kristen said with a somewhat-forced smile.

Caroline rolled her eyes, then smiled at Olivia. "Krisie is following in her Auntie's footsteps."

"How so?" Olivia asked.

"Our newest Auror is married to her career."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Olivia said, putting her arm around Kristen. "My career and I have been very happy together."

"So there," Kristen said, laughing at her mother.

Caroline smiled tolerantly. "Have you seen John and your parents yet?"

"No, I just got here," Olivia replied.

"Well, everyone is in the kitchen," Caroline said.

"Come and say hi," Kristen urged.

Olivia smiled as best she could, bracing herself for what faced her in the next room. "Lead on."

"Look who's here!" Caroline exclaimed as they entered the kitchen.

"Hi, Livie!" John greeted her, hugging her close. "How are you?"

"Fine," she said.

Her parents came forward, both folding her into their arms.

"We've missed you, darling," Mrs. Alexander said. "You haven't been home in ages."

"John works me too hard," she smiled.

"We're facing a very real threat," John said seriously. "We need every available person working to his or her full potential."

_It's a shame you don't know how to make that happen,_ Olivia thought. She smiled and said aloud, "We all do the best we can."

"How are things going at Hogwarts?" John asked.

"Pretty well," Olivia said.

John nodded. "I'm thinking of having Krisie join you there."

Kristen made a face. "I like where I am, Dad."

"Where are you now?" Olivia asked.

"Muggle London," she said. "Unlike some people in the department, I have the ability to make myself look enough like a Muggle to fit in. Apparently, that's not good enough for Dad."

"I think we're pretty well set at Hogwarts," Olivia said. "You'd have to talk to Tonks, of course, to know for sure."

"I don't know," John said. "After that incident with Katie Bell …"

"An accident," Olivia said. "It was tragic, of course, but everything is under control."

John shook his head slowly. "I'm thinking of changing the way things are running at the school."

"Why would you do that?" Olivia asked, panic filling her. The _last_ thing Tonks needed was to have her mission taken from her.

"If Tonks can't run this mission the right way …"

"She's running it very well," Olivia said angrily. "I don't think anyone could do better."

"Liv –"

"Let's have dinner," Mrs. Alexander said quickly. "John, can you carry the ham into the dining room for me?"

"Of course," John said, taking the platter from his mother.

"Here, dear," Mrs. Alexander said, giving Olivia a bowl of vegetables.

"So, I'm surprised to see you here on your own," Mr. Alexander said, walking into the dining room with Olivia.

"You thought I was bringing someone?" she asked. "I thought that I had told Mum that Remus wouldn't be with me."

"I had just thought … Liv, it's been awhile. You're finally free of him – free to move on."

Olivia put the vegetables down on the table with far more force than was necessary. She glared at her father for a moment, then took her seat next to Caroline.

"Are you all right?" Caroline asked.

"Fine," Olivia said, gritting her teeth.

"You don't look fine," Caroline replied.

Olivia gave her a sarcastic smile. "Everything is going exactly as I had expected. Why wouldn't I be fine?"

* * *

_Christmas Day_

Laura had always loved Christmas. There was something so magical about the holiday and the love and happiness that it represented.

This year, she hated it.

She hated the cards from her friends. She hated the gifts from her godparents.

But, most of all, she hated the fact that she had to spend the day with her mother.

Dana tried desperately to bring her around from the very beginning. She started the day by making Laura's favorite breakfast, complete with an excellent recreation of the pastries she had adored as a little girl in France.

"Isn't this lovely?" Mrs. Morgan smiled as they sat down to breakfast. "Laura, you must try these pastries! They taste just like the ones you always liked so much in France."

"They're good," Laura said.

Those were the only two words she spoke until dinner that evening. By that time, Dana, furious that Laura would act this way on Christmas, was ready to shake the girl. Mrs. Morgan, who had spent the day trying to draw Laura out, finally had given up. She was setting the table with the good china while Laura helped her mother in the kitchen.

"Would you like to choose a platter for the turkey?" Dana asked.

Laura shrugged.

The small gesture ignited a fire in Dana, who slammed her open palm down on the counter.

"That is _enough_!" she yelled. "I understand that you've broken up with your boyfriend and that you're upset about it, but that is _no reason_ to ruin Christmas!"

Laura's mouth fell open in shock. "Mum!"

"You are not the center of the universe, Laura, and the entire world does not have to cater its moods around yours! Perhaps I doted on you too much, and perhaps I'm partly to blame for the monster you've been since you got home, but you need to take some responsibility for your own actions.

"Life gives us all different circumstances, Laura. We don't control what happens to us, but we control our reactions to what happens. And, right now, you are acting like a toddler who didn't get the toy she wanted for Christmas."

"You have no idea how I feel!" Laura yelled.

"That is completely untrue!" Dana cried. "The entire world knows how you feel, Laura, because you've made it painfully obvious!" She stepped closer. "I'm upset that you're hurting, but you need to stop acting as though you are the only one who's ever been hurt. You need to realize that there are problems greater than yours. And, most of all, you need to realize that it is _Christmas_. This is a time of togetherness and family and love – and you need to get yourself into the spirit to celebrate those things _right now_."

Dana grabbed a platter of rolls and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Laura alone with her jumbled thoughts. Her mother looked at her with raised eyebrows as she entered the dining room.

"That sounded tense," she said.

Dana put the platter on the table and shook her head. "I can't believe my child is so spoiled and pampered that she would ruin Christmas for all of us with her emotions."

"I think you're being a bit unfair."

Dana shook her head. "I know what she is, Mum, and I don't have anyone but myself to blame for it. I spoiled her all her life, and now she feels that she has the right to dictate the emotional climate of the entire family."

"Dana, stop," Mrs. Morgan said. "You're being ridiculous. She's just being an emotional teenager. You were like that yourself at her age."

"I don't think I was quite this bad."

Mrs. Morgan smiled. "Not during the holidays, dear."

Dana sighed. "She'll get over it, right?"

"Eventually."

The door between the kitchen and dining room swung open, and Laura stepped out, carrying a bowl of mashed potatoes.

"Where do these go?" she asked meekly.

Dana and her mother exchanged a look.

"I'll take them, dear," Mrs. Morgan said, taking the bowl from her.

Laura drew a deep breath. "You're right, Mum," she said without making eye contact. "I want us to have a nice Christmas."

Dana released the breath she had been holding, and crossed to hug her daughter. "We will, darling."

Laura closed her eyes as she hugged her mother back, but she couldn't ease the tension from her body. She wished that everything could be fixed so easily.

* * *

"_Tomorrow is another day._"

Tonks let the tears fall freely down her cheeks as the music swelled over the scene of Scarlett standing alone, overlooking Tara. She had seen _Gone with the Wind_ at least a dozen times, but had never cried quite this much at the end before.

"Oh, please. You are _not_ watching that movie all alone on Christmas."

Tonks's heart leapt to her throat as she leapt to her feet. She spun around to see Kingsley standing behind her.

"King!" she yelled. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

"You gave me your password," he shrugged. He stepped around to sit down with her on the couch. "Now, tell me why exactly you are home alone on Christmas, making yourself cry with classic movies."

"I like this movie," she said defensively.

"Most people do," he replied. "But that doesn't answer my question. It doesn't even come close to answering it."

"Why are you here?" she asked with a resigned sigh.

"A little bird told me that you might be alone today, wallowing in your misery."

"And does this little bird have a name?"

"Maybe," he smiled. "Molly Weasley told me that you had refused an invitation to Christmas dinner. That's unheard of, Tonks. It's like refusing an audience with the Pope."

"I couldn't go over there, King. Not once she said …"

"Remus is there, isn't he?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Tonks, you know that I love you," Kingsley said. "You're one of the brightest people I know, and normally I support your decisions. But, this time, I think you're being ridiculous."

"_I'm_ being ridiculous?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Tonks, you've got it in your head that Remus is going to magically transform into this knight who will come charging over here to rescue you from the dragon of your own self-pity."

"What's so wrong about that?" she asked defensively. "What's wrong with wanting him to make this right?"

"Darling, he doesn't know how you feel. How can you expect him to do what you want if he doesn't know what that is?"

"He knows very well how I feel," she said stubbornly. "He's known all along that I fancy him." She felt the heat rising to her cheeks as she realized how much like a teenager she sounded. "I know that he cares about me, too, King. I just don't understand why he won't let us be together."

Kingsley sighed. "Sweetheart, he's told you time and again where he stands on this. And, until now, I think that I've been very supportive of your decision to try your best to win him, despite his protests. But, Tonks, maybe …"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe it's time for you to fully appreciate his point of view. Maybe it's time for you to believe him."

"What exactly are you trying to say, King?"

"Tonks, I'm saying that maybe it's time for you to move on."

She looked away from him and stared blankly at the television screen. She stared it without blinking for so long that he started to get nervous.

"Tonks?" he asked gently.

She turned to look at him, her eyes full of tears. "Do you think I _want_ it to be this way?" she asked in a hoarse whisper. "Do you think that I _want_ to be miserable? Do you think that I want – that I want …?"

"Tonks, that's not what I meant."

"I _hate_ this, King," she said. "I hate every last minute of it. I wish with all my heart that I could stop caring. I wish that I could be like Olivia, who wants nothing more than friendship from him, who doesn't have a problem not hearing from him for months while he's with the werewolves. _But I can't_. I can't make myself stop caring." A tear came loose and slid down her cheek. "I can't make myself fall out of love with him."

Kingsley sighed, and pulled her into a comforting embrace. "He doesn't deserve you, you know."

She smiled against his shoulder. "Stop trying to be an older brother."

"You need one," he replied, pulling back to look at her. "Who's going to make sure you're okay if I don't?"

"I'll be fine on my own, King."

"'Fine' does not include sobbing over a movie on Christmas," he argued. "Come on. We're going out."

"Out? Out where?"

"Out for a walk. The fresh air will do you good. Then, we're going to come back and have hot chocolate and ice cream."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" she giggled.

Kingsley smiled at the smile on her face. "Absolutely. Now, go get your coat."

Tonks smiled wider as she jumped up from the couch. "Thanks, King. You truly are always here when I need you."

He smiled back. "That's what brothers are for."

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Remus asked in a low voice, watching Harry lead Rufus Scrimgeour out of the house.

"We don't exactly have much choice, do we?" Arthur replied, his own expression just as worried as Remus's. "He's the _Minister_, Remus. Nothing will happen to Harry. He can't let it. Can you even imagine …?"

"I know, I know," Remus said. "It just seems …"

"I know."

Remus looked away from the empty doorway to see Molly hugging Percy. Percy was facing the table; his expression of distaste for the emotional scene was all too obvious. Ginny and the twins stared at Percy with unveiled contempt.

"How can he treat Mum like that?" George whispered.

"On Christmas, no less," Fred added. "I can't believe we ever looked up to him."

"Did we? Any of us?" Ginny asked.

Bill looked at them with concern. "Don't," he cautioned in a low voice.

"Don't what?" Ginny asked innocently.

"Don't do anything that will ruin this for Mum," Bill warned. "Because if you do …"

"Percy, please, sit down," Molly said, wiping her teary eyes. "Have some turkey."

"No, that's fine, Mother," Percy said stiffly.

"Don't be silly," she said. "I know how you love Christmas dinner – we have plenty of food –"

"Are you sure about that?" Percy asked with a bit of a sneer, looking around the table. "It would appear that you already have more than your fair share of guests."

Horror filled their faces at the words and all that they implied. No one could believe that Percy would speak to his mother like that. Ginny glanced at Bill, whose face was turning a deep shade of red. She looked back at the twins, who were shoving their spoons around on their plates. Realizing what they were doing, she mimicked them.

"You know, Perce, I seem to remember your favorite food," George said, lifting his spoon off his plate. "Do you remember it, Fred?"

"I sure do," Fred said, lifting his own spoon. "_Mashed parsnips_."

As if it were their cue, the twins and Ginny all pulled their spoons back and flung their contents at their older brother. Percy tried to duck, but he wasn't quick enough; he took the parsnips full on in the face.

The door flung open just as Percy, sputtering, tried to clean off his glasses. Remus looked around to see Harry, his face rather flushed, standing in the doorway. Percy glanced at him for a minute, and, if possible, his face turned even redder. Without saying a word to anyone, he marched out of the house.

"What just happened?" Molly bellowed. "Who did that? How could you do that to your brother?"

"He deserved it, Mum!" Fred exclaimed.

"Didn't you hear what he said about – about – " George was beyond words over the entire incident.

"I did it, Mum," Ginny said. "Don't blame Fred and George."

"Hey, now!" Fred exclaimed. "I don't want to miss out on my credit for that!"

"Neither do I!" George said indignantly. "We were all involved, and that's the truth!"

Molly looked around at all of them, and promptly burst into tears. She ran from the room, leaving them all feeling rather awkward and ashamed.

"Molly, please," Arthur said, getting up from his seat. He looked at his children with a weary expression. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes," Fred, George and Ginny said as one.

Sighing, Arthur followed his wife out of the room.

"I told you not to ruin this for Mum," Bill said.

"We didn't," Fred said stubbornly. "Percy did that all on his own. He never needs our help to ruin anything for Mum."

"Don't you get it?" Bill asked. "It always means more to Mum when Percy's here. She wants it to be like we were when we were little kids, with everyone here and happy for Christmas. You messing with Percy just drives him away."

"Good," Ron said, speaking for the first time since Percy's unexpected arrival. "We don't need him."

Bill sighed. "But, _Mum_ does. Can't you see that?"

"Why can't she have Charlie instead?" Ginny asked.

"Charlie hasn't written her off," Bill explained. "It's not nearly as exciting to think of him coming home for Christmas. She knows that he'd be here if he could. Percy, on the other hand …"

"Is a git," George said. "I, for one, am through worrying about him." He picked up a plate of rolls. "Did everyone get one of these? Our own Ginny made them."

Everyone relaxed as the rolls went out the table. They were talking quietly when Arthur and Molly, whose eyes were still rather red, made their way back into the room.

"Look at all of you with food still on the table," she said with a slight smile. "Here, let me get those plates out of the way and get you all some dessert."

"I'll help you," Remus said, standing to follow her from the dining room to the kitchen.

Molly smiled at him as the door shut behind them. "I don't really need the help, Remus. Go enjoy the day."

He smiled gently. "Are you all right, Molly?"

"Of course," she said with a falsely bright smile.

"Molly," he said gently.

Her smile faltered. "I won't let this ruin our Christmas," she said. "The children, you, Harry … this is Fleur's first Christmas with our family. We all deserve more than – than food fights and insults."

"You're a strong woman, Molly," Remus said, squeezing her shoulder.

She smiled again. "Of course, Remus. I _was_ a Gryffindor."

* * *

"Aunt Olivia!"

Olivia smiled and opened her arms to receive her younger niece. Megan laughed as she clung to Olivia, kissing her cheek.

"I've missed you!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to tell Dad that he's not allowed to make you work so much anymore."

Olivia laughed. "He couldn't make me work any less. You know how I can be."

"True," Megan smiled. She reached back to take the hand of the tall young man behind her, pulling him forward. "Aunt Olivia, this is Dylan. Dylan, this is my aunt, Olivia Alexander."

"Hi, Miss Alexander." Clearly unbelievably nervous, Dylan extended a hand for Olivia to shake.

Olivia smiled as she shook his hand. "Please, call me Olivia."

He smiled back, slowly relaxing. "All right."

"Come on, you have to meet my grandparents," Megan said, pulling Dylan down the hall.

Kristen appeared beside Olivia. "What do you think of Dylan?"

"He seems a bit nervous. Is he always like that?"

She shook her head. "I think he's just scared to meet the family. It must be tough to date a girl whose father, aunt and sister are all Aurors."

"And whose grandparents can be rather terrifying," Olivia added, thinking of the first time she had introduced Sirius to her parents. She felt as if a knife twisted within her as she remembered his first awful Christmas with her family. If it hadn't been for John and Caroline, she was sure that it would have been a truly horrific holiday.

"Are you okay, Aunt Olivia?"

"I'm fine," she smiled. "Kristen, you're nice to Dylan, aren't you?"

"I try to be," Kristen shrugged.

"Kris …"

"I'm nice, Aunt Liv," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Good. He needs to have someone support him while he's here – someone other than just Megan."

"Krisie? Grandma wants you to set the table."

"Coming, Mum!"

"I'll help," Olivia volunteered.

"Thanks," Kristen smiled.

Olivia smiled back, thinking that she would far rather help her niece with the table than be trapped in the kitchen with her mother.

Dinner began calmly. Everyone was very polite, trying to make a good impression on Megan's boyfriend. He gradually lost his nerves over the course of the meal, and moved from answering the questions posed to him to asking some of his own. Olivia found herself thinking that this young man would be a welcome addition to their family; judging by the way Megan looked at him, she thought so, as well.

"Are you working, Dylan?" she asked.

"Actually, I'm studying to be a Healer," he replied.

"One of my best friends is a Healer," Olivia said. "She works at St. Mungo's."

"I'd love to do that," he said. "My father wants me to go into research, but I'd really rather work with the patients."

"Understandable," Olivia said. "Is that where you and Megan met, then? Healer training?"

Megan nodded with a wide smile. "We had lunch together on the first day of training, and that was that."

"Training can be difficult," Olivia said. "I'm glad the two of you have found a support system in one another."

"You trained as an Auror, right?" Dylan asked.

"That's right," Olivia smiled.

"And you work the Ministry?"

"Yes. I started here, then moved to France to work for the British Auror division there for a time, then came back."

"She couldn't stay away," John laughed.

"That's right," Dylan said, his eyes swinging to John then back to Olivia. "Your brother is your Head! Is that strange?"

"Not really," Olivia replied. _Except the part about knowing that everyone thinks he's incompetent_. "I don't really see much of him, as I'm stationed at Hogwarts."

"Is that a plea to change your assignment?" John laughed.

"Certainly not! I love where I am."

"Still," he said, turning serious, "we may need to reevaluate that situation."

"What is there to reevaluate?" Olivia asked, instantly annoyed.

"We've been over this, Liv," John said. "A girl nearly died! Don't you think that merits some sort of evaluation?"

"It was an accident," Olivia said, her voice rising. "An isolated case. Tonks is doing a great job! You don't need to worry about us."

"I think that I do," John said, his own volume climbing. "I know that you and Tonks are friends, Liv, but you can't cover for her if she's not up to doing her job."

"She's very up to doing her job!" Olivia knew that she was yelling, but she couldn't back down – not now. He was attacking her ability to do her job, and, even worse, he was attacking Tonks – _Sirius's cousin_.

"Liv, think!" John yelled. "Anyone can see just by looking at her that she's overwhelmed! Maybe it's time to break up the team and reassign the Hogwarts mission!"

"You're a fool if you think that's the right thing to do!" Olivia yelled. She laughed cruelly. "Then again, this all makes perfect sense. Based on how you're running this department, I'd say that you _are_ a fool."

"What?" John sputtered.

"John, you have made a complete mess of this department! You're splitting up teams on a whim, reassigning people who don't need to be reassigned, disregarding what anyone else in the department says … in short, you've created a mess for yourself. And, the worst part is, I don't think you have any idea of how to begin sorting it out."

John's face was bright red. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" Olivia laughed. "I talk to my colleagues, John, and I know how they feel. The sad truth is that you don't even realize how much you've hurt the department."

John looked at her in shock, unable to even formulate a response.

Olivia threw her napkin down on the table and stood to her feet. "I'm sorry to ruin dinner, Mum. I just had to get that off my chest."

With that, she Disapparated, leaving her stunned family behind.


	43. Bridges

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Your support means so much to me.

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Bridges

Miraculously, Olivia arrived home without splinching herself. She gave a scream of frustration as she looked around her living room. When no answering sound met her ears, she realized that Remus was not yet home from the Weasleys' party.

"Just as well," she muttered to herself. "I don't think I could even think straight to talk to him right now."

She could not remember the last time she had been so angry. Her emotions bubbled over as she remembered all that had been said during dinner. Her brother had insulted her, and he had insulted Tonks …

She sat down hard on the couch, knowing that it was his suggestion that Tonks could not do her job that bothered her the most. Tonks was exceptionally capable – and it wasn't as though John was doing such a stellar job in his own position.

But, beyond her skill as an Auror, Tonks was Sirius's cousin. She was Andromeda's daughter. Tonks and Andromeda were the only two members of Sirius's family that he had had any love or affection for, and that alone was enough to make Olivia adore them both. She would not allow her brother to demean Tonks as he had.

But … what if they had been more than idle comments? What if John had meant what he said? He had already shown that he had no qualms about separating teams and reassigning those that he felt to be ineffective. With all that Tonks was suffering over her rather melodramatic relationship with Remus, Olivia did not have any idea how she would survive losing the position that she loved.

She had to help Tonks. She knew that much. And, she also knew what would make Tonks happy – happier than she had been in a long time.

The only question that remained was how to convince Remus to make it happen.

* * *

Remus had already finished breakfast and was sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea and reading the _Daily Prophet_ when Olivia made her appearance the next morning. He smiled as she walked into the kitchen, wrapped in a warm robe with her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"Good morning, sunshine."

She scowled at him. "You're happy. I take it the Weasleys put on a good show for Christmas?"

"Well, aren't we chipper this morning?" he smiled. "Did the family event go as well as you had hoped?"

She bit her lip as she sat down at the table. "I sort of ruined dinner."

Remus put the teacup he had just lifted to his lips back down on the table. "What?"

She had the decency to blush. "I blew up at John."

"Why?" Remus asked the simple question with a look of pure confusion. Olivia and her brother generally got along fairly well. "Did he bring up something about Sirius?"

"Indirectly," she sighed. "My dad was the one who mentioned him."

"What did he say?"

"Just something about how I should move on, now that I'm finally free of him."

"Ridiculous," Remus said dismissively, his expression disgusted. "So, that sort of set the tone, then?"

"In my head, yes. But, what John said was completely unrelated."

"Will you tell me about it?"

She sighed again. "Obviously, he's heard about what happened to Katie Bell during the last Hogsmeade weekend."

Remus nodded.

"Well, he said that it might be time to reevaluate the team we have at Hogwarts. Basically, he wants to remove Tonks from her position leading the mission and, I think, to reassign us all in different locations."

"But, you all work so well together! And, you said that Tonks was doing a great job of managing the mission!"

"We do. She is. And that's what I told him."

"But, he disagreed?"

"Of course." She bit her lip. "He insulted _Tonks_, Remus. She's Sirius's cousin. He was insulting Sirius by extension. I couldn't let that happen."

"Sweetheart, I really don't think he was trying to insult Sirius –"

"I know," she interrupted. "I've had the night to think about it, and I know that he didn't realize how much what he was saying would upset me. I know that he probably didn't make the connection between Tonks and Sirius. I know … I know that I probably shouldn't have said the things that I said."

"What did you say?"

"I … um … I told him that he's ruining the department. I told him that I'm not the only one who thinks so. I told him that he's got us into such a mess that he'll never figure out how to get us out of it."

"You what?" Remus exclaimed. "I thought you didn't want to tell him about that! I thought you wanted to make sure that he never found out how the others feel!"

"I know," she moaned. "I just sort of lost my head! Like I said, I wasn't exactly at my most rational." She ran her hands over her face. "I feel awful about what happened, Remus. I have to make this right."

"I think you know how to do that," Remus said quietly.

She nodded. "I have to go talk to him. I have to apologize. I have to explain that I was upset."

"Exactly."

She looked at him for a moment. "But, you need to do something, too."

"What? I didn't insult anyone at the Weasleys'."

"I know," she smiled. "But, you need to go see Tonks."

His eyes opened wide. He knew that he and Tonks were becoming friends again, but the idea of seeing her was just too much. "Why?"

She sighed, reading the reluctance to face Tonks in his eyes. "She misses you, Remus. She's your friend, too, you know. You've seen all your other friends since you've been home. She deserves a visit, too."

"You're right, of course," Remus murmured, thinking that he would rather avoid what was likely to be an awkward situation.

"And, this is a good time to see her, since school's out," Olivia added.

"You're right," Remus said again.

"Remus," she said, reaching across the table to touch his hand, "if I have to go apologize to John, you can certainly face visiting a friend."

He smiled weakly. "Yeah, I know."

"Good. Then, here's what we'll do. We'll stay home and procrastinate until lunch. We'll have lunch together, then we'll both leave to face our potentially uncomfortable visits. Agreed?"

Remus smiled, knowing that there was no fighting her. "Agreed."

* * *

Laura sighed as she rolled onto her back on her bed. Her thoughts were a confused mess – the same confused mess that had kept her from sleeping the night before.

She knew that she had deserved her mother's tirade. She knew that she had been nearly impossible to live with since coming home for the holidays. She knew that she had been acting the part of the spoiled brat.

But, it didn't make the words hurt any less.

She had been struggling with herself, trying to decide what to do. The fragile peace that she and her mother had declared had carried them through Christmas day, but Laura knew that it would never make it through the time she had left at home. She knew that she needed to talk to her mother – really _talk_. She needed to make her understand how she felt … and, she was realizing for the first time, she needed to understand how her mother felt as well.

She knew what she needed to do. It was actually doing it that was the challenge.

She rolled back onto her stomach. Maybe she could wait until she had finished reading the assigned chapter in her Potions textbook.

* * *

Two hours later, all Laura's homework was done. She no longer had an excuse to put off the inevitable talk with her mother. Sighing, she heaved herself off her bed and slowly made her way downstairs to find her mother – which did not take as nearly long as she had hoped.

"Mum?"

Dana looked up from her case files to see her daughter standing nervously in the doorway to the study. "Yes, darling?"

Laura took this as an invitation to enter; she stepped into the room. "Can we talk?"

Dana's eyebrows shot up. "Of course. Have a seat."

Laura sat down on the couch and faced her mother, folding her hands in her lap. "I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry," she began. "I've thought about what you said yesterday, and you were right. I have been acting like a spoiled brat, and I shouldn't have taken all my feelings out on you and Grandma."

Dana looked positively shocked. "I … Laura, I know that it took a lot for you to say that. Thank you."

"But, Mum, I want you to understand how _I_ feel, too."

Dana nodded, inviting her to continue.

Laura drew a deep breath. "I know that Pierre and I have broken up, but, for a time, I really cared about him. And, I know how much that upset you. I guess … Mum, I really hate that. I hate that you hated him just because he was my boyfriend. I hate that you can't accept the fact he and I had a relationship." She bit her lip. "I hate the fact that I had to hide our relationship from you."

"Laura," Dana sighed. "Sweetheart, I never, never want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. Even if you think that it would upset me or that I'd be angry with you, I want you to know that you can tell me what's going on in your life. You can share your thoughts, your feelings …" she gave a wry smile, "and even the names of your boyfriends."

Laura looked confused. "You've always seemed like you didn't want to know things like that."

"Why wouldn't I? I know that you're old enough to have a boyfriend."

"What?" Laura exclaimed, jumping out of her seat. "That's certainly not how you've been acting all this time! Ever since I first told you about Pierre –"

"Stop," Dana said, holding up a hand. "Sit down."

Laura sat back down and looked at her mother mutinously.

"Laura, I will readily admit that I hated the idea of you having a boyfriend at first. Even at the end, I didn't like to think of you being old enough to date." She smiled a bittersweet smile. "You're my little girl, and, in some ways, it's hard for me to realize how grown up you've become." She reached across to touch Laura's cheek. "You're an intelligent, talented, beautiful girl, and I know that you probably have boys begging you to date them all the time. I hope that I've managed to teach you enough to help you choose the right one."

"You have, Mum," Laura whispered.

Dana smiled. "If there's one thing that I've realized, it's that my friends and Grandma are all wise people. And, they've all, in their own ways, helped me to see how much I trust you. I do trust you, Laura. I know that the one you choose to give your heart to is incredibly lucky – and I know that I'll love him."

Laura smiled. "Well, that's no one right now."

"And, that's fine, too," Dana said. "As long as you're happy, love, that's all that matters to me. Whether you're dating anyone or not is truly irrelevant."

"Good."

"But, we need a few ground rules," Dana cautioned.

Laura rolled her eyes. "And I thought we were doing so well."

"We are," Dana smiled. "First, you need to let me know when you start dating someone. I don't want all details of your relationship – I don't need to know his shoe size – but a name would be nice."

"Done," Laura smiled.

"And, second, I'd like you to show some restraint and self-control. I can't control what you do when you're away from home, but there will be no snogging … or anything else … when you're in my house. Agreed?"

Laura's eyes widened, wondering how her mother could end her list of physical limitations like that. "Agreed."

Dana smiled, knowing what was going through her head. "Laura, I trust you," she said firmly. "You know how I feel about physical relationships and all that I've tried to teach you. You're a bright girl, and you have a good head on your shoulders. I know that you'll make the right decisions."

"I'll try, Mum," Laura said earnestly, meaning it more than she had meant anything in a long time. "I'll do my best. I want you to be proud of me."

"Oh, sweetheart," Dana smiled, "I already am."

* * *

Olivia and Remus had never spent so long eating lunch. They both knew what they were doing and they both knew that they should stop stalling, but neither of them made a move to do so. Finally, they knew there was no way they could possibly take any more time with their meal.

"I guess this is it," Olivia said as they finally put all the clean dishes, which had been washed the Muggle way, back into the cupboard. "We have to face the music."

Remus looked her sympathetically. "I think you probably have it harder than me."

"Damn straight, I do," Olivia laughed. "I don't know what you're so worried about."

"Yes, you do," Remus said quietly.

"Fair enough," she sighed. "All right, Remus, we have to do this. We'll meet back here tonight to do the post mortem."

"Right," he agreed. "Good luck."

"To you, too."

With that, she Disapparated, going straight to her brother's office.

John was sitting at his desk when his sister appeared in his office. He dropped his quill and jumped a mile at the sight of her.

"Good grief, Liv!" he exclaimed. "Don't you believe in _knocking_?"

"Not when I have something this important to say," she replied. She glanced at his closed door. "Is that locked?"

John shook his head. "Why would it be?"

"We don't want to be overheard," she said, aiming her wand at the door to seal out unwanted visitors.

John tensed up. "Have you come to continue on about what an awful Head I am?"

"Oh, John," she sighed, sitting down across his desk from him. "I've come to apologize. I never should have said the things that I did. I was just angry that you were insulting my team, and most importantly, that you were insulting Tonks. She works so hard and she's done such a good job – I was terrified that you would take her away." She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry, John. I never meant to hurt you. I was completely out of line. If there was a way to take it all back, I would."

He looked out the window for a long minute, then looked back at his sister. "I wouldn't."

"You wouldn't what?" she asked in confusion.

"I wouldn't take it back," he said quietly. "How can I fault you for being right? How can I fault you for telling the truth?"

"John," she said, but he waved her silent.

"I know what they're saying in the department, Livie. I know what our performance ratings are. I know what our effectiveness ratings are." He looked down, then back up. "I know that I don't have a clue how to improve any of it."

"John," she said again, "you don't have to be so hard on yourself." She smiled slightly. "That's what you have me for."

He refused to smile back; his eyes only reflected pain and disappointment. "Liv, ever since I started Auror training, I've idolized Moody. I always wanted to be like him. I always wanted his approval. Even getting married was a bit hard for me, because I know how he feels about Aurors having personal lives."

She frowned. "What does Moody have to do with this?"

"Moody recommended me for this position," John admitted. "He told Scrimgeour that I'd be a good leader, that I was beyond qualified, that I was the natural choice … Moody is the reason that I became Head. And, I've let him down, Livie. I've completely disappointed him."

"John," Olivia said firmly, "has Moody _told_ you that you've disappointed him?"

"He doesn't need to," John said miserably. "I know that he expected more of me than this."

"Did he tell you what he expected of you?"

"I don't think that he expected me to ruin the department as I have."

"Maybe," Olivia admitted. "But, I don't think that he expected you to be perfect from your first day, either. We all make mistakes, John. Even Moody."

"We don't have time to make mistakes!" John exclaimed. "Not now! Not when we're in the middle of a war!"

"Moody said during training that mistakes are acceptable as long as you learn from them," Olivia said.

"I'm not a trainee anymore."

"And," Olivia continued as if he had not spoken, "I seem to remember you telling me that to do the same thing repeatedly and to expect different results is a sign of insanity."

John smiled, thinking of their childhood. "That's only because you would always try to punch my face when you were far too short to reach."

"But, don't you think that applies here?" Olivia asked. "You split up the teams once. You reassigned everyone once. Did it work?"

"Sort of," John mumbled.

"If it wasn't successful, why would you do it again? Learn from your mistake, John. Don't be insane about it. Try a different approach. Maybe something else will work better."

John sighed and ran his hands over his face. "I'm in over my head, Liv."

"No, you're not," she said firmly. "You're just overwhelmed, that's all. You can do this. You can still save the department."

"I can't do this alone."

"Well, will they let you appoint assistants?" Olivia suggested. "Pick a few senior Aurors, or maybe even retired Aurors, and have them work as your advisors."

"Actually …"

"What?"

He gave her a hesitant smile. "I have someone in mind already."

"Great," she said. "Who is it?"

He paused. "You."

Olivia's eyes opened wide as her jaw dropped. "Me?"

"Yes, you," John replied, smiling. "Livie, you're one of the most talented Aurors this department has. I know that I should use you in the field. I know that you're far better suited to guarding Hogwarts than to doing deskwork, but I'm asking you to consider doing it for me. I'm asking you to considering working in the office with me to help me dig this department out of the hole I've sunk it into."

She looked at him with wide eyes. Only one question came to mind; she couldn't stop herself from asking it. "Will I still be able to do fieldwork?"

"Yes," John said. "I won't need you in the office every day; I'd hope that I could put you back completely into the field after a few months. I just …" The broken look came into his eyes again. "I don't know what to do, Liv. I trust you and I know that with your talent, you'd be able to run this department. I'm just asking that you share a bit of your ability with me. Will you? Please?"

Looking into her older brother's tortured eyes, knowing how difficult it was for him to admit all this to her, to ask for her help, she knew there was only one answer she could give.

"Yes. I'll help you. I'll do anything I can."

His facial features relaxed with relief. "Thank you, Livie. Thank you so much."

* * *

Remus stood outside Tonks's front door for at least five minutes before working up the courage to knock. Finally, he rapped his knuckles against the wood. He felt immediate regret, then shame. Why was he so terrified to face her? They were _friends_. Friends were supposed to want to see one another.

"Who is it?"

"It's Remus, Tonks," he called through the door.

There was a moment's hesitation, then the door slowly opened. Tonks's fingers gripped the door as though it were the only thing holding her up. Remus looked at her with compassion, taking in the pale face, the thin frame, the mousy hair that had been pulled back from her face. Her pale eyes were huge in her thin face; they looked at him with questions.

"Remus," she almost whispered. "I – I didn't expect to see you."

"Yeah," Remus said awkwardly. "Look, Tonks, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, but –"

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly. "Come in, please."

She opened the door wider, and Remus stepped into her flat. She led him into the living room; Remus was surprised to see that she had rearranged the furniture since his last visit.

"You've changed your set up," he commented.

"Yeah," she said. "I get bored with the furniture about three times a year and have to move it all. Thank goodness for magic, right?"

"Of course," Remus said. He had barely heard the words; he found himself lost in the depths of her eyes. Without meaning to, without even realizing he was doing it, he stepped closer to her.

"How have you been?" she asked, slowly moving to sit down on the couch.

"Okay, I guess," he said, sitting down next to her. "You?"

She smiled wryly. "I've been chasing after teenagers. You should know all about that."

"Do you like them?"

"Of course," she said.

They both fell silent, each lost in the other's eyes. Remus knew this was wrong. He knew they needed to stop. He knew he needed to break this eye contact.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't make himself stop. So, he acted on his only other impulse.

He kissed her.

It wasn't a gentle kiss. He put his hands on her cheeks and pressed his lips against hers with a primal hunger that she responded to instantly. Her hands went to his shoulders, trying to pull him closer as her tongue tangled with his. He responded to her need, moving his hands to her waist to bring her closer to him. Neither of them knew how it happened, but Tonks found her way to his lap; she sat facing him with one knee on either side of him.

Tonks moaned as his hands ran down her entire back, coming to rest on her bottom, and his lips moved to kiss her neck. She tangled her hands in his hair, then slid them down the length of his torso. She rocked her hips back and forth against him, eliciting a moan from him.

"Tonks," he moaned against her hair, clutching her to him, kissing her neck.

"Please, Remus," she moaned, rocking against him. "Please."

He covered her lips with his again. She broke the kiss, trailing her lips down his chin and neck. His hands moved from her back to her front. After touching her for a moment, he tipped her chin up so that she was facing him again. She looked at him with lust, yes, but with a love that he could not deny, a love that he was sure was reflected in his own eyes. Swallowing hard, he kissed her again, knowing that it would be for the last time.

"Tonks, we need to stop," he said once the kiss was broken.

"What?" she said a bit hazily.

"We need to stop," he repeated.

She looked at him for a moment. "You can't tell me you don't want this as much as I do," she said in a whisper, rocking her hips against his to emphasis her point. "I know you want me."

"I do," he whispered.

"Then why are you stopping us?"

"Because it isn't fair to either of us," he said miserably. "Tonks, you know how I feel about this. You know that I don't think we can be together. If … Tonks, I will not do that to you. I will not use you like that and just walk away. It's not right and I won't do it."

"Will you stop being so bloody noble?" she cried, jumping off his lap. "Dammit, Remus! If this is what we both want, why stop us? Why can't we have a relationship?"

"You know how I feel," he said, standing up to look her in the eye. "I'm too old for you, I don't have any money, I'm a bloody _werewolf_ …"

"Well, in case you missed it, I'm not really too concerned with any of those things," she spat. "I don't see why you insist upon creating all these obstacles to our happiness!"

"Tonks, it just wouldn't work," he argued. "We're too different."

"You're too stubborn," she countered.

"I could say the same about you."

"Then maybe we're not all that different."

"Cute. Excellent job of trapping me with my own words."

Tonks sighed. "Remus, for the love of God, please just kiss me again."

He looked at her with tortured eyes. "And, what exactly is there to be gained from that?"

She shrugged. "Physical pleasure."

"Tonks …"

"Remus, please," she begged. "I know nothing will come of this. I know we'll never have a real relationship. I even know that we're not going to shag. I just … God, Remus, I just want you to kiss me, to touch me, to love me, even if it's just for a few minutes."

He stepped closer to her, hating himself for what he was about to do. He put his hands on her waist and bent his head to kiss her.

This kiss, in sharp contrast to their previous kiss, was sweet and gentle. After several moments, Remus pulled back to look at her. Tears stood in her eyes.

"I do love you," he whispered.

Her tears spilled over as a sob escaped.

"But, that's why I have to leave." He kissed her one last time.

He stepped back from her to Disapparate. His last sight before he disappeared was of Tonks, standing in the middle of her living room with tears streaming down her face. He hated himself for making her cry yet again, but there was no way to fix it. What was done was done.


	44. Repercussions

A/N: What a long time it's been! I'm so sorry for the ridiculous delay…aside from the work issues, I had some computer problems that required a brand new laptop to fix! So, yay for my new computer, and yay for the new chapter!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Repercussions

"Hi."

Olivia took one look at Remus's distraught face and sighed. "What did you do to her this time?"

Remus sat down and buried his face in his hands. "I told her that I love her."

Olivia stared at him in wonder. "What?" she whispered.

Remus looked up miserably. "I told her that I love her," he repeated.

"Remus!" Olivia exclaimed. She ran across the room and jumped onto the couch next to him. "Congratulations!" she yelled, throwing her arms around him. "I knew you could do it!"

"Liv, please," he muttered.

She pulled back and looked at him in surprise. "You just told the woman you've been in love with for quite some time how you feel. You're supposed to be considerably happier than you are right now."

"How can I be happy?" Remus asked miserably. "I've ruined everything."

"You do realize that you're being a drama queen, right?" Olivia asked with a hint of a smile.

"Don't joke, Liv."

She sighed again. "Remus, what is so terrible about telling her that you love her?"

"I walked away from her," he said. "I told her that I love her, and I bolted out the door."

"Well, it's not exactly what most women want to see happen …"

"But it's what _always_ happens between Tonks and me," Remus said. "She wants me to love her, and I do, which she now knows, but I won't let her throw her life away on me. She ends up hating me for 'creating obstacles' to our relationship, and I …" He trailed off into silence.

"And you?" Olivia prompted quietly.

Remus was silent for a moment, staring at the floorboards. When he spoke, his eyes refused to meet Olivia's and his voice was no more than a whisper. "I hate her for making me fall in love again."

"Remus," Olivia whispered, taking his hand in hers.

He shook his head. "I wish it could be different."

"Don't you see?" Olivia said. "It _can_ be! You don't have to feel guilty for loving her. Laura died years ago, Remus. She didn't expect you to remain faithful to her memory. You know that. You told me how she felt about that."

"I know," Remus said. "It's not Laura's memory that's stopping me – not the way that you think."

"Enlighten me."

He sighed. "Do you think that I didn't know what she went through with me? All the transformations, all the broken furniture and smashed walls … all the bandages, all the pain, all the bruises, all the days when she couldn't touch me for fear of hurting me more than I had hurt myself … I don't want Tonks to have to live through that. I don't want her to be a werewolf's wife."

"She's strong enough to do it, Remus. We both know she is."

"Tonks is one of the strongest people I've ever known," he said quickly. "I'm not suggesting that she isn't strong enough to deal with me. I just don't want her to have to."

"You're not afraid that you would hurt her, are you?" Olivia asked slowly.

"Physically? A bit … but not really. Laura and I were together for years, and I never hurt her. But, emotionally – yes. I am afraid." He drew a deep breath.

"She's not as emotionally fragile as you think."

Remus shook his head and looked away again. "Laura was wonderful, you know. She would leave the night of the full moon to stay with Lily while James came to stay with me. Then, she'd come home in the morning to find her husband unconscious and in terrible pain." Tears filled his eyes. "She was a saint. She would bandage me up and put me back together every single month. She never, never complained about it." He finally raised his eyes to meet Olivia's again. "But, Liv, I could see how much pain it caused her to see me in pain like that. I don't want Tonks to have to live though what Laura did. I don't want to cause her that kind of pain."

"Remus," Olivia whispered. "Don't you think …?"

"I'm tired of thinking," he interrupted. "Can't we just sit in silence for awhile?"

"Okay."

Olivia laced her fingers through his, and put her head down on his shoulder. He smiled slightly, then laid his cheek on top of her head.

And they sat like that in silence.

* * *

Tonks's hands covered her face as she sobbed. Hot tears squeezed out between her fingers and ran over the backs of her hands. How could he do this to her? How could she let him do this to her _again_?

She sat down on the couch and tried to stop crying. She couldn't let him turn her into a crying mess every time she saw him. It just wasn't healthy.

"I have a mission to run," she said, exhaling deeply and wiping away her tears. "I can't go to pieces like this. I have a school to defend."

She stood and went to her desk, ready to work out a new plan of defense for the school. This had to be a plan that no poisoned necklace could destroy.

* * *

"Do you feel better?" Olivia asked quietly after a time.

"I suppose," Remus said. He kissed the top of her head and sat up straighter. "How did things go with John? Tell me all about it."

"Actually, things with John went quite well. It's things with Tonks that I'm worried about."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"John … John admitted that he doesn't know how to run the department."

"Wow," Remus said, his eyes growing round. "That's pretty major."

"Yeah, I thought so. But, he said that he's realized that he needs help."

Understanding slowly dawned on Remus's face. "Are you saying …?"

Olivia nodded. "He's asked me to leave the Hogwarts mission so that I can help him run the department."

"And you said yes." It wasn't a question. Remus knew that Olivia would do anything for her older brother.

"How could I say no?" she asked quietly. "And I don't regret it. The only thing I'm worried about is how Tonks will take it."

"Is John going to tell her?"

"Knowing him, he'll send her a memo." She shook her head. "I want to tell her myself."

"I'm not sure that now would be the best time to do that."

"Yeah," Olivia said quietly. "You're probably right. But, I can't put it off. I'm supposed to be back at Hogwarts tomorrow."

Remus sighed. "Well, be gentle."

"Thanks for that bit of brilliance," she said sarcastically. "Without you here to help me, I'd probably just pop in and scream it at her."

"Must you always be that way?" Remus sighed.

She grinned at him as she got up off the couch. "You wouldn't love me half as much if I wasn't like this."

He smiled almost against his will. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Ah, yes, breaking the already broken heart of Tonks," she said. She blew Remus a kiss. "I'll see you soon, darling."

With that, she Disapparated. Remus shook his head, wondering if Olivia found him as exhausting as he sometimes found her.

* * *

"Who is it?"

"It's Olivia, Tonks," Olivia said, lowering the hand that had just rapped on Tonks's front door. "May I come in?"

The door opened slowly, revealing Tonks's pale, drawn face. She looked at Olivia suspiciously.

"Are you here to plead Remus's case?"

Olivia smiled slightly. "No. I've talked to him, but he didn't ask me to come here. This has nothing to do with him."

"All right, then," Tonks said, opening the door wider, inviting Olivia to enter. "I'm sorry, but I really can't stand the idea of talking about him right now."

"Understood," Olivia said, holding up her hands. "Remus and I have been friends since we were little kids, and sometimes _I_ don't feel like talking about him."

A ghost of a smile flitted across Tonks's face. "What can I do for you?" she asked, leading Olivia to the living room.

Olivia sighed as she and Tonks sat down together on the couch. "Tonks, I've been to see John."

"Oh?" Tonks had absolutely no idea where this was going.

"Yeah. We had some issues to discuss … I sort of blew up at him on Christmas and told him that the department would be better off without him."

"You didn't," Tonks whispered, her eyes wide with shock. "I'll bet that went well."

"Yeah, it was ugly," Olivia acknowledged. "And, while I do think it's true, he's my brother, so I had to try to smooth things over. So, I went to see him today."

"And?"

"He agreed that the department isn't in the best shape."

"Wow," Tonks said, running her hand through her limp hair. "I didn't expect you to say _that_."

"I didn't expect to hear it," Olivia agreed. "Here's the thing, Tonks – he wants to try to fix it."

"That's great!" she said enthusiastically. "Did he tell you what he plans to do?"

"Yeah." She paused and bit her lip. "He wants help to run the department. My help."

Realization dawned in Tonks's eyes, and her face fell. "I suppose it's too much to hope for to suggest that he wants you to work on two assignments at once."

"I'm so sorry, Tonks," Olivia said, feeling inexplicable tears sting the backs of her eyes. "I've loved working with you, and I've loved defending the school, but this is my brother asking for my help. I can't say no to him – I've never been able to say no to him." She wiped her hand across her eyes. "I just wish I could help him and stay here with you at the same time."

Tonks grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "You do what you need to do, Liv. This isn't just better for your brother, it's better for your career. If you can help straighten out this mess of a department, it will certainly recommend you to take over as Head when John retires."

Olivia's eyes widened. "I wasn't thinking that far ahead."

Tonks shrugged. "It's true, though. And I know you'll be able to do a lot to help. You're a brilliant Auror."

"So are you," Olivia said. "I know that whoever they send in to replace me will really benefit from working with you."

"Thanks," Tonks said with a slight smile.

"Listen, I need to get back," Olivia said, squeezing Tonks's hand one last time. "I just wanted to tell you what's happening in person."

"Thank you," Tonks said, rising to see her guest to the door. "You have no idea how much I appreciate that."

Olivia smiled. "And, I know I promised not to talk about him, but what Remus told you today is true. He really does love you."

Unbidden tears filled Tonks's eyes. "Yeah, well, he has a funny way of showing it."

Olivia smiled sadly and hugged her. "I'm so sorry, Tonks. About everything."

"Thanks," Tonks whispered, clinging to her for a moment. When she pulled back, she gave Olivia a slight smile. "Good luck with your new mission."

"Thanks. Good luck to you, too."

Tonks smiled again, and held the door for Olivia to leave. Once Olivia was gone and the door closed firmly behind her, the smile slid off Tonks's face.

"Shit," she whispered. "What am I going to do now?"

Refusing to even consider thinking about Remus, she sat back down with her reams of parchment full of strategies. With Olivia soon to be replaced, she was going to need to rethink all that she had planned.

* * *

Olivia reentered her house to find Remus packing a suitcase. She looked at him in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing," he replied.

"Thanks, Master of the Obvious," she said, rolling her eyes. "Let me ask a better question: _Why_ are you packing?"

"I need to get back to my mission," he said simply. "I've been gone about as long as I can be without raising suspicions."

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I can be ready."

Olivia sighed and sat down on his bed. "Are you at least going to tell Tonks good bye?"

"I think I've done enough to her for one day, don't you?" he asked, raising eyes filled with pain to meet hers.

"Remus …"

"Please, Liv, don't. Just let me pack my things, tell you good bye, and vanish back into the realm of my equals."

"Don't you ever say that, Remus Lupin," she said fiercely. "You know you're far better than them."

"What gives me the right to say that?" he asked.

"Remus," she began again.

"Stop," he said. "I'm just in a mood, Liv, and, to be honest, can you blame me?"

She sighed as he snapped his suitcase closed. "When will you be back?"

He shrugged. "Whenever I can get away." He hugged her close. "I'm going to miss you, Liv. I wish I could be here to watch you whip the Aurors into shape."

She laughed against him. "I wish you were going to be here, too. I'll miss you so much."

He squeezed her tightly, then kissed her cheek. "I'll see you when I see you."

"Right," she said. "Take care of yourself."

"I will," he promised. "You do the same."

She nodded.

He gave her one last smile, and Disapparated.

* * *

_To: N. Tonks_

_From: J. Alexander_

_RE: Hogwarts Mission Staff_

_I must inform you that O. Alexander will be removed from your mission effective immediately. She has been reassigned to a mission within the Ministry. This is not a reflection on your management skills; I simply feel that her talents would be better used elsewhere. _

_At this time, there are no available Aurors to replace her. I know this is inconvenient, but it is an unavoidable problem. I am certain that you will find a way to work with the somewhat diminished crew._

_Thank you for your cooperation._

Rage filled Tonks. By the time she reached the last line of John's memo, she could barely read it as the parchment jumped under her shaking hands. She clenched and unclenched her jaw.

"He must be joking," she said. "This must be some sick, twisted joke."

But, even as she spoke the words, she knew it wasn't a joke. John Alexander did not joke about many things, and never about his job. He was taking Olivia to serve his own needs, and shorting her one Auror in the process.

"Damn you, you bloody _bastard_!" she screamed, balling up the memo and throwing it across the room.

She needed to get out. And she knew just whom to recruit to accompany her.

* * *

Remus entered his small house in the colony and set his suitcase on the floor. He sighed as he looked around. Everything was just as he had left it. He had managed to garner so much apathy from the others in the colony that they didn't even feel the need to vandalize his house while he was away.

He went into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. As he crossed the front room, he noticed an envelop lying on the floor. He assumed that it had come through the mail slot and slid to its current home.

He picked it up and immediately recognized Maureen's neat, small handwriting. Smiling slightly, he opened it.

"_Dear Remus,_

"_I just wanted to let you know that I'm back. When you get all settled in, come around to say hello. I have so much to tell you!_

"_We'll talk soon._

"_Maureen"_

He smiled to himself as continued on his way into the kitchen. He put the letter on the table and went to retrieve a kettle. As much as he hated the idea of being back here, of leaving Tonks the way he had, seeing this letter from Maureen made him feel a bit better.

It was wonderful to have friends.

* * *

An hour after receiving the memo from John, Tonks was seated at a back table in the Three Broomsticks with Kingsley. Each of them had a butterbeer on the table – not that it was having the intended effect of making Tonks calmer.

"I really do appreciate the fact that Olivia came to tell me herself," she said, "but I'm sure she only did it because she knew how her brother would tell me!"

"She's not his keeper, Tonks," Kingsley said. "She wanted to tell you in person because she's a good person. She's your friend, and she was concerned about you."

"Regardless," Tonks said, waving that aside, "it doesn't change what happened. Why the bloody hell would John think that it's a good idea to take Aurors _away_ from me? He knows as well as I do that Hogwarts isn't exactly getting any safer!"

"Things are calming down, though, aren't they?"

"What, you mean since a girl nearly _died_ on my watch?"

"Tonks, it turned out okay. Katie's going to be fine."

"Yes, because there was just _one, small_ tear in her glove," she said. "Because of that tear, she nearly died."

"Because of that tear, Dumbledore is safe," Kingsley countered. "Look, Tonks, I'm not trying to put a price on human life. I'm not trying to say that Dumbledore is more important that Katie – I'm sure he'd say that she's more important than he is. But, the reality is, you don't have control over everything that happens. This necklace thing could have gone so many ways. It could have been someone else who picked it up. Someone who wasn't wearing gloves. You can't be everywhere all the time."

"I know," she said. "And, now, thanks to John, I can't even be most places most of the time. UGH!" She gave a shriek and slammed her bottle back down on the table. "I can't believe he would leave me with one less Auror!"

"You can make this work," Kingsley said evenly. "I know you can make this work. _You_ know you can make this work. So, the question is, why exactly are you so angry?"

Tonks opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Kingsley's deep baritone.

"You're angry at Remus," he said. "You're angry that he would make this declaration of love and leave you alone. You're angry that he won't give you a chance to make it work with him. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't be. Believe me, I think you're totally justified in your rage. But, you can't take it out on John or the Aurors who work on your team. You have to channel this anger toward Remus, and you have to find some way to deal with it, because, from what I hear, you won't have a chance to throw it in his face any time soon."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Kingsley looked at her sympathetically. "He's gone back to the colony."

"What?" she whispered, the blood draining from her face. "Why would he go back there?"

"It's his job, love."

"Yeah, but …" She trailed off and bit her lip. "He didn't even come to tell me good bye."

Somehow, that one fact hurt more than anything else he had done.

* * *

After having his tea and unpacking his belongings, Remus made his way to Maureen's house. He knocked on the door, and only waited a moment before it was flung open. Remus frowned slightly, thinking that she should have waited to make sure it was him before opening the door.

"Remus! You're back!"

She hugged him and drew him into the house. He felt a smile replacing the frown as she began to talk quickly, asking how his trip was and if he wanted tea.

They sat together in her kitchen, drinking tea while she shared stories about her family and friends. When she finally paused, she looked at him closely.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"Of course," he said, hating himself for letting it be so obvious. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," she said slowly. "You're just awfully quiet, that's all."

He sighed. "It's been a rough day."

"What happened?" she asked sympathetically, thinking that the others in the colony had done something to hurt him.

"It was stupid, really," he said. "I had a … a moment of weakness, and now I've left everything in a mess."

"You know, I've never been a fan of riddles."

Remus sighed. "You asked me before I left if I was going home to 'someone special.' I told you no, because I really didn't believe that I was. But …"

"I knew there was someone," she said softly.

He nodded. "I finally admitted that I love her."

"What are you doing here, then?" Maureen exclaimed. "You shouldn't be here with me, you should be with her!"

"It's … complicated."

"Love is supposed to be complicated."

"She's not a werewolf," he said quietly. "I can't bring her here, and I can't be there right now, so we're better off as friends."

"You told her that you love her, but that you can just be friends?"

"That's about it."

She shook her head. "I'll never understand men."

"You know, I've already gotten this lecture from my friends at home about a million times. Can we please just skip it?"

She shrugged. "You brought it up. If you don't like the course of the conversation, you're going to have to blame yourself."

"You're right," he sighed. "So, tell me all the neighborhood gossip. I'm sure you've got something for me."

Maureen began to talk about the others in the colony. Remus took copious mental notes as she spoke, knowing that anything he learned about his neighbors could only help him later.

He was ready to complete his mission. He needed to work harder than he ever had – he needed to do something to keep his mind off the heartbroken girl he had left behind.


	45. Relief, Horror and Relief

A/N: As always, I apologize for the wait for this one. I hope it's worth it.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing.

I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

Relief, Horror and Relief

"So, how is it, working with John?" Dana asked, sitting down with Olivia at her kitchen table.

Olivia shrugged, and grabbed one of the cookies Dana had put on the table. "Okay, I guess. He's really lost about what to do with the department, so he's taking my suggestions to heart."

"What are you suggesting?"

"The first thing we're going to do is to interview all the Aurors. I want to know what's good about the department and what's bad. We're also going over all the personnel files, trying to see where each Auror can be the most effective. I'm not advocating moving everyone again like he did when he came in, but if there are some people who are not necessarily in the best place, I think they need to be shifted."

Dana nodded, smiling at the way Olivia's eyes lit up as she spoke. "You sound as if you're really enjoying this."

"You know, Dana, I am," she said a bit incredulously. "I thought that I would hate every minute of it, but it's nothing like I expected." She shrugged. "I'd never give up field work altogether, but I can see why a position like this would be appealing."

Dana opened her mouth to reply, but stopped as an owl flew through the window. She smiled warmly as she took the letter from it.

"That's Laura's owl, isn't it?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Dana replied. "She writes to me far more regularly now – after our talk at Christmas."

"I'm so glad," Olivia smiled. "She's a good girl, Dana – she's just being a teenager."

"I sort of wish we could have skipped that stage," Dana grinned. She looked down at the unopened letter she had placed on the table.

"Well, open it!" Olivia laughed. "I want to hear about what she's doing, too!"

Laughing, Dana picked up the letter and broke the seal. She began reading while Olivia watched.

"Don't I get to hear any of it?" Olivia laughed.

"Well, she says her classes are getting harder," Dana said. "I suppose that makes sense, given where she is in school. And Adèle and Carine are panicking over all the work they have to do … they both say hello." She looked up with a smile. "They really are sweet girls. I'm glad Laura found them as friends."

"Yeah, I like them," Olivia agreed, thinking of the few times she had met Laura's friends.

"Théo says hello, too," Dana said, returning to her letter. "She says that he's the one who's not stressed over school – he says there are 'more important things than exams.'"

Olivia laughed. "I see that Théo is to her what James and Sirius were to Remus."

"And what you were to Lily, Kathleen and I," Dana smiled. Her eyes dropped as she began reading again, then widened in surprise.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"She says … she has a new boyfriend," Dana said slowly.

"Really?" Olivia smiled. "That's great. What's his name?"

"Mathieu," Dana replied. "She says he's so much better than Pierre – absolutely wonderful, in fact. And that he's very handsome. And that she's sure I would love him." Her eyes widened even further. "She says she wants me to meet him," she whispered.

"Dana, do you realize how fantastic this is?" Olivia said, trying to stem the panic that she could see rising in Dana's face. "She wouldn't tell you about Pierre forever, and she didn't have any real desire for you meet him. It seems like she's doing a complete turn around with Mathieu."

"I suppose you're right," Dana said. She sighed. "I guess I was just hoping to have my little girl back for a bit longer."

"I'm afraid that your little girl is growing up," Olivia said. "But, really, Dana, would you want her to be a child forever?"

"Of course not," Dana said. She smiled. "You're right. She's confiding in me, and she's trusting me, which is a vast improvement. I'd far rather this than the secrecy she preferred before."

"You'd better write her back and tell her that," Olivia said.

"Well, I won't put it quite like that," Dana smiled. "But, I will tell her that I'm glad she was able to move on, that Mathieu sounds wonderful … and that I'm proud of her."

Olivia smiled. "I'm proud of _you_, Dana. You're a great mum."

"Thanks," Dana smiled.

* * *

"What are your plans for the weekend?" Maureen asked Remus as they sat in his living room together, sipping tea and chatting.

"I'm not sure yet," Remus admitted.

"You need more of a social life," Maureen giggled.

"You sound like my goddaughter."

"She must be very wise."

"Yes … for a fifteen-year-old."

Maureen giggled again. "Ah, well, I suppose she's wise beyond her years, then."

Remus shook his head. "So, are you planning to go to the bar again this Friday?" he asked. The vast majority of the werewolves in the colony all gathered at the local bar on Friday evenings for their own version of happy hour.

Maureen nodded. "You should come with me. At the risk of sounding cliché, everyone who's anyone is there, and, Remus, you really are getting to be a loner."

"Getting to be?" Remus laughed. "I've been a loner ever since I moved in! No one wants anything to do with a werewolf who's tried to live as a human."

"I know it's tough, but I think that you could win them over if you tried."

"I've love to win them over," Remus said with feeling.

"Then come with me this Friday," Maureen encouraged. "It's always a good time, and you're bound to make a good impression on _someone_."

"I don't know," Remus hesitated. "I just keep thinking of the last time I went in there. The reaction I got was like something out of a Muggle western."

Maureen smiled. "But, that was the day you met me. So, I guess not everything was horrible about it."

"You're giving yourself a lot of credit, you know," he teased.

"Well, excuse me for thinking that our friendship means something," she said, mocking heartbreak. She laughed. "I'll remember that comment."

Any reply that Remus would have given was cut off by a terrible shriek. They both jumped in their chairs. After exchanging one terrified look, they ran to the front window.

A man was being pulled to the center of town. People were following behind, and coming out of their houses to witness the spectacle.

"What's going on?" Maureen asked.

"I don't know," Remus said, shaking his head. "I've never seen anything like this." Indeed, in all the time he had spent gathering information about the colony, he had never observed this sort of violence.

"Come on," Maureen said, grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the door. "I want to know what's going on."

"Maureen, I don't think it's going to be good," Remus cautioned.

"I know," she said grimly, "but I want us to know what to avoid doing."

Remus sighed and nodded, then followed her out and to the center of town.

Greyback stood in the middle of the gathering crowd, staring with contempt at the man who was being held in place by two others who were considered elders within the colony. The prisoner's eyes were wide with fear. Greyback stepped closer to him and snapped his jaws at him. The man's eyes snapped shut and his face turned away.

"My friends," Greyback said, turning to include all those gathered in his greeting, "welcome. Thank you for coming out to see what can happen to those who defy me."

Maureen and Remus stood at the edge of the crowd, trying at once to see what was happening and to melt, unseen, into the crowd. Maureen edged closer to Remus. He looked down at her for a moment, and took her hand in a comforting gesture. She looked up and smiled at him, squeezing his hand supportively.

"This man," Greyback continued, "has only recently joined our family. He came to me almost immediately after being bitten, thereby showing his commitment to fully embracing our way of life. I was impressed with him from the very first."

Remus felt his face growing warm. He wished there was a way to make himself invisible. For the first time in a long time, he thought longingly of James's old cloak.

"However, I am sorry to report that my trust in our new friend has been misplaced." Contempt filled Greyback's dark eyes as he turned to look at the poor man in question. "I learned today that he was not willing to _fully_ embrace our lifestyle. It appears that he has been carrying on a romantic relationship with a woman who does not live here – one who is not one of us."

Murmurs and gasps ran throughout the group at these words. Angry eyes were turned toward the prisoner as the crowd fully digested the information Greyback had shared.

Remus's blood ran cold. Maureen, feeling the clamminess in his hand, turned to look at him with concern. Remus could feel her eyes on him, but refused to look at her. He kept his unseeing eyes facing straight ahead, trained on Greyback and his victim.

"We must make him pay," Greyback spat with a venom that permeated the group.

With those words, he pounced. He jumped on the man, attacking him with a savageness that Remus equated with wild animals. The man, held fast by Greyback's cronies, was powerless to fight back. His shrieks filled the night air; he could not even be drowned out by the cheers from the crowd.

Remus stared at the sight with a fascinated horror; his mouth dropped open and his eyes rounded as he watched. He wanted desperately to help the man; his Healer training kicked in as he thought of all that he could do to fix his wounds. Yet, his sense of self-preservation was even stronger; it kept him rooted in his spot.

Maureen tugged on his sleeve. He looked down at her with questions in his eyes.

"Let's go," she said, her face a bit green. "I can't take watching this."

Nodding, Remus led her away, back to her house. She opened the door with shaking hands and led him inside.

"Oh, that was horrible," she said, running her hands up and down her arms. "That was horrible."

The full impact of what they had witnessed hit Remus; his teeth began to chatter uncontrollably.

"Maureen … that could have been _me_."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "You've been under the radar from the very first."

"Yes, but …"

"Remus, don't," she said harshly, grabbing him by the arms. "Don't even think it."

"How can I not?"

"You told me that you're not dating this girl, right?"

"Right."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"I have everything to worry about," he said quietly. "I'm not ready to fully embrace this lifestyle, either."

"Well, you'd better be ready to fully act like you are," she replied. "I really don't think that Greyback is ready to give second chances."

* * *

"Thank you, Professor Snape, for that enlightening bit of information," Professor McGonagall said. Dumbledore was mysteriously absent, leaving her to chair the Order meeting.

Olivia and Tonks looked at each other for a brief moment, then looked away. They both felt that Snape was withholding large amounts of information from the Order. His reports at their meetings had become more and more vague, and there was something about him that gave him an air of deception. However, they had no proof of any wrongdoing on his part, and, as Remus had pointed out more than once, trusting Dumbledore meant trusting Snape. They grudgingly gave him their trust, both secretly hoping that it had not been misplaced.

"I'd like to give you the updated intelligence report," McGonagall continued

Tonks winced slightly. She hated McGonagall's reports. She always spoke of the latest attacks, reports of planned future attacks and skirmishes between the Death Eaters and the Order or the Death Eaters and the Ministry. All in all, her reports tended to be disheartening.

"We have recently received word of an attack within Greyback's colony," she stated flatly.

Tonks jumped in her chair. She turned to look at Olivia, whose face was rapidly losing color.

"Professor, who was attacked?" Olivia asked.

"I don't have the information," she replied. "All we know as of now was that it was a werewolf – and that he was attacked by Greyback himself."

Olivia flinched. "It wasn't …?"

"I've given you everything I have, Olivia," McGonagall said in a gentler-than-usual voice. "I'm sorry I don't know more."

With those words, Tonks felt her world fall apart.

* * *

Olivia raced home after the meeting, thinking of nothing other than making sure that Remus was safe. She didn't expect to see him there, but a small part of her hoped that he might be sitting in the living room, waiting for her. The reality of her empty flat quickly slapped her in the face.

"I have to get in touch with him," she said, sitting down to write to him. She knew that she would never be able to find the colony, and that even if she did manage to find it, she would be killed as soon as she entered. But, her owl would have no such problems.

After scrawling a quick message to Remus, she felt only slightly calmer. She wouldn't be fully calm again until Remus stepped through her door.

* * *

A deep and overriding sense of panic took hold of Tonks with McGonagall's announcement. Unlike Olivia, she couldn't bring herself to write to Remus. She was terrified of not getting a response. So, she instead went to the school in search of Dumbledore. She was certain that if anyone would know what had happened, it would be the Headmaster.

She didn't find Dumbledore, but she did run into Harry. She was far too upset to do more than register that he was there and that he was talking to her. The only thing that she remembered from their encounter was him saying that he hadn't heard from anyone in the Order recently. To her, it was like confirmation that Remus was dead. She couldn't imagine him not writing to his best friends' son.

She returned home, her panic replaced by sorrow. She entered her flat without caring if she was supposed to be on patrol or not. Without turning on any lights, she went straight to her couch. She curled up in a ball and wrapped a warm blanket around herself.

It was only then that she let the sobs tear from her throat and shake her body.

Remus – the man she loved – was gone.

* * *

Remus was alone in his house when Olivia's owl flew through an open window. He stroked her feathers as he took the letter.

"_Remus,_

"_Are you all right? McGonagall just told us at a meeting that there had been an attack in your neighborhood. I really just need to know that you're okay._

"_Love,_

"_Olivia_

"_PS – Tonks was at the meeting, too."_

The blood drained from Remus's face as he read her message again and again. There was only one course of action. He had to let them know that he was all right – and, somehow, just sending a letter didn't feel like it would be enough.

He wrote Maureen a note to tell her that he would be gone for a day or two. He knew that she would cover for him if need be. Then, he headed home.

* * *

Olivia wasn't in their flat when Remus arrived. Knowing that the logical thing to do would be to wait for her, he sat down on the couch. Agitation filled him; he wanted to see that she was all right as much as she wanted to know the same about him. Assuming that she would be at work, he headed for the Ministry.

He found her walking down a hall in the Auror division. She was carrying a ream of parchment and looked lost in thought.

"Liv," he said quietly.

Her head snapped up and her eyes locked with his. For a moment, she just stared at him. Then, giving a shriek of joy, she dropped the parchment she carried and jumped into his open arms.

"Oh, God, Remus, I was so scared!" she sobbed, clinging to him. "I was so afraid you had been attacked, that you had been … I'm so glad to see you!"

"I'm fine," he said over and over again, holding her tightly.

She finally pulled back and wiped her eyes, laughing shakily. "Maybe I should be banned from meetings."

"No," he said. "What she said was true. There was an attack."

Olivia's eyes rounded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Remus glanced around, noting how many Aurors had stopped working to watch their Head's sister sobbing over a friend. "Not now," he said quietly.

She nodded. "I get off at six."

"I'll see you at home, then."

"All right," she agreed, looking a bit reluctant to let him out of her sight. "Remus – until then – why don't you go see Tonks? She's as worried about you as I was."

He nodded slowly. "If you think I should."

"Remus, please," Olivia said. "I know that things are a mess between you, but she's been terrified. Please go show her that you're all right."

He nodded again, this time with certainty. "Okay. I'll go."

"Thanks."

* * *

And so, Remus once again found himself standing outside Tonks's flat. Once again, he was terrified to knock on her door. However, he knew it wasn't fair to let her think that he had been hurt, and it would be awful of him to let her hear that he was fine from Olivia. So, like the Gryffindor that he was, he knocked on the door.

"Who's there?"

Remus started. That frail, quiet voice sounded nothing like the strong, vibrant Auror he knew. "It's Remus," he said a bit uncertainly.

He could hear her whisper his name in disbelief, then a rapid series of clicks as the locking charms on the door were removed. Finally, the door was thrown open, and Tonks stood before him. Like Olivia, she only looked at him for a moment before collapsing into his arms.

For the second time that day, Remus held tightly to a woman who meant so much to him, letting her cry out all her fear for him. He gently led her back into her flat, shutting the door behind them.

"Remus," she whispered over and over. "I can't believe you're here. I can't believe you're all right."

"I'm fine," he said, as he had said to Olivia.

"I was so scared," she said. "I thought …"

"I know," Remus said, his face reflecting his pain. "I wish I hadn't put you through that." _It's the whole reason I've kept my distance_.

"Come in," she said suddenly, grabbing his hand to pull him fully into the flat. "Sit down."

She led him to the couch and sat down with him. She kept staring at him as though afraid to look away for fear he'd disappear again.

"Tonks," Remus said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" she asked. "It's not your fault that someone was attacked. McGonagall told us that Greyback had attacked one of his own."

"I know," he said. "I meant that I'm sorry that I've put you through all this. This fear for me, this mess that is my life … I never wanted to bring you into it."

"We're friends, Remus," she said, stumbling a bit over the word "friends." "This is what happens. We worry about each other."

"I know," he said again. "It's just …"

"Just what?"

He took a deep breath. "I watched my wife suffer with me," he said. "I didn't want you to have to go through that."

Tonks caught her breath. He had never talked openly about his wife to her before. "You've never asked anything of me," she whispered.

"I haven't because I'm afraid for you."

"I'm strong, Remus."

"So was she," he said with a wistful smile. "She was a beautiful person. Aside from physical beauty, she was so wonderful. So sweet, so kind, so … tough. She was one of the cleverest witches … a Ravenclaw …" He turned his eyes to look into hers. "Like you."

Tonks's breath caught in her throat again.

"We started dating during fifth year," he said. He didn't know why he was telling her this, but it seemed very important that he get it all out. "It was … I fell in love with her. She was the most important thing in my life. I was sure I would marry her. Then, in seventh year, we broke up."

Tonks's eyes widened, but she still remained silent.

"I hadn't told her about being a werewolf," he explained. "She figured it out on her own."

Tonks felt a surge of anger toward this woman she had never met for leaving Remus over something like that.

"It wasn't because I'm a werewolf," he said, correctly interpreting the fire in her eyes. "She thought that I was showing a lack of trust."

"Why?" she asked, finally finding her voice.

Remus smiled sadly. "I had told my friends. James, Sirius and Peter all knew, but I hadn't told her. I suppose that, to a seventeen-year-old, it seemed like I was choosing them over her. So, she broke up with me."

"But you married her?"

"We were only apart for a few months," he explained. "She … I was a wreck. It was the worst time of my life – up to that point."

"But, it all worked out."

"Yes," he said. "We graduated, James and Lily got married … Laura and I got married." He smiled sadly again. "We were so happy. It was wonderful."

Tonks nodded, silently urging him to continue.

"She came from a large family," he said. "I still keep in touch with her brothers and sisters. They're great people. But, if you grow up in a family like that, it just makes you want to have one of your own. Laura wanted children more than anything."

"Did you?"

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "We tried so hard for so long to have a baby. But, it wasn't meant to be."

"I'm sorry," Tonks whispered, thinking that Remus would have been a wonderful father.

"Then, Laura got sick," he said, his face darkening. "She had a heart problem. So little could be done then … it's not like now. I just watched as she got sicker and sicker, until finally …" He trailed off into silence, feeling the tears prick at the backs of his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Tonks whispered, watching him fight for control.

"No, I want to," he said. He swallowed hard. "Laura meant everything to me," he said. "She was my first love – my only love for the longest time." He paused and looked deeply into Tonks's eyes, knowing that Laura had been his only love until he had met the young woman next to him. "I wanted her to be the mother of my children. They would have been beautiful – they would have had her eyes, just like Harry has Lily's. She shouldn't have died so young."

"No one should," Tonks said quietly, thinking of all those who had been lost in recent months.

"She suffered so much because of me," Remus said. "She watched all the pain and agony that I endure each month. She nearly gave up her dream of having children because we were afraid of what having a werewolf for a father would do to them. She had to endure the social stigma of being a werewolf's wife." He paused and looked at Tonks with gentle, pain-filled eyes. He reached out to caress her cheek. "I don't want that for you, love. I don't want to make you go through all that she did. You deserve better."

Tonks closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. A tear leaked out from behind a closed eyelid as she reached up to cover his hand with hers.

"Life isn't easy for me, either," she said. "Remember, I'm a shape-shifter, too. There are a lot of prejudices against me, too."

"Tonks, I –"

She cut him off by putting a finger over his lips. "Remus, please, can't we just sit for a little while? I just … I'm just so happy to have you here, alive and whole, and I don't want to ruin it with another circular conversation."

He nodded, and put his arm around her, pulling her close. She settled down against him, feeling truly happy for the first time in months.

After a time, Remus realized that Tonks was asleep. Given how horrible she looked, he had a feeling that she needed the rest. So, rather than waking her, he shift himself into a more comfortable position lying on the couch with her pressed up against him. It was only a matter of time before, he, too, was asleep.

* * *

Tonks was completely disoriented when she woke up. She shifted slightly, then immediately froze. She turned her head to see that the sleeping form of Remus Lupin had become her personal pillow … and mattress.

Groaning inwardly, she ran her hand over her face. As many times as she had pictured them waking up like this, it had never been after a conversation like the one they had had … and it had rarely been wearing clothes.

She shifted again, trying to find a way to get up without putting all her weight on any one part of his body. Despite her attempts to be subtle, her slight movements woke him. Remus looked confused for a moment. Then, as he stared into her face, understanding dawned on his, bringing with it a deep red blush.

"Hi," she said uncertainly.

"Hi," he replied. "Look, Tonks, I …"

"Don't," she said quickly. "I'm as much to blame as you are."

"I guess we don't really have anything to be embarrassed about, right?"

She giggled. "Right. Try convincing your face of that."

He brought his hands up to his flaming cheeks. "Sorry. Strong blush reflex."

"Yeah, I have one, too."

"So I can see."

She giggled nervously again.

Remus glanced at his watch. "Wow, it's really late … or, early, if you will." His eyes widened. "Oh, no."

"What's wrong?"

"I promised Olivia that I'd be home when she got home from work. She's going to be in a panic."

"Go," Tonks said at once, clambering off him.

"But …"

She shook her head. "We're good, Remus. Really. Go see Olivia."

He stood up somewhat reluctantly. "Tonks, I …"

She looked at him expectantly. "Yes?"

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."

She stared after him with wide eyes. Even after he had gone home, she remained rooted in the same spot, a goofy smile spread across her face.


	46. The Calm and the Storm

A/N: We're almost to the end! Although this chapter has a definite ring of finality to it, there's one more to come. I'll save my emotional thanks for that chapter, and leave you with a huge thank you for reading and reviewing this one. I hope you enjoy it – I know I had fun writing it!

I don't own the Potter universe.

The Calm and the Storm

"You know, I'm not sure I like this new job of yours."

Olivia frowned slightly. "Why not?"

Dana gave her a teasing smile. "I hardly ever get to see you anymore."

"Believe me, I wish it could be different," Olivia sighed. "The problem is that I'm doing two jobs. I'm working with John on running the department, but I'm also still doing fieldwork. Sometimes, I just wish he would decide where he wants me and leave it at that."

"I thought he knew that he wanted you to work with him."

"Yes, that's true," Olivia said, "but he also wants me to be happy. Since he knows how much I love working in the field, he's reluctant to take that away from me."

"Liv, if you just want to do one or the other, tell him. I'm sure he'll let you do whatever you want. You're his sister!"

"Yeah, I know," she sighed again. "But, the problem is, _I'm_ not sure what I want to do. I know that I don't want to be taken out of the field completely, but I also know that I'm having a good time with the administrative part, too."

"I still can't believe you're so enamored with the paperwork."

"I know," Olivia smiled. "It was a bit overwhelming at first, but now that things are falling into place, I'm liking it more and more."

"Things are better, then?"

"Oh, so much," Olivia said excitedly. "I think we're really getting this department back on track. Moody would be proud."

"Moody always was proud of you. You know that he thought that you … and Sirius … were the best of his new recruits."

Olivia smiled a bittersweet smile. "We worked so hard for him."

"Well, it paid off."

"For me, at least," she said quietly.

Dana shook her head. "For Sirius, too. Think of how much joy he got out of defying his family."

Olivia giggled in spite of herself. "He did love that part, didn't he?"

"And, he was able to help defend Harry."

"That mattered more to him than anything," Olivia said quietly. "He loved Harry so much."

"We all do," Dana sighed. "I just wish we could spend time with him. Lily would have wanted him to know us."

Olivia shook her head. "Lily would have wanted him to be safe. I truly believe that it's easier for us to keep him safe if we keep our distance. Let Remus be the one he knows and can confide in. For now, we can stay on the sidelines."

Dana shook her head. "It's just hard."

"I know," Olivia sighed. She knew that she had to change the direction of the conversation before both of them were completely depressed. "How's Laura?" she asked suddenly.

Dana looked confused at the sudden change of topic. "She's fine. Stressed over exams, but that's to be expected."

"It is that time of year, isn't it? She'll be home soon, then."

Dana's face lit up with a smile. "When she comes home, we'll have our family reunion."

"Family reunion?" Olivia repeated.

"Yes. My mother's coming in from France when Laura comes home from school. Laura's actually going to her house first, then they're coming here together."

"That's great!" Olivia grinned. "I haven't seen them in ages."

"Neither have I," Dana agreed.

"When will all this be?"

"Two weeks," Dana replied. "I can't wait."

* * *

"I can't believe we only have two more weeks together before summer," Laura said mournfully.

Mathieu took her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss against the back of it. "We'll have to visit each other. You will come to see me, won't you?"

"Of course. And you'll have to come to see me. I want you to meet my mum and my godparents."

"I'd love to."

"They'll just love you, I know it." Laura smiled and relaxed back against him as they lay together on the school lawn, staring up at the stars.

Mathieu smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Laura," he said softly.

She turned so that she could see him, trying to look into his eyes in the darkness. "What?" she whispered.

"I love you," he repeated.

A beaming smile broke out across her face. "I love you, too."

He looked at her for a moment, then kissed her. He pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. He pressed her back onto the grass and situated himself on top of her.

Laura had snogged boys before. She had ever snogged Mathieu before. But she knew that she had never been kissed before the same way that he was kissing her – and she had never kissed anyone the way she was kissing him.

Love made all the difference in the world.

* * *

Remus dressed in his best robes, taking the time to carefully arrange his hair. He knew that he was being ridiculous, going to such extremes for a colony event, but he couldn't stop himself. He hardly ever had the chance to dress up anymore, and Maureen's birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity.

Finally satisfied that he looked good enough for the party she was throwing, he turned to pick up the gift that he had already wrapped. He hoped that she would like the book he had chosen.

Glancing at his watch, he knew that he needed to either leave or be late. With her gift in hand, Remus headed out into the cool night.

* * *

Tonks ran around her flat, trying to make sure that everything was neat and clean. She ran her hand through her limp hair, pushing it back from her face. She knew that Aurors on her team well enough at this point that it seemed ridiculous to go to such extremes for a routine meeting, but she couldn't stop herself. Her mother had taught her to clean her house for visitors, and that was what she intended to do.

Finally satisfied that she had at least cleaned it to the point of not embarrassing herself, she hurried to the bathroom to take a quick shower before the team arrived. She wanted to appear as the calm and collected leader, rather than the stressed and overwhelmed one.

She truly was beginning to feel calm and collected again. She had finally adjusted to running her mission without Olivia, and felt that Hogwarts was becoming safer and safer. Things were under control at long last.

Sighing as the water hit her face, she reminded herself to hurry. She didn't have much time before the meeting would start.

* * *

"Remus! You came!"

Remus grinned and leaned down to kiss Maureen's cheek. "Would I miss your special day? Never."

She giggled. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Happy birthday," he replied, offering her the gift he had brought. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will," she smiled, leading him inside. "Come on, everyone's out back."

"Who's here?" Remus asked nervously.

"Everyone who's anyone," she laughed.

"Everyone?" Remus repeated, his eyebrows shooting up.

"I'm kidding. There are about a dozen people here."

Remus nodded.

Maureen looked at him closely. "It's going to be fine, Remus. You're my friend, and this is my party. They'll be civil, if nothing else."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am," she said confidently. "Come on. I'll introduce you around."

They stepped out into the backyard, where Maureen's birthday party was in full swing. Remus looked around at the other werewolves, watching silently for a moment as they talked and laughed together. He was struck for the first time by how _normal_ the whole scene was. Somehow, this gathering of friends seemed like something he had done before with his own friends – it was really no different than the dinners he had been to with the Weasleys.

In that moment, Remus had a revelation. He realized what he had been doing wrong. He had spent all this time thinking of the differences that existed between him and the other werewolves. He had never stopped to consider the similarities. He had seen people who chose to live apart from society, not people who had created their own society. He had seen people who craved only violence, not people who sought friendship with others like themselves.

Really, their relationships were no different than his friendship with James, Sirius, Peter and the girls. They had bonded at Hogwarts because they were all Gryffindors. These people around him had bonded because they were all werewolves.

They had thought less of him from the first day because he had chosen to live among humans. Now, he realized that _he_ had thought less of _them_ because they chose to live in Greyback's colony.

A shock wave ran through him at the thought. He had done to them exactly what he had resented them for doing to him. He jerked Maureen's hand, and she looked up to see his pale face and wide eyes.

"Remus? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he said slowly, looking down at her. He smiled slightly. "Will you introduce me to your friends?"

"Yes, of course."

* * *

Tonks was ready before her team arrived. She even had time to take out some butterbeer and snacks. She had learned long ago that the best meetings featured food and drink.

The team arrived punctually, as always. Tonks welcomed them in and passed the drinks and snacks around. Everyone chatted amicably for a moment before Tonks took her seat in the circle around her living room.

"Well, I'd like to start by congratulating everyone on a job well done," she said. "Based on everything I've seen, I'd say this school is as safe as it's ever been."

"I agree," Dawlish said at once. "We've all done a great job, and, Tonks, you really deserve a lot of the credit. I know we all were nervous about doing this once Alexander was gone and there was no replacement, but you've pulled us all together really well. So, job well done to you, too."

"Thank you," Tonks smiled, flushing slightly. Dawlish had never been one of her favorite people, if for no other reason than because Kingsley didn't like him, but she couldn't deny that he was an excellent Auror. His approval meant a lot to her.

"You know, I'd rather like to see the kids allowed back into Hogsmeade," Proudfoot commented.

Several eyebrows were raised, but Tonks looked thoughtful. "You know, that might just be a good idea," she said.

"I don't know," Savage said slowly. "We've only now got the school under control. Do we really want to risk bringing the kids into the village?"

"We could request a few extra Aurors, just for the day," Tonks said. She sighed. "They're so close to the end of the year, and you know as well as I do that they could probably use a break."

"We can control it," Proudfoot said. "Perhaps limit it to only those students who are granted permission from their Head of House."

"That's a good idea," Savage said, realizing that the others were not about to give up on this idea. "That way we could control the size of the group a bit more."

Tonks nodded. "What do you think, Dawlish?"

"I think we need to talk to Dumbledore before we decide anything."

"You're right," Tonks said. "I'll request a meeting with him. Hopefully, we can have this resolved within the next few days."

An owl swooped through her open window. Immediately recognizing the Hogwarts owl, Tonks frowned as she got up to retrieve the message it carried. She read it over, then looked up at her Aurors.

"Looks like the man can read minds," she said. "I'm afraid we're going to have to cut this short. Dumbledore wants to see me immediately."

* * *

Within twenty minutes of arriving at Maureen's party, Remus had been introduced to everyone there. The werewolves were very distrusting, but several were willing to talk to him for Maureen's sake. Remus was glad for those three people – Boris, Marie and Sonia. Without them, he would have been standing by himself, looking every bit the outcast he was.

As it was, the three people with him talked more to one another than to him. Even so, the fact that they were willing to include him at all was more than he had hoped possible. He tried to keep to himself, adding comments from time to time and answering questions when they were asked of him. Maureen made her way around to talk to everyone, finally finding her way back to Remus. She grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the others.

"Excuse me," he said politely before following her.

"Are you having fun?" she asked as soon as they were alone.

"I am," he smiled. "Your friends are nice."

Her face lit up with a smile. "I knew you'd think so. You just had to give them a chance."

"You know, I didn't realize that until tonight," Remus said. "I was so busy worrying about them not giving _me_ a chance that I didn't see that it's a two-way street."

Maureen smiled. "I knew everything would work out in the end."

"You know, my friend Olivia is always telling me that I need to get over myself. I guess she's right."

"She sounds like she's a smart woman."

"She is," Remus smiled.

Their conversation was cut short when and owl landed on the table in front of them. Remus looked at the Hogwarts crest on the letter it carried and frowned. Thankful that he was away from the rest of the group, he moved to shield the owl from prying eyes as he took the letter.

"Not bad news, I hope," Maureen said.

Remus shook his head. "I hope not," he muttered. "As of now, it's only bad new for the two of us. I need to leave."

"Where are you going?"

"Dumbledore needs to see me," he said quietly. "He says to come immediately."

Maureen's face fell. "Oh."

Remus hugged her. "I hate to do this to you on your birthday."

She shook her head. "Go," she said. "I know how important Dumbledore is. If he wants to see you immediately, it must be something that can't wait."

"Yes," Remus agreed, "I'm sure it is."

* * *

When Remus arrived in Dumbledore's office, a small crowd had already gathered. Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Sprout and Snape were there, and had been joined by Tonks and Bill. Remus greeted all of them, then took the seat that Dumbledore offered.

"Now that we're all here, I believe we can get started," the Headmaster said.

McGonagall frowned slightly as she looked around at the odd assortment of people in the office. Heads of House, Order members … it was all a bit strange to her.

Dumbledore smiled at the confusion evident in his guests' faces. "I'm going to be gone for a few hours this evening."

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "That's not particularly unusual, Dumbledore," she said. "You've left the school before. We've never needed a meeting for you to announce it."

"This is different," he said. "I have … intelligence … that suggests that things may be a bit … I'd like you all to patrol the corridors tonight in my absence."

"Patrol?" Bill repeated.

"Yes," Dumbledore said, sweeping his gaze around the room to include them all. "I will only be gone a few hours, but security is of the utmost importance. That's why I've called in Remus, Nymphadora and Bill. I want them to assist the Heads in their hall patrols."

"That's all we need to know?" McGonagall asked.

"For now," Dumbledore nodded. He paused. "Oh, yes, there is something else. I will be taking Harry Potter with me tonight."

"What?" McGonagall and Remus exclaimed as one, both ready to jump out of their chairs.

"Harry will be accompanying me on my journey tonight," Dumbledore repeated. "And _that_, Minerva, is all you need to know."

McGonagall shook her head wordlessly. Years of working closely with Dumbledore had taught her how futile it was to try to make him talk, but this was one time when she desperately wanted to shake answers out of him.

"I hope that I won't be gone long," Dumbledore said. "I will see all of you soon."

They all murmured their good byes, then took their leave from the office. McGonagall looked around at them once they were back in the corridor.

"Lupin, Tonks, Flitwick and I will take the first watch," she said. "Snape, Sprout and Weasley, you will relieve us in two hours."

They all nodded to one another, and went their separate ways. They had no way of knowing that they were beginning one of the worst nights of any of their lives.

* * *

"So, what were you doing when you got Dumbledore's message?" Tonks asked as she and Remus walked through the empty corridors together.

"I was at a birthday party," Remus replied.

Tonks gave him a look of surprise and Remus laughed.

"I know," he said. "It doesn't seem likely, does it? But, you know, I realized something tonight. Those werewolves – they're not all that different from me."

"How can you say that?" Tonks exclaimed. "They're nothing like you!"

"That's what I thought, too," Remus said. "And I think that's why I've had so much trouble getting through to them. I have to see them for what they are – people who've been afflicted with a terrible curse – not for what they're not."

Tonks shook her head. "I don't know, Remus. I think that you're a better person than me, if you can believe that."

"I'm not," he said quietly. "I've just lived through more than you, that's all."

Whatever reply Tonks would have given was cut off by the sound of running feet and jumbled voices. They looked at each other for a moment, then took off at a run, following the voices. They turned a corner and nearly ran straight into Ron, Ginny and Neville.

"Whoa!" Remus exclaimed, reaching out to grab Ginny's shoulders, effectively halting her forward progress. "What's going on?"

"Malfoy –"

"Death Eaters –"

"Peruvian Instant Darkness –"

"Couldn't see –"

"So many people –"

"Afraid of hurting each other –"

"_Stop_!" Remus yelled. "You're not making any sense! We can help, but you need to slow down and tell us what happened."

Ron recovered first. "We just ran into Malfoy outside the Room of Requirement."

"Room of Requirement?" Tonks questioned.

"I'll explain later," Remus said. He turned back to Ron. "And?"

"He was carrying the Hand of Glory," Neville said. "It only gives light –"

"To the one who holds it," Tonks finished.

"Right," Ginny said. "He saw us and threw some of Fred and George's Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder into the air."

"It went pitch black," Ron said. "We couldn't see a thing, but we could hear people running past us …"

"So many people," Neville said with a bit of a shudder.

"We're sure they're Death Eaters."

"Where did they go?" Tonks asked tensely.

The three teenagers looked at each other and shrugged.

"We think they were running that way," Ron said, pointing to a corridor to their left. "We were going to find someone to help us find them."

"All right," Tonks said, her Auror mask already slipping into place. "Let's go find them."

They hurried down the corridor, trying to find the Death Eaters. They had only gone a little way when Flitwick came bounding toward them.

"Oh, good, you're here!" he exclaimed. "Go, they're all on their way to the Astronomy Tower – Bill and Minerva are already there – I'm going to find Severus –"

"We should find Hermione and Luna," Ron said.

"No," Remus said at once. "You stay with us."

All the nerves he had felt about Harry going with Dumbledore were gone. He was sure that whatever he was doing couldn't possibly be as dangerous as the situation they were about to walk into.

They continued on, moving even faster, until they burst upon the battle scene. It was a comically unfair fight, with only McGonagall and Bill fighting against so many Death Eaters. Without stopping to think, Remus and Tonks jumped into the battle. They barely realized that Ron, Ginny and Neville were fighting, too.

Remus ran forward, Stunning a Death Eater who was about to curse McGonagall from behind. Involved in an intense duel, she barely even noticed what had happened. Remus turned to see where else he could help and saw a jet of green light rushing toward him.

For a moment, all he could think of was James and Lily, and the fact that this had been the last thing they had seen. He thought of their last moments, and the fact that they had died for their son – just as he was about to do.

Then, a body flew in out of nowhere. Remus barely registered that it was Giddeon, a Death Eater, before the curse hit him. Giddeon fell to the ground in front of Remus. He had taken the curse meant for Remus.

Remus barely had time to catch his breath before seeing a Death Eater advance on Tonks. She was already fighting another and hadn't yet realized what was happening.

"Tonks, to your right!" he yelled, running forward.

Tonks turned, but could not curse him before he sent a curse flying at her. Remus ran faster than he ever had in his life, throwing himself at Tonks. They rolled down to the floor together, both out of harm's way. They stopped on the floor, Remus firmly on top of Tonks.

"Remus," she murmured.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes … thank you …"

Remus looked at her, wanting nothing more than to kiss her. But, it was not meant to be. He rolled off her, and they both stood up again, both ready to rejoin the battle.

Somehow, in all the mayhem, Malfoy had vanished. Neville, who had been watching for him, ran for the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. As he charged toward the bottom step, he was thrown back with a force that lifted him off his feet and shot him across the room in a graceful arch.

Remus ran to help the boy who lay motionless. He looked him over quickly, unable to see any outward injuries. "Neville? Can you hear me?"

Neville groaned. "It hurts," he wheezed.

"I know," Remus said. "I'll get you to Madam Pomfrey as soon as I can, I promise –"

His words were cut off by a fierce, snarling shriek. Remus froze. He knew that sound all too well. He slowly lifted his head to see Greyback standing in the middle of the battle.

Greyback surveyed the scene with savage eyes. Knowing that it was only a matter of time, Remus stood to his feet. Greyback's eyes swept over him, locking with his own.

In that moment, Remus knew that it was done. He would not be allowed back in the colony, he would not be allowed to communicate with the other werewolves. He would be lucky to be allowed to live.

Greyback tore his eyes from Remus and locked them on Bill. Remus saw what was going to happen a moment before it did.

"No!"

But it was too late. There was nothing that he could do to help Bill. The curses that he threw at Greyback were repelled through a magic that he did not know.

Ginny's shriek when she saw her brother's mangled body would reverberate in his ears for the rest of his life.

Snape finally appeared on the scene. No one reacted to his entrance, although Remus was sure that the others were as relieved as he was to have more help. Remus watched as Snape ran up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower – the same stairs Giddeon had run down, the same stairs Neville had not been able to go up.

From that moment, the pace of the battle seemed to slacken. Only a few minutes passed before Snape came running back down the stairs. He shouted something, and the Death Eaters left.

The silence that followed was deafening.

* * *

"Come on," Remus said. He grabbed Tonks's hand, pulling her out of the hospital wing.

"Where are we going?" she asked tearfully.

"Somewhere where we can talk."

She walked beside him silently, wondering if she had gone too far. She knew that announcing her feelings – and, essentially, forcing him to admit his own – in front of the crowd around Bill's hospital bed probably had been a bad idea. Even so, it had shown him how many people believed that they should be together …

Remus stopped at the dead end of a corridor. Tonks looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I promised to show you the Room of Requirement," he said. "Stay here."

Tonks watched was Remus paced back and forth in front of the wall, wondering if perhaps he had lost his mind. Her eyes widened as a door appeared. He opened it, then held out his hand for her.

"After you."

Tonks entered the room and looked around in surprise. It looked just like her living room.

"What is this?" she whispered.

"It becomes what you need it to be," Remus said. "We needed a place to talk."

"But this is my house."

He nodded. "Would you rather talk in mine?"

"No, I … I just want to talk."

Remus nodded, encouraging her to continue.

Tonks sighed. "Remus … you know how I feel. I've gone against everything my mother ever taught me with you, and I've worn my heart on my sleeve. I want to be with you, and I think that, under all your protests, you want the same thing." She paused. "I saw the way you saved McGonagall from a Death Eater and I saw the way you saved me. There was a major difference there, and I hope you won't deny what that meant."

Remus shook his head. "I'll be honest. I love you, Tonks. I have for a long time. It's just … I'm afraid of what would happen … I think you deserve more …"

"And what if I said the same thing? That you deserve better than me?"

He looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "There's no one better than you."

"That's exactly how I feel," she whispered. "Stop trying to act like you know what's best for _me_, and start thinking about what you know is best for _us_."

"Best for us," Remus repeated slowly.

Tonks held her breath, wondering again if she had pushed too far.

"It won't be easy, life with me," Remus cautioned.

Hope jumped into Tonks's heart at his words. "I don't care," she said. "I'll stick with you through it all."

Remus stood stock-still. "What did you say?"

"I said that I'll stick with you," Tonks said with a bit of a frown. "Thick and thin."

Remus shook his head, feeling a thousand emotions. He knew that he had never used that phrase around her before, and he doubted that Sirius had. It was that one phrase, that one echo of his past that sealed his future.

"I'm still not sure this is the best time to start a relationship," was his final moment of hesitation. "We're in the middle of a war …"

"What _is_ the best time?" Tonks asked. "The perfect conditions don't exist."

"James and Lily did it," Remus said, almost to himself. He turned to look at her fully. "I'm not saying they had the best ending. They died for each other and for Harry after such a short time together. But, I'm sure that if they had the opportunity, they would do it all again. I'm sure it was worth it to have those few short years."

"Are you saying …?"

He nodded, and her eyes filled with tears. They moved toward each other and fell into one another's arms, laughing, kissing and crying. As he looked into her eyes, Remus felt his heart lift. Finally, finally, he was seeing her cry tears of happiness.

"I love you," he whispered.

She laughed through her tears. "I love you, too."


	47. Epilogue

A/N: Okay, I'll save the tearful good byes for the moment, and get through the "future plans" part …

I'm not planning any other Harry Potter stories in the near future. My plan is to revise the three stories of this series once the seventh book is out. I want to make them completely canon-compatible. That could be a challenge, but I'm pretty excited for it. My thought right now is to dabble in some "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" fanfic, so if you like that series, be on the look-out for my next venture. No promises yet, but I do have a strong desire to try out some new characters in a new setting.

Okay, now for the emotional part …

Well, we've finally come to the end of our journey. I want to thank you so much for reading my stories, and for "sticking with me" through all the bumps along the way. Your support has meant the world to me. Please believe me when I say that I read every single review, and that they've all helped me in some way. They've helped me to grow as a writer, and, most importantly, to see my characters clearly from every angle. You have shaped my writing, and I thank you for it. You've made all the work and frustration worth it.

Thank you again. I love you all!

- Michelle

* * *

I don't own the Harry Potter universe. 

Epilogue

* * *

_19 February 2001, 11:00 pm_

Remus lay on his stomach, drifting in the world of the almost-asleep, when he felt his wife's feather-light kiss on his cheek. He smiled sleepily, knowing that any other response was nearly beyond him.

"Remus, are you awake?"

"Sort of," he mumbled.

"Can you do better than that? I have something to tell you."

Remus opened one eye to look into Tonks's excited face. "Something to tell me?" he repeated, trying to draw himself away from the comfort of sleep.

"Yes. A secret."

"All right, I'm awake," he said, still not rolling over onto his back. "Tell me."

She grinned and leaned down so close that her lips were practically against his ear. "You're going to be a daddy," she whispered.

Shivers ran through Remus at both the touch of her breath on his skin and the words it carried. "What?" he whispered. He finally managed to move, sitting up to look into her eyes. "I'm going to be a daddy?"

"Yes," she said, her face shining.

"You're sure?"

"Of course." She looked at him closely, trying to gauge his reaction. "Remus … you are _happy_ about this, aren't you?"

"Happy?" he repeated, tears filling his eyes. "Darling, _happy_ doesn't go far enough."

She laughed, feeling tears fill her own eyes, and threw her arms around him. He crushed her to him, laughing and crying with her.

In that moment, he truly felt like the happiest man alive.

* * *

_21 June 2001, 3:30 pm_

"You're really, really sure about this?"

"Positive."

"You know, there are plenty of tests we could do to make sure. Dana has suggested several."

Tonks shook her head. "Dana is a great Healer, and I'm glad that she's going to help us deliver our baby. But, Remus, we don't need any tests. We're going to have a boy. I can feel it."

"There is a chance …"

"Don't even say it," Tonks said, holding up her hand to stop him. She ran her other hand over her rounded abdomen. "This baby is a boy, and we're going to name him Sirius."

Remus smiled a bittersweet smile. "He suggested that James and Lily name Harry Sirius, you know."

"I don't doubt that for a minute," Tonks grinned. "But, I'm glad that they picked Harry. They've left Sirius for our little boy."

"He'd be so excited – not just about the baby, but about everything. About us, our marriage, our baby … I know this is what he wanted for us."

Tonks smiled and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "It's what I wanted for us, too."

"Obviously," Remus smiled.

She shook her head. "Quit stalling and just do it."

Remus made a face. "I'm still not sure this is the best idea."

"Remus …"

"Oh, all right, then."

Making another face, he took out his wand.

"Oh, stop acting like it's going to kill you," Tonks laughed.

He shook his head, and waved his wand. Within seconds, all four walls of the nursery were painted a lovely shade of sky blue.

"There," Tonks smiled. "Doesn't it look nice? Little Sirius is going to love his room."

"I just hope it really is little Sirius … and not little Nymphadora."

It was Tonks's turn to make a face of disgust. "Do you honestly believe that I'd let you name a child something like that?"

Remus laughed. "Stranger things have happened."

* * *

_12 October 2001, 2:00 pm_

"My feet hurt."

"I think I've heard that every single day for the past five months."

Tonks shot him a look of death. "Would you like to be the pregnant one next time?"

Remus laughed. "Only if you can find a way to make it happen."

"Was that a challenge?"

He laughed again. "Come here. I'll massage your feet."

Tonks lowered herself onto the couch, grimacing in pain.

"Do your feet really hurt that much?"

"Well, it's my back, too …" She trailed off, her eyes widening. "And my abdomen."

Remus was on his feet in a flash. "Did you just say abdomen?"

"Now, calm down," Tonks said. "We can't panic. It could just be nothing."

"Or it could be labor."

She shook her head. "I'm not entirely sure."

"Tonks, we need to go to St. Mungo's."

"I don't want to go yet."

"What?"

"Let's just wait a bit and make sure that it really is labor."

Remus looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Please, Remus, let's just stay here for a bit."

He lowered himself back onto the couch next to her. "How long do we wait?"

"Just a bit longer. You promised me a massage."

* * *

_12 October 2001, 4:45 pm_

Remus had long-since finished Tonks's massage, leaving her lying on the couch. He was in the kitchen, debating whether or not he could physically drag her to St. Mungo's, when she gasped.

"What?" he exclaimed, running into the living room.

Tonks was sitting up on the couch, her eyes wide with wonder. "My water just broke."

"Tonks!" he yelled. "Why didn't you tell me how far into this we were?"

"I didn't want to be one of those women who goes to the hospital over nothing!"

"This is definitely something!" Remus cried. "Were you hoping for little Sirius to be born at home?"

"No," she said, tears beginning to gather in her eyes.

Remus sat down next to her. "Does it hurt very badly?"

"It's not just that, it's …" She trailed off, and a tear ran down her cheek. "I'm scared, Remus."

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "I'm a bit scared, too, love. But, we can do this. We can do anything together."

She gave him a watery smile, and he kissed her lips.

"Come on," he said. "We're getting to that hospital."

* * *

_12 October 2001, 10:53 pm_

"I think we're almost there!" Dana said encouragingly.

Tonks began to sob in earnest. "Please, Dana, please just get this baby out of me."

Remus held her hands tightly. "It's just a bit longer, darling. In just a few minutes, we'll have Sirius here with us."

"You tell me it's 'just a bit longer' when you're the one pushing the baby out," she groaned. "I swear to you, Remus, if you ever suggest that you want another baby, I will hex your –"

"Okay, I need you to push!" Dana yelled over her, trying not to giggle.

Tonks groaned as she struggled to lean forward to push again. She screamed, squeezing Remus's hands with bone-crushing force. Her scream ended in a sob that Dana had to speak over to announce their child's birth.

"Congratulations, Mum and Dad!" she exclaimed. "You have a beautiful baby!"

"Oh, let me see him," Tonks sobbed.

Dana laughed. "I might suggest rethinking your name. I don't think that your daughter is going to appreciate being called 'Sirius.'"

"Daughter?" Tonks and Remus repeated in unison.

She nodded, laying the baby on Tonks's chest. "You have a lovely little girl."

"Oh, look at you," Tonks sobbed, gently running her fingers over the baby's cheeks. "Hi, Baby. I'm your mummy."

Tears slowly filled Remus's eyes as he looked at his daughter. She was so small, so beautiful, and so perfect.

"I think Daddy wants to say hello," Tonks said.

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Hold her," Tonks said, offering him the baby. "Let her meet her daddy."

Remus gathered the baby into his arms, looking down at her in awe. "Hi, sweetheart," he whispered in a choked voice.

He stared down into her blue eyes, thinking of the last newborn he had held. Harry Potter had been no bigger than his little girl when he had looked up at him with eyes that would change to match the green in Lily's. In two weeks' time, that little boy would be a married man, the husband of Ginny Weasley. It was so hard to believe that James and Lily's little boy was all grown up.

James and Lily had been so excited to share their son with their friends. They had passed the baby around, as Remus was sure he would do with his little girl in just a few minutes, when Dana brought Olivia, Laura, Harry, Kingsley and Tonks's parents into the room. He remembered the emotion that he had felt when he had held Harry on that long-ago day, and knew that it could not compare to all the he felt now, looking into his own daughter's eyes.

"I'm your daddy," he told her, smiling through his tears.

He had waited so many years to be able to say those words. For so long, it had seemed like an impossible dream. Now, he knew why he had had to wait so long.

He had been waiting for _her_.

* * *

_13 October 2001, 7:30 am_

"Good morning," Remus said, walking into Tonks's room with two bouquets of flowers. "How are my girls today?"

Tonks grinned up at him from her bed, where she was holding the baby. "We're fine," she said quietly. "She's sleeping."

Remus stepped closer, leaning down to kiss his wife's lips and his daughter's forehead. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yes."

He smiled and straightened up. "I brought these for her."

Tonks smiled as she looked at the pink roses in his right hand. "I'm sure she'll love them … as soon as she wakes up."

Remus grinned as he put them down on the nightstand. "And I brought these for her mummy."

Her smile widened as she looked at the daisies – her favorite flower – in his other hand. "I think the baby's flowers were more expensive than mine."

"What can I say? She has more expensive taste than you."

A soft knock sounded on the door before it was pushed open. Dana peeked into the room, smiling at them.

"Good morning," she said. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Tonks grinned. "Come and see my beautiful baby."

"She is beautiful," Dana smiled, stepping over to join them. She looped her arm through Remus's as she looked down at the baby. "Does she have a name yet?"

"Don't rush us," Tonks laughed. "We're still getting over the fact that we can't name her Sirius."

"I'm sorry," Dana laughed. "It's just that I have this annoying birth certificate to complete …"

"We'll have a name by lunch," Remus said. "I promise."

"You'd better," Dana laughed. "Okay, give me a minute to work, then I'll leave you alone."

After checking both mother and baby, Dana left the room. Remus sat down beside the bed, staring at his daughter as though afraid she would vanish.

"So, do you have a name in mind?" Tonks asked, looking up at Remus. "You seemed pretty confident that we'd have a name soon."

Remus hesitated. "I'll understand if you don't like it."

"It's not Nymphadora, is it?"

He laughed. "No."

"Well, then there's a good chance that I'll like it."

Still, he hesitated.

"Remus," Tonks said firmly, "if you don't tell me the name, I'll never like it _or_ dislike it. Spit it out."

"I … I was thinking … Hope."

"Hope?"

"Yes." He began to speak quickly, wanting to justify his choice. "You see … for so many years, I had no hope of ever having a family. First there were all the problems Laura and I had conceiving, then she got sick, and she died … I never thought I'd love anyone again. Then, you came into my life, and you brought me happiness, love … and hope. You gave me hope of loving again, hope of sharing my life again … hope of having a family. You've given me so much hope … I suppose it seems fitting to call her that."

Tears filled Tonks's eyes. She leaned over and kissed Remus; her tears falling onto his cheeks. He smiled against her lips.

"Should I take that as a yes?"

* * *

_13 October 2001, 3:20 pm_

"Hey, Dad."

Remus tore his eyes away from the nursery window to see Olivia coming toward him. "Hi," he replied with a grin.

"I was just at Tonks's room, but she was asleep. Somehow, I knew I'd find you here."

Remus grinned. "Look at her, Liv. Look at my little Hope. Isn't she the prettiest baby you've ever seen?"

"She puts the competition to shame," Olivia smiled. "You have a gorgeous daughter, Remus." She put her hand on his arm. "And, she has a wonderful father."

Remus swallowed hard. "I hope so. I want to be the best father she could have."

Olivia leaned up to kiss his cheek. "You already are."

He put his arm around her, pulling her to his side. "You are the best friend I could ask for."

She smiled. "That's what I always say about you."

* * *

_12 December 2001, 4:15 am_

Hope's cries filled the air, shaking Remus from a deep sleep. Tonks mumbled incoherently and rolled over.

"Don't," Remus said, stopping her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'll get her."

Tonks nodded sleepily and rolled back onto her stomach.

Remus pulled himself out of bed and padded across the hall to his daughter's room. The pale pink of her walls was illuminated by the soft light Tonks had cast over the room before going to bed. Hope was lying in her crib, her little fists flailing fitfully. The light shone on her face, showing that it was quickly turning red from the force of her screams.

"Hush, little girl," Remus said, gathering her into his arms. "Don't you want to let Mummy get some sleep?"

The baby calmed down as her father gently rocked her, reaching for the bottle that was kept on the dresser with a cooling charm on it. He muttered a warming charm that would bring it to the perfect temperature to feed to his daughter. Remus then finally settled himself on the rocking chair to feed Hope.

She looked up at him with her light blue-gray eyes – eyes that were so reminiscent of Sirius – as he fed her. He smiled down at her.

"Did you know that today is your birthday?" he asked quietly. "You're two months old now. That means that two months ago today, I became a daddy.

"You know, when your mummy told me that you were on the way, I almost didn't believe her. I didn't think that I'd ever get to be anyone's daddy." He paused. "I don't think I've ever told you this before, but the first time I held you, I realized something. I realized why I had to wait so long for a baby of my own. I couldn't be just _anyone's_ daddy – I had to be _your_ daddy." He gently kissed her forehead. "I'm so glad, Hope. I'm so glad that I'm your daddy. I'm so glad that you're my little girl."

A pair of arms circled around his shoulders and a warm kiss was pressed against his temple. He smiled, flushing slightly.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," Tonks replied, kissing him again. "I love you, Remus."

He turned to capture her lips with his. "I love you, too." He smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me. For forcing me to see that we do belong together." He smiled and kissed Tonks again. "For loving me. For giving me a family." He could feel tears pressing against the backs of his eyes. "For sticking with me."

"You're welcome, my love." Tonks kissed his lips again. "And thank you, too."

_Fin_


End file.
